Title: An Evil Plan Gone Horribly Wrong
Author: Sephira jo (contact at: sephirajo@yahoo.com)
Archive: With permission only
Part: 2/??
Series: Rurouni Kenshin
Rating: R (For loads of innuendo and adult situations/language) But, once
again, later chapters may hit NC17 based on my mood.  (Note to FF.net users: 
If that happens I'll have edited versions of those chapters to post here.)
Genre: Romantic Comedy/Drama
Pairings: Kenshin/Kaoru, Sano/Megumi
Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin! *sob sob*

Author's Note: Well, I guess Diana owns this fic now . . . she's attached herself
to my computer and won't let go! *whips out the beating stick on Diana* So,
there's only one thing I can do!!  Fight her off with the beating stick while
trying to write this fic.  Hehehe.  Obsessive fans can be so much fun for stress
relief.  Sorry Di-chan. *THWACK* At least your glomping Battousai, so I can write
my fic. ^-^ Now, on to the ficcie goodness.

* * ^-^ * * 

Sanosuke.  Kaoru was staring at the bare chest of Sanosuke.  She screamed again. 
How the hell had she ended up in bed with Sano!  Sano grumbled and woke up just
as the shouji door to her room flew open with a bang.

"Kaoru-dono!  What happened . . . "  Kenshin's voice reached her ears and cut off
at what must have been an absolutely ludicrous sight.

"Ken-mph!"  Kaoru started, only to have her mouth covered by Sano's large hand.

"Sano, what's going on here!?"  Kenshin's voice came out shocked and confused 
and Kaoru wanted nothing more than to run into his arms, far, far away from the
ex-gangster.

"Exactly what it looks like," Sano said, trying not to flinch as Kaoru bit down
on his hand, "But you had to go and interrupt us."  He pulled Kaoru close against
his chest ignoring her obvious struggling as she wiggled against him,
incredulous.

Kenshin's face went stark white in an instant.  The same instant Kaoru realized
she wasn't in her sleeping robe.  In fact, she wasn't really wearing much of
anything.  She screamed again, the sound coming out muffled and distorted behind
Sano's hand.

"But . . . but the screaming . . . " Kenshin stuttered.

"Yeah, who would've guessed that she'd be a screamer," Sano snuggled closer and
Kaoru felt like she was going to vomit, "I guess you never got to find out, huh?"

Sanosuke moved in close and gave Kaoru a quick peck on the cheek, and she could
tell that he was, if possible, even more tense than she.  What the hell?  What
the hell is going on here!? Kaoru thought to herself, trying to call out Kenshin,
who, pale and shaking, backed slowly out of the room.  His eyes seemed to take
on an amber tinge, but that may just have been a trick of the light.

After the shouji door slid closed, Sano let go of Kaoru, who flopped back down
on the futon stunned.  Her head pounding, she tried to figure out what had just
happened here.  And more importantly, what had occurred for her to wake up mostly
naked with a man she would've strangled before she would even consider kissing.

"Well, Jou-chan, you almost blew that one big," Sano said, and Kaoru looked up
trying to focus her split vision on his face.  She was more confused than she had
ever been in her entire life.

"Blew what big?" She asked, dumbfounded.  She needed to know what the hell was
going on here.

"Don't you remember?  Our plan!!  You almost ruined it completely!" 

"WHAT PLAN!?" Kaoru screeched, her voice coming out harsher than usual as she
shot into a sitting position.  She remembered bits and pieces of a conversation
with the man next to her, but nothing else.

"Oh . . . " Sano said, as if understanding had all of a sudden hit him, "You're
that type of drunk."

Kaoru pressed her eyes closed, her fingers rubbing against her temples in a vain
attempt to alleviate the pain, "I drank?" She asked, half to herself, last night
was a multitude of images and impressions strung together and pulled through her
mind like an out-of-control children's toy.

