Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Author: Senjin the Dragon senjin@hatchling.org
Title: My cock and me - Growing up to be a gay exhibitionistic slut
Part: Chapter 1
Summary: This isn't fiction.  I'm a slutty exhibitionist and the proof
of that is on the net.  Just google my name.  I even was one as a little
boy already.  I want to tell you how it all developed.
Keywords: b, bsolo, bb, bbm, bm+, inc, ped, cons, exhib, mast, oral,
preteen, real, teen, true, yng



   My cock and me...  I put my cock up front because I think he's the one
'thinking' for me when I show off.  I sort of tune out any rational
thoughts, don't listen to my minds warnings or concerns.  "Just go for it.
Be proud to be a gay exhibitionistic slut.  Don't give a fuck what others
think of it.  Show your dick to the world.  Do it!"

   As a warning beforehand.  I'm going to talk about me and my
exhibitionistic side.  How it started out and how I came to the point where
I am now.  A large portion of this story mentions my childhood escapades
and because of that might not be to everyone's liking.  I don't want to
kick anyone in the shins but I have to tell it to explain how things
developed.

   Also this story is an introduction to me.  Even though parts of it might
excite people, it wasn't meant for that so it doesn't work towards this
orgasmic conclusion or something like that.  Feel free to masturbate of
course, I rather like that idea...

   I'm going to cut it up in 2, maybe 3 parts, childhood, young adult and
adult.  Because as I am writing this, I'm finding out that I have quite a
bit to tell and I'm worried things will get too long.  It also allows me to
stave reactions before I spend a lot of time writing out the rest.

   So now without further adue:

   **PART 1 - MY CHILDHOOD, GROWING UP DISCOVERING MY EXHIBITIONISM**

   I think for me exhibitionism has always been there in my life.  It was
there already when I was just a little boy.  I have always been a bit of an
odd kid.  I've been sexualy active for as long as I can remember and pretty
much a nymphomaniac at that.  I might not have been able to orgasm and cum
yet, but I was well able to get stiff and enjoyed the feeling and
excitement of that.  I'm not going to write out all events in detail here.
I could fill a book with that.  But I will mention those that I think have
been a major influence on me developing my exhibitionistic streak.

   My first memories involve me messing around with my little brother in
the bathtub.  I also remember showing off in the playground in the back of
our street a couple of times and even remember playing with myself beneath
my desk during class, daring myself to poke it as far out of my fly as I
had the courage for.  The thought of anyone seeing me do such a thing gave
me a huge thrill and paved the road for not being so ashamed about my
sexuality.

   I fooled around with my brother almost daily.  Daring each other to do
sexual things and taking it a little further every time.  And when we were
out of ideas, we started daring each other to do those things for a certain
amount of time daring each other to do it a bit longer every time. 
Eventually things escalated to the point of holding his stiffie in my mouth
and circling his tip with my tongue for 10 minutes.  It wasn't your typical
'playing doctor' anymore.  We eventually went on playing with each other
for many years, until I was in my early twenties even.  But that's another
story.  I'll keep focus on my exhibitionistic side here.

   It was during one of those sessions that I had my lips around my
brothers dick beneath the blankets of his bed when he suddenly turned very
silent.  I had no idea what was going on until the blankets were abruptly
yanked back.  And there I was looking up in the face of mom with my
brothers dick throbbing between my lips.  I had him almost orgasming before
he turned silent so there was no way hiding what we were doing.  Suffice to
say my parents weren't happy.  They were surprisingly understanding of our
need to experiment with our sexuality but were definitely not agreeing on
how far we were taking things.  I'm ashamed to admit that even though mom
and dad were pissed, the thought of mom seeing me like that with my little
brothers prick stuck in my mouth, got me off many a night and still excites
me today.

