Memories of the Bell Flower

Chapter 3: A Single Heart Beat

By Sephira jo (email sephirajo@yahoo.com) 

Rating: R.  For adult situations, violence, angst and the like.  If you don't
like these kind of stories, just don't read ‘em.

Disclaimers: I own nothing! NOTHING!!!  Except for my dvds and manga, but I make
no money off of this, no sue me, NO SUE!!!! *runs around in circles*

Author's Ramblings: Hey Everyone! *pauses and waits, everyone: Hi Sephira jo!* 
Here I am back with chapter three of Memories, not really part of what I was
planing, but hey, what the hell, right?  Any way, I want to thank everyone that
has reviewed and read my story!  Thanks!  And due to popular demand this story
will stay an Inu/Kikyou Fic, no Kagome loving here. *awww, poor Kagome, denied
the Inu Love. . . .* It kind of cuts the fic in half but hey, I don't care. :P
I'll just focus on the Inu/Kikyou Doomed relationship which I love obsessing
about so much.  So beware of Angst, Keep reviewing and down with the blasphemers
who believe not in the Inu/Kikyou lovin'!  

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You don't know how much it means to me (really
you don't.) So keep on reviewing people!  It makes me feel loveded.   

Last Time: 
Kikyou allowed herself to stop shaking, closing her eyes as she listened to the
steady rhythm of Inu Yasha's heart beat.  I'll find a way, she promised herself,
I'll find away to make sure we can be together, always.  Her heart determined,
Kikyou let sleep take her once again, this time undisturbed by dreams.

* * *

Kikyou opened her eyes slowly, the morning light sifting through the shadows in
the small cabin where she had been sleeping peacefully.  Her eyes focused and she
realized that she was cuddled close to a warm, naked and sleeping Inu Yasha. 
Kikyou started for a moment, until the memory of the night before dawned on her
as surely as the sun outside.

Kikyou smiled and started to move away from the sleeping hanyou, knowing that it
was time to start heading back to the village.  She had just barely begun to work
her way away from him when she felt a hand grasp her wrist.  She looked up to see
Inu Yasha smiling slyly at her, his expression positively demonic with his fangs
showing as he smiled.

"Where do you think you're going?" Inu Yasha asked, his voice playful and
passionate.

Kikyou smiled back, and she could feel the emotion reflecting in her eyes, "It's
morning, we should be going soon," She returned, keeping her voice a whisper for
a reason she couldn't define.

"Oh no you don't," Inu Yasha said with a chuckle then pulled her close to him,
rolling on top of her.  Kikyou stared up at his golden eyes, her own dark blue
eyes bemused.

"Oh really?  Why not," She answered back, as Inu Yasha rained kisses and bites
down on her face and neck.

"Because Kikyou, you are mine now.  You don't go anywhere until I say so."

"Is that so?" She asked simply, gasping when he bit her neck a little harder,
breaking the skin lightly.  Kikyou ran her hands through Inu Yasha's thick hair,
enjoying the way that the luxurious strands felt in her hands, playing around her
fingers.

Inu Yasha made a noise that sounded affirmative, a kind of snarling yes.  Kikyou
giggled, only to have it turn into a sharp gasp as he claimed her a second time. 
Inu Yasha's gaze caught and held hers as he thrust into her violently.

Inu Yasha positioned her legs around him to allow deeper thrusts, taking more of
her as he saw fit.  His face touched hers, his eyes grew feral he spoke, "You
don't go any where, do anything, until I say so.  Kikyou . . . " his voice faded
off, and her name came out strangled as he became fiercer; Kikyou let out a
strangled moan.

"Scream for me," Inu Yasha growled out, the command harsh, loving and
intoxicating.  Kikyou felt the sensations rising with every word, every touch and
every stroke he directed toward her.

"Scream," the command was strangled, and as her world shattered Kikyou had no
other choice but to comply.  She screamed, her voice joined by Inu Yasha's in a
strange duet as he followed her over the edge that she willingly plummeted over,
pulling his hair as his claws grazed her skin.

