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         ÒI climb to the very top of the castle where once there was a 
tower and there in full view of Ireland I interfere with myself and 
spurt all over Carrigogunnell and fields beyondÓ

                             - Frank McCourt, AngelaÕs Ashes, pg. 299.

                                       (not me, him.  - h.j.)

                                      Andrew Roller Presents
                                              FUCK DECENCY

                                   Sponsored by:  Crab the dog

                                              Issue No. 327

                                   Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in 
                                              Nudie Nursery

                                               Chapter Five

         Jasmine had been right.  When I got home, when I met my friends, I 
couldnÕt help myself.  I had to show them my ass!  I turned round and bent 
over and hiked down my tight, ass-clinging jeans.  And they saw it.  Two 
strong welts ridged across my bottom.  They ran their fingers over my 
welts and gasped at my bravery.
         ÒI want more,Ó I told them, my head down, my hair falling in 
streaming strands to the floor, the cones of my breasts heavy in my 
sweater.  I wiggled my bottom and felt my cheeks tingle.  They were 
plump, inviting.  ÒGet my camera off my night table and take a picture of 
my ass!  I want to send it to that man Jasmine told me about.Ó  
         My girlfriends complied.  They took a photograph, not of my face but 
just of my ass.  I sealed it in a pink envelope and sent it to the P.O. Box of 
the man on the business card.
         I received no reply.  Jasmine had warned me that I wouldnÕt.  Finally, 
drawing up all my courage, making the call from my bedroom, alone, in the 
middle of the night, I spoke to him.  I hugged my teddy bear as I spoke to 
him.  A woman answered, but she put me on the line with him as soon as I 
asked for him by his special name.
         ÒSauron,Ó he wished to be called.  I knew of the character.  Sauron 
controlled little hobbits in the Lord of the Rings and made them do his 
bidding.  If he caught them.  If they came to him and let him catch them.  
Hobbits, and elves too, and fairies, perhaps, though IÕd never finished the 
book.  It was too long.  Was this real Sauron too long?
         I bought a whip.  He told me on the phone where to buy it.  I 
presented the whip at the counter and the clerk looked at me with knowing 
eyes.  She rung me up and I left, blushing, holding the whip in an 
equestrian shopping bag close to my chest.
         I caught a ride with a girlfriend that afternoon.  She told my mom I 
was going camping with her girl scout troop.  But instead, deep in the 
canyons outside L.A., finding his house on a peak at the top of a canyon 
that gave a beautiful view of the city, she let me out.  I turned and waved 
goodbye to her as she sped off in her Mustang.  She didnÕt want to leave 
me.  But I made her, and she complied at last, holding my hand, begging me 
to be careful and to call her as soon as I could.  I promised I would.
         With fearful steps I approached his house.  A woman, working in the 
garden, greeted me.  She was his housekeeper.  I recognized her voice from 
the phone.  
         ÒYes, come right in, dear.  HeÕs expecting you,Ó she told me.  As soon 
as we were inside she told me to take off my clothes.
         I shivered.  I hesitated.  ÒYou have the whip?  Good,Ó she said, taking 
my shopping bag, opening it, looking inside.  ÒUndress, dear.  Everything.Ó
         ÒEven my panties?Ó I asked, unbuttoning my jeans.  I savored the 
words.  I was scared out of my wits but, somehow, I found pleasure in 
asking for mercy and being refused.
         ÒYes, of course, darling.  Get them right off,Ó she replied.  He 
appeared in the doorway.  He was big and strong and his hair was dark and 
he had skipped shaving for several days.  I stared.  He stared back.  Slowly, 
our eyes still gripped by one another, I slipped out of my clothes.  When I 
was bare and naked and left in only my shoes and my earrings, his 
housekeeper took my hand.  She presented me to him.  Standing with my 
nipples like thorns, poking up at him, held aloft by my young, uptilted 
breasts, I gazed at him and bit my lip.  I let his eyes move over my face, 
then down, knowing what he was looking at.  Freely he admired my 
breasts, letting me blush as he gazed at them; then his eyes trailed down 
over my softly breathing belly to my bush.  He put his thumbs to my thighs 
and I yelped as he rudely yanked my legs apart.  I almost lost my balance.  
His housekeeper grabbed my shoulders to keep me from falling.  
         The strange manÕs thumbs intruded into my cunny.  I felt helpless 
before him.  My breath rushed in and out of my chest, quick, fearful, as he 
probed me.  
         ÒYes, you are excited, arenÕt you?Ó he asked me.  He sought my spot 
and brushed a thumb over it.  He had callouses on his hands.  He treated me 
roughly, not asking my name or showing me any emotion, simply grabbing 
my cunt and opening it.
         ÒI--Ó  There was nothing I could say.  I knew he would be 
uncompromising with me.  I felt a sudden panic.  The housekeeper slapped 
my bottom.
         He kept one hand on my cunny but put the other beneath my chin and 
lifted it.  He kissed my lips.  ÒYou will do well here,Ó he told me.  ÒWe will 
teach you what you need to know.Ó
         ÒI donÕt need to know anything,Ó I begged.  But he didnÕt listen.  He 
picked me up in his arms and I kicked and screamed as he carried me 
bodily through his house.  His shirt was made from hemp and it felt 
demanding against my skin, a rough fabric, not smooth and soft like 
everything was at JasmineÕs, but manly and rough.
         I was taken outside to the porch on their backyard.  A blanket had 
been thrown down on the concrete and I saw, to my utter shock, a dog food 
bowl on the porch with my name on it.  ÒKelly,Ó it proclaimed, and beside 
it was a dish with fresh water.  
         ÒSuch a sweet pet.  Thank you for buying me a little pet,Ó the 
housekeeper said to my master.
         ÒSheÕs a stray, I think,Ó my master replied.  
         ÒYes, a stray.  But we will teach her obedience,Ó the woman replied.
         As the sun set into the distant sea, sinking slowly, the Pacific 
swallowing it up as if it were a red plum, they began to teach me tricks.

