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Andrew Roller Presents
NAUGHTY NAKED DREAMGIRLS
in
BIKINI BRIGADE
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Chapter Four
Our wrists were tied tightly behind us. The gingermen did it, using
long strands of black licorice. I struggled. I could not break free. My
bosoms threatened to pop free of my top, as I wriggled against my bonds,
but my wrists were bound irretrievably together.
I was forced to sit and endure long, curious stares from the
gingermen as the carriage bumped down the beach and out, through a pass
in the cliffs to the south west, onto a road made of pop rocks. Katie sat
beside me. She sobbed a little, but it was fruitless. We were headed for
Licorice Lad and there was nothing we could do to prevent it.
We met up with a column of gingermen. The carriage stopped briefly.
The goateed man, whose name was Freddie Fruitcake, got out of the
carriage, along with one of the gingermen guards. Freddie said something
to the column of gingermen. Then both of them got back in the carriage.
We rolled on, leaving the column behind.
ÒMy nose itches,Ó Katie announced. I looked at her. She had a small,
pug nose, and she wriggled it. The gingerman sitting next to her reached
over to her face. He brushed her nose with his big, sugared hand. Katie
started to say Ôthank youÕ, then remembered who it was whoÕd helped her.
She sobbed. ÒPlease let me go,Ó Katie told the gingerman. He looked at
her with vacant eyes. She bent her head down and sobbed more loudly, but
he appeared unmoved. I felt a sinking in my belly. We were captive, like
birds hunted down and clipped by their wings to prevent us flying away. I
tossed back my blonde hair. It was almost dry now. My suit, too, except
where I sat on it, had dried. I felt like a fish lured from the ocean. The
bats hadnÕt gotten us, but a genteel-looking man with a royal carriage had.
I listened to the clip-clopping of the Clydesdales. They were such
pretty horses. What a pity to have them working for such a despicable boy
as Licorice Lad, I thought. I leaned out past the big gingerman sitting
beside me. I looked past his sugared chest through the carriageÕs window.
Meadows began to give way to the gradual slopes of hills.
ÒHow far is it to Licorice Lad?Ó I asked the gingerman sitting beside
me. He remained silent. I asked again. He said nothing. He stared
straight ahead, stolid, unmoving. He seemed to take pleasure in ignoring
my question.
Across from me, the other gingermen gazed at my breasts. They
watched with the fascination of children as the jogging of the carriage
made my bosoms jostle within my top. I wondered what theyÕd do if my
breasts popped out. Did they regard my top as some kind of needed
restraint, that would have to be readjusted if it allowed my breasts their
liberty? Or were they waiting, lasciviously, to witness the spectacle of
my nude mammaries bouncing freely during our ride?
Seeing the gingermen stare at me made my nipples stand up. This
heightend their interest, though they said nothing, only stared. Did they
fear that my nipples, in being allowed to poke into my bra, might have too
much freedom? And what would they do about it, if they did decide my
nipples must be better restrained? I would have welcomed a coat, or a
blouse. But they, I feared, staring at my nipples, might choose a more
permanent method of keeping my nipples down: scissors. The thought
made me gasp. I hoped they didnÕt have any scissors in Candyland.
Our less than gentlemanly host, Freddie Fruitcake, sat and did
paperwork. He seemed to be organizing something, shuffling sheaves of
paper and writing numbers and notes to himself. Katie tried sobbing
louder. In response, he pulled earplugs from a pocket in his parachute
pants and stuck them in his ears.
ÒShe could be gagged,Ó a gingerman sitting next to Freddie
suggested.
ÒIt is no matter,Ó Freddie answered. ÒLet them cry. TheyÕll settle
down in time. No need to make them unduly uncomfortable.Ó
The incline of the hills surrounding us gradually became steeper.
Pine trees began to appear. Interspersed with them was an occasional
candy cane. I saw a sign. It stood next to one of the candy canes. It was
made of peanut brittle. Written on it, in black licorice, were the words,
ÒPeppermint ForestÓ.
