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   Black Male

   {Language: This is about White/Male Privilege, so you'll have to deal
with some Ebonics.}

   Reas {MG Pros/Porn}

   "Hey mista." He stop, tryta hide the black plastic bag.  Like I done
know what it is, comin out tha back door of the porn shop.

   "Sorry," he look down, "Almost run into you." Unner he jacket, nice
jacket, look `spensive.

   "Done worrey," wave at it, "I seen lotsa porno, but they got the kindI
like."

   "How old're you?" he look around.  It an alley, but they got a camera up
ova the corna.  Righ unner it, so it can't see.

   "Therteen?" Truth!  "You wanna talk about it, or you gonna make me wait
anotha 5 mo yea's?"

   "The door's locked."

   "Then go `round front," roll my eyes, "Here the money." $20.00 "Bondage,
the storey books.  3 pack if'n they gottem." Can't wait to be old enough to
go in, maybe finda producer, get discovered.  Work legit.

   It ain't prositution, but solicitatin.  An i's a crime cuz I'ma mina. 
He hurrey back, done even tell him.  "You into," he pult it out, but the
top one's Mandom.  "This?" They's alway lesbo stuff in there, alway.  A
least bi.

   "I guess," giggle, "I neva try it, wit a" white "Man afore." Shake he
hand, "I's Reas," squeeze an hold it.

   "Reece?" He shake he head, but keep a hold my hand.

   "R, E, A, S." I's short fo Reason, but he done need ta know dat.  I done
need he name.  "You gotta car?" Chuck my head.  "Might wanna make our
gettaway, some time fo the cops show up."

   Down the side alley, it T up, but I done this, a buncha times.  He the
fust aint run off, yet.  Leave me wit dis porn, like I need it.

   But he a man, about it.  Not to old, or fat, he gotta dick.  Gotta stick
it in somebody some time.  Why he jerkin off to store-porn anyway?  Ain't
gotta intanet at yo house?  Yo white house?  I live in a Project, what yo
excuse?  Ain't much access in Kate Ross, it ain' a hot-spot, like
Starbucks.

   "Yeh," hop in.  Just gotta get warmed up.  Done wanna be to tight, when
we get down ta bidness.  But he vulnerbul.  Done even know it, but it sexy.
Done even matter what they look like.  White, dey got mo money, an some
them like my dark skin an curly hair.

   "You like bondage?" Unzip my backpack to slip the black plastic bag in.

   "Eva been tiet up?" Answer a question with a question.  What else she
say?  "Or try tyin yoself up?" Fantasy, thas how you do it, fine out they
fantasy, and get in it.

   "Where can I drop you?" he pull up at a light, "I gotta get back, I'm on
break."

   "Haha!" Shake my head, "You wanna work, or go fuck?" Same to me. 
"Anybody back at yo place?" The light changed, but he know the way.  I
guess, there some control, sykobabble bullshit, but I like it.  Too.  "I
gotta call the shots.  Why I gotta tye you down, If'n you wanna do bondage.
Fo my safety." Can't get raped, again.

   "I've never been with a girl," surpris me, "Like you." He can admi it,
even if he thot to cover it up.

   "I bet," can't be to many.  I mean, I learnt from somebody, course, but
she white too.  "My age?  Black?  Assertive?"

   "A prostitute," he nod, "What's Assertive?"

   "You know, bossy.  A top."

   "Oh." He think, "That what you're into?"

   "Your money," I shrug, "Just tell me how much I charge you."

   "Bondage extra?"

   "Yeh," should give him a discount.  Much easier if they can't fight.  He
done look like the type, but they done neither.  Some done even know, till
they lose it.  That what she say, like, what she call them thatches. 
Reassurance ones.  Yeh, they think they in love, till she say no.  "Usely,
but if you wanna try it." Might be a good hook, bondage discount, for my
safety.

   "How much?"

   "How much you got?"

   "Uh," he think, "I don't get paid until Friday."

   "Fity?"

   "Dollars?"

   "Nigga, what you get fo fity cent?  Damn!"

   "Yeah," he nods, "I got fifty bucks."

   "Good." Think, "You eva been raped?" triggers, "Molestet, any abuse,
speshly sexual?"

   "Uh uh?"

   "Mhm?" Right, but then mens done admit it.

   "Why?"

   "Is like PTSD, why I bet more wimin then soljas get it.  I wanna show
you a good time, getcher money worth, right?  Well, that ain't happning wit
you all flashin back, so anythin I nedta know about?"

   "Nah," he smiled, "I'm good."

   "Mhm?"

   `Dre {MGt Rape Pros}

   `Toine came back fo the rest of her thins, an brought her boyfrien'. 
"Andre, right?"

   He touched my arm, "Delante?" I heard he's a faggot, didn't believe it.
14, 15, tall but skinny.

   "CanI show you somethin'?" Lil ray dug around in the closet, hummin to
herself, so I follow him back to the boy's room.  "Got any kiddy porn?" I
closed the door.  "No?" look back, "Why wouldja say dat?"

   "Rashawn," he shrugged, "He won't play wit me, cuz heaint gay, but he
toled me.  `bout tha pictas.  I know he ain't sposta say, but I got it
outta him."

   "Huh!" ain't expectin dis.

   Look around at Treasure's crib, "Dey in heah?" Look back at the corna.
"Hava seat," he pat the bed, "I ain't gonna hurt you.  We don't need
pictas, anyhow.  If'n I aint to old, I done like little boys, neitha."

   "You're a;"

   "Be nice, now." He spread his legs, "I gotta get in tha mood." Skinny
little legs, "You can touch me," long, thow.  "If you like."

   "Hhuhuh!" I set own.

   "Youa soldja, right?" Nod, feeling his pantleg.

   "Yessir," pull off my shirt, "In tha Marines." Show him the tattoo.

   He feel my nipple, "ooh!" kiss it, "Well, if'n you gonna join a gang,
that a good'un."

   "My Tank rolled," I'member, "Why I'm out.  On dissability?"

   "Your back," he rubbed my shoulder, "Let me know if'n it start ta hurt."
suckin on my nipple now.

   "Tryin ta get offa tha pain killas." Is lika dream, "Uh, that feel
nice!"

   Down low, right over the backa my belt.  "Keni go lower?" He kissed me,
and slipped his fingers behind my belt.  "Hm!" In my mouth.

   Yeh.

   "Della." {t/M Transdom Rape Fant.}

   I can drive!  Neva done afore, but now.  I know whata say.  "You wan me
call you daddy?" The fantasy, a boy lovin him back, as sick'n dirty's him.
Even if'n I to old, an I gotta go back to drag.  I hate this fabric, an now
even the pockets' annoyin.  The way it cut and sowed, the hem around my
thighs, I had to get them off.

   But him, the boy of his dreams, I bet I kin do that.  Jus a little more
growed up.  "Treasure," we usta fucked up names, but who name he son
Treasure?  What kinda man?  I know that kinda man, an he ain't gonna bea
baby foeva.

   Jus gotta know the fantasy, Raya say, an she got it from Rashawn.  Neva
touch her, or Sawnelle.  Wish I could wear my draws at least, but it ain't
he fantasy.

   I giggled, "That tickles!" And they all at `pointments, so he all alone.

   Watch it, lika porno.  "Yeah," [Ebony Twink Loves Daddy's BBC!] "You
likeat?"

   "I's pretty big," He pult down the skin.  "KenI suck yo cock?" I ain't
seen enough outta porno to tell you if he big, but tha's what you say. 
"Please?" I guess somea that in there.  Little boys, neva seen so much
cock, an make it look even bigga.  "Nlah!" slap it on my tongue.  He done
gotta ansa, onea them questions.

   "Uh!" Grhl!  "Huh!" He pet down my hair.  It feel funny to, weird
without the Relaxa.  {Fictional trademark.  Okay, a different Product, for
hair instead of Stool.} Dolla store knockov anyway, like "Pampas" even if
they Luvz.  {Used without permission.}

   "Boy, youa Freak!"

   "KAH!" Gasp, and lick my lips.  "Huh!  Done call me dat." He make a
face. "Aright?"

   "Nh!" he wince.

   "Undastand?" He nod.  "Good, haHLWM!"

   "Uh!" He try to push me down, so I give him a little teeph.  "Ah!" He
let go.  Pain compliance, done make me hercha.

   "Sph!" Rite on he nuts.  It lika nest, mos pedos shave done they?  I
heard, but he my first, so I shrug, and suck the otha one in.

   "Yeh," he rub on my sholdas, done want me bitin, not dere.  Believe dat!


   "See?" rub it in slick wit my hands, "I ain't no boy." Make it the best
he eva had, "why `shawn done know howta dodat, he ain't gay, an he aint
reddy fo sex.  KenI kiss yo ass?"

   Suprize him.  "Uh huh?"

   "Here," Get up, "Turn ova." Alreddy lay back on the bed, dirty fuckin
floor, with they toys, and guns an shit.  Boy toys, giggle a little.  "You
done this afore?"