                                                  THE END

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                                   Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in 
                                           Dungeon of Desire

                                                Chapter One

         Jasmine had told me to meet him.  Or had she ordered me?  I liked to 
think sheÕd ordered me, now that I reflected upon it.  Yes, sheÕd ordered 
me.  IÕd had no choice.  But of course IÕd had, hadnÕt I?  I didnÕt anymore.
         SheÕd told me heÕd be cruel with me.  Much, much crueler than 
anything IÕd ever experienced before.  IÕd played with rabbits up Ôtil now, 
sheÕd assured me.  And sheÕd ordered me.  Yes.
         With my nipples offered, my face pale and my lips parted in 
wonderment, I let myself be led into his domain.  It had been a workroom 
once, a place for saws and hammers and chisels.  But it had evolved.  The 
old owner had died and Master had moved in.  The pinup calendar had been 
replaced with a real woman.
         I tossed my hair as he confronted me.  I tried to look brave.  Inside, 
my tummy was melting with passion and terror.  I tried to stick out my 
belly to look more childish, to win his compassion.  But I was too thin.  My 
ribs lined my sides.  My hips were slim, curving out just enough to justify 
my 16th birthday, but no more.  My legs were sexy Barbi legs, long and 
sleek and tapering deftly inward to where my ankles met my stiff, 
confining heels.  I stumbled.  His housekeeper caught my arm.  In my 
stumbling my bosoms, big as melons, wiggled.  They teased him with the 
stiffness of my nipples.

