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 Archive name: Hairy Peeter and the Philosopher's bone - Chapter 4.txt
Authors name: SensualKink (senskin@gmail.com) Story Title: HP 1 - Ch 4

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------------------------------------------------------------ Hairy Peeter
and the Philosopher's Bone - Chapter 4 (ped, inc, cons, size, cum eating)
By SensualKink (senskin@gmail.com)



   Chapter Four - The Keeper of the Keys

   BOOM.  They knocked again.  Didley jerked awake.  "I can swallow it all,
I promise!" he said stupidly.

   There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vermon came skidding into the
room naked.  He was holding a rifle in his hands -- now they knew what had
been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.

   "Who's there?" he shouted.  "I warn you -- I'm armed!"

   There was a pause.  Then -

   SMASH!

   The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and
with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.

   A giant of a man was standing in the doorway.  His face was almost
completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled nest
of pubic hair framed his gigantic cock.  But you could make out his eyes,
glinting like black beetles under all the hair.

   The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just
brushed the ceiling.  He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it
easily back into its frame.  The noise of the storm outside dropped a
little.  He turned to look at them all and lifted his huge penis in his
huge hand.

   "Couldn't give us a blowjob, could yeh?  It's not been an easy
journey..."

   He strode over to the sofa where Didley sat frozen with fear and looked
down, stroking his impossibly huge cock.

   "Budge up, yeh great lump a'shit," said the stranger.

   Didley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching,
mesmerized by the giant's penis, behind Uncle Vermon.

   "An' here's Hairy!" said the giant.

   Hairy looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the
beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile and the giant's huge cock began to
fill with blood and stand out from his torso on its own.

   "Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant.  "Yeh look a
lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mom's eyes."

   Uncle Vermon made a funny whimpering noise.

   "I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said.  "You are breaking and
entering!"

   "Ah, shut the fuck up, Droolsley, yeh great turd," said the giant; he
reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vermon's
hands, roughly bent him over and shoved the barrel up his fat ass.  "Don't
fucking move!"

   Uncle Vermon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.

   "Anyway -- Hairy," said the giant, turning his back on the Droolsleys,
"a very happy birthday to yeh.  Got summat fer yeh here -- I mighta sat on
it at some point, but it'll taste all right."

   From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly
squashed box.  Hairy opened it with trembling fingers.  Inside was a large,
sticky chocolate cake with Happy Birthday Hairy written on it in what
appeared to be goopy semen.

   Hairy looked up at the giant.  He meant to say thank you, but the words
got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are
you?"

   The giant chuckled.

   "True, I haven't introduced meself.  Rubbery Hogrod, Keeper of Keys and
Grounds at Hogfarts."

   He held out an enormous hand and shook Hairy's whole arm.  Then he
whipped Hairy's pajama bottoms down with one finger and played with his
long, dangling penis for a moment.

   "What about that blowjob then, eh?" he said, stroking his hands up and
down his gigantic cock.  "I'd not say no ter some Muffle pussy if yeh've
got a mind."

   Peetuna immediately crawled across the floor, panting and whimpering
like she'd lost her mind.  "So big..." she kept whispering as she ensconced
herself between Hogrod's giant, hairy thighs.  Her pretty mouth was in an
"O" and she rubbed her thighs through her sheer nightie, eyes dancing at
the gigantic prick that stood before her.

   His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and
he snorted.  He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was
doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there
and flames momentarily licked the veiny length of his enormous cock.  It
filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Hairy felt the warmth
wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath.

   Hairy's own cock was beginning to stiffen at the sight of his aunt's
sexy ass squashed beneath her as she knelt expectantly.  Hogrod motioned
her forward and she emitted a nervous laugh and threw herself at his cock.
She embraced it, running her shaking hands all over its length and showered
his glans with tender kisses.  "It's so big!" she giggled in a quavering
voice.  "I wish I could suck it for you!"

