Archive name: Hairy Peeter and the Philosopher's Bone - Chapter 12.txt Authors name: SensualKink (senskin@gmail.com) Story Title: HP 1 - Ch 12 ------------------------------------------------------------ This is a work of parody. There is no intention to infringe on any copyright owners. Please don't remove the author information or make any changes to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration. ------------------------------------------------------------ Hairy Peeter and the Philosopher's Bone - Chapter 12 (ped, inc, cons, size, cum eating) By SensualKink (senskin@gmail.com) Chapter 12 The Mirror of Arsehead Christmas was cumming. One morning in mid-December, Hogfarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Wussley twins were punished for bewitching several strings of anal beads so that they followed Squirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban. They wouldn’t say what the punishment was but they both walked around rubbing their butt cheeks for days. The few owls that managed to battle their way through the stormy sky to deliver mail had to be fellated back to health by Hogrod before they could fly off again. No one could wait for the holidays to start since the orgasm restriction would no longer be in effect. While the Gryffindong common room and the Great Hall had roaring fires, the drafty corridors had become icy and a bitter wind rattled the windows in the classrooms. Worst of all were Professor Snip’s classes down in the dungeons, where their breath rose in a mist before them and everyone’s nipples were perpetually stiff. They kept as close as possible to their hot cauldrons. “I do feel so sorry,” said Dorco Milftoy, one Potions class, “for all those people who have to stay at Hogfarts for Christmas because they’re not wanted at home.” He was looking over at Hairy as he spoke. Crabs and Gayle chuckled. Hairy, who was measuring out powdered sperm of lion-fish, ignored them. Milftoy had been even more unpleasant than usual since the Quimmitch match. Disgusted that the Slitherings had lost, he had tried to get everyone laughing at how a wide-mouthed tree frog with real cunnilingus skills would be replacing Hairy as Squeaker next. Then he’d realized that nobody found this funny, because they were all so impressed at the way Hairy had managed to stay on his bucking broomstick. So Milftoy, jealous and angry, had gone back to taunting Hairy about having no proper family. It was true that Hairy wasn’t going back to Pervert Drive for Christmas. Professor McGulpitall had come around the week before, making a list of students who would be staying for the holidays, and Hairy had signed up at once. He didn’t feel sorry for himself at all; this would probably be the best Christmas he’d ever had. Rim and his brothers were staying, too, because Mr. and Mrs. Wussley were going to Romania to visit Chortle. This promised tons of unregulated sex, so Hairy was looking forward to it. He did feel a nostalgic pang at the possibility that Aunt Peetuna might humiliate and fuck him if he went home. But this was more than offset by all the cock and ass he’d be getting. When they left the dungeons at the end of Potions, they found a large fir tree blocking the corridor ahead. A huge cock and two enormous balls were sticking out in the middle and a loud puffing sound told them that Hogrod was behind it. “Hi, Hogrod, had to resort to fucking trees have we?” Rim asked, sticking his head through the branches and giving Hogrod’s gigantic penis a lick. “Would you like a real ass to fuck?” “Nah, I’m all right, thanks, Rim. The size and smell always give me a woody. I’ll toss one off when I’m done.” “Would you mind moving out of the fucking way?” came Milftoy’s cold drawl from behind them. “Are you trying to earn some extra money, Wussley? Hoping to be gamekeeper yourself when you leave Hogfarts, I suppose — that hut of Hogrod’s must seem like a palace compared to what your family’s used to.” Rim dived at Milftoy just as Snip came up the stairs. “WUSSLEY!” Rim let go of the front of Milftoy’s robes, eyeing in disbelief the tiny cock that had become dislodged from his thong. “He was provoked, Professor Snip,” said Hogrod, sticking his huge hairy face out from behind the tree. “Milftoy was insultin’ his family.” “Be that as it may, fighting is against Hogfarts rules, Hogrod,” said Snip silkily, whacking Milftoy’s penis until the boy stuffed it away. “Five points from Gryffindong, Wussley, and be grateful it isn’t more. Move along, all of you.” Milftoy, Crabs, and Gayle pushed roughly past the tree, scattering needles everywhere and smirking. “I’ll get him,” said Rim, grinding his teeth at Milftoy’s back, “one of these days, I’ll fucking get him —” “I hate them both,” said Hairy, “Milftoy and Snip.” “Come on, cheer up, it’s nearly Christmas,” said Hogrod. “Tell yeh what, come with me an’ see the Great Hall, looks a treat.” So the three of them