Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. The Einstein Show - Alyssa Mae Walsh (g8, nude, pee, celeb, parody) (Although some true elements appear in the following story, it is a work of fiction. It contains sexual situations involving children. It is not suitable for any reader under 18 years of age.) (Bailee Madison sounder: "Hey, kids, what time is it? [IT'S EINSTEIN TIME!] That's right!") Einstein: Welcome back, everyone! If you've been listening today, you know that Dylan and Liza have been looking forward to our next guest. You may have seen her in a movie or two. She's been in "Unfinished Business", but may be best known as the fucking cute spokesgirl for Joss & Main. Now, she's one of the youngest celebrity girls to ever be in "Playdate". Dylan: God, I love this girl. Like you said, she's fucking cute. And, damn, she's so young, Einstein: You like them young don't ya? Liza: You're just now figuring that out? We've been to how many parties? Einstein: A few that I know of. I remember the first one from two years ago at Sarah and Lisa's, and I recall that was over the top crazy. Liza: But I said it was an accident. Einstein: I know. But it doesn't change the crazy factor. Jay: Any chance she'll get naked for us? Dylan: Is that all you think about? Cute little girls getting naked? Jay: What do you mean? You know you want it, too. Einstein: Calm down, everyone. I don't expect her to get naked, but maybe she'll take her shirt off or something. But here's Rachel Platten with her "Fight Song". ("Fight Song" by Rachel Platten plays) Einstein: Rachel Platten on The Einstein Show. So Mikey D stepped out of the studio for a second. He went to the green room to get our next guest, Joss & Main spokesgirl, and now in "Playdate", Alyssa Mae Walsh. The lesbians can't wait to meet her. Vicki: You make it sound so bad, Einstein. Liza: We promise to behave. Dylan: We promise. Pinky swear. Mikey D: (enters the studio) Einstein, she's outside the studio. Einstein: Well, let her in, Mikey D. (Mikey D opens the door and lets Alyssa in. Einstein plays a fanfare for her.) And here she is, the goddess of Joss & Main, actress Alyssa Mae Walsh. (Alyssa sits on the couch.) How are you? Alyssa: I'm great. How are you, Einstein? Einstein: I'm great, too. Have you met Dylan and Liza? They seem to be your biggest fans at the moment. I've been having trouble keeping them controlled. Alyssa: That's what Mikey told me. Einstein: Did he tell you how wild they are in real life? Alyssa: Nooo. Einstein: Oh, they're pretty wild. But being around actors, you've probably seen some crazy stuff. Alyssa: Without a doubt. Einstein: First off, how old are you? Alyssa: Eight. Einstein: Eight? That's all? Damn! No wonder Dylan and Liza are nuts for you. Alyssa: They like young girls? Dylan: Yeah. You should come to a party with us sometime. You'd have a lot of fun. Einstein: Parties that come with a warning label. Anyway, so tell us about yourself. We don't know a whole lot other than you've done some movies, and the Joss & Main ad from last year. And I can tell you're still losing teeth. She's got a couple of gaps. Alyssa: Welllll, I was in " Unfinished Business" and "Labor Day" in small roles, of course. I mean I was four when I did " Unfinished Business". I'm still waiting for the big break. Einstein: Well, it seems your big break was that Joss & Main ad. Seems like everyone has seen it. Alyssa: That's what I've heard. Many of my friends have seen it and they love it. Einstein: And now you've done a pictorial for our good friends at "Playdate". Now, you've had some small parts in movies. What made you decide to just take your clothes off and pose for "Playdate"? Do you think it might jump start a real career in movies and television? Alyssa: Well, my mom said my agent thought it might be a good way to get attention for future projects. I mean he says that it might help get my name out there to producers. Dylan: So, who did your pictures? Alyssa: Rachel did the photography. She made me feel at ease. Einstein: Yeah, Rachel is our great friend. She comes east whenever we ask to just audition girls to be in the magazine. We just love to death. Anyway, so Alyssa is on the front cover standing in front of a Christmas tree. They covered her body in wrapping paper, and then