Halloween: A Wife's Gift {Redman}
(c ) October 2000 

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Authors Note: The lack of story codes for this work is 
an intentional device of the author. An author's note 
at the end explains my reasoning. If you think you 
might be offended by that, please accept my invitation 
not to read this story. I would be interested in any 
comments or corrections that readers might care to 
share with me. I can be reached at 
redman@seductive.com. 

If you're a minor or it is illegal where you live to 
read erotic literature with frank sexual themes, 
please to not read this work of fiction. 


Halloween: A Wife's Gift
 

When I was a boy it was hard to even think about being 
married, much less married for twenty years. I was 
only a young man when I met Janet, barely nineteen. I 
had gone to a party with a friend on Halloween, but I 
didn't know anyone. It was an older crowd than I was 
used to. My buddy was dating the hostess's younger 
sister, so as soon as we got there, he split on me to 
be with her.

A girl dressed as a pirate asked me to dance. Even 
though we were both masking, there was something about 
her that I found alluring. She was forward enough to 
ask me to dance, but she was shy and allusive too. 

The pretty pirate was Janet and from the moment of 
that dance, we were together. We left the party with 
her sister and her sister's date to get some coffee. 
We talked for hours, learning about each other, shyly 
flirting with one another. She was 23 and fresh out of 
college in her first real job. I had quit school after 
three semesters and was a bookstore manager at the 
mall. It was my first real job too. Even though the 
pay was lousy and the hours were long, I thought I was 
doing something special.

Neither one of those jobs lasted in the long run, but 
our relationship did. On the third night I knew her, 
Janet took me to her apartment. It was mostly empty 
because she spent almost all of her time at her 
parent's house. I remember looking in her refrigerator 
and there was nothing but a carton of orange juice and 
a bottle of honey. That night I willingly lost my 
virginity, but I unintentionally found the love of my 
life, the one woman that I wanted to grow old and gray 
with.

We lived together for a year and a half. We were never 
apart. We married. Four years later we had our only 
child. I was in the delivery room when they induced 
labor. I saw Lisa being born. I held her in my arms 
and she was quite small. It was one of the best days 
of my life - of our young lives.

It wasn't always easy, those twenty years. We went 
through ups and downs, but through everything we had 
each other. We worked. We raised our daughter. We 
lived simple lives that were centered on our mutual 
love and respect.

Shortly after our twentieth anniversary, Janet began 
experiencing discomfort during intercourse. We had 
always had an active sex life. I can't say we were the 
most adventurous couple, but we both most enjoyed 
pleasing the other. We fulfilled each other's physical 
needs as easily as we fulfilled each other's emotional 
and spiritual needs. We had always just seemed to -
fit- together.

Her OB/GYN ran test. After a week or so, they did a 
biopsy. Janet had pre-cancerous uterine cells. In June 
she had minor surgery, scrapping the lining of the 
uterus and removing a few polyps that concerned her 
doctor. They put her on medication. She recovered. 
In September, the symptoms reoccurred. Her doctor told 
Janet that the only alternative was to have a 
hysterectomy. 

We were worried, of course, but it's a common 
procedure. I thought we were happy with just Lisa, but 
in the days before the operation, Janet began to mourn 
all the children she had never borne and now, never 
would. After a while though, we laughed uneasily about 
it together. We were both in our forties. Neither one 
of us had really wanted children that late in life.

I was holding Janet in our kitchen several days before 
her surgery, just silently expressing our love for 
each other. Lisa was in the dining room where we could 
see her, gathering her books for school. She is long 
and willowy like her mother used to be. I never knew 
her mother at sixteen, but at twenty-three she had 
looked a lot like Lisa looked right now. She was tall, 
thin and graceful. Lisa could have been a dancer but 
had chosen to play piano and take voice lessons.

"I think the one we had turned out pretty nice. She 
reminds me of her mother, don't you think?" I asked 
Janet, both of us looking at her daughter.

"I don't remember being that thin and I don't think I 
was ever that beautiful." Janet had gained some weight 
but she was always that beautiful to me. Over the 
years she had gone from a 34B to a 38D as she had 
gained weight and aged, but I had loved her body and 
her breast through all their changes. She was a 
lovely, passionate woman and she was my wife. 

I remember sitting in the waiting room with her 
family. I hate hospitals and was nervous about Janet 
being in surgery, but everything was fine so far. I 
had seen her as they were giving her the initial 
injection to put her under. I had kissed her gently. 
Her last words for me were not to worry. That was 
funny for both of us. Janet was always the worrier.

One moment everything was fine, there in the waiting 
room. Then I felt it. It was like a sudden wave of 
sadness and loss washing through me. The depth and 
abruptness of it overwhelmed me, like a sudden punch 
in the midsection. I knew, without knowing why, that 
something was terribly wrong. As I began running to 
find Janet, the nurse that administered her injection 
was coming toward me. She grabbed my hand and led me 
to a set of surgical doors and told me to wait. The 
doctor had to talk to me.

When he walked out, there was so much blood. At first, 
it reminded me of the day that Lisa was born, but this 
was different. He said something about complications. 
They were still trying. Don't give up hope.