Sano snorted, "Hell, Jou-chan, you almost drank more than I did!"  He stated, his
voice normal and Kaoru found herself wondering how he managed to down alcohol
like he did and wake up in the morning and do it again.  

Kaoru groaned, not wanting to think about it anymore, and cupped her head in her
hands, "What plan," She asked again, her voice more subdued than before.

Sano sat back, his stance relaxed.  It was only then Kaoru noticed that he too,
was mostly naked.  She fought down another urge to vomit.  Dear gods, she
thought, please, please let there be nothing bad that happened last night.

"Our plan to get you Kenshin and me Megumi," He paused, looking at Kaoru for any
sign of recognition who just stared at him blankly.  Sano shook his head and
continued, "That we'd pretend we'd like each other to get them to like us,"
another pause, another blank stare.  Sano gave Kaoru one of the strangest looks
she had ever gotten from him.

"You really don't remember any of this, do you Jou-chan," it was a statement, not
a question.

Kaoru shook her head, "I don't see how you can either, if you drank more than I
did."

Sano shot her another odd look, one that told her he thought she obviously had
no idea what she was talking about, "I just do," He said, "I hardly ever forget
anything, even when I'm drunk."

"So," Kaoru started, not quite believing what she was saying, "You.  And I. 
Somehow decided to pretend that we liked each other for me to get Kenshin and you
to end up with Megumi?  And tell me Sano . . . how the HELL is this supposed to
work?"

"Well, Kenshin will get jealous and hang all over you and then Megumi . . . " his
voice trailed off and he flinched, "You know, this plan made a lot more sense
when we were drunk . . . "

Kaoru stared at Sano dryly and asked, "So how did I end up mostly naked?"

Sano flinched again, "Well, after you passed out, I was thinking it might look
more convincing if we were kinda, I don't know, not dressed as much." He finished
lamely.

Kaoru was shaking.  She was angry in general and more than a little pissed at
Sanosuke.  Needing to vent her rage before moving on to other topics, like how
they were going to fix this mess, Kaoru balled her hand into a fist and, acting
on instinct, punched Sano in the face.  Hard.

The ex-gangster fell backwards, hitting the floor with a hollow thud and Kaoru
shook her fist to work off the tension of the blow.  She felt a little better
now, a little less homicidal toward the man next to her.  As long as nothing had
happened they should be able to fix this.

* * *

Sano looked up at the ceiling his face stinging from the blow Jou-chan had
inflicted.  He finally understood how she had been able to floor Kenshin so many
times before.  Here he had always thought it was some sort of concession that the
ex-assassin allowed her, but now it was obvious that it was her brute force.  And
Damn, it stung.

Okay, he thought, maybe I DID deserve that.  And maybe it hadn't been such a good
idea to talk about their respective relationships while drunk.  And this plan,
which had made so much sense from an intoxicated point of view, suddenly seemed
obscenely idiotic.  He shook his head clear, the lack of a hangover something
that came from years of liquor induced sleep and sat up.

As he sat up, Kaoru shot him another black look, and Sanosuke had to fight the
urge just to get up and walk away, leaving her there to hang and deal with this
mess on her own.  But, with Kenshin finding them like this, a considerable amount
of damage had been done.

Mentally slapping himself the whole time, Sano spoke up, "Listen Jou-chan, I know
you don't like this idea, but now we don't really have much choice.  If we back
out now, then what, have it look like you had a one-night-stand with me for no
apparent reason?"

Kaoru looked confused, "What's a one-night-stand?" She asked.

It was Sanosuke's turn for a dry look.  Exactly how much did Kaoru not know about
relationships, and sex in particular?  She couldn't be that ignorant to react the
way she had to waking up in the way they had.

"Nevermind," He said under his breath, "You don't want to know."

"But –" 

"Trust me.  You don't want to know." Sano said, cutting her off before he'd be
forced to explain what Kenshin obviously thought had happened.