ripped off a portion of it, showing her belly and part of her kitty. And, damn, I love it. Alyssa: Thanks. Einstein: I open it up, and, God, what a babe! First off, you got a bangin' belly. Alyssa: Thank you. I love my belly. Einstein: Hopefully, you'll get a movie or TV project that will let you show it more. And you got a cute little ass there. Dylan: Shit, yeah! Liza and I fantasize about your ass all the time. We like touching the magazine where your ass is. Einstein: Ladies, you're gonna scare the shit out of the poor girl. She doesn't know if you're a fan or a fucking stalker. (Alyssa smiles) Liza: Come on, Einstein. She's loving this. See that big ass smile on her cute little face? Einstein: Yeah. So Rachel gets your clothes off in the studio. But, I also see some pictures out in some trees and fields. Did some people see you naked in public? Alyssa: A few. I was scared for awhile. But Rachel got me through it. Einstein: Oh, fuck, I love this picture! I guess you're in some ice cream or yogurt shop. Alyssa: Well, Rachel drove us from the studio down to Melrose Avenue. Einstein: Which is in Los Angeles, kids. Alyssa: Yeah, and she took several pictures of me showing my belly button. Then we went inside the ice cream shop, and ordered ice cream shakes. Rachel asks if it's okay for me to be naked in the shop. Einstein: Obviously, they say fine and.... Alyssa: I take all my clothes off, and sit on the stool, and enjoy a strawberry ce cream shake. Einstein: How was it? Alyssa: The shake or no clothes? Einstein: The shake, of course! Alyssa: Oh the shake was to die for! Strawberry ice cream with real strawberries added in. Very yummy, Liza: How about being naked? Alyssa: Nervous at first. Then I settle down and enjoy the shake. Einstein: Did people try to take pictures with you? Alyssa: Rachel said people could take pictures of me eating ice cream, but no pictures with me. Einstein: Yeah, that was a good idea. I can only imagine what it would be like getting felt up in public like that. Alyssa: Yep, then she took me to a park and I had to pee. Einstein: So what did you do? Alyssa: Well, we found a quiet place away from everyone. Then I took my clothes off and peed. Einstein: And they have a few of those, where she's doing her business. I guess you're really lucky you didn't get caught by the police. I can only think what they might say about a naked eight-year-old outside having to take a piss. Anyway, I am late on a break. But if you want to join in and talk with the cute and sexy Alyssa Mae Walsh, call 1-855-EINSTEIN. That's 1-855-346-7834. Want to see lots of goods? The new December issue if "Playdate" is unwrapping the girls of the season. Starting with Alyssa Mae Walsh getting unwrapped in the latest nude celebrity pictorial. Plus see the new Playdate of the Month from Oregon getting naked outside, and celebrating the holidays. And the big announcement....who is the new Playdate of the Year? All that, plus Playdate models share their plans for the holiday break, sex advice, and more. All jam packed into the December 2015 issue of Playdate. Pick it up at your favorite kiddie store or subscribe by calling 1-855-LUV-2-PLAY, or log onto playdatemag.com. More with Alyssa Mae Walsh on "The Einstein Show" coming up after this. 5:17 Einstein: It's "The Einstein Show", and we're back with movie and commercial actress, Alyssa Mae Walsh. Just eight years old. She's been two movies so dar, with two more coming out soon. What all have you been in? Alyssa: Well, I worked on "Unfinished Business" when I was four. Einstein: Just four? Alyssa: Yep. Einstein: Okay...what else? Alyssa: And then I did "Labor Day". "Black Mass" came out a few months ago. And then "Year By The Sea" should be out next year. Einstein: So you've been a little busy. And you managed to get a day to go do "Playdate". Alyssa is in the new December issue of "Playdate". But you've most likely seen her in a TV commercial for Joss & Main. She's the cute little spokesgirl touting the virtues of the company. Alyssa: Hopefully, I'll get more commercial work. Einstein: Can you stand up for a minute? (Alyssa stands up.) How tall are you? Alyssa: Fifty inches. Einstein: Fifty, eh? Alyssa: That's what my mom said. Einstein: Now if you're watching us online, you know that Alyssa has a cute little