Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Liggett {g-FM Rape}

   {Ultimately, I'm gonna shuffle all this into a cohesive story, instaed
of a random psuedopathological jumble.  I thought it was complicated just
keeping up with my characters.}

   No Girls Allowed {MMbg, TV, Pedo, Moll, Jerk, Gang, GS, Bukk, Rape.}

   Disclaimer: This story involves, among other things, the sexual abuse of
children, and adolescents.  At least it isn't glorified, I actually lean in
favor of villifying it.  I know it's wrong, so do you, and even most of the
characters at least suspect.
This is a work of fiction, and intended to stay that way.  Any
resemblance to people, places, or other nouns, characters, events, and
inventions, living, dead, or ficticious, as well as gramattical or speling

"errors" are purely intentional.

   And a warning: This is a story for Pathology nerds, written by them. 
While there is some rape, abuse, and other erotic content, we're mostly
writing this as character development, starting in childood.}

   Brad {Mm Mast, Adol}

   Pete was cool, I mean real cool, he even got mom to chill the fuck out.
The last in a string of "fathers" he was more like a Big Brother than even
the ones I met through them.  He said goodnight to Ginny, and didn't tuck
me in, just sat on the end of the bed, and talked to me.

   Like girls, and stuff, mom did't let me have freinds, neither the
freedom to make them, nor any chance of bringing them home without scaring
them off.  Then, he moved us to the North side of town, and I finally got
my own room.



   He found my stash, under the matress when we was moving, and just
smiled. "It's allright, son," he put it in the box on top of my desk, "We
all do it." My sister come in, stuffed her animals in a trashbag, and
stomped out.



   Almost permenantly pouting, her bottom lip seemed to be growing faster
than the top one.  Not happy about the move, losing her freinds, again, she
didn't even know what that ment, having a room to yourself.



   I could barely remember, it was before she was born, and I was, like,
five.  I just moved out of mommas room, seemed like, and she was single,
drinking, working all night.  She got a boyfreind, Uncle Tony, and we moved
to a two bedroom, one bath.



   Nice, then she has Virginia, and he leaves, and it turns into the
"Nurseury." Great, no sleep for months, then putting up with her always
being there, and never having any fucking privacy, and then I got my own
room.



   And Mark brought me his collection the first night.  Old, but Playboys,
naked, Penthouse, girls really showing the snatch, and guys dicks pointed
right atem.  "Have a good night," he patted my hip, and went off to bed.



   Man, I got off like gangbusters, like passed out, and woke up later.  I
let the wood go down, so I could piss, and turned off the light on the way
back to bed.  I couldn't get the pictures out of my head though, so I had
to jack off just to get back to sleep.



   Anyways, it was just a couple magazines, so I got bored withem, I guess.
He brings me more, full penetration, anal so you can see the pussy, and the
penetration.  Man, good stuff when you're an understimulated teenager with
a new libido.



   I was jacking off everday, sometimes two, or three times, especially
when school let out.  Mom quit drinking, lost some weight cause she had a
Man.  By now, she always had a extra lined up by the time she was bored
with the last one.  She just drinks when she's lonely.

   Anyways, Pop walked in on me one night, naked, and over the covers cause
it was so hot.  I had the lights on, and everything, must've forgot to lock
the door.  "Sorry," he grins, and slowly closes the door, "Standard grip,
huh?"



   "What?" I just sat up, crossed my legs.  He looked me in the eye,
"There's lots of ways to do it," smiled, "That's just the most popular."



   "Oh yeah?" I was just hanging out by then, and he just sat down, at his
usual spot.



   "Standard," he held out his hand, a little open, and shook it, the
universal sign for jackoff, "Euro grip," like Dennis Miller said not that
far back, "Polish," he put his hands together, and rubbed them back, and
forth like he was trying to start a fire.



   I laughed, "thanks," I patted him on the back, and he left.  I just went
to sleep, even with the sound of her bed, right on the other side of the
wall.  Couldn't move it either, there's just no solution that doesn't block
the closet, or the bedroom door, damn it.  Still, didn't take long.



   I tried it in the morning shower, got in quick before the wood went
down, or Ginny got up.  Euro grip wasn't that special, and Polish just a
joke, but soaped up, it slipped in my hands instead of pulling the skin,
and I got off real good with nothing to look at, even.



   The water was filling up around my feet, white blobs floating in it. 
The drain was clogged with hair, mostly.  "Yech!" I pulled the clog out,
and threw it in the trash, that was already full of hair.  I mean stuffed,
brown, and wavy like Mom, and Ginny's.  I washed off, and wrapped the towel
around my waist to go back in my room.



   "Ginny?" she turns around in her nighty.  It's like real short, I mean,
boy short, but ragged, and uneven.



   "Like it?" looked like one of her dolls every time she found the
scissors.



   "Mom's gonna kill you," she slammed her door.  I guess it was the
weekend, cause they both got up, and Patrick beat on the door, but it was
locked.  By the time he disabled it with the screwdriver, she was gone, out
the window.



   I showed them the hair, and mom hit the roof.  That's one thing that
wasn't so cool about Patrick, he couldn't handle her, she made him spank
her when she got back, put screws in the window.  I could tell he didn't
want to, but if mom beat her, I was afraid she wouldn't stop.  At least she
was smart enough to come back when she was at work.



   She didn't have to, Patric said, so he spent the extra money on stuff
for us kids.  Like that stereo, and the TV/VCR combo.

   "Jody" {MFmmbg, TS, Pedo.}

   [[i]No Girls Allowed[/i]]

   That's what it says on the tree fort.  It's so cool, even if it does
smell like old pee, makin me hafta sneeze.  2x4s was nailed up on the tree,
like a ladder, and it's fresher upere.  Cigaret butts all over the place,
it's a mess, but boy's mess.  So cool, smokin, an cussin, and fightin, and
climin trees.

   Mama sayed I kent, or boys'll see my panties, so I got pants, old ones
from my brother, an underwears, with a little window in front.  I scrach my
head, an rub my bottom.  Papa spanked me when I cut my hair, but he can't
make me grow it back.

   I clean it up a little, kick out the butts, stack up the magazines in
the corner.  Boys stuff, cars, and guns, and comix, an toys.  On the
bottom, tho, there's girl stuff, catalogs, or peices ovem, underwears, and
bras, Victoria's Secret, my favorite!  There's Playboys too, all the way on
the bottom, but Poppi said I wan't old enough to lookat em.

   Anyways, the boys come back.  "Ow!" the littlest rubbed his arm, and the
oldest grinned, mean.  "Th' fucker you?" he sees me, an i duck down, hide
behind the board on the side.  "What're you doing upere?" He sounds mad, so
i just stay hid.  "Goddamit!" I cover my mouth, hold my breath, an the tree
shakes, swings backn forth like a beanstock.

   "I assed U a question," his head come up, short black spikey hair, a
little point in front, like a arow pointing down at his eyes, I think i
squeeked or somethin, and he grabbed my leg.

   "Letim go," the other big boy said, not loud, or nothin, but just like,
"I wanna clime up."

   He was smiling, but didn't look happy, weird, not funny, scary.  "all,
Right!" I jumped, flinched, and his hand let go.  My foot still hurts where
he grabbed me, squeezing so tight.

   "Yeah," the other big kid looks over the floor at me, "who Are you?"

   I tried to think of a boys name, "Jody?"

   "Aint thata Girl's name?" the first one with the nasty smile.

   "No," I got up on my but, "I usedta know a boy named "Jody."

   "Sounds likeit," his lip curls up, like a smile on one side, "Joodee!"
his voice cracks.

   "Shutthe fuck up," the other boy, with brown hair hits him, right in the
arm, "Frances." what is he crasy?

   "Take that Back!" Frances gets even madder, and balls his fists, but it
looks like hes gonna bite him.

   "I'm Josh," he helps me up, "This is Gary," the youngest comes up, and
Josh messes up his hair, but sides that, it's the same haircut.

   "Ahh!" Frances turns back around from the window, and I cover my mouth.

   "FrAnk!" Josh steps back, "Shake it out first."

   He grins, and shakes it at him, and a drop hits his shoe.  I never seen
one before, just out likeat, tucking back in, and zipping up.  I think I
giggled.

   "Chew lookin at?" he snaps his fingers, and lights a cigaret, flicking
away the match.

   "Nothin," I turn away, don't see it comming.

   "Doncha Ever say that," I rub my cheek, and start crying agin, "Nothin
likeat."

   His fingers is right in my face, smoke making my eyes hurt even more. 
"Sorry!"

   "Better be," he kicks the magazines I stacked up so neatly, "Little
fuckin faggot!" He didn't kick me out tho, not yet, so I set back down
agin.

   They was lookin at the dirty books, and Josh bleu out some smoke.  "You
ever seen one of these before?" Frank is smiling agin, turns the book
around.  The girl's nekkid, I mean nothing.  Not even hair unner her arms,
an tummy.

   "A girl?" I sayed it afore I thot better of my smart mouth.

   "No," He laffs, and taps the paper, "a pussy." She had a tattoo, like a
stripey circle on her belly.

   "Not likeat," I cross my legs, "What's witha Tiger?"

   "Idaknow," his finger rubs the paper, up'n down between her legs, and I
laff a little.  "She's Chynize, or somethin."

   Turnin it back around, she's on the front, with a Lightsaber, and some
weird leather hood thing.  Now, I knowed about sex, my folks never
sheltered us from it much, but Frank was differnt about it.  Everbody I
knowed said it was importint, like maybe the most important thing ever, but
Frances, he didn't give a shit.  It's like it bored him, or somethin.

   "Git out," he sayed, "And don't come back witout some more pornos." He
kicked me in the but, when I started climbin down, and I swear, I almost
falled.  I didn't cry, tho, these were cool kids, big boys, new freinds. 
Better'n the old ones, not girls, and their silly games.

   It wasn't the barbies, I had them, but they're grownups, they don't have
tea parties, and ride to the beach ever day like it's summer all the time,
no week, just weekend.  Even Barbie's gotta work, pay for her pink jeep,
and corvette, and dream house, an the condo in Malibu.  With her face, and
that body, she just don't got to work so hard.

   Ginny

   I change when I git home, Mommy always wants me to be a "little lady",
so I don't fuck it up like she did.  Sorry, I'm not supposed to curse, so I
turn on the TV, and switch around to the channel what tells you whats on. I
don't like the cartoons, because its a weird world, I don't understand it.
I mean, just when I thought I did, it changes, does something differnt, and
surprises me.  I like shows you kin follow, make sense.

   There's a Law&Order on, oh yeah, it's hard to keep tracka what day it is
when it's summer.  There's a buncha them on all nite, but I don't member
this one cause momma come home, and I turnt it off.  She always put on
disney channel since we moved into the house, and we got cable.  I hate
those shows, like I Carly, they're, like cartoons, but with people, an then
I put it on Cops, or somethin when she leaves.

   Anyways, I here the car pull up, and she kissed the guy, and gets out. I
don't know him, but his car has a sign with the pizza place on top.  I
worry about her, she says nota talk to strangers, and all, but with whatall
she does with them, it must be a grownup thing.  Anyways, moving all the
time, how're you supposta get any freinds if you don't talk to nobody?

   I was so hungry, my tummy felt like it was chewing on my spine, but she
had pizza.  She didn't eat it, but sent us to the kitchen while she watched
her stories on the VCR.  Like grownup cartoons, they didn't do impossible
stuff, but the people in them weren't like real people.  I mean, they was
all good, or all bad, not like anybody I know.  Even Frances could be real
funny, when he wasn't mad.

