Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. Message Board Beaver Butte School District Home of the Battling Beavers IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO ALL PARENTS One of the unintended consequences of our shift to year round schools is the increased cost of cooling the schools and other administration buildings during the summer months. In addition, the increased cost of energy is quickly draining our resources. In an effort to reduce costs and promote conservationism, we have decided to increase the thermostats in all buildings to 95 degrees during the summer months. Obviously that means classrooms and offices will be quite warm. In an effort to mitigate this problem, the school board decided to relax the dress code. Shorts, miniskirts, tank tops, and halter tops will be permitted. Emphasis will be on comfort. Questions regarding particular dress code issues will be dealt with as they arrive. Please log on regularly for any updates or to ask any particular questions. Thank you for your support. ***** IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO ALL PARENTS The first week of Project Greenhouse is behind us and, unfortunately, we have a problem. Students and staff continue to dress according to the former dress code. With temperatures ranging in the 90's in the classrooms, long pants and dresses are just too uncomfortable to promote an atmosphere of learning. Please adjust your wardrobe accordingly. If you have questions, don't hesitate to post them here. I will answer as quickly as possible. ***** FROM JOHN BOYEUR TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) Thank you for your comments above. Jennifer, my 13 year old daughter has complained about the heat. She wants to wear some miniskirts that she wore last year. Unfortunately, she has outgrown them. They are quite short. Fact is, when she bends over (which she seems to do a lot) you can see her panties. Is this acceptable? She says they are really comfortable. ***** FROM IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO JOHN BOYEUR As long as Jennifer wears panties within the dress code, I don't think there will be a problem. I've noticed my own modesty has decreased in the pursuit of comfort. ***** FROM WANDA SMUTHSLYT TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) My 8 year old son, Jimmy, runs around the house (and even the yard) in his underwear. Of course, he can't go to school in just his underwear, but can he go shirtless? ***** FROM IVANA HARDON TO WANDA SMUTHSLYT I've spoken to the school board and they've agreed that boys can be shirtless in class. Put little Jimmy in some shorts and send him on his way. We'll be glad to have him. ***** FROM NEENA KACH TO IVANA HARDON We have a problem with the cheerleading uniforms. They were not designed for the kind of heat we are experiencing in class. They are polyester skirts with tight shorts and warm tops. The girls are miserable. Today was the first pep rally and the squad nearly passed out from the heat. ***** FROM IVANA HARDON TO NEENA KOCH I agree. The kids looked miserable today. Please do some research and let me know what you recommend. ***** TO IVANA HARDON FROM PHIL FEDOPILE Ivana, like Mrs Smuthslyt, my boys are most comfortable running around in just their underwear. Wearing shorts really isn't much different. Just one more thing they have to put on. Can they just wear their underwear? ***** TO IVANA HARDON FROM GLORIA STYNBOTTOM Ivana, I noticed that you have permitted boys to attend school topless. I would like to remind you that, based on state law, females are allowed to go topless anywhere that males can. I understand that few women take advantage of this fact, but it is the law. I respectfully request, therefore, that you adjust your dress code to permit female students and staff to attend class topless. Failure to do so may force me to pursue legal action. ***** FROM IVANA HARDON TO GLORIA STYNBOTTOM Although I hate to give in to threats, our lawyers have confirmed your facts. Based on state law, females can be topless anywhere that males can. Furthermore, even changing our policy so that boys must wear shirts doesn't remove the risk of discrimination charges. Therefore, beginning immediately girls at Beaver's Butte my attend class topless. ***** FROM IVANA HARDON TO PHIL FEDOPILE I'm sorry, but your boys may not come to school in just their underpants. Short shorts are acceptable and underwear is not required, but underwear alone is not acceptable. ***** FROM JOHN BOYEUR TO IVANA HARDON Jennifer reads this board regularly and noticed that you stated boys don't have to wear underwear to school. She tells me that the same rule that applies to tops should apply to panties. She announced that she intends to go to school tomorrow wearing nothing but a short skirt. I've told her that you will never permit it. Please