Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Piggy Tales - Chapter 2

   By Orestes

   orestesw@yahoo.com ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Orestes

   ***

   Contradictions do not exist.

   Shannon had seen this premise forcefully argued in some book she had
read, but couldn't quite remember the author.  Ronell, or Rand, or
something.  She was just some forgotten twentieth century philosopher who
had fallen out of favor and whose ideas would no longer be discussed in
academic circles.

   If the philosopher had a name, Shannon would have searched out those
essays for insight.  The author had seemed so sure that there was an
objectivist truth in every situation.  A is A.  Contradictions do not
exist.

   Shannon craved those kinds of assurances.  She wanted to know that there
was some answer to her seemingly contradictory nature.  Why would she
struggle so hard to be independent, and then surrender so easily to the
mind games of Elizabeth Fisher?  Why did she seek the respect of those
people who thought the worst of her, and then, through her actions, prove
that she was unworthy of their respect?

   Why would she sit in this Political Science classroom, working on a
puzzle she was unsure she could ever solve, while every impulse within her
wanted to give-up, and just become the mindless, empty-headed thing that
she was transformed into during...

   ...  well, during the moments that she was so ashamed of, like her most
recent humiliation in the office of Elizabeth Fisher.

   Another contradiction.  It seemed so wrong to allow it to happen, but it
felt so good.  The conclusion that Elizabeth Fisher was giving her was a
difficult one to swallow.

   " Bethany was teaching you a lesson about your place in the food chain,"
the older woman had taunted, her eyes still holding Shannon shamefully in
position.

   Truth.  It had an ugly ring to it.  But it wasn't the whole truth.

   The only time that Shannon felt completely satisfied was in those
fleeting moments when she let go of her resistance, and allowed herself to
be free of dignity.  To be a possession.  To be put in her place.

   Those moments didn't last long.  Everything she had been taught would
come rushing back into her with a violence that convinced her, somewhere in
her gut, that it was all unnatural.  Forced.  Pretense.  Of course, these
feelings only made it harder for Shannon to concentrate on the work at
hand.

   " It is, perhaps, not a popular argument that I am making," the
professor told his class, without a trace of defensiveness, " but when you
leave this college, you will make your own decisions.  It is very likely
that those decisions will mirror the ones that were made a hundred years
ago, and you will continue to advance, through your values, and more
importantly, through your votes, restrictions on social freedoms."

   " What concerns me is that the decisions were made by what was, at the
time, a small minority of the population.  The Tea Party, as it was
initially known, took control of the political process by virtue of zealous
activism and the support of conservative media outlets.  They maintained
their position through shrewd political maneuvering, and by instilling an
unreasonable fear of change in the public.  All of this can be supported by
the historical record.  While I don't necessarily have a problem with the
outcome of these changes to the constitution, I am troubled by the way they
were achieved.  Any comments from the class?"

   This professor had a reputation for challenging his student.  Shannon
had spent a disproportionate amount of her study time trying to understand
his lecture notes, but still felt completely unprepared when he set his
sights on her.

   " Miss Bowen ?"

   " I...  uh..."

   The stutter drew a chuckle from around the room.  Shannon took a deep
breath and then tried again.

   " I don't understand why you wouldn't...  I mean, why nobody questions
the outcome of the constitutional changes.  If the changes were driven by
fear and political motives, why are we so sure that the...um, that the
reformed constitution is really better than the one the original founding
fathers wrote?"

   It was another piece of information that everyone seemed to know and
accept before the question was even asked.  Some of the girls rolled their
eyes at here naive comments, while others actually seemed offended that she
would dare question the constitution.

   " How about it?" the professor asked.  " Is there anyone else here who
thinks the same way?"

   Shannon's support came from a most unexpected corner of the classroom.

   " I just think it's funny, " Bethany spoke up, " that nobody is really
willing to challenge the results.  I mean, you can go back and pick apart
the immediate causes and effects of the new constitution...  and no one
really seems to mind, but it's just not politically correct to say that the
outcome is flawed."

