Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Issue No. 209
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Private Places
Chapter Five
ÒYou may go now, Beth!Ó mistress replied. The girl clapped her hands
to the seat of her bottom, suddenly fearful, and scurried from the room. I
watched her blonde hair as she retreated. It was loose, flowing, like
mine, like JillÕs. All she lacked was a little height and adipose tissue to
join us. How long before the governor found her to be more useful to him
than just as a spanking toy? She was gone. Too short to be noticed by
men, even by our lecherous governor, even by the randy native men, she
could play in the trees still, catlike, watching; she could enter or leave
without drawing attention, attending parties as she chose, uninvited
sometimes, and unseen. Yet in just a few years she would lose her
anonymity. Entering a room then, tall and willowy, perhaps still in her
p.j.Õs thinking herself a child still, sheÕd find she could not escape. Ten
perhaps, eleven, twelve at the most, sheÕd see how the men watched her
then. When she turned to leave they would not let her. SheÕd be stopped at
the door.
ÒWho is this, mistress?Ó theyÕd ask. ÒYou did not tell us you had
such a lovely girl staying with you.Ó
ÒWhy--Ó perhaps mistress herself would be caught off guard.
Especially if the girl was her daughter. ÒI had not thought to mention her.
She was sent to bed early. She is too young for such things...Ó And the
men, gathering round her now, admiring her thin frame with its developing
breasts, would declare she must not be put to bed... not yet, not yet. They
must each have a dance with her, one at least. May she dance at least one
dance? And she would stay the night, her tresses flying, her ponytails
untied as the dancing continued. Still in her p.j.Õs perhaps, her teddy bear
placed on a chair by the wall, Beth would dance at the grownup party, with
the wicked men who wanted more, much more, than just one dance with
her.
With the chanting of the natives reaching new heights of passion,
mistress passed her finger beneath each of our chins and made us stand up
straight. Our arms were held tightly behind us. My titties wobbled
nakedly on my chest, my tit clamps the only attire I wore, covering my
stiff-stemmed nipples. My puss was bare. I felt terribly exposed standing
there, the natives screeching just outside the parlor walls. Only the
presence of my two best friends, similarly shorn, equally pinioned and
hurting, kept me from collapsing into a nervous ball of flesh upon the
floor. Yet we were not to remain upright any longer. The governor was to
have his parting inspection of us, we were told.
Mistress made us kneel down and abjectly bend over right there in
the parlor, our bottoms high, our faces pressed deep into the soft shag rug.
It smelled new. Had it been laid, or cleaned, just for us? Sam did not
want to present himself this way, especially as the governor strode in
just as we were being ordered down. But mistress, ever his master,
grabbed his nuts and made him comply with compressing squeezes. Soon
he was showing his bottom to the governor just as openly as Jill and I did,
our thighs apart, our sex available to him. With a grunt of dissatisfaction
at our display he toed each of us between our buns with his boot. He made
us rear up even more, stretch our legs even wider apart. I think he nudged
SamÕs dangling nutsack a little to force his compliance, pushing it upward,
as one might poke at the base of a waterballoon.
ÒYou have all three received your judicial punishment from me for
going naked in my province,Ó the governor proclaimed to us. ÒWe are white
people. We do not go naked as the primitives do. And they do not go naked
except here, in the jungle, on their traditional tribal lands, lest they wish
to feel my wrath for their indecency, however natural it may be for them.
You will not flaunt my laws again, do you understand?Ó
We mouthed our answers into the carpet. None of us misunderstood.
He left. We were allowed to stand. It was hard, standing up with
our wrists tied. Mistress helped us. We were led upstairs by her, put back
into the bedroom reserved for us. ÒDress quickly,Ó she said, cutting us
loose from our bonds with a small, sharp knife. I saw simple clothes laid
out for us on our bed. Thin t-shirts, through which our nipples might
show. Cutoffs, deliberately shortened for Jill and I so that our asscheeks
looked like they would not be entirely covered by them. Jeans for Sam
that went down to his knees. Sneakers, new, but without socks to go with
them.
holy joe on
------------------------------------------------------------
ESTATES IN LAND
------------------------------------------------------------
Freehold Estates:
---------------
Fee Simple (absolute)
Fee Tail
Life Estate
Non-Freehold Estates:
-------------------
Estate for Years
Periodic Estate
Estate at Will
Tenancy at Sufferance
I finally got a phone. I donÕt have a car or a house or even an
apartment, but I do have a phone. ItÕs a mobile phone. ItÕs in an elevator.
