SHE HAD SEX AT 13, YOU FUCKING AUSTRALIANS! Oops! Please pardon my outburst. In my review of the American Edition of Playboy, December 1996, I reported that Miss December 1996 had sex at 13. This fact can be found on page 114. However, when the Australian edition of Playboy came out, they changed Miss DecemberÕs age to 18. I was worried. Could it be that IÕm just a pervert... a child molester? Are the feminists right? Do girls wait until their 18th birthday to have sex? Thankfully, I was at Tower Books today (in America, as usual) and I spied the MEXICAN edition of Playboy. It too had PlayboyÕs Miss December, Victoria Silvstedt, in it. So I checked her age again. 13 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Now, I could go into a lecture about how the Australians all started out as British Convicts. I could say something like, ÒLearn to count, you fucking convicts.Ó Or I could say, ÒStill lying and cheating, eh?Ó But I wonÕt. Obviously the Australian edition of Playboy isnÕt published by lying convicts. ItÕs published by yellow-bellied cowards, who are afraid to PUBLISH THE TRUTH! Is Adolf Hitler in charge of Australia? Is the simple truth that a Playboy Playmate lost her virginity at 13 prohibited information? Thank God for the honest, industrious Mexicans for having the BALLS to publish the truth! It is amazing that a liberty conceived by the English people, freedom of the press, should now be extinguished in Australia, a former British Colony, while it lives on in Mexico, heir not of the Magna Carta but of the Spanish Inquisition! Not only are the Mexicans willing to publish the truth, they even put out a better Playboy than that found here in America! ÒWhen Jenny Met Santa,Ó in the American Playboy, begins with a very boring (and often reprinted) photo of Jenny emerging from SantaÕs toy sack. But the Mexican issueÕs pictorial begins with a nude Jenny sitting on SantaÕs lap eating a Christmas cookie! This is the most glorious photo IÕve ever seen of Jenny! Let me tell you, I will get MONTHS of masturbating pleasure out of this photo! If you canÕt find this issue at Tower, head for the border! ItÕs waiting down there in Mexico for you, and itÕs worth the trip. Also, the Mexican issue I bought at Tower only cost $3.95. The American issue costs $5.95. To be sure, the printing in the Mexican issue is not quite up to American standards. But unlike the American issue, the Mexican issue is not printed on thin tissue paper. It is printed on THICK paper. ALL the Playboys from all the foreign countries IÕve seen are printed on thick paper. Australia, Japan, Mexico... only the American edition is printed on paper so thin it arrives Ôpre-wrinkled.Õ (Or gets wrinkled the minute you open it!) The Mexican edition of Playboy includes two eleven-inch tall ÒMiniPostersÓ of Miss December. (As well as the centerfold.) Why the Mexicans include MiniPosters is beyond me, but they are a nice (and no doubt expensive) addition. IÕd tell them to skip the MiniPosters and print the magazine itself with better presses, but all in all we can see that the Mexican edition of Playboy is SUPERIOR to the American edition. (True, the whole thingÕs in Spanish, but IÕve never bought Playboy for the articles anyway.) So there you have it! The Mexicans are honest, they print on thicker paper, they choose better photographs, and they even include two free ÒMiniPostersÓ in their issue. They probably even have a lower age of consent than Australia! A very fine country indeed. Now on to England! Mayfair, Volume 31, Number 11, $6.99. Review: What a luscious issue! The glorious, barely 18 Claire Cass stars in a pictorial as a nurse. The pictorial begins with her looking very demure, in glasses, with her hair nicely pinned up, and wearing a sedate uniform. But it must be time for her yearly physical, for sheÕs soon naked on a hospital bed! Watch as Claire spreads her legs for a pap smear. (Hanging on to the bed railing... because a pap smear hurts!) (At least I think it does... IÕm not an expert on them.) Watch as Claire squeezes her bosom to show you her little nipple still works. Then, even more gloriously, watch as she bends over next to an I.V. pole with an enema bag hanging from it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! ! ! (Sorry, I had a minor accident there.) As regular readers of Mayfair know, this is not ClaireÕs first pictorial. She is the favorite Mayfair girl of all time, despite (or perhaps because of) her pert little breasts. Next month she promises to star in a pictorial again, and she says, ÒI want to get into something really kinky next time!