   "Yeh," he head sideway on he arms.  Just rub he butt, spread em, and
bent ova to get a good look fust.

   "Snh!" I's so nasty, "SnhhhHHH!" I heard, he kiss Rashawn ass, but he
little.  Ain't got no hairs on it, but, damn.  I's so nasty, I shouldn't
even wanna, but I can't help it.

   "Aw, shit!"

   "Mhm?" Nod, but I can't say nothin.  Even the little naps of he hairs on
my chin.  Pull he dick back, like a Zooporn dog, and giggle again.  He
furrry!  Done gotta be he fantasy, I guess.  "PTWH!" It twich, and suck
some it in.  "Huh!" Cach my breaph.  "KenI fuck you?"

   "Uh!" I let it go, slap the bed, an it one them little boy matress, with
the wires all in it, and the box-spring.  "Yeh."

   Frot him first, all wet an slimey an nasty.  Damn, I hard!  "HUH!" The
bed springs twang a little.  But jus right up he crack, my nuts hit he, but
not that hard.  It done hurt.

   "Yeh!" Shawn say he hump he butt, or make him sqeeze it between he legs.
He legs hairy thow, but I bend my kness, set them on the board on the side
of the bed, and roll my hips up.  To the tip, right on he wet nappy nasty
fuckin asshole.  "Huh!  Yeh!" He want it, so bad he almos beggin fo it, so
I leaned ova.  Holdin he butt open, so I gotta go by feel, but I done this.
We practice.  "Uhhhhn!"

   Jus the tip, but the skin roll back, an I feel he cervix tight.  Pushin
in, so the skin pull out, till it can't no more, and he start relaxin. 
"Yehhhh," on he ear, "You done this afore."

   "AH'n!" He hole he breaph, but it pop out, roll down like a donut, an I
sink in to the hips.  "ahhhhH!" Like a girl.

   "Yeh," he tenses, but I just rub over the slap.  "Bitch."

   "Nhm!" He bite he lips, but I don pullin out.  Nice an slow.  "AUH!"
Stab in, and pull out.  Sloowwwllllly.  "Hahuhuhuh!" Shudder in a breath.
"AUH!"

   Slap he ass wit my hips.  Hard, spank he boy fuckin ass.  "Yeh!" He
clench, can't help it.  I ain't makin love here, I gotta show him.  How it
feel to be a victim.  Not a bottom, he say yes, but sometime, yes mean no.
If'n you done know, what I'm askin.  "YEH!" Can I rape you?

   "Nh!" A tear squeeze out.

   "Uh!" an dere it is.  "Huh!"

   .

   .

   .

   Ra'Toine {G/M Pros Domm Musi.  Note: The Soundtrack is a study in
Cultural Appropriation, just another form of covert racism.  (And
sexism...) White isn't a color, it's All of the colors.}

   "Nice place." Like the car, beat up hatchback, a Hyunday.  Better'n
mine, like a stack of 3 duplexes, otha sidea Bayla.  Downstairs, right in
fronta parkin space, like a Motel.  Shake that outta my head.

   Get out my phone, "You loud?" right in the door.  Done wanna flash it
out in diss hood, little girl, wit a smart phone.  Mightaswell stick a Bill
{That's $100.00} to my fohead.  No neighbas, lookin out, but we get in
soon's he unlock the dow.

   "Huh?"

   "When yo fuck, I gotta gag you?" Lesse, [Maroon 5 - Harder to Breathe
(Songs about Jane.)] "Thata Playbox?" V

   V

   V

   "III" he nod.  Pull out my USB-to-Micro-USB Adapta.  [Portishead - Only
You (Dummy)]

   "Dere," set it down.  Jerky, which I like.  He done follow me, just my
hips.  The skirt sway, brushing my legs, stopping with a skip, scratch
back, afore she start singin.  "Sit, Down." He does, immediately.  "Huh!"
Grab he mouph.

   "Mm, Mm." Shake he head.  "Say it."

   "Mmhm?" Shake it slowly.

   "Not Uh uh, nor Mhm.  Mm.  Mm." Just like Public Discrace.  (Kink.Com.)
"That make it stop.  I done wanna hear nothin else from you.  Got it?"

   "Mhm?"

   "Mm." Nod him again.  "Mm mean yes.  Mm.  Mm.  mean Stop."

   "Mm."

   "Then it ova," I let go, went back to the striptease.  What $50 getcha
nowaday, but it like he car, he place.  We make do, it ain't no penthouse,
so I can't do Penthouse rates.  What that, $5,000.00?  Wish I can make that
kinda money, but that fo.  The Man.  He can afford dat.  Mister here, maybe
on Friday, Payday.  I doubt it.

   "It get to intens', I stop, we talk about it."

   "It's only yooo!"

   "Sh!" don't talk to the hand.  "Relax, done move." Keep my hips goin,
slipping my tights down unner my skirt.  "You ain't gotta do nothin."
Scooch back inta my panties, but kick off my shoes, and put my foot up on
the table.  To slide them down, slip my toe out the cuff, and step back to
put my otha leg up.  "I get you off, fust.  Alway." Or he done pay, but I
done tell them that.

   Yeh, I can strip.  Ina notha 5 years, or maybe 8, atta bar.

   ;/}



   Mommy's little whore (Mg IR Mole Rape Pros)

   "Hello?" momma boyfriend.

   Pick at my hair.  "Wut?" I don't know he name cuz they always go out,
but I seen him, come pick her up.

   "Is your mother home?" I shook my head.

   "She out," I yawned, "Workin'." It late.

   "Well," he look around, "I think I left something inside."

   "When?" He alway just pick her up.

   "When you were in school," oh, "You think I can come in, and look around
for it?"

   "Okay?" I guess she just done let them in when I's around.  So, I close
the door, and drop the chain.

   "Thanks," he look around.

   "Don't steel nothing." I'm watching him.

   But he laugh, "All right."

   "That my room," so he let go the nob, and go back to momma's.  "You a
lie!" If he been in here, he know that, "Git out." Then he grab me, an
cover my mouth.  I try to scream, but he just hold it in.

   "Your very pretty," he feel on my belly, "Even prettier then your mom.
You know that?" I shook my head, squeeze my eyes shut.  "Anyone tell you
that before?  I bet you'd make good money.  Your mommy ever tell you, what
she does for money?  I'm not her boyfriend, I'm like her boss, and she'll
do anything for enough money.  So, you wanna make some money?" Why he keep
saying that?  Money, money, money over and over.  I shook my head.

   "M!" he felt down, between my legs.

   "Yeah," he pushed my underwear in, "Tight little nigger." Oh yeah, he
white.  "You a virgin?  You ever fuck before?  Cause that's extra."

   "I done wanchu money!" I tried to push him back, "Gitoff me!" But he too
big.  "Ah!" He slapped me.

   "Shut thefuck up!" I fell, and start cryin.  "Watch your fucking dirty
mouth, you slut!" He pulled open his pants, "Here," pulled it out, "This'll
shut you up."

   "No!" he grabbed my hair.

   "Suck it," I turn my head, "Suck on it little nigger, yeah, open wide
and suck it." He smelled.  "Unless, you'd rather fuck.  That what you want,
bitch?"

   "No!" I push him back.

   "Then suck it." He taste nasty, but I figger if I suck it off, he leave
me alone.  "Yeah," he stick it all the way in, till I choke.

   "Ghl!" I feel like to throw up, but he don't let go.  "Khag!" I just
cough, and cry harder.  "Ahn!" he spank me, and pull down my tights.  "No,
stop!" He said, but he a lie.  "AUH!" It hurt, just he fingers, but he held
my mouth again, and he hand was all slippery with my spit.

   "Tight little nigger.  You want it up yo ass?"

   "Nhm!" We dont even talk likeat.

   "Bend over, and take it.  I'll make it up to you." I don't wanna, but he
aint gonna quit.  Not till he get off, but I ain't takin it up the ass.  No
sir, not me, not today.  So, I let him.  Fightin just make him hurt me
worst.  I tryna think, but what can I do?  "Yeah," he rub it in, "That's a
good little whore."

   "NMH!" He pull on my mouth tight.  "MRHEEEEE!" God damn that hurt.  And
he don't stop, just stabin into me.  I wish I can loosen up, or get wet, or
something, but he jus keep on too quick to do nothing but scream, and cry.
Right there, on the floor, in the hall, I hate this carpet barefoot, but
now it scrapin on my face, and my belly when my shirt ride up.  But inside,
god it hurt so much inside, and how long it take to get off, anyway?  Ain't
white boys spose to be little?  I heard that, at school, but he so big, it
hurt, and I feel myself tearing open, and it take forever.

   "Uh!" he stop, "Nuh, uh!" Gruntin, and I hope he nut.

   "Huh!" he get soft, and slip out.  "Uh wuhuhuhuh!" I just curl up,
cryin. He feel on my butt, all over my butt, but I can't.  I just wanna run
away, in the kitchen, grab a knife from the drawer, but I can't even kick
him.

