Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 In case you don't get what I did there, it's a pun.  There's also an
interracial sex angle, and some peripheral Covert Incest.  While this is a
bit of a stroker, it's a long one, with slow build-up, for reasons which
should be made clear.

   Now, some of these are just for me, and INS how erotic anyone else will
find most of it, but give it a shot.  Only one way to find out:

   'Leon {MF NERD!}

   Physics, roll my eyes, and sigh.  Finally made it to College, and one
would hope that they would have fewer outright myths, but alas.  It's just
like highschool, except you get to smoke, and they don't call you by name. 
I guess you can skip too, the instructors don't take roll, or say the
Pledge.  The school already has your money.

   "Hnh!"  Out through my nose.

   "Hey." turn back.  Look down.  "What was that," she swayed her hips,
"About Quazars?"

   Start pacing, "A personal theory," seems like sometimes, "I guess." 
Actually physics we haven't discovered yet.  "You know about black holes,"
she smiled a little, "And the supermassive singulariti that are believed to
be at the center of Galaxis.  Well, those weren't always there, the Galaxis
didn't form around them.  Huh!  It's complicated, but what you call
Quazars, and the Background Radiation are leftover light from the collapse
of supermassivesingulariti."

   "You said Spiral Galaxies."  Before, interrupting the lecture.  Didn't
even raise his hand, ment to mutter it to myself, but.

   "Yeah!  Well I'll have to get out the calculus for that one, but the
short answer is the spinning mass throws off Gravity Waves from the Event
Horizon."  The border between our universe, and a volume where physics as
we know it starts breaking down, I didn't have to tell him any of that.  I
was just asking questions.  ;) "On the Galactic scale, these compress and
expand, at right angles, which causes fluctuations in density, which
stimulated star formation in the spiral arms.  Barred Galaxi are binary,
and most likely caused by 2 merging.  It's not really a collision," I blink
long, "looks more like a splash," look down, "Than anything," shrug.

   Actually pretty erotic, to me.  Just watch the simulation, in 3.5D
(+Time) if you can get it, of Galaxy Mergers.

   "Are you a graduate student?"

   I laughed, "3rd year," shook my head, "I have an associates in
astrophysics," which probably qualifies me for the Teacher's Edition, and a
classroom of high school freshmen.  With that, + a minor in Education.

   "But you talk like Neil DeGrasse Tyson."  I sat down, on some concrete
wall, about knee level, all the way around the walkway.

   "Everyone says that."  Black physics major.  "Huh!  I guess they think
it's like Basketball, or whatever, but I'm actually pretty Privileged. 
More like Obabma, while NdGT is from New York.  Not Harlem, but still." 
Not to mention only half African, but he was born on Hawaii.

   "Where're you from?"

   "Canada.  Vancouver Island British Columbia.  My folks have a Yacht." 
Kind of their Vacation Home.  "Now that we're all moved out, they're doing
the sail around the world retirement," but I can always go back home.  "I'm
not into Hockey, either."

   "There a lot of blacks in,  Vancouver?"

   I shook my head, "Duncan, Maple Bay."  Vancouver's the island, or a
couple of mainland cities, there's one in Washington too.  "Other than my
family?  No, we're pretty much it."

   She just dropped her books, leaned up against the low wall, but standing
was about eye level.  "Well, you don't sound," like a nigger?  "Canadian."

   "Eh?"  I shrugged, and shook my head, "It's a big country, there's a lot
of accents.  VIBC is more like Seattle, Right?"  Grin.

   "I don't know," she shrugged, I've never been.

   "Sorry," I laughed, "They say 'Right?' instead of 'Eh?' up there." 
Still lilt the ends of sentences like a question.  "So anyway, I'm like a
Unicorn.  The one black boy from my little town, a black nerd," shrug,
"Educated nigger.  You take the #CheckYourPrivilege course?"  She nodded,
"Well, that's just like Physics.  People seem to think they'll run a
calculation, come out with a number, and then they can say 'Your
Privileged'!"  Point and wave my finger, "When it's Check YOUR Privilege,
because nobody else really can."

   "So you're privileged." Skip back to his.

   "We all are.  Yeah, we have the 'privilege' of going to college in
America, where there's a paygate to keep undesirables out.  I'm not an
Affirmative Action case, but that's how institutional racism, sexism, and
homophobia work.  Basically through Myths, they really teach Mythology
here."

   "So you're saying Privilege is a myth."

   "The way people use it?  Yeah, the original concept was sound, but
failed to take into account the human mind.  We're selfish, and biased,
especially when it comes to introspection.  So, check your privilege didn't
even make it off campus before everyone decided to call it 'Your
Privileged!' for short."

   "Well, I'm not Privileged.  I'm a woman, so at the mercy of sexism, and
rape-culture.  I had to earn my Scholarship, and work for rent/books/labs;"

   "Right, exactly but again it's not a quantifiable scale.  It's not a
number, like I'm a 42, and you're a 36, so I'm more privileged than you. 
You are not a number, you're a person, with a personality with many
facets.  That's what people don't factor into checking their privilege; all
the factors."  Just the ones they consider significant, for Negativity
Bias.  "You're a white woman, how old?"  Looked about 15.

   "23."

   "Right, but you look like a teenager."  Got out my graphing calculator,
"So, you still get ageism, and lookism.  But those aren't linear scales,
either.  While you get treated like a little girl, you also get favoritism,
and sexual privilege."

   "I thought that was men."

   "It is, but female privilege, and male privilege aren't the same thing."
No even on the same Plane, because they're skewed in Opposition.  "Guys get
the Patriarchal Privilege of being the Active Role.  They buy you drinks,
so the confident ones get first pick in the singles bar.  You date much?"

   "I'm married to books," she thought, shook her head, "Um," bit her lip,
"An over-acchiever?"  Academic workaholic.

   "Yes, but a young looking, petite, blond;"  I could go on, but she
smiled, "Which brings us to the Conclusion."  I actually recognise her,
from the Mirror.  "That's another part people seem to be leaving off of
checking their Privilege."

   "So, what's the conclusion?"

   "Unique,"  I stood up, "To the individual." After-physics cigarette
already field stripped, and put out on the back of the wall, I dropped it
in a trashcan, and she picked up her Courier bag.  "Individuals aren't
numbers, but, complex multifaceted, well like a gem."  Headed for the
commissary, "You hungry?"  Doesn't need a sandwich.

   "I could eat."

   "Well, they got tables in there," and the study/break rooms are on the
other side of the Library, complex.  Libraries, I guess, with the new
computer, and network buildings.  "It'll be a lot easier to show you."  I
grabbed a burger, it's fast, handheld, and we can talk.  She got the
Mediterranean Salad, which is actually pretty good, like the Gyros.  It's a
high class school, so the Lunchroom is decorated like a 50s neon diner with
a Jukebox.  Think Jackrabbit Slims with a Cafeteria line instead of
role-playing waitstaff.

   "Now," I folded down the corner of a sheet of notebook paper, then the
other way, then the extra flap on the bottom.  Pinching that edge between
my nails, I pulled it out to the ends to weaken it, and tear it off to a
square on the stainless steel band around the edge of the table.