Ó Now, IÕll probably be too busy reading Oprah WinfreyÕs new book to pick up next monthÕs issue, but you never know... I might ÔaccidentallyÕ wind up at Tower and somehow bump into the porno rack! A final word: would all you guys who read the porno at Tower please WASH YOUR HANDS?!!! Good God, those magazines are always so greasy! I mean, every issue I buy there is coated with some kind of slimy, icky oil that gets all over my (admittedly sweaty) palms and makes me fear that IÕll bring home some deadly disease. Even reviewing these issues, I had to use special care. I had to wash my hands each and every time I flipped through them. ItÕs tough to review a magazine when you have to wash your hands repeatedly. I mean, I have to do a little browsing, a little typing, checking names and stuff, and then I keep having to run to the bathroom too! But these magazines are so horribly icky that even a pervert like me has to take special precautions. (You should see me ÔreadingÕ them on the toilet!) Do I have to install some kind of a decontamination chamber in my house? Please, guys, a simple hand washing, plus keeping your hands OUT of your pants while youÕre standing at Tower, should do the trick. I realize sometimes a little girl walks by, and you lose control of yourself, but if you concentrate real hard on the porno, like I do, maybe you wonÕt see her! (IÕm thinking of taking a box of Handi-Wipes with me to Tower. If you see some fat guy standing at Tower wiping each of the magazines before he picks them up, thatÕs me!) Andrew Roller Presents FUCK DECENCY Issue No. 173 Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in Puppy Love Chapter One Thus tied, her legs well spread, her cucumber cock sticking up lewd as any ninth-graderÕs penis, Anna found herself fully decorated and prepared. Jasmine approached with a small thin whip and spoke softly to Anna. ÒPlease not too hard,Ó I thought I heard Anna mumble, though there was a strawberry in her mouth which prevented her words from being coherent. Decorum, I guessed, dictated that she not lose the berry, or eat it up until permitted to. ÒOoofph!Ó Anna cried suddenly, as Jasmine brought the whip down hard onto her lovely flat belly. ÒItÕs to see if she can hold in the Strawberry,Ó Rachel whispered to me. I saw she was frigging herself between her legs, freely, not minding that it might get her in trouble. I considered a moment, decided I needed a little attention myself. I put my hand to my puss and rubbed hesitantly, not really wanting to do what I knew I couldnÕt help. The scene was just too overwhelming, too powerful. ÒOoopfth! Opppgh! Ooomph!Ó Anna burfed into her strawberry, clutching it madly twixt her polished teeth lest she get into further trouble by dropping it. JasmineÕs switch tested her resolve as the whip marked AnnaÕs soft white skin, daring even to lightly mark her breasts. Tara, meanwhile, bent forward on the hassock and took the end of AnnaÕs cucumber in her mouth. Orally she began fucking Anna, moving the cucumber to and fro, controlling it only with her mouth just as Anna strove to keep her strawberry properly placed in her lips. ÒOhh! Ohh!Ó I heard Anna moan, aroused by the moving cucumber, and realized it was accompanied by little cries from Rachel, beside me. ÒShhhh!Ó I scolded her. ÒI canÕt help it!Ó she answered, gritting her teeth. ÒQuit playing with yourself!Ó ÒYou are!Ó she answered. Together we approached bliss under our own guidance, enthralled by AnnaÕs luscious human desert, by the men who were undressing now around her, their hairy butts and legs coming into view as they prepared to give her some cream of their own. The redhead plucked AnnaÕs strawberry from her mouth. I guessed, perhaps she guessed as well, that a penis was to be put there instead. ÒHereÕs the topping!Ó the redhead proclaimed suddenly, and brought a big lemon meringue pie suddenly down on AnnaÕs face. Anna leapt up, her tummy rising, her breasts heaving. The pie pan was removed and Anna was left with cake batter and lemon-flavored cream on her face, laughing. I saw her pink tongue stick up through the cream and lick away some of it, a little flag seemingly, a fleshy flag, showing Anna was still alive down there under all that mortifying cream. Jasmine tossed away her whip. She unzipped her gown and stepped completely out of it. She got on the bed and she and the redhead set about licking AnnaÕs nipples clean of cream. The men, meanwhile, began massaging their organs, in preparation, I overheard, for shooting sperm onto AnnaÕs nipples in place of the Cool-Whip. Tara kept fucking Anna with the cucumber, still using her mouth, but going deeper with it now, unrestrained by any desire to keep Anna looking pretty. Rachel, who must have been imagining herself fucked by the cucumber as she watched, suddenly let out a small howl of pleasure. My eyes darted to her, my own fingers guiltily rubbing myself. Other eyes turned, those of the guests, and we were spotted! ÒYikes!