We passed out of the meadows and into a lightly wooded area. In
amongst the trees, outnumbering them, were tall candy canes. The forest,
made of both trees and canes, was not dense, like where weÕd parked our
jeep. There remained plenty of open grass between them.
ÒLook! Big candy canes!Ó I said to Katie. She forgot her sniffling and
gazed wide-eyed out the window.
ÒI want one,Ó Katie said.
ÒThere will be all manner of sweets at the SultanÕs, including candy
canes,Ó Freddie said dismissively.
ÒI want one now,Ó Katie said.
ÒSo did Veruca Salt,Ó Freddie answered. His face, studying his
paperwork, betrayed a slight grin. He was obviously pleased with his
remark. Katie frowned.
ÒThe girl in Willie Wonka,Ó I whispered to her.
ÒSheÕs a spoiled brat,Ó Katie said.
We travelled in silence. We gazed at the canes. They were big and
elegantly strong. I liked the gentle curving of the red and the white
stripes up their shafts. The sun glinted off the tops of them. They made
pretty shadows on the ground.
ÒI have to go potty,Ó Katie declared.
Freddie looked up. He lifted a hand and rapped on the carriage wall
behind him. The coachman sat beyond. I heard him call to the horses to
cease their forward progression.
ÒSee to their needs,Ó Freddie instructed the gingermen.
Our wrists were untied. We were offloaded from the coach. The
gingermen led us into the grass. They stood around us.
ÒCould we have some privacy?Ó I asked the nearest gingerman. He
stared at me. He blinked.
ÒTurn around,Ó he told the others. ÒI shall watch them.Ó
ÒYou too!Ó Katie said to him. ÒGo Ôway. Let us poop in peace.Ó
ÒSorry, but itÕs not permissible,Ó Freddie, stepping down from the
carriage and walking over to us, said. ÒAt least one of them must watch
you at all times, and at close range. Gingermen are not the fastest of
runners, and I do not wish to tire myself trying to catch you if you should
run. Please, squat down and take care of your needs. The bush there has
soft leaves. You will find it satisfactory for wiping yourself.Ó
ÒThis is horrible,Ó I told Freddie.
ÒIt cannot be helped, my dear,Ó Freddie said. He turned partly away
from us and unzipped his pants. He produced his penis and urinated into
the grass. The gingermen, clad in boots and chocolate-colored pants,
turned away from us and peed. One remained staring at us, waiting while
we gathered our nerve to do our business in public.
ÒOh!Ó I sighed, at last, disgusted with my situation. I undid the
bikini ties at my hips. I pulled my panties out of my asscrack and plucked
the fabric from between the lips of my cunt. I squatted. The grass
smelled sweet, like spring clover. Katie undid her bikini bottom and
squatted beside me. We clasped hands.
ÒOh, IÕm pooping a long one,Ó Katie said to me, her eyes widening.
ÒI only have to pee,Ó I replied.
ÒI think itÕs all those Doritos I ate,Ó Katie told me. ÒI wonder if Jay
Leno poops long ones?Ó
I smelled her poop as it began to come out. It smelled, rather
curiously, like a mix between chocolate and Doritos. Gradually the odor
became more and more one of chocolate. At the same time, I smelled
lemonade, light and tangy. That, I guessed, was me. Katie began peeing
too.
We finished. Katie plucked leaves from a small bush next to her and
passed some of its leaves to me. We wiped ourselves. We stood up,
careful not to step in our poop and our pee, and re-tied our bikini bottoms.
One of the gingermen went to the carriage and returned with a spade. He
shoveled some dirt from the meadow and plopped it over KatieÕs turds. He
also buried the leaves weÕd wiped with.
Suddenly, Katie pulled on my arm.
ÒLook!Ó Katie cried. I gazed up, following her finger, which pointed
skyward. A flock of eclair erections passed overhead. ÒOh, cockies!Ó
Katie cried, merging, perhaps, the word ÔhorseyÕ with ÔcockÕ. ÒCockies!
Come and save us!Ó Katie shouted in a childish, high-pitched voice. But
they were far overhead. We watched, tears welling in my eyes and
streaming silently down her cheeks, as the beasts flew, with marvelous
freedom, into the setting sun.