   Anyways, it's the special pizza, with everthing, but all mixed up, even
one of those sardine things with a peice of pepperoni tore up, and kinda
wrapped around it with cheeze.  Brad took his in his room, and oh, yeah. 
This was the first house I lived in, I mean I remember, cause Brad said we
was in a house when I was a baby and we lived with my dad.

   Anyways, I wenta bed cause there was no way I could get the TV now, and
I had a book, which is like the TV, but you got to make the pictures
yourself in your head.  I like it though, cause they can write what
everbody's thinkin.

   I left the door open, but Brad's stays closed.  I guess I fella sleep
whitch's bad cause I like keep reading, but I make it up, then I got to go
back, to the last part I really red, and read what really happens.  It's
kinda funny when it's later in the book, and one of the people comes in,
and I'm like "Isn't she dead?" or something cause I dreamed it.



   I wake up, cause my door is closing, then I here Brad's door open, and
close.  What was I dreaming?  I can't read cause papa'd see the light.  I
can't call him daddy, that one's already been used up, but his real name is
Patric Petersen, but Pape doesn't sound grown up.



   "Papa," it works, I roll over and try to go back to sleep.  After a
while, I hear Brads door agin, and Papa goes down the hall to bed, and I
here mom's bed.  It's not loud, but it goes on, an on.  Yeah, I know what
it is, sorta.  I mean, I seen enough TV shows, and movies to know what
grownups do at night.



   I even knew thet the pizza boy wouldn't be our new daddy now just cause
momma kissed him.  Papa even caught her kissing another guy once, and
didn't leave her.  He married her, and now I was Ginny Petersen too.  We
was all Petersens.



   Anyways, I got up, and peed.  It was after my bed time, but Mama, and
Papa was busy, and they took a while, and Brad wouldn't tell if he got up.
That's another good thing a bout this house, it's got a humongus kitchen,
and a great big fridgerator, and it always had ornge juice in it.  I
yawned, and tooked the rest back to bed, so it would be the first thing I
tasted in the morning.



   I tookt a pee, and a bath in the morning, and waited till the house got
quiet.  Brad stayed in bed, or went out already, so I went into moma, and
papa's room.  It was big, an they had there own bathroom, and a big old
bed, biggern mine and Brads put together.  I'm not sposta "snoop around,"
but momma did all kinda stuff she's not sposta, and that's where my daddys
always hid their dirty pictures.



   Ever guy's got them, ever guy thet ever went out with momma, anyways. 
They all hidem the same, but not papa.  Not under the matress, or around
the bed at all, or in the bedside, even when I pulled the drawers out.  On
mom's side there was just her underwear, and that thing.



   The first time I knew what it was, it was like Franceses, but bigger,
pink with a handle.  It was shaped just like it, but with squiggles all
around it like arteries, but no blood, and they didn't squish likeat.  And
it was, like plastic, my fingers didn't even go all the way round it.



   She also had that compact, but instead of makeup, it was little pills in
a circle with numbers like a clock, only way more, even if you count to
twelve both times.  They're supposed to keep you from gettin pregnint, but
Brad said they don't work, cause mommy always tookem, and she still had me.



   "Ginny!" I droppd it, but the pills didn't fall out, "Put some damn
clothes on!" I pulled the towel close around me, and ran back to my room,
crying.  I put on girl clothes cause he was around, and I didn't have no
pornos to take to the treefort.  They alreddy had all the Victorias Secrets
mom did.



   Pink cotton panties, and a sun dress, it would be cool in the hot muggy
summer.  The little golf socks with the balls hanging in back, like a
stuffed animal, and my Barbie Keds.  Moma always picked out my clothes, and
dressed me up, like I was her Babie doll.  "Wacha doin today?" he never
hung out with me.



   "Dunno," he garbles around some cold pizza, "Yer mwot gonna bug me all
day, areya?"



   He takes a drink, and I giggle.  "You can't have beer."



   "You gonna tell?" his face gets mean, almost like Frances.



   "No?" I run back to my room.  There's no school, but I still got my
bookbag, so I grabbed some stuff, and went out to the park.  I red a while,
and drew some stuff.  "Hey," I closed the book, so he wouldn't see,
"Whatcha writing?"



   A stranger, grownup, looking at me like Frank looked at that Bai Ling
girl.



   "Nothing," I put it back in my bag.  My heart felt like it'd jump right
out, and run off under a bush.



   "Doesn't look like nothin," he smiles, but it's not happy, not funny.



   "I wasn't writing," I correct him, "I was drawing."



   "Oh," he turns, and backs up to the bench, so I skoot all the way over.
"What were you drawing."



   "Just some invention of mine," I pick up my bag, "For cutting weiners
off!" I ran, laffing, the look on his face was great!  I mean, he went from
that creepy, 'my what a short skirt you got there little girl,' {(p)} look
to scared, squeezing his legs together.  {(P)araphrased, mostly H.  C. 
Andersen, ARR}

   Back home, Brad was gone, I even knocked on his door, but if he was
indere, he would've been playing music, or something.  He was growing up,
though, almost a man, getting a little hairy even.  I knew he had pornos,
right in the first place I looked, under his matress.  He had some new
ones, like three of them, still in the plastic.



   I couldn't unwrap them, cause he'd know, but I looked, and it was called
Twink, or the top one was.  The bottom one was backwards, with an add for
some phone number you could call and [Talk to real barely legal boys now!]
Weird, but the way Frank said "Faggot!" I knew he wouldn't likem anyways.



   How'd he even get them?  Brad's not 18, and won't be for, like, almost
five years, and I didn't know he was a fag?  There was also a tape, no
label, so I took it out to the VCR.  More boys, it was called "Chicken
Coop," and it was as bad as mom's stories.  Worse even, but the boys, not
much older then Brad, or Josh, or Frank took they clothes off, and got
hard, and played with theyselfs.



   Anyways, that was just the credits, and this boy come on, and started
taking off his clothes.  He looked older, then Frances even, but he had no
hair on his face, or on his body, or under his arms.  He stretched, and his
back came out on the sides like wings.  He was kind of pretty, with big
Lara Croft{/} lips, pink, like his nipples, which was on the corners of his
chest.{/Aka Angelina Jolie Voight}



   He runned his hands down, crossing his arms, and it looked like he had
boobies, but flat boxy ones.  He had waves on his belly, like ribs, but
they went in with his fingers, and his belly button poked out of a little
wrinkle in the middle.  He undid his jeans, pulled them apart, and I could
see his underwears.



   Some music started, and I peeked through my fingers.  He was dancing,
but it wasn't real good music, no words or nothing, just "Dadunt dunt dunt
dadunt," over an over agin.  He had hair on his belly, a perfect triangle,
cut neat like a mans beard, and his unerwears slipped slowly down in his
hands.



   It hung down, longer, and longer, and I covered my mouth.  I was smiling
like I never done before, like all my teeth, I couldn't close my lips over
them.  It wasn't cause of that, I looked away, up, but he was smiling, and
looking right at me.  It popped out, and bounced in front of him like a
cartoon arrow, and I giggled.



   He pulled on it, in his fist, and I swear, it winked at me.  He turned
around, and I could really see his back, like wings folded behind him,
under his skin.  He bended over so I could see his butt, his thing hanging
down, and a little bag, his ballbag.  His hands grabbed his butt, like
basketballs, and pulled it open, a little fur curling out, but I could see
where his dookey come out, pink, like his lips, but puckered like for a
kiss.  His finger slips down the middle, looks greasy, and I can't watch no
more.  I get up quick to rewind it before he does what I think he's gonna,
but don't make it.



   "Ewwwwe!" I run it back to the start, and run quick to put it back.



   I can't stop giggling thow, it's so funny looking.  All hairy, and
wrinkly, and weird.  Makin sure everthing's right, I take his oldest nudie
books, the ones way in the back so he won't notice.  I close the door, lock
it back with the littlest screwdriver, an go a crost the hall to my room. I
keep the door open so I can hear, and pull his clothes out from under the
bed.



   Old clothes, momma didn't want me wearing pants, and just handed down
the teeshirts.  Now, he's all Metallica, and bands likeat.  She'd never let
me wear one of them.  I got a black one thow, just nothin on it, and jeans
to match, and his old red basketball shoes, like Keds, but they come up
over my foot, and part of my leg, like boots.  There still to big, but I
put a bunch of cardboard in, and wear extra socks.



   "Oh no!" Brad's home, with some freinds, so I climb over my bed, and out
the window to the side yard.  It's real hi, but I done it afore, and I can
just reach my backpack pullin up with my other hand, and hopping a little.
The music starts up in his room, so they're all inside, and I can sneak out
the front.



   It felt great, like a boy, free to do whatever I want, go anyplace, do
anythin.  It felt bad, but I liked it like, Idaknow, Oscar likes living in
a trashcan.  I know, that's baby stuff, but I don't know any grownup thing
likeat, if there was one, mom probly wudn't let me hear about it.



   Anyways, the boys was already up in the tree house.  "Yeah," Two ovem,
anyways, "Little faggit."



   "Whatcha doin?" Gary jumps, always so scared.



   "Just takin a piss," Frances looks out, smiles, and does up is pants.



   "Where's Josh?" and why was Gary crying?



   "Went to git some smokes," Francesses legs came down, and he dropped in
front of me.  "Got somethin for me?" He turned around, big, and held out
his hand.  It looked like it could pick me up by the head.



   "Yeah," he jerked away my backpack, yanked it open, and rifled through
it.

   "Th'fuck's this?" he pulled out my dress, "Penthouse!"



   I jerked my dress back, "My sister's."



   "Ooh!" his hand dove back in, "Panties!" I started to say something,
than remembered how he get when you make him mad.



   "I didn't now what to bring," nobody'd see my undies when I got home,
before I got a chance to change back.



   "This is great!" I shrink back, but he don't hit me, or nothin.  He
patted my back, and smiled, a real smile like he was happy, "Welcome to the
club."



   "What club?" cool!



   "I daknow," he started climbin up, "Franks fuckin fort." he scratched
his head, hadn't really thought about it yet I guess, and climbs up. 
"Wryou lookin at my ass?" he turned around when I got up.



   I looked away, "No."



   "Well don't," I remember how tight his pants got when his leg went up,
"I ain't a fuckin faggot." He pulled his zipper down, and pissed out he
"window." Not really, the wall just came up to the top of his legs, and
there ain't no ceiling.



   "Here," he kicked the pile of magazines at gary, and picked up the
backpack, "Might'swell get some use outa these.  He didn't put it back in
his pants, but held it like a garden hose, not pissing, and pulled open a
High Society.  "You just moved upta playboys."



   He sat back, and gary looked like wanted to cry, but he didn't.  He
picked up the stack of books, and sat down.  "Uh, yeah," I looked up,
"Frances."



   "Frank!" my face hurt where he slapped me, "Dontcha ever call me that!"



   He was sticking out now, rubbing up, and down like the boy in the movie.
It didn't wink when he pulled up, the pink end like moma's thing looked
kinda like a heart, and you could see it all the time, until his fist
tightened over it.



   "Keep yer eyes to yerself," he looked mean, but just lookt back, and
turned the page.



   Gary was lookin at me, and I lookt down.  It was so cute, like a little
thumb, and I finaly got why they called it "jerkin off." Not like Frank, he
beats off, but gary pulled on it with two of his fingers and his thumb.  I
could really see the skin, wrinkling, and rolling, and when he pulled up,
it winked at me.