followed Hogrod and his tree off to the Great Hall, where Professor McGulpitall and Professor Flutewhack were busy with the Christmas decorations. Along the way, Hairy and Rim both took turns caressing Hogrod’s huge penis. “Ah, Hogrod, the last tree — put it in the far corner, would you?” said Professor McGulpitall. She was at the top of a ladder squatting down with her robes to one side. Hairy felt his cock stirring at the sight of her shapely ass. The hall looked spectacular. Festoons of holly and cameltoe hung all around the walls, and no less than twelve towering Christmas trees stood around the room, some sparkling with tiny crystal cocks, some glittering with hundreds of candles in vagina-shaped crystal holders. “How many days you got left until yer holidays?” Hogrod asked, setting the tree down and applying both his huge hands to his enormous cock. “Just one,” said Hymenie, unable to take her eyes from his gigantic piss hole. “And that reminds me — Hairy, Rim, we’ve got half an hour before lunch, we should be in the library.” “Oh yeah, you’re right,” said Rim, tearing his eyes away from Professor Flutewhack, who had golden bubbles blossoming out of his dildo and was trailing them over the branches of the new tree. “The library?” said Hogrod, following them out of the hall with his huge boner preceding him. “Just before the holidays? Bit geeky, aren’t yeh?” “Oh, we’re not working,” Hairy told him brightly. “Ever since you mentioned Nicolas Flamer we’ve been trying to find out who he is.” He positioned himself directly in front of Hogrod and reached up to squeeze his soft cock head with both hands. “You what?” Hogrod looked shocked. “Listen here — I’ve told yeh — drop it. It’s nothin’ to you what that dog’s guardin’.” “We just want to know who Nicolas Flamer is, that’s all,” said Hymenie, standing next to his enormous length and idly tracing huge veins along his penis. “Unless you’d like to tell us and save us the trouble?” Hairy added. “We must’ve been through hundreds of books already and we can’t find him anywhere — just give us a hint — I know I’ve read his name somewhere.” He bent forward and gently kissed around the puckered flesh of Hogrod’s piss hole. “I’m sayin’ nothin’,” said Hogrod flatly, stroking his huge cock at the base and trying to ignore the lust they were firing in him. “Just have to find out for ourselves, then,” said Rim, and they left Hogrod looking frustrated and hurried off to the library. They had indeed been searching books for Flamer’s name ever since Hogrod had let it slip, because how else were they going to find out what Snip was trying to steal? The trouble was, it was very hard to know where to begin, not knowing what Flamer might have done to get himself into a book. He wasn’t in Great Jizzards of the Twentieth Century, or Naughty Magical Names of Our Time; he was missing, too, from Impotent Modern Magical Discoveries, and A Study of Recent Developments in Jizzardry. And then, of course, there was the sheer size of the library; tens of thousands of books; thousands of shelves; hundreds of narrow rows. Hymenie took out a list of subjects and titles she had decided to search and strode off down a row of books, again purposely allowing her robes to swing aside and reveal her firm little ass cheeks. Rim wandered down another row and started pulling books off the shelves at random. Hairy wandered over to the Restricted Section. He had been wondering for a while if Flamer wasn’t somewhere in there. Unfortunately, you needed a specially signed note from one of the teachers to look in any of the restricted books, and he knew he’d never get one. These were the books containing powerful Dark Magic never taught at Hogfarts, and only read by older students studying advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts. “What the fuck are you looking for, boy?” “Nothing,” said Hairy. Madam Pinch the librarian brandished a feather duster at him and reached down to pinch his ass cheek sharply. “You’d better fuckin get out, then. Go on — out!” Wishing he’d been a bit quicker at thinking up some story, Hairy left the library rubbing his stinging butt cheek. He, Rim, and Hymenie had already agreed they’d better not ask Madam Pinch where they could find Flamer. They were sure she’d be able to tell them, but they couldn’t risk Snip hearing what they were up to. Hairy waited outside in the corridor to see if the other two had found anything, but he wasn’t very hopeful. They had been looking for two weeks, after all, but as they only had odd moments between lessons it wasn’t surprising they’d found nothing. What they really needed was a nice long search without Madam Pinch breathing down their necks. Five minutes later, Rim and Hymenie joined him, shaking their heads. They went off to lunch. “You will keep looking while I’m away, won’t you?” said Hymenie, reaching to either side to stroke their bulges. “And send me an owl if you find