   "That can be arranged," the giant said as he sat back down on the sofa,
which sagged under his weight.  He began taking all sorts of things out of
the pockets of his coat: a copper dildo, a squashy package of sausages, a
sybian, a piss pot, several chipped porcelain cock rings, and a bottle of
some amber liquid that he took a swig from before directing Didley to cook
up some tea and sausages on the fire.  He then seemed to remember something
and reached into the leather constraint that held his nut sack.  He whipped
out a tiny wand allowing his cantaloupe-sized balls to spill out and bounce
before Peetuna's sparkling eyes.

   Peetuna squealed with delight, hefting one of his hairy balls in both
hands.  "Ooooo!  I'll bet these make a big load, don't' they?" she cooed,
bending to kiss and lick all over his testicals.  Soon the hut was full of
the sound and smell of sizzling sausage over top of the sounds of Peetuna
worshipping the biggest cock and balls she'd ever seen.  Hogrod made Didley
pull his pants down while he worked, and Hairy noticed that his cousin's
fat, smooth ass made his cock throb.

   Peetuna whipped her nightie off and clamped her arms around Hogrod's
huge penis, rubbing her pussy over his huge balls, bobbing up and down. 
She was in heaven, ignoring the blustering scowls Vermon threw over his
shoulder.  "I wish I could suck it!" she sighed, swiveling her tight ass
around and French kissing his leaking piss hole.  A huge dollop of pre-cum
emerged, completely coating her lower face.  Hairy's big cock jumped at the
sight of his aunt's asshole winking as she slurped and lapped up Hogrod's
juices and it obviously made her cum.

   Hogrod tapped Peetuna on the head with his wand, then reached down and -
despite her protests - forced her mouth over the tip of his huge penis.  To
everyone's surprise, Peetuna's jaws suddenly extended and she emitted
muffled cries of alarm as Hogrod's giant head disappeared in her mouth. 
Hairy stood in shock as his aunt's throat expanded and the stranger's huge
cock slid down her throat.  "Useful spell that," he chuckled, pushing the
back of Peetuna's head until his enormous prick had disappeared down her
gullet.

   Nobody said a thing while this was happening and soon Peetuna's eyelids
fluttered and she began to moan with pleasure.  She braced herself on his
knees, her sexy ass jutting out behind her and her spread legs giving Hairy
a lovely view of her dripping vulva.  Her bowed legs framed Hogrod's huge
testicals as she started to move her expanded anatomy up and down his
impossibly large cock.  She reached down to smooth and caress his big
balls, her distorted face making her look like a bullfrog.

   As this was happening, Didley slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly
burnt sausages from the poker and eyed them hungrily.  Uncle Vermon said
sharply, "Don't eat those, Didley."

   The giant chuckled darkly.

   "Yet great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Droolsley, don'
worry.  Yeh shut your hole or I'll use his fat ass instead of yer wife's
throat."

   He grabbed the poker and passed the sausages to Hairy, who was so hungry
he had never tasted anything so wonderful, but he still couldn't take his
eyes off the giant and his aunt's pulsing asshole.  Finally, as nobody
seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't
really know who the fuck you are."

   The giant pulled Peetuna off his cock and grunted, spilling a huge
dollop of sticky pre-cum between her eyes.  He used his huge rubbery head
to rub it all over her face and Hairy found the sight of the tender skin
around his giant piss hole quite arousing.  Peetuna giggled and reveled in
the sticky juice that coated her face and even oozed back into her hair
before clamping her gigantic mouth around his cock and resuming her
blowjob.

   The giant saw Hairy eyeing his aunt's firm ass and splayed vulva.  He
grinned when he saw Hairy's huge cock standing out in front of him,
throbbing.  "'Ere, you ever get summat yer auntie's cunt?" he asked,
nodding toward Peetuna's jutting rearend.

   Hairy started to admit he had once, then thought better of it when he
realized Vermon and Didley were listening.  He glanced at his uncle's
rifle-lanced ass and shook his head no quickly.

   Hogrod winked at him and raised his voice, "Well, then, as befits a boy
of your station..." He reached forward and used two huge fingers to pull
Peetuna's butt cheeks apart.  "...pick a hole Hair m'boy!"