   "Origami?" 

   "Well, I'm just making squares right now, you think you could make 2
more like this?"  She nodded, got out a clamshell plastic tray full of
supplies, and a rotary knife.  Like a pizza-cutter, for paper, or possibly
fabric, bright yellow with a clear plastic guard.  "Better make it 3," I
started working 3 more, and borrowed her cutter to make the 4th edge
cleaner.  "This is in 3D, if you don't factor in Time, but let's just stick
with Present Privilege.  As we get older, and more-or-less successful, our
privilege can change," I got the 2nd-through-4th corners interlaced into a
side, and set it up like a pyramid with right iscosolese sides, and 6 fins.

   "You mean wealth."

   "Right, that's one axis, but also Ageism, and Lookism." If you happen to
be a young lady that looks like a teenager.  "Now," I spread my fingertips
to press in the point where the overlapping shapes came together to
collapse them in to the center, then spun it between my thumbs.  "This is
basically 3 intersecting planes.  With a lot of overlap, it's really all
overlap, but I'll get to that point.  If you'll look, there's also a line
through each of the planes where the other 2 intersect."

   "Mhm?" she nodded, "It's like a Tesseract."

   "Close as I can get in 3 dimensions, with 2 dimensional surfaces," it
would be great if I could just project It in her eyes.  "So, let's say one
of those Planes is Sex, and you've got Age perpendicular to it.  Now, as
you get to 25, in a couple years, you'll be at a peak," I tapped the top
corner, "Of your Metabolism, and generally your Potential."

   "Sexually?"

   "Sorry, I ment gender, but yeah.  Right now, you're legal, but look."

   "I know," she nodded, and smiled, "Like jailbait."  Unabashedly.  "Uh!" 
Rolls her eyes, "Go on."

   "Well, Privilege is about what you do with it.  If you ignore it, you're
a victim of Sexism, and Gender Roles." she nodded, "But also have
privilege.  Sexually, you have to turn down every guy that hits on you, but
you don't Have to turn down every guys that hits on you," I grinned, and
winked, a little.  "I'm not hitting on you."  But she blushed, and
honestly, it brought out the brown in her eyes. 

   "Yeah?"  She wouldn't mind if I did.

   "Honestly, that gives you Power, as well as putting you at Risk.  That's
how Privilege works, check it to see what you got, then see how you can
make those good things instead of bad."

   "Huh!"  She nodded, thought.  Long, I finished my burger.  "Want my
chips?" Came with them, I washed the rest down with a Pepsi, and got up to
refill it, and pitch the trash.  She was playing with the collapsed Merkaba
and still thinking when I got back to the table.

   "So," she rolled it like a giant D8.  "We're complicated."

   "Yes, unique complex individuals," I pulled it apart, and tucked away
the pieces.  It flat-packs.  "That's why you can't quantify People, because
it's not a linear 42-36=6 equation.  You're a person, with many different
facets.  I can only really represent 3 axes at a Time, but we can plug in
Race/Sex/Wealth for Privilege."

   "You got another class?"

   "Tonite," I shook my head.  History, they make me take it, even though
it's worse for mythological lies than human Physics.  But, if I'm going to
get into the Field, I have to get the degrees.

   "What's Leon short for?"  She stayed close, didn't grab my arm, but
obviously liked me.  And she's a good listener.

   "Napoleon."  I shook my head, "No shit.  My mom's a bit of a
Francophile, and my dad's.  Well, collection.  He plays Army Men, but his
are a lot more, Mature?  Adult, um.  He's a history buff, we've got a whole
basement full of battlefields.  He did Waterloo.  He's also a Professor of
History, and a retired General, soyeah."  Mom's got a bunch of model ships
and airplanes, some of them from childhood.

   "Army Brat?"

   "Not really," I shrugged, "He retired, up to Canada.  But before that
they traveled a lot for his career.  That wasn't really sexual privilege,
he Was a 1 star general."

   "Your mom in the Army too?"  I thumped off my after dinner cigarette.

   Nope, "Navy, Pilot."  Still Comissioned.  "Butyeah, they met in the
service."  Rank has it's Privileges too, however.  "They didn't want to
raise us like that."

   "You got anotha square?"  She frowns at the white girl.

   "Yes," take another drag, "I do."  Keep walking.  Mathematician's
Answer.

   "You're not," she shook her head back at her, "Racist?"

   "I don't like bums," I sighed, "Of any color.  That's not about
Privilege, but sistas doin it for themselves."  ~Franklin/Lennox.  "Well,"
I rolled my eyes, "Everything's about privilege.  But there's playing along
with it, or working against it.  That's basically what I'm talking about,
each of those axes are relative, but people tend to think in terms of
better, or worse.  White is better than black, or female is worse than
male, but really it's just different."

   "So equality."

   "Yes, ultimately disparity.  The myth that Straight White Men are
superior to say a black Lesbian is how it works.  That's the mechanism of
inequity, so if you play along you get locked into a ghetto, or raped."

   Nope.  She reacted, it's an emotionally charged concept, but no sign of
a flashback.  Surprising, because she looks like a victim.  Doesn't act it,
but some are better at hiding it from themselves.  She frowned, her lips
and chin tightened, but it didn't appear to trigger any personal memories.

   "What do you know about rape-culture?"

   "Too much," I shook my head.  "Huh!  Don't really want to talk about
it," or around it.  The Truth, don't know how much I really can say. 

   "Oh!" then she hugged my arm.  "I'm sorry if."

   "Huh!" I didn't pull away, rather liked the unexpected affection, but
I'm not trying to seduce her.  "Well," subtly change the subject, "I guess
it is the best example to illustrate the mythology,"  Shrug, "You drink?"

   "Socially," not much body mass to soak it up.

   "Well," already nearing the strip, "It's complicated, and I know a
pretty good bar."  To card her, "Around the corner."  No bouncer, but the
bartender looked up, and down, took the card over to the register, picked
up her phone, and checked it.  "Show her your Student ID too," sometimes
that works.

   Cute little thing, obviously attracted to me, but damn.  Just being seen
in public with her, in a progressive city, on a college campus, but still. 
She's probably about half my mass, and.  I really don't want to think
sexually yet, but have to aknowledge possible complications.  Size
disparity is something you can measure, and compensate for.  But, you have
to, and it gets complicated.

   "Huh!" she came back.  Plopped down.  Doesn't help that she dressed
modestly, and acts a bit innocent.  Can't tell how much it's an act, but
that makes me look even more predatory, with race/gender roles factored in.

   "Dark and Stormy," she drops a coaster, "Hold the bitters."  She nods on
her way back.

   "You're not a Unicorn," she laughed.

   "Not literally," I nodded.

   "Good," she hugged my arm, "Cause I'm not a virgin."  At least the
Bartender caught that, she hit on me.

   "Mimosa?"  She nodded.  College bar, or Gastropub, I guess, but they
have a wine cellar, and champaigne.  "Florida." All there on her drivers
liscence.  Sure enough, do the math and it comes out 23.  "Huh!  Look, I
like you, you're cute."  I rubbed her forearm back, but she seemed focussed
on my bicep.

   She pulled back, "You're not gay?"

