Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 A Love Story (Alternative working title: You've got mail, the true story)

   Out of sheer boredom one night I joined a chatroom.  Ana always went to
bed early and left me with a couple of hours to spend alone.  Usually I
would sit in front of the TV set, watching soap operas or old movies.  I
especially loved the old movies were most of the female characters smoked.
Yet that night I had no zest for couch potatoing so I turned on my
Computer. On a whim I decided to join a chatroom.  I had never done that
before as I often find it hard to think up a witty answer on the spot. 
Most of the talk going on was quite dreary but then a chatter showed up
that seemed to type in the same answers I would have given.  On an impulse
I sent him a private message.  He seemed glad and gave me his mail address.
I do not remember ever having had a close friend, not the kind to confess
ones inner thoughts to.  Having a fetish like mine simply forbade that. 
How could I explain somebody that I couldn't get a hard on unless the woman
I was with smoked?  But with the anonymity of the web I thought I might put
together all my courage and talk to a complete stranger about my feelings.
Maybe that was why I decided to try a mail friendship with that guy.  I
sent him a rather commonplace mail and waited for his response.  Of course
I would not start confessing right away but I hoped in time he and I would
get real friends.  For weeks on end we exchanged mails almost every day. 
He told me about his occupation, he had a little record store and had
accordingly chosen the nickname DJ95, about his sorrows of which he had
many and lots of other things I have mostly forgotten.  I answered much in
the same way, probing for his attitude towards life, politics and all the
rest.  The more we wrote to each other, the more it turned out we had lots
in common.  Our mails turned more and more into a sort of shared diary of
our lives.  There was one topic we somehow never touched and that was our
love life.  I had no idea if he lived alone or had someone, if he was
straight or gay or anything along that line.  Except maybe on occasions I
believed to read between the lines he was interested in men rather more
than I would expect a straight man to be.  There also was one difference
between us.  He smoked while I didn't.  Often in his mail he would refer to
his smoking.  Whether he threw in a remark that he needed a cigarette soon
or that he complained having smoked too much that day, the topic was often
present in his mails.

   Things went on like this for some months.  While things with Ana went
from bad to worse my friendship with DJ95 grew to the point I shared more
of my life with him then with Ana.

   With Ana I had reached the point I had to admit I never should have met
her.  Not that we quarreled or hated each other.  We just found out more
and more we had nothing in common.  After the first heat had cooled down we
simply drifted apart.  Moving in together had been the last attempt to mend
what could not be mended.

   I had met her in the most common way, at a party.  At first glance she
hadn't impressed me much.  We had been introduced to each other by mutual
friends.  I had dismissed her from the list of possible candidates after
exchanging a few words.  Later that night I went to the kitchen of the
apartment and found her there smoking.  That changed everything.  The sight
of a woman smoking has always been a big turn on for me, especially if the
woman looked reasonably good.  A cigarette could turn a woman of average
looks into a sex goddess in my eyes.  So as soon as I saw Ana smoking I
fell for her.  Besides she had a wonderful smoking style.  That night we
ended up talking for hours while she smoked up most of a pack of cigarettes
in front of me.  I was all hot on her and before the party ended we were
already smooching and kissing.  The first weeks with her were heaven. 
Finally I had found a smoker who returned my affection.  Sex with her had
taken some adjustment from both of us but in the end neither of us had
reasons to complain.  Too bad that by and by I found she was quite
different from how I had tried to see her.  Even her smoking turned out to
be less alluring than I had expected.

   Then one day I decided to get to the next stage in my friendship with
DJ95.  I confessed that I had a hang on women that smoked.  To my dismay
when he answered he ignored my confession completely.  So I thought he
wasn't interested in the subject.  Maybe he was a bit disappointed in our
friendship as lately I had not been in good spirits and that reflected in
my mails.

   It was on a Friday that we had a celebration in the company.  Usually I
hate these kinds of gathering.  Although I was on friendly terms with all
my colleagues I had no really close friends there.  In the past I would
drink a glass or two, eat something and leave early.  This time I had a
reason not to leave.  Ana was out and would return late as she had done
more often recently.  If I had felt otherwise for her I might have been
worried.  Chances were she was seeing another man but the way things were
going I couldn't care less.  We hadn't slept with each other for a long
time and the only reason I hadn't put an end to it was that I didn't want
to hurt her.

