Growing Pains By Nikki Kernovii December 2003 A Journey (M-Solo,Voy,FD,TG)1 I sat in the branches of the large hedge, glad to be out of sight for a while. The longer I stared at the branches the more I thought about the possibilities and the more I determined to make something of it. During the next few weeks I scavenged as much wood as I could and stockpiled it behind the small garden shed. When I was sent to the newsagents shop at the weekend I also visited the hardware shop a few doors away and spent my meagre pocket money on a few small bags of nails and screws. Then I just had to watch and wait. If the purpose of the exercise were to have a quiet place of my own then the building would have to be restricted to the hour after school when I was often on my own. It took nearly a fortnight of sneaked half hours to build the basic platform. It took at least another month to build the sides. A couple of tins of waste paint helped to camouflage the wood. The roof proved rather tricky and was several weeks in the making. Even whilst my secret tree house was under construction it was still a quiet place to go to be alone. Once it was completed I was very pleased with myself. Here was my little bolthole. From the shelter of the little room I could see the whole of our own garden and most of the neighbours and yet it was almost invisible until right inside the tree line. And nobody got that close except me. Since Dad had left nearly Five years ago, I had taken on the duty of mowing the moderate back lawn. The rest of the garden paths and patios were pretty much left to themselves. Mum was perpetually tired and showed little interest in any extra work such as gardening. She liked to keep the front garden tidy "For appearances". So her little relaxations were tending the Roses and Rhododendrons round the small lawn and driveway at the front. The neighbours tolerated us from the days when we were comfortably middle class, but after the divorce rather than rallying round to help they had been somewhat cold and distant. Carol, my older sister was generally too busy studying to worry too much about the garden or me. 2 One Saturday afternoon, about a month after I had completed the tree house I was sitting in my usual position when I felt a lump by my shoulder. On turning round to investigate and found a knot in the wood was working loose. I tapped it to try to fit it back tighter into its hole but instead the knot spilt and fell to the floor. I wondered if it was going to be a problem so placed my eye close to the hole and looked around. Through the trees I found I was looking almost directly into the bedroom of Elaine, the daughter of the family next door. Elaine was about 20 years old, very petite and absolutely stunning. I usually saw very little of her, as the hedge was a very effective barrier to our garden. She worked during the day and had a reputation for partying every night. Just at that moment, it seemed, she was getting ready to party. She stood almost naked, illuminated by the last rays of the evening sun that were shinning right into her bedroom. I stared in awe as she opened her cupboard and pulled out small frilly things and started to get dressed. She held up minute lacy blue things that I barely recognised. I could not have pulled my eyes away from that hole if I had tried. Of course I knew about underclothes in a general, round about sort of way, but I had not given the subject much thought. Now I was seeing a real girl putting on real things and was completely entranced. Elaine struggled into a tight black dress that showed her remarkable body to perfection. She sat at her dressing table and started brushing her hair. Her hair was dark brown and fashioned into a trendy Bob that framed her pretty features. Eventually she stood and left the room. A few moments later I heard a door slam, followed by the roar of her little sports car. She must have been well down the road before I forced myself to sit back and tear myself away from the little knothole. For some time I just sat there and replayed on my mental film screen, the vision of Elaine getting dressed, and tried to come to terms with the strange feelings inside me. About a week later, I had a rare opportunity to sit in my tree house straight after school. It had been another bad day at school and I wanted some solitude. Looking through the little knot, I was disappointed to see the house apparently empty. However fluttering in the gentle breeze was a washing line full of newly washed clothes. Including the very same small lacy items that I had seen Elaine wearing a few days before. The lacy blue bra was almost within arms reach. Next to it was a pair of minute lacy blue panties that took my breath away. There was so little of them. The front panel of light blue lace was virtually transparent in the afternoon sun. If I had been closer to Elaine the previous week I would have seen all the interesting bits that boys long to see. For ages I sat and stared at them, replaying again the vision of Elaine getting dressed and wondering what she would have looked like if I had been closer. 3 In early July every year, the town held its Carnival week. This year my older sister Carol had somehow been roped into helping. The sixth form, having finished their exams, were all keen to help with the fund raising and letting off a bit of steam before the holidays. They had organised the loan of a tractor with a large trailer and the girls were going to dress up as girls from the Film "St Trinians". Many of the girls were openly glad to try to break their hockey sticks, which they hoped would never be used again. On the Saturday morning Carols friends "Fizz" and "Lou" came round, loaded down with bags. For several hours the sound of girls giggling, sometimes almost hysterically, came from Carols' room. When they appeared downstairs for a bite of lunch shortly before they had to leave they were dressed outrageously. I could not tare my eyes away from them. They had rolled the waistbands of their green school skirts up so that they were much shorter than regulations would allow. Their legs were covered with, what I then learned were, stockings. The milky white of their thighs, contrasted provocatively with the dark of the elastic tops, which were visible below their short skirts. They wore regulation white blouses with green and yellow school ties tied in huge knots. They wore their school hats, which they must have dragged from some dark crevice, because I know that Carol had not worn hers for several years, since the rules had been relaxed. They also had on their old school blazers, which were now several sizes too small and mostly green with worn out patches. Altogether they looked extremely scruffy and yet attractive at the same time. Mother tutted and pursed her lips at them but the girls just laughed and said it was "All in a good cause". As I sat over lunch I found myself admiring Fizz's legs as they disappeared under her short green skirt. As she giggled and laughed she wriggled and I was treated to glimpses of green that I knew had to be her panties. I kept looking down and sure enough there was a flash of green curving down beautifully between her thighs. The sun was kind at the carnival. It was both well presented and well attended. There must have been 25 to 30 lorries, vans and trailers, and the streets were lined with cheering people. As the "St Trinians" float came by I waved and shouted at my sister and her friends. About half a dozen other girls from the school were also on and round the trailer, swinging their hockey sticks and holding out buckets to collect the money thrown at them. They girls took it in turns standing on the trailer or walking alongside it. Just as the float came past me, Fizz was scrambling up on to the trailer. She knelt on the edge and shouted for another girl to give her a hand. As she hung there, her skirt rose up over her backside presenting everyone, including me, with a view of her green clad bottom. I stared in open admiration at the full gentle curves. Time seemed to stop as she waited for the other girl to reach over and grab her hand. There in front of me were two beautiful mounds and a little cleft between. As Fizz stood up, my eyes followed her. She grabbed her hockey stick and did several mock twirls with it. All the while laughing and shouting, her skirt flying almost horizontal in the wind. There were her panties visible up to her waist. And there for the first time I saw a full, female pudendum. A beautiful mound below her belly covered in the green cotton of the old school knickers. These, like the jackets, had obviously not been worn for a while and were really too small. I quickly looked around, but nobody else seemed to have noticed. It was all over in seconds and yet it had seemed like ages to me, but still not long enough. My mouth was dry and I felt almost giddy. I found myself looking round at the other girls, and then struggling through the crowd to stay alongside the float as it went down the high street. Several times I caught, tantalising glimpses of other girls' panties as they climbed on or off the trailer, or spun round wielding their hockey sticks. I admired and enjoyed all of them, but mostly Fizz. She was a loud girl at the best of times, and seemed to be really letting go and throwing herself into her role with enthusiasm. Time and again she spun round giving us all a perfect view of her little green panties. By the time I headed for home I had an ache deep in my groin that I could not explain. I forgot about it as Mother had me help prepare food for the girls who were going to stay to tea after the carnival. The girls arrived at about five o'clock still high on laughter and giggles. They sat at the table whilst Mother fussed around them. Again I found myself more interested in Fizz's legs than my own tea. Several times I was treated to a view of the green cotton. As Lou told a story Fizz sat for a while with her legs almost open and I could see her delightful curve in all its' splendour. After tea I had to help Mother clear the things away while the girls went to Carols room to get changed. Later as I headed to my room, I heard a muffled snort. I looked over and saw Carols door was not fully shut. Carols friend Lou was standing by the door, her back towards me. She wore stockings, though these were pulled higher up her legs and I noticed they were not the torn ones she had worn earlier. The stockings were held up by light pink belt. Lou was pulling on a pair of shiny, silky, pink panties that matched the belt. Lou was a little plumper than Fizz or Carol, though plump is perhaps too strong a word. She was not fat but certainly well covered and did not have such a pronounced waist. To my young eyes however, the sight of her pulling on those little pink panties and the curves of her bottom covered in such delightful shiny silk was almost heaven. I watched as she pulled a matching pink bra up her arms and reached behind to fasten it. I would have loved to see more, but she was partly obscured by the half closed door. I stood almost breathless, hoping not be discovered. Lou pulled up a light, pink, silky, skirt that was more of an underskirt. I yearned to reach out and touch it. Then the moment was gone. Lou must have moved forward to finish getting dressed. I hesitated for a while but shortly after the door was knocked and I could see no more. I lay on my bed struggling for breath. That night I hardly slept and when I did I had strange dreams. 4 During the Week following the Carnival I could not keep the many visions of those panties clad bottoms out of my mind. Some days later I arrived home from school and was on my way to my room when I saw my sisters' bedroom door still open and inside her clothes drawer also slightly open. It had probably been left thus, many times in the past, and I had not noticed. Now I seemed drawn as if by powerful magnets. I dropped my school bag and crept into the room. I really did not need to creep, as I knew the house was still empty, but somehow it seemed such an illicit thing I was doing that I instinctively crept in. A little tug on the handles pulled the drawer further open to reveal a neatly arranged pile of my sisters' pretty little undies. I flicked slowly through the pile and was amazed at the variety of colours, styles and sizes: Simple cotton panties in various colours, small lacy thongs that could not have left much to the imagination, some with lacy panels, small briefs with beautiful embroidery. There were other things in the drawer as well. Corset type things. Belts like Lou had worn to hold up her stockings, in various colours and styles and piles of stockings. There were also several unopened packs of stockings and tights. I was lost in dreamy reverie when I heard the front door open. I quickly rushed to my room to change out of my school clothes. I has just grabbed my bag and dropped it in my room when Carol came storming up the stairs. Over dinner I kept looking at her. I felt a mixture of guilt at poking in her belongings, and interest to wonder what it was she was wearing and what she looked like when wearing some of the lovely things in her clothes drawer. Carol kept looking back at me, giving me strange looks and catching my eye. 5 At last mid July arrived and school broke up for the summer holidays. Carol was very bright. She passed her exams with flying colours and would be going to university in the autumn. I had done reasonably well in my end of term exams so Mother did not have to give me too onerous a pile of homework. Mother decided that the daily chores would have to change for the summer. The three of us already took it in turns to do the dishes each day. I was told that I would have too learn to do some cooking so that I could help when Carol left in the Autumn. I already had to clean my own room at least once a week. I was now, also to load the washing machine on Mondays and Thursdays, hang any wet stuff up to dry and sort the dry stuff into piles to go to whom ever it belonged to. Big Sis was helpful and quite happy to swap on those occasions when I wanted to do something else. The weather was superb and I spent little time indoors. I raced through my jobs as quickly as I could. My first attempt at the washing brought scorn as I tried to separate the white and coloured items. Carol made a point of emphasising her `Lingerie' that I... `Had better cool wash or do by hand because it would not do to spoil it with the other things.' Mother agreed, and together they showed me, despite my reluctance, how to hand wash. I blushed the whole time I was scrubbing at the silky slips and knickers. I could not help visualising them in other circumstances. As the day progressed the pain in my groin returned. I moped around and could not get interested in the river or the trees. When the washing was clean and dry I folded it all and put it in the airier. For some strange reason I gently stroked the soft knickers on the top of the pile until a noise behind me tore me from my reverie. I turned blushing at my guilty thoughts, but there was nothing there. With relief, I ambled back towards my room. 6 The morning began dull so I was in no hurry to be outdoors. I ambled about doing my chores until lunchtime. In the afternoon it brightened so I mowed the lawn then retreated to my tree house. As usual I surveyed the area then looked through the empty knothole in case Elaine happened to be in. She rarely was. At first I was disappointed. Her bedroom was empty. Then I caught movement in the sitting room. There was a man on the sofa dressed in dark clothes that had partly hidden him. He was leaning over and obviously kissing Elaine whose small size was mostly hidden by the presence of the large male. For some time they simply kissed, then I saw his hand rest on her leg, and gently slide upwards. I felt a pang of jealousy. Lucky guy. He continued to slide upwards until his had disappeared under her fawn skirt. For ages neither of them seemed to move, then the guy moved and lifted Elaine's skirt. She lifted her hips off the sofa, clinging to his neck as he tugged her skirt higher, almost to her waist. As she lowered herself down again, her legs parted and the guy moved his hand back down, so that I only had a brief glimpse of black with what looked like a little red heart to the side. For ages his hand moved but left little for me to see. Elaine was obviously enjoying herself as she slowly slid lower down on the sofa and her legs opened wider. The Guys' hand slid up her front, a finger curled over the elastic then his hand plunged down inside her panties. Elaine shook, and dropped her hand from his neck to his lap. For a while they both wriggled and both hands seemed busy. Then the guy leant back. He knelt on the floor in front of the sofa, lifted Elaine's legs onto his shoulders and dropped his face between her legs. I gasped. I did not know people did that sort of thing. For a moment, I thought that it was somehow dirty. But the look on Elaine's face was one of rapture. Whatever the guy was doing, she was really enjoying it. I wanted to be able to give someone that much pleasure. For maybe ten minutes the guys' head bobbed up and down, backwards and forwards, and all the while Elaine's legs were twitching more and with her eyes squeezed closed, her head swung wildly when suddenly she went rigid. She gripped the guy, shook a few times and went limp. She looked as though she had some sort of fit. The radiant smile on her face as she grabbed the guys' ears and pulled his face towards hers, said that she was very happy. The guy stood, pulled Elaine to him then they left the room. I saw a brief movement a few moments later as they passed the window in Elaine's room before they moved out of view again. All was still for a while and I eventually realised I would have to do something about my dry mouth. I went inside for a drink, and then snuck outside again. Nothing happened for ages and I was getting bored. I was nearly ready to leave when I saw the guy, now naked stand and start putting a shirt on. Elaine's hands snaked round his neck and they kissed, then she helped him dress. She made no move to cover herself. Her small pert shapely breasts stood proudly to attention. When the guy was dressed he moved towards the door and I could see Elaine had on only the little black panties with the red heart motif. I heard the front door slam A few minutes later Elaine went back to her room and, still wearing only the tiny black panties, began pulling clothes from her cupboard. I was transfixed at the beautiful curve of her pretty little bottom, and continued staring at her as she gathered the clothes and headed out of the room. I saw movement in the bathroom and assumed she was going for a bath or shower. I would love to have stayed, but suppertime drove me indoors. 