Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 The Desire Within By Ray Dario (C)

   ***

   If you like this story or hate it, I'd love to hear from you at
raydariolw@yahoo.com

   ***

   "Andrea, you know how important this research is." She felt intimidation
flow from her boss like fetid water from a putrid swamp.

   "Yes sir, but what your asking ...  well it's a lot, you know?" Her soft
brown eyes fled from his face with a furtive tick and then fluttered back
to his eyes like a moth to a flame.  Damn he was handsome.  Worse than
that, he knew it.

   "I can assure you it's completely safe." His perfect smile terrified
her. "You would not be one of the test subjects, just a control.  And you
will be able to go home at night, we only need you to show up, take the
sugar pill and let us monitor you six times during the day.  You'll be paid
for your time at your current salary and we'll have someone else take care
of your duties while the study lasts." The blood in her veins ran cold. 
God she hated to see Carl Liptor smile; it was always a bad omen.

   "I thought the study was supposed to be a double blind," she said,
referring to the method of research where neither researcher nor subject
knew if they were given the real dose or a placebo.  She was just buying
time.  Why would he be doing this?  What horror was he tricking her into?

   "That's just what we tell the FDA.  We always know who the real subjects
are.  That way if something goes wrong we can clean it up fast."

   His matter of fact tone about a something as serious as lying to the
government would have surprised her if she hadn't known him as well as she
did.

   "I don't think ..."

   "I see, well maybe your right.  Of course cooperation is not required."
The placid look that spread across his face told her everything he didn't
say, and she realized she was on the verge of losing her job, maybe more.
There had been rumors of employees who refused an assignment and then
disappeared.  Real fear gripped her heart and she reacted without thinking.

   "I was just saying that I don't think it would be so bad.  If I was just
a control." She stammered.

   "Ah, well, good." His lips spread into a smile, or perhaps a sneer. 
"I'll tell Linda you'll report to her in Research Lab Six tomorrow morning
at eight."

   "Yes sir."

   "Thank you Andrea.  Your cooperation is appreciated." Standing up, he
looked back at her.  "Oh, yes.  Like I said, this study is very important.
We are still seeking investors and we don't want our competitors to find
out about it before we are ready, so don't say a word about this to
anyone."

   Giving a nod, she felt her stomach churn, and for a moment she thought
she might regurgitate.  She quickly tucked her shaking hands into her lap
and concentrated on calming herself.  It was several minutes before she
turned back to her computer screen.  Even then she couldn't go back to
work. Instead, she just sat there, staring straight ahead with an intense
dread threatening to overwhelm her.

   Fixing supper that night, she was surprised that her hands still shook.
Over and over she told herself that Carl wouldn't dare to give her the real
drug after he had told her she would received the placebo, but somehow she
just couldn't quite convince herself.

   When her husband, Steve, got home supper was almost ready, but all she
wanted to do was cry into his shoulder.  She couldn't.  If she did, he
would know something was wrong at her work and she didn't want to burden
him with her problems.  Besides he might get upset or make a scene and that
was always so embarrassing.  She sucked her fear down into her belly and
pasted a smile on her face.

   "Supper's almost done, dear." Her voice sounded okay, much better than
she felt.  It didn't even crack when she spoke.

   "How was work?" Steve put his hand around her waist and lightly pecked
her on the cheek.

   "Just fine.  Are you hungry?" Andrea turned her face from her husband,
as she had nearly every time he had touched her for the past year.  But
this was different, wasn't it?  Inside she knew it wasn't.  Yes, she was
worried and frightened about the research project at work, but if it hadn't
been that, then it would have been something else.  There was always
something to blame.

   Steve stepped back from her, his lips drawn into a thin line and one
fist clenching and relaxing at his side.  Nodding curtly, he turned and
retrieved two plates and the silverware from the cabinets.  Once the table
was set, he sat and waited as Andrea carried the food to the table.  He
swallowed his frustration and looked over at her.

   "So, anything interesting happen today?"

   Andrea's eyes widened and then relaxed as she realized that the question
was purely innocent.  "Not really.  I don't feel very well.  Headache."

   For a moment he let his eyes lock with hers then he looked down.  "You
want to just skip supper?"

   "No, I guess I should eat.  Then I'll turn in, get a good night's rest."

   The cold impenetrable silence separated them like a vast, frozen tundra.
How badly she wanted to reach out to him, to confess her feelings for him,
but she couldn't.  Anger welled up inside her, directed inward only.  She
hid it behind the stony mask of her face and, after she finished her last
bite, started to clear the table.