* * *

Over an hour later, Kikyou was finally able to get enough time to herself to
dress the best she could.  Inu Yasha's attentions from the pervious evening had
destroyed a good portion of her miko robes.  Not that it wasn't anything that
couldn't be fixed later, but she had neither the time nor the tools to do so
available here.  She found herself laughing softly as she glanced over at Inu
Yasha as he sat on the other side of the cabin, staring at her sheepishly.

"Sorry," Inu Yasha said softly, almost so soft that Kikyou could hardly make it
out.

"What are you apologizing for?" Kikyou asked simply, her hands flipping her ebony
hair over her shoulders in a simple and effective motion.  She turned around to
face the half-dressed hanyou, who just stared up at her his expression
conflicted.

"You know damn well what I'm apologizing for, Kikyou!" he started, only to be
stopped when Kikyou gave into the ever present impulse to throw her arms around
him.

"Don't apologize," Kikyou whispered, "I enjoyed it, after all, I am a normal
woman." She said, almost wincing at the lie she ended the sentence with.  After
all, as long as the Shikon jewel existed she could never be a normal woman.  She
knew it, and she knew that Inu Yasha new as well; however for that single moment
as she embraced him in the cabin their hearts seemed to beat as one.  Both more
than willing to believe in the lie Kikyou spoke.  As his arms wound tightly
around her, Kikyou almost believed it to be true, a normal woman, somehow it
didn't seem like a distant far gone dream anymore.

"We really should get going," Inu Yasha's soft tone of voice broke Kikyou's
tenuous reprieve, and she pulled away from the embrace blushing and unable to
look him straight in the face despite the intimacy they had shared both this
morning and the night before.

Kikyou stepped away from Inu Yasha subconsciously placing the barrier of who they
were between them.  Kikyou found herself staring at the floor as she picked up
her bow and quiver.  Settling the latter over her shoulder she prepared herself
to leave the one place on earth where she had ever found happiness.  Without even
thinking her hand wondered to the Shikon jewel at her neck.

Turning to face Inu Yasha, Kikyou felt the mask she wore all her life slip easily
over her emotions, wants and needs, "Let's go," the words were simple and nothing
short of a command.

Inu Yasha recognized the pretense for what it was, and Kikyou could tell from
only a glance that the mask he wore all his life, the one that kept him alive
when everyone around him died, slipped quietly over him, making his eyes harsh
in the midmorning light.  Kikyou sighed, she wished that both of their masks
could fall permanently bringing a softness to his eyes and life into hers. 
Silently she vowed to find a way to make that possible, no matter what the cost.

Kikyou and Inu Yasha walked back toward the village as if nothing had changed. 
She, her feet firmly on the ground and he leaping from tree to tree high above
her.  The fallen snow was already dying in the morning's light, making the ground
beneath her feet wet and cold.  As they came to the rise that gave way to
Kikyou's village, she stopped and looked up at Inu Yasha.  The question in her
eyes apparent even from the distance that separated them.

"Will you come into the village with me?" Was the unspoken question and Kikyou
held her breath awaiting his silent answer.

From his post high above her he shook his head vehemently.  Kikyou's breath
released in discontented sigh.  Is it me he doesn't trust, or is it every one
else, she wondered, her thoughts almost bitter.  Inu Yasha didn't move from the
tree he stood atop of, he just stood there and watched her.  Waiting for her to
go ahead without him, assured of the fact that this close to the village there
wouldn't be any danger to protect her from.

Kikyou swallowed, holding back the tears that sprung to her eyes, stinging from
more then just the chill that still hung in the early morning air.  He didn't
trust her, was the first thought, he didn't trust her to keep him safe, the way
he watched over her.  The next moment she buried the thought, it wasn't her he
didn't trust, it was other humans.  It was that mistrust that kept him alive. 
It was that mistrust that made him every bit as lonely as she.

Kikyou steeled herself burying the emotions running through her deep inside, the
same place where she had learned to hide her heart, to hide her soul.  A deep
breath later and a single back glance to the trees, she walked forward.  She
walked towards the prison that masqueraded as her home.

"Onee-sama!" Kaede's voice rang out over the hill to be quickly followed by her
little sisters running and smiling body.  Kikyou smiled sadly, Kaede always
suffered greatly when Kikyou traveled, leaving her alone.  It would've been
different had their parents lived, but both had died long ago.  Kaede reached her
and threw her small arms around her beloved onee-sama.