7 Mother commented on my distant manner. I could not get interested in anything. The next day was much the same. I ambled through my chores then went for a walk. I ended up at the recreation ground and played with some friends from school for a while. But I was un-enthusiastic and they lost interest in me and I eventually wandered slowly home. Mother fussed and moaned at me over dinner, so I soon retreated to my tree house for some quiet. As usual I checked though the knot hole, but as was so often the case the Neighbours house was in darkness. I started to pull back when a flicker caught my eye. There were a few items on the washing line but they were just on the edge of my field of vision. In a daze I made my way out of the tree house and along the branches to where the items were hanging. There, just a few feet away from me, were Elaine's little black panties. There was the red embroidered heart on the front. Without thought I reached out and touched them. The soft material caused a mixture of feelings and emotions to run though me. Maybe it was fate that lead me on, but as I reached out, the branch I was standing on started to give way. I fell forward, still with the panties in my hand. The peg pinged just as I caught my balance and suddenly the panties were in my hand. I swayed on the creaking branch for a while to steady myself. When I looked back at the washing line I realised that I could not reach out and put them back. I wobbled on the branch for some time then, realising I may be visible I quickly slipped back into the tree house, still clutching the little black panties. I felt a strange tingling excitement. Here I was holding the very panties that Elaine had been wearing when the guy had kissed her and played with her and given her so much pleasure. Here were the panties that looked so utterly delightful when stretched over her cute little bottom. That curved in and out in interesting ways across her most intimate parts. There was the thrill of the forbidden. There was also undoubtedly the thrill of the memory. I sat for ages simply holding them and stroking them. When eventually darkness drove me back indoors I quickly thrust the panties in my pocket, then after a moments rethink pulled them out and pushed them down inside my own pants. As I walked towards the house I thrilled at the feel of them against my stiffening penis. When I changed into my pyjamas I did not know where to hide the things so temporarily thrust them under my pillow, performed my usual ablutions and went to bed. All night I clutched at the lovely soft panties and dreamt strange dreams. In the morning my pyjamas were very sticky. I realised I had had "A wet dream". 8 About the second week of the summer I couldn't find any of my usual Y-fronts in my drawer. When I went to moan at Mother she told me off for still being in my pyjamas, then told me off, as breakfast was nearly ready and to hurry up. I didn't get the chance to voice my problem so stomped back upstairs. Carol was just finishing in the bathroom and noticed my clouds of thunder, so I told her. "Well wear something else then. Wear some of mine. " She suggested. "Don't be silly" I replied. "Why? I'm just trying to help. Twit. It can only be because you skipped your chores yesterday. Anyway who's going to know? And you jolly well can't go out without something on, it's un-hygienic." I gave in and she led me to her bedroom and handed me a pair of rather pretty pink cotton panties. I grabbed them, mumbled a quick thank you and rushed back to my room to dress quickly. I made it to breakfast at the same time as Carol. All day I was aware of the feel of the panties and the way they were cut differently to my normal attire. The material was softer than the rather harsh feel of my normal y-fronts. It was not unpleasant, but every time I thought about it I was aware of them and wondered who might be looking. I felt guilty and odd and kept blushing. That caused me to get an erection, which I then felt must be obvious to all onlookers. It was ghastly and I couldn't wait to get home. After tea I saw Carol and Fizz with their heads together whispering and felt sure they were talking about me. They kept giggling and putting their hands to their faces in a typically girlish way that would actually look pretty if it was not for the fact that I felt so embarrassed at my predicament. That night I was glad to get into my pyjamas and quickly hid the offending knickers in the wash basket. 9 Carol's eighteenth birthday arrived. Before breakfast we gathered round as Carol opened her presents and cards. There seemed so many of them. I tried not to begrudge her the presents. She had loads of things. And Mother had really gone to town. We all hurried back upstairs to dress and to my horror there were again no pants in my clothes drawer. As I went out to complain, Carol saw me and spun to show me a dress she was holding against herself. It did look very pretty. Then she noticed the chagrin on my face. I told her my problem. "Again! Well that's all right. Here I've only just put these on but I've changed my mind." She put the dress down and calmly stepped out of her knickers and handed them to me. It had been many years since I had seen her naked, and was mesmerised by the thick bush of dark hair between her legs. "Come on take them. I'm going to wear these new ones. Look real silk." The awe in her voice was obvious. These were grown up. She thrust the white cotton panties at me and picked up one of her open parcels, a present from our absentee father. She pulled out a pair of dazzling blue pants that shimmered in the morning sun. She pulled them on and smoothed them to her body. They clung and moulded to her. They looked amazingly nice. Stuttering at first, I just gapped at her, then I ran back to my room, trying to hide the throbbing organ that threatened to poke out of my pyjamas. I pulled the still warm panties on in a daze. Once dressed I walked stiffly down to breakfast. As I ate I could not get the picture of Carol in her blue silk knickers out of my mind and that led to thinking about the smooth, white, cotton panties on my own body, and that led to me worrying about my stiff organ. I had never had a stiffy for so long before and it ached. The day was a disaster. Every girl I saw I stared at, wondering what she was wearing underneath. I Imagined knickers of various styles and colours. I pictured in my mind their curved pudenda's covered in cotton or silk or nylon. The curvy, round, spongy bottoms covered or half covered in the thin exciting material. Maybe with hair of various shades peeking interestingly round the edges. Several times I got nudged for day dreaming and blushed furiously. By evening my groin ached. Carol had several friends round for tea. After they had eaten, and drunk some wine. (Something Mother would not allow us to do before we were `Grown up'), the girls went chattering up to Carol's room. I could hear them giggling and chatting. Feeling lonely and jealous, I peered through the crack in the door of Carol's room. The girls were all in a state of semi undress modelling Carol's clothes, staring at themselves in the mirror and admiring each other. "Fizz", was wearing dark blue stockings, held up by small blue straps from a thin lacy blue belt at her waist. As she moved, the elastic straps pulled at her knickers. Her silky dark hairs peeked at the world and I was enchanted. The straps framed her. Calling her pretty, minute, knickers to attention. My organ ached at the sight and I pushed it downwards to stop the pain. Carol removed her dress and spun around showing everyone the lovely blue silk panties she had been given that day. She lay back on her bed making no effort to cover up. Lou then stood up and lifted her skirt. "These are my favourite" she said, showing us all a pair of small black lacy panties that were almost completely see through.. They were thin and high at the waist. As she spun round she showed that they did not cover her plump round bottom but had a thin strip that disappeared between her cheeks. "If I'm depressed or upset I go shopping." She said. "I always find buying a good pair of panties makes the day better. Nothing quite like feeling sexy and sensual to cheer you up." She looked around her. "Well that's what I think." She dropped her skirt again. I had to push down on the painful lump in my trousers, as it thrust against my trousers and suddenly I was pumping sticky fluid into the knickers. I closed my eyes and felt a great sense of relief. I knew what had happened. I had had an orgasm. I had `Come'. I did not know whether to be happy, proud or embarrassed. I was certainly glad because the pain that had been building in my groin had gone. As soon as I could I fled to my room. After some time I tried to clean up the mess a bit. I was glad to change into my pyjamas early and put the sticky panties into the washing basket. I went downstairs again and helped Mother to clear up from Carol's party. As I was clearing out the rubbish I found several of Mothers old mail order catalogues. One rather thick one was wedged open and fell to the floor at a page showing a woman wearing the same panties that Carol had had as a present. I stared at it in awe for a moment. Then I quickly kicked the catalogue under the sofa whilst I cleared up the rest of the rubbish. I waited until everyone was busy before secretly sneaking the catalogue up to my room. It was then that I discovered a whole section devoted to pages full of pictures of women in a wonderful range of underwear. There was another section of girls in wonderful swimming costumes all showing their delightful bodies to be admired. I cut the pages from the catalogues before sneaking the rest down to the waste bin next day. I had discovered the whole exciting world of `Lingerie'. The stocking supports that Fizz had been wearing were `Suspender' or `Garter' belts. The corsets that I had seen in Carol's drawer were `Basques' and `Bustiers' I wondered why I had not done this before. I also decided to keep a look out for any other catalogues and magazines that might be as interesting. 10 Over the next two days I managed to accumulate a few of Carols magazines and another two sections from Mail order catalogues. I decided to keep a tub lashed in the side of the tree house with some of the pages from the catalogues and other pages cut from various women's and girl's magazines I had found. I also kept the black panties I had `borrowed' from Elaine's washing, as I could not keep them in the house. Some days later, whilst taking a shortcut through the woods near the river, I had came across a pile of rubbish from which I had sifted a serviceable electric motor, but also a magazine. Although it was a bit damp, I took it back to the tree house and managed to dry it out. When I looked at it properly I was aroused more than ever. The writing was all in some foreign squiggly with dots and characters I did not recognise at all. The pictures were the same in any language. The photos showed girls removing their clothes down to undies or, in one case, to nothing at all and then touching their intimate bits. One picture showed a blond lady with a huge pink plastic thing pushed right inside her. I gawped at it. I wished I could read the writing. This I knew was serious pornography. Something I had heard about but had never had the opportunity to see. I had spread various pictures around the floor of the tree house and held Elaine's panties as I browsed though the new magazine. When the pain in my groin became too much I reached down to ease the pressure Even as I undid my trousers I felt a surge as I came. I held the little black panties to me and flooded the flimsy cloth. I could not believe the tingling feeling inside. Wow! I wiped myself and did my trousers back up. I put the magazines and other pictures away, then pondered the panties. I could not leave them here as they were. I did manage to sneak them into the house. That night as I had a bath I washed out the panties, then hung them on the back of the radiator in my bedroom to dry. 11 A week later as I was getting dressed, I found a pair of white cotton girls panties amongst my own things. They looked like the ones I had worn before. I picked them out to return them. I finished dressing and forgot about them. After breakfast I went out to the tree house again. I pulled out the sections from the mail order catalogue I had `Borrowed' and turned to the interesting underwear pages. I was instantly hard and aching. As my erection continued I remembered the panties in my pocket and soon found myself rubbing the soft knickers against my hard cock. Moments later I felt a jerk inside and I was spurting into the panties. I wrapped them hard round the end to catch the mess, until I had subsided. Spent and relaxed I pulled my zip back up and hid the catalogues. The pain had gone again. I felt so good. Later I stuffed the sticky white panties in the washing basket. That night I dreamt strange dreams. About a week later again, as I dressed in the morning I found the white cotton girls panties in amongst my clothes again. When I briefly wondered why it was the white cotton ones of earlier incidents, I assumed because they were easier to confuse with my own clothes. The silks and bright colours would stand out more. I assumed! In a daring fit of `To hell with convention' I put them on. After all there was no school. We would not be going anywhere. I was quite safe. As I dressed I remembered the soft pleasant feel of the material, I remembered the orgasms as I held them to me. I was surprised how good I felt. At breakfast there was a hint of `You don't know what I'm wearing' to my smirk. Something I had been too embarrassed to think before. After I had finished my morning tasks etc. I scampered to my hiding place in a tree house. It was almost becoming a habit. Climb to tree house, check to see if Elaine was in, check washing line, check magazines. Have good Time. 12 A few days later there were the panties in my drawer again. I should have been suspicious then. But I was a bit naive, as I have said. Again, quite happily this time I wore the lovely soft white cotton panties, that I realise I was beginning to enjoy. At breakfast I thought the tension was just my daring `You don't know what I'm wearing' bravado. When later I was heading to the toilet I was called into Carol's room. She held a magazine in her hands and opened it before me. "Have you been cutting pages out of my magazines?" She asked showing me a page I knew I most certainly had cut out. I stuttered whilst trying to think of my excuse. "Right I'm going to tell Mother. " "But. But it was in the waste paper pile. I thought you had finished with it." "It jolly well wasn't. This is a new magazine. Why would I throw it away? What did you cut it out for anyway?" I stuttered again. How could I tell her? "I bet it's because you ogle at the ladies isn't it?" Her tone of voice changed. "I know what that mess was in those pants last week. I did the washing remember. I know. Are you wearing them now?" I blushed even more and stuttered and wanted to find a hole in the ground to die into. "You are! Arn't you?" and she grabbed at the waist of my trousers. Her little white cotton knickers were revealed. Complete with an embarrassingly stiff contents. "Right we are going straight to Mother." "No. No. Please. No. Carol please." I grovelled and squirmed. "Well why not?" "Please I'll do anything. Anything but please don't tell." "OK. OK. Don't whinge so." She sat down again. "You may as well keep those. I don't want them back anyway." Then she held out the black panties. "Are these yours as well?" I blushed furiously. "Mother found them and assumed they were mine. I know they are not and I know you've been sneaking a look in my drawers too." She threw the little black panties at me. I grabbed them and held them to me. "I won't tell Mother but you owe me and I will not forget it. Just remember that. I have let you off ." I hurried away. I ran back to my room and changed to my own clothes. Then I took both pairs of panties to the tree house to hide them. I did not dare stay. I did not go there for the next few days either. I missed it. I also missed the pleasure of playing with myself. I was surprised that I also missed the lovely feeling of wearing the panties that kept me thinking about them and girls and such things all day. 13 For several days Carol had been making some clothes in readiness for going off to live away from home. She had become an accomplished seamstress under Mothers' expert guidance. Her blouses and skirts were stylish and well finished. Later that morning she called me to her. All over the workroom were clothes and bits of cloth. Paper from various patterns covered the floor and set up on the table by an angled light was Mothers' sewing machine. "I need a hand whilst I adjust the hems, could you help?" "Sure Sis" I said quickly. Easy enough work surely. "Right I need you to model that skirt whilst I pin it." "But... But.... " I started trying to back out. "Come on I NEED you. Mother's too big and too busy. You are nearly the same height as me and close enough in build. You're the only one can model it properly." "Wwww Why can't you model it and I do the hem" "Because you don't