   "Go ahead," Frank was looking at me, fist pounding at the hair on his
belly like it was doing it on his own.  "What're you waiting for?"



   I shrugged, "I seen all them," I pointed at his stack, and lied, "And
that's all PG-13" at the discards.  He laughs.  "Besides," I try to smile
like him, not funny, "Doesn't this feel a little gay to you?"



   "What?" pissed.  He lets go, and his thing falls, like a dead worm, or
somethin.



   "Nothin," I put my hands up, look down at his privates, all hanging out
in front of everbody, "I'm just not comfterble with it."



   "Whatever," he tugs his belt, droppin back in his pants without even
looking, "It's not like we're touching each other, or looking or nothin."
Gary was looking, but at his face now, and like he wanted to cry again.



   "Don't be such a baby," he looked up at me, cause I got up, tried to say
it like Brad usedta.



   "You're allright," Frank laughed, and put his hand on my shoulder. 
"JOSH!" he yelled, "TH'FUCK AREYA!?" He took like a hour more, said he
hadta pay the homeless guy extra, but threw up the pack of Rustlers.  "Djew
pack these?"



   "Yeah!" he didn't climb up, "Gary, mom says I got to take you home!"



   "Okay!" he practicly jumped down the hole like a bunny.  I climbed down
more carefull, it was getting kinda late, and I didn't know if I wanted to
be alone with Frank yet.  I mean, he's funny, and cool, and all, but it's
like that guy in the park, or some of the ones on SVU.



   Stuff like "Don't talk to strangers" is for little cartoon kids.  They
live in a fantasy world, where guns just give you a black face, and a
coyote can drop a bolder the size of a elafent on his head, and not die.  I
thought there was just a lot of coyotes, dying to get the roadrunner who's
always to fast, and they shouldn't buy ACME products.



   Anyways, I grew outta that shit when I started school, learned to read,
and stopped waiting up for santaclaws, or the easterbunny.  The trick is
being able to tell, what good guy acts like, and what a badguy does.  Like
on SVU, and sometimes Criminal Intent, they all look the same, but watch
there eyes.  A good guy don't stare at a little girl's legs, or even glance
up her skirt.



   Here's some better advice for your kids, don't go anywhere with somebody
you don't trust, or even get left alone with them.  Never take a gift from
somebody you don't know, and if he's a man, don't accept anything, even if
it's justa push on the swing, or help up to the slide.  My mom didn't tell
me any of this, she's got the worst taste in men.



   The thing is, you got to know what they want, to see you naked, or the
things goodguys don't want to see.  They want to touch you, anywhere, but
at some point, they push you on the butt, or pick you up with one hand,
under your butt, fingers between your legs.  How do you think I found out?



   Anyways, I walked acrost the park.  Nobody even noticed, or looked at
me, whitchs great.  The only grownups I saw was moms, maybe one dad, but I
didn't even trust him cause he didn't see me, lookat me, show me what kinda
guy he was.  I changed, and peed, and pult the dress on over my underpants.



   "Whoa!" almost bumpt nta this guy on the way out, "You lost missy?"



   I looked up at the [Men's] sign by the door.



   "Uhuh?" I lookt up, but I guess he was a goodguy, or something, cause he
didn't lookat me funny, or push me in to Rape me like on SVU.  They never
said what Rape was, kinda like sex, I guess, but bad.



   Papa was home early, an damit, Brad got a new TV, with a VCR in it for
his room, and little holes to match the red, white, and yellow plugs to
hook it to his sound system, and I didn't even have a CD player, but he
gave me his old one, when I started crying.  I took it in my room, and put
on some panties, cause I didn't have no CDs, but I didn't have nothin to
playem on before.  It wasn't even his birthday!



   I didn't haveta cry no more, I bet Brad talked to him, cause when I come
out, he took us out for icecream, and to the [CD Swap].  I went right
passed the kids stuff to Pop/Rock, and just looked at the cases, I didn't
really no any bands.  Peter Gabriel - So for "Sledgehammer" with that cool
vidio on VH-2, and Yello - Stella cause it had that "Oh Yeah!" song from
Ferris Beuller.  He woudn't let me get "She Wants Revenge," or all three
but, i put it back cause I didn't know what they sound like, i just liked
the cover, and it was new, so it was like as much as the other two put
together.



   Anyways, we went back home, and momma was passed out on the couch, and I
went to bed, and Papa closed the door, and went in to tuck in Brad.  I
hadta get up and take a dump.  I hate it, it stinks, but I could here them
talkin there, just not what they said cause they was quiet.



   "Poot!" I wiped, and flushed, and when the toylet was done, cept fillin
back up it was quiet in Brad's room, but there was a lite under the door.
Blue, like TV on walls, I closed my door, and went back to bed.  Before I
went to sleep, I heard Brads door open, and close, Papa walking in the
living room, getting on the sofa with mama.

   I just put Stella in, so I could falla sleep.

   Brad

   "I dunno," the new vidio kinda made me uncomfterble.

   "It's okay," Pete's voice was low, and kind of soothing.

   He watched me jack off, like the boys in the movie.  I tried it, all the
different ways they did it, but standard worked for me.

   "Try this," he showed me Euro, crossing his legs, and it felt so good
when he did it.  I got off, not real good, but I already did earlier to
girl porn.  "See?" he let go, and whiped his arm with his hanky.

   "Yeah," his pants was tight when he got up, but he turned around.

   "You might want to try some fingering," he reached for the door, "see if
you like it." Like the boys in the movie, and more than that, some had
dildos, but not shaped like dicks, Most of them were like, I dunno, trailer
hitch nobs, but with cones instead of balls, but one was like a whole bunch
of balls, like a bead chain.

   I didn't, try it, I mean, I just rolled over, and went to sleep while
the tape rewound.

   Virginia

   "Wake up!" I beat on Brads door, "they're gone!"

   "Th' fuck?" he opened it before I hadta get the screwdriver.

   "We got to talk," I handed him the OJ, and looked away.

   "gluk!" he swallows, "What?"

   "Sit down, a minute," he wanders back in, and plops down on the bed. 
"What are you doin in here with Papa ever night" he looks up, and grabs a
pair of pants.

   "Nothin," oh, don't give me that.

   "Bullshit," like Olivia Benson otta say it.

   "Ginny!" he kicks out the other leg, and pulls them over his boxers.  At
least they wernt stickin out in front no more.

   "What does he do?" I look him in the eyes, like momma when she knows yer
lying.

   He stands up, "We jus talk," buttons up.

   "And watch movies?" no wonder he sleep like a vampire now, kept up half
the night.

   "Well last night," his face gets red, but he turns his head away.

   "You remeber 'uncle Mark'?" back when mom didn't have boyfreinds, we had
'uncles.'

   "Yeah," he shugs, "So?"

   "Remember how he useta 'tuck me in' ever night?" he looks at me serious.

   "Did he?.." mad.

   "No," he relaxed a little, "He didn't tuck that in me." Still a virgin,
and not in any hurry, if you ever just watched it, without being turnt on,
cause like, your to young too under stand, it don't really look like all
that much fun.  I hadn't even seen it seen it, just them going through the
motions unner the covers, an the faces, and noises they make, long enough
for an uncomfterbal, [i]ewwe[/i] and going back to bed.

   "He just smoothed down the covers," I said, "And rubbed my tummy, and
tucked the blankets between my legs," his eyes got sad, "told me that's why
it's called 'tucking you in'." but he didn't look away.  "An then" I Looked
back, "He wenta fuck mommy."

   "I swear," he closed is eyes, "It wasn't likeat."

   "No?" I said, "He bot you new underwear first."

   He looked at me, "He said it was cause I was growing up," blinked out a
tear, "said i, 'Need room to grow'."

   "And then," it didn't stop there.

   "He found my pornos, but didn't get mad, got me new ones." He was
startin to cry.

   "Gay ones," twinks, chicken, teens.

   "And he showed me how to jerk off," tears falling like rain, soaking his
closed eyelashes, "all kindsa new ways," he hugged me.  That tape wasn't
new, we had a DVD in the living room, and they got DVDTVs right next to the
VCR ones at the Wall Mart.  "And he showed me how wen I had trouble."

   "Did he make you do it to him?" I stood up, and looked down at him.

   "Last night," he looked down.

   "Yeah," I headed out, "it was 'likeat'." and closed the door behind me.
I swearta god, I'm a natural Profiler, why?  Cause I wasn't even 10 yet.

   "Fuck it," I put on Jody, and just walked out the front.  He was still
in there, but if he was still cryin, it was to quiet to hear.  I took a
book, the one I was reading, and no, I don't remember which one.  I
remember all of them, but not always when I redem, movies, and music too,
but I remembered my first CDs, and stuff.

   Anyways, I kinda snuck up, off the trail, and surenuff, Frank was there
by hiself, so I just waited, and red till the other boys showed up.  I got
behind a tree, and peed real quick, carefull not to scrape my butt on the
bark when I got upta do up my pants.

   They was already updere, laffin, and smokin, but gary doesn't smoke. 
"Gay Gary the Fairy," Frank called him, and laughed at him when he started
crying.  "No'm not,"

   "Such a baby," I climbed up, "Grow up!"

   "Yeah," Frank laughed, "Cry baby, cry!"

   "Aright," Josh got in front of him, "Leave him alone!" We didn't stay up
in the fort all the time, but got down, and played stickball a little in
the park.  Frances was pitchin on ar side, but he kept throwin it away, and
a dog yelped, runt off, tail between his legs.

   He just laghed with that smile on his face, not funny, "That was great!"
and laughed, and laughed.  I assed him why he done thet, an he sayd cause
he cuddent catchem with a stick.  I assed why hurtem at all, an he sayed
cause they's animals, "Shit eating beasts" an they deserved it.  i never
heard of Shadenfreude back then.

   That pretty much ruint the game, so we went and got sodas from the
machines, and went back to the fort, but then I hadta pee, so I went home.
Oh, an they was startin to lookat the magazines I brot yesterday, and jerk
off.

   And that mayed me feel funny, weird like when Uncle Mark tucked me in,
or the perverts hit on me in the park.  Not gay, cause I'm not really a
boy, but just weird.  Anyways, nobody was home, and Brads room was empty,
and a mess.  The OJ was next to his bed, spoilt, so I threw it out, and got
out his pornos.  Just the boys ones, he said he didn't want em anyways.

   I didn't watch the movey agin, but I got out the magazines, the Twinks,
and unwrapped them like the CDs, and red the stories.  They wasn't like
real stories, there was way more pictures then words, which was just like
the boys talkin.  I locked my door, and opened my closet cause mom put a
mirror indere.

   Jody looked back, smiled, and I touched my hair, short, too short to
start waving, or even hang down on my neck.  Mom hadta take me to the
booteek with her, like the first time, and they cut it straight in the back
where I couldn't see it good.  I wasn't as easy as Barbies, cause I could
just turn her around to get the back.

   Anyways, I pulled off my shirt, like the boy in the movie, but he was
all musler, and Jody was still little, skinny, kinda baby fat with a little
hole in his belly.  You can't even see his nipples, cause the's the same
color, not pink.  I look away from the shadows ofem, so tiny, an in the
middles.

   Anyways, I guess I looked down, at him undoing his pants, sliding them
down, the unnerweres with the little window in front.  I stucked my hand in
there, puffed it out so they wern't so loose, tryed to make it look like
the bulge in the pictures, the footballer with his funny strappy kind.

   I touched myself a little, didn't mean to but it was tite indere with my
hand an all.  It mayed me feel funny, not no funny like when uncle mark
tucked me in, or thet perfert guy pushed me on the swings, helping me up to
the slide.  I giggle, it tickled, an I tickled my self some more even tho
everbody knows you kent.  I culd feel it tho.

