--------------------------------------------------------------- PROBLEMS? Please try viewing this with Netscape Navigator. --------------------------------------------------------------- _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ Andrew Roller Presents GOLD DIGGERS _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ Chapter One Amber was engrossed in a small, palm-sized magazine. It had a glossy cover. It read, ÒAmazing Tales of Galactic Wonder.Ó A rocketship on the cover streaked across a blazing, starlit sky. Somewhere in the coverÕs far lower right corner a blue-green planet glimmered. Amber read on her belly. Her small bottom stuck up behind her. It was bare. Absently she flexed her bottomÕs plump cheeks as she read. Her legs were bent at the knees. Her feet sailed above her bottom in gliding circles. She was twiddling her toes. ÒWhoÕre those shits?Ó Amber said aloud. Jim looked up. But the girl was only reading from the text. He looked at her bottom. He grinned. She was a sweet girl. And quite smackable. ÒAmber, donÕt swear,Ó Jim said in a loud, fatherly voice. It was bad enough, all heÕd gotten her into. He didnÕt need to be downgrading her language as well. Amber looked over her shoulder at Jim. Her shoulder was small, bare. Like her bottom. Her face was elfin. She had big eyes. She gazed at Jim. Then she stuck out her tongue. ÒAnd whoÕs that big shit?Ó Amber asked, looking at Jim. She giggled. Then she turned back to her magazine. ÒWhoÕre those shits?Ó Amber said. She traced her finger across the text. Then she read on, but silently. ÒWhoÕre those shits?Ó Delta asked. He was a boy, perhaps 15, staring out into space. ÒThe planet is called ÔearthÕ,Ó the Mindserve answered. It was an android. It stood next to the boy. ÒThanks, Cock,Ó Delta said to the android. It always amused him to call him ÔCock.Õ The Mindserve was a walking encyclopedia of knowledge, but it had no sexual organs. A second boy appeared. He walked up to Delta and the Mindserve. He stared at the planet out beyond the glass of the Spaceport. His name was Johnnie and he took knowledge too seriously. He asked, ÒWhatÕs ÔearthÕ mean?Ó They all gazed at the planet. ÒIt means,Ó Cock paused. ÒIt means ÔdirtÕ.Ó ÒVery imaginative race,Ó Johnnie replied. The ship glided lower toward the planet. It was blue green. It circled an average star. It was the third planet out from that star. Delta regarded the planet. He read its Tech Data, such as it was, as their shipÕs computer brought it up onto viewscreens under the Spaceport. Outside the Spaceport a vast wealth of stars glittered. Earth hung in the screenÕs lower right corner. It grew larger as their space ship approached it. ÒBumpkinville,Ó Delta snorted. He guided the ship in closer toward the planet. He turned to the boy beside him. ÒHey Johnnie,Ó Delta said. ÒYou know those cherry bombs in the back of our ship that we use to go prospecting?Ó ÒFor gold? The A-bombs?Ó Johnnie asked. ÒYah,Ó Delta nodded. ÒWe should do a flyby of those bumpkinsÕ planet... whatÕs it called, Cock?Ó ÒEarth,Ó the Mindserve replied. ÒYeah, ÔdirtÕ,Ó Delta corrected. ÒWe should do a flyby of dirtball there and drop two or three A-bombs. Start a dirtball war.Ó ÒThermonuclear war,Ó Cock corrected. ÒThey appear to possess the appropriate technological level. Our sensors are picking up numerous H- bomb silos on the planetÕs surface,Ó Cock said. ÒWhoa!Ó Johnnie said. ÒThose ÔbumpkinsÕ have *some* planetary defense, Delt. Pull up or weÕre the ones whoÕre gonna get our backsides shot off.Ó ÒNah,Ó Delta answered. ÒTheir missiles only go up, then back down. No threat to us at all. But we could start a Thermonuclear holiday for them if we dropped a few cherry bombs. Wanna do it?Ó Johnnie considered. ÒI think, based on their technological level, they would have exhausted most of their gold supply. Probably their diamonds, platinum too. WeÕre better off sticking to their asteroid belt. ItÕs rich, undefended... they donÕt even know whatÕs out there.Ó Delta laughed. ÒWaitÕll they get there and find itÕs all dug up.Ó ÒTheyÕll consider that an important insight into life in the universe. Probably thank us,Ó Johnnie said offhandedly. ÒYeah, we could land and be gods,Ó Delta mused. ÒWe need to take what weÕve already dug up and go home,Ó Johnnie said. ÒPull the ship up. I donÕt like all those silos.Ó ÒShit!Ó Delta said to Johnnie. ÒLook, IÕll do a swoop, drop a cherry bomb, and *prove* to you all those missiles just drop back onto the planet, okay? Here...Ó Johnnie felt his weight alter slightly as their ship shot lower for a pass across the face of the planet. ÒIt will disrupt their pace of technological advance,Ó Cock warned. ÒOh, yeah.. weÕll postpone the coming of the Bronze Age by a million years. Who cares?Ó Delta replied. ÒNow watch, Johnnie.Ó Somewhere along the underside of their ship the snouts of A-bomb launchers appeared. ÒDelt, are you sure?Ó Johnnie asked. He blinked and a manifest of their cargo from the asteroid belt flashed onscreen. It was a good haul. TheyÕd live free and easy on Betazoid for at least a week. ÒWatch,Ó Delta said. Johnnie arched his neck slightly and thought he glimpsed the downward glide of one of their cherry bombs. He saw it glint against the planetÕs upper atmosphere and was glad to see his repair of the mechanism on the previous day had been correct. ÒMy child was touched!