Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. Paradise Lost, Paradise Regained, Part 5 But then Moira came home from work. Even before she had the door full open, she cried out. "Where are those fucking cigarettes?" We almost bumped into each other on our way to the kitchen. She all but flung herself at the cupboard and nearly sent the coffee can flying while reaching for the pack of Salems. With shaking hands she spilled half of them over the floor before she could get hold of one and then I had to snatch it from her mouth in the last moment. She was about to light the filter end of the cigarette. She flinched at first, but then she laughed at what she had almost done. Gratefully she accepted the light I offered her, took an impressive double drag followed right away by a rich nose exhale while she pulled on her cigarette for the next inhale. In other words she performed the perfect combined inhale-exhale, beating most of the ones I had seen on the web. Of course my arousal, which had been on standby all day, went sky high. Any concerns I might have had about yesterday being a one time high in her addiction, scattered instantly. She was as eager to smoke as ever. Unless... Well I would clear that up right away. Despite her halfhearted resistance, I took her gently in my arms, by laying my arms lightly around her shoulders. She still held the cigarette to her lips with one arm, which stood in the way between her ample bosom and my chest. But I wasn't eager on something too sexual yet. "What happened, Sweety? Did you forget your cigarettes? You could've called me, I'd have brought them to you. I had do take the car back to Sixt anyway." I asked her soothingly and then gave her slight peck. "Oh sorry, Honey. I just didn't want to bother you." Saying the she kissed me, short but wet. At least she had taken cigarette arm down and now she settled well into my embrace. Her gorgeous breast now firmly against my chest, hard nipples poking through the bra and the thin fabric of her blouse. "I did take a pack with me, but I'm such a naughty girl! I finished them all till after lunch. I had to run some errands and I learned that from the other girls when I started joining them on smoke breaks. We all volunteer to bring documents to other departments in person. We do have house-mail and all that shit, but sometimes somebody urgently needs an original somewhere, so there are plenty of occasions to walk from on end of the site to the other. Well, not every day, but when it happens, we have to draw sticks to decide who's gonna get it. The other two girls in the office smoke too, so no rain or snow can keep us inside." She spurted out, puffing smoke all the time. She seemed so drained of nicotine she finished the cigarette in no time, never bothering to breathe in fresh air between drags. Not that there was much clean air available any more. She had filled the air with smoke and the whole kitchen was foggy with smoke. "Anyway, today I won three out of four runs, so each time I had one on the way somewhere, another one on the way back, plus the girls bummed one each from me and well, I had my smoke breaks too, with the girls and then well, lunch came, so I don't know somehow I found myself with an empty pack. I'll always take two with me from now on and I'll leave one in the office too, just in case." She went on with her narrative, making my dick harder with every word and with every puff she talked out next to my face. There's one huge benefit if you're holding a woman with a cup size D or E in your arms. You can feel her breast pretty well, while her face is right in front of you. Try that with a cup B girl and you'll either break your back bending backwards, or you have to choose. It's either her breasts on your chest or her lips on your face. When you kiss her, you just can't get near enough to crush her breasts on your chest, and if you do try to get her chest near enough to you can just nibble at her ear at best or kiss the back of her neck. But, with Moira I had hit the jackpot big time. Not only did she wear bras size 40D and even those were almost too tight. Even without the support of a bra her breast were quite firm, almost as if they had been modelled by a good surgeon, but of course she had been gifted by nature with such mindboggling beauties. Well, 40D sounds more like a big matron and indeed, the first few times I had the chance to take her into my arms, it did feel a bit odd to hold such a big body, but she was by now means fat. Big yes, but with a 31 waist and 42 hips, she still looked very feminine. No limp flesh hanging around anywhere and as she measured close to six feet she was absolutely statuesque. Maybe some time in the future her perfectly firm flesh would start softening and her breast might give way to gravity, but little did I care about what lay ahead. I had more than enough on my hands with the near future. "I bummed a few from the girls till around four, but then they left, leaving me flat and I had to finish some paperwork, so I hadn't had one since