   "Looks like your period came early." I'm to weak.  I can't even move,
just keep crying when he kissed it, but it don't feel no better. 
"Hlalaulaow!" All up in there, but at least it wet, and don't hurt to much.
"You like that?"

   "No!" finely, I can kick him, but he get mad.

   "Ungrateful bitch!" Hit me again, and pick me up.  He open my door, and
push me down on `Shawn bed.

   "Ah!" he fingers again, "AeiimmmmmhH!" he push my face down in the
covers, and keep stabbin them in me.  He left before my momma come home
from work.  She get drop off, and I gotta tell her why I'm cryin, cause I's
bleeding, and I gotta go to the hospital agin.  She tookt the twenny, but
ain't go out wit him again.

   An I never thought about it, what my momma done for work afore.  She
never talk about it, just get dressed up, and do her hair.  Then she go
out, and we get money.  Take me out to eat.  Not ever night, but I gues
they gotta work to.  Mosly on the weekends, I done member if that's a
school night.  It was years ago.

   It wern't my first time, I done member my first time.

   ;

   "Docta Reece." {Gmmm NS}

   "Fuck," bullies.

   "What're yeuw doin' here?" 3 of them, look high-school.

   Nice neigborhood.  "Nothin?" Illegal, honest.  Unfortunately, they
blockin the gate, an my bike.  Not like chainlink, aint no pitbulls, or
nothin, like I said, nice neighborhood.  Where the money at, unfortunately
I don't "Fit in."

   "Well, your kind ain't spoda be here." They laugh.  Yeh, I can hop the
fence like nothin.  But they like playin goaly, an I just spent $200.00 on
that bike.

   "Who's bike is this?" Besides, they jus gotta run like 10 feet, while I
climb ova tha corna.  Between them, they can cova he gate, an both ens,
lessen I risk they neiyba's yard.

   "Mines." I can't pull on them neitha.  There just 3 of them, and I got 5
shot of .357.  Well .38s, but wadcuttas.  Ain't the point, I ain't about to
call the cops, neitha.

   "Get off my porch," wait, "Monkey." Jr?  "You trina break in?" Now I
recognise him, witout my glasses, from the picures.  In the hall, he kinda
look like he daddy, too.  My fault for just sitten on the stoop, like it
ain't nothin.  Stupid, Ra'Toine, real stupid.

   "You daddy," grab my backpack.  "He fuck wit you too?"

   "Yo momma!" He thinks we talkin shit, still.  "She, uh.  A whore."

   "Yeah?" Sling it on, now we communicatin.  "Me to, you akst what I doin
in yo yard, right?"

   "Shut up!" Cleva!

   "So, he fuck wit you, o just yo sistas?"

   "Nu uh?" He look at he friends.

   "I seen tha pictures.  He show you dem to?" Phone already out.  "Heah."
Turnt it around.  "I'm heah to fuck yo daddy so he don't fuck wit Karen."
He pass out, and left he computer on, so I can get some insurance.  "Yew
seen that scar afo?" On he belly, above the belt, I think it was apendix o
somethin, but he know he daddy, and he sista face.  "Yew gone start cryin?"

   I put it back in my pocket, pick up my bike, turnt around, and rolled it
back to the porch.  The gate squeeked behind me.  I done even look back,
just drop the bike, and walk up the stairs.  "You wanna talk about it, in
fronna yo friend?"

   "Uh?" Yeah, he cryin.  Turn around.  "Come heah."

   "Don't touch me, Nh!"

   "Is aright," grab he neck anyways, and sit down on the rocka.

   "You're rally a hooker?" he friend, the one what follow him.

   "Sex therapist, but Junior here need me right now.  So, eitha leave, or
siddown, an shut-up." Pat he hair.  Right nexta the rocka, I hold it still,
and set my bag down.  Done wanna roll ova he fingas, I take it outta he
daddy anyways.  Might lose him, as a client.  If he son tell, o get him
arrestet, but I know what it like.  Fo Karen, and huh brotha.  Or growin up
wit so many kids an no daddy.  O all them "Daddys" each one worse an worst
as momma get mo desprite.

   Shit, now I cryin.

   Dese white boy.  Think it all about cullah.  White ain't aint even a
culla, it All de cullas.  Think about dat, a minit.  He daddy, he call me
nigga to.  Who you think he learnt it from?

   ;

   Ratoine {Gg NS}

   I set down, spread out my skirt, an unwrap the sammich.  I'spensive, but
gotta keep my strength up.  I get all full, so I rap up the rest an get out
the makeup.  New, I folt up the receet, an fly it away.  Gonna litter,
might `swell get creative.  Hot pink, to set offa the Jersey.  Maroon, I
ain't a aggy, but it set off the culla of my arms.

   Use the mirra in the toppa the case with the little brush.  I gotta
learn this, an maybe it help Delante.  I think he skrate, kinna, when he a
boy he wannabe a lesbo, but now he a girl she like a fag.  I's confusin,
that gay, or skrate?

   "Hey," she run up, "Your daddy let you wear makeup?" Too, I guess.

   Shrug, "Kent stop me." He in jail agin, and momma ain't got anotha man
yet, thet stay.  White, kicks like tennis, or socker steada basketball. 
Money, more like the girls at that Charta Magnet then th' othas.

   "How old're you?"

   "10?"

   "Metoo!" Lucky guess, barely poppin out her shirt.  Tight, short,
screamin `Touch me!' Money.

   "You know how ta do dis?" Hand her the case, fo my eyes, an cap the
lipstick.

   "Wow," she look, "I kent wear any of this." There some bright ornge in
there, for Delly to.  I close my eyes, and look up.  "You got fantastic
bone-structure."

   "Thenks," I guess.

   "Your cheekbones," she brush them, "Got any foundation?" She pull back
the brush.

   So, "Ain't got my cullah." shake my head.  Privlege `bout what you do
wit it, if you check that shit.  The breeze gust up, so she brush a little
kerl out her eyes.  They blue, but she wore yella on her lids.  "You bi?"
She already lookat my eyes.

   "Buy what?" look down, but don't do nothin wit the makeup.

   "Bisexual," she blush.  Fo real, unner all that, foundation she call it.
"Take one ta know one." Let it show.  "I ain't neva been wit a white girl
afor." She set down the brush, "I think it when you touch my face." It hot,
but ain't that hot.  I feelin it.

   "You know Britney Griner?" She play fo Bayla.

   "Neva met huh." she ain't from my hood, "But I seen her."

   "Yeah," she bit her lip, "Like her."

   "She gay," I think.

   "I mean," her curls shake, "I like her." Like LIKE huh.

   "Yeh," she awesome.

   It feel greasy.  "You'll smudge it!"

   "Got any money?" she shake her head more.  "The mall right dere."

   ;

   `Stacy (Gg NS)

   Wow.  I mean, I never, but she's black.  Tall black, like a baskeball
player.  For our age, she's almost, like grown up, though she's not.  Any
more developed that I can tell.  No bra strap in the side of her A&M
tank-top, but she knows the color wheel, I think.  Not my colors, I look
better in blues.  Like my eyes, only darker, and they contrast with my
hair.

   While she's more, I don't know.  I can just see that blacks can wear,
like Fuscia, and dayglow, or, Neon colors.  I wouldn't even think of trying
that lipstick.  But she didn't know how to blot, so I showed her on one of
the napkins from her Subway bag.

   "Uwa peach?" she took down a rouge from the peg.  "Yeh, I know th'
cullah wheel." I guess they teach that at her school too, "I jus kent get
puttin it on."

   I shook my head, "Blue, and gold," like my top, and skirt.  She put it
in her pocket anyway, so I looked around.  She's smart, I can tell, just
hides it well.  "Word!" You can see it, when she pulls out her glasses to
squint at a label.  And drop another bottle in her purse.  Next to me, so
the guy can't see in his blue Eckerd's vest.

   She laughed, "Done even triet.  Seriously, onna clear day I can see yo
white ass from the surface of the sun!" See?  I laughed too, but the guy
came around the aisle, watching us, acting like he's fixing stuff on the
shelves.  Or her, she's black, so obviously came in here to steal.

   "I just, pick up stuff, from talking.  It ain't like, Cultural
Appropriation." I handed her the money.

   "Was `at?"

   "You know, Privilege?"

   "Mhm?" She puckered, like she was going to kiss me, I just blinked.

   "Uh?" shake my head, "Well, it's like that lady at the reservation. 
`I'm a quarter Cherokee, my grandmother was Cherokee'!" She fowned, "Well,
that's what they say, they all say Cherokee, like that's the whitest
tribe."

   "So," she nodded, "Like you sayin' `Word,' or them Crappas."

   I'm sorry, "Crappers?" Shake my head.

   "Yeh," she laughed, "That what I call dem, cracka rappers, like Eminem
an them?" I laughed too.

   "That's just not my culture."

   "It ain't nobody `Culture'." She got upset.  "Black hystrey month,
right? You know why they aint a white hystrey month?  There's twelve of
them.  Black hystrey ain't African hystrey.  You English?"