   "I'll get this.  You go on to bed." Steve's soft voice and sad eyes tore
at her heart and stopped her for a moment.  Putting the dishes back down,
she left him there.

   Why couldn't she be a better wife?  He was so kind, and helpful, and
always trying to please her.  All she ever did was reject him.  She didn't
even know why she did it.  It wasn't like she didn't enjoy tenderness, or
love, yet time after time she watched herself turn away from him.  Why? 
Why couldn't women enjoy sex the way men did?

   She slipped into her frumpy nightgown and climbed into bed.  It was only
just after eight and way to early for sleep.  Through the closed bedroom
door she could hear the light clinking of dishes and the soft hush of water
flowing.  Steve's thoughtfulness just exacerbated her guilt and she closed
her eyes tightly, willing herself not to cry.  The faucet shut off and his
muffled footsteps drifted away followed by the soft babble of the
television.

   It would only be another hour or so before he came to bed, slipping
between the covers and sliding over beside her.  He would put his arm
around her and gently kiss the back of her neck.  Pretending to be asleep,
she would lie still until he gave up.  The nightly ritual had become habit.
A habit broken only when he became so frustrated that they fought.  Then
she would give in to him.  Those were the nights she loved.

   She wished he would storm into their bedroom and throw the sheets from
the bed.  Take her roughly in her arms and make love to her.  Yes, if only
he would rip the stodgy nightgown from her body, exposing her breasts and
her sex.  He would throw her on the bed and kiss her lips, long and
passionately.  Then he would take her.

   She felt herself grow wet and her breathing became shallow.  God, how
she wanted him.  She could almost feel his strong thrusts inside her. 
Thighs betrayed her thoughts and moved in a sensuous rhythm as her body's
needs pressed against her minds inhibitions.  A quiver began between her
legs and grew into a flush of desire that spread up her belly to puckered
nipples begging to be touched.  She gave in and pinched one nipple through
the flannel.  The world fell away and her body shook as orgasm rippled
through her.

   She was instantly ashamed.  Horrified at the thought of her husband
discovering her, she rushed to change panties and nightgown, afraid the wet
stain at the crotch or the smell of her sex would give her away.  She
buried the evidence deep in the clothes hamper, determined that she would
do laundry tomorrow to keep Steve from finding it.  How could she be so
wanton, so disgusting, so slutty.  She crawled back into their bed and
buried her face in her pillow.  Tears leaked from her eyes until sleep
eased her self-inflicted suffering.

   Eight in the morning found Andrea sitting in a small chair designed to
facilitate blood pressure readings.  She shared the sterile white room with
twenty other people, all sitting in similar chairs.  Next to her a young
woman with cute freckles under intense green eyes turned and gave her a
nervous smile.

   "I'm Emily.  I'm not really sure about doing this, but I really need the
money."

   "I'm Andrea.  Have they told you what to expect?"

   "Not a peep.  Told me the effects would be pleasant and that it wouldn't
be anything dangerous.  That's all.  That Linda woman said she couldn't
tell me what to expect or it would screw up the research."

   Andrea hesitated just a moment and a flicker of worry passed over her
face.  Should she tell this girl that she was worried, just because her
boss was a sleazeball and had told her not to worry?  "Same here but I'm
still a little scared."

   "It'll be okay." Emily's voice quivered as she spoke.  "I read about
these trials on the internet.  They already know everything that's going to
happen, but they have to prove it to the government.  People have probably
been taking these pills in Europe for ten years."

   Andrea smiled at Emily, watching as the girl unconsciously fumbled her
hands together.  She wished she had some idea of what to expect, but Carl
had not given her any clue either.

   Just then two men in long white lab coats entered the room.  Each of
them had a small plastic rack with numbered vials suspended from small
holes.  Inside each vial, a small white pill jiggled and danced as the men
moved to the center of the room and stood there quietly.  A woman that
Andrea had seen a few times around the building entered through another
door and looked around the room for a few seconds.  Her eyes fastened on
Andrea and she gave a slight smile then let her eyes, and smile, drift
away. After she had looked at every person in the room she stepped forward.

   "My name is Linda Tovelson.  I am the research associate in charge of
this study.  As you know, this is a double blind study.  Each pill is
either the real drug or a placebo.  It has been numbered and the numbers
are recorded.  Each of you will be assigned a number so that the study can
be kept consistent.  Only after the study is completed and all the data
collected will we reveal who was taking the drug."