shirt on, and some pink jeans. Alyssa: Yeah. Einstein: Now, we got some fun little questions for you. Alyssa: Okay! Bring them on! Einstein: English or Math? Alyssa: Well, considering I have to read for movies or commercials, I have to say English. I like math, too. But I love English more. Einstein: Cake or ice cream? Alyssa: Come on! I have to choose cake or ice cream? My mom is watching out in the hall. What if I say cake? Einstein: Well, do you like cake? Alyssa: Oh, I love cake and ice cream. Especially after being naked in that ice cream shop. But I think if I picked one or the other, I'd never have both again. Einstein: Oh, we'd never try to do that to you. Oh, here's a good one. Do you prefer Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus? Alyssa: Well, my mom and I are fans of Taylor Swift, Mom doesn't like Miley Cyrus at all. She thinks Miley Cyrus is a whore. (The crew bowls over in laughter.) Einstein: So, wait a second. We're laughing because your mom called Miley a whore. Do you know what a whore is? Alyssa: Yeah. Who do you think taught me? (Crew still laughs while Einstein tries to do the interview.) Einstein: I feel like I've list control. Liza: Nah, you're doing fine. Vicki: I admit I don't know of many eight-year-old girls who know what a whore is. Sure, teenagers know. But not the young ones. Alyssa: Well, Mom taught me well. Liza: I got one! Blondes or brunettes? Alyssa: Well, I'm a brunette. Right? Einstein: Dark brunette. Yeah. Alyssa: I like blondes......but I love brunettes. Dylan: Yessss!! You and I should have some fun. Alyssa: Well, maybe after the show. Einstein: So you might play with the ladies. Alyssa: I might. Einstein: And if you want to play, call us at 1-855-EINSTEIN. That's 1-855-346-7834. In the meantime, let me tell you about one of my favorite places in the world, the Loliwood Store. Andrea loves checking out the boys in the magazines. I've seen her open the page, and touch the picture where the penis is. If you're like my wife, or you love boys, head to Loliwood and check out their huge selection of nude boys. You already know about the big selection of naked girls. We talk about it all the time. And don't forget the books, videos, lubes, gels, dildos, and toys. Check them out online at loliwood.com for information and locations. More with Alyssa after this. 5:26 Einstein: Back with Alyssa Mae Walsh. We have just a minute before the next break. But we want to welcome a brand new sponsor, Emily's Chest. Emily's Chest is the haven for your girl. No matter if their needing their first bra, or they want sexy underwear, Emily's Chest is there to help and judgment free. This week, bras and panties from Laurie Terry on sale at twenty percent off. Fresh brand thong underwear is just two for $24.99. Plus they also have gels and lotions for your little lady. Go check them out a emilyschest.com or call 1-844-4EMILYS for store locations. In the meantime, give us a call at 1-855-EINSTEIN. 1-855-346-7834. Back after this. 5:30 Einstein: Back with more of "The Einstein Show" and Alyssa Mae Walsh. Now you may have seen her in a movie. But more than likely, you've seen her in a commercial for the website, Joss & Main. She's just absolutely the cutest thing in the room. She said she prefers Taylor Swift. Here she is with her latest, "Wildest Dreams". ("Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift plays.) Einstein: Taylor Swift telling you about her "Wildest Dreams". It's the latest from "1989", her big album. I guess, Alyssa, if you had an album named after your birth year. Alyssa: It would be "2007". Einstein: Eight-year-old movie and TV actress, Alyssa Mae Walsh, is here. She's getting unwrapped on the cover of "Playdate", and naked inside. We have several callers lined up. Matt in Texas, you're on "The Einstein Show" with Alyssa Mae Walsh. Matt: Hi, Einstein! Einstein: Hey, Matt. Matt: Hi, Alyssa. Alyssa: Hey, Matt! How are you? Matt: I'm great. So, you did "Playdate". You didn't get to do anyone, did you? Alyssa: Do anyone?! Einstein: He's asking if you had sex during the shoot. Doesn't look like you did, or we'd see them. Alyssa: Oh, no. I'm lucky I got naked. No sex right now. Matt: Is there someone you would like to have relations with? Another actor or even actress? Alyssa: Oh, I don't know