   "Uh," look around, "Swedish?" I think.

   "You eva notice we got Irish Americans, Italian Americans, African
Americans, Asian Americans?  African ain't a culture, it's a Continent. 
They teach you about Hapshetzut in that white school of yours?"

   "Who?"

   "Queen of de Nile.  No, they teach you Cleopatra, because she's Roman.
Shakespear made a play, but you hearda Nefertiti, right?  Yeh, cause she
pretty, she merry huh brotha Toot, an you can't even say that right.  That
just 1 corner of Africa.  The rich one, they got a lotta gold.  You know
the Aztex?"

   "Isn't that south America?"

   "Exactly, but they had Gold, and Pyramids too.  You hearda the
Mississippi?"

   "The river?"

   "Yeh, the people gone.  They had pyramids too, here." On the Brazos "All
the way to Georgia, till the Spanish Americans come, and decide dey want
dat river.  They burn everthing, there writing, level they pyramids, all
that left is the name of the river they wuz lucky enough ta live on.  At
least you know Cherokee a tribe.  I got no idea whetha I should be speaking
Zulu, Bantu, o Swahili.  Why?  because I's American.  All the African get
whitewashed off."

   "Let's go cash out," I look back, "before he calls the cops, or
something."

   "You sayed Cultural Appropriation, right?" I nodded, "Well, dey Gave us
this culture.  Jus like the Reservations, and Concenration Camps.  Kwanzaa
is fucking Channukah." Indians don't even get a month.  They get a football
mascott.  "How you gethis off?"

   I stop by the endcap, "Cold-cream," I take a jar of Noxema, and she
swiped one of Vaseline before he followed us around.  All of a sudden
intensely aware of the makeup on my face.  "I don't try to sound black,"
they don't have her color.  "I just pick up, idioms, and such."

   "I's aite," she shrugs, "You done undastand, so I show ya." Smudges the
blush even more.  "You horney too?"

   The guy looks up from scanning the stuff we're paying for.  I jump at
her hand, brushing my skirt.  "Yeh." I mean, "Yeah."

   "Lez get outta here, den." She pays, and we giggle on the way out.

   "I've been with girls before." I admit, "Well, and a guy, my boyfriend's
into group sex."

   "Mhm?" I think that's the sarcastic one.  "He a guy.  You been wit 2
guy?"

   "Well," not as such, "No.  We're Mormon." I mention.

   "Huh!" she rolled her eyes, "You know da werds, but uwaint e'en got the
conceps yet." Folds up her glasses, they don't look right, like they fit
her, at all.  "Y'a 3sum 2 gerl ana guy?"

   "Uh?"

   "Y'a marrage one guy ana Harem?"

   "We don't do that any more." Since all that up at Mt.  Charmell.

   "But you did." That a question?  "My point id, He set it up like at.  De
Man, you know hem, I can see it in yo outfit."

   "What's wrong," I hold up the front of my skirt, "Wit..."

   "How old yew, really?"

   "13?"

   "Thata question?  Why you say 10 afore, mos girls wanna be olda."

   "So?" I'm just not ready to grow up yet.  Thank god we got to the bike
rack, so I could busy myself with the lock.

   "You got this," looks up and down, "all Micky Mouse club look goin on.
Schoolgerl."

   "I am a schoolgirl?"

   "Yeh, but notty schoolgerl, yo boyfrien dress you up like at?"

   "No?"

   "You got money fo close thet fit, so why you wea that tight little top,
an trainin bra?"

   "It's summer?"

   "Mhm?" She takes the bike, "Ain't just showin yo belly button."

   "Are you," shake my head, "Slut shaming me?"

   She laughs, "Nah.  Seriously, Ima ho," she just said it, like that. 
"but why you dress likeat?  It ain't fo you, so who?" I shrug, look away.
"Take the seat, an hang on." No fender, or even pegs.  "Put yo feet up, on
the frame."

   "The chain," I look down.  So, I wound up side-saddle, so the pedal
didn't hit my ankles.

   "I done know the way, so steer fo me."

   "Aright," we had to go around.  Up over the wall of garden bricks,
turned rough side out so you could climb it up to the fence, but not with a
bike.  I put my hands up on her shoulders, they felt hot, and bouced from
her legs on the pedals.  And her skirt, flopping over her dark legs, and
big hard looking butt.  "Huh!" Yeah, I'm not even sure I'm all that bi any
more, but I like her.  And I never felt so horny before.

   "Huh!" she stopped cranking, "Uh!" let go the handlebar to wipe her
face, and we coasted down the hill.  I tapped her shoulder, so she leaned
into the turn, so I leaned back so as not to fall off.  To the ramp, she
takes the sidewalk, they'll hit you if you're not careful.

   "Right here," she skidded up next to the mailboxes, and caught me before
I fell, but dropped the bike.

   "Thanks," I looked up at her panting.  Her big dark eyes, and I
remembered to breathe.

   "You gonna leave that dere?" She chucked her head at the bike.

   "Always do," I dug under all the makeup in my purse for the keys. 
Unlocked our mailbox.  "It's open." Over at the apartment.

   "Nice neighborhood."

   I looked around, "Not really, we used to have a house."

   She laughed, "You eva been ta Kate Ross?"

   "What's that?"

   "Where I live, we lock everthin up, got bars on all th' window, an they
still break in.  This a fuckin' palace." She judges me, I never judged her.
"You know wher Ghetto come from?"

   "I'm white, but not racist."

   "It's German." Her accent came back.  "That's not the point, you ain't
gotta be racists, you just got to enjoy bein' white, take it for grantet.
Turn a blind eye on the ghetto, so it all white." It's weird, most people's
slip when they get upset, but when she get's all, lectury?  She even said
"Krystalnacht," didn't even put her glasses back on.  "White ain't a color,
it's All the colors." That's cultural appropriation.  "Yew folks home?" I
shook my head,

   "No," She frowns at my face, "My folks," try not to cry, "Died."

   "I'm sorrey," I sniff, "Who you live wit, den?"

   "Car accident," I shrug, "but, my uncle, he took me in."

   "Mhm?" She looks around, from the couch.  Arms up on the back, skirt
hanging between her legs, almost like a guy.  "You in therapey?"

   "Greif counciling," I turned to the refrigerator.  There's kind of a
dining room, but he had the couch out there.  Called the living room a
`Den.' "You thirsty, at all?"

   "Yeh," she chucked her head, "I'll have a beer." She stuck the top in
her forearm to twist it off.  "Yew stink of victum, sweat it out."
Shrugged, "Take one to know one."

   She held me, while I told her about it.  And cried.

   "Lucky" {Gg/M Ince Gdom Rape.  Seriously, trigger warnings for anyone,
victim or abuser.}

   Music, "`Stacy?" I thought I was the luckiest guy ever when she came to
live with me.  Not my kind of music, but I like it.

   {M.I.A.  - Bad Girls}

   Drop my pants in the hall, and kick it in my room, then knock on the
door.

   "Hey," I stop at the door, holding it.  Open, but she's not alone. 
Looked over at the black girl, still dancing, wearing nothing but hot pink
lipstick, and gold eye shadow.

   Back at `Stacy.  Up on the bed, knees wide, hands between her legs, but
not to cover up.  "Uhn!"

   The music stopped, changed.  {AWOL Nation - "Sail!"} She set down a
smart-phone, plugged into her boombox.

   "Who're you!" my eyebrow dropped.

   "Docta Reece," she closed the door.

   "How old'rmM!?" She covered my mouth.  Looked maybe 12?

   "Shut th' fuck up," Stacy got up, so she pushed me back to the bed. 
"She twelve!" I fell back.  "But she stil a vergin?" She shook her head.

   "I;"

   "I said Shut," she hit me, "the Fuck!" again, "UP!" and again.  "You
know how yo daddy alway calt youa fuckup?" I looked away, "Well, you fucked
wit yo niece." Had to.  "Took pictas, dumshit.  You know that all I gotta
take to the cops?"

   "No!"

   She laughed, "You face right there," she picked up a mirror, "Grinnen
like a idiot, lookit!"

   "Stop!"

   "I'sa wonda they ain't pick you up on description.  See dat creepy
spreshun on yo face?  You even look likea chile molesta!  Aint even tryna
hideit."

   "Please!"

   "You'll do anyhing, right?" She rubbed my shorts.  "Right!?"

   She said not to talk, so I just nodded.  In disbelief, I wasn't hard
yet, but she was blackmailing me, for sex?

   "You aint e'en a pedophile.  They ken love, you jus take what you ken
get, yew pathetic rech!"

   "WTF?"

   "An I tole you," she pinched my cheeks, "Ta shut tha fuck up!" Shook her
head, and turned to Stacy.  "Ken he even get it up?"

   She shook her head, but she was smiling.  I never saw her smile like
that before, and it scared me.  A little, not like her black friend, but it
was a nitemare.  Had to be, this can't be happening.