   So this time I stayed at the party.  I was just filling up my cup with
wine when someone pushed my elbow.  I looked around and there stood a
woman. She had bumped into me by mistake and looked quite embarrassed.  As
my cup had been only half filled I hadn't spilled anything so no harm was
done.  Yet she couldn't stop apologizing.  I gathered all my charm together
and told her she needn't worry in the sweetest words I could bring up.  The
reward was a smile all over her face and a pretty face it was I was looking
into.  I felt the sting of instant attraction.  She was by no means
remarkable yet she radiated a sort of quiet sensuality.  While she didn't
represent the type I usually prefer she still impressed me.  There would be
no harm in having a little chat if she would be inclined.  And she was.  We
made some small talk for a while and then she asked me a question that
surprised me in the most pleasant way.

   'Where do you people go when you want to smoke?' Her question warmed my
heart.  Not only did I like her - and hopefully she felt the same about me
- but she was a smoker too.  Two wheels showed the seven already.  The
third one was still spinning.

   'I'll show you the way.'

   'So you're in for a smoke too?' hope glittered in her eyes.

   'Oh, I'm afraid I'm not a member of the club.' 'Too bad!  So you won't
join me for a cigarette?' Now her eyes showed genuine disappointment.  She
certainly had very expressive eyes.  While she seemed to be a natural
blonde her eyes were of a deer like brown.  It was the sexiest combination
I had ever seen.

   'Oh, I certainly will.  I wouldn't want to miss your company.' That made
her smile again.  She really had a wonderful smile that made her whole face
light up.  It was absolutely irresistible.

   'So you don't mind being exposed to secondhand smoke?'

   'No, not in the least.  Even if I would believe all those scary tales
about the effects of secondhand smoke on non-smokers, which incidentally I
don't, I would still enjoy the smell.'

   She looked very surprised.

   'You must be the last of your kind.  What a nice thing to say.'

   Then she actually gave me a peck and afterwards she blushed heavily. 
She certainly had no idea of the effects female smokers had on some men.  I
did the best thing that came to my mind.  I took her hand and kissed it
slightly.

   'Thank you Madam but I only told the truth.  I deserve no credit for
that.'

   Now she laughed.  We had reached the smoking area outside the building.
Luckily it was a very pleasant spring evening.  Like most of the people
there she was dressed rather casually, wearing just a tank top.  I could
see that she had quite impressive breasts that needed no wonder bra to give
them a breathtaking look.

   We chatted while she smoked and for the first time in years I felt just
comfortable.  The words came out naturally and I didn't have to pretend or
play a role.  It was like talking to my oldest friend.  Alas it became late
and we had to leave.  I was stupid enough not to ask for her name and
hadn't offered mine either.  Even worse, I had no chance to find her in the
company as she had been there only to accompany a friend and did not work
there.  Whether it was her boyfriend or just a friend I hadn't dared to
ask. I left for home frustrated, and the fact that Ana came home even later
didn't raise my mood either.  She smelled of alcohol and something else but
I simply didn't care.  My mind was with the unknown blonde beauty.

   The only one I could share it with was DJ95.  As we didn't know each
other personally, and most likely never would meet, I saw no harm in
sharing some of my feelings with him.  Yet I was surprised at his rather
brief answer.  One could almost believe he was jealous.

   We still exchanged lots of thoughts but after that I stopped mentioning
things out of my emotional life to him.  It still was a great pleasure to
talk to him about lots of things.  I was contemplating giving Ana a second
chance when she surprised me by telling me she would leave me.  My
intuition had been correct.  She confessed that she had been sleeping with
another guy for a while and now wanted to "untangle things" as she put it.
It did hurt, but it was a relief also.