Ó a female voice screamed across the inside of the ship. ÒLook, IÕm picking up one of their broadcasts,Ó Delta said. He gave a wry grin. ÒThe Stone Age, Live!Ó he crowed. ÒIt will cause her permanent psychological harm... permanent emotional scarring,Ó a composed male voice intoned. ÒHer innocence is totally lost,Ó a woman, perhaps the host of ÔStone Age, LiveÕ as Delt would have called her, declared. For some reason the audience burst into applause. ÒWeÕll be back after these commercials,Ó the host said. ÒYouÕll be back,Ó Delta agreed, nodding. Johnnie watched as the first of their cherry bombs exploded. ÒWashington, D.C.,Ó Johnnie said, blinking, calling up a terrestrial name onto a viewscreen. ÒI wonder what sort of place that is?Ó ÒWas,Ó Delta said. They both watched the explosion. Another, some distance north, followed. ÒNew York,Ó the viewscreen glowed. Their shipÕs computer pronounced the name of each location as it was hit. A third explosion blossomed on the planetÕs surface. ÒHicksville, N.Y.Ó their shipÕs computer announced. The name blared out from a viewscreen. Their ship spoke the location in the barbaric tongue of the inhabitants. On the viewscreen, the names of the places glowed in both the planetÕs alphas and their own, decidedly more advanced, language. Johnnie muted the viewscreenÕs sound so they wouldnÕt have to listen to their ship read out the barbaric pronunciations of the bumpkinsÕ cities. Delta gave a mischievous grin. He touched a dial and their ship scanned the planetÕs surface. ÒNow, watch,Ó Delta said. He pointed. ÒThere. Look. Their silos are starting to open.Ó ÒItÕs a full scale assault!Ó Johnnie screamed. ÒGoddammit pull up, Delta! WeÕre gonna get major damage and I donÕt want to have to repair half the sh--Ó Momentarily, Johnnie and Delta struggled for control of the ship. The Mindserve watched placidly. Delta, being the stronger, won. But he did glide the ship upward to keep his friend happy. After all, Johnnie was the one who oversaw all the mechanical work. Delta liked the way Johnnie made the ship run. Nice and smooth. And fast. ÒStunning,Ó the Mindserve said. It gazed out the Spaceport. It read the viewscreens beneath it. Johnnie forgot the tug-of-war with Delt. He glanced out the Spaceport to see what the Mindserve was watching. But he saw only the mushroom residue of their own bombs on the planetÕs surface. So far. ÒMore,Ó Delta said. There was a slight tinge of awe in his voice. They had dropped their bombs. Three Òcherry bombsÓ. A-bombs. But now much more was being launched. Not from them. From the planet itself. A backside sensor reading of the planetÕs surface glimmered onto a viewscreen. It showed that the other side of the planet was opening up. Blossoming. With thermonuclear bombs. With launches. With upward trajectories. In several places. ÒChina,Ó read the viewscreen. It displayed a map of the other side of the planet, picked up by the sensor scan, supplemented by maps sifted from unprotected planetside computers. ÒRussia.Ó ÒIndia.Ó ÒPakistan.Ó ÒIsrael.Ó ÒIraq.Ó Iraq seemed to offer something less than the standard thermonuclear response, however. Johnnie gave a slight grin when he saw that their ship suffered no threat whatever from IraqÕs missiles. They seemed to have no nuclear warheads at all. ÒIraq believes in peace,Ó Delta said wryly. ÒTheyÕre sending us flowers.Ó ÒCongratulations, Delt. You lit up the whole planet,Ó Johnnie said to his friend. ÒSee?Ó Delta said. He nodded at a viewscreen displayed under their Spaceport. ÒYou can tell already from their missilesÕ flightpaths. All those suckers are falling back to earth. Every one. Not a single one will touch us.Ó ÒYeah,Ó Johnnie agreed. ÒWanna monitor their broadcasts and see what they have to say about it?Ó ÒNot much,Ó Delta said. ÒThey wonÕt be talking too much longer. So long, Bumpkins.Ó Johnnie felt the ship lift higher and faster. They were headed once again for Betazoid. ÒNo ability to take along a living environment,Ó the Mindserve observed. He was reading some Tech Level screens about earth. ÒThey only lived on the planet itself. They possessed no space capable thrust... no engines.Ó ÒSee, Johnnie?Ó Delta said to his friend. ÒThey donÕt *have* any technological level. Look at the screens the Mindserve brought up. No engine capability whatsoever. They couldnÕt go anywhere. They spent their entire existence sitting on that dirtball. A whole universe to explore, and all they ever did was sit in one place.Ó ÒAnd look up,Ó Johnnie said. ÒThey do have some radio telescopes.Ó ÒWow,Ó Delta said wryly. ÒOkay, well, whatever. We bombed Bumpkinville,Ó Johnnie said. He seemed to have lost interest in the subject. Even the coming planet-wide explosion, caused by earthÕs own missiles dropping back down on it, wouldnÕt be worth watching. Their shipÕs long range scanners would have to pick it up for them. That Ôclimax,Õ such as it was, wouldnÕt happen for another half hour. Even earthÕs sea-borne missiles would need another eight minutes to reach their destinations. They could be in the next solar system by then. ÒBetazoid,Ó Delta sat down in a chair. It lifted from the floor to accommodate him. Delta gave the chair a satisfied swivel. He liked being the Captain. He seemed to have forgotten their bombing run too. A morningÕs lark. They had bombed Ôbumpkinville.Õ It wouldnÕt even be worth mentioning on Betazoid. 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