   "Yew aite?" She nodded.  "Was rong?" she looked down, my shorts were
open, all a sudden.  "I ain't yo type?"

   "Uh?"

   "Yew know the words, English teacha.  You know what Objectification id?"

   "Wh?"

   "No." she shook my head, "You don't.  Let me teach you a lessen."

   Like I could stop her.  I mean, she's small, and skinny, but there's 2
of them, and they had pictures.  Even Stacy looked different, had her fists
balled up on her hips.  She smacked me, "Ova here.  This ain't `bout huh no
more." And they had pictures, even if I fight, I beat up 2 tweenage girls,
and they had proof of the incest.  No use fighting.

   "Yeh," she rubbed it in, "Yew ken get it up fo huh?" Gripped it so
tight, doesn't look that strong, but her skinny fingers strangled it.  "Mi
to old fo yew?  To black?  You like it dirty, eva fucked a derty nigga?"

   Now, I ain't racist.  I even went out with black girls before, but
women. Grown up, and they weren't scary, like this.  I was terrified, of a
little girl?  But, why did it even get hard?  How could this turn me on,
through all that fear?

   "This big's it get?" I never been so hard, "Yeh." she puted, "I rape
bigger men then yew."

   Rape?  She was going to rape me?  How?  I mean, I believed it, even
though it was inconceivable.  I guess that's how my mind worked, sick as it
is.  I must have imagined it for some reason.  But I didn't imagine what I
did to her.  That wasn't a dream, even though it happened at night.  The
first time, I couldn't help it.  I was so lonely, and she's so pretty. 
Beautiful, so lovely I just wanted to show her.

   Or, so I told myself, but now my subconscious was trying to tell me
something.  She never said no, stop, but I raped her.  God help me, I raped
my little Stacy, and now I needed a nightmare to admit that to myself.  I
swear, I'll never even look at her again, as soon as I wake up.  I can't
even now, with her watching.  Silently judging me.

   But I didn't wake up, I just passed out.

   .

   .

   Reason {Gg...  M Prof}

   "Heah," I squoze it out, wiped it on he mouf.  "You eva taste yoself
afo?" He shake he head, lick he lips.  Fained a minit dere, but he stay
hard enough to jerk he off.  Ate he nut, tho, and suck it off my fingas. 
"How much money you got?" I cleaned out he wallet, "We goin shoppin."

   He throwed up, then run the showa while we get dress.

   "You rape men?"

   I laft, "Nah," shrug, "I'ma prostitot, Madam now." I'magine, "That likea
Pimp, only I done beat mah girls, an you keep the money."

   Her eyes wide, "You're a whore?"

   "You liketa fuck?"

   "I think I'm gay?" She shook her head.

   "Well," I pult on one of her tops.  A clean one from the dressa.  "Call
me if you wanna make some money." I gave her my numba, fo the fust time.  I
took her bike too, needed it, and beside she can get whateva she want outta
her uncle.  Now I showed her how.  Whitemail, I guess.  Put on my
headphones.

   {M.I.A.  - Paper Planes}

   Usly take they numba, so I can call them.  If'n they know mine, they can
reach me, and that be tracked.  Can't do it on Craigslist, like a grownup.
Mightas well call 9-11 an tell them I got gas money.  Like a cab, to the
worse hotel in town.

   "Huh!" Fuck.  Now why I gotta go an think that?  Why I done work them,
no more.  Gotta start somewhere, I guess.  Some time, but I took off early.
I need bank, to get outta that neighborhood.  Done wanna go back, but I
gotta crash.  Ain't no money there, fo me.

   "Yeh," she call right back, so I stood up on the sidewalk.

   "Reece?"

   "Yeh?"

   "This is Stacy."

   "Yeh," I know "We work on dat."

   "You took my bike?"

   "Huh!" shrug, "You ken git anotha."

   "You're right.  He's, he went right into Denial."

   "Yeh?" Probly can't even lookat her, fo a while.

   "Um," I wait, walk it off to the brown grass so somebody ken go by, but
they kids.  Look Mex'can.  "Were you serious, about,"

   "Done say it.  You wanna work?"

   "Let's say," she still thinkin.  Which's fine, "I did, what would I do?"

   "Well, you need practice fust.  You got somebody to play wit, right?"

   "I guess?"

   "You like it, afore?"

   "I don't even know any more."

   "What `bout yo boy frien?"

   "Yeah," she take a ragged breath, "Uh."

   "Oh."

   "Yeah."

   "Well, done do nothin wit otha gerl till then, just get some practice."

   "Practice what?"

   "Control." Nod, "You usta bein on top?"

   "Nah." She can't help it.

   "Well, practice dat."

   "Okay." She cut out, so I hit a random track.  {Die Antwoord - Baby's on
Fire} They white, I mean African white, whiter'n Stacy.  I guess that why
they music so weird, but I like it.  Not sho if that make them Crappas or
not.  You know what I'm sayin?  SoWeTo sound like a Ghetto, Aparthied ova,
an now I guess it white too.  Gotta be worse'n 8-Mile, tho.

   "Huh!" It a long way back to Kate Ross, but ther a stop, an they got
racks on the front of the bus.  I need some mo'fuckin wreck.  Dere it is,
get in the back corna, and put my legs up on the seat.  Right unner the
camra in back, and the one up front block by the seat.

   "Huh!" I ain't really horney, but I done wanna pass out, an miss my
stop. "huhhhh!" Anybody lookit my butt?  I ain't got much up front yet, and
I ain't eat, since.

   ?

   I actin asleep, done pass out now, jus try'n thinka somethin sexy.

   Well, I ain't get off jerkin her creeper unkle, but he sowain't sexy. 
And her privilege ass.  "Uh!"

   I gotta stop, cus the bus pull up, and this guy get in the corna, right
acrost from me.  Scoot up, put my legs down, and pick my jacket up.  It
stink, like he'd know.  But he starin, and tryin not to look likeit. 
"Huh," I pull the cable, and scoot ova to the middle.  "Hey," holt out my
hand, "Do this smell like," my fingas, "Pussy to you?" Right unner his
nose.

   The brakes squeel, and I skip down to the dow befow it stop.  PCH!  Some
guys don't like agressive girls, but he keep lookin, and get off right afta
me.  I's alreddy round the corna, and ain't even thinkin bout passin out no
more.  Some minimall thing.  Look back in the winda, yup der he is.  Like I
winda shoppin, for some granma doiley shit.  White ass pillows wit tea sets
on'em.

   Around back, steel securety door, call SWAT ta bust it down, but there
anotha corna, an I let my bag down, hold it, and flick out my knife. 
"Hey," he look down when I drop my bag, and I bring the chisle tip up unner
the seam in he jeans.  Baggy, carpenter pockets, neva seen a day a work. 
"Sh." Hole it unner he nose, an tap he lips.  Pull he wallet.

   "You're a," Exhibitionist, mugger, soon ta be teenage madam?

   "I done need this," credit cards drop the leatha by the bills, and tuck
them down my shirt.  "Barely worth muggin you fo.  You wanna hand-job?"

   "A whore?"

   Feel on he fly.  "You gotta roll a pennies in dere?"

   Z z z

   ...  Turn around, and rub it on my back.  Hand in my purse, past the
rubbas, and aim the revolva out the back.  "You wanna touch me're
somethin'?" He grab my ass, squose it round he dick like a pair a titties.
"Huh!"

   "Uh!" That was quick.  "Can I get your number?"

   Pull it out, "Gimme yo's." Count, 15, 16, 17 bucks?  "Uh!  Slap he face,
still tuckin in.  Barely enough to wash off my jackit.  "I call you." Take
it back, an bounce.  "Done follow me agin." Din't even look back.

   "Huh!" [Contacts] Call a muthafuckin cab.  [Jack.] "Damn!" I just left
my bike on the muthafuckin bus!  Now I know I gotta sleep.  Probly jus get
stole at home anyway.  Agin.

   ;

   "X" {G Solo Plantacy}

   She doesn't Text.  "Wut!?" Smartphone, but that would leave a log.

   "Uh," unsure, "Reece?"

   "Raya, my frien call me dat.  `Sup?" Sounds like traffic, but she's
right.  He bought me another bike, a better one, din't even think about
calling the cops.

   "You want me to,"

   "Done say it," she interrupted, "On th' phone, this pretty safe, but get
in the habbit.  You wanna work?"

   "Well," he's paying, "I don't need the money, but."

   "You intrestet."

   "Yeh," Shake my head, "Sorry, yeah."

   "Sall right."

   "It's just," huh!  "Ever since, this afternoon.  I been thinking." Well,
"I can't stop thinking about," HER.  "I want to see you."

   "Professionally?" I think I'm in love with her.

   "I got money," all the things, I never thought of doing.  Until she was
gone, "He raised my allowance, too."

   "Huh!" Even her sigh, sounded mad, but, I just closed my eyes, and
hugged the phone.  "Yeh, I ken cum ova."