confirm. ***** FROM IVANA HARDON TO JOHN BOYEUR After speaking to our lawyers, they confirm that your daughter is correct. Although we expect everyone to wear underpants, we do not require it. Jennifer can come to school wearing only her skirt. ***** FROM NEENA KOCH TO IVANA HARDON I've been reading the previous postings with interest and think I have found the perfect solution for our Beautiful Beavers Cheerleaders. Loincloths! They'll promote our Indian heritage as well as being cool and comfortable for the girls. Originally I designed it with a front panel and a thong covering the genitals. Now that is unnecessary. I've redesigned it with 2 short panels covering the front and back held together by a leather tie hung low on the hips. The front panel will have the Beautiful Beaver logo and the back panel will have each Beaver's name on it. Another major advantage to this uniform is that it can be worn by every squad, from our elementary Baby Beavers through our varsity! ***** FROM IVANA HARDON: TO NEENA KOCH: What will the tops look like? ***** FROM NEENA KOCH TO IVANA HARDON They won't wear a top. Just the loin cloth. ***** FROM IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO NEENA KOCH I'm not sure we can really go that far. Just a couple of weeks ago we reduced the dress code to allow us to increase the thermostats in the buildings, reducing costs and promoting conservation. Now we have nearly naked kids (and some adults) roaming around campus. By sanctioning this uniform we officially promote this type of nudity. Not to mention the physical exposure these young girls would endure during their cheerleading routines. We also need to consider ramifications beyond our campus. We're already running into an issue with these half dressed children walking home after school, strolling into stores and restaurants. What happens when we take our Beautiful Beavers to away games? Thoughts, anyone? ***** FROM TESSI TEEZER TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) As the varsity cheerleader captain I can tell you the Beautiful Beavers love the new uniforms. The old ones are unbearably hot! We're willing to do whatever it takes to save the world!!!! ***** FROM BILL LICHER TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) As the owner of the Dairy Mart (across the street from the HS, home of the 99 cent banana split-"We split 'em-You lick 'em!") and the parents of 5 kids I wanted to put my 2 cents in to this discussion. I have no problem with the kids coming into my restaurant wearing the new style. They look much cooler now than they did wearing jeans and various other items unsuited to our 100 degree weather. The Beautiful Beavers are welcome in my shop any time. They can lick our bananas no matter how little they're wearing! ***** FROM REV LELAND YUNGLUV TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) It is a disgrace that we are even having this conversation. The very idea that hundreds of young girls and boys are cavorting and carrying on wearing little to nothing is disturbing. As you know, I pray under the tree in the schoolyard at lunch each day. I counted no less than 11 different young girls without shirts! They were jumping, running, and rolling in the grass. One can only imagine what kind of abuse their budding breasts are enduring. I even saw 2 little girls with no panties at all, hanging upside down from the jungle gym, their hairless little slits glistening in the sun for all the boys to stare at! This disturbed me so much I felt compelled to do a full panty and underwear check. I put the girls in one line and the boys in another, facing each other about 5 feet apart. Then I demanded that they drop their pants or skirts. The fact that virtually all of them did so without complaint proves the depravity that these poor children have already fallen in to. Of the 15 girls, four of them were bare assed! The rest, God be praised, had proper panties on. The boys were another matter. Only 3 of the 13 boys wore underclothes. The rest were as bare as could be. By the sight of their little erections, this was most certainly perceived by them as a sexual situation. Suspecting that the bare girls were similarly excited I examined all four. And yes. Each one was wet to the touch, both inside and out. So don't tell me these elementary students see this perversion as natural! I threatened to spank each of them for their sin, but Miss Dumash, wearing a scandalously short sundress so thin you could see her nipples (totally inappropriate for a 5th grade teacher) came marching out and demanded that I remove my fingers from the inspection of her students. Imagine that! A 5th grade teacher almost as bare as the student before me, telling me, a man of God, what to do! Needless to say, it is time we ended this perversity and dressed these innocent, naked children appropriately! ***** FROM