   It was a line that the professor couldn't cross himself.  Not without
risking his tenure, anyhow.  His flirtations with academic freedom were
tempered with self-interest.  However, if the topic were brought up by a
student, he didn't seem to mind taking on the debate.

   " The outcome is flawed, is it?  How so?"

   " In over a century, what has really changed?  There's still poverty. 
There are still problems in the public education system.  We're still using
roughly the same computers, the same vehicles, and the same medical
technologies.  After the twentieth century, and the explosive growth in the
beginning of the twenty-first, we've hit a technological plateau...  maybe
even a backslide in some ways.  And now the politicians seem satisfied to
sit in the same spot, and just repair the current infrastructure as it
decays, and to snipe at each other about the most recent sex scandals."

   Her line of argument caught most of the girls by surprise.  They had
clearly been ready to see Shannon taken apart by the professor, and were
shocked to see so prominent a student as Bethany come to her defense.  The
professor allowed the moral majority of the classroom to respond with their
standard tools of furious sound and indignation, only interjecting a few
devil's advocate comments when the debate seemed too one-sided.

   In the end, nothing would be solved.  They all recognized it.  Even
while they could explore the freedom to take a contrary stand in an
academic environment, in the real world, pragmatism ruled.  The current
political system would continue to grind along with inertia of status quo.
All that had happened today was that Shannon was a little less certain
about her decision to avoid Bethany.

   The universe righted itself quickly enough.

   " Hey, uh, thanks for backing me up in there," Shannon caught up to
Bethany in the hallway.

   " I didn't back you up...  I agreed with an idea.  There's a difference.
I'm just surprised that you were able to come up with any ideas worth
agreeing with."

   And that was that.

   Shannon wished, over the next couple of hours, that she could shrug off
the rebuke.  She should be used to it, she argued to herself.  Bethany had
always made it clear that she had no real regard for her classmate.  It was
a pattern that had repeated itself many times.  Bethany didn't mind taking
a part in the non-rivalry, but she always made her opinion clear.  Shannon
wasn't in her league.

   The way she said it wasn't vindictive.  It was just matter-of-fact.

   It was a good thing that Shannon had found some new friends this year.
There was no way she would make it through college with Bethany constantly
reminding her of her shortcomings.

   That was Elizabeth's job now.  Of course, Elizabeth disagreed with
Shannon about avoiding Bethany in favor of her new friends, and she took
every opportunity to point it out.  The bi-weekly sessions in Elizabeth
Fisher's office always delivered the same message; "I told you so."

   While she was sitting there, being disassembled by Elizabeth's ruthless
logic, she could do nothing but agree.  However, when she rejoined her real
life, it only made her more determined to prove everyone wrong.  Her new
friends would give her the respect she deserved.  She didn't need people
like Bethany or Elizabeth to feed her insecurities.  She needed friends who
would take care of her.

   It was Patty and Tracy who were going to help Shannon out of her awkward
situation with her math tutor.  After taking some initial amusement from
Shannon's misunderstanding of the situation, they had come up with a plan.
They shared it with Shannon when she returned to her dorm room after class.
Patty was painting her toe nails as they talked.

   " Well you don't want to hurt Alana's feelings, do you?"

   " Not at all."

   " And you've got to admit that you've been leading her on a bit."

   They had helped her to understand all of the little signals that Alana
had been sending.  There had been the gifts.  There was the way Alana was
always willing to re-schedule a session if it wasn't convenient for
Shannon. They had even shared meals sometimes, when the tutorial ran long,
and they had to work through dinner.

   " Well, yeah, I guess.  I didn't mean to."

   " I still can't believe you didn't know that she was a dyke," broke in
Tracy.  The third year student had taken a personal interest in Shannon's
success, and Shannon was grateful for the attention.

   " Anyhow, " Patty continued, " it would definitely hurt Alana's feelings
if you just told her that you were never interested in her.  She would feel
like you were playing her for a fool the whole time, just pretending to be
a lesbian to get what you wanted."