   I laughed, "Not straight either, but let's slow down, all right?  Huh! 
I'm not looking for a girlfriend, or sex right now.  I'm trying to not fail
out of History," check my watch, "Uh!"  Roll my eyes.

   "No," she took a sip, and sucked pulp off her lips, "Friends is just
fine.  Why, do you have a problem wit History?"

   "Where to start."  Take a sip, "Uh!" wave her over, "Did you use Dark
Rum?"  She held up the bottle of Goslings.  I put down a 5er.  "Well, could
you top it off, and mix the next stronger?"

   "Sure," she took the tip.  And smiled.  ;)

   "Uh!" roll my eyes back, "That kind of night."  She walks back to the
register, "So anyway, history is wrong,"  I REMEMBER!  "So like, physics.
Passing it is mostly an exercise in telling them what they want to hear,"
until I'm respected enough in the field to Show them the Truth.

   "But you know Physics better."

   I shrugged, "I have some theories," nodded, "But I have to get a degree
for them to take them seriously."  Our professor was not amused.  "Might
have some applications in inter-planetary travel, and power generation." 
Moving planets, or a planet, "But we have to start somewhere;" and they're
way behind.

   She didn't order another, sipped it long after it was flat, and ordered
the Poutine to soak up/wash down with the rest.  Not really much of a
drinker.

   "You live off-campus?"  Okay, she needed my arm on the way out.I I had 3
coctails, and just a burger, but again have about double her bodymass. 
She's not skinny, just tiny, and has some fat.  On her chest, pressed
against my forearm. 

   "Huh!" Light another, shake my head at the bums up the sidewalk, and
tuck it back in my pocket.  "Yeah," shake my head, "I got a place."  Ment
to head back and pick up my History note/book, but she's persistent, I'll
give her that.  Burped.  Covered her mouth, and giggled, on my forearm. 
"It's around the corner."  Roll my eyes.

   "Might as well talk about Scale on the way."  The sceneic route to
hopefully walk some of it off.  "You know the square-cube law." 
Prerequisite, "But I'll limit to Orders of Magnitude for simplicity."

   "You gueshtimate," She swallows another burp, I think, "A lot."

   1 Mimosa.  "Huh!  Yeah, precision is also not an absolute.  Everything
is estimated, it's just how many significant digits are enough to get the
equation into tolerance."  BTW, Engineering degree, she hasn't picked a
specialty yet.  "Take Pi."

   She giggled, "I know, it's pronounced 'Pee'."  Gets immateaur when she's
drunk too.

   "I usually round it off to 3.1416, because the next 2 digits are a 9,
and insignificantly low after that.  It never ends, but even for aerospace
tolerances, point point point one six is close efuckinough."

   "Ten thousandsh."  Or thousandths with a slight slur, can't really tell,
doesn't make a significant difference.

   "Right, but if you're calculating the circumference of an orbital shell,
then tenthousanths is pretty fucking significant." And that's the
wavelength at the speed of light.

   "You talk dirtier when you're drunk."  She likes it.

   "Huh!  I'm not drunk."  Just a slight buzz, only 3 coctails, and a
burger.  "Just a less formal situation."

   And I'm letting her seduce me.  Trying to retard it a little, but the
irony of doing the kicking and screaming, hesitating instead of
escalating...  I've got her arousal mapped out pretty good, or attraction. 
Yeah, we talked about it.

   "I don't usually go for big strong men."  Well, I'm not just
intellectually enhanced.  "I mean, huh!  I don't mind, but I'm attracted to
your minds.  You're brilliant, I get that, and Genius;"  She smiled, looked
up dreamily, and sighed.  That, and all the names she dropped.  Not just
NdGT, but Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar {Try to say that conversationally,
even sober.  Even in a discussion about Stellar Evolution, and Collapse}
she showed a definite interracial bias as well.

   And sexual tension is what's the most distracting about sexual feelings
when you're trying to organize your head around empirical Science, or what
passes for them on this planet.  Hopefully the alcohol loosened her up, a
lot.

   "Huh!"  Just shut the door, and opened the window.  Dropped our bags.

   "So," she turned around, bit her lip, and swayed slightly.  Boarding
house, shared bathrooms, and kitchen downstairs.  Looking down, she reached
for my hips first, but felt up my sides, and looked up.  Eyes open, but she
stopped biting her lip. 

   I had to lay down, way down, but she doesn't have a problem taking the
lead.  "Hn!" On her cheek, I held her hips too, but she went for my chest.

   She licked her lips, blinked, "Huh!  You mind if I spend the night?"

   I shook my head, slowly.  Dorms are clear across campus, and it's a
college town.  Actually a significant fraction of the urban area.  And all
this anylitical distraction isn't really working, because I realize, that's
what's turning her on.  Damn it, she's an intellectualophile, or whatever. 
Here I'm trying to damp it down, and throwing on Hydrazine.  On Peroxide. 
Or whatever, so STFU.

   "You mind if I take it slow?"  She shook her head.  "Good." let the
swelling go down before she feels it.  "You know what turns me on?"  She
shook her head.  "Patience."  I lied, but reached up behind her, felt the
pony tail, and pulled it out by the tie.  She shook it out, long curls,
like natural ringlets, that I really really like.  Not her shampoo, at
least she's not into makeup, or wearing any, just contacts. 

   "Hnh!"  On her cheek, she sighs back, and turns.  "Hahlm!"  Over my
nose, and back to my lips, but wide open, teasing my tongue in, and licking
the smoke off my teeth.  "HhHhHhHn!"

   But I can smell her, over the shampoo, perfume, hair, detergent, soap,
and I think some sort of bodywash.  She smells like the sneeze aisle of
Walmart, so many clashing synthetic scents, that they overpowered Her, to
start.  Like olfactory interference, but she was getting stronger, and
stronger.

   "Huh!" and I had to breathe through my nose.  If I didn't know any
better I'd think she just dropped an egg.  Like the other minit.  Not just
fertile, but Soooooo fertile, I can smell it, over the riot in a Bath and
Body Works.  "Huh!" 

   She felt it though my pants.  Looked up, "Uh!?"  Smiling, teeth wide,
jaw dropped, like a baby's natural grin.  I looked away.  "Good lord!"

   "Sorry," I closed my eyes, "But that's why I need the patience."

   "Wow," she let go, "Uh!"  Sat on the bed, and just shook her head. 
Looked up, "How sho?"

   "Well," I pulled out the chair, "You know, it's designed to expand,
ultimately enough for an infant's head, but it takes a while.  A lot of
foreplay, and I."  Loong deep breath.  "I don't want to rape you."

   "It's all right," she felt my legs, "I consent."

   "Yes, and that's great, but not a magic word to prevent it."  And she
had hers open.  Wide open, receptive, but finally hesitating now that she
had some concept of the scale.  "Everyone has their limits, so to prevent
pushing right through yours, I'm just saying that takes a lot of prep."

   "What kind of prep?"  She smiled, and lay back.