anything.” “And you could ask your parents if they know who Flamer is,” said Rim, pulling his stiff cock free. “It’d be safe to ask them.” “Very safe, as they’re both dendrochronologists,” said Hymenie, bending to give Rim a good sucking before the holiday started. Hairy contented himself with rubbing his huge cock all over her soft ass. He had a feeling Hymenie wanted him in her ass, but he was still too nervous to ask her yet. Once the holidays had started, Rim and Hairy were having too much good sex to think much about Flamer. They had the dormitory to themselves and the common room was far emptier than usual, so they were able to get the good armchairs by the fire. They sat by the hour eating anything they could spear on a toasting fork — bread, English muffins, marshmallows — and usually topping it off with a load of hot, thick cum. Hymenie had left them a philter that allowed them to ejaculate up to 20 times a day, so they sucked and ass-fucked at least once an hour and topped off all meals with loads of thick cream. Slurping cum-covered treats, they plotted ways of getting Milftoy expelled, which were fun to talk about even if they wouldn’t work. And they could have sex whenever they wanted. Rim also started teaching Hairy jizzard chess. This was exactly like Muffle chess except that the figures were naked and alive, which made it a lot like directing troops in sexual battle. Rim’s set was very old and battered. Like everything else he owned, it had once belonged to someone else in his family — in this case, his grandfather. However, old chessmen weren’t a drawback at all. Rim knew them so well he never had trouble getting them to do what he wanted. Hairy played with chessmen Semen Funnigan had lent him, and they didn’t trust him at all. He wasn’t a very good player yet and they kept shouting different bits of advice at him, which was confusing. “Don’t send me there, can’t you see his knight with the huge cock? Send him, we can afford to lose him.” On Christmas Eve, Hairy went to bed looking forward to the next day for the food and the fun, but not expecting any presents at all. When he woke early in the morning, however, the first thing he saw was a small pile of packages at the foot of his bed. “Merry Christmas,” said Rim sleepily as Hairy pulled his flaccid cock from Rim’s ass and scrambled out of bed to pull on his bathrobe. “You, too,” said Hairy. “Will you look at this? I’ve got some presents!” “What did you expect, turnips?” said Rim, turning to his own pile, which was a lot bigger than Hairy’s. Hairy picked up the top parcel. It was wrapped in thick brown paper and scrawled across it was To Hairy, from Hogrod. Inside was a roughly cut wooden flute in the shape of Hogrod’s penis. Hogrod had obviously whittled it himself. Hairy blew it — it sounded a bit like an owl having an orgasm. A second, very small parcel contained a note. We received your message and enclose your Christmas present. From Uncle Vermon and Aunt Peetuna. Taped to the note was a fifty-pence piece. There was a pube stuck to the note near Peetuna’s signature and he could swear he smelt the pungent aroma of her pussy for a second. “That’s friendly,” said Hairy. “And creepy.” Rim was fascinated by the fifty pence. He raised it to his nose and sniffed it. “Weird!” he said, “It smells like pussy! This is money?” “You can keep it,” said Hairy, laughing at how pleased Rim was. “My Aunt probably shoved it up her cunt before she sent it. Rim immediately gave the coin a lick and smiled at the pleasant taste. ”Hogrod and my aunt and uncle — so who sent these?” “I think I know who that one’s from,” said Rim, turning a bit pink and pointing to a very lumpy parcel. “My mom. I told her you didn’t expect any presents and — oh, no,” he groaned, “she’s made you a Wussley sweater.” Hairy had torn open the parcel to find a thick, hand-knitted sweater in emerald green and a large box of homemade fudge. “Every year she makes us a sweater,” said Rim, unwrapping his own, “and mine’s always maroon.” “That’s really nice of her,” said Hairy, trying the fudge, which also had pussy juice flavoring and was very tasty. His next present also contained candy — a large box of Chocolate Furburgers from Hymenie. The box was not sealed and he became ragingly aroused when he realized each chocolate smelled like her delicious little pussy! Hairy felt a gush of love as he realized how sweet it was that she wanted him to be able to taste her sweet cunt juices while she was away. This only left one parcel. Hairy picked it up and felt it. It was very light. He unwrapped it. Something fluid and silvery gray went slithering to the floor where it lay in gleaming folds. Rim gasped. “I’ve heard of those,” he said in a hushed voice, dropping the box of pussy-juice-coated Every Flavor Balls he’d gotten from Hymenie. “If that’s what I think it is — they’re really rare, and really valuable.” “What is it?” Hairy picked the shining, silvery