Ó I cried, and I think Rachel did too, for we were scared to death of being discovered. We were like naughty children, spying on our parents, seeing things we were strictly forbidden from even asking about. Anna might have been our mother, seeing how thoroughly sheÕd subjugated us to her will. And yet now we witnessed her own subjugation; bound, her face smeared with pie cream, her pussy opened and filled and her nipples, newly wet and licked clean of cream, about to be defiled with wads of male sperm. Rachel and I ducked behind the couch, not looking now, our heads withdrawn, like Jacks squirreling themselves back into their respective Boxes. I was still so overwhelmed by what IÕd seen that I couldnÕt stop tickling my clitty. Even as I heard the stern footfalls of a male approaching, his polished shoes heavy and loud on the polished wooden floor, I couldnÕt stop frigging myself; nor could Rachel. Suddenly master appeared, wearing a fine silk suit, looking like a million dollars. Rachel and I, crouching, pouting for forgiveness, looked up at him like frightened hares, our knees awkwardly open, our fingers pleasuring our clits even as we tried to look like good little girls waiting for a ride to Sunday School. ÒGet up!Ó master said. It was then I noticed he was unzipped. His schlong, as fresh as his new suit, swung in semi-erection between his legs. A womanÕs lipstick adorned the head, and I knew at once Rachel and I had interrupted some delicious pleasure heÕd just been embarking on. ÒOh, please!Ó Rachel blurted, as we stood and master took each of us roughly by the ear, finding hers easily, because of her ponytail, fumbling for mine beneath my wealth of blonde hair. He walked with us toward the guests. We approached in our naughtily abbreviated tees, our nipples wiggling beneath the sheared fabric. It performed an unwanted peepshow for us, bouncing as our breasts bounced, covering our nipples and then revealing them. Rachel and I had not even searched for panties to cover ourselves, though we had the run of the house, until now. I felt hugely embarrassed, realizing I was showing myself to these elegant guests this way, captains of industry, society ladies, my muff bare and my chest all but uncovered, nude except for my warm little socks that were as pink as my cunny. The redhead and Jasmine stared at me, whipped cream on their noses, their lips. I felt awful for interrupting their private pleasure. Tara, her mouth still gorged on the cucumber, stared at us sideways. Anna blinked and opened her eyes, wriggled her wrists as if to get free, flexed her forced open thighs against the intrusion of the monstrous fake organ that split her so well. There was a general bustling, as if the interrupted party might suddenly end. Tara lifted her wet mouth from the cucumber. She smacked her lips. Did the cucumber taste good? I doubted it. She probably felt the greenness of it suddenly, the vegetable quality, the spell broken, dashed. Anna looked as if she were no longer so happy at being made into dessert. Was the cucumber, in this new harsh light of discovered reality, this plunge back to normalcy, a newly realized discomfort? It was huge, it must have filled her beyond what sheÕd expected, did its rending nature now make her desperate to be rid of it? Tara placed a finger on the cucumberÕs tip, even as Anna struggled to sit up. ÔNot yet,Õ TaraÕs finger seemed to say. The redhead touched a hand to AnnaÕs shoulder to keep her lying in place. ÒIÕm sorry, I canÕt wait,Ó the unattractive man said bruskly. He and his male partner, who looked vastly better than he but seemed equally frantic, advanced upon Anna, placed one knee on the bed and, drawing close, spurted his load with quick-fisted strokes onto one each, respectively, of AnnaÕs nipples. She watched, aghast, as indeed were the others. For long moments all stood immobile, even Rachel and myself and master, watching as the long-shooting spurts of male seed pulsed out onto AnnaÕs breasts. At last the unattractive man withdrew. His partner remained, stayed by a scissored touch of JasmineÕs fingers upon his cock. He was young, perhaps no more than 20, and his hardness remained, though the stiffness of his organ might have slackened just a little, in satisfaction. Jasmine saw he might be useful again and restrained him with her two fingers, strangely looking as if she might, were they sharp, cut his cock off and keep it forever for herself. Jasmine Scissorhands, she fancied herself perhaps. The effect was the same, the young man remained just