"The point is, we have to go through with the plan now," He finished, his head
flopped down in his hands.  Good gods, he had no idea how the hell they were
supposed to fix this.  And it was only a matter of time before Megumi would find
out, and it was anyone's guess how the fox woman would react.

Kaoru looked crestfallen as she stared back at him, "Do we have to?"  She asked,
what she thought of him apparent in her stare.

NO!  Was his first screaming thought.  After all, he found her about as
attractive as being beat on by Saitou or Kenshin or any of the other opponents
he had faced.  This was going to be hard. No, it was going to be damn near
impossible.  He gritted his teeth, "Yes, we do."

"Sano."

"Yes?"

"I hate you."

"I know."

"When this is over, I'm going to kill you."

"I can accept that."

"If we can't fix this, I'm going to kill you even worse."

"That's fair."

"How do we fix this?"

* * *

Kenshin threw himself into his chores, the need to work off the boiling rage and
jealousy growing inside him overpowering.  He even did the laundry violently, and
probably the fastest he had ever done it before, the events of this morning
egging him on.  If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he would've never
believed it true.

Kaoru.  His Kaoru.  Half-undressed and disheveled (gods, she was beautiful) and
in bed with the man who had set himself up as his best friend, and even more, a
brother to Kaoru.  He fought back a litany of curses.  Part of him blamed himself
for this, after all, he had never said a word to Kaoru about how he felt about
her.  The reasoning behind that coming from the very real fear of losing her the
way he had lost his wife.  But he had been sure, so sure that she returned his
feelings that the only reason his mind could come up with for what had happened
today was that she had gotten tired of waiting.

He swore aloud, this time not holding it back.  He stared at the floor he had
been cleaning, the rag in his hand not moving.  Something nagged at him;
something about this just wasn't right.  But he couldn't put his finger on it. 
At least not with his brain teasing him with images of Kaoru and Sano engaged in
activities of a certain nature.  For the first time in his life Kenshin was
sorely tempted to murder a man for his own reasons, and not for any political or
ethical vendetta.

Kenshin gritted his teeth and shook his head, that wasn't right.  All that should
matter was that Kaoru was happy right?  Right?  But, she hadn't looked happy. 
Despite all of Sanosuke's bragging she had looked more horrified than anything
else.  And hadn't there been containers of Sake scattered around her room? 
Kenshin's eyes took on a dangerous glint as his mind pieced together what he had
seen that morning.

Kaoru, half-naked, looking terrified.  Sano, the same way, looking smug.  Empty
containers of liquor strewn around the floor.  Kaoru's screams, which didn't
sound like those of a passionate lover.  Kenshin's eyes narrowed, he had let the
younger man get away with a lot in their time together, but the line had to be
drawn somewhere.  Gambling, drinking and fights were one thing, but this was
another thing completely.  Taking advantage of a drunk and inexperienced Kaoru
was something Kenshin could not, and would not, forgive.  After he was done with
Sanosuke all the sake in the world wouldn't dull the pain of the wounds Kenshin
planned to inflict.

Kenshin saw the younger man leave the dojo.  He got up to follow, fully intending
to beat Sano to a bloody pulp right outside the gates.  Yahiko's voice stopped
him just as he reached the gates.

"Hey, Kenshin!  What's for breakfast, I'm starving!"  Yahiko's voice rang out,
both demanding and curious.

Kenshin took a deep breath and turned around, burying his anger under the
rurouni-act that he had perfected in ten years of wandering, "This unworthy one
almost forgot about breakfast, that I did."

"How can you forget about breakfast?"  Yahiko asked, coming to a stop next to
him.

"My mind was on other things, that it was."  Kenshin replied, softly, so softly
that the boy next to him almost didn't hear him.

"What's more important then breakfast?" 

Kenshin just shook his head then turned around and headed to the kitchen.  Yahiko
jumped around, emoting his joy at not having to eat one of Kaoru's special
breakfasts.  Kenshin sighed, he'd settle things with Sano later, that he would.