IMA DUMASH (5TH GRADE TEACHER) TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) I stood in the shadows for 10 minutes, incredulous, as Rev Yungluv first undressed and then molested my young students right in the school yard. He had my entire class (15 girls and 13 boys) standing in a line facing each other. Then he commanded the children to pull down their pants or skirts to their ankles and step out of them. I expected them to resist, but they must have been so terrified that every one of them immediately complied. The poor boys were so scared they were as rigid as toy soldiers. Even their little penises were standing straight out. (I always thought they shrank when afraid, but I guess not). The girls were so afraid they didn't even stand with their legs together. Amber was spread so wide she was about to do the splits. Rev Yungluv walked slowly behind the boys then turned and walked between the two rows, looking carefully at each child. When he got to the end he told a little sermon. I didn't catch everything he said. Just bits and pieces. But it was filled with words like sin, lust, sex, and evil. At the end, his voice rose and he announced that a boy's lust was easily visible to the eyes but that a girl's was only detectible by touch. With that, he stepped behind Amber and slid two fingers between her vaginal lips. "Just as I thought," he announced with disgust. "Dripping with sexual lust!" Poor Amber was so frightened she was trembling. Her legs buckled and she would have collapsed if the good reverend's fingers hadn't been firmly planted inside her vagina for her to rest upon! He did this with each of the remaining 3 pantieless girls. I'm not sure what he whispered in their ears, but it must have been terrifying based on the way each girl trembled and cried out. The boys were terribly uncomfortable during all this. They kept trying to rub their penises, but Rev Yungluv would bark at anyone who did. When he acted as though he was going to remove the panties of the next girl in line, I stepped forward to intervene, telling him in no uncertain terms that he was not in his church and that future lectures must be done there. I then told the children to pick up their clothes and follow me. Those poor children had to walk all the way across the school yard and down 3 long hallways to my classroom naked or nearly so all because Rev Yungluv had them disrobe! Once in the classroom I explained that I needed to examine the 4 girls that the Rev had touched to ensure that he hadn't hurt them. I asked them to sit up on the desks and spread their legs. The naked little boys all gathered around, their poor little penises still throbbing like red hot pokers. They acted like they had never seen a naked girl before! Can you imagine?! I guess I don't need to tell you I'm, well, inexperienced. I'm an only child of a missionary couple and spent my entire childhood in a remote part of central Africa. Childhood nudity was common. All my friends ran around naked so I did too. I went to a very conservative college and this is my first year as a teacher. I've never really examined another body before. And I have certainly never, you know, touched myself before. Starting with Amber, I knelt down and gently opened her vaginal lips. She didn't look injured, but she was so incredibly wet, almost like she had peed herself, but different. And the way she moved when I tried to rub it away made me think something must be wrong. Some how I had to dry her off, but the more I rubbed, the wetter she seemed to get. Becky happened to be standing beside me. All she had on was her panties. Thinking quickly, I told her to take them off so I could dry Amber. Without hesitation, she did so. Problem was, they were soaking wet already. Suspecting that we had a widespread problem, I asked all the girls if their panties were wet. They all said yes. Explaining that I needed to find out what was wrong, I had all the girls remove their panties and sit on the desks. Then I asked the boys to help me by examining the girls' vaginas inside and out looking for anything that looked strange. I was amazed at how enthusiastically the boys jumped to the task. I fully expected them to be disgusted at sticking their bare fingers into the naked young girls' vaginal areas, especially since I had told them I thought the girls might be sick. But, no, they jumped right in, probing deep into the girls' vaginas, sometimes with 2 or 3 fingers, looking for something out of the ordinary. The poor girls were in obvious discomfort, writhing and groaning as we examined them. I asked Amber if she was in pain. She grunted out a harsh no, then her eyes rolled back in her head, her back arched, and she had a convulsion right there in front of me. I tried to pull all three of my fingers out of her vagina, but her hand had locked on to my wrist and I couldn't