   She paused and looked around the room.  "Now is the time, if you decide
you don't wish to participate.  Once started on the regimen you should not
drop out until the test is completed.  There could be serious side-effects
if you were taking the drug and suddenly stopped." Her eyes locked on
Andrea and she continued, "also, we want you to immediately report any side
effects you may experience, no matter how slight.  We will keep you here
and monitor you throughout the day, but you are free to go home at night.
You will be given an emergency number to call if you experience any
unpleasant side effects during the night." Linda paused, giving the group
ample time to speak up and then looked over at the two men.

   "Let's get started."

   Letting her eyes drift back over to fix on Andrea, she continued, "today
you will take three pills: one right now, one in two hours, and another at
noon.  We will be monitoring your vital signs every thirty minutes until
five o'clock.  Oh and one more thing.  This research is very important to
our company.  Please do not discuss it with anyone outside this room.  Are
there any questions?"

   Andrea looked around the room.  No one said anything and the two lab
assistants began to distribute the drug.  Silently she prayed that
something would happen and they would skip her.  But the miracle failed to
manifest itself and within a few minutes one of the men held a vial out,
ready to drop the pill into her palm.  Her hands shook slightly as she
reached out and took the pill.  She could still back out.  It would mean
her job, maybe more, but how much would she lose by participation?  She
didn't need the job.  They were wealthy people.  But, how would she explain
to Steve why she was fired.  He'd laugh at her or maybe be angry.  The man
gave her a funny look and waited.  Glancing around the room she realized
all the others had taken the pills and the other lab assistant was already
taking vital signs.  Dread rose inside her but she already knew what she
was going to do.  She closed her eyes and popped the pill into her mouth.

   A sweet taste, perhaps a little like sugar but with a tinge of bitter,
drifted across her tongue.  She doused it with the offered water and
swallowed, feeling the pill slide down her throat even as bile rose from
her stomach.  She gagged and then forced herself to calm down.  It would be
all right.  The sweet taste meant that it was the placebo, didn't it?  But
then what was the bitter?

   The lab assistant took her blood pressure and temperature and wrote them
on her chart.  "Alright, you are free to move around the lab or even go
into the lobby.  Don't eat or drink anything for the next two hours, but
other than that you are pretty much free to do whatever you like."

   Andrea gave him as good a smile as she could manage.  "Can I go get my
email?"

   "Oh that's right, you work here.  Sure, don't leave the building and be
sure to come back in thirty minutes for your checkup." He smiled back at
her and then began to put his equipment up.

   She slipped off to her office and checked her email and phone messages,
just to make sure nothing urgent needed her attention.  Then she returned
to the lab to endure the first regular examination of the test.  Her vital
signs were all normal, and she began to relax.

   That night she fixed Steve's favorite meal, Chicken Adobo and steamed
vegetables.  Perhaps it was an attempt to mitigate her guilt over her
reluctance to tell him about the study at work, she admitted, but she knew
he would appreciate it.  And maybe, just maybe, she would give in to him
tonight.  A sly smile spread across her face and she felt a familiar warmth
between her legs.  If only he doesn't give up too quickly tonight.

   "Hey honey, something smells wonderful!" Steve's voice interrupted her
pleasant musings.

   "It's Chicken Adobo." She almost forgot to pull away from him as his
lips sent a sweet shiver through her neck.

   Steve stepped back and dropped his hands to his sides heavily.  For just
a moment she thought he was going to say something and her stomach
tightened for the confrontation, but then he took a deep breath and turned
away.  With a dejected slump to his shoulders, he slowly began to set the
table.

   Andrea cringed at the hurt she saw in her husband.  Why did she act this
way?  Other wives enjoyed their husband's touch, their kisses, their
affection.  Why couldn't she?  Inside she felt hollow and a hot tear
threatened to swell out of her eye, but there was another feeling too. 
Deep inside her she felt her desire swell.  She wanted Steve to turn and
take her, force his lips to hers and hold her tight until she gave in and
they coupled in sinfully erotic ecstasy.  This time the spark didn't go
out. It had been too long since they had made love.  Like a marionette in a
dream like puppet show she watched herself turn and reach for his arm.