   Later on when I started reaching puberty, things didn't improve.  I made
up sexual games for myself.  Having to play with my hardon in every room of
our house for example.  And when I had done all the rooms from my little
attic bedroom to the cellar, the only logical next step was to do it in the
back- and later even the front yard.  The thrill of doing that was intense.
I still recall that first night when I ventured out into the very early
morning in my pajamas.  The cold bricks of the road beneath my bare feet.
The exciting feeling of cold air brushing along my dick and balls when I
lowered my pants, forcing myself to drop them all the way to my ankles. 
Nervously looking at the houses of the neighbors, checking that their
lights were still off, straining my ears for every sound.

   The thoughts and doubts racing through my mind when I reached down and
started to wank.  I was stiff in no-time and cumming in mere seconds with
an intensity that I had never experienced before.  Because of puberty my
hormones were raging and the thrill and feeling of release when I came on
these escapades worked like a drug to me.  I think that's when I crossed
the border and decided to explore this all further, wanting more of it.

   I started wanking everywhere.  I remember sticking it out of my fly
while biking half an hour to the pool, my heart beating in my throat as
cars raced by.  I remember jacking off in the forest or in the bushes
behind our schoolyard or even in the pools changing cubicles, in the back
seat of my parents car.  I started developing an interest in others dicks
as well.  Often getting down on my haunches to try to sneak a peek into an
adjacent stall.  I even remember one time poking mine into the other stall
beneath the wooden panel daring myself to keep it there for half a minute,
praying he or she wouldn't see but secretly wanting them to anyways.  It's
a very dualistic feeling.

   I started trying to get my friends interested as well and succeeding
quite a couple of times.  Playing 'doctor' at first and "I show you mine if
you show me yours".  I found out that I was on average a bit better
equipped then most other boys my age.  It wasn't a huge fat thick cock that
I had of course but I did see that mine was a bit longer then most others.
And I didn't only like the threat or risk of someone seeing that.  I wanted
them to actually see it.  I was proud of it.  I wanted to show it off
shamelessly.

   I think it was also about this time that I played with my first and last
girl.  I showed her mine and she showed me hers.  I told her I'd lick hers
if she'd lick mine.  And I did.  She didn't reciprocate though, refusing to
and getting me angry, disappointed and afraid at the same time.  Worried
she'd tell her parents of what I had done.  I like to think it's her fault
I've turned out gay.  I should thank her for it.  Other then her, I've
always only played with boys and now men.  All my friends since have been
guys.

   It was two of those friends that decided to challenge me a bit.  A boy
from my class and his 5 year older brother.  I was over at their place,
playing on my friends Commodore 64.  I even remember the game.  Great Grand
Giana Sisters.  A Super Mario clone.  I was sitting on the couch, my friend
was using the back-rest of the couch to sit upon, his bare feet on the seat
beside me.  His brother behind me as well, lounging on my friends bed
beside the couch, watching me play.  I didn't have a computer of my own, my
parents couldn't afford one, and was deeply immersed in the game when I
heard my friends brother smirking.  I looked around at him, then at my
friend.  He was grinning and blushing a bit but they said nothing was going
on, I should keep playing the game.  Half a level later his brother smirks
again and I turn around fast.  My friends thin and fairly short pecker
poking out of his fly, wiggling his foreskin over his glans between his
fingers, just behind my back.  I gawked at it, both boys giggling in
anticipation of my reaction, and then told his brother that mine was
bigger...

   Things soon after started moving into dares.  And I dared more then
either of them.  I made sure to tell them that if it had to do with my
pecker or others peckers, I'd dare anything.  With that creating a
situation where I had to push the envelope for myself to prove it.  I guess
because of what I all had done already, I never developed much of a sense
of shame in the same way others have.  It's there, I can feel shame.  But
I've learned that it's fun to push that shame aside and just do it anyways.
Turning your sensible mind off and enjoying the thrill and adrenaline
caused by the perversion of what you're doing.  It was also a thrill not to
know how far they would take things with me.  Leaving it up to them.  I
dared anything after all.