about sex. Pretty early if you ask me. I do enjoy watching Disney and Nickelodeon. But I don't have anyone in mind. Matt: Well, damn! Einstein: We're you hoping for a shot at her, Matt? Matt: Nothing wrong with that, Einstein. Einstein: No, not all. How old are you, Matt? Matt: Sixteen. Einstein: What do you think, Alyssa? Even if it's just a blow job. Alyssa: Blow job? Einstein: You would be sucking their peepee. Alyssa: Maybe. When we were in that ice cream shop, I saw some guys' peepees. Einstein: You did? Did you like them? Alyssa: They looked big to me. Einstein: You think you could get one in your mouth? Alyssa: Maybe. Einstein: We can always hope. Ben in Connecticut, you're on "The Einstein Show". Ben: Hey, Einstein. Hi, Alyssa. Alyssa: Hi, Ben! Ben: I've got the pictures right here next to me. I love your belly and your butt. Alyssa: Thank you. Ben: I was wondering what you think is your best feature. Do you think it's your butt, your belly, or your pussy? Alyssa: I think we're in agreement. I love my butt and belly. Einstein: I love your butt and belly. Alyssa: Thank you. Einstein: Got to take a break. More with Alyssa Mae Walsh on "The Einstein Show" after this. 5:46 Einstein: Alyssa Mae Walsh is here on" The Einstein Show". She's a movie and TV actress, and now she's getting unwrapped under the Christmas tree on the cover of "Playdate". Alyssa: Yeah! Butt naked! Einstein: Damn straight! And damn sexy! Dylan and Liza are still drooling over the pictures. Dylan: Liza and I wanna take her home tonight and have some fun. Einstein: Well, Alyssa, would you consider two girls for fun? Alyssa: What would we do? Einstein: I think they want to suck your kitty, and paw all over you. Alyssa: Dang! Although that sounds heavenly. I can't do that today. Going back home tonight. Liza: Shit! I'd love to be able to make love to her. Einstein: Well, if she ever comes back, you all can have a fuckfest. Alyssa: I don't know. I think that would freak my parents. Liza: Bring mom. We'll put her at ease. Alyssa: Hey, Einstein, when I was at "Playdate", Rachel mentioned you guys had special shirts for the girls. Einstein: Yeah, we sure do. Would you like one? Alyssa: May I please have one? Einstein: Sure! Just take your shirt off. (Alyssa removes her shirt.) Dylan: Woohoo! I see a hot tummy! Einstein: Mikey D, get that girl a shirt. (Mikey D, the producer, brings out a pink crop top with the quote "I got naked on 'The Einstein Show'." Alyssa puts it on. The shirt stops just short of her belly button.) Alyssa: My belly button shows. Einstein: Yeah, we want you to. And we have another call for Alyssa Mae Walsh. Emily in New York, you're on "The Einstein Show". Emily: Hi, Einstein! Einstein: Hey, Emily! What's up? Emily: Well, I'm an actress in New York City, and was hoping Alyssa could recommend a good agent for movies. Einstein: What do you think, Alyssa? Alyssa: Go to LA. Lots of great agents. Find the best one. Einstein: Excellent. Let's take one more call. Christian in Florida, you've got the last question with Alyssa Mae Walsh. Christian: Hey, Einstein! Hey, Alyssa, are you hoping to stay an actress, or might you do something else? Alyssa: I'm not sure yet. Keeping everything open. I mean I posed nude hoping to get more work. I may wanna do this a long time. Einstein: Well, we hope you do. Alyssa Mae Walsh, it's been great to meet you. Hope the issue sells a lot. Hope to see you in a lot more movies. Alyssa: Thanks, Einstein, Dylan, and Liza. Great to be here. Love to come back. Einstein: Alyssa Mae Walsh, everyone. Pick up " Playdate" wherever you find magazines. More "Einstein" after this. 5:55 Einstein: That was fun getting to meet Alyssa and see her "Playdate" pictorial. Dylan: Liza and I wondered why we just didn't have her drop her pants. Einstein: You mean "Playdate" wasn't enough kitty and ass for you? Liza: We can see in "Playdate". But we can't really feel. Einstein: Well, I know it was hard for you to keep yourself controlled. Anyway, more on "The Einstein Show " on the way. Mikey put together a crazy game of "The Mad Dash". Mikey D.: Hell, yeah! Einstein: How many players? Mikey D.: I got you four players from ages ten to thirteen. Einstein: Another trivia game? Mikey D.: Of course. Einstein: You'll wanna stay tuned. More "Einstein" after this.