cloth off the floor. It was strange to the touch, like water woven into material. “It’s an Invisibility Cloak,” said Rim, a look of awe on his face. “I’m sure it is — try it on.” Hairy threw the cloak around his shoulders and Rim gave a yell. “It is! Look down!” Hairy looked down at his feet, but they were gone. He dashed to the mirror. Sure enough, his reflection looked back at him, just his head suspended in midair, his body completely invisible. He pulled the cloak over his head and his reflection vanished completely. “There’s a note!” said Rim suddenly. “A note fell out of it!” Hairy pulled off the cloak and seized the letter. Written in narrow, loopy writing he had never seen before were the following words: Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well. A Very Merry Christmas to you. Hairy stared at the note. There was no signature. But Hairy could swear the word ‘ass’ had been erased and replaced by ‘possession’. Rim was admiring the cloak as Hairy lifted the note to his nose and smelt undeniable traces of semen. It caused his cock to spring into a raging boner. “I’d give anything for one of these,” Rim said, licking his lips as he saw Hairy’s huge cock emerge from the folds of his robe. “Anything. What’s got you so randy all of a sudden?” “Nothing,” said Hairy as Rim slipped to his knees, dutifully kissing and licking Hairy’s prick with love. Hairy felt very strange. Who had sent the cloak? Had it really once belonged to his father? Before he could say or think anything else, the dormitory door was flung open and Frod and Gorge Wussley bounded in. Hairy stuffed the cloak quickly out of sight. He didn’t feel like sharing it with anyone else yet. “Merry Christmas fags!” “Hey, look — Hairy’s got a Wussley sweater, too! We should put them on and bugger each other!” Frod and Gorge were wearing blue sweaters, one with a large yellow F on it, the other a G. “Hairy’s is better than ours, though,” said Frod, holding up Hairy’s sweater. “She obviously makes more of an effort if she’s trying to get in your pants.” “Why aren’t you wearing yours, Rim?” Gorge demanded, grabbing his brother’s red hair and smashing his crotch into Rim’s face. “Come on, get it on, they’re lovely and warm. Just like your asshole.” “I hate maroon,” Rim moaned halfheartedly as he pulled it over his head. Then he eagerly returned to kissing and supping the length of Hairy’s throbbing, leaking prick. “You haven’t got a letter on yours,” Gorge observed. “I suppose she thinks you don’t forget your name. But we’re not stupid — we know we’re called Gred and Forge.” “What’s all this noise?” Pussy Wussley stuck his head through the door, looking disapproving. He had clearly gotten halfway through unwrapping his presents as he, too, carried a lumpy sweater over his arm, which Frod seized. “P for prefuck! Get it on, Pussy, come on, we’re all wearing ours, even Hairy got one.” “I — don’t — want —” said Pussy thickly, as the twins forced the sweater over his head, knocking his glasses askew. They also managed to pull his thong down and Hairy’s cock jumped at the sight of Pussy’s perfectly smooth cock and balls. They looked delicious, no matter what his siblings said about him. Hairy made up his mind to get a taste of Pussy over Christmas break. “And you’re not sitting with the prefucks today, either,” said Gorge. “Christmas is a time for family.” They frog-marched Pussy from the room, his arms pinned to his side by his sweater, Frod savagely squeezing Pussy’s bare ass and fingering his puckered asshole. Hairy had never in all his life had such a Christmas dinner. A hundred fat, roast turkeys; mountains of roast and boiled potatoes; platters of chipolatas; tureens of buttered peas, silver boats of thick, rich gravy and cranberry sauce, all with healthy doses of sperm and pussy juice in the recipe or heaped on top — and stacks of jizzard crackers every few feet along the table. These fantastic party favors were nothing like the feeble Muffle ones the Droolsleys usually bought, with their little plastic toys and their flimsy paper hats inside. Hairy pulled a jizzard cracker with Frod and it didn’t just bang, it went off with a blast like a cannon and engulfed them all in a cloud of blue smoke, while from the inside exploded a rear admiral’s hat and several live, white mice. Up at the High Table, Dribbledong had swapped his pointed jizzard’s hat for a flowered bonnet, and was chuckling merrily at a dirty joke Professor Flutewhack had just read him. Flaming Christmas cum-puddings followed the turkey. Pussy nearly broke his teeth on a silver Sickle embedded in his slice. Hairy watched Hogrod getting redder and redder in the face as he called for more wine, finally kissing Professor McGulpitall on the ass cheek as she bent over the table to scoop of thick semen into her own wine glass. To Hairy’s amazement, she giggled and blushed, her top hat lopsided. When Hairy finally left the