as she bid him too, his quivering cock near to the breast heÕd made his deposit upon, perhaps already dreaming of making a second. ÒWe must go, Shaftsbury,Ó the unattractive manÕs equally unattractive wife said. She hoisted her husbandÕs pants up over his hairy arse, he zipped himself, snapped shut his pants, but was not given time to buckle his belt. His wife, restoring her dress, picked up her purse and took his hand. Together they hustled themselves from the room, all eyes momentarily following them. Another couple, much better looking, also rose and left. There were less of us now, though Rachel and I had just added two more pussies to the mix, to the resentment, I was sure, of the remaining women. ÒLick AnnaÕs breasts clean!Ó master commanded, and threw Rachel and I toward the bed. Stumbling into it, we kneed our way up onto the sheets and stared at the product of male hubris that besmeared AnnaÕs teats. ÒEwwww, yuck!Ó I cried, for it was I who had been given the unattractive manÕs sperm. Rachel, with a glance at the young donor of her feast, decided to get about licking lest she get one on her bottom. Master withdrew his belt to persuade me. ÒHe is clean, free of disease,Ó master said of our departed guest. ÒI do not wish to see good male sperm go to waste. Lap it up, Barbi. You are my slave now and will do as I say.Ó He snapped the belt through the air once, nearly hitting me, making my bottom flinch forward, putting me even closer to the disgusting sperm-residue that awaited me. I felt a light touch in the small of my back. Bashfully I turned and saw the redhead woman staring at me. She let her eyelids flutter. Her smile was delicate. I felt the pricking of her nails down by my tailbone. ÒHi, IÕm Sonja,Ó she said to me with quiet grace. A strand of hair fell over one of her eyes, she brushed it back. Her full bosoms jiggled above the still-modest wrapping of her dress about her waist. ÒAnd youÕre...?Ó ÒBarbi,Ó I mouthed. Her fingers flitted to my head. ÒWelcome to the party, Barbi,Ó she said sweetly, and then pushed my head firmly down toward AnnaÕs nearest breast. A moment later my lips were in the manÕs seed, and I was kissing Anna, trying to forget the horrid sperm as I placed tongue-lapping kisses upon AnnaÕs breast. For a few soft moments there was only the sound of Rachel and I, tongues lapping, eating up the male stuff that Anna had so graciously permitted to adorn her person. Anna herself, her hands still tied, began once again to feel the mouth-fucking movements of TaraÕs cucumber in her puss. She sighed, squirmed a little, expressed a plea that she be let up, was shushed by Jasmine and Sonja, who supervised all. When AnnaÕs breasts were clean Rachel and I were allowed to lift our heads. We both looked at once at master, who stood still with belt in hand. My face was besmirched with sperm, my lips glistening, as was RachelÕs. ÒMay I play with myself?Ó Rachel asked abruptly, her hand darting between her thighs. ÒNo!Ó master answered, his penis stiff, showing off his lipsticked male crest, as if displaying a trophy. ÒGet up!Ó master said suddenly to Anna. She lifted her head, looked at him with wide eyes. ÒYou heard me, get up!Ó All the females adopted a quizzical look. The males, though, seated around us, smiled slyly, as if anticipating pure decadence... AND IN THE END... BYE, BYE, CDA ÒNot even the most powerful computers will be able to effectively patrol the world's telephone lines... They can try to control the telephone system with supercomputers, but when low orbit satellites can give you direct phone service, no computer is going to trace that.Ó - Reuters, January 20, 1997 ----------------------- Fuck Decency! ----------------------- -Free Fuck Decency e-mail subscriptions: send (18 or up) age statement to: roller666@aol.com -To unsubscribe: Send $100.00 to The North American Man/Boy Love Association, P.O. Box 174, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018. -My ftp site is: members.aol.com/roller666 Diapergirls! (CuntCastle2d) -My ftp site is: members.aol.com/roller6666 CuntCastle3b here! -My ftp site is: members.aol.com/nnd666 NudieNursery5 here! -My ftp site is: members.aol.com/nnd66 NEW! LaborsofLove5 -Recent back issues at Usenet newsgroup: alt.poop? -For all back issues, send e-mail to: file.request@backdrop.com -Fuck Decency: http://members.aol.com/nnd6/fuckdecency.html -Free minicomics: send a stamped, self-addressed envelope & age statement to: Jim Corrigan, P.O. Box 3663, Phenix City, AL 36868 -Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is copyright 1996 and a trademark of Andrew Roller. -END OF 173 EMISSION - Reuters from NewsLinx Daily Web News http://www.newslinx.com/ (A great site!)