pull them out. I was quite alarmed, but after just a minute or so she settled down. Her breathing returned to normal and she was grinning. When I asked how she felt she replied much better. Becky beside me started moaning really loud. I looked over and little Billy was rubbing moisture away from her vagina as quickly as he could with no success. The more he rubbed, the wetter she got. Suddenly her back arched and she convulsed just like Amber did. After she settled down, she said she felt much better, too. That's when I figured it out. Whatever was making these little girls sick went away after they had a convulsion. I therefore told the boys to rub each girl as fast as they could to bring on the convulsions. In a matter of just a few minutes the rest of the girls were shaking and trembling on top of the desks. I would have been quite horrified if I hadn't believed that this was necessary to cure them. You -(TM)ll be pleased to hear that each one announced that she felt much better when done. I -(TM)d just started to relax when Billy tapped me on the side and showed me his little penis. -Miss Dumash, - he said. -I think they were contagious. I -(TM)m leaking too. - The poor naked boy looked so pitiful. His penis stuck straight out and, sure enough, clear fluid was dripping out of it. Well, I proudly admit that I am a quick learner. I figured if rubbing the girls made them feel better that rubbing the boys would work as well. I quickly kneeled down and began wiping the liquid off of his penis. Almost as soon as I started, his whole body stiffened and then his penis started pumping huge streams of white liquid. I knew this was semen (I -(TM)m not stupid) but I couldn -(TM)t imagine what happened to make it spurt out like that. I mean, we weren't having intercourse or anything. It hit me first in the cheek, then the chin, then a long stream landed on my white dress. He was making a huge mess and it wouldn -(TM)t stop, just kept shooting out. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to make an even bigger mess, I clamped my mouth on it and let him shoot down my throat. I know, that seems a little gross, to have a penis in your mouth like that, but I knew from growing up in Africa that some tribes added cow urine to their drinks, so I figured this couldn -(TM)t be too bad. Surprisingly, it tasted quite good. A little salty, but OK. I don -(TM)t know how a little boy could have so much semen in those little testicles, but it seemed like he would never stop shooting out. I could barely swallow it all. In fact, some of it leaked out and ran down my chin. He finally finished and I leaned back and looked up at him. -All better? - I asked. He just nodded with an odd little smile on his face. I looked around at the other boys and they were all leaking just like Billy had been. I quickly told the girls to copy what I had done so that the boys would feel better. Once again, the valor of my children surprised me. I thought they would be squeamish about putting a boy -(TM)s penis into their mouths, but not a single one hesitated. In fact, since there were more girls than boys a couple were left out and seemed quite upset at not being able to help their friends. I was incredibly proud to look around and see 12 naked little girls carefully sucking the penises of their classmates just to make them feel better. As before, it was only a matter of a few minutes before the boys were shooting their semen down the throats of the girls. Since the girls started with the penises in their mouths, they got a lot more than I did and most couldn -(TM)t hold it all in. Even though most girls had globs of white semen dripping from their chin, by keeping most in their mouths they kept what could have been a huge mess into a very small one. And then we had the fire drill! I couldn -(TM)t believe it! I had just cured all 28 kids of whatever vile thing Rev Yungluv did to them when the alarm went off! Please note that I followed school policy to the letter. I told the children to line up and we proceeded immediately out to the front schoolyard. Once we were lined up outside, it seems everyone was staring at us. I don -(TM)t understand why. I looked at the other students. The first graders were all lined up, most topless, with just shorts or skirts on. In some of the older grades, more girls seemed to have shirts on, but their skirts were really short. And then there was my row of naked little 5th graders. I must say, that in the stifling heat they looked much cooler than all the others in their clothes, even if the others didn -(TM)t wear much. I finally decided that the others must have been staring because so many of the girls -(TM) faces were dirty. Several of the girls had white globs stuck to their chin, and little Tiffany must have pulled away because she had several white ropes of semen lining her face. I felt