As he walked back through the doors, I slid down the 
wall until I couldn't slide any deeper. The doors to 
surgery swung back and forth three times until they 
stopped. I remember it more clearly than a million 
other more important facts that I have forgotten over 
the years. The doors swung back and forth three times 
before they stopped.

Whatever the doctor thought he was working on, it 
wasn't Janet. Janet was gone. It was as clear and as 
profound a thought as I had ever had. Wherever she 
was, she wasn't here. And a part of my soul went with 
her.

I held together for a while. I arranged the Mass. I 
bought the plot. I spoke to the lawyers that Janet's 
sisters wanted to hire. They said someone had screwed 
up. There would be damages. I got mad for about a 
minute and a half and broke some things. Then the gray 
numbness returned. Nothing that lawyers could do would 
bring Janet back. I told them to do whatever they 
needed to do. They could do anything except ask me to 
care.

I wasn't a very good father just then, I suppose. Lisa 
and I mourned together once. I held her that day and 
for just a moment, I cared about someone else. Her 
hair was a rich black, her dress a deep, royal blue 
and her nose was as red as mine from the tears. But as 
soon as the moment ended, all of the color drained 
from my life again and the gray numbness returned.

Lisa stayed with a friend one night and I drank myself 
into a stupor. But it didn't help.  Neither did the 
sleeping pills. My doctor prescribed anti-depressants 
but somehow it seemed wrong to take them. They 
couldn't fill the emptiness in my soul. 

On October 31, our parish had a Mass in preparation 
for All Saints Day on November 1. The priest had made 
a special point in inviting me. It was a Mass to honor 
all those that had died this year. We had never been 
particularly devout, but Janet had gone to Mass more 
often, especially on holidays. It sounded like 
something she would have gone to. I felt I needed to 
go in her place.

But there was no consolation there. Even when they 
read her name, I didn't feel anything. Janet wasn't 
there. Nothing that the priest said brought her back 
to life for me or filled the emptiness. It was worse 
than being numb. I left, vowing to never go back.

I went home and Lisa was preparing to go to a 
Halloween party. She asked me if it was alright if she 
went. I should have cared I suppose, but I couldn't. I 
sat in our den as the sun set, watching the shadows 
cross the floor as night fell. The sounds of her 
preparation floated through the house: a bath running, 
a hair dryer and an occasional fragment of an aria in 
Italian that she would sing. I heard without 
listening. I sat without thinking.

She came bounding down the stairs on her long legs and 
as soon as she saw me she started fussing that I was 
sitting in the dark. It was too much like something 
her mother would have done. My grief threatened to 
overwhelm me once more, but I pushed it back. My 
daughter didn't need to see it anymore. Not when she 
was finally going out again. I realized I hadn't heard 
her singing since before.

Lisa hugged my neck in the darkness and told me not to 
wait up. I wish I could have given her more. I had 
been such a terrible father lately. But I felt too 
empty to give anything else.

I should show some interest in her life, I thought. At 
least I could fake it, for her mother's sake.

"Will you be late?"

"Not too late, Dad. Mary will drive me home."

"What are you wearing to the party?"

"The only thing I could throw together at the last 
minute. I didn't know if I would feel like going. Turn 
the light on by your chair and tell me if it looks 
OK."

It wasn't an exact match. She had on the same black 
leotards and the same type of black body suit. She had 
made the hat a little different, but the felt eyepatch 
was about the same. 

The pirate that stood before me could have been the 
same one I had met twenty-two years before. If she had 
asked me to dance, it might have been more than I 
could have borne. 

Somehow I choked out that she looked lovely and turned 
the light out as quickly as I could.

As soon as she was gone, that same wave of grief swept 
over me again. More grief than I could abide. I lay on 
our bed and I cursed God. I cursed the whole universe 
that would take away the one person I cared about more 
than anything else in the world. She deserved to live 
more than I did. Why not me, instead?

I had grieved for a month. Tonight, I felt the last 
full measure of grief.

I slept, exhausted. When I awoke, I was naked on the 
bed. One instant I had been overwhelmed by sadness. 
The next, everything changed.

There was dim light coming through the blinds of the 
window. I could see well enough to know that I was 
alone, but I had a sudden sense I was not. The LED 
clock read 11:58.

For the first time in a month, the overwhelming 
emptiness was gone. Even through my stuffy nose, I 
could smell Janet. I had lived with her for more than 
twenty years. I knew her as intimately as any man had 
every known anyone. I couldn't see her, but she was 
here. It didn't make sense, but she was here. The 
emptiness that was in my soul was filled. She was 
here.

The air thickened and swirled. I felt Janet touch me, 
first, lightly on the cheek. I tried to grab her, but 
there was nothing. Then I felt her hands and lips on 
my chest, moving sensuously over my body. When they 
reached my groin, I was instantly erect. All the 
passion of our twenty years together seemed to fill me 
in a moment.

I pleaded to see her - to hold her. There was nothing 
but the gentle swirling air and the fragrance of my 
dead wife in the air.

Then as suddenly as the air had stirred, it stopped. 
Her fragrance lingered, but began to fade. Even so, 
she was still here. I could still feel her.