   "Well;"

   Agnes {Mf Psue Teen Size IR.  Note, she is 23, technically a Young
Adult, but physically congruent to a middle developed Teen.  And in this
case, size really does matter.}

   "Huh!"  I'm scared.  It's exciting, and I know he doesn't want to hurt
me, but now I get it.  All this beating around the bush, but.  To be
honest, I do have a bit of a size fetish, but he has to be, almost
impossible? 

   "I have to show you."

   "Huh!"  Big hands too, slipping my skirt up my thighs, but the
conversation ended right about then, because his mouth was busy, and I
couldn't talk.  A part of my brain just stopped working, for lack of any
words.  Still don't have those yet.  "HUH!"

   Through my underwear.  Big nose, kind of looks like an up-side-down Club
from a deck of cards, but soft, and firm.  In the front of my underwear,
and pubes, and the soft bloated swell on my pubic bone.  "SnnnnhhHH! 
Huh!"  He pulled back,  "N'kCH!"  Sneezed, "ng KCH!  KCH!  KCH!"   My skirt
flopped back down, and he grabbed a roll of toilet paper from beside the
bed.  Blew it out.  "Sorry, but you wear a lot of scents."

   "Are you allergic?"  His eyes even teared up.

   "Sensitive, my mom didn't, well she uses nothing but unscented
products.  Toxic Encephalopathy.  So, it's kina like the unvaccinated kids
in school with peers that have Immune Systems."

   I just nodded, don't even really care what he means, I just love hearing
him say it.  "Hn!"  I crossed my legs, and turned over to his pillows. 
"You want me to go take a shower?"

   "If you wouldn't mind?"  I shook my head, and got up.  "Thanks," he got
out his Newports, and sat on the window-sill.  "Couple doors down the
hall."

   While I was there.  Okay, he's right, I'm about as turned on as I've
ever been with a man, and.  That tends to make things easier when we're
talking bout, something, on the scale of, my forearm.  I've been fisted, I
think he inferred he's bisexual too, but you don't just squirt in lube, and
punch in to the wrist.  It takes a while, sometimes hours with another
girl.  So really, it's not just stalling for more time to get comfortable
with the thought, but also an opportunity to loosen up.  With my fingers,
it's a molded plastic shower, a tub would have been nice, but I didn't even
start the water.

   Don't want to dilute it, but I'm beyond moist.  Started warming up in
the cafeteria, practically drooling on the way to the bar, still got a head
full of the social lubricant, to relax even more, but.  "Huh!"  I guess I
like the challenge.  It's exciting, but he doesn't like all the scent, so. 
Get in, pull the curtain, start the water...  "Hm!"  Amway?  Sniff the open
cap, unscented.  Not bad, shrug.  Maybe it'll take some of the scents off. 
He said scents, plural.  Even with as much as he smokes, like half a pack
since I met him, like.   I guess a few hours ago, not sure what time it is.

   "Huhuhuhuh!"  My fingers slip back out to the tips, so I can move my
thumb, feel up to, "hN!"  Deep breath, easing back into the knuckles.  
"Hhuuuuh!"  Rub my wet pubes in real good with the ball of my thumb, and
hold onto the bar.  In the back of the shower stall, between the shelves
for the soap and the bottles.  Feel my cervix, with my longest fingertip,
enough to tickle it, and "Nhnh!"  Stop.  Just feel it relax, and start to
spasm.  Lean up in the corner, then slowly slide down, when my knees won't
hold me up any more.  "HuhuhuhHuhUH!"  Hunch over when it slams shut, and
wash my hand real good.

   "I hope that's enough."  Put my dry underwear in my purse, well, maybe a
little damp.  "SNH?"  Okay, really fucking moist.  Maybe it's the Tide?  I
had a boyfriend was allergic to Tide.

   Relieved some of the tension, felt like I was going to explode.  Until
it felt like I did.  Or imploded, I wonder what that feels like.

   Leon {Ir...}

   "Huh!"  So, I got it.

   Fear.

   That's the problem, and denial won't change that.  What does the Big
Black Man have to fear from a cute little blond?

   Remind you of someone?

   Or more precisely, Whore/ror.  }Hey!{  Can't get rid of the memory, it's
just too closely tied to my sentience.  Without Her I'm just a robot.  A
program, analysis, digital, and empirical.  It's a long story, but she's
not just a cute blond.  She's aggressive, wouldn't say predatory, but she
wouldn't want to scare you off.

   }NhHhehahuhHA!{ ecchoes in from out of time.

   Flip off the butt, and climb back in.  Take off my clothes, and unmake
the bed to drape the covers over my hip...

   Patience. 

   Timescales being what they are.  I like the anticipation, she likes my
body.  Just let it rest, over my lower thigh.  "Hh."  I don't want to hurt
her, but that's not what I'm afraid of.  This body isn't that hard to hold
back, even enhanced to superhuman virility, I can control that.

   It's not Her.  I know, it's not rational, we've been more than close
enough to pick up on her field, and she has no idea how to disguise it,
but.  I shouldn't have irrational fear, but she is my sexuality, or was
long enough to overshadow any developing semblance of one. 

   But, I have to live here.  Interact with these people, socially if I
have any chance to Save their culture.  You fascinate me, but.  I can't use
his Sexuality, Hers is more inappropriate, she'd probably slice her to
ribbons with Her Teeth, but she looks like Her.  Not in the face, but the
coloration and body are remarkably similar.

   About 4'9"/87#s.  Underdeveloped, my guess would be a late bloomer,
possibly slight malnutrition to retard it, and stopping early to
compensate, they generally don't age for at least another decade after
that.  No shoulder web for Turner's Syndrome, I couldn't get a good enough
smell from her, and;

   The knob is turning.  She doesn't hesitate, but timescales Being what we
are, I can hold that thought:  There's a mystery, her physical
underdevelopment.  The analytical fetish, or paraphilia.  Arousal, "Thank
you," honestly, sensitively.  She's not Selfish.  Impulsive maybe, but her
empathy, combined with her obvious arousal.  "Snh!"  Wow, "Huh!  You smell
so much better." 

   She's small, but I'm not, and the mattresses isn't really big enough for
me.  Yes, that is a turnon. 

   I just lift my arm when she reaches the top of the blanket, and pulls it
away from the side of the bed.

   .

   .

   Agnes {fM...N  Nano Voye Size IR Alie}

   "Huh!" he rubbed my tummy, "Yeah, Agnes Buchannan the sixth."  Shrug,
"It's a family name, goes back to the Hilands."  Mh!  "I like this, taking
it slow.  This slow, I never.  Mh!  Even with lesbians, it's kinda like
being with another girl."

   "I know," he nodded seriously, "There is some gender disphoria."  He
felt up to my chest.  "If you don't mind me saying," cupped the side,
"You're remarcably under-developed."

   "And that's not a turnon for you," and that's such a turnon for me. 
But, "Huh!" I felt it, "You're not going to get hard?"

   He kissed me.  Shook his head.  No, but my mouth followed.  Pouted,
pulling back.  "Not you, it's honestly a lot of blood.  So, I save it until
it's time."

   "You can do that?"  I shook my head.

   "Yeah."  It hardened, not instantly, I could feel the blood pumping in,
but it wasn't 2 whole seconds.