   Just before she touched him a spark jumped from her fingertip to his
arm. They both started and Steve dropped the two plates he was carrying. 
Andrea watched the dishes fall in slow motion, saw them shatter on the
floor, then, slowly, her eyes turned to meet her husband's hard gaze. 
Still the voyeur, not the actor, she took his arm in her hand and stepped
forward as she pulled him to her.  She saw the shock and confusion on his
face as she pressed her lips to his.  The world slipped away and there was
just him and her.  They kissed, softly, lovingly, but full of passion.

   The world sped back up and Andrea found herself no longer floating free,
but an active participant.  She cupped the back of his head in one hand and
forced her tongue deep into his mouth.  His eyes widened but then quickly
shut.  Andrea wrapped her other arm around his neck, lifting her petite
frame toward him and pressing her heaving breasts into his chest.  She felt
her husband's arms envelop her and she melted into him, relishing the feel
of his lips on hers.  She guided him around the shattered porcelain and
into the dining room, pushing him back against the table as her trembling
hands fumbled at the buttons on his shirt.

   She needed him.  Needed to feel his skin against hers, needed to know he
loved her.  Needed to make love to him.  All of her inhibitions were
pressed down, subjugated to her overwhelming desire.  She yanked his shirt
open, popping the last two buttons off, and lowered her mouth to his chest.
Biting and sucking on his nipples, she let her hands slide down his body to
his belt.  Never had she felt so lewd.  Never had she allowed herself to
act so brazen.

   She realized that Steve was moaning, his hands laying softly on her
head, fingers weaving themselves into her supple black hair.  She kissed
her way down his chest.  Freeing his belt, she let it fall open and then
quickly unbuttoned his slacks.  She threw her head back as she slid to her
knees and looked up into his gaping expression.

   Slowly lowering his zipper she let his pants fall to the floor.  The
tenting briefs barely holding his cock in check told her that he felt the
same needs that consumed her.  Hooking her hands in the elastic band, she
forced his underwear down over his hips and was rewarded when his rigid
cock sprang free and bounced in front of her face.

   In all their years of marriage her face had never been so close to his
cock.  She had never considered kissing it or licking it, but now it seemed
natural and she wanted it badly.  She leaned forward and touched her lips
to the purple head.  A single gasp escaped Steve's lips then he held his
breath as if he were afraid than any sound he made might stop her.  She
parted her lips and let her tongue flick out and taste his head.  Salty and
just a little musky but not at all unpleasant, her tongue slid around the
knob, savoring the soft texture and subtle taste of his sex.  Just a drop
of pre-cum leaked out and she sent her tongue to investigate.

   Its taste was new, and wonderful she decided, and she wanted more. 
Lowering her head, she let her tongue slip down the long shaft until it
reached the base.  She licked back up, exploring his cock with her lips as
well as her tongue.  A hissing pant escaped his lips and his stiff cock
throbbed.  She reached the head again and hesitated.  Old fears and
inhibitions swelled inside her but from deeper inside something new rose up
and thrust them aside.  Blind, needful, desire took her and she thrust her
mouth down over Steve's marvelous cock, taking three inches of the glorious
shaft between her lips.  She reached up and gently cradled his balls in her
hands, feeling their weight.  Allowing her tongue to slip and twirl around
the length of his cock, she began to move up and down rhythmically, working
more and more of his glorious tool into her mouth.  Feeling his balls swell
and then convulse in her hand she realized a second too late that he was
cumming.  His seed exploded into her mouth and down her throat and she
recoiled in shock, pulling from his cock.  As his knob left her mouth he
shot another hot stream, splattering it across her face, over her cheek and
into her dark hair.  Another blast jetted out from his cock, this time
spraying onto her lips and chin and then dripping obscenely down onto her
blouse.

   Steve looked down, horror spreading across his face like clouds across a
troubled valley.  "Oh, God, Andrea, I'm sorry, I, I didn't mean to."

   Laughing, she smiled and lewdly licked the cum from her lips.  "Mmm,
salty." She used one finger to scoop up the white jism from her chin and
slipped it into her mouth, savoring the taste.  "Like caviar."

   He stood, slack jawed and unmoving, as she stood up.

   "I'm going to go wash up, will you finish setting the table?" She turned
without waiting for an answer and went to the master bath.

