Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Flashback: Cousins

   By Mistress Diana

   June 1982: Yellow Oaks, Virginia

   It seemed like the day would never arrive when I'd be free of high
school, but arrive it did.  My parents, always eager for a party, threw a
huge bash to celebrate.  Most of my family was there plus my friends and
friends of my parents.  I was glowing all day from the attention heaped on
me and the promise of things to come.

   The party was actually a double one - my cousin Robert is the same age
as me and he was also graduating.  He is my first cousin on my father's
side and our families were close.  We spent most holidays together and
other events.  Robert was like a brother to me, especially since I was an
only child.  Since we were kids we were very close and I always enjoyed
being around him.  However, in the last few years we didn't see each other
as much as we were always busy with our own friends.

   We lived an affluent life in the suburbs of Alexandria, Virginia.  Our
fathers were brothers and both had good government jobs.  Neither of our
mothers worked and generally life was pretty good.

   That day we were enjoying each other's company.  I couldn't help but
admire his good looks.  He wasn't that tall, but he was built and I could
tell he had been lifting weights.  His shoulder-length blond hair was
feathered back and it gleamed in the afternoon sun.  He already had a great
tan even though summer hadn't kicked into full gear.  More than once my
friends asked me about him and if he had a girlfriend.  I suspected he did,
but he was on the quiet side and didn't volunteer such information.

   As the day slid into evening everyone was getting a little drunk.  My
parents and their friends were dancing to disco.  All of my friends had
left to go to other parties.  Robert and I were allowed to drink as long as
we stayed put.  I was fine with that because I had a little surprise for
us. When the opportunity seemed right I found Robert and asked him if he
wanted to retreat upstairs to my room to get away from the 'adults'.

   He laughed that casual laugh of his and my heart fluttered a tiny bit.

   Once locked inside my room I asked him if he had even done cocaine
before.  His eyes widened and he shook his head.

   "Do you want to try it?" I asked, slyly.  "I don't think anyone would
notice."

   "Um sure, why not?"

   His sparkling blue eyes crinkled up as he looked at me mischievously. 
We had both smoked pot together whenever we had the chance, but tonight was
something new.  I pulled out the packet of coke and emptied it onto a
mirror and began to chop.  We sat on the floor close to each other.

   "Why don't you put on some music?  I have to hear something normal..."

   "Good idea," he said as he leaned over my pile of tapes.

   He pulled something out and within seconds I heard the first strains of
'Spirits in the Material World' drift out of my speakers.

   "Great tune," I said as I separated the coke into several fat lines. 
"The Police are so cool."

   He watched with interest as I rolled up a twenty-dollar bill.

   "Just watch how I do it," I said.

   He nodded and I lowered the bill to the mirror and snorted up the first
line.  I felt a small rush as it hit my sinus cavity.  I tipped my head
back and sniffed hard.

   "Whew!  Good stuff!" I said as I handed him the mirror.  "All yours."

   He took the mirror and did as I did.  I watched as the first wave hit
him.

   "Holy shit!"

   I laughed at him and took the mirror back for another snort. 
'Demolition Man' came on and I turned it up a little.  I passed the mirror
back to him and he did his second line.

   "Oh man, this is great, Beth.  How long have you been doing this?"

   I shrugged.  "Not too long - since the beginning of this year."

   "Do a lot of kids at your school do this stuff?"

   "Not too many - just the ones with money."

   He nodded.  Money wasn't a big deal with us so there was no need to
comment on it further.

   We sat there for a second then suddenly we both started talking at once.
We laughed and started going on about graduation parties and the fact that
we were going to college in the fall.  I complained about being 'forced' to
go to Penn State.  I had no idea what I wanted to do.  I was just going
because my parents wanted to get rid of me and my father went there.  He
laughed and said he was absolutely dreading Tulane.

   "Yeah, but it's in New Orleans," I said, sniffing.

   "True, but I really wanted to go to Caltech.  My parents said it was too
far away.  Go figure."

   I watched him clench his jaw so I passed him the mirror.

   "Do some more."

   "Yeah, I think I will."

   And so it went.  For the rest of 'Ghost in the Machine', we snorted and
talked nervously.  Meanwhile the party outside went on and we weren't
missed.  I slipped out and got us two beers.  Robert drank half of his in
one long gulp and leaned back against my bed.

   "Oh man, I feel so wired, but it's great," he said.  "My whole face
feels numb!"

   I giggled and told him that was par for the course.  My own face was
feeling that way as well as my teeth.  All the coke was gone now.

   "God, I want more," he said, clenching his jaw again.

   "That feeling will pass.  For now just go with it."

   He started to flex his hands and I could see the muscles in his arm
bulging.  I licked my lips and took a nervous sip of my beer.

   "Let me put on something a little more mellow - it will help you relax,"
I said.

   I flipped through my tapes and settled on Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'. 
Neither one of us could get enough of that tape - even after three years.

   "Perfect," he said and he pushed his hair back for the thousandth time.
"I'm so friggin' tense!"

   "Here, let me help that," I said.  "Turn around."

   He turned to face away from me and I got behind him and massaged his
shoulders.  I could feel all the tension in his body from the coke.

   "This coke feels good and bad at the same time," he observed.

   "Yeah, I know.  We probably should have spaced it out a little."

   He said nothing and let me work on his bunched shoulder muscles.  I had
lots of nervous coke-energy so I worked them hard and tried not to think
about how sexy his arms were underneath his shirt.  I dug my thumbs in
pressed hard.  He groaned a little but told me to keep going.  My hands
moved from his shoulders to his neck and I pressed a little at the top of
his spine.

   "Mmmmm, that feels good," he said in a softer voice.