   "ThumP" outside, I quick put my dress on, and kickt Jodys close in the
closet.  "Ginny?" I looked back at the door, PaPe lookin in, "What're you
doing?" I forgot the lock don't work.

   "Nothin," I pulled my hand out from unner the matress, an made sure he
couldn't see unner my skirt.

   "Let me see," I stood in the way, but he just reached round, so I sat on
it, but he still got his hand unner there, an pulled one out.  His eyes got
big, "Where'd you get this?" like he didnt no.

   "Uh," I looked over at Brads room, door still left open.

   "Were you looking at them?" he stood up, mad, and started undoing his
belt.

   "No," I tried to run around him, but he grabbed me, "Don't fuckin touch
me!" He didn't get his belt off, but swatted my but.  "Nao!" I kict, an
screamed, and fought, but he was too big, an strong.

   "What the?" he pulled up my skirt, saw my underwear.

   "Fuck," I pulled back, "ing," balled my hands together, "PERVERT!" I hit
him, hard, both hands up between his legs where I knowed it really hurt.

   "Uh!" he let go, bent over.  "Uhhn!" sat down on my bed.

   "Touch me again, an I'll tell mom!" I backed up.

   "Wut?" he gasped, culdnt brethe, "I spanked you?"

   "No," I looked right in he face, "I'll tell her you touched me," I
pulled up my skirt, "Down here," and drop it over the underpants, "an Brad,
ever night, before you fuck her."

   "Young la,.." he starts.

   "NO!" he drops back, "No more sayin goodnight," I demanded, "No more gay
porn, no more jerking off with him, an no more spankins or I tell!" I
grabbed the magazine, "an this's Mine now!" He gets out, drives off, probly
on lunch, or somethin.  He works real close, at the Childrens Services
office, where moma met him.

   Gary

   "Huh?!" I felt it!  Like a deep twitch but it din't let go and nothing
stil came out.

   "There" he pulled back the panties, whiped my eyes with them, wadded
them back in my pocket.

   He said it was neat how I had that skin on it, but guess he didn't have
one.  The other boys came back, smoking, and Frances punched me, hard in
the arm, for no reason!  "Little faggot." I wiped my eyes some more, but I
wasn't crying no more.

   "Where you goin?" to Jody climbing down.

   "The bathroom," still climing, "In the park."

   "Honestly" he looked down the hole, "I don't know why you don't never go
here."

   "Seeya later!" he skips off, behind a tree.

   "Fuckim," he sure like the magazines he brot thow.  Set back, stroking
his lap through the jeans.

   Jody never jerked off, in front of us anyways.  Yeah, he put his hand
down his pants but didn't really move it, or grab on anything.  "Chew
lookin at" I grabbed a victoria secret, tried to feel it agin, that twitch
thing, but I culdn't.

   "Ah!" Franks eyes closed, stopped beating, pissing white, jumping out in
his fist.  "What?" he looks at me.

   "Nothing," not that, not mad, but that scary smile, that crewl happiness
he get's when he's hurtin me.  "Want some?"

   "Comeon, Frank," my brother can't even stop him, allways.

   "This what you want?" he holds me down.

   "No!" he's to big and strong.

   "Here ya go you fucking faggot," I hold my mouth shut, "Here's what you
want." His slimey hand, pushing in my cheek, "Eat it, swallow you fucking
fairy!"

   "Mwo!" it's nasty, "Please!"

   "That's right," he get up and lets me wipe my mouth.

   "Josh?" even he's crying a little, "Cen we go home now?"

   "Sure," he scrubs my hair a little.  I cry the whole way.

   Anyway, we go to bed, and I hear Josh's, shakin.  He says he can't sleep
no other way, and I get up to go pee.  I take the panties with me, rub
myself stiff with them, and look in the mirror.

   Not the one over the sink I cen just see the top of my hair in, but the
one on the door, behind the towels if you pull them open like drapes.  Tall
and skinny, I can see all of my self in it, holdin the panties.

   They's wite, but got a little ribbin around the waste, and leg holes,
pink.  I spread them out, flip them around, and hold them up, over my
peener.  It's stiff agin "didja tryem?" so I guess I just put it on, "They
feel great!" Jody sayed.

   I tried to twist around, and hold my arm up like I'm covering my titties
like in victorias secret.  It sticks out, make them tight tho they don't
fit right anyway.  It looks so wrong, like it feels when I lookat Frances
jerking off.  I know he doesn't like it, but I can't keep my eyes away.

   "Yeah, you faggot," but it didn't feel wrong with Jody.  I mean, he
touched me today, and that's when I felt it.  He didn't pull it out tho,
make me touch it, choke on it.  I tried playing with myself like he did,
figure it out.  Hand flat in my panties, the skin rolled back on my palm. I
could feel my ball bag in my fingers, like girl's lips, no hair or nothin!

   And if I move my hand like an inchworm, I can rub it, slip the skin back
and forth on the little head, "Uh!" I felt it again, on my fingers, under
my ball bag.  "Huhuhuhuh!" like Frank says sometimes, and a little drop
come out, slippery, and sticky on my belly.  It was clear tho, it didn't
taste like nothin, but it came outta me!

   Anyway, I went back to bed, wondered what his peeny lookt like.  Like
mine I gesst, but without the skin around the end like Frank's.

   "The fuck?" I wake up, the covers twisted between my legs.  "Are you
wearing those Panties?"

   "Nno" I pull it over my but sticking out.

   "Franks right!" he jerks the cover back, "You're hard arn't you"

   "No," I try to cover it, push it flat on my belly.

   "you Are a gay ass fairy fucking faggot arn't you!" He spanked me like
daddy, and took my panties away, and tookt me off to go tell Frank.

   Jody

   I get there first clean up a little before they show up.  "Hey Jody!" I
jump, "Where's Josh'n'Gary?"



   "I don know," he comes up, and I back up to the wall.



   "We kin start without em," he smiles, the good one.



   "Uh," I look around.  Gary told me, I had to make him, call him a baby
right away for crying, but got it out of him.



   Frank kicks back, slips the bottom one out of my neat stack.  "Comere."



   "I got to go," he grabs my arm at the hole in the floor.



   "It's all right," he pulls me over "I ain't gonna hurt you."



   Yeahbut, "I don't want to," if he put his hands down my pants...



   "It's okay," his soothing voice, "You'll like it."



   "No," his arms get tight when I struggle, "You're hurting me!"



   "Are these panties?" he pulls them out giving me a wedgie.



   "NO!" he pulls me back by them.



   "They are!" he slaps my ass, "Here," takes my hand, pulls it back, "Feel
that?"



   "Please!" I cent stop crying, "Stop."



   "That's what a real man feels like." His breath is hot, nasty in my ear.
"That's right" I try to pull back but he jerks down again, "stroke it, nice
huh?" His other hand is on my ass, rubbing it.  Sliding up my back, pulling
me around.  He lets me let go, grabs my hair.



   "Yeah" he twists my head back.



   "Ah!" I can't help screaming, "Hgl!"



   "yeah," he sighs, "You like it, huh?  Little faggot?"



   Alls I can say is "Cak!" gaggin on it.



   "How's it taste?" I can't even throw up or breathe or nothing.  "Yeah,"
his nuckles hit my chin, over and over, "fuckin ferry, here it cumms!"



   "Wgl!" I pull back but it shoots on my tongue, all over me.  I stop
crying by the time the brothers show up.

   "Get this," josh practicly push's gary up the ladder, "guess what I
cought gary wearing this morning?" He pulls out ginny's panties.



   "I newit!" Frank grabs them, "you are a fucking fairy, eh gary?"



   "No," he looks down away, so He smacks him withem.



   "You like wearing panties, donchew?" I'm crying too knowing what he's
been through.



   "No," he lies some more.



   "Dressing up like a girl, so pretty." Even Josh looks mean now, pissed
off.



   "Nn," crying to hard to stop.



   "Don't gimme that," he grabs his mouth, "Looks like we got a couple
faggots heer." Turning on me, face evil.



   "What?" I deny it.



   "Come on" he laugs "Tell your little boyfreind here how you just sucked
me off."



   "Hey, frank" even josh is getting a little uncomfterble.



   "ShutTheFuckUp!" he shrinks back.  "You liked it didn't you?"



   "Nno," I wipe my eyes, try to look tough, "You made me."



   "I make you wear this!?" hes to fast, grabbin my pants, jerking them
out, but they don't rip.



   "No!" I try to get away again.



   "CORSE NOT!" he slaps me, "CAUSE YOUR THE FUCKIN FAGGOT!"

   Brad

   "And many more!" she looked up at 'Papa' then back down to blow out the
candles.  I set em up in a triangle, cause they fit best on the cake that
way, four on a side, and they were pink.  Mom bought them, and made the
cake.



   She was happy, hadn't had more than a glass of wine with dinner in
months.  Doesn't hit the bottle when she gets enough of what she's really
hooked on.  He kept dutifully working away, almost ever night, so she
wasn't shopping for the next one, that I knew.



   "Whhhhhhhhhhhhh!" But this was her night, the subtle message blown out
in one breath, like the pink triangle at the bottom of that guy's back. 
Most of them were gay, I didn't really have a problem with it.



   The way 'Pop' explained it, it doesn't matter, what they think about. 
It was mostly technique.  They all did it different, just by theyselfs, all
of them stickin somethin up there but.  I didn't even lookat that part.  He
stopped comming in, though, 'helping' me play with myself, maybe she was
wrong about him?



   She smiles up again.  And I don't mean the fake one she has, teeth tight
so the top of her head doesn't fall off.  "Little Mrs.  Packman" {(C)
Atari?} she really does have a Big mouth, but knows how to keep it shut.

   She opened the big one first, from 'Pop'.  A TV/DVD combo, she could, of
course, play her new CDs on it.  I'd gone in her room, seen what else she
had, the movies, "Little Britches," almost childporn.  I couldn't make it
through the first one, though she had tatts, and peircings.  I guess it was
allright for her, anyways, cause she didn't have none either.

   Anyway, she also had my old underwear, some of them stuffed way back in
the closet, all bloody.  She didn't even tell mom she was bleeding yet, I
hoped that was all.  I really worried about her, she was starting to scare
me a little.  I used to love her smile, back when it was cute, like when we
were kids, and she'd cry, or scream so I'd come running, tripping over the
line, or spilling the bucket on top of the door.  She couldn't've been that
young, right?

   Virginia

   Yeah, Childrens Services.  I giggled, wondered what kind of Special
services he gives.  Done with the boys for the day, I loaded up my
backpack, and followed him.  I mean, I cut throuh the naborhood, and crost
the street to his office anyways.  They said he was busy, but I could wait
for him in his office.



   His puter was on, or it come on wen I moved the mouse.  Boring stuff,
like schools'.  Tables, and numbers and stuff, but they showed us how to
usem in class.  I pushed the windows buton with that flag on it, and up,
up, up on the arrows to [Search]>[...for files, and folders], check [Music,
Pictures, and Vidio] an nexta [Include hidden files, and folders], and
giggled when the little dog jumped up, and run off to fetch the files, and
a bunch of them started pilein up in the Window.



   I knew popa had some somewhere, hadta, but nowhere in the house.  I
mean, the stuff he gave Brad was some of it, but the Penthous' was new, an
not what He wanned to see.  He hadta have that, somethin so shamefull he
couldn't keep it in the house, anywhere or I'd find it, or in his car
somewhere?  The search stopped, [done] down in the Status Bar.