know what to do and would louse it up. Now come on." "What about Mother helping you. Just with the hem." "Because she is busy and you are not. Now come on." "But Carol I can't." I pleaded with her. "You will." She said her voice hardening. I knew the veiled threat and relented. Quickly looking for some way to change. Behind the table there was probably enough room. I took the skirt and stepped gingerly to the far side of the room. I kicked my trousers off quickly and slipped the skirt on, hoping she did not notice my underwear. I stepped back towards her and stood as she instructed me and turned round slowly as she slipped the pins into the hem. "OK take it off gently, so you don't stab yourself." She said, reaching for the zip. I tried to get away to change behind the table but she already had it half undone and started to slip it off even as I grabbed it to hold it on. "Oh so that's why you tried to hide." She started at the white girls panties I was wearing. "You needn't hide from ME you know. They were mine. I do KNOW." I let go of the skirt and Carol slid it carefully off me as I gingerly lifted my legs out of the crisp thorny material. I rushed over to my trousers but Carol called "No don't go yet. There is that dress to do as well." I held the trousers against me to hide my modesty whilst she picked a sky-blue dress up and held it out towards me. I conceded, dropped the trousers and let her hold it over my head as I tried to get my arms up into it. It slithered down my body and I tugged it straight. Carol stood back and looked at it then knelt down and stared at the hem. "Hmm." she sat back up and seemed lost in thought. "Don't go away." She said as she stood. "I'll be back in a minute." With that she darted from the room. I stood around feeling foolish. Carol arrived back moments later holding a cream slip. She held it towards me. "You need this on. The skirt doesn't hang right." I stared at her. "Look when I wear that dress I'm going to wear a slip. I need it to look as I would wear it now will you please put the slip on." I took it and slipped it up my legs under the dress. I wriggled until it sat on my hips. I swirled as Carol adjusted the pins and turned the hem up. She took ages adjusting and re-adjusting the pins. She stepped back to study me then knelt and pinned again. "Look can you stand on the stool there it would save my back." I shrugged and stepped onto the stool. Carol continued to pin. "Oh that's better. I can see what I'm doing more easily. Soon be done now." A few minutes later we both jumped as the doorbell rang. Carol leapt to her feet and went to answer it. When she returned her friend Fizz followed her into the room. I nodded my halloo then blushed as I realised I was wearing Carol's dress. "I'm... I'm helping Carol do eh.. it. the dress. Hem. Carol's doing them hems. Ehhm." "It matches your eyes." Fizz said simply. Not seeming to care. "I won't be long" Carol said and knelt again. Fizz sat on the floor against the table. "Is that for Uni.?" She asked. "Yes. I want something nice for the freshers dance." "Very pretty." She said simply, then sat and studied me. I blushed again at the intensity of her stare. "It's not hanging right." Carol said. "I'm not surprised. He hasn't got the right waist, and he certainly hasn't got a chest like yours." I blushed again at the comment. Carol certainly did have a bigger chest than me. "You'd better get someone else to model it then." I said quickly grasping at the chance offered me to escape. "Like who. Even Fizz isn't as near my size as you. But she is right!. We need to modify you a bit." "Well I really can't help you there. Can I?" I said hopefully. "Yes. Yes you can" Carol said seeming to reach a decision. I stayed trying to look nonchalant. Not daring to think what Carol might have in mind. Out of the corner of my eye I could still see Fizz staring at me. She had shifted position and I could see a lot of her legs as they disappeared under her short black skirt. As I looked I could see a little white triangle beneath her skirt that just had to be her knickers. I quickly looked away. When I looked back she had not moved or even appeared to notice. I looked back at her and smiled. My eyes lowered to her skirt. Yes it was definitely her pants on view. I gulped. Just then Carol returned. "Right" She declared and handed me a white bra. I stared in horror. "Come on I need you to put it on." "Bbbbbb bbbbut I ...." She put her hands on her hips and dared me to disobey. I could see the look in her eyes. I took it. "Here Fizz!" Carol beckoned, "give me a hand." Fizz leant forward and for a moment I caught a glimpse of pale thigh above the lacy tops of her stockings. Then she stood to help Carol lift the dress over my head. I felt something brush against me. But with the dress over my head I was blinded to the goings on around me. "Hold still I've got a pin stuck." I heard Carol say. I felt a breeze against my legs and was suspicious of the clicks and whispers. What was going on? The dress pulled up over my head. Fizz must now be able to see me in Carols' panties. "Oh I say." She exclaimed, obviously fully aware. "That's why he wasn't objecting very hard. You were right." Fizz's hand brushed against the stiff protrusion at the front. I felt myself twitch. I could not help it. Under Carol's instruction I removed my shirt and between them they slipped the bra up my arms. Carol fastened it behind me then handed me several pairs of her knickers to help pad it out. When she had finished I guess my chest nearly was the same size as hers. She pulled the slip down a bit then fastened a thick leather belt round my waist. As she pulled it tight to do it up, I gasped for breath. Carol pulled the slip back up onto my, now narrower, waist. "Better" She said and helped me struggle back into the dress. I stood on the stool again. As Carol knelt she said. "Hmm Yes. Better." "A bit silly with that thing sticking out the front though, isn't it? I mean you'd never see Carol like that." Fiz smiled a strange smile, "Well. Not dressed and like that I mean dear." "Fizz!" Carol said sternly. I wondered briefly what the comment meant and knew there was some hidden conversation going on that I was not really party to. "I... I can't help it." I said lamely. "Ahh. But you can" Fizz Said moving towards me. "Here Carol hold this up." Fizz pulled the dress and slip up at the front and Carol held it to my waist while Fizz then jerked my panties down. My erection bounced forth. I had not been naked in front of anyone, even Mother for years. I was really embarrassed. "You're enjoying yourself aren't you?" She accused. "Oh he does. He's worn those knickers before." Carol said This was getting worse by the minute. Her hand scraped me again and a fingernail caught the tip of my throbbing cock. I was too surprised to react and too busy trying to control my temper and my libido to say anything. There was another click and I turned to see Fizz holding a camera. She couldn't have could she? She didn't just take a picture? Her smile said she had. Fizz's hand now cupped my groin. I was too in awe, fear and pain to say or do anything. "Will he be very obedient do you think?" Fizz said tightening her grip. "Oh yes he still owes me." "But I have helped you. We are quits." "Oh no. You still owe me plenty. And we have these photos now. I bet Mother would HATE to see these. And what about your chums at school." I sagged defeated. Fizz came forward and wrapped a pair of Carols panties tightly round the base of my balls, wrapping the end together and tying a knot. She then pulled at the crotch end until the knot pulled tightly under my balls. She kept pulling until it began to get painful. She then pulled downwards. Her hand reached round behind me and carried on pulling. She pulled until my organ was pulled deep between my legs. She somehow fixed the end of the panties to the belt behind me and stepped back. Fizz pulled my knickers back up and rubbed them smooth. I felt a sharp pain, then a most wonderful pleasure. A lovely, warm feeling spread from the base of my cock. My erection had sort of subsided, but left a feeling like I could not describe. Carol let the dress and slip drop back down. "He actually looks quite attractive, don't you think?" Fizz said, falling back onto the beanbag. She sat cross-legged with her short skirt tented across her knees. I could clearly see the lace of her stocking tops and the elastic straps holding them, were visible on her thighs, as they disappeared under the white lacy cloth of her tiny panties. I heard a click and looked up to see she had the camera pointed at me. She had just taken my picture. I jerked. "Keep still or I shall stab you." Carol said sternly, though whether she was just warning me or threatening me I did not care to think about. Carol pinned and adjusted as I twirled at her command. I was furious at her. One more, just one more demand and I would storm off. Behind me I heard Fizz giggle, but over my shoulder I could not see and Carol might have signed or whispered. At last Carol was done. "OK step down." Carol ordered. At last I could finish and leave. I determined to walk from the room as soon as I could and get changed elsewhere. Just then we heard Mother shout that lunch was ready. Carol and Fizz helped me out of the dress. Carol put the dress on the sewing table then threw my trousers and shirt at me. "Take the padding out but keep the rest on." She said. "You can come up to my room after lunch and discuss your payment." I hurriedly dressed and together we went to lunch. At the table they sat one either side of me, and all through the meal one or other or both of them would put a hand on my leg and squeeze or tickle me. Several times I nearly choked on my food. "Paul has been very helpful this morning. He's been helping me with my sewing." Carol said looking innocently towards Mother. "Good. Yes it's about time he learnt some useful domestic skills." Mother replied between forkfuls of food. 14 After we had cleared lunch and I had washed up I reluctantly followed Carol and Fizz up to Carol's room. "Come on in." "Now what?" Carol said looking at Fizz. "Well shirt and trousers off first of course." When I hesitated Fizz barked. "Come on now, you've seen me in my undies it's only fair that I should see you." I slipped the trousers to the floor and the shirt soon joined them. Fizz was whispering to Carol. Carol nodded and went to her clothes cupboard. She pulled out stocking and suspenders. "Try these on." Carol said handing me a pair of blue stockings and a white suspender belt. "Please Carol don't do this to me." I pleaded. "Come along now. Or I shall open the door and shout for Mother." I started to reach for them but Carol came towards me and helped me put the suspender belt round my waist. It sat tightly on top of the leather belt I was still wearing. Awkwardly I tried pulling the stockings onto my legs without removing the slip. Carol eventually pulled it up and tucked it in the bra, so I might as well have removed it. Carol helped me clip the stockings to the suspenders then pulled the slip back down. The look in Fizz's eyes almost burnt me. I looked away. Carol handed me the pile of panties I had used earlier and together we padded the bra again. She passed me a blouse in dusky blue silk. Now THAT really did feel nice as I put it on. In fact by now I have to admit I was beginning to get into the swing of their game and quite enjoying it. I was not altogether surprised when the blue and grey skirt Carol put on me fitted me well. Carol then brushed my hair into a different style and used spray to make it fluff out and stay stiff. She considered me for a while then pushed me towards her dressing table. She sat me down and started pulling things from packets. In the mirror I could see Fizz sitting cross legged on the bed, her skirt stretched across her legs revealing her stocking tops and her lacy white triangle. By now I realised she was doing it deliberately. I stared openly at the sight. After all it was nice enough. Carol made me purse my lips and applied some lipstick. She added eye shadow and mascara. She rouged my cheeks, then seemed satisfied. When she looked for shoes she could find none that fit my feet, but then settled on a pair of sling back sandals that I was made to wear with the back strap folded down so that my heel actually overhung the back of the shoe slightly. "Wonderful" Fizz exclaimed. "Come on." They both jumped up and grabbed a hand each. Before I could object they were dragging me through the door. I tried to pull back, but was no match for the pair of them. Bewildered, I was dragged outside and out to Fizz's car. Carol sat beside me on the back seat giggling all the while. As we drove up the short driveway and out of the road, I was petrified. This had gone beyond a joke very quickly. In the village Fizz parked outside a pub and the two girls virtually dragged me from the car. All we did was walk around the village, but we kept seeing people we knew. Carol would deliberately call out to them and engage in conversation. I was introduced as `Paula' her cousin from `Up North'. I remained silent and mumbling. Nobody seemed to give any indication that they recognised me. Several times Fizz dived away and then twirled quickly round and took a picture of me as I walked along. I was glad when they tired of the game and we headed back home. As we walked down the drive to the house, the worst thing imaginable happened. Mother came round the corner. "Oh halloo Mother" Carol waved in wide-eyed innocence. "This is Paula. A friend of Fizz's" "Hallo Paula. " Mother greeted me. "Is she staying for tea?" Mother asked Carol started to say "No" when Fizz interrupted. "Only if it's not too much trouble." Carol joined in "Oh yes Mum that would be nice" Mother smiled "Oh no problem. Please Paula stay and have some tea." I nodded and tried to mumble `No thanks' but could not actually say so in case Mother discovered my male voice. Mother abruptly turned away. Fizz and Carol giggled as they dragged me indoors. "What have you done now?" I hissed. "I can't stay like this." "But you've got too." We reached Carol's room and I nearly fainted with relief. The girls sniggered and collapsed on Carols' bed. When we had our breath back I could tell some unspoken message had passed between the two of them. Fizz leaned forward to meet Carol and suddenly they were kissing. "We did it. " Carol gasped as she pulled away. Fizz stood and got her camera out again. They dragged me upright and ordered me into a series of poses in the clothes I was wearing, whilst Fizz took perhaps a dozen photos. I complied willingly. I could do little else. The girls leant together and whispered. "Kneel down." Fizz ordered as she turned towards me. Carol came round behind me and pulled my arms back. "Now you are going to be rewarded, but you must behave." With that she fastened a couple of her belts around my elbows and writs, pulling my arms tightly behind me. The two of them fell back onto the bed, their arms wrapped around each other. Soon they were kissing each other, something that surprised me. The kissing went on and their arms pulled each other closer together. I found the sight strange, interesting and yet enjoyable. Fizz's hand snaked down Carol's back. Carol's hand moved round the front of Fizz and was stroking the lovely rounded globes of her chest. Almost in unison each hand then slipped down to the others waist and slid back up again underneath the others blouse. Their blouses became un-tucked and were slowly pulled higher. Each one moved their hands, stroking and caressing the other over their backs, round the front and doing things to the others' breasts under cover of the blouse. In wide eyed astonishment I watched as Fizz undid my sisters blouse and pushed it open, then undid her bra, sliding it loosely up her chest revealing Carol's naked breasts. I was entranced. She had large pink nipples that stood out. Fizz proceeded to stroke and pinch Carols breasts and nipples, rolling them in her fingers. Carol moaned and kissed Fizz harder. Fizz then pulled away from Carol and bent her head and started kissing her nipples, suckling them like a baby. Carols' head was bent back, eyes closed as she moaned with obvious pleasure. I watched stunned and delighted. When Fizz returned to kiss Carol again her hand stroked down Carol's skirt then slipped under the hem and started back up again. Soon Carol's little black lacy knickers were in plain view. The crotch was dark with dampness. As Fizz's hand brushed over Carol's mound her hips bucked. Fizz moved her hand in slow circles all over Carol's abdomen, stroking down her thighs, moving closer to the darkening patch. I could clearly see the crease down the middle of her gusset as her legs open wider. Soon Fizz had her hand inside the pants and was moving slowly, her fingers touching Carol in ways to make her writhe and jump. I was very aware of the throbbing organ tucked tightly between my legs and longed to touch it. Gradually Fizz's moving hand lowered Carol's knickers so that soon her whole pussy was in sight. I gulped This was the most exciting thing I had ever seen in my life. I watched intensely as Fizz's fingers slid up and down between the red fleshy lips and then slowly slid inside Carol. Carol was writhing and moaning in her delight. I was strangely pleased that she was pleased. Fizz started a rhythmic stroking of her hand down across the upper part of Carols slit down and into her opening hole. Carol was soon thrashing on the bed and grunting in a way I could not have imagined of her. Fizz alternated kissing Carol on the mouth and then each nipple then back to the mouth again. I could smell a strange musky smell that I found increased my own erection. This was the smell of an aroused woman. Soon Carol was bucking and grunting, her hips thrusting towards Fizz as Fizz pushed faster and harder into her. I watched in utter delight as Carol spasmed and shook. I realized she had "Cum". I had only recently become aware of my own orgasm but