   At first Hairy balked, but then he realized that Vermon could do nothing
against him with this giant in the room.  And the thought of fucking
Peetuna while Didley watched was too great a temptation.  Munching sausages
thoughtfully, Hairy walked forward, heart racing as his leaking head poked
up against Peetuna's soft ass cheek.

   She mumbled something deep in her bullfrog's throat and to Hairy it
looked like she was swiveling her hips and working her anal sphincter in a
way that invited him to proceed.

   Hogrod chuckled, "It's ter be the poop chute is it?" He laid a huge
fingertip in the little indentation above her ass crack and Hairy saw a
spark fly.  Peetuna jumped and made all kinds of noises seeming to protest,
but Hogrod just pulled the back of her head forward and made sure she was
completely lanced on his cock.

   Before Hairy's eyes, Peetuna's asshole widened until Hairy was looking
into the wet pink depths of her rectum.  It was beautiful and he was eager
to finally be the one fucking ass instead of receiving it.  Without further
adieu, he pressed his fat head to her anus and pushed forward.  Peetuna
again seemed to protest but Hogrod kept his cock buried in her throat and
his prodigious pubic bush muffled her nose-breathing and cries.

   As Hairy's huge cock sank slowly into her tight, warm depths, Peetuna's
sphincter began to pulse, pinching the length of his cock as it disappeared
into her shit tube.  Then she shuddered in that characteristic way and
Hairy knew she was cumming.  He eagerly grabbed hold of her firm, round ass
cheeks and thrust forward, groaning at how good it felt to be completely
sheathed in his aunt's tight asshole.  Knowing she was enjoying it, Hairy
began to fuck Peetuna's ass, relishing every smell, sound and sensation.

   "Call me Hogrod," the giant said, setting up a rhythm that matched
Hairy's, so they were sliding her back and forth on a spit made of their
cocks.  "Everyone does.  An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at
Hogfarts -- yeh'll know all about Hogfarts, o' course."

   "Er -- no," said Hairy, thrusting with vigor each time his aunt's sweet
ass moved back toward him.

   Hogrod looked shocked and emitted an enormous fart that shook the entire
room.

   "Sorry," Hairy said quickly, pausing with his long cock buried deep
inside his wicked aunt.

   "Sorry?" barked Hogrod, glaring around at each of the Droolsleys.  "It's
them as should be sorry!  I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I
never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogfarts, fer cryin' out loud!
Did yeh never wonder where yet parents learned it all?"

   "All what?" asked Hairy, using his whole body to thrust into the soft,
tight depths of Peetuna's quivering asshole.

   "ALL WHAT?" Hogrod thundered.  "Now wait jus' one second!"

   He had leapt to his feet.  In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut.
Peetuna slid her arms around his huge, swinging scrotum and continued to
ram her oversized mouth up and down his cock.  Vermon quivered in the
corner, the rifle shaking ominously.  Didley dove into a corner with his
fat, round ass in the air and whimpered.  Hairy was pushed backward, but
kept a firm grip on Peetuna's slender waist and kept thrusting for all he
was worth.  This might never happen again.

   "Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Droolsleys, "that this boy
-- this boy!  -- knows nothin' abou' -- about ANYTHING?"

   Hairy thought this was going a bit far.  He had been to school, after
all, and he'd recently fucked his aunt.

   "I know some things," he said.  "I can, you know, deep throat and take
it up the ass pretty well." But Hogrod simply waved his hand and said,
"About our world, I mean.  Your world.  My world.  Yer parents' world."

   "What world?"

   Hogrod looked as if he was about to explode.  Peetuna's feet left the
floor and she giggled deep in her throat as she hung above the floor and
slid back and forth on their cocks like a pig on a spit.  Hairy's eyes grew
wide as Hogrod's cock expanded bulging Peetuna's throat even further.

   "DROOSLEY!" he boomed.

   Uncle Vermon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded
like "Mimblewimble." Hogrod stared wildly at Hairy, gripping Peetuna's head
between two fingers and ramming his cock in and out of her.  Hairy could
feel her asshole clenching and milking his cock.  The giant was getting
ready to cum and so was Hairy.