* * *

After Sanosuke left, Kaoru started blankly at the wall, wondering how everything
was going to work out.  She felt she had been backed into a trap with no way out. 
Feeling defeated without quite knowing why, Kaoru sighed, and dressed in her
practice clothes, then cleaned up her room, removing the empty sake gourds and
cleaning the mess of blankets the morning left behind.

Kaoru didn't know what to do.  She was stuck in this stupid plan that she never
remembered agreeing to in the first place, and now Kenshin thought . . . Kaoru
flinched, she didn't want to know what Kenshin thought of her now.  What had
happened and what it looked like were two different things.

Kaoru sat down, and curled into a tight ball, hugging her knees close to her
chest.  Pretend she liked Sanosuke, huh?  Get Kenshin jealous, huh?  This plan
made no sense, but maybe it could work.  She had to try to salvage the damage
done by this morning.  Sanosuke had told her she had to at least try to make it
convincing.  But how she would do that, Kaoru had no idea.

The shouji door slid open and Kaoru looked up, half-afraid that Kenshin would be
there.  It wasn't him.  Yahiko stood in the door way, looking down at her, a
queer look on his face.

"Hey Ugly, breakfast is ready."

Kaoru stood up, feeling slightly dizzy and still sick to the stomach.  If this
was always the aftermath, she would never drink again, "Why didn't Kenshin come
to tell me?"  She asked, her tone softer than usual.

"Why the hell should I know," Yahiko started, sounding irked, "He's been acting
weird all morning, he almost forgot to make breakfast.  If I hadn't reminded him,
we'd be eating your cooking right now," The young man shuddered at what he
obviously thought was a fate worse than death.  It was obvious the taunt was
meant to draw out a violent reaction from Kaoru, but today, she just didn't care.

Kaoru walked listlessly past a very confused, and now throughly worried Yahiko. 
Kaoru stared at her feet the whole walk kitchen.  She didn't know if she wanted
to see Kenshin just yet, but the near violent protests that her stomach made
insisted she at least attempt to eat.

Kaoru opened the door to the kitchen, the smell of food calling out to her.  She
slid the door opened, and without looking up, walked in blindly.  And ran into
something hard.

Kaoru stopped and looked up, not wanting to look up, but unable to help herself. 
It figured that she'd, literally, run into Kenshin.  Kaoru stared at his chest,
unable to meet his eyes.  She could tell, even from only looking at his chest,
well-muscled chest, that he was tense.

"Morning . . . " Kaoru mumbled, still not meeting his eyes.

"Kaoru-dono," He returned simply.

My, what a handsome chest he has . . . Kaoru thought, absently twining her hair
through her fingers, not letting her gaze stray any farther.

"Did you sleep well last night, Kaoru-dono?"  The question seemed forced, and
Kaoru's gaze dropped back to the floor.  Wow, Kenshin's feet were so much bigger
than hers.  She mumbled an answer and walked around him, still staring at the
floor.  Not looking where she was going, she tripped over a bucket that had been
carelessly left on the floor.  Kaoru fell forward, watching the floor fly closer
with a morbid curiosity.  Strong arms stopped the wild approach of the wooden
floor, turning her around and drawing her in close.  Keeping her safe.

Kaoru clutched at Kenshin's gi, unable to stop her shaking.  Wether it was
another symptom of her hangover or a result of the stressful situation she found
herself in when she had awakened, she didn't know.  Nor did she care at that
moment, especially when Kenshin's arms pulled her in closer.  Kaoru welcomed the
embrace and buried her face in his chest, all of a sudden fighting down the urge
to sob uncontrollably.

"It's okay, Kaoru-dono, that it is," Kenshin's soft voice opened a flood gate in
Kaoru and the tears came pouring out.  Here, with Kenshin, she was convinced
everything would be okay.  She wouldn't have to be a part of Sano's ludicrous
plan.  Kenshin understood . . . it was all okay now.  But for some reason, she
couldn't stop crying.