   Shannon definitely didn't want Alana to feel like that.  She had been so
supportive.

   " So how do I back out of our relationship without telling her that I'm
straight?"

   " The easiest thing," Patty explained, "is simply to become unavailable.
Everyone understands that relationships can develop pretty quickly when
you're around college.  If she sees you with someone else, it'll be a
disappointment, but it won't seem like you were playing with her feelings.
She'll probably just be kicking herself because she wasn't aggressive
enough to make her move while you were still available."

   " So I have to pretend I'm in a relationship with another girl?"

   " Don't worry.  You don't have to do it for long.  After she sees you
together, she probably won't ask too many questions.  She'd be embarrassed
to let on that she's still interested in you."

   " But...  how..."

   Tracy unveiled her part in the plan.

   " I'll introduce you to a friend of mine at a party this weekend.  Her
name is Ruth.  She's perfect.  She's totally out of the closet, and she
owes me a favor.  You two can find a nice quiet corner, spend some time
making out, and I'll arrange to bring Alana over so that she can see the
two of you together.  Your credentials as a lesbian will be established,
and Alana will see that you're no longer on the market."

   It was a tidy solution, Shannon had to admit, except...

   " What's wrong?" Patty asked.  " You look hesitant."

   " It's just...  well, I haven't really had any...  um, experience
with..."

   " Oh, my god.  Aren't you adorable?" Tracy teased, watching Shannon's
face turn a bright shade of red.  "I can't believe you're this nervous
about a little kissing with another girl.  It's nothing to worry about. 
It's just like kissing a guy, except without the stubble.  "

   It was true that Shannon was a more than a little reluctant to engage in
that kind of intimacy with another girl, but it was more than that.

   " Even with a guy, I haven't really done that much kissing," she
admitted.

   " You've had a boyfriend, haven't you?" Patty asked, in disbelief.

   " Yeah, but..."

   But what?  She wasn't going to share the details with Patty and Tracy.
They would lose all respect for her.  She wasn't going to admit that in all
of the times that Kevin had played with her body like a toy, in all of the
times that he had humiliated her, and filled her with his cum, that they
had never even shared a single tender moment.  A simple kiss on the mouth
would have been out of place in that relationship.

   " It's okay..." Shannon continued, after a pause.  " I'll do it.  No
problem."

   Those hollow assurances to her new friends didn't calm her own nerves.
It left her with the rest of her school week to be distracted from her
work, which was already difficult enough to keep focused on.  By the time
the weekend came, Shannon was just anxious to have it over with, so that
she could go back to pretending that she fit in.

   " Don't worry...  you look good, " Patty told her, as Shannon fussed
over her choice of clothing one more time.

   Shannon couldn't help but be nervous.  It was an evening of firsts for
her.  First time leaving campus with her new friends.  First college party.
First kiss...  that was the one she was trying not to think about.

   The other girls arrived, and for a little while, Shannon put her mind
away, and was able to get caught up in the excitement.  This was what it
was like to be a real college student.  Her anxieties about falling behind
in her studies had kept her from pursuing a social life here, but tonight
was different.  It felt good to be included, even if it felt like the girls
were having some fun at her expense.

   Then it would be all over.  Alana wouldn't be hurt.  Shannon could go
back to her studies.  Patty and Tracy and the other girls would be her
friends.  She didn't have to think about Elizabeth Fisher or Bethany right
now.  It was an evening to let go, and then everything would be okay.

   The girls piled into the back of an ancient camper-van, and Tracy took
the wheel.  The rusty old vehicle made a few grunts and squeals as it
pulled away from the curb.  Inside, the students applied make-up and traded
stories about the guys they had hooked up with on previous weeks.

   The ride wasn't a long one.  It was just enough to take the girls off of
campus, where students from other local colleges mingled on the weekends.
The party was already in full swing, spilling in and out of a sliding glass
door that led into a dimly-lit basement suite.