   "Good." I don't know if I was ever even bisexual.  I mean, he didn't
make me, he just dropped little hints.  If there was any girls I knew, my
age, we could play with.  She hung up, but now that I think about it.

   I can now.  That's what she did for me, told me: "It ain't jus when
somebody die.  I's also, like Drauma." I think she ment Trauma, or how she
says `Dis an dat.' I like her accent, I love her, everything about her. 
She's so smart, and the way she makes me feel,

   Free.
1: Denial.  I guess I'm past that, again.
2: Bargaining.  Well, money.  I got it, she need it.  To get outta, well
it ain' Compton, but I seen her neighborhood now.  Wanted to go in, but I
got scared.  Not that bad, so close to Baylor, but still.  I'm not racist,
but even the whites in there looked.  Terrifying, but it's exciting too. 
Like the anticipation, lying in bed, waiting for Him to come in.
I don't know what I want, but she was right.  "He won't do it agin." He
don't even look at me no more, and he got paid.  Really upped my allowance,
and got me such a nice bike.  24" Mountainbike, with gears, and shifters on
the grips I'm still getting the hang of.  But I'm just so horny, and
confused.  I's wonderful, maybe I'm just not used to these feelings, or

that's denial again, but could I tell?

   "Huh!" I have to do something, and sleep ain't happening.  So, I just
think about what she said, dancing for me, too scared to touch her, but it
was so much easier with her right in front of me.  With the music up, I
wonder if she'd like this.  Trip-hop, or is that more Cultural
Appropriation?  What's WRONG with me?  I'm like, turning ADD or something,
when I really just want to get off, and go to sleep.

   "Huh!" I was just nice to hear her voice again, for real instead of just
remembering.  What she toled me:

   "You done did it allreddy." when I said I don't know, about, working. 
"Played Daddy little whore, wit that gerl." From school, it never occured
to me that was the first time I got off.  Playing with her, while he took
pictures.  "You know that what he groom you fo?  Bought you all them nice
thing, and yo allowance." Made me call him Daddy.

   "Yeah," click, "Lick that pussy!"

   I don't even know why, I ran up to her.  On the bus stop, wasn't hinking
about taking her home, just talked about makeup, but even then I felt it.
Not like when she say "You feel me?" but somehing about her.  Not just
being black, pulling out all that expensive stuff by the mall, but
something about her.  I mean, I was bored, and wondered how she got all
that expensive stuff.  Or where she stole it from, but not cuz she black, I
shoplift too.  I can't even put my finger on it, or I couldn't.  But now.

   "Hah!" Yes.  Yes I can, "Ah!" I bet I can, touch her, make her feel this
good.  "NhimhH!" Biting my breath back, when really I just want to scream
her name.  "Rayah!"

   Sex: "It ain't Rape, or Biness.  Sex id somethin you do Wit someone.  Yo
unkle done did it To you." He didn't hurt me, but "That abuse.  He look fo
vulnerble chilen, or wait fo one to drop right in he lap." Literally, even
before my family died.  He always called me his favorite niece.

   Tickling me in his lap, "And who's your favorite uncle?"

   "In da storey, the Knight come an save you from the monsta.  But we all
outta Prince Charmin, so we gotta save ourselfs."

   Well, she told me that, and to practice.  I wish she were here, but I'm
still not sleeping.  Wide awake, "Ain't got shit ta do tomorra, ain't got
no fuckin' job!" ~Stoney.

   "Huh!" so might as well get up.  Stretch, turn the music up.  I should
learn to dance.  For her, the way she showed me.  Danced for me, I wish I
had her hips, dat ass.

   "Dem white girls, like Miley.  Tryna twerk when dey ain't got nothin ta
werk!" Yeh, I got nothin, kinda need a sandwitch.  "Yeh," midnight snack,
like she say.  Gotta eat ta grow, "Feel me?" I can't wait.

   She don't look like a pimp, but she raped him.  Right in front of me,
just jerked him off, but bangin his balls like her chain hits her chest. 
{Back to "Bad Girls", probably subconscious.} And he don't even know it,
she told him, spat the word "Rape" right in his face, but he in denial.

   Irregardless, the sanity of the plan is inconcequential, "Because she
can do it!" ~Dr.  A.  Zola.

   ;

   "Mister" {MG Porn NS}

   "Hey Mista!" I stopped, but the door closed behind me.  Her eyes, and
grin appeared first, before she stepped out of a dark corner of the alley,
and dropped her hood.  I hide it, the black plastic handle bag, even though
you can't see the DVD through it.

   In the alley, right behind the shop where I bought it.  The door
latching automatically behind me.  But I didn't want to just get a booth,
jerk off with god knows what sticking to the bench.  Pay 4 play, it's
cheaper to buy them.

   "Sorry," she's so short, "Almost ran into you."

   "Done werrey," she grinned, "I seen lotsa porno," she nodded, at the
door behind me, "But dey got the kind I like."

   "How old're you?" I looked back.  Hard to tell in that baggy green
sweatshirt with the yellow piping.

   "Therteen?" Sounded ghetto, though.  She pulled a bill out of the
pocket. "You gonna make me wait 5 mo yeahs?"

   "It's locked."

   "Den go `round front." She put it in my pocket, but I couldn't back up
any more.  "Bondage, the storey books.  Intaracial if dey got it."

   "You into that?"

   "Why?" she laughed, "You like getten tiet up?"

   "What?"

   "Where you from?"

   "What?"

   "What ain't no cuntrey I eva hearda, they speak English in what?" I
tried to laugh.  "Gowan, get me somethin good." She stepped out of my way,
and slapped my wallet when I tried to go bye.  "I'll be right heah."

   I looked back, at her stepping back in the dark corner, but she lit a
cigarette.  Well, I guess if I'm going to buy her porno, she can get
cigarettes, but.  13?  I don't know, anything about, that, culture.  And
kids are growing up younger every year, seems like.  But I can't help
looking around, feeling nervous, the bored looking punk rocker behind the
counter scoffed.  "No returns."

   "No," there's the rack, "I um.  I forgot something."

   "Phf!" He scoffed.  Yeah, that's it.  Actng suspicious, in a porn shop.
Hard to believe they even make stuff, that sick.  Much less a 13 year old
would be interested, but what makes a little girl, want, something like
that?  I mean, I wasn't sheltered, got into my daddy's stash before even
that, but still.  It was, you know, like normal stuff.  I mean Penthouse,
maybe even Club International, but I don't even want to look at Stroke.

   Looks interracial, and lots of Leather on the cover, but girls don't
like to look at gay porn.  Do they?  I don't even know, maybe it's like
lesbos.  I mean, like guys like watching them, I don't have the slighest
idea what lesbos look at.  "What're you looking for?"

   I jumped, but he didn't grab my ass, or anything.  Just looked over my
shoulder.

   "Uh," what did she say?  "Bondage?  Interracial if you got it."

   "Over here," he turned the rack beside it.  "Gay?"

   "Straight," I shook my head, "I think."

   "Your closet," he shrugged, "I read this one," held it up, "It's got an
interracial story, or do you prefer pictures?" Well, he just sold me a
video.  No bondage, but it did have a big black guy in it.  Huge fucking
cock, I'm no gay or anything, but the girls sure enjoy it more, with a BBC,
right?

   "No," I took it, "that's fine." I just wanted out of there, stuffed her
change in my pocket, and grabbed the bag as soon as he handed it over. 
"Huh!" Outside, I smelled smoke, and looked around for the glow.  On the
ground, in the dark corner.

   "How'd it go?"

   I jumped, again.

   "Uh?" I pulled it out, showed her.

   "Thanks," she just let it hang from the holes in the top.  "You got a
car?"

   "You need a ride somewhere?" She followed me to the parking lot.

   "Yeh," she looked around, "The busses stop runnin.  You know howta get
to Kate Ross?"

   She got in.  "Where?"

   "Your place is fine." She grinned.

   "Uh," I looked at my keys, "I'm on break." Yeah, right.  One a them 3am
Lunch breaks.

   "You wanna go back to work, or get fucked?"

   "What?"

   "English, mothafucka!" she laughed.  "~J.  Winnfield." Yeah, I got it.

   "But,"

   "I ain't no vergin," she grinned, "Your folks home?"

   "I got my own place!"

   "Good," she rubbed my leg.  "Might wanna make dat gettaway den, dis
illegal." As fuck!

   ;

   "Daddy" {g-G/M Ince Rape, St: Sneaker Pimps - Roll On (Becoming X)}

   "Uh?" another nitemare, "MH?  Stacy?' Of course not, she would never. 
But it's just like.  I molested her, I'm so sorry, but now it invaded my
sleep.  The shame, guilt took over my dreams, and terrified me every night.

   "Shhhh!" her fingers slipped back, one by one until she held the last
over my lips.  At least it wasn't Her again.  That naked little demon I
made up the first time, I admitted, what I did to her.  I stopped, but the
nighmares wouldn't.