ÒLetÕs go,Ó Freddie Fruitcake announced. ÒWeÕll make a little more
distance, and then weÕll settle in for the night.Ó
Unceremoniously Katie and I were retied. I felt like a cow on a
cattle drive. We at least had the use of a carriage. Otherwise, we seemed
to be little more than chattles. We were loaded aboard. The gingermen
took their seats. Freddie sat across from us and rapped with his fist on
the carriage wall to signal the coachman to get underway. I heard the
long, cracking sound of a whip. The Clydesdales began moving. Their
hooves and the wheels of the carriage kicked up a scent of dust. It
smelled of pop rocks.
Freddie, despicable though he was, had the courtesy to make camp in
a part of the thickening woods where there was a pool. It was a natural
depression in the earth, fed by an underground spring. The water was
clear, glistening. It gave off a soft glow of heat into the air. It was
surrounded by bushes. They could be used as soap, I saw, just like the
berries Katie and I had bathed with that morning.
ÒI donÕt wanna take a bath!Ó Katie told Freddie. I stood holding her
hand. We gazed at the bubbling water. One of the gingermen, having untied
us, laid our bonds in the grass by the pool.
ÒWe shall make camp here for the night, and you girls will both take
a bath,Ó Freddie said. ÒGuard, fetch my crop,Ó he said. A gingerman
walked to the carriage and returned with a riding crop. He handed it to
Freddie. The man swung it through the air.
ÒThis can be used on horses, or it can be used on recalcitrant little
girls,Ó Freddie said. I shivered. I wrapped one of my arms about my
middle. It was cooler up here in the mountains than it had been along the
bluffs, or in BoswellÕs candy apple forest.
ÒCome on,Ó I said to Katie. I dipped a toe into the pool. ÒLetÕs just
pretend theyÕre not here. WeÕll have a fine bath.Ó
ÒOhhhh!Ó Katie said disgustedly. I was glad she was no longer crying.
Now she was simply displeased; like a girl denied a very important toy. In
this case, it was her privacy. With a cross, mopey look on her face, she
reached behind herself. She undid her bra. The gingermenÕs eyes stared as
her bosoms sprang free of the cups.
ÒIt is alright,Ó Freddie told the Gingermen. ÒIt is not needed to keep
her captive. It is, rather, for the purpose of bodily privacy or, considering
how skimpy her swimsuit is, for ornamentation.Ó
ÒMy bikini isnÕt a ornament!Ó Katie said crossly. ÒItÕs the very
latest style. Just what you need to go swimming!Ó
ÒAnd hers?Ó Freddie asked. He placed the tip of his riding crop in his
mouth and sucked upon it. He looked at me.
ÒSheÕs wearing one of mine,Ó Katie explained. ÒThatÕs why itÕs too
little for her. SheÕs bigger than me.Ó
ÒYes,Ó Freddie said. He watched me as I undid my top. My breasts
spilled out of it and hung perkily on my chest. Twin peaks presented
themselves at the tips of my breasts.
ÒDo you enjoy being watched?Ó Freddie asked me.
ÒNo!Ó I said. ÒItÕs cold.Ó But I wasnÕt sure. The gingermen were
large, and impressive in a dour, no-nonsense sort of way. They were tall
and silent. The only question was, were they handsome? Perhaps, if you
like big, sugary guys.
We took off our bottoms and dropped them on the grass next to our
discarded tops. Then we took each othersÕ hands, Katie and I, and stepped
into the pool.
ÒOh! ItÕs nice and warm!Ó Katie said.
ÒMmmm,Ó I answered.
The gingermen built a fire. Sleeping bags were unrolled. Dinner was
cooked; fruitcake and fried berries, topped with molasses tapped from a
tree. Coffee was brewed. Katie and I played in the pool. Freddie, having
urged us to get into the pool, eventually had to threaten us with his crop
to make us quit playing and get out. The gingermen kept our portion of the
food and the coffee warm until we were dry and ready to eat.