   Shannon spotted Ruth immediately, although the two had never met.  Ruth
was appraising her as she approached.  It was like Tracey was bringing her
a nice bottle of wine, and Ruth was showing her appreciation by inspecting
the label, and sniffing the cork.

   " Have fun," Tracey yelled in Shannon's ear, just barely above the
music. "I'll let you know when you're in the clear."

   Good, Shannon thought.  The sooner they could get arrange to have Alana
see her with Ruth, this whole thing would be over, and she'd just be out
for the night with the girls.

   " You wanna make out?" Ruth suggested, handing Shannon a beer.

   " Yeah."

   " Sweet." She looked like she could hardly believe her luck.  Ruth
wasn't unattractive, but she had a bit of a rough boyish edge to her that
would probably scare people off a bit.

   They found an unoccupied sofa in a darkened corner of the room.  Shannon
took several fast gulps from her beer.  Her eyes raced across the room, to
see if her friends were anywhere close by.  No.  No one she knew.  No one
was paying attention to them at all.  It calmed her a bit that this spot
was private.  Ruth was close to her now, nudging her way into a kiss.

   Then it came.

   A rush of sensations hit Shannon all at once.  There was the warmth and
insistence of Ruth lips.  There was the taste of cigarettes on her breath.
She felt the first buzz of the beer mingle with the incredible rush of
warmth that the kiss elicited from her body.  All of the feelings layered
upon each other, paralyzing Shannon in the moment, rendering her almost
unable to breathe.

   Ruth pushed hard against her.  The girl was clear about what she wanted,
and Shannon felt herself responding to the silent commands.  Ruth didn't
waste time.  Even before the first kiss was finished, she was exploring
Shannon's body with her free hand.  Soon, she settled into groping
Shannon's ass, and grinding their bodies together as she pushed her tongue
repeatedly into Shannon's mouth.

   Shannon was receptive, of course.  That was part of the show.  But it
wasn't just for show, she knew, and she wasn't sure how she would feel
about it later.  It seemed like everything was conspiring to keep her off
balance.  Her heart was pounding with exhilaration from the physical
contact and with shame at her own physical reaction.

   How long, Shannon wondered...  a minute, two?  Jesus, this was getting
serious quickly.  She hoped they'd be able to get Alana into the room
pretty soon.

   For the moment, anyway, Shannon was struggling to keep herself from
getting carried away.  She was vaguely aware that some of the other party
goers were beginning to pay attention to them.  She shouldn't be surprised,
she supposed.  Two good looking girls making out at an off-campus party. 
Exhibitionism was part of the allure of these kinds of gatherings.

   Her self-conscious nature would normally keep her going anywhere near
the center of the attention.  Even now, she was sure her face was flushed
red with embarrassment...  but it also added immeasurably to her arousal.
She was beginning to get that empty-headed feeling again.

   Let go.

   Why not?

   Let go, and enjoy the moment, Shannon was easily convincing herself. 
Who cares that you're not a lesbian?  If people are watching, then give
them a show...  enjoy the rush of putting on a little show for a while...
revel in your shameful display...  it'll all be over soon.

   Except that it wasn't.

   As the make-out session intensified, thoughts about her friends... 
about Alana began to fade.  Her body was firmly in control now.  Shannon
was kissing back, hard.  She matched the rhythmic motions of Ruth's body,
grinding against her.

   Even when they paused to down another beer, Shannon couldn't gather her
thoughts.  The little crowd that had gathered was now cheering them on. 
Shannon couldn't wait to taste Ruth's lips again.

   So this was making out.  This was the feeling of intimacy that had been
missing from Shannon's previous sexual encounters.  And even though all
common sense told her that the circumstances were artificial and plain
wrong, Shannon couldn't get enough of it.

   She kissed Ruth's lips, her neck, and then her breasts, which had
somehow been liberated in their groping session.  A few minutes later,
Shannon felt one of the onlookers helping to remove her own blouse.  She
didn't care.