                                          MAGAZINE REVIEWS
                                                by holy joe

PlayboyÕs Book of Lingerie, January/February 1998, $6.95.  Web:  
http://www.playboy.com

         Review:  In the 1980Õs it was customary to do the following:  1.  
Grab hold of a guy.  2.  Define him as a ÒpervertÓ (pedophile, child 
molester, sexual harasser, rapist, etc.)  3.  Incarcerate him.  and, finally, 
in the style of the Inquisition, to  4.  Pry into his mind.
         This will not be necessary in my case.  All that prying into mensÕ 
minds costs a lot of money.  As a male, I may be a Òsuspicious personÓ 
(and ÒstrangerÓ and ÒsuspectÓ) but IÕm still worried about our 
governmentÕs deficit.  I feel it is my patriotic duty to publish FUCK 
DECENCY.  If holy joe ever winds up in the clink, they can just download my 
magazine, instead of shelling out lots of money for fancy psychiatrists.
         Time and again, however, publishing my little zine, IÕve come across 
this amazing fact:  my mind is the mind of the American male.  
         Consider this issue of PlayboyÕs Book of Lingerie.  ItÕs called the 
ÒReadersÕ Choice Top 20 Supermodels.Ó  I had nothing to do with putting 
this magazine together.  There was a vote taken, and I didnÕt even vote.  
(Typical American, eh?)  However, despite having nothing to do with this 
magazine, every one of my favorite girls is featured in it.  They are even 
featured in the order that I would list them, if I were editing the 
magazine.
         First up is Tiffany Taylor.  There is no question that she is the 
prettiest new Playboy girl of the year.  She has a soft chin, a small nose, 
full lips, and nice large eyes.  She has lovely long hair.  Her body is 
perfect:  large, ripe breasts, a small waist, flat tummy, and long legs.  She 
looks a little older now than she did when she first appeared in PlayboyÕs 
College Girls last spring (alas!) but she is still the most perfectly formed 
girl in the ÔPlayboy StableÕ this year.
         (Any Playboy models who disagree with that assessment are free to 
stop by my dumpster for a personal re-evaluation!)
         In her pictorial in this issue, Tiffany wanders along a beach in rags, 
looking like a sexy version of Ôthe little matchstick girlÕ.  What a delight 
to look at her!  I do wish, however, that she was doing something racier 
than just staring out to sea.  Why not dig up some buried treasure?  
Perhaps a chest full of ancient dildoes, vibrators, and cans of whipped 
cream!
         Following close on the heels of Tiffany is Shae Marks.  
Unfortunately, Shae looks a lot older now than when she appeared in 
Playboy several years back as a Playmate of the Month.  HereÕs some 
advice for the girls at Playboy:  a)  donÕt gain weight.  b)  donÕt lose 
weight, and c)  for GodÕs sake, donÕt get older!  Shae poses in a weird sort 
of bondage uniform, that looks like itÕs made out of duct tape.  
Unfortunately, itÕs not very erotic to look at.  In my opinion, it lacks 
authenticity.  If youÕre going to go for a bondage look, Shae, buy a *real* 
bondage costume and put that on.  This is sort of a half-assed costume, in 
my opinion.  (Though I do like seeing her tits hanging out of it, and 
wondering what it felt like wedged up between her legs!)
         Following Shae is Sung Hi Lee.  God, what a sexy pictorial... and a 
sexy girl too!  Sung called me and told me what this pictorial is about:
         ÒI was hanging around with James Bond.  We were staying in a hotel 
together.  One morning I slipped out of bed early for a quick swim in the 
hotel pool.  I wore my best yellow lingerie, since I didnÕt have my bikini 
with me.  I figured nobody would see me.  Plus, it was a very elegant hotel, 
and the help at such places doesnÕt mind if a cute girl like me goes 
swimming in her lingerie, especially during off-hours.
         ÒUnfortunately, the help, while not minding seeing me in my lingerie, 
also didnÕt mind taking money from the Mafia.  The help told the Mafia I 
was in the pool.  They captured me and took me away to their Mafia 
headquarters where they ordered me to tell them where they could find 
James.
         ÒThatÕs me, at the Mafia headquarters, wearing just my yellow 
panties and bra.  TheyÕre trying to get me to tell, but IÕm refusing.  So 
theyÕre making me undress, if I wonÕt be a good girl and tell them where 
James is.Ó