   She cleared out without much fuss and I was alone again.  Against my
determination to leave my emotional life out of my correspondence with
DJ95, I just couldn't help telling him that I was alone again.  I told him
that Ana had been cheating on me for a while and had finally left me, a
fact that had left me a bit sad but not really surprised.  I half expected
him to ignore that just as he had most of the time, but he surprised me.  I
got a mail full of sympathy and understanding from him.  In fact his letter
was almost too emotional for a man.  I had suspected he was gay before and
my suspicion turned into certainty.  Not that I mind gay people.  Like most
men I am thrilled by female homosexuality.  On gay men I didn't bear a
grudge, even thou I was somehow unsettled if I had to talk to one.  But
then DJ95 was just a remote figure and it really didn't matter.  I knew I
was in danger of losing him but I wanted to know, so I asked him outright
if he was gay.

   For almost a week he kept silent and I was about to write a mail of
apology when I found the familiar "You've got mail" on the screen of my
computer.  The subject line was blank and my hands trembled when I clicked
on the "Open" button.  Would he be mad at me?  Some people don't like to be
confronted with the truth.  Nowadays gays have achieved a level of
acceptance that would allow straights to ask such a simple question and a
lot of them admitted their sexual orientation freely, yet there were enough
of them who still had problems to sort out themselves.  However what
emerged in the letter made my head spin.  The mail was as short as it was
stunning.

   "No I'm not gay.  I don't like girls."

   That made no sense, but the next lines removed any possible doubts.

   'I'm a straight girl.  I love men not women.'

   I stared in disbelief at the screen for quite a while.  Now I thought I
understood why she had been reluctant to pick up some of the topics I had
taken up in my mails.  My first reaction was of anger.  Under the pretense
of being a man she had made me share thoughts I wouldn't have given away in
front of a woman.  After the first shock had gone away I felt like I needed
fresh air.  It wasn't that late.  Ever since Ana had moved out I didn't
have to wait till late at night to check my mails.

   I wondered around the streets aimlessly for a while.  In a back alley I
stumbled upon a record shop I hadn't noticed before.  Ever since E-commerce
had started I ordered whatever I wanted online, so it had been a while
since I had visited a record shop.  I was surprised that this little shop
still survived.

   Inside I found something out of another age.  The place was stuffed with
all sorts of records, not CDs but genuine vinyl records.  I was fascinated.
At home I still had quite a sizable collection of vinyls but Ana had
banished them to the cellar and true enough I hadn't listened to one in
years.  When the CDs had started to spread in earnest I had stopped buying
vinyls in favor of CDs and now had duplicates of most of my records on CDs.
Still my fascination for the almost antique technology of using a tiny
needle to scratch out the music from the microscopic grooves of a big
plastic plate had not left me entirely.  Sometimes I dreamt of digitizing
all my records and burning them on CDs or even Audio-DVDs but there were
always other things that kept me from doing it.

   A woman came to greet me, engulfed in a cloud of aromatic cigarette
smoke.  She must have been in a back room smoking when I came.  In the
rather dim light of the shop I couldn't make out her face but then as she
approached I couldn't believe my eyes.  Blonde Beauty from the party
fourteen days ago!  I was overwhelmed by the unexpected chance of meeting
her again.  She obviously felt the same, as her face was flooded with the
same happy smile I had seen on her the first time we had met.

   'How did you find me?  I wasn't expecting to ever see you again.  What a
nice surprise.' She asked joyfully.

   'Oh, I'm afraid you're doing me too much credit.  I just stumbled into
this shop by mere chance.'

   This seemed to disappoint her a bit.

   'So you're not the white knight to come and rescue me from this?' she
asked, making a circular move with her arm, to embrace the inside of the
shop.

   'Oh, once I'm here, why not?  I certainly wanted to see you again, yet I
was stupid enough to let you go without introducing or even asking who the
guy was that brought you there.  At least let me correct my unforgivable
rudeness.  Ralf Forrester at your service.'

   This brought her smile back and she extended her hand to meet mine.

   'Diane Jordan.  Pleased to meet you.  Again.'

   She laughed.  I had rarely heard such a pleasant laugh.  Rather low and
from deep down.

   'Likewise.  Tell me when do you close shop?' No sense to waste time.

   'Oh, I'm afraid 'I'll close at the end of the month.  That or I'll be
broke in no time.  This shop is only burning money lately.'