could tell from the satisfied groaning and jerk of her hips that Carol was having a pleasant orgasm. Fizz slowed her stroking and moved back to running her hand in circles around the patch of Carol's dark hair. Carol's hand became more active again, stroking at Fizz's body. Fizz's breasts soon stood out to my gaze. Wonderful cones of firm tanned flesh. Her nipples were perhaps smaller and darker than Carol's. Carol bent to kiss them as Fizz lowered her head back on the bed. Carol kissed all over her breasts and down her chest to lick at her tummy button. Her hand meanwhile was lifting Fizz's skirt. I loved the sight of Fizz's white silky knickers that were cut high at the leg and barely covered anything. They soon covered nothing as Carol continued down Fizz's body and kissed her soft lower belly, her hand pushing the small pants down to her knees. I did not know girls COULD or ever would kiss THAT. But it looked wonderful. I desperately wanted to try it myself. Carol kissed her way down and I watched in rapt fascination, as her tongue slid between the pink lips peeking out between the gently curling triangle of light brown hair. What a wonderful sight. I was in heaven. Fizz moved her knees and slowly the panties dropped to her ankles and she opened her legs obscenely wide revealing everything. I could see right inside her. White flecks of moisture oozed from her opening. Her hips twitched to the touch of Carol's tongue. Then Carol's hand came down and she too stroked in slow and lazy circles round Fizz's thighs and gradually moved closer to the waiting opening. By the time she touched it Fizz was almost writhing and moaning in a most amazing fashion. As Carol's slender finger slipped inside it was too much for me and I felt a strange yet familiar pumping in my loins as I came in my pants. Well Carol's pants. I felt the intense feeling deep inside. This orgasm was quite unlike what I was becoming used to. This was far more intense and internal. I wanted desperately to touch myself. When I opened my eyes again Carol was slowly thrusting her fingers in and out of Fizz, whose hips were jerking and twitching in complete abandon. I shuffled slightly on my knees to get closer. As I did so I touched Fizz's leg. She looked up startled and nudged Carol. They grinned at each other. Carol reached out and grabbed my hair and pulled me forward. I shuffled forward again, until I was directly between Fizz's legs. Carol then pushed on the back of my head until my nose was inches away from Fizz's beautiful open pussy. In rapt wonder, I bent forward, almost overwhelmed by the musky smell and I kissed her flesh as I had seen Carol do. I was delighted when her hips jerked to my touch. I kissed her again. After a few more tentative kisses I ventured a lick with my tongue and was rewarded with a low moan. I grew bolder and ventured more. Then I heard Carol whisper and point, showing me where to kiss and lick and how to do it. "Press there and hold it. Now lick slowly up and down just there. That's it. Slowly. Gently. Now right down the side of both of those lips and back up again. Stay away from that bit there until I tell you." Under her guidance I soon had Fizz thrashing on the bed the way Carol had done minutes earlier. "Right now fast and firm just there." I could tell when Fizz orgasmed from the shuddering and the sudden rush of moisture to my mouth. I slowed my licking and drank of her cream. Thrilling to the taste, and the fact that for the first time in my life I had just brought a girl to orgasm. As I sat back upright I was amazed to find my cock had hardened again within the confines of the panties. I simply watched as Carol and Fizz continued kissing and fondling each other. Eventually it was Carol who broke away. "Well we can't stay like this all day, pleasant though it would be." She smiled at Fizz. I had a notion there was more than just friendship in that smile. Carol sat up and pulled her pants back on. "Did you enjoy that?" She asked as she adjusted her bra. "Yes." I squeaked, unable to talk properly because of the dryness of my throat. "Good." Carol stood, whilst buttoning her blouse. She searched a drawer for a while and returned with a pair of small pink cotton panties with a red border and a small flower motif on the side. "I can spare these, you can have them as well." She pulled the white ones down my legs and I stepped out of them. Then she wrapped the knickers around my head of my penis as it poked out between my bum cheeks and gently wiped and squeezed, even as she did so, I came again, pumping into her hand. My hips thrusting awkwardly of there own accord. Carol giggled. It felt so good that I was almost too happy to be embarrassed at coming in her hand. She waited until I had stopped twitching then finishing wiping me clean. She helped me step into the small pink panties and pulled them up my legs. Fizz was leaning forward and smiled. "He definitely looks better as a girl you know. Much too thin and wimpy for a real bloke." Fizz started tidying her clothes. Though I suspect she deliberately left pulling her panties up until last just to tease me. With a final kiss the two girls stood and released my aching arms. We went to the bathroom together and washed our sticky faces, adjusted our make up. Each helping the other, though I only did a bit when the girls told me to. Fresh and seemingly innocent we went to the kitchen and sat drinking until teatime. It was not until we were sitting eating the sandwiches that I heard Mother calling for me. I could not answer, as I was Paula, not Paul. I was frightened when Fizz and Carol kept looking at me. "Oh well he will just have to go to bed without supper. He's probably out in the woods or down the river again. He's been gone all afternoon. If he's gone beyond the woods there will be trouble." Mother moaned as she bustled round the girls. She poured me a drink. When was the last time Mother had poured me a drink. "Get one yourself." She would say. Ha. Imagine Mother waiting on me. That was nice. She was attentive, but not too intrusive. So all I had to actually say was a weak `Yes please' or `No thank you' at the appropriate times in a false high pitched voice. I was grateful to Carol and Fizz that they chatted, including me in their conversation yet not making me speak. Yet it was a relief when tea was over and we returned to the room while Mother cleared up. Even though I knew `Paul' would have to make up for missing his turn at the washing up. The girls quickly helped me remove the make up and re styled my hair. I removed the clothes and left Carol to put them away. Fizz undid the knickers that held me restrained. I felt my cock bounce back and found it was pleasant and disappointing at the same time. I dashed back to my room wearing only the little pink panties. I quickly found some trousers and a shirt and my shoes and socks then went back to the girls. They had agreed to stand watch for me as I sneaked outside to reappear fifteen minutes later by the back door as innocently as I could. 15 My relationship with Carol changed from that day. Often she would usher me into her room and we would have whispered conversations. We confided in each other more and also helped each other in a more friendly manner. When she left to catch the train to university she whispered to me "I've left you a present in you bedroom." When we had waved a sad goodbye I rushed to my room. After some searching I found a pile of extra clothes in my drawer. She had left three pairs of pants, two plain white bras, a suspender belt and stockings, the slip I had worn before along with the skirt, blouse and sandals. I was not sure at all what she meant by it. At night I would often lay awake thinking about that day. Sometimes I would think about the clothes, but for months I did not wear anything but my own clothes. Whilst Autumn lingered and it was warm and dry I would sometimes spend and hour or so in my tree house and occasionally I would dig out my pictures and magazine cuttings. This would invariably lead to me stroking my rigid penis with a pair of pants until I came. I became quite adept at washing them, hanging them on the radiator each night, but remembering to take them out to the tree house the next day. 16 The autumn term came and I went back to school. I put all my things in the box and hid them in the tree house. I did not yet dare to bring them indoors where Mother might find them. Each evening I had homework and there was little opportunity to play in the tree house. Even Saturdays were fairly busy with chores, as there seemed more to do now that Carol had gone. Occasionally I could get a few minutes to myself on a Sunday and would sneak out to play. At half term week I had plenty of studying to do and some repairs that Mother needed done. I had been feeling a strange urge that had been growing inside me. I felt that I was fairly safe so after breakfast used the tree house to change into one of the pairs of panties that I now owned. I revelled in the sensations and knew that this was what I had been missing. I enjoyed again the feeling of the forbidden material. I could not explain it. The afternoon ended `playing' in the tree house in a most pleasurable way. Once back to school I did not dare do so again, and had little free time. Christmas was a pleasant re-union with Carol. Carol received more presents than me as usual, especially from father. Mother showed her contempt, but she was really just as bad. Carol and I resumed our chats in her room as she told me about college and some of the people there. One afternoon whilst Mother went to a drinks party Carol and I sat together on her bed. She openly admitted that she was `lesbian.' That she had been having sex with Fizz for ages. She and Fizz had arranged to share digs at University. They had two beds in the same room but usually slept together. She told me that Fizz seemed insatiable and was always ready for sex. She spoke in a way that convinced me of her genuine affection for Fizz. She also told me about girls. How they felt about things: Their `periods', their bodies. She told me how she and Fizz felt about men and also about other girls. We became quite intimate She admitted that she and Fizz had found another `friend' to share the house with and sometimes all three of them ended up in bed together. She missed Fizz during the holiday, as she had gone skiing in Switzerland with Charlie, the new housemate. She said that she had been invited but could not afford it and felt sure that she would not be any good anyway. Carol asked me a lot about myself and what I had been doing. She quizzed me about my own behaviour. After some prodding from her I admitted that I had worn her Panties a few times but had not had much opportunity and never done more than that. And reluctantly I admitted that I did rather like it. I could not explain why. Carol just smiled and was completely relaxed about it. "Don't worry!" She said. "I understand. You know it's not so unusual, you just don't talk to the right people." I did not know what she meant. Before she returned to university for the spring term she left me a little packet. When I opened it later it contained a note and a pile of photographs. The note said that they `Thought it only fair I have a copy.' The photos were the ones Carol and Fizz had taken of me the day of the `Dress fitting.' Despite the fact that I knew it was me, I thought the girl in the pictures attractive and certainly there was no hint that she was anything other that a pretty girl, albeit with somewhat short hair. I kept them stashed away in my tub. 17 The spring term weather was appalling and I had very few opportunities to slip up to the tree house. Late on in the term we received news that Carol was not coming home for Easter, as she had some special work to do, though she did invite me to go and stay If Mother would allow. It was arranged that I would stay for a few days at the end of term. I was nervous and excited as it would be my first time travelling on my own and staying away from home without some grown up relative on hand. I still did not really see my sister as grown up. The week before the visit I received a letter from Carol. She sent her regards etc. but the letter seemed spaced out and the writing somewhat stilted. There was just one clue in a comment about lemmings. Something she and I had as an `In joke' I managed to sneak a candle to my room and heated the letter carefully, revealing the true letter written in between the other lines. She instructed me on several things she wanted me to take up to her, mostly things from her room. And I was to take the clothes she had given me as well. She promised it would be worth my while. My case was heavy and bulging as I dragged it to the train. Mother wanted to re-pack it for me, but I assured her that it was all right. I could not have HER looking inside. The journey through pleasant countryside was enjoyable. The ride was over all to soon. Carol met me at the station with a big kiss and helped me carry the case to Fizz's waiting car. She gave me a brief tour of the city on the way to her house. As we unloaded at the little semi-detached that the girls were renting, Fizz came to greet me. "Halloo Paula! Welcome." She too gave me an affectionate kiss. She ignored my raised eyebrows. Paula indeed! Soon we were sitting on the stools in the rather Spartan kitchen, sipping hot coffee and filling each other in on the events of the last few months. When I asked how they were enjoying the house Carol said: "Ah yes. Well you see, the thing is..." She looked thoughtful for a few moments, glancing at Fizz for support. "The thing is. This is a girls-only house. We are not supposed to have boys staying." "Where am I going to stay then?" I asked rather frightened of the sudden change. "Oh here. You can stay here. That's why I told you to bring all those clothes with you." "What?" "You can join us. You can be one of the girls." I was speechless for a few moments. "You can. You've proved you can do it. You can't sleep on the streets. Can you? And if you stay here we shall probably get thrown out and have nowhere to go. You wouldn't want to ruin my university degree would you? Of course not. So you see there really is no problem. It'll be OK. Go on. Trust me. It'll be OK." I gulped at the rest of my coffee. Since she put it like that. When I put my cup down the two of them grabbed a hand each and led me up to the room where I had put my case. Shades of deja-vu. I was virtually silent amidst their excited jabbering as they helped my undress then redress in the clothes I had brought. I was soon being transformed and embarrassingly stiff in the groin department. Fizz seemed to enjoy her job of wrapping my cock up and tying it between my legs. I had almost forgotten that strange feeling that at first hurt them suffused me with a pleasant warm tingle. I was still wondering if I should not have asked to be put on the next train home. They continued dressing me in suspender belt and stockings, bra and panties, then skirt and blouse. Most of these things were the ones Carol had given me, the rest Carol found in her cupboard. Fizz made up my hair and Carol did some make up. When I looked in the mirror "Paul" had gone. I liked the look of the female that looked back at me. I was still churning in confusion inside when they led me back downstairs for another coffee and they started preparing supper. I tried to help but really only got in the way, or so it seemed from all the touching and pushing. I was laying out the things on the table when I heard the front door slam. A few moments later a striking, tall, girl walked in. She was well built, and showed strong sporty, shoulders. Her sandy hair was cut in a short bob. She beamed at me. "Oh Hi. Say you must be Paula. I'm Charlie. " She gushed at me and reached out towards me. She took my limp hand and shook it vigorously. Then turned to kiss Carol and Fizz as they entered the room. "Say you can tell Paula is your cousin can't you?" She said to Carol. "The family resemblance is there." My eyes opened wide in surprise. Had Carol really not told her about me? Did she and Fizz think we could fool somebody staying in the same house? I stared at Carol who looked away quickly. Over dinner I remained silent as much as I could. Charlie talked for two anyway. When I spoke I used my falsetto soft tones. It seemed to work. Most of my side of the conversation consisted of "Hmm", "Yes", "No", "Oh" etc. They all seemed to lead such exciting lives, I probably could not add much to the conversation, even if I were not trying to keep hiding my voice. I helped clear away after dinner. Then we all curled up in various chairs in the lounge and chatted. I found the conversation quite strange. They chatted in a way they would probably not have done if I had been there dressed as normal. They treated me as `One of them'. I was more grown up. I was one of the girls. I cupped my mug of tea and joined in as best I could. When Carol suggested it was bedtime I felt suddenly very weary and was glad to leave the other two to chat. Carol showed me to the room and suggested a nightdress of hers to wear. She helped me undo some of the things especially what she called the `Gaff'. The way they tied my organ between my legs to give me a smoother front. I left the knickers and bra on under the nightdress. By the time I had finished in the bathroom she had laid out a camp bed and sleeping bag. I crawled in and zipped myself in. Carol sat beside me and patted my head. "You're doing great. You really are. You'll be OK. Promise." Just then the door opened and Charlie came in. "Oh hi. I won't be a min. You look tired." She strode over to the bed and started undressing. I stared up at Carol. "This is eh... Charlie's room. I'm in the front room. But there wasn't enough space for another bed so Charlie suggested you share with her. I hope you don't mind." "Oh we'll be OK. Won't we Paula?" Charlie said, pulling her jumper over her head. Carol smiled, turned and then left the room. I stared in open