Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. Paradise Lost, Paradise Regained, Part 8 Two hours later, when I heard Moira come back, I was still rolling around, crushed but sleepless in the spare room. I hadn't felt like sleeping next to her that night. Not that I didn't long for her proximity, regardless off what I had found out about her before, but I was more afraid I would loose control and press myself upon her. She had her days after all and there was no decent way to kill my desire, except jerking off. She might have offered to do a hand job on me, as she had once done, but I did not want that. Neither did I want, even if she'd agreed, go for her backdoor. Once had been enough. As for a possible blowjob, I had no idea how she would have taken it. The "old" Moira had been far too shy and white-bread to ever consider something like that. But, things had changed dramatically. I should've asked her about that too. I had seen with my own eyes how she rode that guy, something she had declined to do with me "before", so who knows how far she had gone with those other guys? After we had married and moved in together, I hadn't performed particularly well in bed and I tried a few times to spice up our love-life with different positions, but Moira always claimed she like the missionary best, because she could "feel" me all over. Personally, I would have preferred to spoon her, as then I could cup her breasts better, while feeling her copious butt in my crotch. Once I tried the butterfly, with her legs over my shoulder, which actually felt terrific, but obviously only to me. By and by however we had come to terms and after a while I could deliver each time and finally she seemed to get her share too. Before I left to China, we actually had made love every night. Still, I never managed to score more than once a day, except on my last Saturday at home, one day before I left for China, when I did manage one in the morning and one on the afternoon, but that had been the exception. Moira silently opened the door to the spare, careful not to make any noise. I had drawn the blinds, so she couldn't see I was still awake. I dared not move, because I wasn't prepared to face her. Besides, I could smell her freshly lit cigarette perfectly and see the smoke rising from its tip, spiraling upwards and that alone made me dick grow hard. Though she was only a dark silhouette against the dim light coming from the night-light on the landing, the overall impression was overwhelming. I had to bite my lips not to sigh. For a moment she hesitated, but then she turned and sighing painfully, she closed the door behind her. Hard to say what this meant. Tuesday went by uneventful, but then Wednesday came. Wednesday 14th of May Ever since I knew Moira, Wednesday had been her girls' night, when she would have a drink or two with some girls from work. She had only skipped it a few times while we were dating, but once she told me about it, I had always insisted she'd go with the girls. She even asked me if wanted to join in, but I declined. I didn't want her to think I was possessive. I could see she wasn't quite sober. In fact she did waver a lot and she had a lit cigarette between her fingers when she entered and she kept lighting up afterwards, dragging even harder than usual, pulling hard and long on her cigarette with collapsing cheeks and exhaling lots of residual smoke between drags. I hadn't seen her tipsy before. Even if pressed, she would reluctantly accept a drink only to sip on it for hours, hardly wetting her lips. But that had been before. To tell the truth, I had always been both repelled and aroused at the same time by tipsy women. Even if it wasn't by far such a turn on as smoking, I had often fantasized about being intimate with slightly drunken women. Maybe because they would shake off inhibitions and of course, also because smokers tend to smoke much more when drinking, the proof of which I could see before my eyes. She looked awful in fact, with dark shadows under her eyes and a grayish complexion. She looked at me while she pulled hard on her cigarette and I could see pain but also longing in her eyes. I knew that expression well, for I had seen it before, when we had been fighting once over some non-issue, as lovers do sometimes. Once, when we had known each other only for a few weeks and were both not yet sure of the nature of our relationship, I had somehow hinted I might want to ditch her and then I had seen that same look on her face. Of course, back than it had been enough to make me understand she cared much more about me than I had dared hope in my wildest dreams and naturally I had taken her in my arms and we had kissed until our lips hurt. And now the same magic worked again. Nothing she could have said or done would have been more convincing than this sad and longing look in her eyes. I couldn't but to take her in my arms and I shot off a load only from kissing her. The kiss wasn't lost on her either and I doubt she noticed or cared about the mess in my pants. She began to moan and sob and hiccup and shiver all at the same time. Her arms were all around me and she kept pressing me and rubbing my back in a frenzy. She drooled into my mouth and kept pushing her tongue back and forth and rubbing her pelvis against my twitching and sticky dick. Finally, she sort of collapsed into my arms, leaning heavy on me and almost making me tumble and hit the floor with her on top. I could just barely avoid this and without a word I dragged her to couch where we collapsed in a heap, with her half on top of me, again kissing frantically and fumbling at each other's clothes. I briefly thought about her menstruation, but as it turned out, she was almost "clean" again, not very surprising, as she never had had a very long and painful one since I knew her. She didn't care about any cigarettes now, and we just had sex the "straight" way, though in such a contorted position that neither knew in the end whose legs were where, probably replicating one of trickier positions in the Kama Sutra. Even though I had jerked off while still kissing her with clothes on, my arousal was still so high that I was afraid I would finish first. But my fears were gratuitous as the moment my now not so little friend found it's way into her dripping wet vagina, I could feel her shiver and her hips arched up to meet me. Immediately she started moaning and miauing till she cried out loud as If I had poked her with a red-hot iron. She kept crying aloud until it choked her and she could only huff and wheeze. I shut out a full load but my dick refused to turn limp. I kept thrusting till I sent her through the roof once more and only then my whole body went limp and I slipped off her and to the floor. "Guess I have to drink more often" she managed to say between hiccups. "Can you please light me a cigarette?" I rose to my feet, gave her one last kiss and then I first