Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 {Norm DaPlume} New story:My Fourth Birthday
(humor,magic,m/F,MF,best,nc,anal)

   The main character gets an unexpected surprise for his birthday.



   THIS WORK IS COPYRIGHTED BY NORM DAPLUME 2012.  IT IS FREE TO READ AND
DISTRIBUTE FOR READING PURPOSES BY MEMBERS OF THE "ALTERNATE SEX STORIES"
(ASS) AND ITS ASSOCIATED WEB SITES, INCLUDING THE "TEXT REPOSITORY."
"ASSTR" AND THE "MODERATED REPOSITORY" (ASSM) THE AUTHER RESERVES THE RIGHT
TO RESTRICT THE FREE USE TO NON-COMMERCIAL USE.  THEREFORE, IT IS NOT FREE
TO DISTRIBUTE FOR COMMERCIAL PURPOSES WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE
AUTHOR.

   My Fourth Birthday

   By Norm DaPlume

   It was February Twenty Ninth Two thousand and twelve, and it was my
fourth birthday.  Actually, I was sixteen but because I was born on the
leap day, technically, I was only four.

   I don't suppose I have to explain to you how embarrassing it is to be
only four years old and how many times I've had to explain it to people. 
Suffice it to say that I have been subject to ridicule on far too many
occasions.

   Anyhow, in addition to being my birthday, February twenty ninths were
always magical days for me.  I never knew what to expect.  This birthday
was no different.

   It started out much the same way every morning did, with a struggle to
wrench myself out of the caverns of lethargical sleep, in which I find
myself, prior to waking, every day.

   After waking up, I dragged my body to the bathroom, took a piss and a
shit, showered, scraped a razor across my face and combed my hair.

   Then, I put on my boxer shorts and an 'A-Shirt' and sat reading the
morning paper as I ate breakfast.

   On page four, my eye was drawn to an advertisement for women's negligee.
As I stared at the ad, I thought for a moment that the woman in the
nightgown winked at me.

   When I did a second take, the woman winked again.  Instinctively, I
winked back.  Damn, I thought, wouldn't it be cool if the woman in this ad
was real.  Suddenly, the ad was in full color and the woman fleshed out and
started moving.

   Startled, I dropped the paper and instead of falling to the floor, the
woman stood out of the paper and sat on my lap.  "Call me Luta." She said
in a French accent.

   Breathlessly, I whispered the only thing I could think of to say.  "Hi,
I'm Seth."

   A sizable erection formed in my boxers underneath her, almost
immediately and I was certain that she could feel it, after it began poking
her in the buttock.  I was embarrassed at first, but then Luta said, "I see
you like Luta.  Yes?  That's good." Luta spread her legs apart and grabbed
my organ now wrapped in my boxers and her nightgown, from between her legs.


   For a few minutes, Luta began rubbing my penis still wrapped within her
gown and my shorts.  I started to moan with delight.  Then she said
"Pleeeze, let Luta see le papier."

   I sat at the table while Luta picked up the paper and watched her
unbelievable figure with disbelieving eyes as she turned the pages.  After
a few moments, Luta had found an ad with a picture of a man in pajamas.  To
my chagrin, the man with the pajamas winked at Luta and before I knew what
was happening, the man was standing in front of her.

   Luta reached down and grabbed the man's penis and it was quite a
significant organ.  "Luta like." She said.  Luta stood up from my lap and
began a long sensuous kiss with 'pajama man'.  Then pajama man reached down
and began petting Luta's honey pot.

   It didn't take me long to recognize that nobody was paying any attention
to me.  In light of the situation I began to feel a little lonely, jealous
and uncared for.

   After thinking a moment I decided on a plan of action.  I went to my
bookshelf where I took out a 'Victoria's Secret' catalog and began going
through it.  It took me quite a while to decide on one, but finally, I
turned to a woman I found acceptable.  Welllllll, 'acceptable' isn't
totally accurate.  Maybe 'willing to settle for' would be more correct. 
Noooooooo, that makes it sound like I didn't like any of them.  I liked
them all.  Actually, I had trouble picking one because there wasn't a
single one in there who was less than a nine point nine.  It made it so
hard to decide, they were all so unbelievably sexy.  I finally decided on
one simply because she was wearing what I thought was the most attractive
attire.