wonder as Charlie undressed before me. She slid the black jeans down her muscular legs. She was wearing the tiniest of black thong pants underneath. Her elegant legs were deeply tanned. Her small breasts were barely covered by a tight white cotton crop top. She wore no bra. She caught my eyes staring at her and looked back at me and raised her eyebrows. I looked away and felt myself blush. I thought I heard a noise like a snort or chuckle. Wearing only the thong, she strode out to the bathroom. Several minutes later she strode back, then climbed into bed and turned out the light. I lay awake thinking for a while, but soon tiredness took me to wherever it goes. 18 Carol woke us early the next morning with fresh cups of tea. It was years since I had had a drink in bed. `Gosh this is grown up' I thought to myself. Still with the sleeping bag tight around me, I watched Charlie get dressed. I stared in awe at the brief glimpse of the sparse, fair hair, trimmed to a small heart, at the top of her legs. She dressed in much the same as she had worn the day before. A crop top sports bra under a brushed cotton sweatshirt and tiny thong under black jeans, and black leather boots. I sat in the sleeping bag still thinking about everything. Through the half closed door I heard Charlie's overloud voice. "Hey! She is really something. She's kinda cute. I like her." I was still breathless from watching Charlie get dressed but also reluctant to get dressed myself in the way I was expected to. "Come on girl. Don't be shy. The others are up." Carol said as she slipped into the room. "Soon be breakfast. Fizz has planned a day out." She held out a hand towards me. I put my cup down and slowly disgorged from the sleeping bag. After a quick shower, I started to get dressed. Carol helped and showed me how to do some of the things on my own. I carefully applied the make up as I had seen Carol and Fizz do. Then in trepidation I went down to breakfast. The good morning greetings were casual and friendly. I was the last to eat. Carol told me that Charlie had rowing practice, but would be back later. Carol and Fizz did a few jobs around the house. I tried to help so Carol sent me to gather all the washing piles from their rooms Huh! Charlie's washing pile consisted of mostly jeans, trousers, jumpers and several pairs of absolutely minuscule panties, thongs and the like. Fizz and Carol's pile by contrast had a whole range of outer clothes and underwear. Basques, waist shapers, garter belts, and lots of different lacy panties slips and bras. The morning passed amidst chat, coffee, more chat and more coffee. When lunch neared and Charlie was still not back Fizz suggested a short walk to the river to see if she had finished. It was a pleasant fresh spring day. There were a number of boats out and we soon saw Charlie on the skulls with her team. We neared the boathouse and sat watching their coach give them all a hard time. It was not long before they docked and the eight of them effortlessly lifted the boat from the water and carried it into the boathouse. We strolled in to the boathouse together as Charlie explained that the coach had told them they needed extra practice so they had been at it virtually all morning. We were in the changing rooms amidst eight disrobing females before I had realised where we were. Fizz and Carol sat on the side bench discretely holding hands as Charlie said, "I'll just have a quick shower then I'll be with you." I did not know where to look. I should not be here. Then I realised that of course I was `One of them.' They all took me for a girl. Only Fizz and Carol knew different and even they seemed to be ignoring it. I tried to relax and be natural. Charlie stripped off her shorts and knickers in one smooth movement. She slipped out of her singlet and sports bra. Her bronzed, naked body sparkled with sweat. She looked superb. Fit, muscular, strong and commanding. I noticed the other girls disrobing. They too were all fit and strong but my eyes kept coming back to Charlie. My eyes devoured her as she towelled herself and dressed in the inevitable black jeans and jumper. She caught my eye and I looked away blushing. As we walked back home Fizz and Carol strolled along holding hands. It did not seem un-natural when Charlie held mine. We walked to town. After a brief discussion we decided to go to the Cinema and then went for a Pizza. During the film I knew Fizz and Carol were cuddling fairly discretely. Charlie soon had her hand on my leg and for some reason I did not object. I was glad/disappointed that she did not go further. Over the Pizza the girls chatted away as usual. I still felt awkward and unsure of myself and contributed little to the conversation. Charlie kept cracking jokes, one liners and puns that had us all giggling. In the fading light of evening we headed home. I helped Carol make a pot of tea. Then headed upstairs to go to the toilet again. I pushed open the door to find Charlie had beaten me to it. She had not even shut the door but casually sat there with her trousers and pants at her ankles. "Oh Gosh ssssssorry" I stammered and rushed from the room. I collapsed on my bed in a sweat. I could feel the heat of my blush. A few minutes later she came into the room. "Hey no worries girl. All right. We're all friends here. Mind you..." She sniggered. "You do look pretty when you blush. Even your little ears go red." I blushed again, and guessed she had expected that. I ran to the toilet but made sure I locked the door. I repaired my make up, re-attached my gaff, adjusted my clothing and headed hesitantly back downstairs. 19 Over supper I became aware of the way Charlie kept staring at me. She even seemed to be pointing more of her witty comments at me. I found I was talking more as I got used to my higher-toned voice more. It seemed to be becoming more natural. I was glad we had made friends so quickly. After all I rather liked her. When we settled down with the remains of the bottle of wine after supper Carol and Fizz sat together on the sofa and openly cuddled each other. I sat opposite in a large rather worn armchair. Charlie sat on a large sag bag stretched out between us. I was not altogether surprised to find Fizz soon had her hands inside Carol's clothes and Fizz's legs were open enough to display her panties. I found myself looking and tuning away then looking back again. I really could not tear my eyes away for long. She had such lovely legs. And the glimpse of panties I still found tremendously exciting. I had been staring for some while as we all still carried on talking when I became aware that Charlie had moved closer and was stroking my leg. It was so soft and gentle I had missed it with my concentration on Fizz. I did not know how to react. What should I say? By the time her hand had reached my knee I was becoming very flustered. I tugged my skirt down and kept my knees together. Charlie reached over quite calmly and topped my wine glass up. I was feeling rather light-headed. I had never been allowed wine at home and felt both grown up and at the same time aware of my inexperience. I was staring at Carol and Fizz again. Fizz had her hand inside Carol's panties. The two were kissing and completely ignoring the two of us. When I looked down Charlie had her hand under my skirt and was nearly at the top of my stockings. She was staring openly at me. "You really are very pretty you know?" She said candidly. She seemed so unflustered, unshakeable. I stared at her as I tried to stutter a response. I looked over at Carol and Fizz and back to Charlie, confused by the situation. "Those two are gone. They often are at weekends." She said simply. She seemed to accept their behaviour as normal. "Are you Ok with it? You seem upset" She stared deeply into my eyes as if assessing something. I found her gaze hard to hold and looked away. "I guess. I've seen them do it before. I'm just not really..." What was I to say. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Charlie asked. The change in subject caught me by suprise and I reacted with a touch of horror before I realised it was a perfectly sensible question in the circumstances. I gulped and then chuckled at my own reaction. "No" I replied. Perhaps with more conviction than I should. "Why the smile? What's up?" She leant closer. "Oh No err well." What could I say. "No I have never had a boyfriend. I guess... Well I just havn't." "Don't you like boys." She asked bluntly. "Kinda. Sort of something like that." It was hard not to tell the truth. "Hey it's cool. Some girls get upset by gay women. When you didn't react to those two..." She nodded her head in the direction of the rapidly disrobing couple on the sofa. " I assumed you either didn't mind or were part of the gang." It took me a moment for the penny to drop. Then I smiled. Yes! I was part of the gang. And in some ways I was not. I was getting more comfortable in my swapped role but still had so much to learn and things to work out and understand. When I galnced over at the othert girls, they were now almost completely naked, breathing heavily and well on their way. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. They looked so excited, I found myself getting excited. I was still very unsure of all things sexual and hesitant. Whilst I had had some fairly detailed discussions with Carol I was still very immature and in-experienced. And confused. "Fizz tells me you are good at oral." "Bbbbbbut but eh ." She was so brazen! How could I tell her? "What? Didn't you enjoy it? They said you did." "Yess... ssss but but..." "But what? You're too lovely a creature to pass by you know." "Th... tha... thanks. bbbbbut" Why couldn't I stop stuttering? Why couldn't I talk sense? Charlie's hand had reached the tops of my stockings. I had my legs tight together but had made no move to stop her. "Charlie I I... " I managed to get out. "What?" "I can't " "Why? Don't you like me? I was sure you did" "I do. But..." Charlie stood and sat on the seat of my chair. She wrapped her arms around me and suddenly planted her lips on mine. I could not help but respond. By the time she stopped, I was gasping for breath and was VERY turned on. "Paula you are quite lovely. I saw the way you looked at me. I know you like me. I know you were turned on too, you can't hide it." She kissed me again. She was aggressive and her tongue snaked around inside my mouth. Her hands stroked my back. I sat frozen. Responding to her kisses but confused about my role. I wanted the attention. I was even proud that she found me attractive. I was certainly turned on. I even wanted to see more of her in both senses of the word. But what had I done? How had I got to this state of confusion? Her hand started up my thighs again. It felt wonderful. I felt myself twitching inside. She took this for assent and her hand reached the tops of my stockings. I could not break off the kissing to ask her to stop. Her hand reached my knickers and pressed against me. Surely now she would find out. Her other hand lifted her jumper and guided my hands to her chest. In a daze I stroked her smooth firm breasts. I had not touched a real live pair of female breasts and was amazed at the soft yet firm bouncy flesh. I felt her nipples harden under my fingers. It was thrilling to know she was enjoying it. She kissed me harder. I felt hands on me and looked up to see Carol and Fizz on either side. Fizz opened Charlie's trousers and eased them down to the floor, whilst Carol pulled Charlie's jumper over her head. I stared in open admiration at Charlie's fit athletic body. Carol then stood behind her stroking Charlie's breasts while Fizz guided me to the floor between Charlie's legs. I need little guidance from Fizz to lean forward and kiss those superbly shaped, strong legs. They opened wide as I worked my way upward. Soon my nose was touching the cloth of her small knickers. She smelled wonderful. As I inhaled that tangy scent that I knew was here arousal I felt my trapped organ twitch in response. The smell was quite intoxicating. Gently with skills that Carol had taught me I eased my way forwards. I pulled the small knickers to the side and touched the soft sandy hairs of her mound. She had little hair. The top was trimmed to a neat heart shape the sides were shaved clean and neat. I licked and kissed at her in a daze. I gradually worked my way closer to her opening slit. Her inner petals were already blushing to attention. By the time I was opening them with my tongue and seeking out her sensitive bits she was gasping delightfully. I flickered at her proud nodule, her clitoris, and she bucked and writhed towards me. It took ten or more minutes of licking, sucking and stroking all around her pretty pussy, before she was moaning and writing to orgasm. "Well done." Fizz whispered then kissed me on the cheek. I felt amazingly proud that I had given someone as lovely as Charlie so much pleasure. "Give her more." Fizz Whispered. I hardly needed to be told. I was really enjoying myself and was almost drunk on the smell and taste of hot pussy. I bent again towards Charlie's lovely mound. Fizz put her arms around me and caressed me from behind. As I worked at Charlie again, working my tongue around her moist petals and hard little node, Fizz pushed a hand under my skirt behind me and caressed my bottom. As I flickered at Charlie and worked my tongue harder and faster, Fizz slid her hand over my panties. Fizz reached between my legs and stroked the ridge between my cheeks. Wow that felt wonderful. Charlie was literally dripping with juice. Even her thighs were wet with her moisture as she writhed and moaned to another orgasm. I was having difficulty concentrating on my task as Fizz's rubbing became harder and then as I felt Charlie gush her lovely liquid into my mouth, I felt a strange tingling then a surge inside, that signalled my own hot, sweet orgasm. I sat back gasping for breath and rested my head on Charlie's thigh to concentrate on the still swelling, delicious feeling in my insides. I shut my eyes as the red haze blocked my vision. The hot sensation moved out in waves upwards, downwards and out and yet was all over me at the same time. I felt a jerking at the base of my penis. Then the waves slowly diminished and subsided to leave a wonderful glow all over me. I leant against Charlie's strong thigh and sighed. I had never known anything so wonderful. I became aware of hands stroking my head and looked up to see Charlie staring hungrily at me. For a while I lost myself in her deep brown eyes. We stared at each other The she reached forward and kissed me. She reached forwards with strong arms, pulled me off my knees and sat me on her lap. We lay contentedly cuddling, barely aware of the groaning from Carol and Fizz, who had resumed their own lovemaking, the other side of the room. Charlie and I sat, each with a hand round behind the other, my left hand stroking her sweet little breasts, her right hand stroking my legs. I felt flattered and delighted by her attentions. I kept pushing away the voices in my own head that tried to raise their objections. If only she didn't have to find out. Eventually we had to move to answer calls of nature. I made myself ready for bed and realised I had orgasmed without making a mess in the panties. I had orgasmed but not ejaculated. I had not even noticed. I pondered the significance of this as I managed to slip into my sleeping bag before Charlie came upstairs. I loved the way she walked boldly in, carrying her discarded clothes. She made no attempt to cover her delightful body. She looked at me with a strange mixture of emotions fluttering behind her eyes. When she had attended her own ablutions she knelt and kissed me, but in my fear I resisted responding too much and gently said "Goodnight" I did not want to appear too cold, but I could not let the situation get out of hand. She looked disappointed as she stood and slipped into her own bed. I dreamed strange dreams. The ground beneath me kept moving. The rolling fields of new ploughed earth kept bursting forth. 