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 Crown of Thorns Chapter 6



   I felt a profound fear of being discovered, I couldn't handle it.  An
audible yelp came from my mouth followed quickly by bugging eyes and
rattled nervous.  I looked over toward Terry expecting to see the exact
same expression only to see one of amusement and relaxation.  "What the
hell," I whispered.



   "Dude, relax," he said.  Then he leaned in and gave me a peck on the
cheek.  I looked at him in total shock, I turned my head quickly to see his
mom, beaming with glee at the two of us.



   "Whaa..."



   "Terry, stop torturing the poor boy."

   "Julian, she knows." With that he gave me another small kiss right on
the lips, got up, and gave his mother a hug.  I sat there, like an idiot,
completely dumbfounded at this situation.

   'What if she tells,' I kept telling myself.  I felt a hand on my
shoulder and I jumped at the contact.

   "Are you OK?" Terry asked.

   "Yea, fine," I stuttered, "Great."

   Obviously sensing my discomfort he said, "Dude, its ok.  She is cool
with it and I swore her to secrecy.  In terms of coming out, it is my ball.
Well, our ball." I stared at him.  With that last phrase, he welcomed me
completely into his life.  He looked at me for a minute, then gave me a
really weird smirk.  "Come on, I bet your hungry."

   As if on cue, my stomach rumbled.  I looked down then into his eyes.  At
the very same instant, we cracked up.  "Yea, I guess I am a bit," I said
between giggles.  "But, I'm used to it.  You don't have to if you don't
want to." He stopped laughing.  "What, did I say something wrong?"

   He pulled me into a hug, "Of course don't have to, I want to.  Even
something as small and mundane as giving you food brings me joy as long as
you are happy."

   "Thanks, you have no idea what you mean to me right now." I hugged him
harder.  I was slowly sobbing into his shoulder.

   "Dude, you're going to kill me if you don't loosen up." I did so and he
saw the tear.  Caringly he swept it away.  "I love you," he whispered.

   "And I you."

   "Aww, how cute, now come on in you two, before you cause a scene which
is only right for the bedroom," his mom pronounced.

   Again thunderstruck as to the ease Terry and his mom talked about gays,
I told Terry that we were going to have a little talk later.

   We had a small snack of the traditional cookies and milk.  During,
Terry's mom drilled me.  I avoided all questions pertaining to my family.
Terry helped by continually changing the subject.  Thank goodness that at
least one person knows what to do.  Afterward, him and I went to his room.
As I stepped in, my eyes bulged out of their sockets.

   "I take it you like?"

   "More than, I haven't seen this much in a room.  In fact, I haven't seen
a larger bedroom.  Yea, I like what I see." I looked straight at him.  "But
I like what I see now, better."

   "You are the king of corny."

   "Shut up," I said as I ran to tackle him on his bed.  He backed away and
I slammed into his chest and tossed him and myself on to the bed, where I
preceded to tackle him.  He however, was not prepared for the tickle battle
the perused.  It was more like an onslaught.  I grabbed him underneath the
arms and tickled until his breath became short and laughing so hard he had
to almost piss in his pants.

   "Up, Up, he gasped." I obliged and let him up.  He took a moment to
regain his breath.  Without a single shred of restraint he assaulted my
ribs resulting in an outstanding cry.  Ten seconds after his hands touched
me and tears were pouring from my eyes.  "Oh, my God."

   I placed my hands where his left in a vein attempts to relieve the pain.
I looked up into his face and put a forced smile onto my face.  He was
frantic, almost at the verge of beating himself up.  "Shhhh," I told him,
"Its fine really."

   "No, I am so sorry.  I should have remembered.  It is all my fault."

   "Come here," I commanded.  He did so.  "Come here." I pulled him on top
of me softly.  He sobbed into my shoulder.  "Shh, its ok.  I'm fine.  Just
got to remember that I am a little sore in a few places."

   He got up and looked down at me.  His face came within inches of mine
and he whispered, "I'm sorry." Then he methodically kissed off the tears.

   While he feathered me with kisses something strange happened inside of
me.  I felt different somehow.  I can't really explain it.  More like a
feeling that I have inside.  Overwhelming joy might be a good start.  Maybe
it is the fact that it has been a long time since I was cared for like
this, or maybe it is just that I was cared for by him.  I really felt
loved. I wrapped my arms around him and planned on never letting him go. 
He tried to get up but I held firm.  "There is no way you are leaving my
grasp," I told him.

   He only smiled and relaxed a bit.  "I really don't want to, but I do
have some homework to finish, and I bet you do too.  Think of it, you and I
could do Math together.

   "I know that is not a good idea."

   "Why not?"

   "You got me so worked up I am about to spring a bone.  And you said
friends first.  I don't want to approach that aspect of the relationship
yet.  Although physically so right, I don't feel so right emotionally."

   "Oh," was all he said.

   "What is it."

   "I was just thinking that we could, would work around that.  I feel the
same way." I smiled for like the tenth time today.  "But I think it could
work."

   Surprisingly it did.  We worked on our math homework for an hour before
I had to go home.  I dreaded going home.  I was a simple matter that left
me insane on the way home.  Was he awake, or passed out.  I prayed that he
was passed out.  When I arrived I walked in and headed up the stairs.  I
didn't say a word, because I knew that would only cause trouble.  I was
left alone all night, I didn't say a thing and not a thing was said to me.
I was thankful for that.

   Recently I haven't been getting beat, this question lulled in my mind as
I went to bed.  It could be a good thing, but more likely, he was saving it
up.  Each minute I was there, I fell into fear.  With the openness and the
attitudes my friends have shone.  I felt what my dad was doing wasn't
vengeance, but pure wrongly placed aggression.  And that was wrong. 
Although I realized that, I could do nothing about it.  I still had the
problem that I would have nowhere to go, and what of my two brothers, how
would they feel.  I eventually fell asleep.

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   School the next day was weird.  I felt compelled to find Terry all day.
To hold his had and smother him in kisses.  I couldn't I knew it.  It
bugged me to death.  When I opened my locker for the fist time that morning
a note fell from it.  Obviously interested, I opened it.

   Dear Julian,

   I have known you for all of a few months yet, I had no idea as to your
bruises, please accept my sincere apology for being so ignorant.  I want
you to know how much I love you.  Julian, you have no idea how much you
mean to me.  I want you so bad in my arms forever. it pains me to see you
in black and blue.  I am sorry, I don't think that I will get over that. 
That is why I am offering my home as a refuge to yours.  Anytime, day or
night you are welcome at the front door.

   I would love to tell you that I love you and want to spend the rest of
my life with you, but I feel that is a commitment I want to make in person,
to your face.  I love you Julian, more than you can realize.  I know that
sounds so corny, but right now I feel the necessity to tell you.  Ok, so
now you know that I am not very articulate with my feelings in writing. 
Just wanted to remind you.



   Love,

   Terry.

   I felt so special so loved.  In math class that day I told him thank
you. Play practice was much the same way.  Distracted and distant and I
heard about if from Mr.  Jenks.

   "What is it today with you, Julian.  Distracted?"



   Admitting the obvious I said, "Yea."

   "Get over it, I need you in the here and the now." I looked over at
Terry and shrugged my shoulders.

   That night, I went home and was beat.  Not horribly, I did catch I nice
one in the leg.  But I went to bed in pain, but I was in a good mood that
that pain was overshadowed by that love that was much greater.  As I fell
asleep, I felt comforted.  Strange, but I felt comforted.