something hit my breast, looked down, and realized that a glob of Billy -(TM)s semen had just dropped off my chin on to my bosom. Guess my girls weren -(TM)t the only ones who hadn -(TM)t had time to clean up. I couldn't bear to see my little girls with such dirty faces. Not seeing any towels around, I pulled off sun dress (don't worry, I wasn't naked. I had panties, well, a thong, on, wiped my own face off, then walked down the row of naked 5th graders. I squatted before each little girl and carefully wiped the semen off her face. Unfortunately, by the time I was done, my dress was far too wet and sticky to put back on. I had to spend the rest of the afternoon teaching in just my thong. All because Rev Yungluv insisted on using my children for his own morality sermon! ********** FROM JOHN BOYEUR TO IMA DUMASH I'm so sorry you had to spend the entire afternoon practically nude. It must have been terribly embarrassing to have all those children staring at your bare nipples. Were the children able to redress or did they have to spend the afternoon nude? ********** FROM MATT BATER (7th GRADE STUDENT) TO IMA DUMASH Miss Dumash, What did you wear when you went home? Did you have to go naked? ********** FROM IMA DUMASH (5th GRADE TEACHER) I don't know why you think it would be embarrassing to teach in my underpants. It was actually quite comfortable. And the children were angels as usual. And of course the children dressed. The girls' panties were too dirty to wear, but they all had skirts or shorts on. Matt, since I had to go to Target after school, I put my dress back on. I did get some unusual looks, with all those semen stains on my dress. *********** FROM IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO IMA DUMASH (5TH GRADE TEACHER) I'm pleased with your firm response to Rev Yungluv. You are correct that he did not have a right to inspect our children while on campus. If we were to permit him to examine each boy and girl we would have to permit everyone to do so. Imagine if every man in Beaver Butte was permitted to check the status of each child's underwear? We might as well ban underpants altogether! I'm sure you meant well in your own inspection of your students, however, I'm not sure it was appropriate to allow your entire class of 5th graders to engage in oral sex. That said, I am impressed with your personal comfort level regarding the human body. It is certainly healthier than our former health instructor's, Ms Isickle, God rest her soul. I would like to discuss both your judgment and your availability to take on the health classes tomorrow morning at 7:30 in my office. ********** FROM COACH NYNER (HEAD FOOTBALL COACH) TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) Quick note re: the cheerleader uniforms on away games. Each school district is required to accept the visiting school's dress code. They may not like it, but they have no choice. Personally, I think it'll give us an advantage! ********** FROM IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO NEENA KOCH (CHEERLEADING COACH) After meeting with the school board and our lawyers, we -(TM)ve agreed to permit the uniform change you -(TM)ve requested. Although the uniform as described is more revealing than the general clothing expectations for our students, it does not directly break the dress code and, quite honestly, cheerleading uniforms always push the boundaries of the dress code anyway. I don -(TM)t see why the same shouldn -(TM)t be true here. ********** FROM NEENA KOCH (CHEERLEADING COACH) TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) Thank you, Ms. Hardon. I assure you, you will not regret this decision. The team is so excited at the thought of performing in their new uniforms. We are designing a special performance for the big reveal at the next pep rally. ********** FROM BRAD KWIKCUM TO ALL The pep rally this afternoon was incredible! I loved the way the cheerleaders stripped out of their old cheerleader uniforms and into their new ones. But the best part was when they danced for the football team. I -(TM)m the wide receiver. The splits and flips were fantastic, but when Amber straddled my and sat down on my --lap. It was. Wow. Normally Coach Nyner requires that we wear our full uniforms for the pep rally. This time he had us just wear our workout shorts. Man was I glad. Of course, unfortunately I had to wash my shorts when I got home. ********** FROM IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO NEENA KOCH (COACHING CHEERLEADER) The pep rally was amazing, but I was a little surprised that you used the cheerleading squads from the middle and elementary schools as well. ********** FROM NEENA KOCH (COACHING CHEERLEADER) TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) We used the Young Beavers and the Baby Beavers primarily for numbers. As Brady Kwikcum noted, a major part of the