   I kicked my feet, and clicked on some, but he had it messed up so it
just showed thet it was a picture, or a clip, or somethin, and I hadta
click [u]H[/u]elp to see the little pictures.  [PgDn] normal stuff, the
little logos for files, and the trashcan first, then others, backgrounds,
an then at the bottom, "hidden files." They was fuzzy, no names, but a
buncha letters, an numbers.gif, or dot Jpeg.  Not showing the pictures
still, but when I clicked on one, it popped up in a new window.



   I covert my mouth, it was a boy, but a little one.  Littler then me
even, looked like, his little peener wasn't stiff, but didn't hang, just
kinda set on his little ball bag.



   [->], another one, or the same boy, I couldn't tell cause his head was
stickin out the top of the picture, but he looked the same, cept he was
stiff, sticking straight out, little head hanging out like a pinecone.  I
culdn't see his but, tho he was kinda sideways cause there was this big
hand in dere, over it so I couldnt see.



   [->], i'm pretty sure theys all the same boy cause it's like a comic,
all the pictures tell the story.  Anyways, the man must've got down on his
knees, or put him up, or somethin cause his dick was indere, sticking out
over the little peener, I guess to show how much bigger was his.  The
little boy's hand was up, holding it up, but couldn't get the fingers all
the way round, it looked thick's his rist.



   "Click," the door swung open, and a secretary lady peeked in.  "Oh,
sorry." she held up a real folder, "You no where mister Petersen went?"



   "Uh uh," I smiled sweetly, "What's this?"



   So anyways, he's not my daddy no more, he don't work there, and for a
while, he was workin in prison.  Child Pornography, if'n he had any other
victims, they never found them.  I waved to him, smiling like frank when
they drove him off.  Not funny, like evebody gets, but in a nother way, the
kinda joke only you get.



   Me an Brad kept the secret tho, didn't talk about it never agin, but I
got his boy pictures, and the tape, and he just gave me the little TV.  I
kinda traded for the DVD, but I didn't know I couldn't get one of them tape
thingys to plug in my CD player.



   I played with myself more, but I didn't know how, really.  I couldn't
stick stuff indere, like the girls in the magazines, cause mom started
checkin me.  Not sexual, but she touched me, pulled me apart, and looked to
see if I was still "pure and innocent."

   "Little slut!" thats the first time she spanked me, "Fucking whore!"
since I was little, and daddy made her stop, "What did you do?  Who were
you with?" I squirmed away, tried to fight, but she stopped smacking me,
and made a fist, "I'll teach you!" she hit me hard, so hard till I blacked
out.

   "Moe" {fM Moll, TV, Trans, Rape, Mens(e)}

   "Hiya!" I jumped, looked over, and closed the stall door.



   "Hello," he zips up, and turns away from the urinal.  His smile
dissapears on either side of his face, thin lips, the same pale offwhite as
his face, "Moe."



   "My name's n," I start.



   "I'll just call you that," He turns, doesn't even wash his hands.



   "Do I know you?" I tried to place his face.  A younger brother, perhaps?



   "No," he giggles, "But I know you." swinging his arms.



   "Where from?" longish hair, bangs, just off his shoulders.



   "I knew your son," his teeth come out, but that just makes his smile
creepier.



   "Frank?" I shrugged, step son.

   "Yeah," he shifts his bookbag back over his shoulder, though school
hadn't started yet.  "Frances."



   Then he puts his hat on.  Then, I recognised him, I'd seen him, little
Frank brought him over one afternoon.  "Jody?"



   "You can call me Vic," he held out his hand.  Not as small as I
suspected, she gripped real tight, kept walking, and didn't let go. 
"Mister Lester."



   People were staring, but he just smiled, like nothing was wrong.  That's
not my name either, but now it's a not so suttle accuzation.  "What did he
Tell you?"



   "Nothin!" bright, happy, unnerving.  "Didint need to."



   "What do you mean?" I wondered.



   "I mean," he led me off to the trail, "It's pretty obvious what you
did."



   "How old are you?" he stopped pulling my hand, and I wanted to jerk it
away.



   "Eleven," he smiles, or his big mouth does.



   "What do you want?" he just pulls me off again, "Where are you taking
me?"



   "It'sa suprise!" he's practicly skipping, and I smell charred wet wood.
There was a fire, and it took me a moment to realise where we were.



   "It burned down?" I built that fort, for Frances when he was younger.

   "No," he turned, smiling, all teeth, his little eyebrows were down, nose
wrincled, "I burnt it down."



   "Why?" I wasn't attached to it, but it seemed so senseless.



   "Because your son is a sexually sadistic sociopath," his face didn't
change, teeth not even moving, like a puppetteer.  Then they come open, the
tip of his tongue comes out, and touches his lip, almost cute again.



   "What?" I looked around, "Did he touch you?"



   "Why," his face went down, looking, right at my crotch, "Did you 'touch'
him?"



   "I didn't," step back, get away, "No, he's lying."

   "No," he follows, slowly like a little nitemare, "He didn't say
anything, remember?" I turn to run, "Run, and I Tell." freeze.



   "No," don't look at him, "Please don't."



   "Don't scream, neither," he touches me, my back, and I jump.  Dagging me
back, I want to run, scream, why is he doing this to me?  But he could get
me fired, arrested, registered, ruin my life, and knew it.

   "Vic"

   It came on AMC, and I ain't seen it since the first time we had HBO. 
The cable box was off, now thet "Pape" was gone, but I just unscrewed the
cable, and screwed it back in the back of the TV.  Way back, the 80s even,
I couldn't even remember the apartment, which Dad we had, or were moma was
working.

   "Victor, Victoria" I didn't remember it too well, like I was watching it
again the first time.  A woman, pretending to be a man, pretending to be a
woman, hilarious.  I kind of wonder if that's what messt me up, in my head?



   Anyways, I got ideas, and since I wasn't hangin out with the boys no
more, and reading lots of psychology books, I thought I'd try it out.  It
was all on accounta Brad, and dad, and Frances, and his dad.



   We went over to his house, and I only had one profile back then, but he
fit it.  He checked me out, my ass, and was a little too touchy feely with
his son.  Step-son that is, they had photos up, him with his Mom, and then
his real dad, arm always around him, smiling, for real.

   I never met his mom, she 'worked' nights, as a 'dancer'.  Yeah, right,
the one dance hall I can't go in town, 'cause I'm still not old enough. 
The one where they dance for you, not with you, for money, like Serendipidy
in Dogma {(c) Kevin Smith}



   One bedroom, one bed, sure there's a couch, but didn't look like anybody
was sleeping on it.  Said I could stop by, "any time", even all by myself.
Yup, just like "Popa", a MoLester.  I almost had a new profile, this one
for frances.  Child abuse, mollestation, and worse.  I don't know how bad,
I never seen his asshole, if it was like the boys' in the "Chicken Coop."

   And then momma went to work ever night, just the boys at home.  He
didn't have to sleep on the couch, in the living room, he could come to bed
with Dad.  His step-father, like Papa, he married her for what she had, a
little boy.  Never had a kid with her, probably couldn't even get it up.



   Flip a coin long enough, and eventually it'll come up heads, over, and
over.  {Yes, she even read "Rosencranz, and Guildenstern are Dead"} Mom
went through men like tampons, chances are she'd come up with one like
that.



   Even after I stopped hanging out at the treehouse, packed Jody away in
the back of my Closet, I saw him, hanging out in the park.  Sitting on the
park bench, taking time the only way he knows.  {Jethro Tull}



   He never looked at me agin, cause I was wearing dresses now, growing my
hair back out, but he kept watching the little boy's room.  And the little
boys, young ones now that Frances was to old for him.  He spent a lot of
time in there, sometimes boys left before him, crying.



   "Hey little girl," I closed my book, looked up.  Wrong one, looking at
the Red Dragon on the cover, eyes going wide.  The sun shown down, in my
hair, and the sundress.  {(tm)William Blake}



   I giggled, and went home.  My new Favorite, I remember what I was
reading cause it kinda hadta do with what I was writing.  "Frances,"
Dollarhyde, "Filthy little Beast!" bettern Lechter, even.  "You want me to
cut it off?" I wondered if My frances wet the bed?



   The DSM IV Starling read said sociopaths do that, and torture animals
when theys kids.  I only read Silence of the Lambs once, but I don't know
how many times this was.  I never even had a favorite book before.{(c)
Thomas Harris, ARR.  Too many to note individually.}



   I got Jody back out, went to the restroom, but what if somebody came in?
No matter, he followed my little ass like a puppydog, long after he knew I
was onto him.  I showed him whos boss right off, dragged him off to the
Ruin.  Oh, right, starting fires is the third sign of ASPD.  Helpless, he
couldn't even kick, and scream or somebody'd notice.  Then I took him
farther back, where nobody goes but squirrels, and cats, there ain't even a
trail there.



   "Wwh?" I pushed him back to a tree, "What d'you want?"



   "Tell me what you did?" I looked down on him, and got out my backpack.



   "Nothing, I" he started crying, a 'grown man'!

   "Liar!" he fliched, closed his eyes.



   "Ii," he blubbered, "I just played with him," tears pooring down, "he's
my son."



   "No he's not," Frances always made a point that he was his Step-dad.



   "Okay, okay," he looked up, eyes open.  "Wh?"



   "Shutdup," I'd dropped my britches, wearing just my teeshirt, panties,
and training bra.  I don't really need it, yet, my nipples are kinda puffy,
and real sensitive, but I didn't have nothin else.  I hatedem, they was
pink.



   "I married his mother," he didn't even look, so I pulled out the jeans,
and teeshirt.



   "Why?" same reason as PaPe, she had a cute son.



   "I don't know," he blubbered, snot dripping down his nose.  {More
Aqualung}



   "Frances," I bent down, outta my pants.



   "No!" he turned away.



   "D'jou wait till you were married before you touched him?" I sank to my
knees, "kissed his privates?"



   "Stop," the shirt come over my head, "Please stop." and I fixed my hat.
"You're?" he blinked.



   "Mr.  Smythe," he smiled, dissociating, or having some kinda psychic
break.



   He shrank back, but my tongue was on my lip, and I touched his leg.  "I
seen you lookin at me," he closed his eyes.



   "No," another tear squeezed out.



   "Doncha like me?" I slid my hands up, whispered, "Mr.  Smythe, Doncha
want me?"



   "Ppleash," spittle sprayed from his lip, "Please don't."



   "Yeah," I could feel it, "You like it.  Faggot!" he groaned, tryed to
pull back.



   "Stop!" but I had too gooda grip, "It hurts!"



   "Where have I heard that before?" my other hand in there, I pulled his
zipper down.  "Oh yeah, Frances," I remembered, "I used to say that to
Frances, did he ever say it to you?"



   "Nno," his jaw shivered, "I never hurt him."



   "Then why did he start mollesting gary an me?" I wondered, reaching in,
"Make us touch it," pulling him out, hmm, uncircumcized!  "Kiss it!" I was
yelling now, "Suck it!  Shove it down our throats!?"



   And I did, opened my mouth, his eyes wide, leaning back, trying to get
away.  "Uh god."



   I pulled the skin back, sticking it out in my fist, and kissed it.  "oh,
Jody." His hand came up my arm, in my hair, knocked off my hat.  "AhHhHhH!"
I smiled, locked his eyes with mine, wide with fear, and pain.