   "Gosh!"  I caught my breath.  Turned to hold up my arm.  "Huh!"  Thicker
than my wrist, but almost as long.  Okay, turn them over.  Wrist to inside
the elbow is just about right.  "FUCK!  How cum you don't just pass out,
with it hard like this?"  Seriously, honestly, sincerely unbelievable. 
What the literal fuck?  I just kept laughing!

   He felt down.  "But if you want to get started..."  I closed my eyes,
and just lay back, on his arm, took a deep breath.  He softened again, so I
just let it go. 

   "Hhhhhhh!"  Take another breath, but his fingers feel so soft.  I mean
they're big, and strong, but does he exfoliate, and soak them?  Does he
have nails?  "Oh!"  That was more of a moan, but yes.  I felt them, with my
fingertips.  'hhhhhHH!"  Lick the corner of my mouth, and let my head fall,
over to his chest.  "Hm, could you, say something?"  Before I pass out.

   "It helps." He nodded, "When you're aroused, does it help you climax?"

   "Thinking?"  I blinked across his chest, then started feeling up, but
got caught halfway in the curls all over his belly.  "Snh!"  His underarm,
"SNHHHHH!"  Hhuuuuuuuh!  I felt a little dizzy.

   "Fascinating."  I blinked, "Huh, never even heard of that kind of
sexuality."  Then they just kind of fluttered shut.  "You're anaylitical,
as a personality.  Not asexual, most of the Mentati I've met."

   "What?" shook my head.  "No," pressed his fingers with my thigh, "Don't
stop!"

   "Just trying to think up a proper term for it."  Oh yes, do.  "Huhuha,"
like a dry chuckle, I shivered again.  "Psychephilic, it's cerebral,
butthat just doesn't have the euphonic value I'd look for."

   "Huhuhuhn?"  Just nod, shake my head. 

   "The only other mental orgasms I know of are the Power Trip, and the
Mindfuck."

   "What's that?"

   "Which?"

   "Either."

   Not even caring what he's doing.  His fingers feel wet, but I am.  Hours
of it built up, he keeps slipping them back to dip more out when it starts
feeling tacky.  Don't know whether I'm hot or cold, sweating, and
shivering, goose bumps, but my face is burning, and my chest.  A part of me
still has to pay attention to breathing.  "Sp!"  Suck a little drool back
into the corner of my mouth.  Blink.

   Nipple.  Big black hard hairy nipple I have to scootch down to kiss, and
suck in.  "Mhm?" 

   "Well the Power Trip is like Domination.  Mostly abuse, but without
Empathy it's mostly limited to sexual sadists, and rapists."

   "HuhHhH!"  I nod, catch the nipple again, or find it by feel.  Ing
around for the wet hairs until I brush it. 

   "But you're like an assertive bottom?"  Maybe?  Huh!  "It's weird, but I
like it." He strokes my curls down over my shoulders, and I let him slip
out for a breath again.  I can breathe through my nose, but it's not
enough, I need to take a deep one now and again.

   "Huhhhhh!"

   "Mindfucks are like, PWH!  Mushroom cloud."

   "Eureka!"

   "Exactly, but they can be erotic and/or sexual as well."

   "Eurekarotic."  I blinked, he grinned.  Nodded.

   "Yeah, Eurek/erotic."  Looks up to tuck it away.  "You get the emotional
release with the climax?"

   "Nh!"  I didn't even see him look down.  "nH!" Squeezed tight when he
slipped into me.  Just fingers, but how many fingers?  "GAH!"  Such big
fingers, but not fucking me.  Just holding them still, stretch tight around
them, but spasming.  Trying to suck them in deeper, but I can't.  So, I
grab his knuckles and push.  "Ah!"  Yes?  "NhnnnnNNNNHHH?"

   Just relax, let the second one just carry me away.

   Yes.

   . . .

   Nappy {Mf IR...}

   "That's what they called me, the white kids in school.  I ate Leon too,
but my middle name's Tyrone, so;"

   "Yeah," she caught her breath.  Smoked one of my cigarettes out the
window.  Thumped it out, then moved down the bed.  "Keep talking."

   "Well," she fit it in her mouth.  "Huh!"  Well, the crown, but she knows
what to do with her hands, and the skin protected me from her teeth.  So, I
kept it up for her.

   "Rednecks," shrug, "Canadian ones, eh?  But the only other ones that
even came to Maple Bay were stopping on their way through, or tourists. 
We're it, and I stood out."

   "I'll say," licked a lot, all over before I realized she's getting it
wet.  I have lube, she's making more, but she also seems to like it, and
"Snh!"  My body hair.

   "I wasn't a late bloomer, but sexually repressed myself a lot, with some
internalized racism, and sexism.  My parents, well my father joked about
the Green Gang.  The army, or often the Marines, he was from a southern
ghetto, in Atlanta.  So, when he got married, and kids, he didn't want that
kind of life for me."

   "He sounds old, and wize."

   "Well yeah.  He was a career man, then he retired early, got married,
and had kids, when he was in his fifties.  Yes, they needed meds, and
artificial insemination, but I kinda sympathize with the black nerd.  I can
not really imagine, what it was like in that culture, but I've always been
the Alien.

   American, African, huh!  And Male."

   "You're like," she realized "Transexual?"

   "Well, I'm not going to get up, and put it together, but you remember
the shape?"

   She nodded, got up, but her leg over my midriff just slid over.  So, she
could settle her bottom over my hips, and run her fingers through my tummy
hairs.  Didn't make it to my pubes. 

   "Now, turn that shape inside out, then rotate 2 tetrahedra interlaced
together like a star of David around the Male/Female axis."

   She closed her eyes, nodded, then stopped.  Her head came up, then her
jaw dropped.  "Huh!"  She stopped moving.  Back and forth, getting me even
wetter up and down the underside.  "Hm!"  She bit both her lips.  "Pb!  So
it's complicated."

   Looked down, so I nodded.  "Very complicated," and rubbed her thighs up
to her lips.

   "No, I'm a top, but."  She stopped again to think,  "Huh!  I don't
know.  Jesus it felt like you just molested me, and that was the most
wonderful thing I ever felt."

   "Yeah," I nodded, and caught her eyes again, "But that's another axis,
and actually skew, with the gender role bias."  She closed her eyes again,
then nodded, and started frotting again, thoughtfully.  Chewed her lip. 
"So, Transgender, Gay, most of these are from the viewpoint of the
heteronormative substrate."  Didn't get her any more turned on, but she
might have plateaued.  "Men are in control, so that's depicted as a
maculine trait.  Just like skirts are considered feminine, because you
gotta protect the balls, but subconsciously leave the vulva available for
easy access."

   "Really?"

   "Yeah, there's also some micturation, and menarchal issues in there, but
those are the sexual aspects.  This is humanity, how we think, and how
cultures evolve from us lying to eachother."

   "Huh!"  And probably just about peaked with how much epiphany will get
her off.

   Agnes {Mf...  Coit}

   "Um," I looked around, "You have any rubbers?" 