* * *

Megumi sat in the office of the small clinic, going over paperwork.  At this time
in the morning, there were few patients that needed her attention, giving her a
chance to catch up on all the work she was behind on from previous days.  Not
only did she have her own to take care of, but more often than not, Dr. Genzai
left his for her to take care of as well, saying that it allowed him more time
to spend with his patients.  Megumi snorted, left him more time to play with his
grandchildren maybe, leaving her buried in paperwork with no time to herself.

Megumi heard the door to the clinic bang open and she sighed.  It began.  Though
she truly loved being a doctor, some days she wished she could have just a little
more time to herself.  Or a little more time she could spend provoking Sanosuke,
that man was so dense that it was amusing.  Not to mention attractive, though she
flinched at that thought.  Megumi had suffered through too many bad relationships
to want the playful banter she shared with Sano to become a bad relationship that
would just end up hurting her again.

"Hey Megumi!" Sano's voice carried into the small office, and Megumi looked up
from her paperwork, keeping the look on her face dry.  Speak of the devil, she
thought.  So it began.

"Isn't it a little early for you to be injured from fighting, Sano?"  Megumi
asked, making a point to not look at him as she spoke.

Sano just laughed, and sauntered over, placing his hands on the desk (and over
her paperwork) leaning over.  Megumi looked up, trying her best to look annoyed,
even though she was more amused than anything else.

"I've just come to tell you that your troubles are over, Megumi."

"Oh, really?"

"From this day on, you won't have to worry about me at all."

"Is that so. . ."

"‘Cause, as of today, I'm forgetting about you."

"Uh huh . . . "  Yeah, whatever, Megumi thought, like they hadn't had this
conversation before.  Every other week or so he claimed some other girl she'd
never heard of was the new unquestioned love of his life, and the next week he'd
be back, trying to get her attention again.  Idly Megumi wondered who the unlucky
girl was this time.

"I've found a better woman elsewhere."

"Really . . . "

"And her name is . . . "  This was the part she loved, where he would throw out
some name off the top of his head, obviously just made up for the expressed
purpose of trying to provoke her jealousy.  It was cute, in a juvenile sort of
way, " . . . Kamiya Kaoru."

Megumi's jaw dropped.  For the first time she could recall she just stared at him
blankly.  He was kidding; this was some kind of horrible, sick joke.  She hadn't
heard right.  She couldn't have. "Excuse me?" She asked, unable to help the shock
that worked its way into her voice.

"You heard me," He said simply, an arrogant grin spreading across his face, "Jou-
chan beat you to me."

"You're joking."

"‘Fraid not, Fox.  You blew it this time," He made a motion with his hand as he
grinned down at her, "Lost your chance completely."  Getting up, he started to
walk out of her office, waving over his shoulder, "Good bye, Megumi." 

Megumi just started after him shocked for a moment, and then her eyes narrowed. 
So, he thought he could just pull this type of sick joke on her for his
amusement, did he?  In that moment she was sure that it was all a ruse.  And for
some reason he had thought to drag Kaoru down with him.  Ooh, Kenshin must be
loving this.

Megumi clenched her fist, then she smiled.  The light in her eyes glinted
dangerously in the light of her office with the same type of gaze that had earned
her the nickname of ‘Fox' so long ago.  So, Sano wanted to play this game, did
he?  Well, two could play this game.  Megumi knew she could play even better the
Sanosuke ever could; she fully intended to win this little game.

Megumi stood to leave.  Dr. Genzai could handle what ever work came in today. 
She had to make a ‘house-call'.  Grinning evilly, Megumi left the office.  Today
is going to be a wickedly fun day, she thought, as she headed toward the Kamiya
dojo in search of her prey.  Ken-san, she thought, I hope you're in the mood to
play.

* * ^-~ * *