It goes up and down with the elevator and I can stand in there and receive
calls. It says ÒEmergency Use OnlyÓ on it but I consider that to be merely
a legal technicality.
A lot of senior citizens use the elevator. Some of them ask me why I
never get off. I tried explaining that I was getting off, that IÕd found a
credit card and was having phone sex girls give me call-backs. But they
donÕt hear too good, these senior citizens. It got kind of embarrassing
having to yell real loud, into their ear, ÒI AM getting off! IÕm getting call
backs from ÔVirgin Vixens!ÕÓ (The phone sex company.) So I gave up trying
to tell them the truth. Instead I tell them that IÕm there for their
protection. I explain that IÕm on the phone to stay in touch with
ÔGeezerGuard,Õ the private service for seniors whoÕve fallen and canÕt get
up.
They like hearing that. They tell me to stay right on the phone,
keeping in touch with ÔGeezerGuard,Õ while they ride the elevator. Some of
them have sensitive hearts and the starting and stopping of the elevator
worries them. TheyÕre afraid they might get a heart attack from it.
WouldnÕt you know, of course, yesterday some old fart claimed to be
having a heart attack. She told me she wanted to talk to ÔGeezerGuardÕ
herself, that she didnÕt trust a young whippersnapper like myself to
properly report the symptoms. Of course I couldnÕt put her on the line -- I
had some girl in the throes of orgasm on the other end! But then she hit
me with her cane and took the phone from me.
ÒMy God! You sound worse off than me!Ó she yelled into the phone at
the orgasming phone sex girl. Meanwhile, I was trying to grab the phone
back from her. Then some old man grabbed the phone and when he heard
the orgasming phone sex girl, he started having a heart attack too!
Anyway, IÕd give you the phone number in the elevator and let you
call me, but IÕve still got some credit left on the credit card. I donÕt want
you interfering with my call-backs from the phone sex girl. IÕm helping
her finish high school and pay for college, with my call backs. I wouldnÕt
want to impede her education.
In addition to riding the elevator I still ride the bus. I go every day
to Tower Books and pop open all the little white tabs on the menÕs
magazines. The other day when I was riding the bus I again met the guy
who saves his turds. His name is Percival Perpich but everyone calls him
ÔPerply.Õ ThatÕs cause he wishes he could save little girlsÕ turds in
addition to his own turds. He told me that, in his opinion, America should
elect a pedophile to the White House.
ÒAmericans wouldnÕt have to worry about a pedophile selling the
White House,Ó Perply explained. ÒLike, for instance, if it were me, IÕd only
invite little girls over to the White House. I wouldnÕt charge them for
sleeping with me or in the Lincoln bedroom. Even if I did, they couldnÕt
pay me anyway, since little girls only have enough money for candy. And I
donÕt believe in taking candy from a baby.Ó
ÒNeither do I!Ó I agreed. ÒI believe in giving them candy. Lollipops
and stuff like that.Ó
ÒYes, it is better to give than to receive,Ó Perply said. ÒClinton
should learn that.
ÒAnd if the little girls did happen to poop during their visit, that
would be my payment,Ó Perply added, with a sly grin on his face.