   'I'm sorry to hear that.  It must be very hard for you.  But I was
asking about tonight.'

   Again that wonderful laugh.

   'Oh, I got that alright.  Just joking, even thou it's not funny.  I can
close anytime.  In fact I was preparing to go home when you showed up.  But
you needn't pity me.  I have enough money to last for a year or more and I
expect to get quite a lot out of the records.  I already have a good offer
for some of them.  My father had been quite a collector and there are some
really rare records buried under all that stuff.  I'm not even sure if I
should be sad.  I loved this shop but maybe it's better that way.  Now I
get the kick in the ass that will propel me forward.  Maybe I'll go for a
PhD or something.'

   She sounded quite joyful.

   'Or maybe I can find a prince on a white horse that will take me home
and take care of me.'

   Another cascade of her wonderful laugh.

   She finished quickly and without many words we landed at her place
across the street.  The obvious followed.  She smoked throughout foreplay
and made me feel in heaven.  The rest was as good as I had ever experienced
it.  In the morning I had to leave her to go home and dress for work.  She
was still sleeping and I took care not to wake her up.  We had not talked
about meeting again but I thought we needed no words to know this was just
the beginning.

   But then life does play nasty tricks on us from time to time.  Finding
her by chance must have used up all my luck.  The next day I had to attend
an unexpected business dinner with some customers.  I had stupidly
forgotten to take her phone number so I had no way of phoning her.  I would
have to let her wait till the next day.  If I had remembered the dinner I
would have left her a note but with all the excitement I had simply
forgotten all about it.

   Now I would have to pay for it.  I went to her shop, hoping she wouldn't
be mad at me for disappearing, but in horror I found the shop closed and
emptied.  I ran over to her apartment but she wouldn't answer the bell. 
Then I took a closer look and her name wasn't on the door bell anymore.  I
remembered precisely that it had been there, a little piece of cardboard
with D.  Jordan written in print on it.  How could that be?  I almost felt
like I was in one of those Hitchcock movies where a disappearance is
arranged by a spy agency.  I sat there for an hour hoping against reason
she might be just out and would come back.  Then, while looking at my watch
for the thousandth time I noticed the date.  It was the 30th.  She had
mentioned she would give up the shop at the end of the month but it hadn't
occurred to me the end of the month was only two days away.  I cursed
myself for being so careless and neglecting to ask for a phone number or
offering mine or at least my address.  Then that business meeting.  I would
have rather risked getting fired than loosing Diane.

   I knew next to nothing about her but still I had felt as comfortable
with her as a man could expect to be.  She certainly had been worth a try.
Now I had stupidly wasted my chance.  She was gone and I had no idea how I
was going to find her again.

   Finally, back home, what else was there to do than share all this with
DJ95.  She had hidden her gender in front of me, but still she seemed the
only soul in the world I could open up my soul for.  Besides, now that I
came to think of it, she had in fact never actually pretended to be a man.
I had assumed it, but why should I blame her?  Maybe she had noticed in
time I was on the wrong track and had feared I might be disinclined to
become friends with a woman.  It came to me that I had been an idiot and
whether she was male or female didn't really matter.  Apart from Diane she
was the only other person I felt was on the same wavelength or hoped so. 
We simply had no time to really find that one out.

   So I sat down in front of my computer to apologize to DJ95 and tell her
my story.  I wrote a mail as polite and friendly as I could, also writing
about my unhappy interlude with Diane.

   The next days turned into a nightmare.  Diane was gone.  I had tried to
find out from her neighbors, both of the shop and her apartment, but nobody
knew anything.  I had obviously messed it up with DJ95 too as she never
cared to answer.

   After a gloomy week and endless hours of brooding over my bad luck,
finally I had an idea.  In fact I got mad at myself because I hadn't
thought of it earlier.  Someone would have to have a contact for Diane.  I
would try the landlord of the apartment she had lived in and try the town
hall.  She had closed shop true, but she might have left a phone number or
address in case there was legal stuff left to deal with.  It was Sunday
night and I could hardly wait for the morning.