   For a brief moment, when Ruth dug her hand down into Shannon's panties,
she thought about how embarrassing it would be if one of her friends
returned now, and saw how far Shannon had let it go.  She would have a hard
time living it down, she knew.  But then, when Ruth's fingers reached their
target and found Shannon wet and inviting, the thought disappeared.

   " Fuck yeah, look at them go," one of the onlookers yelled, and nudged a
passing friend.

   " Good girl...  take it to her, Ruthie," cheered on another.

   Some of the kids had pulled out their cell phones to snap photos of the
intensifying scene.

   The heat of public humiliation barely registered now with Shannon.  She
was lost in the ongoing waves of pleasure under Ruth's touch and control.
Her body was shaking, she knew.  It wouldn't be long before she came,
whether or not Ruth continued to finger her.

   " I need to get off, " Ruth shouted in Shannon's ear.  Shannon nodded,
not at all sure what Ruth wanted from her.

   The question in her mind was soon resolved.  Ruth pulled herself away
from Shannon for only a moment, to pull down her own jeans and boxers.  The
gathering crowd cheered.  When Ruth rejoined Shannon on the couch, it was
to straddle her face.

   Some of the guys high-fived Ruth.  It was clear that they looked at her
as 'one of the guys', and were glad to see her score with the new girl.

   Those were her last moments of awareness, where Shannon understood with
crystal clarity her own shameful place in the scene.  That understanding...
that will to understand...  faded into the familiar empty-headed feeling
that accompanied Shannon losing control.  Everything after that would only
be remembered when she later masturbated to the images of this evening.

   The remorse only came in the morning.  Shannon knew she made her way
home with the other girls, but she had continued drinking and making out
with Ruth for long enough that the details were obliterated.

   One thing she understood with certainty: this would complicate things
with her friends.  Depending on how much they witnessed, her performance
would be a hard one to live down.  Despite her heavy headedness as she sat
up in bed, she was already fretting about how she would handle this brand
new weirdness.

   Patty was already up.

   Damn, Shannon thought.  Patty was *never* up early.

   As much as she dreaded the teasing she knew was coming her way, she
joined Patty in the kitchen.  There was no way to avoid her roommate for
long, she knew.

   " Damn, girl.  You were hardcore last night," Patty giggled.

   Shannon almost didn't want to know how much Patty had seen.  " Yeah, I
was sort of out of it, " she tried to deflect.

   " Not from where I was standing.  You looked like you were right into it
with Ruthie.  Phew, I guess she knows how to handle a girl, huh?"

   Shannon just blushed.

   " Too bad Alana wasn't around to see it...  that would have settled
things up pretty quickly.  "

   " Alana wasn't there?" Shannon didn't even try to hide her
disappointment.

   " No.  She went home early," Patty said matter-of-factly, but Shannon
was sure she heard a hint of cruelty in her roommate's voice.  " We would
have told you, but by the time we found out, you were *way* into it with
Ruth."

   Shannon's stomach churned.  Images of the previous evening were trying
to crowd in from the corners of her mind, distracting her as she tried hard
to interpret Patty's attitude towards her.  She was amused, certainly.  But
were they still friends?  She was worried that the events of the previous
night had changed things.

   " Of course it changed things," Elizabeth confirmed.  " You had to know,
on some level, Shannon, that you couldn't stay on the same level as those
girls for long.  They saw weakness.  They exploited it."

   " No, " Shannon argued, afraid, of course, that Elizabeth was right.  "
They were trying to help me.  It just turned out badly."

   " Okay, " the older woman teased, from her side of the desk.  " Then
tell me how things went with Ruth?"

   Shannon was surprised that Elizabeth even asked.  How could she possibly
know that things had continued with Ruth?  After that evening, Shannon had
assumed she would never see the girl again, but somehow, Elizabeth Fisher
knew enough to ask the pointed question.  Shannon squirmed as she answered.

   " We still see each other, you know, around the apartment."

   " Really?"