   Her shadow, looming over me.  Soft little hands, pulling at my hip,
slipping the covers down, reaching into my shorts.  "Awwwwe," her teeth so
white in my dim bedroom, "Did I scare it?"

   "Stop!" I try to push her hands away but, "Uuuuuh!" Moan as they clamp
down.  I kind of had to pee, but didn't dare.

   "Shhhhhhhhhh!" She shakes her head, "You know these walls.  Like
tissuepaper, you don't want the neighbors to hear.  Why, what would they
say!" She covered her mouth, but giggled.  Her other hand still crushed my
balls, not hard, but they ached, and I could feel the stubble.  Growing
out, in her palm, then her fingers tight around the soft bulge above it.

   "What good is it," she giggled quietly, "Why I might as well cut it off,
if you can't get it up."

   "Moh!" She smelled, weird?  I closed my eyes, but the flash didn't go
away.  The sharp lines, coming together into a point.  `mhhhn!' It spread
on my belly, dribbling down between my legs, and off the sides, soaking
warmly into the sheets.

   "Well!" her eyes went wide as Maleficent's {Sleeping Beauty} "If you
can't get it up," the matress tilted from her knee.  Climbing up, "Let's
see if you can eat a pussy?" so she could turn, and put her leg over.  "Go
on," she bent over, "It won't bite." Her hands moving, breath hot on my
crotch.  "But I might, if I have to."

   "Mmmmh!" I tried to moan, but she covered my mouth.

   "More tongue." I felt her fingernails, "Right here." on my lip, "My clit
is right here." I found it.  "Yeh," she rubbed it in, "Suck it, you filthy
fucking perv."

   "Mh!"

   "Huh!" she humped me until I was hard, let it slip out of her warm
mouth, and I felt the rubber before it dried in the cold night air.  She
held the pillow over my face, so I could scream.  It didn't hurt, but the
terror.  I wanted it to be over, I just wanted to wake up, alone.  But I
passed out first.  And when I did wake up, it was morning, and she was
gone.

   The bed felt cold, and I couldn't even look at the door.  My door, I
need to get a lock for it.  It felt so real, I peek out, see her door
closed.  Not even music muffled through it, the dead quiet of morning. 
Maybe that will make it stop, so I can sleep.  Without nitemares, I slid
the dresser over, and went to take a shower.  Again.

   ;

   Reason {G/M Gdom Pros NS}

   I don't need he name.  Down the side alley, it T up, but this a good
spot.  Why they be here less'n they like ta fuck?  {~J.  Mewes} And they
can't find pussy, or they be out doin it.  Why they still buyin videos
insteada on the intanet, you got me?  He gotta phone charga, I done need
porn, but it a good hook.  Better'n stickin my thumb out on the turnpike,
she toled me that where "Hooker" come from.

   Stranga, don't care what they look like.  Ain't too old, fat, he gotta
dick an need somebody to stick it in.  Drop it in my backpack, between my
leg.  Might need it layta, or get ideas outta it.  I mean, she a
Dominatrix, a real pro, but she just show me the ropes.  I ain't really
feelin it, but it safer.  Wit him tied up, in case he wanna go Thatch. 
{Daud, don't know the last name.  From "Hard Wired" W.  J.  Williams.} I
already knowed how ta do quotes from that white school.

   Don't talk much, good.  Pro-tip: Git a John wit a car.  Right around the
corna, by the College, but he way out by the lake.  Not far from where
Stacy at, actuly.  "You like white gerl?  Maybe a little olda, some titty?"
Well, she like 14, or look it since she quit that Anorexic shit, and
cutting.  I see what she ment now, `bout therapy.  Regular hookin like jus
supply an demand.  They need it, we got it, 1+1;

   "I've never been with a girl," least he can admit it, "Like you," even
if he cover it up.  Yeh, that it.  Can't talk to women, so the Objectifyin
industry.  Softcore sex-work, can't wait till I can do that.  Legit, this
lookin fo work a lotta work, and ain't nobody got time fo that.  And
workin, ain't neva got time off.  Done wanna quit school neitha, but what
University get me?  Shot by a psycho-killa insteada a crip, or a cop?

   Fuck school, I done did graduate.  "What's so funny?"

   Think back, "Like me how?" a ho, "Black, Assertive?"

   "So young." Shrug.  "What's Assertive?"

   "You know, I make the moves.  Got to, I ain't about to get raped agin."
A'ight, now don't start flashin back, on the job, hear?  "Why I don't
charge extra, fo Bondage."

   "You like it?" Just had to say dat?

   "Huh!" Close my eyes.  "No.  It make my job easia, if you tyet up."

   "I don't want that."

   "A'ite.  Yo money."

   "You're a."

   Not real bright, though.  "Pro." Nod.  "Dominatrix, but I ain't got no
problem wit Vanilla."

   "How much?"

   "You got Fity?"

   "Bucks?"

   "What you get fo fity cent, nigga?" Shake my head, "Damn!"

   "I ain't got that."

   "Well, this just cost Me 20 bucks, an aleast a hour.  You wanna take me
back to the porno shop?"

   "I got 20."

   "Great," I unlock my door, "I don't do freebies, neitha."

   "I get payed on friday."

   "What yo numaba?" I got out my phone.  "I call you, friday." He pull
ova.

   "Here," he handed me the bill.  I pulled out the mags.  Left them on my
seat, and called a cab.  Zipped it up, and put it on waitin fo dem ta show
up.  Tap [Friday] in contacts.

   ;

   X-stacy {G-f Saph Bond Trig.}

   "Who's Mistress Peg?"

   "My Menta."

   "That's like you madam?" She gettin betta at pronunciatin.

   "She like my Mentor.  Or a Pimp, but we don't enslave you, get you
hooked on speedballs, and take yo money." That M.I.A, she ain't black, she
Shrelonken, and Lebineez, I think.  "She showed me the bidness.  I saw huh
Craiglist, an I din't know how ta go it alone.  I had a pimp, or Daddy."

   "Not your real dad."

   "No, like yo.  Sorry." Almost say Uncle, no Mercy.  "Huh!  Yeh, fust he
was my momma deala, but I stawberry while she passed out in tha tub.  Got
this off him." Showed her my peice, but she got scaret, so I tuck it back.

   "Strawberry?"

   "Yeh, like hookin fo drugs, steada money."

   "She sold you.  For, Crack?"

   "Speedball, but no.  Uh, she din't know, like I say she got huh fix, an
passout on Heroin witout the speed.  So, I give him a blowjob so he don't
rape me."

   "Again?" I told her about my daddy.

   "Huh!" her house, nice 4 poster bed.

   "What?"

   "You wanna try bondage?" She looked too.

   "I don't," she look away, "I don't know if I'd like bein tied up."

   "No," almost flashin back alreddy, "You think you can tie me up?"

   "Thought you didn't like that?"

   "I," lay back.  "It ain't like, I like it." I can't explain, neva can.
"You know I been workin hard, lately." Since school startet back up.

   "Uh huh?"

   "Well, that stick wit you.  I can't get it outta my head, but dis." I
helt up my tights.  "I done even know why, but it help, a lot."

   "Okay," so I show her.  "Sure." It take a while, she weren't no
boyscout, but then I can relax.  Close my eyes, breathe.

   "Huh!" She gettin betta.  I ain't all that good, wit my mouth.  Guess I
suck mo dick, but fingas.  Well, I got lotsa practice dere.  Be better at
eatin pussy to if I could reach.  But it ain't about that.  I done gotta
pay attention, do anything, I don't do everthin'.  That's the thing, people
think it aint work.  Especially the guys, "Why I gotta pay fo it, you
gettin some to?"

   Cause it ain't sex, it work.  Anything to get layed, fo free.  You know
mens, or I do.  But, "Huh!" Foget all that.  Pull tighta so I can feel it
stretch on my wrists.  "Uh, yeh!?"

   She fuckin me now.  No idea how many fingas, done care, what it is.  It
ain't no dick, an I need it.  "Ah, yes!  Ah, ahH AHH!" She hold my mouth.
Not cus we gotta, the neybas know.  We lesbians, big ole dykes, "Mh!" Yeh.
She gettin bigga, stronga, her soft chest between my legs, shakin wit her
arm, her hand, her knuckles foltet in half so dey slip through, and she
squeese her fingas.

   "H!" Can't breeth.  So full, more'n any ole dick I eva seen.  "Nh?" I
can't escape.

   My daddy, "No?" Wakin up, "Nh?" Momma gone, no idea where, but I's so
small.  He so strong, picken me up like I ain't nothin.  On he bed, they
bed, screamin.

   "AAAAAAIIIIIIIHH!" ...  "Ah, AhhhhhHHH!"

   "Toine!" Shakin me, "Ra'Toine!"

   "Wh?" Blink, shake my head.

   "It's okay," holdin me.

   "WhHuHuHuHuh!?" cryin.

   "I'm sorry."

   "No," my hand free, I hold her back.  Smell her hair, feel it over my
face, her bress on my side, around my arm.  "Is aright." Shiver.  "That
alway happen." I just need it, sometime.  To remember, why I do dis.