   Anyhow, I finally chose one and sure enough, she winked, I winked, the
catalog got really heavy, it wound up falling to the floor, and the one I
had chosen came to life and started kissing me.  "Call me Marvella," she
said In a Spanish accent during a pause from the kissing.

   "Call me Seth," I answered, breathlessly, half whispering.

   Oh God, was Marvella ever unbelievable.  Her lips were so sweet and
after just a few seconds, she started massaging my penis and by God, did
she ever know how to make a man happy.

   So, there I was kissing Marvella and beginning to feel up her already
dripping yumyum and before you could say "God, you are so totally hot," we
were naked (Not that we were wearing all that much to begin with.) But just
as suddenly as she had warmed up to me, it seemed as if her interest in me
started waning.  When I looked at her, she was staring down at the floor.
The focus of her view was a catalog on the floor.  Inadvertently while I
was pulling out the 'Victoria's Secret' Catalog, I had also pulled out a
'Tall and Big Men's' Catalog.  Over the course of the next minute she
stopped teasing me and began thumbing through the catalog.

   To my frustration, after going through the catalog for only a few
moments, she settled upon a picture of a man in the 'Tall and Big Men's'
catalog wearing a jogging suit.  When he jumped to life, he was quite tall,
and as it turned out he was certainly big.  Marvella dropped me like a
moldy peach.  She got up and began whispering into the 'Big Man's' ear.

   "Marvella like Beeg Man." She said.  %

   The Big Man said "I'm Jorje," (Pronounced hor-hay, by the way, he's a
Latino.) "Why do-wun't you go forgate this guyie.  Laits find the baydroom
and I'll show you why I'm in the beeg and long mein's saiction."

   I was totally frustrated, not to mention suffering an inferiority
complex and an extreme case of blue balls.

   I looked around the room and my eye fell upon an issue of 'People
Magazine.' "I'll find myself a celebrity and go have a ball with her," I
decided.  "That'll teach Marvella and Luta a lesson." I thought.

   I opened the issue of 'People Magazine' and thumbed through the pages.
As I scanned the pages, I saw an article about two Hollywood movie stars
who got married.  The article was not about the two stars though, it was
about how their two thoroughbred dogs had attended the wedding.

   The photo wasn't of the movie stars either.  The photo was of the two
Saint Bernard dogs the stars each owned.  In the snapshot, one of the dogs
was mounting the other dog, the way that dogs do.  They were mating.

   As I stared at the photo, the dog who was in the front seemed to wink at
me.  Instinctively, I winked back.

   Suddenly, felt an uncomfortable rush tingling through my entire body, as
if soda was fizzing in my veins.  The world seemed to turn around and
around.  When the motion stopped, I was staring at the underside of my
kitchen table.  Marvella and Jorje were fondling each other big time, and
Luta and 'pajama man' were gone.

   The world seemed strangely tilted as if I was looking up at things from
the floor, and was on all fours, leaning forward on my elbows and on my
haunches.  My ear was wet.  I tried flexing my arm to try to right myself
but my body seemed strangely stiff, as if I was paralyzed.  I tried turning
my head and only my eyes would move.  Horror filled my face as I realized
that some beast had its front paws on my back.  It was one of the dogs from
the picture.

   As I stared out into the kitchen, I realized that the other dog which
had formerly been in the photo was sitting patiently in the kitchen, at
Marvella's side, wagging its tail.

   Marvella reached over to pet the dog and Jorje reached down to pick up
the 'People Magazine' up from the floor.  I screamed as loudly as I could,
but nobody heard me, or if they did, they didn't pay any attention to me.
As Jorje picked the magazine up, he closed its pages and blackness
descended upon me.

   My only sensations then, were that of hot breath and an occasional wet
tongue on my ear, the bracing of paws and hair on my back and a painful,
dull pounding on my butt hole.

   Vaguely, from somewhere in the distance I heard Marvella and Luta
singing the impassioned songs of appreciation that I knew should have been
for me.

   The End %

   Did you like this story?

   Please take the time to email just a short note to me to show me your
appreciation.

   It would be a great boost to my self-esteem to hear from you.

   NormDaPlum@gmail.com