   " Yes.  Well, she's a friend of Tracy's, so naturally..."

   " So naturally, you knew her prior to the night of the party, because
she was always hanging out..."

   " No.  "

   " Oh, so she only began coming over...  this friend of a friend of your
roommate, *after* they engineered your humiliation at the off-campus party.
I see.  Naturally."

   Her tone made Shannon so angry.  The woman always twisted her words and
her ideas.

   " And you see her around campus now too?"

   " Well, yeah."

   " Does she attend school here?"

   " No."

   Silence.  Elizabeth waited for the explanation.

   " She comes to visit her friends.  And to see me."

   Elizabeth smiled.  "How sweet.  Just one of the girls now, hmmm?"

   Shannon knew what she was driving at.

   " No, " she confessed.  " It's because of the confusion at the party."

   " Confusion?  You mean there was something else, besides the fact that
Alana was never there that night?" The woman was feigning surprise.

   " They were supposed to tell Ruth about my situation...  how it was all
for show, just to let Alana down easy.  But they never got a chance... 
and..."

   " And now you're her girlfriend, " Elizabeth finished.

   It was true.

   Shannon wanted to be able to tell the counselor otherwise.  She wanted
to be able to prove Elizabeth wrong, but the woman rarely was...  and
Shannon had a sinking feeling that by the next time they spoke, there would
be another "I told you so" waiting for her.

   After some debate with the other girls, Patty had decided it was best
just to play it cool, and let Ruth hang out a bit until she lost interest.
In truth, Shannon was more than a little hesitant to go along.  In a
Christian girls college like Exeter, being a lesbian was a violation of the
morality contract, and grounds for expulsion.  It bothered her that the
other girls were so willing to let her risk it, just to avoid pissing Ruth
off.

   Shannon tried to avoid being alone with Ruth, but that didn't last long.
A casual Wednesday night hanging around with the more senior girls in Patty
and Shannon's room changed direction pretty quickly when Ruth arrived.  At
first the other girls seemed willing to stick around as moral support, but
then, one by one, they excused themselves.  Patty's excuse was the last,
and easily the lamest.

   " I'm going over to see Rache.  She got herself a new dog."

   Which left Shannon on the sofa, already nestled under Ruth's arm.  The
pose had seemed quite natural with the other girls over, but was now
threatening to lead to something else.

   " I'm not sure this is a good idea, Ruth." Shannon began.

   " No?" Ruth asked, but didn't pull away.  She leaned in for a quick,
soft kiss on Shannon's lips.

   " No, I don't.  I could get in trouble."

   " Uh huh..." Ruth acknowledged, with no hint of concern in her demeanor
as she pressed in for another kiss.

   " I'm serious."

   " You shouldn't be.  It's nothing to worry about.  Who's going to know?"

   Shannon could feel her body responding to Ruth's touch.  It wasn't what
she wanted, and she was trying hard to hold firm.

   " Well, my roommate, for one."

   Ruth stole another long, deep kiss.  It left Shannon breathless.

   " She's out for the night.  I'll be long gone by morning."

   The argument wasn't terribly convincing, but it didn't really need to
be. Ruth already knew how to push Shannon's buttons, and a few minutes of
necking did the rest.

   " Which one is your room?" closed the sale.

   " And you'll be gone before Patty gets back?"

   " Definitely."

   It might not have been meant as a lie at the time, but it wasn't the
truth either.  It was the first in a line of mornings where Shannon found
herself, unshowered and disheveled, making breakfast for both Ruth and
Patty, with the taste and feel of the previous evening still thick on her
face.

   Shannon wore just her panties and an undershirt, because that's the way
Ruth liked it.

   Ruth would insist that Shannon sit on her lap to eat, and would give her
girlfriend a slap on the ass when she rose to clear the plates.  That
didn't bother Shannon as much as when her roommate began to follow the
example, and grabbed her ass mockingly on the way to the sink.