PERSONAL PROPERTY and REAL PROPERTY
But I digress. In addition to collecting turds, Perply studies
property law. He says turds are property and so he has an interest in
anything having to do with his turds, including property law. At first he
began by studying the law of Personal Property. That category of
property, in addition to turds, would include anything that can be moved:
trains, planes, automobiles, hats, coats, and Playboys. From there Perply
moved on to the other type of Property Law. ThatÕs land, otherwise known
as Real Property. Of course the fundamental aspect of land is that it
cannot be moved. Now, you might ask, what if I dig a big hole in my
backyard? I load the dirt onto a truck. CanÕt I move my land to, say,
Hawaii, and set it down there? No. Once youÕve dug the dirt out, and made
it movable, it becomes Personal Property. If you load it onto a truck, and
then onto a plane, and move it to Hawaii, youÕll be dumping your Personal
Property (the dirt) onto someone elseÕs Real Property. HeÕll sue you for
dumping dirt on his land. So Real Property is, indeed, stuck right where it
is, and immovable. I know all this because P.D. Wilson once said he was
sick of paying high property taxes in Georgia. He dug up all his land and
trucked it to Alabama. But the state of Georgia still billed him for the big
hole he left behind, saying he still owned land in Georgia, even if it was
now just an unsightly hole in the ground. (Meanwhile, some guy in
Alabama shot at him for dumping a big load of dirt on his lawn.)
REAL PROPERTY
Freehold and Non-Freehold Estates
ÒIn the law of Real Property,Ó Perply explained to me, Òthere are
different ways of holding land.Ó We were at his apartment by then and he
sat in a big overstuffed chair, stroking one of his turds. ÒBasically, there
are two categories of land. There are the Freehold Estates, and the Non-
Freehold Estates.Ó
ÒWhatÕs the difference?Ó I asked.
ÒThe owner of a Freehold Estate has the seisin,Ó he said.
ÒOh,Ó I replied. ÒThat explains everything.Ó
ÒIn England, in the olden days, the King was considered to be the
owner of all the land,Ó Perply said. ÒSo nobody could own land, they could
only be seised of it. You know, like, if I seized your coat, then I would be
seized of it.Ó
ORIGIN OF REAL PROPERTY LAW
ÒHow did the King of England get all of England in the first place?Ó I
asked.
ÒHe seized it from somebody else,Ó Perply replied.
ÒOh, I thought maybe he saved up lots of money and bought it,Ó I said.
ÒNo,Ó Perply explained. ÒHis name was William the Conqueror. He
came over to England and killed King Harold and stole all the land from
him. This was in the year 1066.
ÒItÕs like this,Ó Perply continued. ÒLetÕs say Adolf Hitler came over
from Germany. He kills Bill Clinton and says, ÔNow I own America. IÕm
going to divide up this land among all my buddies who helped me kill
Clinton and conquer America.Õ And so he does. 1,000 years later, HitlerÕs
great-great-great-grandson is alive and well, and his name is Prince
Charles and heÕs married to Princess Di and he longs to be a tampon in an
older womanÕs vagina.Ó
ÒOh!Ó I said. ÒYou mean England was conquered by some murdering
thief named William? And that the Queen of England and Prince Charles
are directly descended from him?Ó
ÒYes indeed,Ó Perply replied. ÒWe must always remember that,
revered as she may be today, the Queen of England is, in essence, the
great-great-great granddaughter of a thief. You and I may have to pay for
land, but she got it all for free, when William killed the former owner and
stole it. This is the basis of EnglandÕs property law and, since America is
a former colony of England, itÕs the basis of AmericaÕs property law too.Ó
ÒThis is getting rather complicated,Ó I admitted.
ÒWell, letÕs say you came into my apartment and killed me,Ó Perply
said. ÒNow it would be your apartment. And if you had some friends of
yours who helped you, youÕd probably divide up the rooms among them and
let them all live here with you. If anybody else came along, to try to take
this apartment from you, your friends would be useful since they could
help you defend the apartment.Ó
ÒYes indeed,Ó I answered. ÒThe police or somebody might show up
and try to take our new apartment from us!Ó
ÒSo we could say that you, holy joe, were the King of Perplyland.