   The little hut shook as Hogrod's enormous prick lurched and he cried out
in pleasure.  "Take that ye Muffle bitch!" Suddenly, thick white goo
exploded from Peetuna's nose.  Her throat looked like a snake digesting an
entire animal in fast motion as Hogrod's mighty cock pulsed and delivered
huge amounts of semen into her gullet.  So much semen that it came
cascading out of her lips around his shaft, spraying in great fans each
time he squirt.

   Hairy was helpless against this erotic sight and against the clenching
sphincter that gripped his cock.  He squeezed his aunt's precious as cheeks
and growled, exploding his own copious load of hot cream deep into her
bowels.  Peetuna's emitted long, bubbling moans through her nose as
lurching cocks filled her with gallons of steaming ball goo.

   Though nothing so large as Hogrod's firehose, Hairy's pent up
frustration and lust manifested as an enormous load of hot cum that also
exploded outward around his fat cock.  Torrents of thick creamy cum
splurted around his mighty shaft and splattered his torso, running in
rivers over her jiggling ass cheeks and spasming pussy.

   After a full minute, both cocks finally subsided.  Hairy would forever
remember that moment.  The sound of thick cum splatting to the wood floor
and exploding from Peetuna's quivering asshole with thick farting noises
was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.  He stroked his big cock in
her cum-slick shit tube and groaned with pleasure.

   Hogrod belched and pulled Peetuna off his giant cock.  A river of thick,
white goo poured from her oversized jowls before she quickly returned to
normal.  With a cry of lust she embraced his slime-covered tree trunk,
thick gobbets of cum oozing over his impossibly huge girth, spilling over
her tear-filled face as she slurped and sucked up mouthfuls of slimy goo.

   "But yeh must know about yet mom and dad," he said.  "I mean, they're
famous.  You're famous."

   "What?  My -- my mom and dad weren't famous, were they?"

   "Yeh don' know...  yeh don' know..." Hogrod ran his fingers through
Peetuna's hair, combing quarts of semen through it, fixing Hairy with a
bewildered stare.

   "Yeh don' know what yeh are?" he said finally, pushing Peetuna down to
lick his gigantic testicals clean.

   Uncle Vermon suddenly found his voice.  He hobbled to face them, the
rifle wagging around madly as it protruded from his jello-like ass.

   "Stop!" he commanded.  "Stop right there, sit!  I forbid you to tell the
boy anything!"

   A braver man than Vermon Droolsley would have quailed under the furious
look Hogrod now gave him; when Hogrod spoke, his deflating cock trembled
with rage, arcing in a beautiful curve above Peetuna's head.

   "You never told him?  Never told him what was in the letter Dribbledong
left fer him?  I was there!  I saw Dribbledong leave it, Droolsley!  An'
you've kept it from him all these years?"

   "Kept what from me?" said Hairy, eagerly pulling his cock out of
Peetuna's gaping asshole and playing his spent penis in the gushing flow of
cream that erupted from her glistening pink hole.

   "STOP!  I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vermon in panic.  Diarrhea exploded
from his ass, the rifle popped out of his ass and the gun went off with a
deafening boom.

   Aunt Peetuna gave a gasp of horror and began to piss herself.  Hairy
giggled and let the steaming piss run all over his dirty penis.

   "Ah, go boil yer heads, both of `em," said Hogrod.  "Hairy -- yer a
jizzard."

   There was silence inside the hut.  Only the sea, the whistling wind, and
the patter of Peetuna's hot piss could be heard.

   "-- a what?" gasped Hairy, playing his spongey head in Peetuna's splayed
pink lips as torrents of hot yellow piss bathed his cock and aroused him
all over again.

   "A jizzard, o' course," said Hogrod, sitting back down on the sofa,
which groaned and sank even lower.  A huge dollop of white glistening cum
oozed from the end of his cock and hung above his aunt's slender back. 
Hairy found himself wondering... "An' a fuckin' good'un, I'd say, once
yeh've been trained up a bit.  With a mum an' dad like yours, what else
would yeh be?  An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."