   I foget once.  You know, I actually wen back wit him.  My daddy, my real
daddy, Antoine.  "Mh?" Another sob.  Afta he get out, on prole fo rapin me,
Children Protective Service put me back wit him while momma in rehab.  But
he din't fuck wit me den, he had girlfriens, and I fogot cuz I's only 4 o
5. Mos people can' even member when they that young.  I wish I can't,
neither.  My fust time, wish it was the last time I's raped, to.

   But wishin don't do nothin.  Nothin mo then Denial.  "Huh!" reach ova to
undo my otha hand.  "Thank you." Kiss her, and hold her head.  Sniff until
I done cryin.  "I love you, Anastasia." Nobody else I trust nuffta let them
do dat.  See me like dis, but I can't swallow it foreva.

   "I love you to." Her lips.  "Ra'Toine." I already done did flash back.
Why I done neva use my whole name.  You know, "Who's yo daddy?" In my
family, it ain' no joke.  Why Rashelle give us names like at.  So we can't
foget.

   I ain't even gay, I jus can't have sex wit men.  Even Delante no more,
since he growed up.  Eva, I just fuck `em an I ain't about ta get raped eva
agin.

   "That why you don't do drugs?" I smoke, maybe have a drink once in a
while.

   "Well, dat," take a breath, "And daddy Dizzy."

   "Yo pimp."

   "Yeh.  The fust time, he tookt us to this hotel, in Bellmeade." She
noddet, usta live in Lacy Lakeview.  "He drug us, fust."

   "You and yo momma?"

   "Huh!" shook my head, "She in rehab.  No, me an my sista.  Shawnelle."

   "Oh!"

   She criet too.  "Is okay." Kiss huh.  "I ain't over it, but.  Yeh, thas
what I need it fo."

   "Bondage?"

   "Yeh, is the only way, I know to deal wit it."

   "And work?"

   "That jus bidness." she still don't undastand.

   "What's it like?"

   "Work?" She nod, "There ain't no words.  I can't say, o'splain it.  It
ain't like nothin else."

   "You can show me?"

   Shake my head, "You'd have to." Can' say do it.  I thought about,
turning her out until I got to know her.

   "I want to."

   "No, you don't."

   "I can't get it out of my head, please?"

   Close my eyes, breathe.  Then I smell her, we just fuck, or she fuck me,
but I feel down.  "Damn you wet!"

   "Yeah," she helt my mouth.  "I mean, I Really want to."

   I'll think about it.  But fust I gotta get her off.

   .

   .

   "John" {MF...G Pros}

   Waiting by the phone, "Yes!?"

   "You got my money?"

   "Yeah."

   "I got a ride." Click.

   Just like that.  {~Keith K.  Knight.} Not her, too scary but she said
she had a friend, who wanted to try it.  Cute, still young, but she toled
me, "If'n we'us 18 we'd be doin porn, legit." Only talked to her in chat.

   [Call me X.] she sent back, [I don't need the money,] with pictures!  [I
have a sugar "Daddy."] No idea why that's in quotes.  [It's always been a
fantasy, though.  With a stranger.] At least I don't have to pay for a
hotel room.  [A real man, like you?] She already knows where I live, and
the people she knows.  A prostitute, not just other girls, more my taste
but also Gangsters.  Real ones, cripps, bloods, and others.  She don't sell
drugs, but "Everybody gotta get laid, so I can get paid." ~I.  T.

   So, she's a pimp.  Too, I guess she doesn't mind hooking either, or
maybe she just picks her clients herself?

   KNOCK.  Once, but loud.  Not even 2 minutes, must have been on the way,
and gotten dropped off.  I didn't see another car.  She dropped her bag
with a heavy clunk, and sat down.  "Uh."

   "I'm gonna watch." She didn't ask, "It huh first time too, you gotta
problem wit dat?"

   I shook my head.  "Money's on the kitchen table." She spread out on the
couch, so her unzipped sweatshirt hung open, and I could see a tape wrapped
handle on her side.

   "You're a virgin?" I turned to X.

   She laughed, "My first Job!"

   "Oh."

   She pointed her phone at my Playbox.  "That do Bluetooth?" Nod.  "Good."
She hit Power, so I picked up the controller.  "I'm gonna put some music
on."

   "Okay?" {St: Portishead - Only You (Dummy)}

   "You wanna go out or something?"

   Reas waved the $20, and $50 "The girlfrien experience extra."

   "Are you loud?" Trippy music, like scratchy, and skippy, but a soft
sultry singer, and almost classical instrumentation.

   "Huh?"

   "Am I gonna have to turn his up?" I grabbed the remote, and nudged up
the volume.  She took it, and tossed it on the couch.  Right next to Reas,
ooh, she can dance!  And that skirt just barely came over the tops of her
white stockings.  Thick bands around her thighs, like ribbons.

   "...Like that;" The music skipped back.  Bjork?  Sounded kind of like
Starship, only remixed by a rapper, or something.

   "What do I?"

   "Nothing," she leaned down, and ran a finger down my lips.  Her leg up,
she slipped her skirt up, and started rolling the stocking down.  "Just lie
back, relax.  I'm here for you."

   "Eva been raped, molestet, or otherwise sexually abused?"

   "What?" Reas scoffed.  Do you speak it?  I understand that whole scene
now, that I've relived it, or something like that.

   "I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?" She does it on purpose,
ignore it.

   "It's only you..." she sang along, so I looked up just in time for her
to drape it over my eyes.  I could smell her pefume, or soap?  I don't
know, it smelled wonderful.  "Huh!" her breath on my face, "I'm here for
you, but I can't do my job with you flashing back."

   "No," I shook my head.  The music fucked with my head too, but the song
changed, and Reas set down the phone.  But she backed away, turned around,
her skirt swaying, then bouncing.  {Sneaker Pimps - "Bloodsport"} Up and
down, slowly in time with her hips.

   Bawowwonk wank wonk wonkwank!

   Backing up to me, brushing over my legs.  I reached up, felt under it,
then she sat down.  Right on my hands, she leaned back until my face was
full of her hair.  Long, blond, in tight curls like ringlets.  Perfect, but
I could feel her underwear.  She turned, and past her face her other leg
went up.

   Her fingers, rolling the stocking out.  "You have any rubbers?" She
ground her ass into my hardon, and hands suggestively.

   "Uh," I looked back, at the white ring, tented on her toes until she
tilted her foot, and let it drop.  "Uh uh."

   "Huh!" she got up, rolling her eyes.  "You'd think," to Reas, "If you
knew for a fact.  Sure thing, you're getting some tonight.  Bought, and
payed for."

   She bent over, and she held one up.  Pinched between her fingers like a
card trick.  I glanced back, at the white crotch of her panties, peeking
out under the hem of her skirt.  "Uh!" I almost shot off, like a teenager,
I've never been teased like that, even in a strip club.  Then again, you
can't touch them, even in the ViP, no matter how much I offered.

   Who knew it would be so hard to find a decent looking hooker?  I've seen
them before, but they're all old, fat, or nasty.  She looked pure as the
driven snow, and at least said she chose me for the first time.  I know,
I'm being lied to, but fuck it.  It's a good lie.

   Click!  Reas turned her phone around, to show us.

   "Insurance," X bent down to wink.  "If you decide to rape, rob, or call
the cops on us."

   "You know wha dey do wit chile abusers in prison?" I look over at Reas.
"No," she shook her head, "You done wanna."

   "I wouldn't."

   "Yeh?" she laughed, "You think they eva mean to?  Think about it, afore
the first time they go thatch?  Nah, they love wimmin, jus aks dem."

   "Uh," look up, her blouse is coming open, but she's not like a stipper.
At all, no big fake boobs, they're small, but so pale, and beatiful. 
"Mmhh!" I can't breathe, but I don't want to.  Her hands feel great,
rubbing around the back of my head, so my face rolls around in here.  "Ah!"
she pulls me back by the hair.  "Nh!" She sits down, hard, and my hair
hurt. But my pants are open, and he feels weird.  Not like I expected,
until she holds her hands up.

   And rubs them in my face.  I can smell her.  Her panties.  "Muph!?" I
wanted to wait, she didn't even get the rubber on, but my head fell back,
and I felt the hot wet twitches aginst her hot hairless croch.  "Uhhh!"

   "Thanks," she got up, wiped, grabbed her shoes, and stockings.  Stepped
into the heels, and stuffed the white underwear in her purse.

   "I'll call you." Reas zipped her sweater up, and pulled on the hood. 
The door clicked behind them, and the music cut off before they made it
down the stairs.

   No car, I fixed my pants, and watched through the blinds while they
unlocked their bikes.  Right, 13, and maybe 14?  Probably not even a
learner's permit, and the busses stop running after dark.  "Huh!" I held up
my hand, to the cold glass.

   I get payed every other week, but I could pull some extra hours.  Maybe
some odd jobs.  I could wait, but next time I can afford more.
   .