   [i]That's right,[/i] I couldn't talk with my mouth full, [i]you filthy
fucking beast.[/i] "Let go, ahgod it Hurts!" [i]yeah, hhhrts[/i]{The
Kurghan} Learn something new ever day, like how tough skin is.  I couldn't
even bite it off, the whole head, and spit it in his fuckin face.



   "Ptoo!" I got some blood though, felt it churning in me, but squeezed my
legs so it wouldn't come out.  "That's whatchew get for being a perv!"
{Tank girl.} I guess he kinda looked like Iggy Pop.



   "This whatcha want?" a little dribbled out, "Faggot?"



   "Nno," he turned away, then looked down, at me, sinking into his lap,
pinning his soft bleeding peener to his tummy.  They go wide, and I relax,
let go.  Not piss, or shit, but somewhere in between, soaking red, gritty,
filthy, [i]Mahrime'[/i] {Romani, she's pretty well read by this point.}



   "Ugh," he gags, "GlglK!"



   ewwe, "Hot dogs?" I giggle, "You really should chew more."

   "Frank" {Mm NS}



   "Let's see what you got inere," I jerk them down, "Whatchew been hidin."



   "Please no." his panties come down, and he curls into a little ball.



   "Well," real close, hand sliding on his butt, "Looks like you're just a
pussy after all." It all made sense, why "he" never hadta piss, or whipped
it out in front of us, just stuck her hand downer pants "And now you gita
find out what it's for."



   Pussy, my first one.  I never knew it was here the whole time, never
stuck my hands down her pants because of what I expected to feel indere. 
Nothing like this, so soft, and smooth, so tight around my fingers, the pop
when I forced them in.  She screams, "Virgin!" crys like a baby, like he
always said, "Not no more." Dry, but I feel a little drop roll down my
nuckles.  Red, I twist around, work it in real good.



   "Frank!" josh finely yells over her screams.



   "Shut the fuck up!" I yell over my shoulder, then grab gary.  "See,
faggot?" I almost rub his face in it, pulling out to get my hardon good and
slick with blood.



   "No," he doesn't even open his eyes, "Jody NO!"



   "Yeah, Jody." I stick it to her, slip around till I feel her bleeding
hole.  "Hears the dick you always wanted."



   "NoaAhH!!!" more screams, I can feel it, shaking with her sobs, pulling
back to punch back in with my dick, smearing her blood on her face.



   "You better be hard," uhn, "Faggot." uh, "Pull it out," uh yeah, "Show
your little girlfreind how straight you are!" Uhuhuhuhn!  She squeels with
the last thrust, all the way in to the bottom, balls twitching, pumping her
full of spunk.



   "Yeah," I stand up, catch my breath.  "Your turn," I clap josh on the
back.



   "I don't," he tries to back up.



   "Go ahead," I wipe my fingers on his back, "You got her blood on you,
might as well if she's already gonna say you did it."



   "No," she looks up, piss yella eyes full of tears.



   "Lying bitch," yeah, Josh.  Just needed a little encouragement.



   "Josh, please." she can't look, covers her face, tries to cross her
legs.



   "You!" gary, "Keep jerking or everbody'll no what a faggot you are."
He's cryin almost as hard as she is, little pussy.  "Your brother's a man,"
his ass jumping up, and down on her, "You want him to think you're a
fucking fairy?  Gary?"



   I trows her right outa My fort.  I mean it, I just kicked her over to
the trap door, and she just falls.  "Ahh!" the piss flys out in slow
motion. Breaking into drops, spattering me all over her so she has to crawl
away, gasping, and sobbing.  Droppin them back in, the boys are looking
away, fixing up ther pants.



   "Frances!" goddam it!  I tuck it all away, quick before he comes in.



   "Dad!" the door swings open, "Call me, Fruck!" my face burned, he never
just offen slapped me likeat.  "The fuck?" I jumped back, "Happened to
you?"



   "Your little girlfreind," he was bloody all over, "Jody." smelt like
puke.



   "You killed him?" good riddance.



   This time, his fist came down, driving my head into the pillow.  "PT!"
my head burst in pain, hissed like a TV, but I got my arms over it. 
"Fucking faggot," my arms started hurting from the beating, "He's a fucking
girl!" PT "You." PT "Fuck." PT "Ing." PT "Raped" PT "Her" PT "DIDNTCHEW!"



   He finally stopped, and now I was bloody, crying, curled up to protect
my head, and body.  My arms, and legs already swelling with bruises. 
"Fucking faggot." he slammed the door, an I just cryed.  To think, I used
to hate it when he just spanked me.

   Catching Up {fB Rape}

   "HeyGary!" I jumped, and whirled, at the tap on my shoulder, kept
turning at the footsteps behind me.

   I ducked, for the swat to my head, or thump on the ear, "NnhH?"

   "Freshman now," she stopped, her skirt swinging around her legs, "Eh,
Gary?"

   "Do I?" look up at her face, "Know?"

   "Shure!" she grins, and pushes my shoulder, "Jodi?" Duh face, eyes wide,
grinning.

   "Uh," I looked down, "Oh yeah," remembered.

   "Owh!" she pulled up my chin with her fingers, "It's okay," she changed
a lot, weren't dressing like a boy no more, and her top was tight.  She
hugged me, "It wasn't your fault," her voice buzzed on my ear, and she held
my cheek in her hand.  It was weird, soft on my neck, but hard, and
calloused on my cheek.  "Come on," she pulled me back, "School's over, and
we got, catching up to do."

   "Okay," I let her pull me, and followed out the doors by the gym, and
auditorium lobby.  Trees, shaking in the breese, and the back lot, "You got
a car?"

   "Nho!" she laughed, "I wish, but come on, over here there's, privacy."
Weaving between the cars, I jumped up to look over a roof, "This way."

   "Okay!" I wasn't used to this, "Ah!" She was waiting, by the trees, and
slope down to the soccer feilds.  "Wh?" the world spun, and we were
rolling, bouncing down, and I think I screamed until she put her hand over
my mouth.

   "ShHhHhH!" she grinned, "You want them to see you," her other hand slid
down my leg, "Like this?" pulled it up.

   "Mno?" I blinked.

   "Hh," she grinned, down, and her hand slipped up my leg.  "Miss me?" She
has, dark yellow eyes, I don't know, dirty blonde, burnt golden?  It really
depends on the light how dark they get, but squinting down at me, they
seemed to go brown.

   "NhnH!" she gripped tight, rolled them around in her thin strong
fingers.

   "Miss Me?"

   "UHM?" I nodded.  She pulled her fingers back, one by one, and replaced
them with her smiling lips.  "Hhmn!" she bit my bottom one, pulled it down,
and shoved her tongue in my mouth when it came open.  "mnH?" Her thumb
rolled on my pants, lining up the hardness, and petting it with the
fabrics. "Uhn?" she bit my tongue, for daring to go in her mouth.

   Okay, I kind of always imagined pretty much this, just never expected it
to happen outside of fantasy.  Twisting over me, she reached back, under
her flipped up skirt.

   Liggett {fB Rape Exhb Frot}

   Finally, was he held back?  Small neighborhood, one jr high, I'm only a
year older.  Hadn't changed much, a pussy, pathetic, a victim.  Just
happened to be just what I needed.  His brother ignored me, guiltily denied
my existance, and I let him.

   Gary never looked up enough to notice.  Blinders on, he zombied around,
so I didn't stalk him long.  Let the day play out, and pounced when he was
close to the outside.  Blahblah, stall to let the tide of freedom to go
down, and go through the various scenarios in my head.

   Oh yeah, poor baby looked like he wanted to cry.  Downright shocked
looks on their faces, the kids, guys, jealousy from both sexes.  No, the
girls are jealous of Me, wished they looked like this, guys just want it.
But now I get what I want, my victim.

   Good and empty, no lockers down this hall, no kids hanging out, faculty
already made their escape, or catching up as fast as they can.  Wow, two
years, a long time to plan.  Definitely a skirt.  Not my usual thing, but
that just made it more exiting.  The near exposure, like the faculty lot.

   Any kid with a car ain't cutting through to the soccer feilds, and the
walkers are practicly running to get past it, and to the park.  In the
shade, the trees cover us from the feild, and the Earth from above. 
Leaves, and needles mostly tracked down the slope, the trick was getting
him upright to pin him.

   Yeah, right here, a little banged up, but blood pounding through me. 
Caught up, I couldn't wait to feel it, squeezed it hard, and ravished him
to stay horny.  Like a rabbit, but it didn't struggle, just held it's paws
up, eyes closed, trembled under me.

   All lined up, I let my thighs relax, twist back to pull my panties
tight. Chrimson silk, no lining, I'm sure it stains, and is a bitch to
clean, but it doesn't show, and feels so good.  I let go of my skirt, flip
my knuckles out, rest my fingertips on his collar bones.  "Smuit, Miss me?"
I had to ask again, but he didn't speak, just nodded fearfully.

   Yeah, me too, perfect, prey.  I slipped my fingertips up, pulled the
skin under his chin with my nails, hairless, his mouth came open.  I lapped
up the inside of his teeth, felt the crack between the front two, his pulse
under my fingertips.  Rubbing hard on him, his pants, the wide strip of wet
smooth fabric.  "NhnH!" So hard, pressing in, can he feel it?  Same dopey
look on his face, eyes closed.

   Drag it, down, and recover from the shudder.  I made a sound, they don't
make letters for.  He opens his eyes, and I lock down.  Crushing, my
fingers, and thumbs grip his arms, sinking my nails into his shirt, and he
squirms, winces in pain.  No, the wet twitch, against me.  squeezing my
bone almost against his, held back by a crushed chunk of flesh.  "MNH!" it
hurts, and I wait for it to stop.

   "Unh!" it practicly pops, falling flat, and wetting the top of his
pants. I look up, harden my face until I can see the corners of my
eyebrows. "Look what you did," even my nose, nostrils in my crossed eyes,
pulled tight into slits.  "Filthy little beast!"

   "NhH?" hands up, I jerk them down, away from his face.

   "Look at me!" Down at him, full Face, can't even see with "Rage."
Actually all according to plan, we're fully clothed here, just making out,
or playing if anybody walks to the edge of the hill, and looks down.  No,
it's just a great excuse to emasculate him, can't get hard, dirty warm
wetness, regress him to childhood.  "Useless pussy!" I rose up, just stood
up from my knees on the hill, but he shrank beneath me, curled up in
terror.

   "HhHhH!" I let my face fall, "Come on," help him up.  He stops crying by
the time we're across the feild.  I pull out a cigarette, let the smoke
roll out, swirl behind me as I lead him to the park.  "Hey, BRAD!" Still
smoking with his highschool buddies, he's got an open seat.  "Who's this?"

   "My boyfreind, Gary." I hold up his hand, and show him.  He looks
scared, or nervous, or surprised, or something.

   Gary {Bf TV Huml}

   "Nhn!" I turn away, face burning.

   "Cry you fucking baby!" The tear rolled down my cheekbone, still hot
from her smack.  Open hand, it hurt like a punch, I learned to just let my
head go, it didn't hurt so much I couldn't take it.  "WhnhN!" my nose shot
snot, and it swung down to stick wet, and disgusting on my lip.  She
smeared it with her fingers, rubbed my face in it.

   Like Frank, way back when, nobody else around, the wet splash on my
face, disgusting.  Now, I don't know what's wrong with me, She says it's
the way I learned about sex, but it's dirty, wrong, and humiliating.  It
has to be, or I can't, you know, do it?  It used to confuse me when I
wondered about it, but I kind of drift off.

   Even the pain, bringing me back, her nails in my flesh.  "You want me to
rip it off?"