ÒI donÕt like coffee,Ó Katie told the gingerman who served as our
cook.
ÒIt is no problem. I have fruit punch also,Ó the gingerman murmured.
He was big and heavy-set. He did his cooking with the same stolid
obedience heÕd shown in doing his guard duties. Katie and I sat on sleeping
bags near the fire, wrapped in blankets. We ate our dinner. We gazed up at
the stars. Katie whispered to me that she wished the ÔcockiesÕ would
return, perhaps land and rescue us, but we saw no sign of them.
At daybreak we got underway again. We travelled all day, stopping
only for lunch and to let Katie and me use the bathroom. Always it was
the same, one or more of the guards staring at us while we relieved
ourselves. There were no helpful bushes at some of the stops. However,
the guard who had served as our cook also made himself available for our
bathroom needs. He had picked some of the special leaves we needed to
wipe, at our earlier stops. He passed us leaves when we needed them.
When we were through, one of the guards shoveled dirt over any poop weÕd
made.
Our carriage was high up in the hills by evening. For miles around all
we could see were candy canes and pine trees. Sometimes they closed in
on us thickly. At other times they covered the ground more sparsely. It
was cool, cooler than it had been on the plains by the bluffs, or in the
candy apple forest. But it wasnÕt unpleasantly cool. Candyland, despite
our plight, always seemed to find a way to keep itself agreeable. Katie
and I looked for the flying cocks, but saw only ducks and geese. Katie
tried honking like the geese, hoping they might land and rescue us. It was
no use, save to provoke a round of laughter from the guards.
We pulled up in the gathering night before a log cabin. It was made
of candy canes. Around it pines and canes stood tall, interspersed with
grass.
ÒI say! Visitors?Ó a pleasant voice called. It was melodic. It
seemed to come from the cabin. A moment later I heard a tuneful whistle,
like a flute or a piccolo. I gazed at the cabin. I saw its door swing open.
Out stepped a man wearing a red-striped lumberjackÕs suit. He wore
overalls, a heavy shirt. He had a cap on his head. Except for his boots,
which were solid red, all his clothing was imprinted with candy cane
stripes. He wore a pony tail that hung out of the back of his cap. Seeing
us, he kicked up his heels. He blew on a flute-shaped instrument in his
hand and whistled a quick tune.
Our wrists were untied by the gingermen. We were offloaded from
the carriage. The man with the piccolo bowed to us.
ÒWelcome to my happy hilltop,Ó he said. ÒIÕm Peppermint Pete! And
I can see by the nature of your transport, a very scrumptious sugar plum
coach, that you are guests of the Sultan.Ó
ÒWeÕre prisoners!Ó Katie said. Her face was disconsolate.
ÒPrisoners?!Ó Peppermint Pete said. He looked shocked. Then he
lifted his piccolo and said, ÒNonetheless, I can play you a happy tune. ItÕs
called the ÔI Love LicoriceÕ tune! ItÕs my very favorite, except for the ÔI
Love PeppermintÕ tune. But I seem to have forgotten the notes to that one,
for some reason. HereÕs how it goes:
ÒI Love Licorice!
Licorice is for me!
Black and thick and gooey
And ever so sweet!
ÒSing along, girls!Ó Pete declared. He began blowing on his piccolo. I
felt overwhelmed. It seemed a very happy tune. The air all around us was
deeply scented with peppermint. Katie, beside me, kicked up her heels and
began dancing.
ÒOh, I love licorice!
ÒLicorice is for me!
ÒItÕs black and itÕs all gooey
ÒAnd I am very sweet!Ó Katie sang, forgetting a few of the songÕs
words and making up new ones in their place.
ÒOh, I love licorice too!Ó I cried. I danced to the tune and then,
suddenly, I grabbed KatieÕs arm. ÒKatie!Ó I said. ÒDonÕt you see? ItÕs a
song Licorice Lad would want us to sing! HeÕs trying to win over our
minds!Ó
ÒOook!Ó Katie said. Like me, she suddenly remembered BoswellÕs
warning.