   Feeling more alive than she had in years, she looked at her sluttish
image in the mirror and grinned.  She didn't know how or why, but instead
of feeling bad or dirty, like she always did after sex, she felt whole,
complete, and beautiful.  If only this feeling could last, but she knew it
wouldn't.  The next morning Andrea sat in her chair next to Emily and
waited for the lab assistant to bring the pill.  She felt absolutely
horrible.  Her head ached, her stomach was twisted in knots, and worst of
all she despised herself and the way she'd acted the night before.  How
could she have been so wanton?  Tears welled up in her bloodshot eyes as
she remembered the wild, lusty night of sex.  Steve would surely divorce
her.  How could he want to stay married to a woman who would act like that?
God, she had even given him a blow job and then, later when they were in
bed, she had let him lick her pussy.  Worse yet she had enjoyed it, and,
right in front of him, she'd had an orgasm.  Eternity in hell seemed like a
light sentence for the carnal acts she had willingly committed.

   "Okay, everyone, we will start dispersing the medication now." Linda's
voice shocked her from her dark musings.  "Please take your dosage when my
assistant gives it to you.  After you take your pill I want to interview
each of you about any possible changes or side effects you may have
experienced last night." Linda stood rigid, like a dominatrix, long blonde
hair pulled up into a tight bun on the back of her head and her hands
clasped behind her back.  The long white lab coat she wore was clamped
tightly about her waist by a wide white belt and it exaggerated the
fullness of her breasts.  Andrea wondered why she had never noticed how
attractive Linda was before but then let the idea slip from her mind as the
lab assistant offered her the pill.

   Swallowing it quickly, she was barely able to nod to the assistant
before he walked away.  Depression welled up inside her again and she hung
her head, letting her sorrow wash over her like flood waters over a low
dyke.  How had she gotten into this mess?  How had she let her life get so
screwed up?

   "Wow, I think I'm feeling a little different this morning." Emily's
voice eased Andrea from her troubled thoughts.

   "Different how?" Andrea studied her new friend, noting the flush to her
cheeks.  Emily's pupils were slightly dilated and her breathing was deeper
and rapid.

   "Mmm, not really sure.  Kinda sexy maybe or just a little buzzed."

   Andrea didn't feel anything, but maybe her depression over her night's
escapades had counteracted the drug they were taking.

   "Let's, um, you know, go somewhere.  This room is, like, creepy or
something.  Boss lady won't be ready to interview us for a while anyway."
Emily pulled Andrea from her chair and led her out of the lab and into the
small lounge.

   Two of the other participants were already there, standing very close to
each other and touching each other's arms.  Emily led her to a window,
still gently holding her hand.  The soft touch of Emily's fingers drew
Andrea's attention and held it.  It was so soft, almost erotic, a light
caress of soft skin on her palm.  Andrea couldn't pull away from the girl.
She might think her unfriendly, so she left her hand in Emily's Sapphic
embrace.

   Across the room the two were openly kissing and Andrea's eyes were drawn
to them.  Two people, who had just met, engaged in a passionate embrace,
heedless of the room around them.  Their hands explored each other's body,
touching and being touched.  A voyeuristic fascination and a hint of
disgust settled upon her and she found she could not look away from the two
lovers.

   Emily's other hand touched her shoulder, turning her gently. 
Reluctantly she looked away from the others and down at the young girl
beside her.  Lips parted and eyes glazed with desire, Emily gazed up at her
and let her hand glide from her shoulder down to rest just above Andrea's
breast.  To her amazement and self loathing, Andrea found herself wishing
to be touched, wanting Emily's hand to slide farther down, to touch her
nipple and send shivers of lust through her body.

   Heat flared between her legs and she trembled as she stood, waiting for
Emily's move.  Desperately needing her to touch her like the two lovers
across the room were touching each other.  Andrea lowered her head, just a
little and quivered as Emily stretched upward.  Their lips almost touched,
so close each could feel the hot breath of the other.  Tongues slipped out,
touching each other and quickly withdrew.  The moment stretched out, time
seemed to freeze as they stood there, both needing what was about to
happen, neither confident enough to press forward.

   "Ah, Andrea, there you are." Carl's voice snapped Andrea's head back as
though she'd been hit by sledgehammer.

   She spun away from Emily and stared at the man.  She knew she was
blushing, knew that he must have seen what she had been doing, and felt
utterly ashamed.  How could she have let herself go like that?  Then she
looked around the room and realized that there were now several couples
openly making out.  All were study participants.  Could that be what the
company was doing?  Developing an aphrodisiac?  Impossible.