   To my disappointment I couldn't find the right person to talk to in the
town hall.  All I had left was the hope one of her neighbors would give me
the phone number of her landlord.  The hours till I could leave office
stretched endlessly.  Then I could finally leave.  I raced to her apartment
and after knocking on every door in the building finally an old lady gave
me what I searched for.  Before she even closed the door I had already
dialed the number on my cell phone.

   But my bad luck wasn't over.  A nice female voice told me that the owner
of the building would return only at the end of the week and he was the
only one who could look Diane up in his papers.  Another five days to
waste!

   In the company nobody said anything but I doubt they could have missed
my gloomy mood.  Luckily there were no customers due that week, otherwise
who knows what could have happened.

   One day short of the term I could hope to talk to Diane's former
landlord I checked for mails.  I didn't expect to hear from DJ95 but there
it was..  I had all but given up hope to hear from DJ95.  At least it would
give me some comfort.  I opened the mail.

   Subject: so sorry

   "Dear Gefor,

   First, let me apologize for having kept silent for so long.  I have
moved and had not anticipated that I would have troubles getting a web
connection for so long.  I would have warned you but my Notebook broke down
one day before I had to move out of my apartment.  I had to get it fixed
and I had to move and fight with the ISP to get my web account working at
the new address, in short things have gone wild for a while.  Maybe it
wasn't a bad idea to think things over.  I realize now you feel like a
fool. I must admit that I had been playing a little innocent game with you.
It hadn't been my intention to hide my gender at first.  Then when I
finally understood you took me for a man I was just curious.  I wanted to
find out how a man talks about women to another man.  Now I know it had
been a stupid idea and I hope you still want to be my cyber-friend.  After
all you proved to be a real gentleman, and except for your rather cryptic
remark about smoking, you have never talked nasty about women, not the way
women always suspect men talk to each other.  So I didn't learn anything
except I think higher of you than ever.  That you suspected me of being gay
had shocked me at first but now I realize that it only shows how perceptive
you are.  Wish I had a man like you in my life...

   Now to your remark on smoking.  I love to smoke but it never occurred to
me that a man could be anything else except tolerant about my smoking.  Yet
you said you find women that smoke sexy.  How come?  This is a bit past me.
The strangest thing about it is that sometimes smoking makes me feel
aroused a little.  But that this should work on a man sounds pretty weird
to me.  Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.  I don't think you are
weird in any way it's just so unexpected.  Besides, if I were to meet a man
who wouldn't object my smoking...  If I could even turn him on by lighting
up...  That doesn't sound weird at all.  No, on the contrary...

   Do you think there are more men like you?

   DJ95"

   This mail had come at the right moment!  I felt an enormous relief.  At
least DJ95 hadn't let me down.  Even better, she wasn't completely against
a guy with a smoking fetish.  But it would be vain to hope for anything
except friendship.  For all I knew she could be fat or ugly or both, or she
might live on the other side of the globe, totally out of reach.  Still it
was a quite thrilling idea to have a friend to whom I could talk about
things and get answers from a feminine point of view.  I wrote an
enthusiastic reply.  I told her that a lot of men find smoking sexy and a
few of them more than that.

   The next day I finally got hold of the landlord.  It took me half an
hour but I managed to talk him into giving me a cell phone number Diane had
left him for emergencies.  With trembling hands I dialed the number.  It
rang endlessly till finally I got the voice box on the line.  I hung up. 
Maybe if I could talk to her it may change things but I didn't have the
nerve to leave her a message and wait for her to ring back.  After all she
did know somebody in our company and could have simply asked the guy how
she could reach me, where as I had no way of finding her.

   With DJ95 I hadn't gone into detail about my love life, but I felt now
was the time to do it.  So I wrote her a mail telling her in short what was
on my mind.  How Ana had turned out not to be "the one" and why, how I had
met Diane and then after a hot night lost her by mere stupidity, how
miserable I now felt and how much I missed Diane.

   I had to wait for two days till she answered.  She apologized again for
the delay but without getting into details.  It occurred to me that she
knew a lot more about me then I did about her.  I had no idea if she lived
alone or with someone, if she was happy or not or anything about her
personal situation at all.  This time it was different.  She tried to
comfort me as best as she could and then told me that she too had been
disappointed by a man recently, who had disappeared after a one night
stand.

