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                                            WomenÕs Rights


         It has been said that I do not believe in womenÕs rights.  This is 
totally false.  Where do these lies keep coming from?  To put this 
particular piece of calumny to rest, allow me to speak for a moment on 
womenÕs rights.  I, holy joe, belive that women are fully entitled to the 
following rights:

         1.  A woman has the right to get pregnant.
         2.  A woman has the right to fix me dinner.
         3.  A woman has the right to clean up the dinner table after IÕm 
finished eating.
         4.  A woman has the right to clean the toilet.
         5.  A woman has the right to do my laundry.
         6.  A woman has the right to wear a corset, garters, lace mittens and 
stockings to bed with me.
         7.  A woman has the right to an education, particularly, to learn 
about sex when sheÕs 8-years-old.
         8.  A woman still living with her parents has the right to date 
whomever she pleases, no matter how much her father and mother donÕt 
like the guy, or his motorcycle.
         9.  A woman has the right to feed my dog.
         10.  A woman has the right to see that my dog gets his daily walk, 
and to clean up his poop with a pooper-scooper.
         11.  A woman has the right to keep quiet when me and my dog are 
eating.
         12.  A woman has the right to find something to do when IÕm 
watching wrestling on Friday and Saturday night, provided itÕs knitting, 
sewing, or doing more of my laundry.
         
         So, just as we have the Ten Commandments, we now have the Twelve 
Rights of Women.  Oh, yes.  And there is one more right:

         13.  A woman has the right to step aside when I meet a new woman, 
and decide to have two wives instead of one.

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Copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.