   Carl stopped in front of her, much too close, and put his hand on her
shoulder.  The smile that covered his face reminded her of a shark about to
feed and she tried to step back but Emily was there, her hands on Andrea's
back, massaging her tenderly and blocking her escape.  She looked up at her
boss.  Damn, he was handsome, in a cruelly ruthless way, and his gaze bore
into her, stripping her of willpower and resolve.  One of Emily's hands
dipped down to the small of her back, rubbing small circles that took it
lower and lower.

   Andrea wanted to reach behind her and snatch the hand away, but she
could not.  She found that she couldn't breath and the heat between her
legs soared to maddening heights.  She had to resist.  It was obvious now
that she had been drugged with a powerful aphrodisiac.  She shuddered and
tried to concentrate but Emily's hands were so very distracting.  Carl
leaned forward to kiss her and she knew she wanted the kiss.  Damn her
soul, she wanted it so badly, wanted to feel his lips pressed against hers,
feel his tongue force it's way into her mouth.  She wanted him to rip her
blouse from her body and take her there in the lounge with everyone
watching.  But how could she?  She was a married woman and she loved her
husband.

   With her last bit of resolve she turned her head and stepped away from
both Emily and Carl.  Sucking in a deep trembling breath, she clenched her
jaw and ran from the lounge.  Carl's deep laugh chased her through the
doors and it's haunting sound rang in her head until she reached her
office.

   Inside she closed the door and pressed her back to it.  What was going
on?  She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and
exhaling slowly.  The tortured beating of her heart rang in her ears but
she barely noticed it over the fire between her legs.  How could she be so
aroused?  She needed relief and the need shamed her.  Steeling herself
against her desire she forced her mind away from erotic encounter in the
lounge.  It had all been a mistake.  Emily, such a sweet girl, hadn't been
seducing her.  Carl intended no sexual harassment.  Over and over she
repeated the litany to herself until she began to feel better.

   For the next ten minutes she busied herself checking email, voice mail,
and performing as many menial tasks associated with her position as
possible.  It was an effective distraction until a light knock came on her
door.

   "Yes."

   "It's Linda, may I talk to you." Her door opened and Linda Tovelson
looked inside without entering.

   Andrea stood up, embarrassed and self-conscious.  "Come on in.  I was
just finishing my email."

   Linda's blue eyes fastened on her.  "You missed the interview.  I came
to see if everything was alright."

   "Yes, sorry, I, I forgot."

   "It's alright.  Would you like to talk here?"

   "Yeah, I guess so."

   "Good, I find it better to interview subjects when they are comfortable.
Are you comfortable?"

   Looking around at her sparse office Andrea nodded.  "Yeah."

   "Good."

   A long pause filled the air between them, billowing up and interposing
itself.  Andrea sat back down in her chair and looked over at Linda,
waiting.  Linda slowly opened a notebook and leafed through it until she
found the page she wanted.  Taking a pen from her coat pocket, Linda looked
up at Andrea and gave her a warm smile.

   "Have you noticed any unusual side effects?  Felt any unusual urges or
desires?"

   It was an aphrodisiac!  Damn Carl and his lecherous mind.  He'd just
wanted to get into her pants!  She hated him, but at the same time, the
image of his rugged face and beautiful white smile filled her brain.  He
wanted her.  The fire started between her legs again and her hands shook as
she looked over at the beautiful woman.

   "Yes, last night I, uh, I mean we, my husband and me, we um made love
and well it got really wild." Andrea looked away and then back up at Linda.
The warm, kindly look on her face broke the dam holding back Andrea's
emotion.  "Oh God, I'm so embarrassed, how could I have acted that way.  I
was so bad, really, really evil, you know, like some two-bit whore." Sobs
wracked her body and she wept into her hands.

   A soft noise and then the tender touch of Linda's arm around her
shoulders told her that Linda was now kneeling beside her.  She let her
head tilt to the side, laying it on Linda's chest and Linda reached up to
gently caress her hair.  Touching her with the tenderness only another
woman could give.

   "Now, now, Andrea, it wasn't so bad was it?  I'm sure that Steve enjoyed
it very much."

   Andrea looked up at Linda.  "You know Steve?"

   For just a second, Linda seemed to pale slightly then she smiled softly.
"It's in your study profile, that your husband's name is Steve.  But he's a
man, so I'm sure he enjoyed it."

   The answer satisfied Andrea and she nodded.  "But men don't marry women
like that, and Steve will divorce me for sure now."