   Our cyber-friendship had moved to another level, so I dared give it a
try.  I invited her to a private chat with me.  Within seconds she was
online.
DJ95: Hi.  Nice thinking.
Gefor: Likewise.  How are you?
DJ95: Been better : (
Gefor: Me too.  Miss her.  : (
DJ95: Miss him.  :'-(
Gefor: What can we do about it?
DJ95: Any ideas?
Gefor: Meet?
DJ95: IRL?
Gefor: Yeah
DJ95: Promise you'll behave if I light up?  (lol)
Gefor: Yes Ma'm!  (lol back)
DJ95: You sure?
Gefor: Don't worry.  I'd been in jail 100 times till now if not.
DJ95: Warn you!  I'll be off at the first sign!
Gefor: Try me.
DJ95: OK, OK!  Where?
Gefor: My place, your place?
DJ95: Bye
Gefor: Just kidding.  Flashy?  Style?
DJ95: Need that?
Gefor: Me?  No way.  Hate it.

   DJ95 Me too.  Outside West Mall?  Food corner?
Gefor: Perfect.
DJ95: How do I recognize you?
Gefor: Know Quasimodo?
DJ95: The hunchback?  Like in Disney?  Uuugh!
Gefor: Look for someone uglier...
DJ95: Easy.
Gefor: Kidding...  know CD of Pictures at an Exhibition?
DJ95: Is the night dark?.
Gefor: Thought so.  That and a Lakers Cap.  Good enough?
DJ95: When?
Gefor: Tomorrow 6pm?
DJ95: Can't wait.  Will be good to weep together.
Gefor: Bye
DJ95: Bye

   There, I had done it!  It wasn't the first time I had acted on an
impulse.  And it might not be the first time to regret it too.  I was
excited and thrilled yet afraid to be utterly disappointed.  Then there was
Diane.  Even if DJ95 turned out to be a real knockout, could I and should I
forget about Diane that easily?  What if DJ95 was one of those whale like
creatures the size of a small Hyundai?  Or maybe a dry old spinster?  How
would I keep myself from embarrassing her and me too?  What if she would
like me but I couldn't stand her?  Or the other way round?  Twenty four
hours stretched ahead of me - that would be hell.  In a last desperate
attempt I redialed Diane's phone number a hundred times till late at night,
and then from the first light of dawn all over again.  At work it was
pretty hard but even there I tried it every half an hour.  I was beginning
to believe her cell phone was out of order.  Either I got the busy signal
or it would ring endlessly or I got the out of order signal.  In the
afternoon I gave up.  I had to concentrate on the blind date with DJ95.

   At home I ran thru all my stuff to find the best suited shirt and jeans.
I showered endlessly, shaved, tried to bring my hair into a reasonable
shape, and would have been ready ahead of schedule.  Then I remembered that
I needed my "badges" as I called them, the cap and the CD.  Half an hour
and a clean shirt later I had finally gotten hold of both, but now I was
late.

   How I escaped a speeding ticket I don't know, but after two near crashes
I got there just on time.  I looked around the little food corner in open
air, which was in fact more like a picnic place, just some wooden tables
and benches.  Nobody there except a young family with two kids.  I choose a
table away from the noisy family, laid my CD in front of me and waited. 
The minutes trickled by maddeningly slow.  Every time a woman got out of
her car in the parking lot and seemed to head my way I hoped or feared it
might be her.  On such occasions I sometimes wished I had been a smoker
myself.  That way I could have passed my time better.  I loved to watch
women who smoked out of boredom or to calm down.  As it was I didn't even
dare to go fetch a soda for fear I'd miss her.