   Hairy stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope,
addressed in emerald green to Mr.  H.  Peeter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock,
The Sea.  He pulled out the letter and read:

   HOGFARTS SCHOOL of BITCHCRAFT and JIZZARDRY

   Headmaster: ANUS DRIBBLEDONG

   (Order of Merloin, Fist Class, Grand Porc., Chf.  Whorelock, Supreme
Mugwump, International Confed.  of Jizzards)

   Dear Mr.  Peeter,

   We are titillated to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogfarts
School of Bitchcraft and Jizzardry.  Please find enclosed a list of all
necessary books and sexual equipment.

   Term begins on September 1.  We await your owl by no later than July 31.


   Yours seductively,

   Mynerva McGulpitall,

   Deputy Head Mistress

   Questions exploded inside Hairy's head like an ejaculating penis and he
couldn't decide which to ask first.  After a few minutes he stammered,
"What the fuck does it mean, they await my owl?"

   "Gropin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hogrod, clapping a hand to his
forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse.  From yet another
pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl -- a real, live, rather
ruffled-looking owl with huge female genitalia -- a long quill, and a roll
of parchment.  With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that
Hairy could read upside down:

   Dear Sexy Professor Dribbledong,

   Given Hairy his letter and bonded gangbanging his Muffle aunt.

   Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.

   Weather's horrible but McGulpitall's spell worked a treat.  Hope you're
dick is wet.

   Hogrod

   Hogrod rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which tucked it in its
huge wet vulva.  He stood up much to Peetuna's dismay, went to the door,
and threw the owl out into the storm.  Then he came back, sat down and
shoved his huge genitals in her face again as though this was as normal as
talking on the telephone.

   Hairy realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.

   "Where was I?" said Hogrod, but at that moment, Uncle Vermon, still
spurting diarrhea loudly but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.

   "He's not going," he said.

   Hogrod grunted and a reverberating fart made his balls tumble about as
Peetuna was lapping and slurping up long streamers of jelly-like sperm.

   "I'd like ter see a great Muffle like you stop him," he said, crushing
Peetuna's protesting face into his soft scrotum as the sour stench of his
fart enveloped her.

   "A what?" said Hairy, interested.  He was seriously toying with the idea
of fucking Peetuna's pink pussy as her piss now only came in short squirts
and the feeling of her hot liquids splattering and cascading over his cock
got him hard again.

   "A Muffle," said Hogrod, "it's what we call non-magic fuckers like them.
An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muffles I
ever laid eyes on." Her grabbed Peetuna's cum-caked bangs and jerked her
head up so the pink eye of his penis was right at the tip of her pointy
nose.  Then he unleashed a huge torrent of white piss right in her face.

   "We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that bullshit," said
Uncle Vermon, "swore we'd rape it out of him!  Jizzard indeed!"

   "You knew?" said Hairy.  "You knew I'm a -- a jizzard?" He used the
distraction Hogrod's golden shower was causing to deftly slip his cock head
between Peetuna's dripping lips.  He was also somewhat angry and it gave
him courage.

   "Knew!" shrieked Aunt Peetuna suddenly, gushing piss washing over her
face and making half her words sound like she was gargling.  "Knew!  Of
course we knew!  How could you not be, my fucking sister being what she
was?" She paused between each sentences to swallow piss and sputter in
disbelief.  "Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to
that-that fucking school-and came home every vacation with her pussy full
of jizzard cum, turning teacups into testicals.  Always getting the
biggest, juiciest cocks for herself with her little magical sex tricks!  I
was the only one who saw her for what she was -- a freak!  But for my
mother and father, oh no, it was Loli this and Loli that, always having sex
with her and not even hiding it, they were proud of having a magical slut
in the family!"

   She stopped to draw a deep breath, bending her head down so the
waterfall of piss soaked the back of her head and washed huge gobbets of
sperm away.  Then she went ranting and gurgling on.  It seemed she had been
wanting to say all this for years.