ÒSo? Licorice is a very fine candy and, even though I didnÕt care for
him before, I like Licorice Lad now,Ó Peppermint Pete said. He ceased
playing. ÒAnd, girls,Ó he said, extending his arm, gesturing to all the wide
woods around us. ÒSoon, everyone in the world will eat nothing but
peppermint. And perhaps just a bit of black licorice. All because a fine
lad like Licorice Lad is now in charge of Candyland!Ó
ÒWeÕll be staying the night, if you donÕt mind,Ó Freddie Fruitcake
said to Peppermint Pete.
ÒOnly if you have a big, peppermint dinner on me!Ó Peppermint Pete
said.
ÒYes, yes, of course,Ó Freddie answered. ÒPlease, let us enjoy your
wonderful Peppermint forest with you.Ó
We spent the night with Peppermint Pete. He played songs for us on
his piccolo. Freddie asked, as a personal favor, that he play only songs
about peppermint, which he tried to, but he seemed not to remember any.
So Freddie had him play ÔOld McDonaldÕ, and ÔMy SusannaÕ, and other songs,
so long as they werenÕt about licorice.
ÒLicorice, IÕm afraid, gives me indigestion,Ó Freddie explained.
ÒThough it is the worldÕs finest candy,Ó he added hastily, under suspicious
stares from our guards. ÒIt and peppermint. And fruitcake, of course.
MustnÕt forget fruitcake!Ó
The guards did not sing, but merely watched. Peppermint Pete
danced about. Katie danced too, as did I, and Freddie, and the unassuming
man who drove the coach. Katie and I felt happy, despite our captivity.
Licorice Lad was, Freddie told us, still many miles away, and we may as
well enjoy the songs and the evening. We did. It was hardly possible to
feel sad, when listening to Peppermint Pete play so well on his piccolo.
The last song of the night was titled ÒIn Honor of Mr. Harris.Ó It
was, Pete, said, written to the memory of a Mr. Harris and a Mr. Munigant.
It made Katie and me sleepy, for it had a touch of sadness to it. Katie fell
asleep first, laying her head drowsily on my tummy. Soon I succumbed. I
fell asleep amidst the rich smell of pines and peppermints.
Rain dripped from the tip of Ms. Matilda BrunswaldÕs long nose. She
glowered at the meadow lying before her. In the distance, the sound of
breakers rolling ashore could be heard. A vast sea stretched beyond the
bluffs. The sky was overcast.
ÒDratted rain!Ó Ms. Matilda Brunswald cursed. ÒFirst our van gets
stuck in the mud, and now itÕs raining!Ó
ÒIt beats a talking bear,Ó the small, bald-headed man behind her
offered.
ÒQuiet, Al,Ó Matilda snapped. ÒWhen I want a manÕs opinion, IÕll ask
for it.Ó
A woman standing beside the man named Al gazed at the ocean
beyond the bluffs.
ÒPerhaps the children are in the ocean,Ó the woman offered. She was
plump, like Ms. Matilda Brunswald, but with a stockier build.
ÒIn the ocean!Ó a tall woman with a hooked nose said scornfully.
ÒAnd weÕre in Candyland. Right!Ó
ÒThe candy apples are pretty good,Ó Al said. He was holding one. He
bit into it.
Ms. Matilda Brunswald spun about. She knocked the apple out of AlÕs
hand, into the grass.
ÒNow, listen up,Ó Matilda said angrily. ÒAffidavit Al, if I see you
eating again, youÕre going to be *in* that ocean, do you understand?Ó Al
shrank under MatildaÕs gaze and said nothing. He looked with remorse at
the candy apple lying on the ground. Behind him, a whole forest brimmed
with candy apples, but he knew he couldnÕt go pick more without MatildaÕs
permission. ÒAnd as for you, Ms. Wilma Writ,Ó Matilda said to the stocky
woman. ÒIf you have any more *dumb* suggestions, keep them to yourself!