20 Fizz bought the tea next morning. Charlie dressed quickly, stopping long enough to give me a morning kiss and rushed out. When I had washed and dressed, I made my way down to breakfast. After a leisurely start, Fizz drove us into town. We saw the sights, did the tourist bit. I bought a souvenir for Mother. We grabbed a bite to eat at a burger bar and got wolf whistled. We caught up with Charlie at the Tennis courts. She looked wonderful in tight tennis shorts. Her tight round bottom wobbled delightfully every time she did a lob. I thought that any minute she would be arrested. She joined us for the rest of the walk round town and cuddled up to me as we drove home in Fizz's car. We sat in the kitchen whilst Carol prepared a light salad supper. Charlie chatted away and kept finding excuses to come near me and touch me in affectionate little ways. My mind was in turmoil. I wanted to make love to Charlie again. I wanted to feel her hands on me. I wanted to give her pleasure. But I did not want her to know who and what I was. I suppose I did not want to disappoint her. She was lesbian. She liked girls, and really I was a boy. All through tea the girls chatted away. They tried to include me but I was a little too worried to concentrate to hard. I kept retreating back into my deliberations We all cleaned and dried the dished together. I enjoyed all the affectionate touching stroking and petting that accompanied it. Fizz brought us cups of tea in the sitting room. Charlie sat on the sofa and pulled me to her. I sat over her lap with her strong arms around me. She looked at the confusion in my eyes and smiled. Fizz sat on the other end of the sofa with Carol on the floor between her legs. For a while we discussed things and caressed gently. Carols hand stroking softly on Fizz's leg. Charlie held me close and stroked my back. When she had put her cup down her hand came to rest on my leg. It was now. I had to tell her. I could not. I had too. Her hand stroking my legs was nice. I did not want her to stop. I did not want to disappoint her. Almost on their own, without command from my brain, my hands began stroking Charlie's firm breasts. Somehow her jumper came loose and my hands were snuggled up inside. Charlie was stroking my stocking tops and I was feeling lovely. How could I stop? I had too. I lifted Charlie's crop top and exposed her hard, dark nipples. I bent my face to them and suckled them. It was Fizz again who guided me to the floor as together, we pulled Charlie's tight tennis shorts and tiny knickers to her ankles. I marvelled at her firm trimmed mound. Quite the prettiest thing I had ever seen. She really did look awfully good. As before, I bent to my task with enthusiasm. I loved the smell and taste of her. I had learned well and soon had my lips and tongue warming her and making her writhe and moan. It was still a wonder to me how I could cause such pleasure. A little flicker of the tongue in the right place could cause her hips to buck. A little suck and she would moan in contentment. I held her in a state of excitement for ages before pushing harder and flickering until she came. As before, Fizz had been gently stroking my bottom, and the false mound between my own legs, and again, I had that wonderful deep hot orgasm inside. Waves of wonderful pleasure pulsed forward and back. I could feel the heat in my cheeks. I lay dazed against Charlie's naked thigh. I lay for ages caressing her thigh as we watched Carol and Fizz undress each other. They kissed and caressed for a while then Carol lay on her back as Fizz knelt over her the other way round and each buried her face between the others legs. For ages all we could hear was various moans mixed with strange slurping noises. I looked at Charlie and smiled. Her smile back was gentle and Yes! There was affection in her eyes. Oh why did it have to be like this? I turned back to watch the strange show before me. How I longed to do something similar. Not to have to keep my clothes on. Not to pretend. The moaning from the floor became louder and more frequent as they each neared their own peaks. I found it arousing to watch others pleasure each other so. The two bodies became still but remained locked together. It looked like some strange creature, all legs and arms. Even when Charlie excused herself and strode naked from the room the other two ignored us. I dashed to the bedroom, waited until Charlie went downstairs again, then quickly washed, undressed and hid in my sleeping bag. Some moments later she came into the room. She was still naked and un-abashed. She threw her clothes in a pile and knelt beside me. "Paula sweet Paula, come to my bed." She asked "I... I... can't" I croaked. "Why?" "I... I just can't" I could not tell her. And tomorrow I would be heading home and it would not matter. Or would it? We had a long lingering tender kiss before I crawled deeper into the sleeping bag. I had strange dreams. Flowers opened, butterflies emerged from their chrysalises, dolphins leapt from the sea and flew pirouettes in the air, turning into birds and flying away. 21 The next day Charlie gave me a big kiss and lingered cuddling me before she said a sad goodbye. After she had broken fast she came again to kiss and cuddle me as I still hid in my sleeping bag. "You will be coming again won't you?" "I... I... don't know" I replied honestly. What would happen? Soon after that she left to do some work in the library and I carefully packed the females clothes away, removed the remaining traces of makeup. I showered and dressed back into my own clothes. At breakfast with Carol there was an atmosphere. It was inevitable. They had treated my like a girl. Now they and I were reminded that I was not. I was heading for home. There was also regret. Fizz shortly excused herself. She reappearred a few miuntes later to give me a chaste kiss goodbye and left the house. "Did you enjoy yourself?" Carol asked asked between mouthfuls of marmalade toast. "Yes. Yes I did." I admitted quietly. How could I have enjoyed something so strange and yet I certainly had. I had enjoyed the feel of the clothing. I had enjoyed the attention I got when dressed as a girl. I had enjoyed the three girls company. I had enjoyed being with Charlie. I had enjoyed giving her pleasure. I had really enjoyed the wonderful strange orgasms, quite unlike my usual pleasures back home. So yes I had enjoyed the weekend. "You don't mind that we dressed you up." "No. I don't think I do." I replied surprised at the honesty of the answer. No I really did not mind. What I minded was deceiving Charlie who I thought I loved or who I could love if given the chance. "What now Sis?" I asked hoping she would have some answers. "I don't know." She replied sadly. "This only really started as a joke. Well I thought it was a joke. I think now that Fizz knew it was not. Right from the first it was her idea." She stared into her empty teacup. "Back on my birthday when you looked though the door? "She knew you were there and undressed deliberately. I had told her about you wearing my knickers occasionally when you had too and she suggested we try and see how far we could go. Then she planned that day with the dress fitting. We set you up I'm afraid. Each time you acquiesced it only made her want to see how much further we could go. A few times I tried to tell her to stop but... I'm... I'm sorry. I always backed down. I... I love her so. " There was a heavy silence. "This weekend was a bit like that as well." She said. "We would not have been thrown out. It is true we are not supposed to have boys. Not sharing rooms anyway. We could have put you on a camp bed in the lounge. Then one evening when I was talking about it even before we asked Charlie, Fizz suggested trying it on. At first I was a bit unsure but the more she talked the more it seemed all right. So when we told Charlie we were going to have a visitor we said it would be my cousin Paula not my brother. We could always have made up a story if had not worked out. Fizz was sure it would though. And you've got to admit it did. Charlie still doesn't know." "Yes! But is that fair?" "Why?" Yes why? I asked myself. "Well because I want to see her again. I like her. I don't like the idea of her being deceived." "Don't be silly. You can't see her again. You, well Paula doesn't exist." "It was a joke and now it's over. You've got to go home. You've got to be a boy." There was a definite tone of distaste there "You cannot deceive Mother." I sat silently thinking. "Do you want to dress as a girl again?" Carol broke my muse. "I. " I hesitated about to say No or yes. "I don't know." was all I could manage. "I've got used to it and it isn't too bad. But... Well I don't know." We sat in silence until Carol reminded me I had a train to catch. Carol had borrowed Fizz's car again. We rode in silence. At the station Carol said. "I am sorry. I should not have done that to you." "No don't be. Somehow things will work out." "Give my love to Mother" We kissed and I caught my train. Somehow I was older and more thoughtful than I had been months ago now on the previous Friday. 22 The rest of the Easter Holiday passed quickly, as there were so many chores and repairs to do round the house, and homework to finish before going back to school. Summer term came and I went back to the daily grind at school. I rarely visited my tree house. I built a small stow away in the space under my bed and brought the things in from the tub outside. Mother noticed I had become more serious and commented favourably on my mature attitude. A few weeks after my visit I received a letter from Carol. Inside was another envelope addressed to Paula. Carol's note simply said. Paul Charlie asked me for Paula's address. I thought this would not yet be appropriate and told her so. She then asked if I could pass this on to Paula for her. Could you pass it on and ensure only Paula receives it. It was good to see you briefly, I hope you are well and look forward to seeing you again soon. Give my love to Mum. Your happy sister Carol There was an implication in the tone that took me a few moments to work out. When the penny dropped I hid the letter from Charlie to await the right time to read it. That right time was not until several days later. I was by then almost beside myself with curiosity to know what she had said. Mum went out to a work function and told me that she would be very late. As soon as she had left the house I ran to my room. I retrieved my hidden clothes and started to get dressed. Then stopped. I went to the bathroom and stripped again. I put a little warm water in the bath and soaped myself all over. I then used my razor to shave my whole body. When I was done there was not a hair anywhere on my body below my ears. My skin felt smooth and interesting. I oiled myself carefully. Then went back to my room and recommenced dressing, this time as Paula. The stockings felt lovely and sensual against my smooth skin. So did the other underwear. When I put on the silk slip and felt it slide around my smooth legs I almost melted inside. I had really enjoyed dressing up before but this added a whole new dimension. I slowly finished dressing, adjusted my hair and revelled in the feelings. This was definitely how I wanted to be. When I was finally done and had admired myself in the mirror I pulled out the letter from Charlie. Paula I really enjoyed meeting you when you came up to visit Carol recently. I cannot put into words the feeling I have for you. I enjoyed your company and the things we did together. Although you seemed to like me and joined in, you were hesitant and I feel I may have offended you. That was not my intention. Carol will not give me your address. She said it would be inappropriate. I do not know what she means by this. I would dearly like to keep in touch. I hope you receive this and think of me. Yours affectionately Charlie As I read and re-read the letter I think I understood why Carol wanted it to be Paula and not Paul who read the letter. Putting on the Paula persona changed me. I could see things through Paula's eyes differently to the way I thought and saw things as Paul. I enjoyed the rare opportunity to dress up and walked confidently around the house until bedtime. Reluctantly I undressed and put Paula's things away. It was nearly a week before I had another opportunity to become Paula, and I wanted to be the right person to write back to Charlie. I admitted that It was not possible to contact me directly but I did emphasise the "Yet" to provide a hope that things would change in the future. I suggested that in the mean time she could still contact me via Carol. I told her that I did care for her a lot and that although I was a bit unsure of myself and there were things in my own life that I needed to sort out, I hoped to see her again the next time I came to visit Carol. I sent the letter via Carol Summer brightened. The weather improved and with it the hopes for the future. After much thought and long pondering I seemed to reach a decision. Once reached the more I thought and planned the happier I became. I made it a habit to shave my whole body every time I took a shower. Once started it was a simple matter to continue. I vowed never to return to the old Paul. Speculatively I bought a few teenage girls magazines and read secretly about girlie things Every opportunity I could find I would dress in as much of the female clothing as I could get away with. Often I would wear panties and bra and sometimes stockings and garter belt under my normal clothes. So what if I was not fully dressed up? I knew I was wearing it. It felt nice. I knew that "Underneath" I felt sexy. I took a Saturday job at a local store and saved carefully. I worked hard at school and did well. I had the occasional letter from Carol and our relationship improved. I had not told her of my musing but the tone of my letters let her know I had forgiven her. Carols' letters usually included a letterfrom Charlie 23 When Carol came home for the summer holidays we had a few brief discussions in her room. On one exciting day Mother left the house early to visit an ageing relative. As she was taking a series of bus rides, she was not due back until late at night. As soon as she was gone I showered, shaved all over, then proceeded to dress as Paula. I carefully made myself up and styled my own hair. When I went to Carol's room she smiled brightly "Wow" she beamed. "You really are into this aren't you?" "Yes. You have made me realise that it is a part of me. I know you think you set me up, but I don't see it that way. You helped me discover things about myself. I much prefer to be Paula. I wish there was a way to tell Mother And more opportunity to stop being Paul." The rest of the day was spent discussing make up and hair styles. As we were in the summer holidays and it would be a long time before I had to do anything where anybody might notice, Carol helped me trim and paint my toe-nails and finger nails. I asked a lot of questions about things in the magazines that I had read. We even ventured out for a walk together. When we passed a bar and a guy there wolfed whistled, Carol nudged me and smiled. "That was for you" she said. I was the one wearing the short skirt. Carol was in jeans and jumper and had not made any effort to look smart, as most of the day had been spent helping me. I smiled and felt myself blush. Only on a couple of days during that holiday, did I get the opportunity to fully dress as Paula. With Carol's help I dressed up again. I made up, styled my hair and painted my fingernails. On the first such occasion I prepared breakfast, lunch and tea for Carol as a way of saying `Thank you'. We spent the day chatting and giggling together. This was what I wanted. 24 Carol helped me to shop for a few more pretty, lacy and sexy feminie clothes that I could wear under my normal clothes. I spent some of my hard earned money. As a student she did not have much but she helped out a bit as well. It was a shame I could not afford more, and that Mother spent Money on my boys clothes that were not getting full use. In September I went back to school with a heavy heart. I had enjoyed the freedom of the summer more than before. At least in this my final year I did not have compulsory sport that would require changing my clothes in a room full of boys. That really would have been embarrassing. I found myself making friends with several girls in my year, but could not settle with the boys and their interests in football or cricket. And I could not afford all the latest games and collectors cards. Very soon after Carol went back to College. She left before term had really started on the pretext of sorting out her accomodation. I knew she was desperate to see Fizz again. It had been a long summer. She was sure that she would still be sharing the house with Charlie and took a short note from me. The pressure of my final year left little room for fun. Any work I could do to earn extra money I could not turn down. Mother fretted and helped in small ways, but she worked hard to keep the house going and to provide for Carol. As usual Carol came home for Christmas. After breakfast we opened our presents together. Carol had bought me a book with a note that said "Careful. & real present to follow. Love SisXX" I thanked her and kissed her affectionately. After we had cleared away and helped Mother with preparing Christmas lunch, I followed Carol to her room. There she handed me another gift. When I opened this it was a beautifull matching bra a brief set with soft high mesh stockings. I threw my arms round her neck and kissed her. I had to strip and try the clothes on. They looked and felt gorgeous. Christmas lunch itself was a bit stayed and boring. Probably more so than before. Carol kept up with some chatter about college and some of the parties she went to. Always there was the under-laying problem of her not having a boyfriend. She did meet several boys at various functions and made sure she mentioned their names. On boxing day we visited relatives together and had the usual "Gosh are't you growing!" When Carol sloped off with our cousins, I tagged along. The conversation slipped to girlie talk and the rest of the boys moaned and left. When I did not leave but stayed and joined in, I reveived a raised eyebrow. I reluctantly took the hint and went off on my own. Carol did not stay for the rest of the holiday but had an excuse about staying with friends from college. Mother moaned about her little kiddies growing up. But she seemed happy in a way that Carol was expanding her horizons and getting her own life. The looming mock exams meant I was busy revising. The exams in january went alright and I continued to study. After Easter I was too busy with school and my final exams to vary from my path. Mother kept me busy and it was not until I had finished that the pressure eased up. Through our letters I arranged to visit Carol again just before the end of her university term. On the train I took my case into the toilet and there converted Paul to Paula. When I stepped off the train I was a vulnerable, pretty young girl. Carol and Fizz greeted my with much hugging and kissing. At the house we chatted away like a old friends. Relaxed, friendly and just how it ought to be. "Fizz" I said "I know you helped in getting me to accept my feminine side, and I want to thank you. I hope we will be friends for a long time" 25 When we heard Charlie at the front door I suddenly felt nervous about our meeting. I stood and straightened my skirt. brushed myself day and felt the clammy cold of my hands. `What would she say?' `What should I say?' `How do I tell her about me?' These and many other thoughts assaulted me and made me almost lose my nerve. The decision to keep Paula now started to shake. Carol say my anxiety and gave me a pecked kiss on the cheek. "Steady there girl. You're gonna be alright. Trust me" I tried to smile at her. Charlie burst into the room. "Hi all" She grinned. Then she spotted me and stopped in her tracks. "Paula!!!" Her eyes opened in what? Surprise? Shock? She