         The next set of photos of Sung is even sexier.  IÕll let you guess what 
that white stuff is in the glass, that the Mafia dons are forcing her to 
drink!
         Now, on to the next pictorial.
         Ahhhh, what would life be without photos of Jacqueline Marie 
lowering her panties to show off her bottom?  Her photos follow SungÕs.  
Unfortunately, several things have happened to Jackeline since her 
appearance in PlayboyÕs Lingerie Model Search.
         a)  SheÕs gotten a fat ass.
         b)  SheÕs pierced her navel.
         c)  SheÕs cut her darling Ôspoiled bratÕ hair, leaving her with 
ordinary-looking hair.
         Still, I do enjoy seeing Jacqueline Marie show me her bottom as she 
takes off her undies.  And she has a very nice face, and wonderful bosoms 
to boot.  If you want to know what it would be like to breast-feed from 
one of her bosoms, just turn to page 27! 
         Alley Baggett is up next.  Unfortunately, in addition to getting older, 
sheÕs turned her hair all frizzy.  She gives us a sexy pictorial, but that 
frizzy hair really turns me off.  She looks like a Black woman whoÕs a 
Spanish dancer.  HereÕs a tip for PlayboyÕs girls:  if you look like a normal, 
natural American girl, stay that way.  DonÕt go frizzing your hair and 
making yourself look like some harlot who dances to foreign tunes.  In 
AlleyÕs case, despite her Spanish blood, she *was* a very natural-looking, 
American girl.  Not any more.  She still manages to be quite sexy in her 
pictorial, however.
         Ah, Priscilla Taylor!  Her pictorial isnÕt very sexy, but she does 
epitomize the All-American blonde.  She admits to being Òself-centeredÓ 
(pg. 38), which is what I guess you are if youÕre a walking Barbi doll.  
(Actually, girls, we men donÕt mind, provided you like us and we can afford 
you.)
         If you would like to know what it would be like to have a young wife, 
check out Maria Checa.  Her pictorial is next, and it has a wonderful 
intimacy to it.  She shows off her breasts while letting a teddy bear 
dangle from her fingertips.  She kneels on a bed, caressing her (soon to be 
impregnated?) belly.  She turns and pulls up her nightie and shows off her 
pantied bottom.  If that isnÕt enough, check out her nipples.  They appear to 
have been painted a little, with something, leaving them their natural 
color but giving them a lovely soft shine.  ThereÕs even a picture of her 
pulling down the front of her nightie, laughing.  Is she saying, as she 
exposes one of her breasts, ÒLook, darling!  I put some rouge on my tits!Ó  
A delightful pictorial.
         Well, I donÕt want to waste any more valuable jack-off time.  I think 
I mentioned all the models in this magazine.  However, if I did miss any, 
please stop by my dumpster and let me know!  I donÕt believe in leaving 
anyone out.  I know how important it is for an up-and-coming young model 
to get all the publicity she can.  And just think, when I mention you, you 
can tell all your friends, ÒI was in a magazine by Hugh Hefner, and one by 
holy joe too!Ó


                                    an afternoon in Reykjavik
                                             by Bohdan Kot

                             the sun will not go down.
                             three days here without any sleep.
                             the time was noon
                             and she slipped into my
                             blue bedroom.
                             i was eating a chocolate bar
                             which she finished.
                             then i undressed and
                             began to lick her 
                             perfect pussy.


                                             AND IN THE END...

         ÒA perfectly romantic night for me would include cool music, 
candles, silk sheets, scented pillows, mirrors and a video camera.Ó

- some girl who might have gotten left out of my review, pg. 61.


-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
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-Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is
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  copyright 1998 by the respective copyright holder.    
-END OF 327 EMISSION
- Ò[Playboy Supermodel] seeks man to celebrate all facets of my 
personality.  He will receive home-cooked meals, laughter and lots of 
passion (Ibid, pg. 47.).Ó
         ThatÕs all it takes, feminists!  - h.j.