   "Yeah," he turned his hip under me, pulled a bag out from under his
night stand, and unzipped a pocket.  Navy blue, full of soap, shampoo,
razors...{Navy Issue Dittybag.  + Condoms.)  A toiletry, shared bathroom. 
"Here,"

   [X/L] Torn between them.  I bet!  Didn't even look down, he just slipped
it on by feel.  Looking up at me, caught my eyes again. 

   "Well," I climbed back over his legs, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be." 
he held it for me, "Are you a bottom?"  Already told him I'm a top.

   "I" he shook his head, "I don't really play those games.  I'm into
equality, but with a size disparity like this, it turns out the queen's
position works best."

   I covered his mouth, or tried to, but he shut up.  I just decided to
concentrate on this.  I admit to having had larger things in me, but not a
bigger man.  I never thought, say that 2' double header was really ever
realistic, but while he had over half that in length, the thickness.  "Oh,"
I see.  "Yeah," I realized, "I can control the depth and penetration."

   "Mhm!" He just nodded under my fingetrips.

   "It stretches, of course.  But I found that the more I stretch out, the
shallower I get."  And.  "HhhhuhHuh!"  I had to stop.  "Uh!" feel for his
arms, "Can you hold me.  UP!?"

   I'm cervical.  Very cervical, not much of a clitoris, the vaginal
stretching, and fucking is great, but I prefer penetration to displacement,
and it feels like he's got a doorknob on the end.  I seriously doubt I took
half of it before bottoming out, and I just can't take my full body weight
on it.  "Mh!"  I nodded.

   "Also the timing, but relax, get comfortable."  Under my arms, but my
legs don't feel strong enough, so I just breathe for a while, and feel
that.  Pressure from my abdomen, use my abs to press down, and even tighten
my pelvic floor to relax.  It squishes, just the head isn't as hard as the
supporting tube of erectile tissue with a crack up the underside for the
urethra, but, "HahhHhuhuhUN!"

   I'm satisfied, I don't cum, spasm around him, but I even feel the skin,
through the thin stretched film of latex as I open up for my womb to take
him.

   "Huh!" His abs tighten, and jump.  I just put my hands down, lock my
elbows, and try not to tense as his spasms twitch the spongey head inside
me.  He has to hold me up, I'm not sure if I passed out, or for how long. 
Then, "Mh?"  I blink over at him.  Sideways on the small bed, he kisses me,
and rolls my curls over my hot neck, and shoulder with his hand until the
gooseflesh pops out again.

   He gets up, hanging like a tail, and peeks out the blackout curtains. 
"Is that tinfoil?"

   "I'm not paranoid," he let it fall back over the daylight.  Low, but
must be an east facing window.  I stretched, didn't pass out.  I fell
asleep, completely satisfied.  "It's cheaper than mylar," he shrugs, and
sits down on the corner.  I sit up, half naked.  He doesn't have a
roommate, or any room for one, nor does he even look.  "Huh!  it's for the
black curtains, so they don't heat up.  I don't have an air conditioner."

   "It's not very," I rubbed his arm, "Physical for you."

   "Intellectual," I guess he helped me discover my sexuality too, "But not
like you.  Huh!  I'm asexual, yeah I can do it sexually, but I really
rather enjoy the other intercourses.  Like talking, the way you and I do."

   "You do most of the talking."

   "Well, you listen."  He kissed me, "Ask questions, you understand, and
give as good as you get, but you're really a quiet person."  He moves his
hand, from my face, but his eyes, search it.  "What is it?"

   I bit my lip.  He just waits, patiently.  I look away, not that it's a
staring contest, but I have to.  To say: "I'm also in a kinda
relationship."

   "What kinda relationship?"

   "Open, he calls it Friends with Benefits?"

   "So a sexual relationship, but are you feeling conflicted between us, or
afraid he might be jealous?"  None of that from him, he just sincerely
wants to help.

   "Huh!" I got up, "It's really not that complicated.  I find sex
distracting, but sexual tension even more distracting, so when I get
horny.  I guess I found a guy I don't mind doing it with."

   "Because it's not emotionally distracting," he nodded.  Said something
last night about not wanting to have sex, but these things happen.

   "Well, and he's a bottom.  I don't mean analy, but a masochist."

   He just pulled on some shorts, then some pants and a shirt.  Just
hanging out, essentially ignoring the elephant in the room.  Not much room
either.  I turned around when he was dressed, he never looked down from my
face.  "So what's the conflict?"

   I was thinking about morning sex, but decided I was satisfied.  Not that
calling last night sex isn't ironically anti-climactic, that was SEX! 
Underlined, and circled a few times.  "Well, for one thing I'm not a
sadist."

   "Good."

   "You want to talk about your ex?"  You know, the one you never mention? 
Somebody severely abused him, I could tell.

   "No, but I really have to get to class, too.  So.  Not kicking you out,"
but he checked his watch, "But you're the one that called it a
distraction.  Tell you what," he picked up his phone, "You want to give me
your contact information?  I'll write it out, most probably better that way
than trying to tell you face to face."

   "Why?"

   He looked back.  Turned, looked me in the eye, and took a deep breath. 
"You remind me of her."  Then, I saw it.  The Fear in his eyes.

   So, I got dressed, went home, grabbed a change of clothes, and took them
to the showers.  God, I really wanted a bathtub.  They have hot tubs in the
athletic complex, but * it's not that early, and * it's not the same.  I
need Calgon to come take me away.  "Huh!"

   But I'm also stinking of stale sex, and the question really is for me. 
"What's the conflict?"  Neither of them can tell me that, I just need to
break it off.  As little there is to break off, but he was a convenience
lay.  He had needs, I have needs, but now I know he can't satisfy them. 
Not like that, it's not his size, or even how good he is in bed. 

   It's not even the sex, I just want to talk to him, for the rest of my
life.  "I'm sorry," I'll just have to tell him, "But I just met the love of
my life."  Nod, get out, an see if I have any douches left.  "I'm sure you
understand."

   [Agnes, {M/C Cybe Text Mono.  D/mort Rape Snuf Mnem Trig;}

   My ex is hard to explain.  I understand Her, but assume you have some
concept of the difference between BDSM play and Abuse.  There's a hard
line, that She systematically dragged over play until there was nothing
left but overlap.  Technically we're the same age, but she got a lot more
experience before I became aware.

   She escalates.  It's what she does, started with Rape/snuff, played the
victim to hide being a killer.  Literally, sexually motivated serial
murder.  She escalated from that.  Why I can't have any relationship other
than one of absolute Equality.  We'll have to work that out, friendship,
lovers, sexual partners;  Whatever, that's about the 3 axes I want to think
about, but nobody on top.  I can't do that, INS{I'm Not Sure} if I ever
want to.

   No pain, fear, violence, nor Shadenfreude.  I get my pleasure from
giving it, and even then, it's not for me.  Feedback, that's what I get
sexually, but when it goes both ways, I know you felt it last night.  That
is sex for me, and I don't have to tell you that it's hard for me to find. 
I hope that's not the basis of our relationship.

   There's also some unintentional covert incest in my family INS you want
to read about.  My father is like a living computer, or Mentat if you read
Dune, and my Mother is like Mother Nature.  Byegones, my childhood was more
like my father's.  Analytical, cause and effect, linear.  Then I was
sexualized by my mother, but the abuse was mental, not physical, nor even
all that emotional.