Do you understand? The ocean. Indeed! First our van gets stuck, then we
meet some *idiot* in a bear costume, then we get rained on! Next a boat
will appear, is that it? NoahÕs ark will come sailing up and weÕll go
search the goddam ocean!Ó
ÒWe could turn back,Ó the tall woman said, in a rather disinterested
way, as if the whole expedition was, to her mind, a complete waste of
time.
ÒGlenda Guilty!Ó Matilda cried. ÒA child is MISSING! Two of them, in
fact. It is our responsibility to find them. After all, they could be with a
Man!Ó
ÒOh, look! A rainbow!Ó the woman named Wilma shouted. Matilda
turned and looked out over the bluffs, toward the sea.
ÒI do declare. ThatÕs the finest rainbow IÕve ever seen!Ó Matilda
admitted. It was a huge, sparkling, colorful rainbow. It hadnÕt been in the
sky a moment before. Yet now there it was, and it seemed to descend to
the very meadow they were standing in.
ÒIt looks solid enough to walk on,Ó Al said.
ÒIndeed it does,Ó Matilda said. She stepped forward. The grass clung
wetly to her feet. She trod through it, the other three people following
her. They were all dressed in business attire. Al carried a notebook.
Glenda had a briefcase.
Matilda walked to the edge of the bluff.
ÒWatch out!Ó Al cried. Matilda put her foot out into the air beyond
the bluff.
ÒIÕm standing on the damn thing,Ó Matilda said. For, in addition to
being in the air, her foot was also touching the end of the beautiful
rainbow.
ÒJust like you to want to walk on it,Ó Glenda said scornfully.
ÒNo-- look!Ó Matilda said. She put her other foot out.
ÒMy God! Get back!Ó Al cried.
Matilda gazed triumphantly down the sheer face of the bluff. Below
her there was a beach, partly of white sand, intermixed with black. A
blacker beach ran along the coast to the south west.
ÒIÕm God!Ó Matilda announced. ÒIÕm standing on thin air!Ó
ÒYouÕre standing on the rainbow,Ó Glenda said.
Matilda looked down at the sea, at the slow roll of the waves, at the
sky beyond.
ÒYes, well, I suppose I am standing on the rainbow, but IÕm also
standing on air. IN air. In thin air!Ó Matilda crowed. ÒDo any of you have a
camera?Ó she asked.
ÒPlease, step back!Ó Al whined. He cringed, his hands trying to cover
his eyes, but afraid to stop looking, lest the rainbow disappear, and
Matilda drop to the rocks below.
ÒNot only am I not going to step back,Ó Matilda said, surveying her
position. ÒIÕm going to go out more!Ó She turned. She followed the broad,
glistening rainbow farther out. ÒYou see?Ó Matilda said, turning again to
her companions. She lifted her arms. ÒItÕs perfectly safe. IÕll bet you
those two girls went this way. TheyÕre somewhere up ahead, on this
rainbow, or at the other end of it. Come on! Al! Get your scrawny ass out
here! WeÕre following this rainbow and weÕre going to find those two
missing girls!Ó
ÒOh, me!Ó Wilma said. She extended a foot, gingerly, out into the
thin air where the rainbow touched the edge of the bluff.
ÒThis is ridic-- I AM walking on air!Ó Glenda said, surprised, as she
extended her own foot.
ÒCanÕt we just stay in the nice forest and eat candy apples?!Ó Al
whined.
ÒShut up and come on!Ó Glenda snapped to Al. ÒWeÕre on government
business!Ó She grabbed Al by the lapel of his coat. She yanked him out to
the air, where the rainbow magically supported his feet.
ÒMy God IÕm going to DIE!Ó Al cried. He dropped his notebook. It hit
the edge of the rainbow and bounced off it. With a shriek from Al, they all
watched as the notebook fell down the side of the cliff. It slammed into
the rocks below them. Its papers flew out and into the water gushing
around the rocks.
ÒStay on the rainbow. ThatÕs an order,Ó Matilda said. There was a
trace of fear in her voice.
ÒCanÕt we please turn back?Ó Wilma, quite shaken by the sight of the
notebook, asked.