table, he was laden down with a stack of things out of the crackers, including a pack of non-explodable, luminous condoms, a Grow-Your-Own-Tits kit, and his own new S&M-themed jizzard chess set. The white mice had disappeared and Hairy had a nasty feeling they were going to end up as Mrs. Morpiss’s Christmas dinner. Hairy and the Wussleys spent a happy afternoon having a furious snowball fight on the grounds. Then, cold, wet, and gasping for breath, they returned to the fire in the Gryffindong common room, where Hymenie’s philter allowed them to have a wonderful time fucking and sucking each other to mind-shattering orgasms. His belly full of warm sperm and covered with sticky semen from head to toe, Hairy broke in his new chess set by losing spectacularly to Rim. He suspected he wouldn’t have lost so badly if Pussy hadn’t tried to help him so much. Pussy in close proximity was just too distracting. Hairy had taken the opportunity to suck Pussy’s shaved cock and balls as often as he could that day. He also found Pussy had a nice, hairless ass. Pussy had been more than happy to let Hairy plow his tight man-pussy and Hairy had moaned like a whore every time Pussy’s cock spurted thin, milky torrents of hot ball juice down his throat. Hairy loved the taste and couldn’t get enough. After a meal of turkey sandwiches, crumpets, trifle, and Christmas cake covered in thick sperm, everyone felt too full and sleepy to do much before bed except sit and watch Pussy chase Frod and Gorge all over Gryffindong Tower because they’d stolen his prefuck badge. It had been Hairy’s best Christmas day ever. Yet something had been nagging at the back of his mind all day. Not until he climbed into bed was he free to think about it: the Invisibility Cloak and whoever had sent it. Rim, full of turkey and cum and with nothing mysterious to bother him, fell asleep almost as soon as he’d drawn the curtains of his four-poster and cuddled up with Frod and Gorge. Hairy extracted himself from Pussy’s nude embrace and leaned over the side of his own bed and pulled the cloak out from under it. His father’s … this had been his father’s. He let the material flow over his hands, smoother than silk, light as air. Use it well, the note had said. He had to try it, now. He slipped out of bed and wrapped the cloak around himself. Looking down at his legs, he saw only moonlight and shadows. It was a very funny feeling. Use it well. Suddenly, Hairy felt wide-awake. The whole of Hogfarts was open to him in this cloak. Excitement flooded through him as he stood there in the dark and silence. He could go anywhere in this, anywhere, and Fist would never know. His cock poked out suddenly, seeming to float in the air and Hairy had to remember to hold the cloak so his gigantic prick didn’t give him away. Rim cooed in his sleep. Should Hairy wake him? Something held him back — his father’s cloak — he felt that this time — the first time — he wanted to use it alone. He crept out of the dormitory, down the stairs, across the common room, and climbed through the portrait hole. “Who’s there?” squawked the Fat Lady, pausing with a huge sausage halfway up her enormous cunt. Hairy said nothing. He walked quickly down the corridor to the shlucking sounds as she resumed sliding it in and out of her gigantic pussy lips. Where should he go? He stopped, his cock throbbing at the idea of sneaking into McGulpitall’s rooms. He also considered sneaking into a tower and maybe forcing himself on a very young girl or boy who would be too weak to resist him. And then it came to him. The Restricted Section in the library. He’d be able to read as long as he liked, as long as it took to find out who Flamer was. He set off, drawing the Invisibility Cloak tight around him as he walked. The library was pitch-black and very eerie. Hairy lit a lamp to see his way along the rows of books. The lamp looked as if it was floating along in midair, and even though Hairy could feel his arm supporting it, the sight gave him the creeps. The Restricted Section was right at the back of the library. Stepping carefully over the rope that separated these books from the rest of the library, he held up his lamp to read the titles. They didn’t tell him much. Their peeling, faded gold letters spelled words in languages Hairy couldn’t understand. Some had no title at all. One book had a crusty stain on it that looked suspiciously like dried cum. The hairs on Hairy’s scrotum prickled. Maybe he was imagining it, maybe not, but he thought a faint whispering was coming from the books, as though they knew someone was there who shouldn’t be. He had to start somewhere. Setting the lamp down carefully on the floor, he looked along the bottom shelf for an interesting-looking book. A large black and silver volume with an ornate spurting cock on the spine caught his eye. He pulled it out with difficulty, because it was very heavy, and, balancing it on his knee, let it fall