   "Then she met that Peeter at school and they fucked like rabbits and got
married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as
strange, just as -- as -- abnormal -- and then, if you please, she went and
got herself blown up and we got landed with you!"

   Hairy had gone very white.  His head popped between his aunt's creamy
lips.  As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up?  You told me they
died in a car crash!"

   "CAR CRASH!" roared Hogrod, jumping up so angrily that Vermon and Didley
scuttled back to their corners.  His giant cock still gushed white hot piss
down onto Peetuna's gulping face, hair and slender, sexy back.  "How could
a car crash kill Loli an' Jism Peeter?  It's a fuckin outrage!  A goddamned
scandal!  Hairy Peeter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our
world knows his name!"

   "But why?  What happened?" Hairy asked, urgently pushing his cock
further into the velvety depths of his aunt's beautiful pussy.

   The anger faded from Hogrod's face.  He looked suddenly anxious, the
flow of piss from his cock abating.

   "I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice.  "I had no
idea, when Dribbledong told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh,
how much yeh didn't know.  Ah, Hairy, I don' know if I'm the right person
ter tell yeh -- but someone's gotta -- yeh can't go off ter Hogfarts not
knowin'."

   He threw dirty looks at the Droolsleys and grabbed Peetuna's bangs
again. She emitted muffled protests as he pressed his pisshole to her mouth
like they were French kissing.  Hairy's cock throbbed with lust as he
watched the giant's belly spasm with each gush of remaining piss.  Each
torrent bulged Peetuna's cheeks then exploded around her face in a white
hot spray.  The sound of her gulping as much down as she could made Hairy's
balls tingle and he lunged deep into her cunt.

   "Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh -- mind, I can't
tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it...."

   He sat down and Peetuna collapsed to the floor exhausted.  But, she
still managed to tongue and kiss the puckered flesh of his enormous piss
hole, moaning and slurping up every last drop of pee as it emerged.  Hogrod
stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I
suppose, with -- with a person called -- but it's incredible yeh don't know
his name, everyone in our world knows --"

   "Who?" Hairy asked, gripping his aunt's cum- and pee-stained ass cheeks,
thrusting his huge cock into her delicious pussy, heart hammering as he
noticed Didley's shocked face watching him from the corner.

   "Well -- I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it.  No one does."
Peetuna turned her wrecked visage to look back at Hairy as he pounded her
cunt.  She emitted a wet fart and Hairy's cock throbbed deep inside her as
cum and ass juices splurted out of her pretty pink sphincter and ran over
his rigid cock.

   "Why not?" he asked, smacking Peetuna's ass, remembering all the times
she had done it to him.  Her mascara was running and her face was a mask of
glistening pee and leftover gobbets of giant sperm.  She looked
devastatingly beautiful, the more so because he could see in her fluttering
eyes how much pleasure she was receiving from being fucked like a whore on
her hands and knees.

   "Piss-gulpin' gargoyles, Hairy, people are still scared.  Blimey, this
is difficult.  See, there was this jizzard who went...  bad.  As bad as you
could go.  Worse.  Worse than worse.  His name was..."

   Hogrod gulped, but no words came out.  Peetuna looked up at him and
began licking the puckered flesh around his pisshole, burying her tongue
deep inside to get every shred of piss or cum she could find.

   "Could you write it down?" Hairy suggested, lunging into his aunt's hot
pussy and smacking her shapely ass with abandon.

   "Nah -can't spell it.  All right -- Moldywort." Hogrod shuddered and a
last squirt of piss gushed from his cock, choking Peetuna.  Hairy felt her
pussy clench on his cock as she hung her head, gagging and almost puking.
"Don' make me say it again.  Anyway, this -- this jizzard, about twenty
years ago now, started lookin' fer followers.  Got 'em, too -- some were
afraid of being raped to death, some just wanted a bit o' his sexual power,
'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right.  Dark days, Hairy.  Didn't
know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange jizzards or
bitches...  terrible things happened.  He was takin' over.  'Course, some
stood up to him -- an' he raped'em.  Horribly.  One o' the only safe places
left was Hogfarts.  Reckon Dribbledong's the only one You-Know-Who was
afraid of.  Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway.