   "NhH!" I stood up on my tiptoes, straight on the wall, "NOH!"

   "Good," she squeezed it on her wrist, "Then I can still use it," she
grinned evily, and pulled, hard until it snapped back, up on my belly.

   "NH!" she smacked it again, so hard it just bobbed back up.

   "HhH!" she sighed, and picked up her leg, dangling her panties between
her toes.  "HhHhH!" she plucked them with her fingers, and I tried not to
giggle as they tickled up my thigh.

   "ihN!" my hands came up.

   "Silence!" my head snapped to the other side, cheek burning, and I
sighed.  So strong, her fingers gripping through the slippery fabric.

   I held my breath, tried not to jerk my hips, hunch reflexively when the
skin rolled back, and my tip slipped out.  "hnHN!" My eyes squeezed shut,
and blood beat in my head.  The twitch jumped up my flesh slipping in the
slick pink, splashing out to wet it.  "hNhNhNhNhN!" I finally stopped, and
I could breathe.  "HhnhHhH!" I hunched and grunted when she slipped it off.

   "Nom!" I turned away, but she rubbed it in my face, disgusting, slimy
like snot, and I gagged.

   "Put them on," she threw them on my feet, "You fucking pussy." she
stomped off.  I guess I got to be abused, I'm just not gay, so it has to be
a girl.  Lucky I even know a girl like that.

   Liggett {fB TV WS}

   "Well!" I snapped my hands back from the spread folds of his pants, and
looked over my glasses.  My eyes are fine, but I snagged a pair of low
readers to perch down on my nose, "What do we have here?" Okay, they're my
panties, but I don't really like them.  He does.

   "Nhn!" they catch on prickles in his tummy.

   "Tktsk!" I shake my head, "This will never do!" The first real surprise,
I don't know why he didn't shave carefully as allways, unless it was a
ploy, something to punish him for.  He scooted back, spread his legs while
I dipped the razor in the water.  KXkt!  I scraped him clean.

   "unT!" he jumped when I snapped them back, shook the rasor in the cold
water, and turned to set it aside.  "You have to pee?" he brought his knees
together behind me, and I reached down.

   "Mhm!" I held them shut, hardness sticking up between his thighs. 
Pushing it down, "Go ahead," it spread wetly between his legs, dripped, but
didn't squirt, or get on me.  Twisted little set of taboos, and fetishes in
this one, piss is sexy, but semen disgusting, gay.  I'm still working out
this whole sadism thing, but I don't have the heart to call him Faggot.

   "Nh!" he's to scared of someone comming in, the locked lavatory, in the
empty office, long after most everyone was gone.  Yeah, it says [DO NOT
DUPLICATE], but there's a cutter in the shop lab.  Brilliant security, it
didn't even leave campus.  But, that means I don't have to Silence him.

   I took his underwear, sniffed it to make sure it was clean, but he's
obedient, almost to a fault.  Sighing, I slip my hand in, a little tight
even, white, cotton, he runs, but I close my eyes, sweep my fingertips in
through the fly.  Damp, full of blood, almost hot inside, but my fingertip
just covered the hole, the other two spreading back.  "Nhn!" I leanded back
on the sink, bumped the razor to clatter to the floor.

   Oh yeah, he ran with his tail between his legs, fresh scraped pubis, and
stubble itching, a gentle reminder.  His grades already slipped, he was
held back, couldn't concentrate with the psychic break, constant compulsive
mastrubation.  "HhHhH!" The inside of my knuckle, rough, and calloused
through the cotton back flap of the fly.  "nhN!"

   What the hell, I work in the office, saw his folder.  Turn around, press
your knuckles to the sink, reach back to switch off the light.  "NEAH!"
hard surface, with a corrosponding hard jerk through my fingers, with every
thrust.  "Hrn!" I'd learn to get off with him, crushing his still atrophic
penis, looking down on him, like this, gripping his wrists, holding him
down, helpless, crying with the pain, and shame.

   "Ngh!" swallow reflexively, drooling at both ends, warmth licking up my
back.  Hair standing out in my scalp, tight, pulling my forehead tight.  I
turn on the light, look up, keep my eyes open as long as I can, as it
washes up behind me, over me, crashing down like a wave of blood. 
Thrumming through me, like vaporised fuel, exhaust curling out my lips,
nose, "hhhhhhhhH!"

   I fixed my pants, cleaned up quick, had to clear campus for a cigarette.

   Gary {fB Drag Bond CBT Ffem}

   "Jody!?" I mean the old outfit, ballcap, jeans, I practlicly pushed Josh
out of the way.

   He slung a backpack at me, and I caught it by the straps before I
dropped it.  "Come on," she turned, "(see You later.)"

   "Unh?" I ran after her, struggling my arms into the straps.  She lit a
cigarette, and I caught up.

   "Thersh water in there," she pointed with the lighter, "Drink It."

   "Okay," she looks good as a boy, kinda like Christian Slater, grinning,
letting the smoke roll out, and sucking it in his nose.  "GlglglK!"

   "Gotta keep up yer strenth," he wandered up the sidewalk, dragging the
smoke behind in the still afternoon air.

   "Uh," I caught up, "Where we going?"

   "ShutUp," the cigaretee came down in his hand, "It's a surprise." Like a
spike, gripping the filter with her finger, and thumb.  I covered a giggle,
her hands gave it away.  Down a trail, at the dead end of the street, but
away from the park.  We had to jump over a little stream, more like a
creek, not even much water running down it.

   "Come on," not really a trail next to it, but just bare dirt on the
sides, we followed the water down.  Between two hills, or rises where the
ground went up, but the water kept going down.  I heard it drop, a little
fall, just a few inches, but it's so pretty.

   Like a little puddle, I don't guess I could jump over it, but not like a
pool, only a few inches deep, the water chuckling again over a log, on the
other side.  "We're here," she took off his jacket, and grabbed the
backpack.  Kind of light with the water from the outside pocket, I forgot
it was on, felt the sweat cool from the spot it covered.

   zZpP!  "Here, put this on." A dress?  I almost squeeked, it's cute, and
satiny, and white with a pink ribbon around the hem, and arms, and neck.  I
pull off my shirt, but he walks off, lights another one off the burning
end. Just a black tee shirt, his ballcap comes up, and two plumes of smoke,
from her nose.  Ooh, new panties.

   Bright red, lacy trim, with a pink bow, threaded through the trim like a
drawstring around the waist.  I slipped them up, my fingers around the
legs, up the front, now where did she go?

   "Jody?" I pulled the dress over, "Where'd you?"

   "HhH!" I turned, though I heard a foot fall.  "Hello, little girl!" I
jumped, spun, "What a pretty dress you got there!" Oh, I got it, soon as I
saw the look on his face.  Predatory, hat gone, hair pointing down between
sharp eyebrows, \v/ nose curled up, and wrincled, like a big bad wolf.

   "nH?" he pounced, hand over my mouth in a flash, pushing me back to a
tree.  "NnhH!"

   "Heheh!" a dry chuckle on my neck, teeth gently pinching my earlobe. 
His hands down my shoulders, tummy, brushing the shirt, and gripping my
arms.  Her mouth took mine, pulling my teeth open with her's pulling, and
nipping at my lips, and tongue.  She put my hands in front, pressed my
wrists into the skirt, between my legs, against the hardness there.

   "nH!" I squirmed uncomfortably.  The tight slick fabric, rough itch of
the lace.  "hnH?" Tightness, a thin line of pressure on my wrist, around
it, and the other.  "ihN!" Jerked tight, it hurt, even as she pulled back,
pushed my arms up between us, into the bark over me.

   "Well!" he grinned evilly, and rubbed through the skirt with her other
hand, "What have we here?"

   "UhH!" her eyed widened, with visible fury, I didn't go on.

   She licked her lip, even her tongue looks sharp.  "I set my trap for a
princess," she shakes her head, slaps my cheek, and I jump, squeek in
surprise.  "Been putting on a little weight too," she pats my tummy, "Eh
little miss piggy?" I can't help it!  The skirt rustles around my legs, her
hand, slipping in, petting the front of my panties.

   "Here," he steps back, and pulls my hands, "Lie down." Okay, I do, on my
back, and he lets go my arms.  So strong, standing over me, and flat
chested.  I didn't notice before, I guess it looked right, for Jody.

   "Nhn?" I turned away at his glare, felt his hands slip up my cleanshaven
legs, under the swishing skirt, to the panties, the bow, pulling the ribbon
loose, and slipping them down.  "hnH?" the skirt flopped down, over my
hands, and she looked down, biting her lip in concentration.  It was warm,
looping under my purse, and tight.  "IhnhnH!" I started to cry, it hurt,
cut into my skin, around the base of the Hardness.

   "There!" she finished it with a bow, tugging the loops even between the
hardness, and my balls, bulging in the tight hairless skin.  I couldn't
even see it, but still feel it, even now, hours later.

   Liggett {fB Rape}

   So cute, bulging pink with the pressure.  He'd have to pee soon, could
set your watch to his bladder, a stop watch.  Call it an experiment in
negative reinforcement, he can't pee like this, cum, drag it out till I can
get off.  I hadn't in weeks, even touched myself, waiting for it to build
up.

   It hurt, darkening to purple, harder than I thought it could get,
bulging every vessel.  Pinned under me, the crotch of my pants, the seam
rubbing into me, the little button of pleasure.  Holding his arms, around
his head, the old bruises from my fingers, and thumbs, his exited pulse in
the brachial arteries.

   The unnatural bulge under me, twitching in it, the piss, and blood, and
cum boiling up, too soon, trying to burst out, but just splashing in little
drops on the lacey fringe.  He screwed his face up, held back a scream, but
stayed hard!  Even after popping off, I had enough to grind deep into me,
had to hold his mouth.

   "MRhHhH!" there, the hot rush, like steam up my back.  I thought my clit
would pop, burst, and I wet my pants.  "Uh!" so intense, "UhUhHuh!" I
untyed it before something did burst, and it did.  It softened, vomited the
nasty mix all over the skirt.

   "uHn!" he finally relaxed, and the color drained from it.  Exept the
thin pink stripes, ligature marks, hairline bruises where the ribbon cut
into his flesh.  I cought my breath, got another cig out, and wandered off.
Liggett Selects, red pack, 100s.  I thumped it off, and went inside. 
Upstairs to the bathroom, run up the hot water, and get my skin out.

   "Huh!" I pull off the tee shirt, unwrap the tape, deep breath and sigh,
scratch the sticky line at the edge.  "KshSH!" I slip down my pants, "Ugh!"
Sticky mess, bloody, gritty flecks, all my underwear is stained with it by
now, have to bleach it to cotton powder to get it white again.  "Hhnhn!"
pull down the hose, "I wanna take me," echos in the plastic walls, "You
wanna shake me," spread my legs, "People say I'm outta my miiiinD!"

   Hot, wet, clean, gushing into me.  The heavy crushing guitaur sound I
won't even try to reproduce with my mouth.  {Yello - Ola Kolati (Stella)}
"I'm going down, evrything's around, evrything is getting diviiine!"
Scrubbing the tape sticky, he is getting pretty pudgy, have to get his
measurements.  The blood, and flecks swirl down like Psycho, and I get out.
I guess I like it, the fat, makes him soft, might could fill an A cup.

   Wrapping a towel around my waist, I ignore Brad's disgusted look, and
drop my clothes on the bed.  A fresh pair, I wad the old ones, sniff
nothing but laundry soap on the rusty stains.  Go through the old ones,
trainers way too small, but then they'd be tight, straps cutting into his
back.  Sigh, I'd have to go shopping for him, "Agaaiin!"