open. A piercing, bloodcurdling moan split the silence — the book was screaming in what sounded like orgasmic lust! Hairy snapped it shut, but the shriek went on and on, one high, unbroken, earsplitting note of lust. He stumbled backward and knocked over his lamp, which went out at once. Panicking, he heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside — stuffing the shrieking book back on the shelf, he ran for it. He passed Fist in the doorway; Fist’s pale, wild eyes looked straight through him, and Hairy slipped under Fist’s outstretched arm and streaked off up the corridor, the book’s shrieks still ringing in his ears. He came to a sudden halt in front of a tall suit of armor with a huge, molded phallus piece. He had been so busy getting away from the library, he hadn’t paid attention to where he was going. Perhaps because it was dark, he didn’t recognize where he was at all. There was a suit of armor near the kitchens, he knew, but he must be five floors above there. “You asked me to come directly to you, Professor, if anyone was fucking around at night, and somebody’s been in the library — Restricted Section.” Hairy felt the blood drain out of his cock. Wherever he was, Fist must know a shortcut, because his soft, greasy voice was getting nearer, and to his horror, it was Snip who replied, “The Restricted Section? Well, they can’t be far, we’ll fucking catch them.” Hairy stood rooted to the spot as Fist and Snip came around the corner ahead. They couldn’t see him, of course, but it was a narrow corridor and if they came much nearer they’d knock right into protruding cock — the cloak didn’t stop him from being solid. He backed away as quietly as he could. A door stood ajar to his left. It was his only hope. He squeezed through it, holding his breath, trying not to hit it with his cock, and to his relief he managed to get inside the room without their noticing anything. They walked straight past, and Hairy leaned against the wall, breathing deeply, listening to their footsteps dying away. That had been close, very close. It was a few seconds before he noticed anything about the room he had hidden in. It looked like an unused classroom. The dark shapes of desks and chairs were piled against the walls, and there was an upturned wastepaper basket — but propped against the wall facing him was something that didn’t look as if it belonged there, something that looked as if someone had just put it there to keep it out of the way. It was a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. There was an inscription carved around the top: Arsehead stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. His panic fading now that there was no sound of Fist and Snip, Hairy moved nearer to the mirror, wanting to look at himself but see no reflection again. He stepped in front of it. He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when the book had screamed — for he had seen not only himself in the mirror, but a whole crowd of naked people standing right behind him. But the room was empty. Breathing very fast, he turned slowly back to the mirror. There he was, reflected in it, white and scared-looking, huge penis hanging almost to his knees, and there, reflected behind him, were at least ten others. Hairy looked over his shoulder — but still, no one was there. Or were they all invisible, too? Was he in fact in a room full of invisible people and this mirror’s trick was that it reflected them, invisible or not? He looked in the mirror again. A woman with firm, wobbling breasts standing right behind his reflection was smiling at him and waving. He reached out a hand and felt the air behind him. If she was really there, he’d touch those delicious globes of flesh, their reflections were so close together, but he felt only air — she and the others existed only in the mirror. She was a very pretty woman. She had dark red hair and her eyes — her eyes are just like mine, Hairy thought, edging a little closer to the glass. Bright green — exactly the same shape, but then he noticed that she was crying; smiling, but crying at the same time. The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He too had an enormous penis hanging between his legs. He wore glasses, and his hair was very untidy. It stuck up at the back, just as Hairy’s did. Hairy was so close to the mirror now that his cock was nearly touching that of his reflection. “Mom?” he whispered. “Dad?” They just looked at him, smiling. And slowly, Hairy looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man who looked as though he had Hairy’s hirsute genitals — Hairy was looking at his family, for the first time in his life. The Peeters smiled and waved at Hairy and he stared hungrily back at them, his hands pressed flat against the glass as though he was hoping to fall right through it and reach them. He had a powerful kind of ache inside him, half lust, half terrible sadness. How long he stood