   "Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a bitch an' jizzard as I ever knew.
Head boy an' girl at Hogfarts in their day!  Suppose the myst'ry is why
You-Know-Who never tried to get in their pants before...  probably knew
they were too close ter Dribbledong ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark
Side."

   "Maybe he thought he could seduce'em...  maybe he just got a boner
for'em.  All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all
living, on Halloween ten years ago.  You was just a year old.  He came ter
yer house an' -- an' --"

   Hogrod suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew
his nose with a sound like a foghorn.  This netted Peetuna another drop of
pee and she slurped it up loudly, wiggling her butt around enthustically
now as Hairy fucked her with his long penis.

   "Sorry," he said.  "But it's that sad -- knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer
people yeh couldn't find -- anyway..."

   "You-Know-Who raped'em to death.  An' then -- an' this is the real
myst'ry of the thing -- he tried to rape you, too.  Wanted ter make a clean
job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked fuckin' the dead by then.  But
he couldn't do it.  Never wondered how you got that mark on yer cock?  That
was no ordinary cut.  That's what yeh get when a Powerful, evil curse
touches yeh -- took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even -- but it
didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Hairy.  No one ever lived
after he decided ter rape'em, no one except you, an' he'd raped some o' the
best bitches an' jizzards of the age -- the McKissums, the Boners, the
Poowetts -- an' you was only a little fucker, an' you lived."

   Something very painful was going on in Hairy's mind, even as his aunt's
soft, wet pussy was milking his cock toward another orgasm.  As Hogrod's
story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more
clearly than he had ever remembered it before -- and he remembered
something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh.

   Hogrod was watching him sadly, holding Peetuna's face firmly between his
huge, hairy balls.

   "Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dribbledong's orders. 
Brought yeh ter this lot..."

   "Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vermon.  Hairy jumped; he had almost
forgotten that his uncle was there.  Uncle Vermon certainly seemed to have
got back his courage.  He was glaring at Hairy's big cock repeatedly
disappearing beneath his wife's jiggling, white ass and his fists were
clenched.

   "Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something
strange about you, probably nothing enough ass-fucking wouldn't have cured
-- and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no
denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion -- asked
for all they got, getting mixed up with these jizzarding types -- just what
I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end --"

   But at that moment, Hogrod leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink
dildo the size of a baseball bat from inside his coat.  Pointing this at
Uncle Vermon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Droolsley -I'm
warning you -- one more word...  "

   In danger of being speared in the ass again by a bearded giant, Uncle
Vermon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and
fell silent, a stream of fear-induced piss arcing out of his tiny dick to
splatter on the floor.

   "That's better," said Hogrod, breathing heavily and sitting back down on
the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.  Peetuna was
rocking back and forth as Hairy got his feet under him and balled her like
a porn star.  Peetuna was wailing in orgasm and hanging on for dear life,
so all she could do was thrust her face into Hogrod's hairy genitals and
rub her face around them lovingly.

   Hairy, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them.  He also
wanted to keep the giant talking until he'd had a chance to blow his second
load in Peetuna's pussy.

   "But what happened to Mol--, sorry -- I mean, You-Know-Who?"

   "Good question, Hairy.  Disappeared.  Vanished.  Same night he tried ter
rape you.  Makes yeh even more famous.  That's the biggest myst'ry, see...
he was gettin' more an' more powerful -- why'd he go?"

   "Some say he died.  Bullshit, in my opinion.  Dunno if he had enough
human left in him to die.  Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time,
like, but I don' believe it.  People who was on his side came back ter
ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances.  Don' reckon they could've done
if he was comin' back."

   "Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his penis. 
Too weak to carry on.  'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Hairy. 
There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on -- I dunno
what it was, no one does -- but somethin' about you fucked him, all right."

