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Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Sponsored by: Baby Tiffany
Issue No. 330
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Dungeon of Desire
Chapter One
My bikini, so delicate I couldnÕt get it wet, was already moist with
my dew in my crotch. I wondered if IÕd start unravelling there. Worse, all
the water IÕd drunk from the dogÕs dish had yet to be allowed to come out.
I felt a tremor run through me as Miriam led Katy and I into her ballroom.
A dozen guests turned and greeted me with their eyes. All I could do was
shorten my steps and hope they didnÕt see how I was pressing my thighs
together. Sauron, behind me, gave a wicked laugh. He knew I had to go! I
prayed that the others didnÕt.
Fortunately, the other guests were dressed as sexily as I was. The
females, that is. The males wore casual clothes like MasterÕs. As for the
girls, some wore vinyl swimsuits. They promised to get hot in the sun,
but it was night now. Still, their vinyl tops and bottoms had little zippers
on them. The cups of their bras offered zippers for unzipping their
nipples. Their panties, though zipped at the moment, could be undone
where their nether lips were. I wondered if their crotches were as moist
inside those little vinyl swimpouches as mine was. At least, if they had
to pee, they could unzip their lips. My labia lips were contained. I felt the
wetness of my excitement. I slid my hands along my thighs, hoping for a
chance at relief.
Most of the girls were young college girls. They had bodies as
fetching as mine and no inhibitions, apparently, about decking themselves
out in teeny bikinis to show everyone else how terrific they looked. All of
us wore bikinis not meant for the pool. Some were cashmere, like mine
and KatyÕs and MiriamÕs. Others were vinyl, their little zippers dangling
temptingly from half-covered bosoms and cunnies. Still other girls wore
leather, tied up with little string bows where the vinyl bikinis had
zippers. I imagined myself being made to kneel and untie, one by one, the
frustrating little bows that closed themselves over a strawberry blondeÕs
pubic hair. With master commanding me, IÕd no doubt have to use just my
teeth.
ÒHi!Ó the strawberry blonde said to me as I stared nervously at her
swimsuit. She looked at me unabashedly. Her eyes noticed where mine
were on her and she took it as more than I intended. ÒIs this your first
S&M orgy?Ó she asked, addressing my breasts as if they were me.
ÒY-Yes,Ó I replied. My voice trembled and felt my breasts shaking.
ÒIÕm sorry,Ó I added quickly. ÒI have to pee.Ó I gulped. I didnÕt mean to
make the admission but sheÕd looked like she was about to untie my top.
ÒOh!Ó Sharon laughed. I learned her name later, after weÕd fucked.
ÒThereÕs no worry about that! Come over to our pee pool!Ó She took my
hand, something IÕd not expected, or wanted, and led me over to a small
fountain set near the wall.
I tensed. I felt the crowd of people gather behind me. Looking over
my shoulder, quickly, afraid and nervous, I saw that perhaps half the dozen
or so guests had followed me. The rest continued their conversations.
Before me was a small bowl shaped pool made of rock. Within its
glassy surface, along one of its curving sides, lay a stone ledge.
ÒGet in, sit down on the ledge, and hang your feet down,Ó Sharon
explained, her hand still in mine. ÒThen just pee. The water will carry it
away. YouÕre the first of the evening, anyway, so if youÕre scared of
anything thereÕs no need to be. The waterÕs totally pure and natural.
ThereÕs no chlorine or anything, so it wonÕt sting you. ItÕs the same as
your bath water. HavenÕt you ever peed in the bath tub?Ó she laughed. I
saw from her brimming eyes that sheÕd done it at an older age than I had.
ÒWell, yes, when I was a grade-schooler,Ó I admitted. ÒBut IÕm
bigger now.Ó I stuck out my boobs to convince her.
ÒTake your panties off and get in,Ó Sharon told me. ÒYouÕre wiggling
your hips like a preschooler! IÕll pee with you if you like.Ó
ÒNo,Ó I replied. I looked up. Lovely ivy vines climbed the wall. The
pool lay quiet, waiting. Its water was still, but I sensed that somewhere
within it water was silently entering and exiting, passing fresh water in
from pipes and then draining the spent water away, outside, where it
watered the garden that was visible in the moonlight beyond the sliding
glass doors of the ballroom.
I stepped onto a step that led in three easy steps up to the
submerged shelf of the pool.
ÒTake off your bottoms first,Ó Sharon told me. She unclipped my
leash from my collar. Katy and Sauron did not object. The leash, at least,
I was glad to be rid of. Perhaps Miriam wouldnÕt shush me anymore when I
spoke.
I put my thumbs in my panties. They were stuck in my ass crack
again, but I was going to teach them a lesson for once. I didnÕt bother
untying them. I wanted to put them back on after I peed! I slid them down
my legs, wiggling, blushing, needing to pee more than ever.
ÒGod, what an ass!Ó a man behind me proclaimed.
ÒThatÕs another benefit of sitting in the pool,Ó Sharon laughed, happy
that I was obeying her. ÒIt lets you cool your bottom before weÕre all
whipped!Ó
I stopped lowering my panties. They hung round my knees. I looked
at Sharon, then at the others. I felt my bare bottomcheeks huddle and
tighten.