there, he didn’t know. The reflections did not fade and he looked and looked until a distant noise brought him back to his senses. He couldn’t stay here, he had to find his way back to bed. He tore his eyes away from his mother’s sexy body, whispered, “I’ll come back,” and hurried from the room. “You could have woken me up,” said Rim, crossly as Hairy lubed up his asshole for their morning fuck. “You can come tonight, I’m going back, I want to show you the mirror.” Rim’s pink anus winked at Hairy with anticipation. “I’d like to see your mom and dad,” Rim said, eagerly spreading his cheeks apart as Hairy pressed his enormous head against Rim’s puckered asshole and it popped inside his warm depths. “And I want to see all your family, all the Wussleys, you’ll be able to show me your other brothers and everyone.” “You can see them any old time,” grunted Rim as Hairy pushed his huge, throbbing cock deeper into Rim’s tight asshole. “Just come round my house this summer. Anyway, maybe it only shows dead people. Shame about not finding Flamer, though. Have some more lube or something, why can’t I feel your balls slapping mine yet?” Hairy couldn’t focus on working his cock all the way into Rim’s ass. He had seen his naked parents and would be seeing them again tonight. He had almost forgotten about Flamer. It didn’t seem very important anymore. Who the fuck cared what the three-headed dog was guarding? What did it matter if Snip stole it, really? “Are you all right?” said Rim, looking over his shoulder and trying to wriggle his asshole down Hairy’s long penis. “You look odd.” What Hairy feared most was that he might not be able to find the mirror room again. With Rim covered in the cloak, too, they had to walk much more slowly the next night. It didn’t help that Rim was repeatedly overcome with lust and would suddenly drop to his knees to slurp Hairy’s cock and balls or jam his tongue between Hairy’s soft ass cheeks. They tried retracing Hairy’s route from the library, wandering around the dark passageways for nearly an hour. “I’m freezing,” said Rim, who had opted not to wear any clothes. “Let’s forget it and go back. I’ll do the thing with the grape jam again.” “No!” Hairy hissed, pinching Rim’s ass cheek sharply. “I know it’s here somewhere.” They passed the ghost of a tall witch with tits the size of watermelons gliding in the opposite direction, but saw no one else. Just as Rim started moaning that his balls were dead with cold and he’d never be able to spurt hot cum again, Hairy spotted the suit of armor. “It’s here — just here — yes!” They pushed the door open. Hairy dropped the cloak from around his shoulders and ran to the mirror. There they were. His mother and father beamed at the sight of him. “See?” Hairy whispered, his leaking throbbing cock leaving snail trails on the glass as he pressed against it. “I don’t see shit.” “Look! Look at them all … there are loads of them. …” “I can only see you.” “Look in it properly, go on, stand where I am.” Hairy stepped aside, but with Rim in front of the mirror, he couldn’t see his family anymore, just Rim in his birthday suit idling flopping his penis around. Rim, though, was staring transfixed at his image. “Look at me!” he said, his red penis suddenly filling fast with blood. “Can you see all your family standing around you?” “No — I’m alone — but I’m different — I look older — and I’m Head Boy!” “What?” “I am — I’m wearing the badge like Bull used to — and I’m holding the House Cup and the Quimmitch Cup — I’m Quimmitch captain, too! The whole team is lined up waiting for me to bugger them!” Rim tore his eyes away from this splendid sight to look excitedly at Hairy, unabashedly stroking his dripping meat. “Do you think this mirror shows the future?” “How can it? All my family are dead — let me have another look —” “You had it to yourself all last night, give me a bit more time.” “You’re only holding the Quimmitch Cup, what’s interesting about that? I want to see my parents.” “Don’t push me —” A sudden noise outside in the corridor put an end to their discussion. They hadn’t realized how loudly they had been talking. “Quick!” Rim threw the cloak back over them as the luminous eyes of Mrs. Morpiss came round the door. Rim and Hairy stood quite still gripping their cocks in fear, both thinking the same thing — did the cloak work on cats? After what seemed an age, she squatted to piss on the carpet then turned and left. “This isn’t safe — she might have gone for Fist, I bet she heard us. Come on.” And Rim pulled Hairy out of the room. The snow still hadn’t melted the next morning. “Want to shit on my chest, Hairy?” said Rim. “No.” “Why don’t we go down and visit Hogrod? We could pull out that old tub and take another bath in his cum.” “No … you go …” “I know what you’re thinking about, Hairy, that mirror. Don’t go back tonight.” He climbed up onto the bed and nuzzled in Hairy’s crotch. “Why not?” Hairy said, stroking