threw herself towards me almost knocking me off my feet. Her arms were around my neck and suddenly we were kissing passionately. I held her firm body to me tightly and never wanted this moment to end. We came up for air stared at each other for a while then resumed our passionate kissing. "Come on you guys, lets get some grub" Carol said patting Charlie playfully on the bottom. "I didn't know you were coming round" Charlie gushed. "It's so good to see you" "And you" I replied quietly. My eyes were downcast. I still hated having to deceive her. "Hang on." I said, as I suddenly understood her comment. "Didn't Carol tell you I was coming for the weekend?" "No." She grabbed my hands. "I kept asking about you. And asking if you could come to stay again. I mean It's not as if it's really a problem. Carol seemed very evasive. I wondered what was going on. I thought maybe she had something going with you and was jealous, or something. I don't know" "I know it's been difficult. I'll explain it all later" I reassured her. As usual over supper Charlie jabbered away telling us all about the rowing finals, her feelings and thoughts about her team mates. Her conversation was peppered with innuendos puns and jokes. She was great fun to be with. After clearing, up we carried the remains of the bottle of wine though to the sitting room and all cuddled up to each other round a pair of new bean bags. "So what have you been up to?" Charlie asked at last. "Oh finishing my `A' levels and not a lot else. I said sighing. It had been hard work. "Well what did you do when you weren't studying?" She continued. "I read. Played a bit. I really haven't had much time for hobbies or anything during this last year. " "Why the pressure? I mean it's surely not that important is it?" "It may be. My parents are divorced and Mum works hard to look after u.. me. I almost tripped up, but corrected myself in time. "I want to be able to get a job, leave home and support myself." "So what do you want to do?" Charlie was by now gently stroking my leg. "I don't really know" I said and realised I had been hoping to discuss this very subject with the girls this weekend in the hopes of seeing a way forward. Very soon all four of us had hands exploring each others bodies. Clothing started to get loosened and discarded. I was the only one who kept any clothing on. "Let me." I said as I pushed Charlie back and kissed her firmly. I pulled her meagre clothes from her gorgeous body. Once I had her naked, I kissed her from her neck down her small firm breasts, over her trim tummy and slowly down to the sweet smelling piece of heaven. I still marvelled at the effect her smell had on me. I lingered over her curly tufts then slobbered wetly down the side of her puffy lips. I went carefully around her lips, avoiding her sensitive bits until she opened like a flower. Then I gently licked and sucked closer and closer to her hardening little hood. When I attacked her button she was thrashing and moaning in wild abandon. I sensed her approaching orgasm and licked harder until I felt her warm gush to my tongue. I slowed my licking and sucking, enjoying the sharp taste of her lubrication. Then eased myself back up her body and lay contentedly stroking her fabulous body. When Charlie had revived a little from her orgasmic high she started stroking my legs until she reached the soft cotton panties at my crotch. When she touched me there it felt so wonderful. I wanted her to go further and yet I didn't want the sensation to stop. As her fingers sought out my intimate bits I reluctantly pulled away. Charlie open her dreamy eyes to loom at me questioningly. I realised now was the time. "Charlie I..." How to start? "Charlie I can't go on likes this I need to talk to you" She looked concerned. "What's the matter girl. I don't understand." "Charlie. I care about you deeply. I may even love you, but I need to tell you. I'm ... I'm Oh shit. Look sit up and be serious for a moment. " Charlie Sat up and pulled her knees towards her. She frowned. I knew this wasn't going well. "Charlie I'm really a boy." I had reverted to my normal voice. She gasped and her eyes widened in shock. "What?" "I'm sorry I didn't want to deceive you. This was not meant to happen this way. I'm Carols brother Paul." Now that I had started It was going to get easier. But it was still going to hurt. "What?" she gasped again. At least she hadn't run screaming from the room. "I came to visit her last year. I arrived as a boy. She told me this was an all girl house so Carol and Fizz helped me dress up like this. Actually I had been dressing as a girl for a long time before that. Fizz and Carol have been helping me. I sort of, well I thought you were wonderful and funny and sexy and beautiful and what happened just sort of happened. I didn't stop it then because I thought it was all going to be over after that first weekend was over. But I really want to see you again. I'm sorry I don't like deceiving you" There were the beginnings of tears in Charlie's eyes. "I need to think about this" She said grabbing her clothes and striding from the room. Carol and Fizz had sensibly stopped their petting and kept quiet. Now with a nudge from Carol Fizz left the room. Carol knelt next to me. "That was well done" She said. "I don't know how this will work out but I will support you in whatever you want to do." "I didn't want to tell her you were coming to stay, in case you changed your mind. Or didn't want to get too involved." She stood up. "You better sleep on the sofa" Although it was still early I guessed she wanted to go upstairs and join Fizz. Carol left the room. When she returned a few minutes later with the sleeping bag and pillow, she was naked. In other circumstances I might have reacted or commented. Instead I continued staring at the floor. After a long while I removed the bulk of Paula's clothes. I kept the bra and panties on and wore a nightdress that Carol had loaned me, then crawled into the sleeping bag. The Sofa was hard and lumpy and I found it difficult to get to sleep. It was nearly dark when I heard the door open and soft footsteps across the room. "Paula?" It was Charlie's voice but soft and subdued in a way I had not heard her before. In a way I was surprised that she still thought of me as Paula. "Yes I'm awake." She sat on the floor next to me. "I think. ". She stopped as if searching for the right words. I knew what she felt like. She had come back to talk to me and hope blossomed within. "I think it's you that I like. I don't know how we can be friends but somehow I want to still be friends" "That would be nice." "I thought of myself as a lezzy. But I suppose technically I am not" She said. "Well that's the tricky bit. You thought I was a girl and we made love in a girly fashion." "I don't really like boys. Yet I like you. It's a bit confusing." "Then treat me like a girl. Forget I am or ever was a boy. Think of me as Paula, That's who I want to be." "Do you... Do you want to have... You know THE op?" "I really don't know. I don't think so. I may decide to go that route in a few years but I don't think so." "What do you want to do?" "Well I want to move away from home so that I can live in girls clothes. To enjoy dressing and acting like a girl. I much prefer Girls Company when they think I am a girl too. It's very different from being a boy and being treated like one. "What about sex?" "That's something I am still discovering and learning about." "What does that mean. What I mean is how do you... What do you..?" "I don't know. If you mean `How do I have sex? ` then I have in the past masturbated as a boy. However with Fizz I have discovered that petting and, I suppose, masturbating more like a girl is far nicer. " "Last time I was here I kissed you down there. Fizz was rubbing me and stroking my own pussy. I do think of it as a girls pussy. Fizz rubbed me and I thought I was in heaven. Just bringing you off and watching your pleasure, tasting your nectar is almost enough on it's own." "Do you really mean that?" Charlie reached for me and stroked my cheek. "Oh yes. Yes I do." "When I first discovered. Well oral sex... No! I discovered watching a neighbour getting it from her boyfriend. But shortly after that I was sort of forced to do it to Fizz.." "Forced?" Charlie asked. I told her about the day of Carols dress fitting and the reward they gave me. How I was tied up and more or less forced to pleasure Fizz. "The truth is, at the time I desperately wanted to do exactly that. And it was all I dreamt it would be. I love pleasuring you. You taste so good. Like.. like I don't know There is a hint of Marmite, salt, sweet. But it taste good. I love it when you `Cum'. You gush." "And I love the way you talk like that. I love what you do with your mouth. You're better than any girl I've been with. " She leant against me and sighed. "Well at least come and sleep with me tonight. I don't know how we're going to get along but I want to work it out." "Ok" We held hands climbing the stairs and fell into Charlie's bed. We didn't do anything, just fell asleep in each others arms. Content with each other. It was certainly more comfortable than the sofa. 26 I woke to the feel of Charlie kissing me. "Morning sleepy head." I gazed into her beautiful face. What a wonderful way to start a day. I smiled back. We cuddled for a while and stroked each other. Our hands gently explored each other. "Can I ? You know. See how you do your..?" I nodded. Charlie threw back the bed covers Hesitantly she drew my nightdress up to my chest. "You look so girly there. I really can't believe this." Slowly she drew my panties down. There was my curving `Pussy' "Wow" she breathed. Slowly she reached out and touched me. As her fingers made contact my hips twitched. Her fingers felt nice against me. I pulled the night dress up further and showed her my waist shaper. I turned over so that she could see the `Gaff' and how it was fixed to my waist shaper to hold my male organ in it's place She undid it and freed me. Unwrapped my little parcel. My organ sprang to attention. "I prefer Paula." She said. "So do I. So do I." "Does it hurt?" "No. There is a slight discomfort, if I happen to be stiff when strapping it in place, but that soon passes and it just feels nice. I love the way it looks. " "Don't you have any hair?" "No. I shave every day. It doesn't take long." "How do you go to the toilet?" She was so inquisitive. At least she was not turned off. "I have to loosen the gaff. But I just pull it forward and sit down. Then I do it like a girl." Charlie giggled. "Can I put it back now?" "Yes. Please." Charlie wrapped my male organ back into the `gaff' and tied it away. She pulled my panties back up again. "It is amazing. You do have a lovely mound. Very like a girl." "But not as pretty as yours." "Do you think so?" "Oh yes." I said. "As a boy I have looked at a few magazines. You are by far the prettiest." She giggled again. Still rubbing my mound. I could feel the pleasure building. Charlie lay next to me again but carried on rubbing me between the legs. I turned and kissed her and returned the complement, touching tenderly over her soft sweet lips. Very soon we were both gasping and writhing in joy. We came within minutes of each other in gentle un-hurried orgasms, and broke our impassioned kiss Carol burst in with the morning tea to find us in the same position. "Well you two seem to have worked things out." She said. "Yes!" I replied happily. We both sat up and drank our tea. "Oh Gosh! " Charlie gasped lookign at her watch. "Gotta rush. Meet me in town at ten." Charlie dressed quickly and left me to shower, shave and dress up. At breakfast I told Carol about our conversation and what had happened. She was genuinely pleased for me. We sat and chatted for a while until we had to walk into town. Charlie had told Carol to meet her at the sundial. We had a half hour walk to get there. Charlie was waiting for us and smiled as we approached. We hugged and kissed, then Charlie grabbed my hand and led my across the road. We were in a rather nice boutique. Charlie started grabbing clothes and piling them on her arms. I followed a bit bewildered, until she held one of the skirts against me. "That would suit you." "But I can't afford that" I said shocked. "Alright. My Treat." She said simply grabbing at some more things. "But Charlie you can't" "Says who?" She said sternly. "But why?" "Because I want my girlfriend to look pretty. I want to see you in more feminine sexy things. So that's what you're getting" "But Charlie you can't mean it." "Oh yes I do. Now shut up and enjoy." "Ok. And thanks." She pulled out lots of pinks and red clothes, lots of blouses and skirts. Several dresses. Then arm full of underwear. I could not keep up with her. We were all loaded when we left. I nearly died when I saw the bill and again protested. "No!" Charlie said firmly. "No more nonsense or I shall have to spank you." I smiled at her joke. But shut up. We walked for a while until we came to a rather dinghy back street off the main road. A shop set back from the road looked very dodgy to me. But Charlie led us inside. The interior was a surprise. It was elegantly decorated and quite up market. We put down the bags and Charlie led me to and assistant. I was told to remove my skirt and blouse. The assistant then measured me and studied me for a while. I was led to a fitting room and the three girls had me try on about half a dozen corsets. Charlie bought me a couple of waist shapers similar to the one Fizz had given me. There were also three full body basques with really stiff boning, a couple of bustiers, And some full corsets even bigger than the basques. Only one of these was suitable for immediate use. The rest Charlie paid to have fitted to take my `Gaff'. If I had any doubts about the strangeness of the situation, the shop assistant showed no sign that anything was out of the ordinary. I dressed again and we continued on our way. The next stop was another rather rundown looking shop. Inside were an amazing range of articles I could not even begin to describe. Charlie bought several things. She had such confidence and seemed to know what she was doing. I just stood around like a spare part. We were a heavily burdened party as we made our way back to the house. After a brief lunch Charlie insisted on ushering us into the sitting room to try everything on me. I loved the restricted feeling the basques gave. They made my boyish body look much more feminine. I tried on all the bras, panties, slips and clothes. After over an hour of dressing and undressing we were all almost drunk on giggles and emotion. I held Charlie to me and kissed her with gratitude. "I don't know how to say thank you. I just love it. I never expected to ever own such lovely things and never so many." "You will have to leave some of them here. But you should be able to take some back with you. If you are careful." Carol advised. "Gosh I'm nearly jealous, you've got some nicer things than I've got." "I know and I will try to show my thanks." I kissed Charlie again, until we were both panting for breath. That night I dressed in my most appealing, prettiest underwear. I chose the things that Charlie had said she liked me in best of all. Then I made love to her in her bed. I was slow and gentle and careful. I used my mouth and my hands to arouse and excite her. I spent ages bringing her to the brink then backing off and cooling down. All the time trying to show my love and appreciation. Then I intensified my efforts to bring her to a series of orgasms that left her gasping. Finally late, late at night she gasped. "Enough. Enough." Almost as soon as I stopped, she fell deeply asleep. I lay beside her and cuddled her. Happy in the knowledge that her body was mine to enjoy. 