then. As if by some dark magic I couldn't see anybody else turn up at the Smokehouse till it was time to leave. It's a miracle I didn't wreck the car on my way back. I could've stopped to get some ciggies on the way, I guess, but I knew you were here with the green beauties, so I drove straight on. God, I just need another one, sorry Sweety. And please, do you mind if I want to enjoy this one without distraction?" Though I was delighted by her narrative and the fact that she had finished a whole pack under rather adverse conditions, as even in Virginia smoking in the offices was a no go in most companies, except those involved directly in the production of the evil weed, I was a bit disappointed that she was for the first time cutting me out of the pleasure to partake in her smoking. Ever since I had started to feel differently about the other sex, I had felt an urge that was at least as strong as the then still unfathomable desire to do something with their body and mine. And that urge was to be close up, mouth to mouth and nose to nose, with a woman smoking a cigarette. The day before I had suppressed any bad feelings regarded her treachery in exchange to the cumulated pleasures of seeing the woman I loved so dearly, turned into the smoker of my dreams. To make it perfect she also had been quite willing if not eager to allow me to relish on it, to do all those things I had yearned for all these years. To suddenly get all those things out of the blue, when I had been ready to ban them from my mind for the rest of my life with the words "I will", had been such an sublime delight and hadn't it been for the circumstances, I might have declared that very first smoky kiss the most wonderful moment in my life so far. But now the spell was broken. She was beginning to fall into the usual pattern as all the other smokers before her. Smoky kisses and smoke play zoomed out of the picture back into fantasy-land. My thoughts must have been pretty obvious. "Oh Honey, so sorry, how thoughtless of me." Moira said. "I almost forgot how delighted you are when I play with you and smoke. Come here and let mama smoke you in. It's not that I don't like it. Just for a moment I forgot it was you and, well other men aren't that way..." she started, eager to fix her mistake just to stumble into the next one. I have never been very good at hiding my emotions, so she immediately saw the effect of her gaffe on me. Thoughtlessly she had again shoved my nose into the pile of shit by hinting at her adventures with other men. That sent her tears once more running freely down her cheeks. She sucked desperately on her cigarette, the fourth one since she had returned. That left me helpless and though I might have punished her by turning away, but love and fetish combined took the better of me and I pulled her back into my arms, again with her cocked up left arm between us. I placed my right arm so that it made it hard for her the put her arm down. I wanted it to stay there for a while as I wanted to have her face with the cigarette in full view. I soothed her to show her that I didn't want the bitterness to return more than she wanted. "Sweety, don't forget I love you despite all that. We can't avoid the subject all the time! It's bound to pop up whatever we do. Maybe it's better we drag it all out in the open. Maybe not today, but by and by. Promise me not to hide anything any more. Whatever happens and even if it will be hurtful. And I want one thing clear once and for all. If I'd wanted to walk out on you I'd have done that right away, when I saw you humping that guy. I don't want to kid myself, its not pleasant to think of what you did, but I told you I do have my share in it. Please trust me on one thing. Whatever you did those months while I was away, I don't think anything you have to tell me can be worse then that first glimpse at you on top of that guy. If I have survived that, without going gonzo and without killing you both, nothing from the past can really hit me that bad. If I've learned one thing, and I mean even before I learned about your smoking, it was that I'm hooked to you for good. You are my nicotine, my pot and my H." My speech had exhausted me and now I learned for the first time that my fetish actually went beyond just watching. Knowingly or not, I happened to breath in the long and creamy stream of smoke she exhaled right into my face. I still believe she hadn't done it on purpose, but she had pointed the smoke right on target, so I got a full load of it and it worked on me. And how it did! Immediately I felt invigorated and for the first time I got a hint of what smoke was to the smokers. Actually I had read all there was to read on the web about smoking, nicotine and even other drugs, but first hand experience was something else. "Honey please, let me take my arm out. I wanna kiss you bad." She whispered puffing more smoke my way. Of course I did and we started smooching big time. She quickly regained her smoking style of the day before, never forgetting her cigarette for long. It was becoming