Dirty Dr. Seuss #2: Duck Fuck Fucking fucking fucking fuck I think that I'll go fuck a duck. Floppy feathery flying swimmers How lustily they squawk when their coat shimmers. On the water they rest and lie Before the penetrate the sky. And if I have any luck today, The sky will not be the only thing treated this way. One approaches me by the lake Flaunting her wares, but not at a drake. "Squawk! Squawk! I want to suck your cock!" My ears perk. My cock jerks. Did I just hear a feathery friend say that she would like to suck my cock today? In response, she only stares, But not at me--at my downstairs! "Would you like to see something?" I propose, Reaching down to my lower nose. Down goes my fly, And up, to the sky Pops my cock. Responds the lovely lady, "Squawk!" Nearby, a boisterous mallard protests, "How can I compete?! Mine is dwarfed by insects!" But the sensuous empress ignores the horny inferior And, gaping in astonishment, I can see her soft interior. Sensing an opportunity, I act fast. Plunging my cock inside her, she cannot even gasp. One hump, two hump, three hump, four I can feel my cock knocking at her back door. Wildly she squawks, but in glee or misery? I care not: I'm getting duck fucked for free! A beak chomps my head, a wing swats my rocks Does this bitch not know how to suck cocks? Harder, faster, more forcefully I thrust I must finish before maimed by this bird of lust. At last! Liquid spews from my cock But it's as red as my wife, standing next to me in shock. Though I bleed, my wood is still more rigid than a tree Her nubile form enticing all blood to the tip of me. Ruefully, I allow my mind to usurp my heart From my beloved, my cock does depart. At that instant, my agonizing joy overflows Seamen showering my feathered (girl) friend, who knows That though my heart is hers despite her flaws My cock is not, because God made a mistake when he made ducks: They're so damn sexy, but they're lousy fucks.