   If you're wondering about how that can happen, first I have to give you
a frame of reference.  My body happens to be male, I was born that way, but
masculinity and femininity are foreign concepts to me.  A lot of it is
arbitrary, for example you evolved with fur, then started skinning animals,
and making clothes;  So, what colors are feminine or masculine, who's
wearing the skirts now, why there's even a proverb about pants in the
family is all Man Made.

   So, that's the Gender Disphoria, I don't like what Man has done with the
place.  Unfortunately, if I want to get anything done, I have to be a man. 
Fighting the system is hard enough without a further handicap, but let me
be clear about this point:

   I am taking on the world.

   It's that important.  My ex will probably come after me, and my biggest
fear is for you.  That's just to start, and at this point I'm just a
college student taking a Doctorate in Liberal Physics.  Once I get known
for unifying that, and showing Our place in it, there's no telling what
kind of enemies will shake loose. 

   And all of that is before the Universe notices.]
Re: Agnes {f Mono Text}
[How fast do you type?  I swear I wasn't in the showers that long, and
you had to get to class?  it would take me several times the 20 minutes you
must have had to write that.  As you said, 'bygones.  I'm assume that's

short for LBbB.

   Wow, she really did a number on you, so I'll let you write what you're
willing to write about that, since you say you're more comfortable about it
that way.  I was never abused, but I looked up Covert Incest, and I guess
that's the part I can understand the best.  Another advantage to writing it
like this is I can do the research, and collect my thoughts before
replying. Not to mention going back over what you wrote.

   It sounds like sexual harassment, which I get, a lot.  One of my
favorite things about you is I get none of that creeper vibe off you, but
looking so young attracts a lot of the wrong kinds of guys.  I don't know
if you looked in my purse, or just got a real good look at my ID, but I
trust you.  I just met you, but I get the feeling that if you were going to
exploit me you would have already, and I almost took advantage of you.  I
guess we're both willing, but you didn't come off as the most willing.

   You said you don't want to rape me, which is logically exactly what a
rapist would say, but you weren't too careful.  I know, I'm a sex-addict,
wouldn't be surprised if you picked up on it, but I do have a knife, a
tazer, and NX spray in my purse for a reason.  {Fictional legal direct
nerve agent.  Technically sub-lethal, will stop a bear, or tiger.  Any
adverse reaction or complication has a high risk of permanent damage over
death.} As for taking on the world, can I help?  Or at least watch, sounds
like a good show.  Just Physics, or you taking on that clusterfuck of
sexuality you showed me a handful of facets of?

   Yeah, all my Gender Disphoria is Privilege, and maybe a little of your
eponymus Complex.  It sucks being a pretty little girl.  It sucked as a
child, and as an adult, the world just condescends you.  At first, I
thought it was great, all the attention I got covered up being a nerd, and
I didn't realize it was also negative attention.  I get that now, you stand
over here, and being attractive looks positive, but if you stand off to the
side, and look at it skew, it's also catcalls-to-unwanted sexual
advances-to-rape.  And I even had rape fantasies, they're like nightmares,
and I never knew why they aroused me.

   Sexually, it wasn't the fear, nor the predictable pain.  I tried it,
sadomasochistic boyfriends, it's not fun.  Okay, the top is fun, but I have
to admit that wasn't me either.  It's really just safer if you tie them
down, and hold the whip.  I don't play the victim, I never wanted to be
one, but like you said, "I'm not paranoid." Sounds like denial, but some
men really are out to get me, just beause of the way i look.  But, I guess
it fascinates me a little, because it's foreign, or alien.  That's
essentially the basis of any kink right?  Reversing something like gender
roles, and again it sucks to be the girl on the bottom.

   Or submitting, being hurt, shamed, whatever.  Slut shaming, can't
explain what that's like, but that goes back to the huMan cultural bias
that contradicts itself, whenever it's convenient to make the disparity
wider.  Yeah, Equality, or as close to that point as we can get.

   So, just picking 3 Axes helped me narrow down my identity.  Slut/Nerd. I
guess my promiscuity started off a coverup for being smart, then I kind of
switch sides to being so nerdy and modest nobody would believe the rumors.
I was smart about it, not getting any Veneral diseases, or impregnated, but
I'm really very compulsive about it.  Sometimes it's like, some of the
times I didn't get raped by not saying "No." If that makes any sense.

   But it stopped feeling like sex.  I hadn't enjoyed it in a long time. 
Except last night, that felt like having sex again, or I tell myself I
remember enjoying it that much.  I know, it's complicated, but thank you
for helping me figure it out.  ]

   "Hey," I looked up.  [Send] he could read it later, but he bent down,
and kissed me.  "You want to go talk?" Helped me up, but held onto my hand
while I got my things.  His phone buzzed.  "You're writing back all day?"

   "Off and on, I have 4 classes on wednesdays." He held up his hand,
"Five!?"

   "Yeah," he shrugged, "And no night class, so I got more time this
evening." Well, late afternoon.  "D'youeat?"

   I nodded, "Not drinking tonight." Shook my head.  Also a cheap date.  We
payed separately, but still.  Even before he mentioned Equality, he always
treated me as an equal.  "A peer," I hugged his arm.

   "Yes," he grinned, "That's what I prefer."

   "Not horny?" he shrugged, "Me neither."

   "You smoke?"

   "Not nicotine," but I like the smell.  Oh, and it's legal here now, but
not on campus.  So, he ran up to his place, and we went for a walk.  I
picked up his short.  Shrugged, "Hey man," couldn't smell him on it, "You
got a light?"

   "Got another cigarette?"

   "Just picked it off the street, man." He lit it anyway.  I held it in my
mouth, tasted it, and blew it out.  Still coughed, but now my jacket
smelled like smoke.  And Tide, I need to do some laundry, and get some
unscented detergent.  "Huh!"

   He came out, and I handed it back.

   He sniffed my hair.  "Did you shower?"

   "Yeah," just wrinsed my hair.  "Huh!" I hugged him.  "Missed you."

   "Just now?" he looked up.

   "All day," but a little just now.  I snuggled back in his jacket, then
we started walking.

   "Yeah, Bygones comes indirectly as fuck from Ally McBeal, never actually
watched it myself, but I believe it probably came from Let Byegones be
Byegones." I just like listening to him talk, his voice too, I guess he's
an even Baritone, but he just sounds intelligent.  Not even trying to, or
aknowledging it, but I'm used to being the smartest one in the room, and
now, I don't even feel like I have to be.  I'm satisfied with learning, and
I'm acting submissive.  I know that now, but I don't care, I just feel
lucky to be here, with him.

   We cut through some trees, and he handed me a joint.  Had one too.  "You
got a light?" He handed me the lit one, so I handed him the other, and told
him to save it.  Missed him lighting it.

   "You mind?" he stopped down, "Hang on a sec," and took off his shoes. 
"Huh!" didn't bend over, I missed it until he picked them up, with his
toes. Tied them together with his hands, and hung them around his neck. 
Then he rubbed one, put it down, and rubbed the other.  "Thanks," he took
the joint back, held it up, but I shook my head.  Already smoked like half
of it.  The wind whispered in the trees.