"Onee-sama, I missed you so much!" Kaede said, snuggling as close as she could. 
Kikyou knelt down and hugged her little sister back, "Why do you have to go away
like that?" Kaede asked innocently looking up, her face a warm smile to contrast
with the sad one that seemed a fixture of Kikyou's face.

Kikyou stood up, and looked down at her little sister, smiling the best she
could, "I go away to keep you safe, Kaede.  You know that." 

Kaede eyed her older sister carefully, she could tell that there was something
different about her, "Onee-sama, what happened to your clothes?" She asked, with
the innocence that only a child could muster.

Kikyou was surprised to herself chuckle in return to her little sister's
question, "My job is dangerous, Kaede."  A half smile lit her face, "I was
attacked by a youkai." 

"Really?  They normally don't get that close to you Onee-sama," Kaede said, her
face curious and worried as she grabbed Kikyou's hand for the walk back to the
village proper.

Another sad smile crossed Kikyou's face, this one more so then most, "No, Kaede,
they normally don't get that close to me at all." 

"Was it really, really strong, Onee-sama?" Kaede asked her eye's wide.

No, not at all, Kikyou thought, after all, its only my heart he holds in his
hands.  She simply smiled down at Kaede and answered, "Betsuni."

Kaede looked up at Kikyou and smiled.  Kikyou knew that Kaede considered her to
be indestructible. 

"I'm glad, onee-sama," Kaede said, "Nothing can hurt you, ne?" 

"Ee," The simple answer ended the conversation as they reached the shrine. 
Kikyou gladly removed the Shikon jewel from around her neck and walked slowly
inside, leaving Kaede outside waiting patiently for her elder sister, just as she
always did.  Kikyou placed the jewel on the special holder that had been built
for it.  

She stepped away from the jewel for a moment, taking deep breaths in order to
calm herself.  Then unable to control herself any more she fell the floor
shaking, her body racked with sobs.  Kikyou cried there on the cold floor, alone. 

She mourned the loss of many things in front of the dias that damned jewel rested
on, as if nothing more than an innocent trinket.  The loss of her virtue, the
loss of her composure, the loss of everything she had thought herself to be.  As
her tears flowed freely the only thing she saw was his face.  Inu Yasha's face
smiling, Inu Yasha's face flushed with passion, Inu Yasha's face taking pleasure
in what she had freely given.

Kikyou pushed herself to her knees, her head down cast, her hands balled into
fists as she started to shake with anger instead of sorrow.  Not towards Inu
Yasha, the man she loved so dearly could do nothing wrong, no, her anger stabbed
deep into her own heart and toward the shining jewel that almost seemed to be
laughing at her.

Tears still flowing and staining her face Kikyou stared at the jewel with an
animosity she wasn't even aware she possessed, "Damn you," She whispered through
clenched teeth her volatile emotions having run the gauntlet to full fledged
rage, "I never wanted any part of this!  Damn you!"  

The jewel didn't respond.  It didn't have to, the light that danced around it did
that for it.  It seemed to laugh even louder, delighting in the misery so
apparent in the woman before it.

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS!!"

* * *

Outside of the shrine Kaede sat, waiting for her sister her feet swinging over
the stairs as she hummed a simple tune to herself.  Inside the shrine she assumed
her sister prayed, peacefully just as always.  After all, Kikyou-onee-sama
wouldn't allow herself to be hurt by anything or any one.  Kaede looked up at the
sky and smiled, spring was coming.


* * *

Author stuffs/the amazing foot notes of doom:
Well how's that for chapter three people?  You liked?  Please read and review!

Glossary of Japanese terms:
Betsuni: No, not really
Onee-sama: Older sister (extremely formal)
Ee: an informal way of saying yes (pronounced like a hard A) 

That should cover it, more wonderful story in the NEXT chapter. . .hehehe I'm
thinking this story is going to be about six or seven chapters. . .so I hope you
all enjoy it!  Remember to review *hint, hint.  Nudge, nudge*

Sephira jo-
Author, Lunatic, Onigiri