Rim’s red hair as he lapped Hairy’s fat balls. “I dunno, I’ve just got a bad feeling about it — and anyway, you’ve had too many close shaves already. Fist, Snip, and Mrs. Morpiss are wandering around. So what if they can’t see you? What if they walk into you? What if you knock something over?” “You sound like Hymenie.” “I’m serious, Hairy, don’t go.” With an imploring look, he tickled Hairy’s pisshole then slipped his lips around Hairy’s quickly expanding head. But Hairy only had one thought in his head, which was to get back in front of the mirror, and Rim wasn’t going to stop him. Didn’t mean he could choke him with his cock for a while before that though… That third night he found his way more quickly than before. He had fucked Rim hard and long to make sure he slept soundly then snuck away. He was walking so fast he knew he was making more noise than was wise, but he didn’t meet anyone. And there were his mother and father smiling at him again, and one of his grandfathers nodding happily. Hairy sank down to sit on the floor in front of the mirror. There was nothing to stop him from staying here all night with his family. Nothing at all. Except — “So — back again, Hairy?” Hairy felt as though his insides had turned to ice. He looked behind him. Sitting on one of the desks by the wall was none other than Anus Dribbledong. Hairy must have walked straight past him, so desperate to get to the mirror he hadn’t noticed him. “I — I didn’t see you, sir.” “Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you,” said Dribbledong, and Hairy was relieved to see that he was smiling. His long, bent cock also happened to be hanging free, draped over the desk in front of him. “So,” said Dribbledong, slipping off the desk and allowing Hairy a good long look at the enormous piece of meat between his skinny legs. He lifted it proudly out of the way and sat on the floor with Hairy, “you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Arsehead.” “I didn’t know it was called that, sir.” Hairy tried to keep from looking at the huge, soft penis laying atop Dribbledong’s crossed shins. He too had decided to go naked tonight and he couldn’t hide the boner he was quickly achieving. “But I expect you’ve realized by now what it does?” Dribbledong began to stroke his long penis from base to tip, drops of clear liquid oozing from his wrinkled pisshole and making Hairy’s mouth water. “It — well — it shows me my family —” “And it showed your friend Rim himself as Head Boy.” “How did you know — ?” “I don’t need a cloak to become invisible,” said Dribbledong, reaching over to gently pat Hairy’s smooth bare ass. “Now, can you think what the Mirror of Arsehead shows us all?” Hairy shook his head. Dribbledong’s cock was getting hard and Hairy felt as if his heart was going hammer through his chest he was so excited. “Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Arsehead like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is. Does that help?” Hairy thought. Then he said slowly, “It shows us what we want … whatever we want …” “Yes and no,” said Dribbledong quietly. “It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate sexual desire of our hearts. You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you naked and filled with lust. Rim Wussley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them. However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible. “The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, Hairy, and I ask you not to go looking for it again. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Now, why don’t you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?” Hairy stood up. His raging cock was at just the right height for Dribbledong’s hairy mouth. He let it hang freely in front of him, no longer ashamed since the old man’s own penis was steadily slinging drops of liquid as he vigorously stroked it. “Sir — Professor Dribbledong? Can I ask you something?” “Obviously, you’ve just done so,” Dribbledong smiled, looking Hairy up and down like a predator looks over it next meal. “You may ask me one more thing, however.” “What do you see when you look in the mirror?” “I? I see myself holding a thick, woolen cock sock.” Hairy stared downward and tried to imagine such a thing. “One can never have enough cock socks,” said Dribbledong, now purposely slinging precum at the mirror. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single one. People will insist on giving me girlie magazines and sex toys.” It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Hairy that Dribbledong might not have been quite truthful. But then, he thought, as he shoved Shlobbers off his pillow, it had been quite a personal question. He lay awake long enough to fantasize about sucking and taking Dribbledong’s huge cock up his ass. He snuck over the spurt a new coating of hot, creamy cum all over Rim’s bare ass, then climbed back in bed and went to sleep.