went to the kitchen to fetch her a bottle of water and then I picked up her handbag from where she had dropped it and took out her cigarettes and the lighter. I stumbled upon a pack of condoms, but somehow it didn't touch me. Under normal circumstances I would have grown suspicious, but I was still delirious from this juicy reconciliation, feeling at peace for the first time since my return, at least for the moment. So I choose to ignore that. It was still sealed anyway so she hadn't used it. At least she had thought of protecting herself and thus also me. I lit the cigarette and placed it between her lips. "Mind if I smoke it hands-free?" she mumbled in her drunkenness. "I'm too bushed to lift my arms." To my shame I must admit that seeing her drunk like that kept arousing me, not to mention that she looked so damned sexy dangling the cigarette, pulling hard and exhaling through her nostrils and along the cigarette. I squeezed in between her propped up legs and softly stroked her belly and her breasts, sending shivers down her body. Finally, she had smoked the cigarette down almost to the filter. After carefully blowing away the ashes that had fallen on her chest, I took the cigarette, squashed it in the ashtray and bent over to taste her lips. She eagerly responded, yet much softer than before. We more like tasted each other's lips and tongue. Of course, I was interested more in the taste of that cigarette than in the actual kiss and I must say I wasn't disappointed. She tasted of tar, bitter sweet and delicious. Though of course I wouldn't want her to become a habitual drinker, if not, heaven forbid, alcoholic, I decided I would encourage her to drink with me some times when we were at home, alone. We hadn't been into drinks before, but many things had changed now, why not add something I could indulge on. Slowly, her eyes began to drop and I saw she was about to pass out. So I took her in my arms, which almost broke my back, as she, being almost as tall as I, had a much fuller body, weighing at least as much as I. But, though I do not look like it, I am quite strong when needed, so step by painful step, I managed to get her to bed. After taking a leek and brushing my teeth, I joined her. No need now to sleep apart. She snored lightly and didn't move when I spooned her. My dick was hardening again, but I just gently pushed her buttock apart and deposited my little big friend between her legs, in a safe distance from her still sticky intimacy. In the early days, we had done that quite often, after some more or less successful attempts to make love. Back then, she seemed to have enjoyed it so I saw no harm in it. My own fatigue took over and I fell asleep instantly. Later on, she moved, releasing my little buddy and I turned away to get some rest. Thursday, 15th of May Once again I awoke to the smell of fresh cigarette smoke. The sun shone right into my eyes. Obviously I had slept rather late. I felt really well for the first time since my return. Whatever mood she would be in now, I always believed that alcohol only sets free the normally suppressed feelings of a person and kills inhibitions, but it doesn't make any person act totally out of character. In my opinion, alcohol only reveals the true personality of people. So now I knew for a fact she still loved me and she wanted to be with me. Well, I said to myself, her misconduct had a good side to it too. She had lost her inhibitions and in more than one way too. She smoked a lot, she drank alcohol and she was eager to have sex with me. Hopefully I would be able to always perform, otherwise I would give her a reason to loose her way once again. One thing was clear to me. I would rather quit my job than ever leave her alone again for more than a day or two. "Hi Sweetey." She greeted me. "If you don't mind I'm probably still reeking of alcohol, the way I poured down marguerites last night, come over and give me a hug. I could use one right now." Seeing how her eyes sparkled and the way she smiled at me, a little shy, unsure how I would react, but with obvious desire in them, I wasted no time and we were once again smooching and hugging each other's breath out. She held my face with both hands and I felt the filter tip of her cigarette brush my cheek. And didn't that send my raving again? She tasted of old and fresh tar and still of alcohol, though not as much as the night before. I could have jumped her right on the kitchen floor, but I held back. There would be time for that and I much suspected she was quite hung over. "Aren't you late for work?" I asked worriedly. "Nope." She replied cheerfully. "I took the day off. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist getting drunk last night, not the way I felt. I even left the car home and took a cab to work and home from the bar. Well, to be honest, I admit I've been drinking a bit on Wednesdays with the girls while you were away, so I usually took a cab." "Quite reasonable of you." I replied, a little cooled down, as again she reminded me of all the shit. "Are you mad at me because I took to drinks? It's not like I'm developing a habit, I still do it only once in a while, but, drinking and smoking can be so, well addictive I guess. I just love to do that once in a while." She replied pleadingly. "Never mind." I said, now cheerful again, as she had pushed the right button. "I don't mind at all. You were, how should I say that, so spectacular last night that, I don't mind at all, at least once in a while. But tell me, do you remember anything, or did you have one drink too many? And by the way, how is your head doing? Shall I get you an aspirin or something?" "Oh, your such a darling, I don't deserve you." She said breathlessly, after we smooched again for quite a while. "And yes, I wasn't that drunk, I do remember that alien who crept into the skin of my poor hubby, turning him into a sex machine." She said, winking at me. As we still held each other, I smelt every breath of her and I loved it. So, I couldn't but kiss her once more. "But what about your headache?" I asked. "Mmmh, not so bad, nothing that a few cigarettes won't cure and maybe after I had a nap, which I think I'll take right away, ALONE, we might wipe the rest away with a bit of hot stuff." She answered winking once more. "But you must do me a huge favor. I don't suppose you would have some more of those yummy ciggies stashed away somewhere? We're out of OJ too, so do you mind darting to the mall and buy your poor nicotine-junky of a wife a carton of menthol cigarettes or two? Just choose a brand for me, as long as it has enough menthol flavor. I'm in the mood for experiments. I'll take my nap now. I hope I can fall asleep before I go mad with cravings. You don't know how worried I was about this smoking stuff. It's such a relief that you're supporting of it and I can share my feelings about it with you and smoke all the time." she said with a yawn.