ÒJesus!Ó the man whoÕd admired my ass said. ÒHow old is she?Ó he
asked Sauron.
ÒJust sixteen,Ó Sauron replied. ÒAnd her ass is mine. Both for
punishment and for pleasure.Ó
MAGAZINE REVIEW
by holy joe
Playboy, February 1998, $4.95. Web: http://www.playboy.com
Review: I went to Barnes and Noble today. ItÕs rumored that theyÕre
selling a book by Jock Sturges that features photos of nude children.
However, I had a more pressing need. I got my subscriberÕs copy of
Playboy in the mail yesterday and needed another copy.
Why? Because the centerfold in this issue is really, really great.
ItÕs great on both sides of the centerfold, which means I needed two
centerfolds, so I could look at the front and the back at the same time.
Also, I wanted to sit in the very same public toilet I was sitting in
before, when God spoke to me. Sometimes, when I pray to God while
sitting in that toilet, she offers me guidance on interpreting the
photographs in the magazines IÕm reading.
Perhaps I shouldnÕt call God ÔGod,Õ though. ItÕs actually GodÕs
daughter who speaks to me. SheÕs 8-years-old. SheÕs also a blonde. So,
with that as fair warning, for your erotic edification, I offer GodÕs
interpretations of the February Playboy:
hj: Dear God...
G: ThatÕs GodDESS, you dolt.
hj: Sorry. Dear Goddess, what is happening to Julia (Miss February) on
page 86?
G: SheÕs holding a lollipop.
hj: Yes, but why is she making a face?
G: I used my magical powers to make her lollipop sour, Ôcause IÕm only 8
and sheÕs 18, and has big boobs.
hj: Oh. WhatÕs happening in her centerfold?
G: SheÕs at an elegant bondage club. The other people are wearing masks,
and spandex, but as the new initiate she must wear a sexy baby doll
nightie. It doesnÕt close in back, which is bad news for her, since that
means it shows off her bottom.
hj: I can see that. Nice ass. But are you sure itÕs a bondage club? I mean,
she looks like sheÕs lying on her belly on a nice, comfy bed.
G: Of course she is! As it is written in Pamela (published by Blue Moon
Books): ÒThere was a carpet, a divan, a sideboard, cabinets -- and a bed in
one corner. Bed, it was explained to Pamela, was the best place to birch a
young lady. It added a touch of comfort to the experience.Ó (Page 28).
hj: Oh yeah. I forgot about that. ThatÕs a good book. But why is she eating
chocolates?
G: Chocolate is a sexual stimulant for us girls. Plus, in her case, since
sheÕs about to get spanked, the chocolate hearts sheÕs been given to eat
have been laced with an anesthetic. That way her spanking wonÕt hurt so
much.
hj: Oh. Okay, thatÕs a pretty good interpretation. WhatÕs Julia doing on
page 88?
G: SheÕs brushing her teeth before she goes to the bondage club.
hj: Oh. WhatÕs she doing on page 89?
G: SheÕs in the bath, looking at her tummy.
hj: I can see that.
G: SheÕs checking to see if the lash marks they gave her at the bondage
club, across her tummy, have faded away yet.
hj: Looks like they have.
G: Yep.
hj: How about this awesome girl on page 170... the one whoÕs just received
a giant heart from her boyfriend?
G: It has a lot of candy in it.
hj: Yeah... I figured that.
G: But in the center of the heart, hidden under all that candy, is a riding
crop!
hj: SheÕll be a little surprised when she finds that.
G: Yes! ÔLove hurts,Õ as they say.
hj: Okay, youÕre doing pretty well here, interpreting these photos. WhatÕs
happening on page 172? WhatÕs Jaime Pressly doing in her photo?
G: SheÕs getting a spanking, dolt. I mean, if a girl has her bottom sticking
out like that, and her hand clapped to her forehead, and that sort of look on
her face, and no clothes on, what would you think is happening to her?
hj: I was hoping maybe she was getting a valentine.
G: She is. SheÕs getting her valentine spanking!
hj: YouÕre sort of a perverted Goddess, you know that?
G: If you were only 8, and had no tits, and some guy sitting in a toilet
looking at nude girls, girls with big boobs, asked you questions, what
would you say?
hj: Uh... IÕd probably be jealous and say all those girls with big boobs were
getting spanked.
G: Yep! TheyÕre getting spanked for having big boobs and showing
themselves off in dirty menÕs magazines!
hj: Hmmm, now that you put it that way, your interpretations sound
entirely rational.
G: You stink too much. IÕm not going to answer any more questions from a
guy taking a poop in a toilet stall!