   Hogrod looked at Hairy with lust and respect blazing in his eyes, but
Hairy, instead of feeling pleased and aroused, felt quite sure there had
been a horrible mistake.  A jizzard?  Him?  How could he possibly be?  He'd
spent his life being butt-raped by Didley, and tortured by Aunt Peetuna and
Uncle Vermon; if he was really a jizzard, why hadn't they been turned into
warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard?  If he'd
once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Didley had
always been able to abuse him like a 12-year-old sex slave?

   "Hogrod," he said quietly, holding his huge cock deep in Peetuna's cunt
and running a finger over her lovely, still-gaping asshole.  "I think you
must have made a mistake.  I don't think I can be a jizzard."

   To his surprise, Hogrod chuckled.

   "Not a jizzard, eh?  Never made things happen when you was scared or
horny?"

   Hairy looked deep into his aunt's pink, wet asshole.  Now he came to
think about it...  every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle
furious with him had happened when he, Hairy, had been upset or horny... 
chased by Didley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach...
dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make
it grow back...and the very last time Didley had raped him, hadn't he got
his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it?  Hadn't he set a boa
consphinctor on him?

   Hairy ran his eyes up his aunt's sexy back to Hogrod, smiling, and saw
that Hogrod was positively beaming at him.  That sent Hairy over the edge
and he began to pump another load of hot cum into his aunt.  She wailed and
moaned, face still buried in Hogrod's ball sack.

   "See?" said Hogrod.  "Hairy Peeter, not a jizzard -- you wait, you'll be
right famous at Hogfarts."

   But Uncle Vermon wasn't going to give in without a fight.

   "Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed.  "He's going to
Stoneball High and he'll be grateful for it.  I've read those letters and
he needs all sorts of rubbish -- spell books and dildos and --"

   "If he wants ter go, a great Muffle like you won't stop him," growled
Hogrod.  "Stop Loli an' Jism Peeter's son goin' ter Hogfarts!  Yer mad. 
His name's been down ever since he was born.  He's off ter the finest
school of bitchcraft and jizzardry in the world.  Seven years there and he
won't know himself.  He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a
change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogfarts ever had Anus
Dribbled--"

   "I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!"
yelled Uncle Vermon.

   But he had finally gone too far.  Hogrod seized his pink dildo and
whirled it over his head, "NEVER," he thundered, "- INSULT- ANUS-
DRIBBLEDONG- IN- FRONT- OF- ME!"

   He brought the dildo swishing down through the air to point at Didley --
there was a flash of pink light, a sound like an explosive fart, a sharp
squeal, and the next second, Didley was dancing on the spot with his hands
clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain.  When he turned his back on
them, Hairy saw a curly pig's tail poking out above his white, jiggling
cheeks.

   Uncle Vermon roared.  He grabbed Aunt Peetuna and Didley by the arms and
pulled them into the other room.  He cast one last terrified look at Hogrod
and slammed the door behind them.  Hairy laughed when he heard Peetuna
whining and begging to be let go followed by the sound of a pussy fart and
splattering cum.  He cracked up when he heard Uncle Vermon growl, "Peetuna!
Get up off the floor!  It's not sanitary!  And why would you want to eat
that freak's cum anyway?  Peetuna!"

   Hogrod looked down at his dildo and stroked his beard.

   "Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work
anyway.  Meant ter turn him into a cock with ears, but I suppose he was so
much like a pig my spell just finished the job."

   He cast a sideways look at Hairy under his bushy eyebrows.

   "Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogfarts," he
said. "I'm -- er -- not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'.  I was
allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff --
one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job

   "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Hairy, stroking his dirty
cock, already missing his aunt and her lovely orifices.

   "Oh, well -- I was at Hogfarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter
tell yeh the truth.  In me third year.  They snapped me wand in half up my
ass an' everything.  But Dribbledong let me stay on as gamekeeper.  Great
man, Dribbledong."

   "Why were you expelled?" Hairy asked, slinging fluids from the end of
his big cock.

   "It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hogrod
loudly.  "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."

   He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Hairy.

   "You can kip under that," he said.  "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I
think I still got a couple o'whoremice in one o' the pockets."