(i.e. what used to be my apartment.) And since you couldnÕt live in all the
rooms yourself, needing only a small room to masturbate in, youÕd let your
friends stay in the other rooms. You would be King, owning all the rooms,
but they would be seised of the various rooms they lived in. One guy, who
was fat, might be seised of the kitchen, while some guy who had to pee a
lot might be seised of the bathroom.Ó
ÒMakes sense,Ó I said. ÒBut I would still be king, and if any of those
guys disobeyed me, or betrayed me, IÕd take back the room and kick his ass
out of my apartment!Ó
ÒRight,Ó Perply agreed. ÒAnd so it was in England. The king owned
all the land, but he divided it up among his buddies and let them live in
England with him. Each of his buddies was seised of a piece of land.
ORIGIN OF NON-FREEHOLD ESTATES
ÒNow letÕs say when you killed me, I had some little girls living
with me,Ó Perply added.
ÒWell, the girls could stay,Ó I mused. ÒBut theyÕd have to make
themselves worthwhile. TheyÕd have to cook and clean for us guys, and
keep us warm at night too!Ó
ÒAnd so it was in England,Ó Perply said. ÒObviously when William
killed King Harold there were lots of ordinary people living in England.
Why kill all of them? Somebody had to till the soil and grow food. ThatÕs
hard work. William and his buddies werenÕt about to do that! So they let
the ordinary people live on the land, but William owned it, and his buddies
were seised of pieces of it. The ordinary people, in order to stay alive,
and to be allowed to live on the land, had to get up and work every day.
Growing food, milking cows, serving the king, stuff like that.
THE ESTATE FOR YEARS
ÒSo letÕs try to summarize, then,Ó Perply said. ÒThe king owned
England. His buddies were seised of Freehold Estates in land that they
held at his pleasure. And at the bottom were the ordinary people, who
were given Non-Freehold Estates in land.
ÒNon-Freehold. I like that!Ó I declared. ÒThat means they have to
work!Ó
ÒYes. ItÕs a lie, really,Ó Perply said. ÒBut because they are declared
to not own the land, they have to get up every day and work.
ÒOf course, it was a little more complicated than that,Ó Perply went
on. ÒYou might give a freehold estate to your buddy, telling him, ÔYou can
be seised of the kitchen, Fatty, but you have to cook me a pie every Friday
night.Õ And Fatty, not needing the left side of the kitchen, might wind up
giving a freehold estate to Skinny, provided Skinny goes out and picks
berries once a week. And Skinny might have a little girl staying in the
kitchen with him. He tells her she can live there, provided she scrubs the
floors. But he adds that heÕs going to kick her out when she turns 18,
because heÕs a pervert and only likes little girls. That would be a Non-
Freehold estate, then, for the girl, since we know she wonÕt get to stay in
the kitchen forever. No matter how hard she works, at 18 Skinny is going
to kick her out and get another little girl to stay with him instead.
ÒWe would say, then, that you holy joe are King of all the apartment.
Fatty is seised of you, having a freehold estate in land (the kitchen).
Skinny, a friend of Fatty, is seised of Fatty, having a Freehold Estate in
land (the left side of the kitchen). But the poor little girl who scrubs the
floor for Skinny only has a Non-Freehold Estate in land. She can live on
the left side of the kitchen with Skinny, but at 18 heÕs going to kick her
out. We might say that she has a Term for Years. LetÕs say sheÕs 6 right
now, and knows for certain that sheÕs going to be kicked out at 18. She
has a Term for Years, also known as an Estate for Years. It will last 12
years.
ÒSo now we see the two types of estates, Freehold and Non-Freehold.
One who has a Freehold Estate is seised of it. One who has a non-freehold
estate is not seised of it. Nonetheless, an Estate for Years is not limited
to a year, or two years, or 12 years. It can be as short as a day. Or,
believe it or not, it can last for over 1,000 years. Nonetheless, it is a
Non-Freehold Estate, and it does not have any seisin.Ó
ÒWell, whereÕs the seisin, then?Ó I asked.
ÒIn our example itÕs in Skinny,Ó Perply answered. ÒBut itÕs also in
Fatty, because, wouldnÕt you know, itÕs prior to the year 1290 and you
subinfeudated to Fatty, who subinfeudated to Skinny, who decided to be a
cheapskate and only gave a non-freehold estate for years to the little girl,
so he could kick her out at 18.Ó
(continued next issue)
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-END OF 209 EMISSION