   "Oh, Andrea, sweet girl, you have a lot to learn about men.  Now you're
right, he probably wouldn't want you to act that way with other men, but
with him, that's exactly what he wants.  You know the old saying, an lady
in public but a whore in bed."

   "No, no, Steve isn't like that.  He is such a good man.  God I love him
so much and now because of your stupid study he's going to leave me." A
fresh round of sobs wracked her body.

   Linda waited for Andrea's weeping to subside a little and then she
touched Andrea's chin and turned her face upward.  "Listen to me." The
firmness of her voice quieted Andrea.  "Steve is not going to divorce you
just because you gave him a blow job and then gave him the best sex of your
marriage."

   A wrinkle wormed its way onto Andrea's forehead.  Had she confessed to
giving Steve oral sex?  She didn't think so, but everything was so
confusing, her body ached for relief and her mind was clouded by shame. 
She looked at Linda's face, so beautiful, her high cheekbones and full lips
so inviting, her hair, no longer bound in a tight bun, but flowing around
her head like an angelic halo.  Andrea's nipples hardened and she sucked in
a sharp breath.  She longed to lean forward and kiss those perfect lips,
taste her mouth, touch her soft body.  Without the will to halt herself she
leaned forward, her rapid breath keeping time with her racing heart.

   A soft, warm smile spread across Linda's face just before Andrea felt
the touch of her lips.  Ecstasy and shame battled for supremacy inside her.
Linda's lips parted and her tongue slipped out, gently licking Andrea's
mouth.  Pleasure pushed inhibitions aside and Andrea accepted Linda's
tongue into her mouth, relishing its soft wetness.  The kiss lingered and
hands began to move without thought, touching and caressing soft skin and
enticing curves.  Clothes came off beautiful feminine bodies as the two
women melted together in tender Sapphic love.  Andrea moved from her chair
to join Linda on the floor and their lovemaking continued.  All thought of
stopping had fled from Andrea's mind and she gave in completely to the
desire that fueled the fire inside.  She knew nothing except the lovely
woman she was with.  Her mind thought of nothing except the pleasure she
was receiving and giving.  For the moment it was right, pure, and perfect.

   Slowly the realization of what she had done came back to her.  Andrea
looked over at Linda, still lying on the floor, satiated from their intense
lovemaking.  Loathing, not of Linda, but of herself rose up from her bowels
and threatened to overwhelm her.  How could they do this to her?  They had
taken her piety, her morals from her.  Never again would she be a pure
innocent woman.  How would Steve react to the new her?  Could she even go
back to him, now that she had sullied herself?

   Her eyes flicked up from Linda's bare breasts, where they had been
fixated, to her face.  Linda was watching her carefully, perhaps
clinically, and when she saw Andrea's eyes focus on her face she leaned
forward and brushed her fingers over Andrea's cheeks.  Andrea felt the tear
leave her cheek and realized she had been crying.

   "Was it so bad, my lover?" Linda asked softly.

   "Not bad, but wrong.  Why me?  Why did you have to do this to me?  I'm
not a slut, or I, I wasn't."

   "You have always felt these same feelings, admit it to yourself if not
to me.  Our little pill didn't put new feelings into you.  It just let you
express those you already had."

   Andrea turned from her new lover.  "I love my husband, I never intended
to cheat on him."

   "Talk to him tonight, tell him what happened.  Be honest with him and
maybe you'll be surprised."

   "I'll be surprised if he doesn't kick me out on the spot." Andrea bowed
her head and wept.

   "What's done is done." Linda's voice was soft but firm.  "You never know
he may love you more than you give him credit for."

   Andrea nodded.  She believed that Steve did love her.  Maybe love could
find a way to forgive.

   "Now come on, it is time for the next dosage.  Just two more pills and
the study is through.  Then you can go back to your old life, if you
choose."

   "I don't think so.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but I enjoy sex.  I enjoyed
it with Steve last night and I enjoyed it with you.  I don't think I will
ever forget that."

   Linda smiled.  "I hope you don't and I hope you never stop enjoying it."

   The two women walked back to the lab together, hand in hand.  If anyone
noticed their mussed hair or slightly smeared lipstick, no one said
anything.

   That night when Andrea got home, Steve was already cooking dinner.  The
warm fragrance of boiling pasta filled the house, giving it a wonderful
lived in air.  Andrea made her way to the kitchen and stood watching her
husband as he cooked.  It was rare, but not unheard of, for him to cook for
her and the treat made her feel better.