   It was these friends that dared me to do stuff I had considered doing
before but had never dared on my own.  I needed that little extra push of
them challenging me.  Making me want to prove that I wasn't lying.  They
dared me to show it, and then to jack off in front of them, then to do it
in front of my friends bedroom window on the first floor.  It wasn't my
street and relatively quiet.  I didn't know anyone there except for them.
So I did it.  My friend didn't though, that was as far as he went.  Showing
off to me was all fine but you had to be crazy to do it in front of the
window.  Because my friend didn't follow suit, other indoor dares ensued,
daring me to lick or hold my friends hard-on between my lips, then
increasing the time I had to do it for, as I had done with my brother years
before.  I knew this game, and I was good at it.  His brother joined in,
also wanting to feel what it felt like I suppose.  He didn't cum in my
mouth but he did do it right in front of me.  Showing me sperm and the way
it ropes out for the first time in my life.

   They had given up on trying to match my dares and were now just testing
me, they took things further then I had done by my own before.  But I was
the guy who told them I'd dare anything, I didn't want to lose face. 
Wanking on the balcony with my pecker poking out between the bars and my
eyes closed.  In broad daylight.  They would tell me when I could stop.  I
had to take it slow not to cum after a few strokes already.  I heard
someone on a bike passing by, and two cars.  I peeked between my eyelids
one time, seeing the older sister of another friend of mine passing by on
her bike.  She didn't look up luckily.  I don't think anyone saw.  Nothing
was shouted or called out at me at least, the cars didn't honk.  I came so
hard and intensely though that I thought my heart would burst through my
chest.  But I knew what I wanted to do now.  I wanted more of this.  I
wanted to show off to everyone.

   The opportunity arose a year later.  Word of my antics had gotten around
at school.  I always was bullied a lot and one of those bullies, probably
more or less as a joke, told me to drop my pants and wank in the schoolyard
during recess.  I'd show him.  So I did it.  Ignoring all warnings from my
sensible mind and pushing them aside, going for it.  I dropped my pants
down around my ankles in the middle of the crowded yard.  A large, several
rows thick circle formed around me soon enough.  I still remember the
shouts and the chanting, the laughter, pointing and yelling.  The piercing
stares.

   I kept going for almost 10 minutes I think, it felt like half an hour
but time stretches for me when I do my thing.  I was well underway for my
third orgasm before a teacher had worked himself through the crowd and
roughly dragged me inside the school by my arm.  I had to report to the
headmaster and was suspended for a month I believe.  My parents were
informed and I had to visit a shrink to see what was wrong with me.

   They tested me psychologically there.  From an IQ test to ink blotches
to tests with dolls representing my parents and words on cards.  I had to
put the cards in boxes in front of the dolls if my mind serves me right.  I
now know they were afraid I had been abused by my parents.  But I wasn't.
So nothing came out of that all.  In later life I found the shrinks report
which basically stated that there wasn't much wrong with me that they could
find except that I was doing it as a cry for attention and that I liked
putting myself on a pedestal, singling myself out.  I don't recall the
exact wording anymore.

   Even with the shrink visits and the suspension.  I always have stayed
with the opinion that it was worth it.  I don't regret doing it one bit and
I still have that event burned in my mind as one of my most thrilling
exhibitionistic escapades.  I even still use the thought of it today when I
jack off.  I have never since had such an engaged audience cheering me on.
I cherish the memory deeply.

   Anyway, after that things sort of toned down a bit.  Others didn't want
to play with me in that way anymore.  Maybe school, parents or the shrink
had something to do with that.  I don't know.  To make matters worse others
started calling me gay and making fun of me.  There's nothing wrong with
being gay of course, I know that now.  But back then I wasn't sure about my
own sexuality and had always thought that I'd eventually get interested in
girls.  That, and the way they were saying it hurt a lot.  Even the friends
I used to play with had by now gotten girlfriends of their own and started
name calling me.  The hypocrites.  They didn't so much seem to mind when I
had their dick between my lips before.

   On a side-note: I nowadays like to combine my addiction to sucking cock
with my exhibitionism.  I like to be seen with one or preferably more stuck
deep in my mouth.
   **Next up: My late teens, early twenties.**