   Minute after minute, then quarter-hour after quarter-hour passed, and no
woman ever got near my table.  I was crushed.  Diane and now DJ95, the
woman I didn't even know and who didn't know me, had both walked out on me.
After two hours of waiting I gave up.  I hadn't done this in years but now
I felt like getting drunk.  Back home I threw off my clothes and started on
an almost full bottle of Bourbon.  Brooding drunkenly about my miserable
fate I almost forgot the bell like sound of my computer telling me I had
mail.  Obviously I had forgotten to turn the damn thing off.  I hadn't even
noticed that it was still running.  Sure enough it was DJ95 with an
apology. She sounded sweet enough even if she gave no specific reason, only
that she had been held up on short notice and had no chance to inform me.
Drunk as I was I didn't answer it thou.

   Luckily it was the weekend again, else my reputation at work would have
suffered even more than it already had.  My hangover was horrible.  At noon
I had recovered sufficiently to think about what to answer DJ95.  Should I
suggest a second try?  Was it worth it?  I tried to phone Diane again. 
Nothing!  So I offered DJ95 another date.  Same place same hour today.  She
agreed.  Yet I wasn't even sure what drove me to meet her.  It was Diane I
wanted, not an anonymous woman who could turn out to be totally
unattractive or too young or too old or who knows what.  The best I could
hope for was a little diversion, something to drive my gloomy mood away, if
only for a short time.  After all I really had enjoyed her mails and we
could be friends in the real world too.  She too had suffered a
disappointment so we had that in common.  I took the "gear", my cap and the
CD, but hid them in my pockets, so as not to give myself away too soon. 
This time I enjoyed the ride, and still was there a bit too soon.  I had
the idea to hide behind the glass front near the side entry to the mall
from where I had a good view of outside without being seen myself.  I was
early and it was no easier to wait than the day before.  I looked at my
watch twice every minute but it refused to advance faster.  Then I caught a
glimpse of a woman getting out of her car in the parking lot and heading
for another entrance to the mall, trailing smoke.  She was too far away to
recognize, but I could swear it was Diane.  My heart started to race.  But
could I leave and disappoint DJ95?  Maybe it wasn't Diane and I would chase
after wild geese and lose both of them.  What if DJ95 was such a cutie she
would make me forget about Diane all together?  What should I do?  I was at
the point of believing my imagination had played tricks on me, and it would
be a far too happy coincidence to find Diane like that when I smelled a
faint mixture of aromatic cigarette smoke and perfume right behind me.  I
hardly had the time to realize it was the same perfume Diane had used.  My
eyes were covered by two hands and I felt the wonderful body of a woman
pressing into my back.  Then she whirled around me and sealed my lips with
a long kiss.  Diane!

   A wave of heat flowed thru my body.  I squeezed her tight and could not
stop kissing her all over her face and then again locking my lips with
hers. Finally she pushed me away, struggling for air and flooding my face
with her wonderful smoke ridden breath.

   'Where have you gone?' was all I could get out.

   'That's a long story.  But isn't there something you wanted to do here?'
DJ95!  But how come she knew?  Or did she mean something else?  But then
she reached into the pocket of my jeans and extracted the cap and from the
other pocket the CD.

   'You will need these, I think.' She said teasingly.  Then it hit me. 
But that couldn't be possible.  Yet she knew and there was only one person
that could have known.

   'It's you!  DJ, those are your initials!' I exclaimed

   'Yes stupid, they are.  95 is the street number of my former shop.'

   The smile that had impressed me so much when we had first met, in person
that is, was there again flooding her face and making it shine.  It almost
seemed she smiled with her whole body.

   'Obviously you are smarter than me.  How come you knew and when did you
find out?'

   'Well, I may not be as smart as you think.  Truth is, I saw you
yesterday waiting to meet DJ95.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  Even thou the
clues had been there in your mails, I still had no idea we were talking
about the same events.'

   'But how come I didn't see you?'

   'Because I did the trick you tried today.  I hid here.  You see, I was
afraid of what I may find.  Then I saw you.  No mistake.  You had the right
things, the cap and the CD.  By the way, I'd love to hear it with you now.
You still have that good stereo equipment at home, like you wrote me once?'

   'Sure, Honey, I never lied to you.  But why did you run away?'

   She lowered her head and whispered:

   'I was ashamed of myself.'

   'But why?  You could have saved me the most miserable day of my life and
the hangover that followed.'