In the sharp quiet, I heard footsteps. I could hear 
her. Janet was coming. I could feel her presence, 
walking toward me in the darkness. Then I saw her, 
beautiful and naked, walking toward the end of our 
bed.

Janet looked at me with those wonderful eyes that 
always read my soul. I could feel her love and her 
passion for me. She began to crawl on the bed toward 
me, her bottom sticking high into the air as it always 
did.

When Janet reached my waist, her head dipped 
familiarly toward my shaft, engulfing me in a moment. 
She took me deeply in her warm mouth, like she always 
did to tease or reward me for some pleasure I had 
given her. Then she pulled back and her tongue 
lavished the head in recognizable ways, licking the 
surface lovingly. She had done this a thousand times 
and a thousand times it had made me shiver.

But, I had missed her too long for even this delight. 
The next time she engulfed me, I put my hands deep 
into Janet's hair and drew her up toward me. I needed 
to hold her so badly.

I grabbed her fiercely, pulling her toward me and 
holding her as firmly as anyone who has felt so great 
a loss can hold. I tasted her sweet breath and those 
lovely, familiar lips and the tongue that knew my own 
so intimately. Janet always loved to kiss and we 
shared a kiss like I have never shared with any other 
woman except her.

She raised her leg, taking my penis in her hand with 
practiced ease, placing the head at the entrance of 
her sex. She slowly eased herself down on me, smiling 
that same hungry smile she always gave me on first 
penetration. Before she took it entirely, she let me 
reach down and spread her labia gently with my thumbs 
like we both enjoyed so much. Then she set down firmly 
until we fitted together perfectly once more.

We held each other. The warmth of her, the smell of 
her, the feeling of being buried inside her was all I 
needed to feel whole. My heart felt lighter than the 
ceiling could contain and we were suddenly both 
crying. But there was no sadness - except the sadness 
that it had been so long.

We began to move together with the practiced ease of 
long familiar lovers. Each touch was not just the 
sensation of flesh on flesh; it was also the memory of 
every time we had touched just like that before. It 
was twenty years of passion and love. It was twenty 
years of intimacy and pleasure.

We built together, perfectly matched in the need for 
completion and yet with the same strong desire to make 
this moment last forever.  Her hips began to slow from 
exhaustion so I grabbed them and thrust myself into 
her more wildly. When she leaned backward and took 
each nipple between her finger and her thumb, as she 
liked to do, I knew she was very close. Each thrust 
became more precious. Each movement brought us closer 
to an end.

We arched together like two bows straining and 
quivering, vibrating in tandem until the aching arms 
of the archers can bear no more. Then we sprang 
together in release, her warmth flooding over me, my 
warmth spurting into her. We stared wide-eyed, 
overwhelmed by the sensations of mutual ecstasy.

It was my daughter Lisa's body that raised up off of 
me. It was my daughter Lisa's body that lay on my left 
side, nuzzling in to me.

But it was my wife Janet that took my nipple in her 
mouth and suckled it, just as she always did when she 
wanted to be comforted after sex.

And it was Janet that spoke to me with Lisa's sleepy 
voice.

"I can't come back again, Robert. You have to keep on 
going. Lisa needs you now."

"I know Janet, but I've been so lonely. You just don't 
know."

"I know, love. Don't you think I felt it too?"

"I didn't know you could. If I had just had a chance 
to say goodbye. That's all I really wanted."

"It's not goodbye, love. It's never goodbye for you 
and me. I'll always be with you."

I held her for a time in silence, wanting it to last 
forever.

"Thank you for coming back. Thank you for giving me 
this one last chance."

"I wouldn't have missed this for all the world, 
Robert. You're my one true love."

"Janet, what will I do without you?"

"You'll go on. You still have Lisa. She's shared this 
with us willingly Robert and she'll want more. Don't 
deny her."

"I can't do that Janet, she's our daughter!" 

"You better do it, or I'll come back to haunt you!" 
she said chuckling. "It's only for a while and as much 
for her as you. She's promised to another, even though 
she doesn't know it. He's almost as special as you 
are. But only almost."

"Will I be with you again, eventually?"

"You're always with me, my love. But it will be a 
while yet."

"Alright Janet, I'll do what I have to do. But I'll 
never stop loving you."

"I know, love. Now sleep. I have to go."


************

Author's note: I hope no one is offended by the lack 
of story codes. For my own part, I feel as though they 
should be {MF rom}, but some people might well be 
offended by that and want a {Mf inc} code. Such coding 
would not only offend the spirit of the story (pun 
intended), but it would give away what little surprise 
I didn't foreshadow too obviously. I would be 
interested in any feedback on this subject. I can be 
emailed at redman@seductive.com.

Author's Second Note (Temporary): I am interested in 
submitting this story for review for Celeste's 
Halloween edition. So far I haven't been able to 
interest anyone to proof it for me. I would hate to 
release it for the public without another pair of eyes 
looking for mistakes. If anyone would want to help me 
by proofing it before then, I would be willing to put 
a permanent word of thanks with the story in their 
name.