ÒMatilda Brunswald does not turn back!Ó Ms. Matilda Brunswald said,
raising her finger and pointing at the sky. ÒNot where a missing childÕs
concerned! Especially when she might be with a man. A stranger! A
childÕs in danger, and possibly with a stranger!Ó
ÒWhere thereÕs a stranger, there is danger,Ó Glenda agreed, nodding.
Nonetheless she looked with a tinge of fear at the rocks lying below them.
ÒStranger danger,Ó Wilma said.
ÒOh, I hope I remain a stranger to those rocks!Ó Al said. He was
shaking.
ÒCome along, Al,Ó Glenda said. She tugged on his lapel. ÒGoverment
business.Ó She strode forward, a bit tentatively, following Matilda, who
walked purposefully out into thin air, following the rainbow.
Sitting on the throne in the Citadel of Sweets, Licorice Lad was
holding court. He wore the big turban covered with candy. He sat with his
feet dangling off the end of the large throne. Before him, standing
between two gingerbread men, was a small troll.
ÒTommy Troll, why have you been brought before me?Ó Licorice Lad
asked in an angry voice.
ÒHe has been bad, Master,Ó a gingerman standing next to the troll
announced.
ÒAnd what is the nature of his crime?Ó Licorice Lad asked.
ÒHe has made this machine, O Great Sultan,Ó the gingerman standing
on the other side of the troll announced. He lifted up an object in his
hands. ÒHe used it to turn one of Gumdrop GuyÕs sugar-coated mountains
into a mountain covered with salt!Ó
ÒHee! Heeee!Ó the troll chortled.
ÒHmmm,Ó Licorice Lad said. He settled his chin into one of his
palms. ÒClever, if I do say so myself. But a crime, nonetheless. And as
Sultan it is my duty to enforce the law.Ó
ÒOh, please! DonÕt punish me!Ó Tommy Troll whined.
ÒTommy, youÕre nothing but trouble,Ó Licorice Lad said. ÒItÕs the
dungeon for you, and no two ways about it.Ó
ÒNo, please!Ó Tommy said. He raised his hands in imprecation. ÒIÕve
spent five of the last seven years sitting in that dungeon!Ó
ÒThatÕs because you keep committing crimes!Ó Licorice Lad said,
looking slightly exasperated. ÒDid you think just because IÕd taken over as
Sultan that you could do as you pleased?Ó
ÒOh, but I could help you, great new Sultan!Ó Tommy said. ÒIt is
rumored that you desire two girls. Two human visitors. Just as my
machine turned sugar to salt it could, with a few adjustments, turn them
into candy! Then theyÕd never be able to return home!Ó
Licorice Lad sat up.
ÒReally?Ó he asked.
ÒOh, yes. I wouldnÕt fool you, great Sultan Licorice Lad, lord of us
all!Ó the troll said. ÒFirst, I would have to adjust my machine. Then I
would have to turn it on. It would take a little while. The girls wouldnÕt
turn to candy right away. But, gradually, they would begin to turn into
candy. Once the process was complete it would be impossible for them to
go through the Peppermint Portal. For, as you know, only humans can go
through the Peppermint Portal. Beings like us, made of candy, cannot!Ó
ÒWell I know it, else IÕd have gone already, and own two worlds
instead of one,Ó Licorice Lad said. He raised his hand with a flourish.
ÒVery well. It is hereby decreed, by me, that Tommy Troll be permitted to
be at liberty, for the purpose of doing as heÕs promised. Make that damn
thing work, Tommy,Ó Licorice Lad said. Then he scowled. ÒAnd if this is
another one of your tricks, Tommy, donÕt think youÕll get away with it.
Here in MY realm weÕre going to have Law and Order! There will be none of
the ÔLÕ word while Licorice Lad is in charge!Ó
The gingerbread guards nodded.
ÒOh, no, great Sultan Licorice Lad, lord of us all! I would not ask for
leniency, or liberality,Ó the troll said. ÒThe machine will work, just as
IÕve promised!Ó
ÒVery well,Ó Licorice Lad said. ÒMy court is adjourned.Ó
30
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