   'Poor Georgie.  I'm so sorry.' She underlined her apology with a long
kiss.  'You see, all of a sudden it became clear to me that it all had been
a stupid misunderstanding.  After that wonderful night together you left
without a word or a note and didn't return that evening.  I began to think
you had dumped me and all I had been to you was a one night stand.  I felt
so stupid.  Only yesterday after I reread your mails I understood that you
had no way of contacting me and hadn't grasped that I was moving out so
soon.  When I saw you sitting there waiting I just couldn't meet you face
to face.  I had to sort things out.  Fitting two different persons into one
isn't easy.'

   She dragged me out.

   'Sorry, Love but I need a cigarette right now.' Then she realized
something and looked into my eyes.

   'I'm still not finished with cramming all I know about Gefor into
George. You did once mention that smoking makes a woman sexy in your eyes.'

   This had taken me by surprise.  I made a quick decision.  I wanted it to
work out with Diane more than anything in my life.  I had to confess and do
it once and for all, otherwise my fetish would always stand between us.

   'Yes, that's so.'

   'Pretty funny.  So you went after me because I smoke?'

   'Yes and no.  You see I could say that I fell for you the first time you
smiled at me.  I had no idea that you smoked back then.  But of course I
hoped you would and it did help that you do.'

   'I'm still confused.  What has smoking to do with love?' she asked,
blowing smoke into my face as we were now sitting at one of the wooden
table.

   'With love nothing.  With sex, for me, everything.'

   'C'mon, don't play riddles with me.  I need to know.  I'm all fed up
with half-baked circumstantial affairs.  I fell in love with Gefor long ago
and George here fills in the picture nicely.  But we cannot go on if you're
not able to make it clear to me.'

   'OK, OK.  Sorry, but this isn't easy.  You see, it's like this.  I get
hot over a woman that smokes just like someone gets hot over big boobs or
pointed knees or an upturned nose.  If I fall in love with a woman it has
nothing to do with her smoking.  Only when I make love to her I get more
satisfaction out of it if I know she is a smoker and if I can smell it on
her.  And of course, watching a beautiful woman smoke makes me horny like
hell'

   'Hey, cool.  I never heard of something like that, but if I see it right
this comes in handy.  I love to smoke and if I have a guy at home who
doesn't mind but loves it instead, what can a girl want more?  Unless it
happens to you whenever you see a woman smoke.'

   'Look Diane.  I told you this has nothing to do with love.  I love you
and even if I get let's say a little excited over an attractive woman
smoking in front of me, that's no reason to forget what I feel for you and
do stupid things.  Other men get excited about attractive women too, even
if for different reasons.  It is not the smoking as such that drives me. 
It's only that if I find that a woman is attractive then she gets more
attractive if she smokes.  No less, no more.  If you want to trust me, then
it shouldn't be because I find you to be the only attractive woman in the
universe, but because I still love you even if I see or meet a woman that
might look better, thou I doubt I'll ever find one.'

   While I kept talking she had taken another cigarette and now played
little games with me till finally to shut me up she gave me a smoke filled
kiss.  The bulge in my pants grew unbearable.  Things had developed better
than I had dared to hope.  She had started smoke play as naturally as we
had done that all our life.

   'Then I have to take care not to disappoint you.' She said, again
smiling her wonderful smile.  After yet another smoky kiss she told me:

   'You know, I always wanted to try smoky kisses, but you're the first man
to enjoy it.' She sighed happily.  Then she sprang up and dragged me after
her.

   'Why are we wasting our time for here?  You promised me that CD.  I want
to start with the "Promenade" than speed up to "Blues Variations", relax to
the "Great Gates of Kew" and have my orgasm to the "Nutrocker".  Maybe
another one to...  "Tarkus"?  Have you ever tried it?  Or maybe "In the
Beginning" can sweeten up our foreplay, what do you think?  Ah...  I have
an idea!  I'd love to ride you with a cigar to...  the second disk of
"Welcome Back My Friends", starting with the piano improvisations.  God how
I love to listen to that and when it turns into "Carn Evil" ...

   THE END

   You can find our more about the CDs in this story following this link:
http://www.top-10.us/elp.shtml