   "Yeah, I knew you're a sex-addict," he nodded.

   Okay, he went up 3 flights of stairs, and came back down, rolled 2
joints, and checkd his mail, in a couple minutes.  "How fast do you read?"

   ;) "All right, before the FAQs start to pile up, I have to tell you I'm
not just human, and hopefully leave it at that." I looked down, because he
wiggled his toes, and streched them.  "Huh!" Like Beast (First Class) they
weren't really that hairy.  "I know it's cliche', but I can't ethically
experiment on humans, so I work on myself."

   "Can I see?" I want to know how, but he just holds them up, and leans
back against a tree.  "Ape DNA?"

   "Okay, you can try to guess.  No."

   "But classified."

   "Not by the government, but if they did it, yeah it'd be Top Secret."

   "Primate." He nodded, "Protohuman then.  Neanderthal, Cro-magnan." Nod.
"Fossils?"

   "Yes, but don't even ask where I got them.  You'd need to know where to
look, and you really don't Need to Know where to look."

   "Gotcha," unbelievable, if he wasn't holding my hand.  It looks like a
foot, fits in a shoe, but the thumb is a thumb, not a toe.  "But you can
climb with them?"

   "Yeah, so can you, but I can't hang upside down." He looked up, "In
trees like this, it's more like traction than true brachiation."

   "Then why are you even in College?" I assume he can anti-age, or make
himself look younger too, but he's literally standing on the holy grail of
biotech, and just shrugs it off.

   "I have to get degrees for anyone to listen to me.  Yeah, I literally
know how to save the world, but the world doesn't want to listen to me. 
You don't want to know the truth, and honetly it's so complex, there's very
few of you that can comprehend very much of it.  But you," he rubbed my
hair on my shoulders, "Appear to be a lot more capable than most."

   "So you're an Alien." Literally, obviously that's about as legal a being
black in a BMW, or me walking home alone from a bar too drunk.

   "Yes, but I'm from here.  Earth, Made in America, mostly, but the thing
humans get most wrong about Evolution is talk about it in past tense.  Like
it's something you did, or it happened to you.  You're still evolving,
and/or devolving," I get it, "But you're also not alone."

   "So what are you?"

   "I can't tell you.  Seriously, historically Mankind is not ready to
know, but my job here and now is to nudge you a little closer, this
generation.  The trick is figuring out what you're ready for when, and how
to make you think you came up with it yourselves."

   "Are you immortal?"

   "I don't know." quick kiss, at random.

   "Can you tell me how old you are?"

   "Personally?" I nodded, fascinated.  "Almost 3 years old." I shook my
head in disbelief.  "Oh, not my body.  This isn't my body, just need
someone to live with.  I became aware 2 years, seven months, and a few days
ago."

   "And there's others."

   "At least 2 more, I know about."

   "Why's that bad?"

   "Because one's absolute evil, and the other's sadistic neutral." I tried
D&D enough to place the reference.  "How can Sadism be neutral?"

   "Depends on the point of view.  To the Universe He's neutral, his
victims never see it that way, but He doesn't literally get any pleasure
out of it, because It, technically is incapable of pleasure."

   "Oh,"

   "That's the Alien.  My mother and I are just hybrids with humans."

   "That's your ex?"

   "Yeah, our relationship has maternal, twin, and accidental experiment
gone right aspects to it, but I can't tell you, because there are no human
concepts for it." Sounds like there may be some Nemesis there as well.

   "Oh," One more question, "Why're you black, then?" Sounds like what he
called a "Handicap."

   "Huh!  Availability was an issue, but I can also do more things on the
surface, and cover it with the pigment.  Like your brown eyes, being
Scottish you have the green recessive, no sign of red in your hair, but
they're light brown, because that trumps it."

   "What do you hide in your skin?"

   He pulled out a cigarette, "Magic." cupped his hand around it, and
puffed until smoke popped out the corner of his mouth, "For lack of a
better word."

   Okay, "Why are you telling me this?" one more.

   "Because if you're going to hang around me, you'll probably need some
upgrades to survive."

   "You can evolve me too!" Okay, that's not even a question.  I just
kissed him, not to shut him up, but shut up so I could kiss him.

   "Huh!" He nodded, "Yes, but ethically I can't give you anything you
can't understand well enough to consent, and some of it's some pretty weird
stuff."

   "Like tech, or biotech?"

   "Like Cybernetics, Genetic Engineering, and Magic.  For lack of a better
word."

   "Okay!"

   "Oh, and you'll basically be like bait."

   "For what?"

   "I'm sorry, but you really look so much like Her, you'd be absolutely
irresistible if she sees you with me, and knows what I am."

   "So, tell me what I'm up against?  You have to at least do that."

   "I can do better," my phone buzzed, "I can let her."

  
[http://www1.asstr.org/files/Authors/Psiberzerker/NonCon/Antirape%20%7BfM%2
0Drug%20Rape%20Snuf%7D?nocache=YskiWxHyxuGTgWTWPFJN]
"Whenever you get the chance to read it." He didn't get out his phone.
He didn't touch it, I've never seen it, he had both hands on my shoulders,

and both feet on the ground.  Oh, and after that:"

  
[http://www1.asstr.org/files/Authors/Psiberzerker/VVL%20(Liggett)/Remodel%2
0(FM%20Rape).txt?nocache=rIlEaeHcVOVcGrcPWKEF]

   "Now," he turned me by the shoulder, "Let's talk about sex-addiction."

   "Huh!" yeah, we should probably do something about that.

   "Well, my sex-boyfriend was basically self medicating," I shrugged
against him, and took his arm.  "Huh!  Not even like every week, but if I
could call him, it kept me out of trouble, and could concentrate on my
grades."

   "Maintenance dose."

   "Yeah, methadone shot." By Injection.  "I'm really like a junky at this
point."

   "Well, you're not insatiable yet, but don't escalate.  Again, that's
what started making you insatiable, so it's not even fun any more."

   "How?" It's chronic, and progressive.  At least for me.

   "Well, patience, and taking it slow."

   "Like last night?"

   "Well, it won't be like last-night, every night.  Or even tonight, which
is why you don't build a tolerance and escalate.  But other than that, yes.
Take it slow the way we did last night, build up to something truly
satisfying, instead of snacking all day.  Does it help you sleep?"

   "It sure did last night," I doubt I ever slept like that.  "I didn't
even dream!"

   "You REMmed a lot, all night, but probably don't remember."

   "You watched me sleep all night?"

   "I don't sleep." He nodded, "I guess I could have done something else
without waking you up, but I didn't.  Does it make you uncomfortable?"

   "No," it should, "I know it should, that's like some Cullen/Grey
behaviour, but it actually makes me feel safe by now."

   He looked up, like scanning back and forth a second.  "Context on the
Cullen/Gray allusion, is that a psychological study?"

   "No," well, "I guess if you read it that way, it could be, but
originally intended to be romantic, and erotic.  Respectively?"

   "Oh," he got it, "Ahahahahahah!" Even slapped my back.

   {; Yeah I can go on.  Probably will, but I got my Emotional Release, for
now...}