   "Hi honey." She said, startling him as he stirred the pot.

   He turned and gave her a warm, loving look.  "Hi.  So how was your day?"

   "I'll tell you all about it after supper.  Right now, I'm starved."

   They ate the delicious meal, Steve talking and smiling and Andrea
becoming more and more relaxed and comfortable.  Finally they were done and
Steve started to clear the table.

   "I'll do it later.  I really need to talk to you." Andrea's somber face
stopped Steve from protesting and he sat back down.

   "What's up?"

   "About last night.  How do you feel about it?  I mean about what
happened?"

   "You mean about us having great sex?  I feel very good about it.  How
did you think I would feel?" His eyes locked with hers and she saw a look
of uncertainty sweep across his face.

   "Honestly?  I thought you might hate me." Andrea couldn't bear to look
in his eyes and her gaze dropped to the floor.

   "Hate you.  Baby, you are everything to me.  I love you more than you
will ever know and I will never hate you."

   "What if I were unfaithful?  Would you hate me then." She shook, waiting
for his reply, terrified of what he might say next.

   "Well, I wouldn't be happy about it.  But I would be even less happy
about it if you hid it from me.  If you told me about it and we talked
about it and you still loved me, well, then maybe I could accept it."

   "I made love to Linda Tovelson at work today." She rushed the statement
out, hoping that once she had said it, it would magically disappear.

   Steve's eyebrows rose and his eyes got wide.  "A woman?  You had sex
with another woman at work today?"

   Andrea searched his face for the anger she knew must be there, but found
only surprise and then a hint of love.  She nodded.

   He looked away and then back at her.  "Wow.  In a thousand years, I
wouldn't have expected that."

   "Do you hate me?" She dropped her eyes to the floor again.

   A long silence grew surrounding them like a thick blanket of fog until
his voice softly filtered through her emotional mist.  "No, no I don't hate
you.  In fact I think it's turning me on, just the thought of you kissing
Linda, of her long beautiful hair between your legs.  Yes I'm getting
really turned on babe."

   Andrea's eyes narrowed slightly.  "How did you know Linda had long
hair?"

   Steve looked puzzled for a moment then shrugged.  I guess it's just how
I pictured her." His eyes gleamed like a naughty schoolboy.  "Long black
hair."

   Andrea laughed, relieved.  "She's a blonde."

   "Oh, well I like that picture too."

   "So you're not mad at me?  Not upset?"

   "Well I don't want you to go around having sex with just everyone you
meet, but if you have to have sex without me then I guess a woman is who
I'd want you to do it with."

   "You still haven't answered my question."

   Steve looked at her and grinned.  "No, I'm not mad at you."

   Relief flooded through her soul like sunlight through an open window. 
"And you're not upset with me for the way I acted last night?"

   "Andrea, I love you.  I want to make love to you.  I want to have sex
with you.  And most of all I want you to enjoy it."

   "I did you know.  I enjoyed it a lot.  I know women aren't supposed to
enjoy sex, but I did."

   "Who told you women weren't supposed to enjoy sex?  Of course women are
supposed to enjoy it.  Your parents were more screwed up than I thought."

   "They were pretty anal about some things."

   "So, you want to go to bed now?"

   "It's only eight o'clock."

   "Yeah, I know." Steve grinned and then took her hand and led her into
the bedroom.

   The next day, Steve sat next to Linda in Carl's office.  "Yeah it
worked. She's been a wild cat since the day the study started."

   Linda smiled and opened the folder on her lap.  "Yeah, all of those
taking the drug reported extremely heightened sex drives and near
uncontrollable sexual urges."

   "Hey I'm a believer.  Is there any chance it's a permanent change?  In
Andrea, I mean."

   Linda smiled a small smile.  "Yes, I think in Andrea's case it may be
permanent."

   Steve grinned like a schoolboy.  "Well you've got my investment.  If it
can do for others what it did for my wife, it's a sure fire seller." Steve
handed a large check to Carl and then shook his and Linda's hand before
leaving.

   Linda stayed behind and Carl looked at her.  "Is there something more
Linda?"

   "Just one thing sir.  I didn't think I should say anything in front of
Steve, but Andrea never took our new drug."

   "What?"

   "I just got through matching up patients with dose numbers.  She was
given the placebo."