great reveal was a personal dance for each player and coach. We just didn -(TM)t have enough Beautiful Beavers to fully satisfy each of the athletes and coaches. Brad -(TM)s response showed that this was the perfect happy ending to the entire pep rally. *********** FROM BOB GYRLYCHER (ASS COACH) TO NEENA KOCH You made a fantastic decision. I must admit that I was surprised to see the Baby Beavers prancing around in nothing but small loin cloths alongside the older Beautiful Beavers. But then when tiny 3rd grader Tiffany Tytshlyt bounced over and climbed on my lap it was a spectacular finale. She did a handstand on my legs (facing me), wrapped her legs around my head and then did push ups, sliding her head up and down between my legs. As Brad mentioned, we wore our workout shorts, which, unfortunately are quite short. I -(TM)m afraid they were, well, somewhat inadequate given the performance and individual attention I was getting. Somehow, little Tiffany anticipated the embarrassment I would face if others were to see my exposure. In an effort to keep it invisible, she hid it inside her mouth. This was fine when she raised herself up, but I fear she may have had some discomfort as she lowered herself down. In order to prevent the friction from hurting her throat, I was able to bend my head down and hold her still with my mouth. She still wiggled like a little worm, but when the finale was over, she was all smiles. At least once I wiped the fluid out of her eyes. Evidently I, umm, well, it was more than she could swallow, and since she was upside down, some ran into her eyes. But I cleaned it off and all was well. She returned the favor by licking some of her juices off of my face. I can -(TM)t wait to see what you cum up with for the next pep rally. ********* FROM STELLA TYTSHLYT TO COACH GYRLYCHER (ASS COACH) I -(TM)m so glad you enjoyed Tiffany -(TM)s performance today. She -(TM)s been practicing ever since Coach Koch explained that each girl would have a personal solo with a player or coach. Tiffany begged her daddy to help her practice. I offered, but they both argued that my being a woman would make a difference. Tiffany and her daddy practiced endlessly to perfect her moves. In fact, it was her daddy that came up with the handstand move, and Tiffany loved it. And please don -(TM)t worry, Coach Gyrlycher, her daddy experienced the same problem and came up with the same solution. Tiffany learned to use her mouth because if she didn -(TM)t the mess was just too much. She can -(TM)t wait until the game tonight. The Baby Beavers are performing during the 2nd quarter. ********* FROM LISA HUMPDICK TO NEENA KOCH (CHEERLEADING COACH) I -(TM)m an 8th grade cheerleader and I just wanted to say thank you for inviting us to the high school pep rally. It was way cool and so much fun. Like everyone else, I loved the solo. I was sorta nervous, but all the practice really helped. It took a few days to get used to the loincloth uniform. I -(TM)m not used to rubbing myself against something without at least panties on. At first all that rubbing hurt, but the girls figured out that if we licked each other down there for a few minutes, we would get wet enough to make all that rubbing feel good instead of hurt. I -(TM)m not real sure how it worked, but I swear that after Janet finished slicking me up good, it just kept getting wetter and wetter. That -(TM)s actually a good thing, cause it took a little while before the finale finally started. I was a little afraid that Mary Beth would drop me during one of the cheers before the finale. There was that one move where she lifted me up and I did the splits, resting on her hand. I thought I was too wet and her hand would slip. Fortunately she learned that if she stuck her fingers in my vagina (can I say that here?) and my bottom hole that she could hold on to me really tight. I know that sounds gross, but it actually worked really well and (surprisingly) felt really good. You might have seen us practicing it over and over. Anyway, I thought the whole thing was really cool. Thanks a lot. *********** FROM IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) TO NEENA KOCH (CHEERLEADING COACH) From the reports on this board, it appears that the pep rally was a rousing success. I admit, I -(TM)m somewhat concerned with the sexual overtones, but since no one has complained I suppose it is acceptable. I guess it is inevitable that sexual activity will result whenever teenagers and nudity are combined. As long as we recognize that this is for the greater good of our world environment all will be well. Any hints on your half time show against the Huskies? *********** FROM NEENA KOCK (CHEERLEADING COACH) TO IVANA HARDON (SUPERINTENDENT) The halftime show is shrouded in secrecy. We -(TM)re hoping to surprise everyone. *********** Send comments to: nightchallenger999atgmail.com