increasingly painful for my little friend in my pants. So I started hostilities, or tried to, at least, as the next disappointment awaited me. "Wait Honey." She exclaimed and wriggled out of my embrace. "Not right now, please. I'm tired, I'm sweaty and sticky, I haven't eaten yet and there's something else." She would tell me she hated fucking with me, or that I was a potz and a freak to get turned on by her smoking. She had changed her mind and would leave me for one of her lovers or maybe The lover. How could I know she hadn't had a true affair, getting involved with another guy or woman or...? Luckily these thoughts just passed like a piece of shrapnel though my head but hadn't had the time to settle in or produce much damage before she explained herself and made me blush with shame. "I'm afraid there's a reason other than the obvious one that I was so nervous that I smoked more than the ration for a whole day till lunch time. I have my days." And saying this she gave me the sweetest kiss right on my lips, but keeping her own closed. Seemed she had also come to her senses somewhat, as she abstained from smoking for the next hour or so. Given the circumstances, I didn't mind, as it would have been too frustrating. So I didn't molest her while she showered and ate a few sandwiches I prepared for her. This made her comment: "Hey, maybe I should've turned wild earlier! Look what it did to you! The guy never touched a broomstick in his life and now his cleaning the house, doing the dishes, the laundry, cooking and he even cleans my ashtrays." She said mockingly, as in a comedy show, making me half expect to hear prerecorded laughter. This earned her a kiss on her forehead. After all, kissing her while she smoked was one thing, but while she ate? Especially as she didn't smoke while eating, though come time, who knows? She looked at me inquisitively, realizing she had once more stepped into mined territory, but she saw no clouding in my cheerful attitude. Indeed, I found myself quite untouched by her repeated allusion to her misdeeds. It seemed that by proclaiming I wanted to hear it all rather than push it aside, wishing rather than believing it, something had happened to me. I still had quite mixed feelings about it, but anger and depression had softened to make room for a sort of perverted arousal. I had no idea where this would lead me, though my reaction last Friday to go for a threesome instead of hitting and cursing didn't come from nothing. I had to look the bull in the eye, how ever frightening the sight was. She finished her meal and leant back. "Promise I won't shut you out of my smoke, ever, but could I, just for once, have a ciggie on my own? I'll smoke so much you'll get thick if it, so you'll have plenty of occasions but just now and then I'd like to just have smoke without any side-effects." I sighed and nodded. Deep down inside I knew she was right. As much as I hated it, I knew we couldn't go on like we had done the past days. I was, however, disappointed and it didn't escape Moira's attention, it couldn't. She was watching my reactions much closer than she had ever before, still insecure and frightened. I had to remind me that that was the plan anyway. As long as I kept her out of balance, she was much easier to manipulate and I had chances to adjust her towards where I wanted to have her. Though of course I couldn't hope to turn her into my private sex-slave, yet I could, with care and a bit of luck, sort of improve her to suit my desires much better. She had started without my doing anyway and I would see that she didn't stop too early. "So what shall we do now?" I asked with a trace of bitterness. "Sex is out and you're done with those little pleasures too." "Oh c'mon, that's not fair." She replied, talking smoke and teasing me unknowingly. "Well, let's not talk about fairness, shall we?" I replied, a little louder than intended. "Yeah, I guess we shouldn't. I keep forgetting, oh well I try not to think of..." she said hoarsely, the tears to come already choking her. That wasn't what I had intended, so, as she had just stubbed out her cigarette, I doubled over her and hugged her a bit. "Thanks, Honey." She whispered in my ear and kissed me on the cheek. She smelled so well that for a moment I was tempted to just forget and forgive. What could I gain by poking into the old wound? But then I called myself to order. In the long run I couldn't win, not if I left things as they were. "Look, why don't we sit and talk for a while? I mean face to face and I'd appreciate if you'll try not to smoke too much. It would distract me. I have loads of questions and remember, if you want us to have a chance, don't lie or even hide anything from me. I promise that whatever you tell me, it won't change my mind. I want to be with you I want us to have good marriage, at least from now on." I said rather flatly, trying to keep my emotions out of my voice. I was scared shitless of what I might hear, but I was more afraid of sleepless nights with all kinds of suspicions haunting me.