   Over the course of the next couple of weeks, Shannon could feel the
balance of her relationships with her new friends tipping in a very
unhealthy direction.  Ruth was hanging out a lot.  The initial amusement
about Shannon's predicament faded into the status quo, and she was coming
to be regarded simply as "Ruthie's girl."

   Around the dorm room, Patty and Ruth came to a quick, convenient
understanding.

   Patty wouldn't make any fuss about Ruth staying over.  She wouldn't say
a word about how late or loudly Ruth decided to play.  She didn't protest
at all about the public groping and making out during the day.  In return,
she expected to share the benefits.  Shannon would clean the dorm
apartment, including Patty's room.  She also took on the laundry, dishes
and cooking.

   This domestic work was bleeding from her academic performance, and
Shannon also knew that the sex was becoming a big distraction.

   But the sex was very, very good.

   Rough.  Raunchy.  Very personal.

   This one was an actual relationship.  An unbalanced one, to be sure, but
real.  Shannon belonged, and it felt good.

   So that was the choice she was pondering, on a Thursday evening a couple
of weeks after Ruth began crashing for the evenings in the dorm apartment.

   Ruth was out late with some of her gay friends off campus.  Shannon was
up late too.  She was waiting, she supposed, though she wasn't sure it made
any sense to do so.  At least it gave her some time to catch up on her
reading.

   Patty arrived home first, dropping her oversized purse on the coffee
table and flopping down on the opposite end of the sofa.  The scent of
cigarette smoke and cheap vodka followed her into the room.

   " What a night...  you should've come out with us, Shann."

   Shannon decided not to remind her roommate that there hadn't been an
invitation.  It wouldn't help.  Patty was always going to be just a touch
thoughtless and self-involved, Shannon had concluded.

   " I had to get this reading done, " Shannon deflected.  " Philosophy is
a bitch to get through."

   If Patty had even heard, she didn't acknowledge it.

   " Would you be a dear, and give me a quick foot rub?"

   Her roommate didn't actually wait for an answer before she parked her
gritty shoes on Shannon's lap.

   Shannon closed her book, and took to the task.  She tipped off her
friend's shoes, and began to kneed the girl's sweaty left foot.

   From where she was, she knew the direction this whole scene was heading.
With not much effort, Shannon could be a pretty average student.  She could
give up the struggle to outperform her freshman classmates.  She could
concede Bethany as the winner in their rivalry.

   She could let Elizabeth Fisher be right about her.

   She could succumb to the comfortable numbness that settled over her in
moments like this, at Patty's feet, and subject to her whims.  It would
lead to other things, she knew, as Ruth shared her more fully.  Things that
made her feel warm and shameful to contemplate.

   Or, she could push back.  Shannon could step back into self-discipline.
She could work harder than anyone, and probably outperform them all, when
it came right down to it.  She could force herself to outperform her own
nature.

   Ruth interrupted Shannon's contemplations, stumbling through the front
door with two of her friends.  They were a couple of older women, both of
them quite butch.  That was Ruthie's crowd.

   " Hi sweety," she spoke only to Patty.  " You mind if a couple of the
girls crash here for the night?"

   Patty shrugged.  It wouldn't be her who had to clean up or make
breakfast.  For that matter, it wouldn't be her bed they'd be sleeping in.
Ruth gestured them on in to Shannon's room.

   Ruth stepped in behind the sofa, and took firm grasp of Shannon's hair.
She pulled Shannon's head back, not too gently, and wordlessly demanded a
kiss.

   " C'mon Shann.  I want to introduce you to my friends," she said.  She
kept firm hold of her girlfriend's hair as she led her into the room.

   The weight of the moment had pressed away the doubts and contemplation.
She almost didn't remember what she was fussing over.

   Oh yes, she remembered.  To struggle or not.

   But anticipation of what would happen that night in her room was already
upon her.

   And really, in that very moment, it didn't seem like such a hard
decision after all.

   ***

   Comments can be forwarded to: orestesw@yahoo.com All of my stories can
be found at: ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Orestes