27 I think waking to find Charlie kissing me, persuaded me that I wanted nothing more out of life. Charlie got out of bed first. She laid out clothes for me then dressed herself. Her wardrobe was very limited. She did have a few pretty feminine things, including a black velvet dress that I would love to see her wear. Mostly though Charlie wore black jeans and sweat shirts. Whilst Charlie was making our morning tea, I showered, shaved and got myself ready. She reappeared in time to help me adjust my gaff and kissed me as I tried to straighten my new, pretty panties. We broke apart, giggling. When Carol asked us if we slept ok, I blushed but Charlie said "Not much sweetie "My little tart here kept me gasping all night. She is one hell of a good lover." I blushed again. "Enjoying yourself?" Carol asked looking at me with raised eyebrows. "I never knew life could be this good." I said honestly. "So! Are you ready to go a step further?" Charlie asked putting her hand on my leg. A brief flicker of fear darted across my mind like a mayfly. Then my trust in Charlie resurfaced. Carol had blackmailed and forced me to go where I was not at first willing to go. Now I never wanted to go back. I knew that it was a cultural expectation that I had been frightened of. I had wanted to go there deep inside. Charlie had pushed me a bit further and bought me wonderful things that made me tingle in delight just thinking about. I would trust Charlie with my life. I probably was doing. "Whatever you want dear." I said, content in my love of her. "In that case maybe a day out." She said, "We'll be back for supper tonight." She said to Carol. "I've cancelled rowing training for today. I'm gonna take my sweet little tart for a drive." I blushed at the name she kept using for me. A tart was something naughty. Yet I loved being thought of as girl. Her tart. The mixture of emotions it bought to me made me blush. Much later I realised that was why Charlie used it. She like seeing me blush. I did not know Charlie had her own car. We had previously walked round town or used Fizzes Mini. Charlie led me behind the house to a locked garage where she kept her car. It was a bright red sleek, mazda sportscar. I clapped my hands together in delight. "Wow" That must cost a fortune. "Not so much sweetie." She said casually. I held my skirt and climbed into the car in the way I had learned girls should do. The seat was almost on the ground. Inside smelled of new leather and polish. I was in awe. I thrilled at the deep throaty roar as Charlie started the engine. We drove out of town and headed for the motorway. Once cruising comfortably Charlie reached over and placed a hand on my legs. She slid up to the stocking tops and caressed me. "What are you really doing at University?" I asked. "You mean why?" "Yes." I said. "There is more going on than you talk about. And yet you really do talk" I teased her about her ability to talk all day. Charlie smiled. "Mostly I'm trying to be independent of Daddy. There is also an element of it that mirrors your own situation. Back home I'm expected to be a young lady. Whenever I wear trousers I get a lecture. There's an expectation of me that I hate. They want me to be somebody I'm not. At Uni. I can relax. I like pushing myself at the sports I enjoy. I try not to think of the future beyond that." "When did you find out you liked girls?" "You mean when did I discover I was lezzy?" She was so brazen. "I guess I have always been that way. I like pretty things, just, not on me, "Hmm!" Here eyes seemed a bit distant for a while. I was glad the motorway was not busy. "There was a party. A family do. A couple of years back. Even the kids got hold of some bottles. We really had our own party in the family room. The grown-ups party was in the main hall and overflowed to the pool." "it sounds big" I questioned. "Yes. A fair sized house. Not a mansion exactly. There are only 10 bedrooms. It does have a ballroom big enough for 50 or so people to party. Father had patio doors fitted on the back that open onto the patio by the pool. Then there is the pool house itself. With a bar, showers, a snooker room and a sitting area with easy chairs and such. "Anyway, I was saying, the adults had their party, and the youngsters party was in the family room. At first several `Mums' kept an eye on us, but I guess they gradually got distracted. A cousin broke out a bottle and we all started drinking. It got quite riotous. The boys started trying to grab girls. There were a few relationships already and some of the couples were snogging in corners. One of the guys hit on me and was coming on a bit strong. I didn't really like him, He was a bit too macho. He took after his Father with his arrogance. Jailed for fraud recently I think. He tried to kiss me but was hopelessly drunk. He got his hand up my skirt and I had to fight him off. He opened his trousers and grabbed my hand to try to get me to hold his dick. It was quite horrible. Then suddenly he was making a sticky mess all over my dress." I smiled at the memory of my own lack of control only a year ago. "I can't remember much of the rest of the night. But trying to clean the dress before Mother found out was tricky. The next day the house was still in total devastation. Dad was ill. Mother called in a firm to help clear up. Several relatives had stayed. Some had planned to. Some just collapsed round the house. God it was a wonder nobody drowned. There were people sleeping in chairs and everything. An older cousin, that I knew my parents hated, saw me trying to clean the dress in the outhouse and asked what had happened. I was so angry at the oaf who did it that I told her. She told me she could be my `Fairy godmother' And showed me how to clean it and even helped me dry the dress out. She was great. I could not see what it was that my parents did not like. While we were cleaning the dress she was touching me and stroking my cheeks and being very affectionate. I liked her. Anyway, everywhere I went that day I kept bumping into her and she was always half dressed. She had a very pretty smile. She was nice and I was attracted to her. When she started kissing me I did not resist. She was good too. She made me feel good. She loved my tiny tits. I was a bit nervous when she first touched my pussy but she did make me feel good. It was all too easy to end up in bed with her. We had a great time. If my parents ever found out they would kill me. We tried to see each other after that but it didn't last long. I gather she likes them young. I still see her occasionally. When I came to Uni. it was an escape. A time to be me. There was a boy in the rowing club I rather liked. We sort of went out together for a while. After much arguing, we had sex. He was gentle, and I guess he tried his best. I just didn't like it. I didn't like the mess. I don't really like things inside me. Fizz tried to use a strap-on dildo on me once." "A what?" I asked "A dildo. You know." "No. I don't. I've heard the word but.." "A dildo is and artificial dick. Normally they are hand held to help girls get off. I've got several. A strap-on one is fixed to a belt kind of thing, that a girl can wear, to shag another girl, like a guy. Fizz uses one sometimes. She is fairly aggressive. She tried it on me, not long after we started sharing a bed. As I said, I don't like things inside me. I didn't enjoy it. I much prefer hands and mouths, especially you - sweet lips. God I'm getting wet just thinking about your tongue." She smiled. I blushed. "After the guy I was a bit uncertain for a while. I knew I enjoyed my cuz but apart from my own fingers, I hadn't had much experience. I got stuck into the rowing and ignored a lot of the social stuff. One of the girls in the team made a pass at me. It was clumsy and If I was not wavering I would have ignored her. I gave her a go and we had a good time for a few months. It convinced me to stick with girls. She was just not the right one for me. I met Fizz at some Uni. thing and she was very obviously lezzy. I approached her and we had a few times together. She suggested sharing the house. It's a good arrangement. We all get on well. Then I realised she had this long term thing with Carol, but likes to venture out occasionally. I realised I couldn't get too involved. And I don't like the dildo, which she does. I have shared her bed a few time for company. We've had several threesomes too, which can be fun. I've had a few one nighters. I get bored with my own fingers." "I never realised girls could be like that." "Like what?" "You know. Play with themselves." "Masturbate. Play the pussy. Strum the thumb. Yes. Most girls I know do. Some only occasionally. Talking to the girls in the team they all say they want more sex, the more they train. The joke in the team is the cox who likes cocks." She giggled at her joke. "I do find after a days hard training I get horny as hell." "And since you're asking questions. Let me tell you another thing. Uncle Julian. Dear uncle Julian. He's another embarrassment to my parents. He is as they say, `As bent as a nine bob note'. I like him. He's great fun. As gay as they come. Makes no secret of it. He can be really nice. Very proper, You know." She mocked a typical British accent. "But when he relaxes he's a bit ducky. I met him once with one of his boyfriends and he was all dressed up as a girl. Lovely purple frilly dress. A pair of big frilly panties, that he flashed everyone. He is so completely over the top. He's quite a hoot." She sounded affectionate. She seemed to admire him. "Now I am not attracted to him in that way at all. And he has no interest in girls. But I like him. He's kind of refreshing from the stuffiness or arrogance of so many of my family. As an Uncle he has been good to me. What I mean is... I rang him on Friday to chat about you." I was a bit taken back that she had talked to anyone. I was not used to this. I realised I was going to have to get used to it. I hade made my decision. I had been honest with Charlie. I was going to have to get used to this sort of situation. "And?" "He was very helpful. He's very caring. He asked me lots of questions and made me think about the situation from a different angle. Then he suggested a few things to try. Yesterday developed from that conversation. And, you see, today developed from yesterday." "What does that mean?" "You will see shortly." We sat in thought for quite a while and soon we were dodging down the back streets of some strange town. We parked at a meter by some shops. I tried to get out of the sports car in a ladylike fashion and smiled to myself when I saw several blokes at the building site staring at me. We crossed the road, rounded the corner and Charlie led me into a small shop. There was at first no indication of what it did. Inside I realised this was a sex clinic. This shop was my Aladdin's cave. They specialised in helping boys become girls. I never knew such a place existed. I was overwhelmed with relief, as I realised that there must be considerable demand to sustain a shop of this sort. Over the next few hours, Charlie bought me a lovely, realistic pair of silicon breasts. They stuck to my chest and filled my bras. They felt good. Almost realistic. "Bitch." Charlie Joked. "They're bigger than mine." I smiled and kissed her. We bought new penis gaffs, shoes, wigs. There were specialist products to hide my meagre stubble. Then best of all some hormone treatments. We had a long discussion with the staff and settled on a program that we all agreed to. The journey back to Carols and Charlie's house went by so quickly. I kept trying to say my thanks to Charlie. She kept on about how I would look and then going off at tangents with the sexual preferences of some of her friends. How she knew so much I really do not know. After a light supper we quickly retreated to Charlie's room. I wore the breast form under a red lacy Basque. I wore the new gaff under a pair of outrageous black panties. I made up my hair. Repaired my nails. I loved the way I looked. Charlie almost couldn't keep her hands off me. Then we made love. This was not just sex anymore. I loved her more than anything. I did everything I could to pleasure her. She must have orgasmed ten to fifteen times. I had two small orgasms under her gentle touching, and finally a big overwhelming one, when she pushed me hard and rubbed my Panties with one of her Dildoes. After that one I could hardly move. We slept the sleep of exhaustion. 28 I dressed simply to say my goodbyes. I packed as much of my new stuff as I could manage, and left the rest in Charlie's room. We had tearful goodbyes, before Carol drove me to the station. I changed back into some of my male clothes on the train. I left on the soft sensual female underclothes. I still wore a bra and panties, stockings and garter belt and a satin slip. Then I put on my trousers and a brushed cotton shirt. I put trainers on my feet and sighed. I greeted Mother with a kiss and told her some of Carols news. It was hard to invent stories of what I did over the weekend as I could not tell what I really had done. I did tell her about Charlie. Most of that I could tell her the truth. I was keen on her. She was fun. Chatty. Pretty. Mother smiled quietly to herself, but I could read her mind. She thought I had at last got myself a girlfriend. Well I had. I went to the end of year party, It was fine but I really wanted to go as Paula with Charlie. I got myself a summer job to earn some money and waited for my exam results. Soon Carol came home for the summer. She was not going to stay for long as she had arranged some holiday with Fizz. Mother moaned about her spending too much time with `That girl' . Carol was sweet and we chatted a lot and did `girl talk' together. We tried to think of ways to talk to Mother about the future. We both knew that sometime we would have to break the news and it was not going to be easy. I was using the hormone treatment and enjoying some of the changes. My skin improved. My meagre beard growth slowed down. The creams and hormones had also started my own real breasts growing. We had to do something. After some discussion we decide to try to arrange a meeting. Carol contacted Fizz and I contacted Charlie. We arranged for Carol to have a small birthday party and more or less told Mother that they were coming. There was a sombre mood to the present opening. The happiness of the occasion marred by the forthcoming talk. We wavered a lot of the problem of my appearance. I never wanted Charlie to see me as a boy. I never wanted her to have that memory to influence her relationship with me. Fizz arrived early and although greeted enthusiastically by Carol got a very cool reception from Mother. Carol and Fizz spent most of the day in Carol's room. No doubt getting intimate. They socialised a little. I stood by the front window waiting for Charlie. When her sports car roared into the driveway I ran upstairs to my room, stopping to inform Carol. Carol and Fizz greeted Charlie warmly, and introduced her to Mother. I could hear laughter and knew Charlie was her usual happy self. I carefully selected the clothes. I put on my breast forms, waist shaper and gaff. I put on stockings and suspender belt. I put on the silkiest bar and Panties. Then my most flattering skirt and silk blouse. I brushed out my hair to the style Charlie liked. I painted my toes and finger nails. I put mascara on my eyelashes and applied light make-up to my eyes and cheeks. Finally I slipped on a pair of light sandals. I took a deep breath and tried to summon all the courage I had. To say I walked downstairs would be a gross understatement. I sashayed. I progressed. I was going to be a woman. And now was one of the critical moments. I stepped into the lounge. Carol had arranged for the thee girls to be together and for Mother to be there and hopefully sitting down. She stood and looked shocked as I walked in. Who was this stranger in her house? When the understanding dawned, her eyes widened and her hand shot to her mouth. The fact that nobody else reacted probably slowed her down, by then the girls were greeting me as Paula. Charlie flung her arms round my neck. I returned her kiss, then tried to cool her down. Carol and Fizz greeted me as an old friend. Carol quickly handed everyone a glass of wine and motioned for Fizz and Charlie to sit down. Mother gulped at her wine almost in a trance. Carol and I stood by the window, waiting for the moment. "Mother.." She began. "There are some things we need to talk about. "But dear not now. Not with guests in the house." She was still trying to get a grip on herself so this was said without much conviction. "Precisely with the guests in the house." Carol said firmly. "Firstly I am gay. I am a lesbian." She breathed a sigh. She had said it and there was no going back. Mother's face turned white. "I know you always hoped I would meet Mr right and give you grandchildren, but Mother. Fizz and I are in love and we intend to live together. An yes we have sex together and have done so for a long time." She hesitated then took another deep breath." I know this is a shock but we have to face the truth. I'm grown up and am leaving home. I'm sorry, but thats just the way it is." Mother stuttered. Trying to find some solid ground under her shifting feet.. Carol looked sideways at me and I took my queue. "And although you think of me as Paul your son. I am going to become Paula." I used both of my voices to emphasise the difference. "I have been a transvestite for a long time and I am going to live the rest of my life as a woman, and... " I took a deep breath. "I am going to be living with Charlie here. We met last year and have been in love for most of that. So in a sense we will live together as two lesbians as well." Poor Mother nearly fainted. She gulped at her wine and was near to tears. Give her her dues. She didn't break down or scream hysterically. That day I threw all of my old boys clothes away. Charlie helped me pack and we took the next couple of days ferrying things to the house they shared. Carol stayed for a few days then she and Fizz went off on holiday together. Mother coped although she was bitterly disappointed. She never really came to terms with our decisions. She kept saying "Whatever makes you happy dear." but it always seemed a bit forced. She never asked any questions. She lied to most of the relatives and made us swear not embarrass her. We tried to maintain contact but it was forever distant. At first Charlie supported me while I learned to type and do secretarial things. She said she would support me forever if I kept my tongue busy on her. I wanted something else though. I learned a trade and got a job. We lived together and shared things as a couple. When Charlie finished at University we bought a house together. She mostly worked from home. She also wanted to keep up a lot of her sports. I accompanied her and helped as a maid and secretary. A year or so later we arranged to get married. The simple ceremony at the registry office was interesting in itself. I tried to keep to my promise of never letting Charlie see me as a male. So I was a man being a girl pretending to be a man. The result was distinctly androgynous. We had a few pictures for her to send to her family. We still had not worked out how to clear things properly with them. We then had another ceremony with all our friends and only a couple of relatives, including of course `Uncle Julie-an' For this we dressed the way we really wanted. I was lavishly dressed as the bride and Charlie was the bride groom. It was a great party and everything a wedding ought to be. We decided to follow through and that night I went to bed as a demure blushing bride, in pretty scanty baby doll. Charlie came to me wearing a big strap on dildo. She took my `anal virginity' and penetrated my `pussy'. We spent the night exploring each other and finding news ways to please each other. We finished in our usual manner of me tonguing Charlie to her climax whilst she rubbed my panty covered mound to my own wonderfull orgasm. We both enjoyed the dildo, partly for the strong symbolism. We occasionally used in our love making afterwards, but it was never the main part of our sex. Carol and Fizz live only a few miles away and we are still good friends. We've even shared a bed occasionally.