Well, anyway, that was my conversation with her. Besides the
photos, there are some excellent articles in this issue. For instance, ÒWhy
Women Say Yes,Ó on page 60, was very helpful. HereÕs some excerpts:
Lola, age 134: ÒIf he can fog a mirror, IÕll take him. At my age,
beggars canÕt be choosers.Ó
Amy, age 129: ÒHaving fucked every good-looking hunk in the world,
I guess IÕll take most anything that moves now. If necessary, IÕll chase
it.Ó
Gwynnie, age 135: ÒÔHey, Grannie,Õ is all he needs to say to get my
attention. Plus, if he waits for me to take out my teeth, I consider him to
be a real gentleman.Ó
Teri, age 51: ÒIt doesnÕt matter what size he is. Really! If his thing
works, IÕll take it. We donÕt get too many visitors here at the senior
home.Ó
(Note to those who didnÕt know: As a female approaches age 30, she
sheds all her requirements regarding men. Suddenly, it doesnÕt matter if
youÕre a geek. If youÕre wealthy, or look wealthy, or look like you could be
induced to earn a decent living, sheÕll take you. Then you get to enjoy
having:
a. A new car.
b. A new house.
c. A new T.V.
d. A used wife, who wouldnÕt touch you when she was younger, but
now wants to ÔloveÕ you (read: spend all your money).
An article about how to get women over the age of 25 to say ÒYesÓ is
about as valuable as an article on how to find snow in Alaska.)
What else is in this issue? Well, on page 112, thereÕs a photo of a
nude 60-year-old woman. ItÕs September 1963 Playmate Victoria
Valentino, as she appears today. You might think, based on what I just
wrote above, that IÕm pissed at having to look at a 60-year-old woman.
But, actually, IÕm not. One pictureÕs okay. I actually considered seeing her
to be quite educational. I mean, the pictures of her from 1963 are
ravishing! I canÕt quite believe IÕm looking at the same person. I guess IÕll
have to take PlayboyÕs word for it. Anyway, if youÕre wondering why I
agree with Ann Taylor-FlemingÕs statement, ÒThe younger the better,Ó
just take a look at page 112.
Another informative item in this issue is ÒCouch Tomatoes.Ó (Page
64). Two girls from Playboy T.V. pinch each othersÕ nipples and examine
each othersÕ bottoms. A great quote: ÒWeÕre normal girls talking about
sex. ...There are three rules on Night Calls: no last names, no brand names
and... no underwear. It makes for interesting wet spots on the couch at
showÕs end.Ó (Pages 65-66).
(Incidentally, if it isnÕt being done already, IÕd suggest to Playboy
that they get a new pair of girls each season. In the photo on page 66, one
of the girls is having her bottom cheeks pried apart by the other girl. But
she seems totally unembarrassed by it. If a girl canÕt blush when sheÕs
having her ass widened on national T.V., itÕs time to get a new girl.)
ÒOut of Bondage,Ó on page 114, is the most interesting fashion
pictorial IÕve ever seen in Playboy. It tells a mini-story of a girl
kidnapped by a man, or rescued by him, depending on your interpretation.
My only complaint about the fashion pictorial is that there should be at
least one photo of the girl without her clothes on. It stands to reason, I
think, that us guys donÕt buy Playboy to see girls with clothes on. The girl
at Barnes and Noble that I bought this magazine from had her clothes on.
ItÕs nudity I want to see!
RECORD REVIEW
by holy joe
Turd, Bowling. Perply Records, $7.99.
Review: I must admit I was surprised by this CDÕs cover. It shows
Perply sitting on the toilet. That, I suppose, is what inspired the name of
this album, Bowling.
As for the band, Turd, it struck me as a novelty band. Consider these
cuts:
ÒI Forgot to Flush Today,Ó the albumÕs first song, is reminiscent of
an earlier song (which, alas, I canÕt remember the title to). But I did like
the guitar work.
ÒWiping your LoveÓ concerns the break-up of a romantic relationship.
The thing about this song is itÕs a nice, slow dance song. It seems tailor-
made for prom night. However, with all the talk in the song about Òdick
wipe,Ó Òshit covered ass,Ó and toilet paper, I doubt any schools will let it
be played.
ÒCondom ConundrumÓ is another slow song. What a riot it would be
if this song were played during prom night! ItÕs a duet between a guy and a
girl, debating whether to take time off from kissing to put a condom on
the guy. Then, just when youÕre getting used to the song, figuring that,
even if the subject matter is weird to dance to, itÕs a good public service,
the duet becomes one between two men, debating condom-use before
getting down to fucking each othersÕ asses.
ÒToilet OverflowÓ is the next song on the album. Beavis and
Butthead would like this song a lot. ItÕs not slow at all. It has blazing
guitar work that contains so much static, another reviewer described it as
ÒrancidÓ. Anyway, if youÕd like to induce your neighbors to move, try
turning this song up to 10.
IÕm sure you remember Van HalenÕs song, ÒHot for Teacher.Ó TurdÕs
take on their teacher is rather less complimentary. The song is called,
ÒLifeÕs Tough when Teacher Farts.Ó ItÕs about someone sitting in the first
row of a classroom, at school.
All in all this was a pretty good album. Hopefully youÕll see Perply
on MTV soon.
AND IN THE END...
ÒI still remember every single word you said and the shit that
somehow came along with it.Ó
- Foo Fighter David Grohl, reviewing ex-band member PerplyÕs new
album.
-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
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-END OF 330 EMISSION
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