   Josh {fm Cast}

   "Oh, hey josh," she looks over my shoulder, "Gary home?" I shook my
head, Jody, from the treehouse.

   "Uh, no." she puts her hand on my chest, and i step back, skin crawling
up the back of my neck.  "UhH,.."

   "I'll wait," she spins around, skirt dropping around her legs, "I'll
wait," she drops her purse on the sofa.  "So," she crosses her legs,
"Whatcha been up to, Josh?"

   "Idaknow," I look around, "School, and stuff." She was working in the
middle school office, but "I'm a freshman now."

   "How's high school?" he hand boredly petted the cushion next to her.

   "Uh," I looked up, over at her, "Fine," I had to sit down.

   "Over here," she scooted.  More than a little uncomfortable, I swung my
but over to the couch.

   "Uh," I looked up from her hands in her lap, "Aren't you going out with
Gary?" I didn't understand it, but that's what I heard.

   "Is that what he told you?" her hands flopped up to her chest with her
laugh, "Ahahahaha, no, he's still very much a little boy, not like you."
they came down on my leg, "You're almost a man, arn't you?" She'd be a
freshman too, if she wasn't held back.

   "Uhuh?" I guessed, but started to feel it when her fingers crept up my
leg.

   "Yeah," she felt it through the pantleg.  Slipping it up, she pinched
the zipper, pulled it down with her fingertips.  "nhM!" She tasted like
cigarettes, smokey, fingers slipping in to dig it out, zipper gently sawing
the sides.  I couldn't believe it, still a little stunned.  I mean, I
thought she hated me, I would if that happened to me.  "Smuit!" she grinned
down, "Got something for this?" squeezed a couple times.

   "Uhuh," I looked down.

   "I do," she grinned, and pulled her purse across her lap.

   "Uh!" my eyes flew to the window, Gary came in, stopped, looked over,
brought his hands up to his mouth.

   KRXK!  I looked down.  She must've stole them from the office, long,
sharp, swinging open between my legs.

   "UhHhH!" I tried to pull back, but that just pressed my hardness into
the edges.

   "Oh," she turned, grinned, "Hey Gary."

   Liggett {f-m Solo TV}

   I think I blacked out, must've took his keys, car.  Shaking my head, I
put my hand back down on the wheel.  Look at the other one, back at the
road, lane, out of the oncomming headights.  How long have I been driving?
I seen people do it, did I hit anything?

   "Ope," here comes another car, I bet my nuckles are white, under the
red. Dried, brown, almost yellowish in the headlights, thank goodness it
passes.  Now don't close your eyes, where are you going.  Don't focus on
what you did, but the logical concequences.  Oh look, a rest stop.

   Priority: avoid getting killed, or captured.  What do I have, my
backpack, Jody's pants, tee shirt, oh good, some tape left.  A family
lavatory between the men's, and womens, I lock the door, dump it out.  Some
quick pushups, don't count them, use the blood, feel the muscle bulge in my
chest.
"KRK" stick it, and lay back.  Cold filthy tile, but the gravity helps
pull it out, flat along the line of my pectoral.  Hold my breath, tight on
my ribs, then another strip.  Vertical, making a sharp corner.  "HhihihH!"
I try to fill just one lung, squeeze it out, and reach over to anchor it

quick.  I flex, my left arm, forcing out the flat corner of muscle.

   The next strips go across, smoothed out in the middle, over my nipples,
pulled from the ends, and carefully stuck on the anchoring tape.  Hunching
foreward, I carefully crawl the shirt on, chest tight, but flat.  "h,"
shallow breath, leaning back, "hH," using just my abdomen.  Flip on my cap,
and pull it down by the brim.

   Frances {m"m" NS}

   Ah sweet jesus, I hate this school.  Locked down like a prison, training
school, all kids with Behavioural problems, like me.  But I'm just the new
kid, soon I'll take over this place, get some boys, Rule it.  I got a
couple years, to plan, and prepare.

   "Hey," little shrimp comes up, "You got (any fire)?" drops to a whisper,
hiding under the ballcap.  Black hair, almost long enough to get
repremanded for.

   "yh," lean in, "(got any herb?)"

   "(Just cigarettes,)" he turns, and slinks out.  Must be goth, or
something, three different colors of black.  The hair had to be died, but
there's no way they'd let him get away with nail polish.

   "I'm frank," I caught up at the parking lot.

   "Vic," he held back a pack, sticking out.  [W&7] upside down, [L&M]
turned back over.

   "Oh," I think I seen them behind the counter, "Didn't know anybody
smoked these."

   PHW!  he held up the match, wiggling in front of his sunglasses.

   "Cool shades!" wrapped around.

   "Thenks, Pt." spat a brown flake from the filter.

   For a seccond, I got a little De Ja Vue, shook my head.  I guess I saw
him around, and didn't notice.  "What?" he grinned self conciously, "You
ain't a faggot, or nothin',?"

   "Nno!" he already turned, and walked off.

   "good."

   Liggett {f-m tran solo}

   Great security, guards, metal detectors, locker searches, no idea
somebody would actually sneak in.  New year, new kids, they just let me
blend in with the other fresh"men".  Boys mostly, I still looked young
enough.  Just never went to class, hid out between period changes until the
lunches, then the gym, and weight room were open.

   Shaping up pretty good, ripped arms, and legs, tight core, under the
spandex, and tape.  Rippling midriff, I tucked the toes of my sports shoes
under the weight rack, and sat up.  Don't count, just feel the flexing,
dynamic tension pulling up my body.  Arms crossed on my chest, I
straightened out, leaned back diagonal.

   "Hh," I twisted, "hH!" back the other way, cranked my shoulders, and
pulled with my obliques.  "HwphH!" I layed back, caught my breath, got up,
and layed across the bench.  "HhnhH!" I stood up the bar on my arms, rolled
it back on my fingers, and tightened them, in whatever order best balanced
it.

   "WhwhwhwhW!" deep breath, hold it, push it down bulging in my belly to
spread the bones under me, compress my biceps, force it upwards, stand it
back up, and take another breath.  "WhwhwhwhwW!  nhNT!" Blood pounding,
can't even hear the grunts, just watch the bar come down, forearms tighten,
knuckles go white, slowly getting smaller, swaying back.

   KANK!  I sit up, breathe, run my hands up, and down my arms.  Tight,
bulging, hard, and strong, I catch my breath.  Toweling my short black
brush of hair, I head out for the bleachers, pound down a powerade, and go
for a run.  I don't know how many times, up, and down, concentrated on
staying on my toes, launching up, and the hard twitch in my calves.

   Now, lunch.  I grabbed a tray, mashed potatoes, cream gravy.  A patty of
some sort of mystery meat, burned, and dessicated to perfection.

   "Hey, Victor." I look up from my notebook, "Whatcha writing?"

   I pick up my fork, roll the patty around in the gravy, "Workout log," I
take a bite, look through my bangs at him.  Cut off at the hairline in
back, it wasn't technicly against dresscode.  I set the pencil down on the
cover of the closed notebook.

   "Nice guns," I stretched them out in front of me, laced my fingers, and
twisted, stretching them out.

   "Thanks."

   "Uh," he looked around, "You got a pack?"

   "Yeah," he turned, and dug in his pocket.  "Hmn," I sat back up, arms
under the table.  He looked around again, suspicious enough to get us
busted.  I felt his hand took the bill, and tuck it in my hand.  "Sorry,"
L&Ms, "All I got."

   "Whatever," he tucked them in his pocket, and got up.  Can't smoke one
till they let us out, but I watched the faculty watch him, one following,
and used the distraction to slip out.  All right, I know what I need to do,
but how?  I know it can be done, I just need to keep planning.  Head for
the locker room, I need a shower.

   Frances {M"m" NS}

   He picks me up.  Just like josh, and gary's dad's car, only painted
black.  "Is this?" weird electronic sounds coming from the speakers, "Goth
music?"

   "Industrial music," he pulls out, "For Industrial people." (Throbbing
Gristle - Discipline)

   "Weird," doesn't sound like music, not even screaming the lyrics, but
this weird raspy moaning over the randm sounding beat, and zapping sounds,
is that even a guitar?  "cool?"

   "It's more like Antimusic," he taps the steering wheel, "Very
experimental."

   "Oh," it finally stops, but the tape auto reverses, and starts up again.
"You like this?"

   "Yeah," he bangs his head, "It's like, the noise in my head." Creepy
grin, too.  I guess it's too hot for the black trenchcoat over the back
seat.

   I look back, through the tapes on the seat.  All dubs, they got weird
labels, like Godflesh, and Fudge Tunnel.  "Where do you get this stuff?

   She shrugs, "My brother dubs them," pops out the tape, tosses it back,
and cuts down the volume.  "Uh!"

   "Hey, I like that song!" (Stained - It's been a while.)

   "HhHhH!" he shivers, plugs in the adapter, and spins up the diskman.

   Clk, he skips the first track.  WUKAWUKAWAWA, I shook my head, "Now
what?"

   "Orgy," he grins, looks back at the road, and straightens out the wheel.
What the hell, it's better then the bus.

   Liggett {fm Rape}

   Under me, pinned, strapped down, and trussed up, bulging with blood. 
"Nhn!" fingers busy, slipping the skin between them.  Yeah, just likeat, I
roll down the windows, let in some cool air, light a cigarette.  Looking
around, nobody saw that, keep it low.

   "Hnh!" the smoke rolls out.  The problem is I don't have a place yet, to
take him, "Frances." Another drag, can't really plan it out without that,
just fantasize.  How is taken care of, drive him there, promise something
irresistable.  But make it quick, I don't know how much longer I can live
like this.

   Stealing cartons to sell for money, not enough for rent, like anybody
would let me sign a lease under an identity from forged school documents.
Even that's to young without a signature, I can't get a real job either, or
liscence.  Only a matter of time before I get caught.

   The trick is not looking homeless.  I get a shower at school, while the
locker rooms are empty, but the laundromat is so expensive, barely eating
enough to maintain mass, much less gain any.  Yeah, I flip off the butt,
and roll up the window, better think of something quick.  Curling up in the
trenchcoat, I slowly drift off.

   Frances {M"m" NS}

   "Hey man," I skoot up next to him in the library.

   "Hey," he palms te bill, and drops it in my hand.  "(now this ain't
swag,)" whispers, but doesn't look around, "(you got somebody to smoke it
with?"

   "Uh," just a pinner, "Yeah," wrapped in cellophane sealed with a
lighter. No way to pinch off it before I give him it.

   "I'll be by the football bleachers after school," he got up, "If you
want to burn one."

   "Sure," I head out, and around.  Looking around, I walk back to the
fence, slip it through.

   "Thanks, bra!" he wanders off, with his girlfreind.  Cute little thing,
looking back, I lower my head.  We don't got them here, split tails, but I
think about how her ass moved in those jeans when she walked off.  Yeah,
let me see you leave her alone, out there, just once.  I'll show her a real
man.

   "Hey," I turn.

   "Oh hey," cross my legs, "Victor."

   "Bout ready to blow this joint?" he grinned, lips together.

   "Put that down!" I pushed his hand, "I still got a class."

   "Huh," he snorted, tucked in his shirt pocket, "They know why we're
here, what they don't expect us to skip?"

   Come to think of it, I never seen him go to class.  "Come on," he
stepped around the side of the library, and I ran to catch up.  There was a
lot of weeds back there, and trash.  Some guy looked out the window, and I
kept my face down.