   I felt him gradually relax as my hands worked on his shoulders.  He
began to lean back a little.  I smiled and enjoyed the nearness of him.  He
smelled so good that I took several long sniffs.  My head filled with the
scent of him and it made me a little giddy.

   I kept it up for a while until I had to stop.  Suddenly all the beer hit
me and I had to go to the bathroom.  I went into the adjoining bathroom and
shut the door and looked at myself in the mirror.  My face was flushed and
my eyes had a wild look to them.  I pushed back my long, brown hair that
was feathered just so and pulled my top down a little.  My breasts had
finally developed into something I could be proud of and I smiled as I
admired them just a little.  I had a quick image of Jeff, my kinda, sorta
boyfriend touching them and I shivered.  I ignored that feeling for now and
finished up what I had to do and returned to my bedroom.

   Robert was leaning back against my bed with his eyes closed.  Seizing
the opportunity, I let my eyes travel down his body taking every inch of
his tight shirt down to his tight jeans.  Then when I saw what was really
making his jeans tight, I gasped.  His cock was stiff and very noticeable.

   He heard me gasp and he opened his eyes.  At once his face flushed as he
realized what I was looking at.

   "I-I...um, this stuff made me...you know..." he stuttered.

   "Uh, maybe I should get back to the party," I said, not knowing what
else to do.

   I went to put the mirror away when he grabbed my arm and pulled me over
to him.  I half-fell, half-stumbled to him and was practically on his lap.

   "Robert, I-"

   I never finished my sentence.  He took my head in his strong hands and
brought my face to his.  Before I knew it, he was kissing me.  And it
wasn't just a nice brotherly kiss.  His mouth was hungry and eager.  He
pressed hard and forced my lips apart and his tongue was in - searching and
roaming.  I was too startled to resist.  My mouth opened to him and soon
our tongues were dueling.  Satisfied he had me, his hands began to move
down my back.  I could feel his hardness pressing against my ass and that
really turned me on.  I began to melt a little in his arms.

   When his hands got the waistband of my jeans, they slipped inside and
began to squeeze my ass.  I groaned against his mouth and then the alarms
started to go off.  He was my cousin!  I broke kiss.

   "Robert!  We can't do this!" I said, gasping.

   "Why not?  There's no law against kissing," he growled as his hands
pulled me close again.

   "It's not the kissing I'm worried about."

   I looked into his eyes at last.  They were so blue - impossibly blue.

   "So tell me what you're worried about, darlin'."

   I tried to pull away.  I didn't think I needed to answer that.  He
wouldn't let me go.

   "Are you a virgin, Beth?" he asked quietly.

   "Y-yes...and I want to stay one for a little while longer."

   He thought it over.

   "Fair enough.  You're going to wait for Mr.  Right, huh?"

   I gave him a look.

   "Yes - at least I hope so."

   He wrapped his arms around me and began to kiss my neck and my hair.  I
started to melt again - I just couldn't help it.

   "How about sucking my cock?" he asked suddenly.

   "I..."

   "Have you ever sucked cock?"

   "Yes..."

   "Good, because none of the girls I've ever been with would do that for
me."

   I was surprised.

   "Really?"

   "Yup."

   He looked at me and I could see the lust written all over his face.  He
really wanted me to do it and at that moment I wanted to do it.  I wanted
to finally see that cock of his and take it in my mouth and suck it hard. I
didn't care that we were cousins at that point - I had to do this.

   I gave him one last kiss and pulled away from him so I could get my
hands on the zipper to his jeans.  He smiled at me as I slowly caressed his
cock through the denim before pulling the zipper down.  I pushed the
material of his underwear aside and freed his growing shaft.  At once it
sprang out - fully erect and glistening with pre-cum.

   He let out a long sigh and leaned back a little more.  I went to grasp
him with my hand and he stopped me.

   "Wait," he said.  "Take off your shirt first - let me see those tits of
yours."

   I laughed a little and slid my shirt over my head.  His eyes drank in
the sight of my satin-encased breasts as I reached back to unhook the bra.
I pulled it off and sighed as they dropped out.  My nipples were already
hard from the excitement.  I couldn't believe I was doing this with my
cousin.

   "Fuck...yeah," he moaned.  "So big and full."

   He reached over and squeezed one aching breast and I shuddered.  I knew
my pussy was getting moist and I shifted a little.  I turned my gaze back
to his cock.  He put his hand on the back of my head and gently guided me
down to his lap.

   As soon as my lips grazed his cockhead he shuddered.

   "Oh my god, Beth..."

   I said nothing and begin to lick the smooth head of his cock.  I tasted
the pre-cum and knew it wouldn't take him long.  I tried to go as slow as I
could to prolong the pleasure for him.  At first that worked.  I let my
lips glide along his shaft as I gradually took him into my mouth.  As I
moved down, he shuddered and groaned over and over.  His hands clutched my
head and tried to push me down faster, but I resisted the best I could.  My
mouth kept a tight hold of him and my tongue flattened out so that it was
pressing against the sensitive underside of him.  When at last I felt his
head push against my throat, I thought he would cum right there.

   "Oh yes...stay right there for a minute," he gasped as his hands held me
in a vice grip.

   I froze my body and let him enjoy the feeling of his cock engulfed in my
warm, wet mouth.  After a few moments, he released my head and I moved back
up.  As my hand grasped him by the base of his cock, his hand reached for
my breast where he squeezed a few times.  It distracted me and my pussy was
beginning to throb.  I concentrated my efforts on sucking him and started
to bob my head up and down on his cock.  Whenever he tried to move and
speed up the strokes, my hand pressed against his chest to quiet him.  He
was still so wired from the coke, he couldn't help it.

   I sucked that magnificent cock of his deep into my mouth and got into an
easy rhythm.  His groans increased and I hoped the music covered them up.
His hands moved from my breasts to my hair, as he got closer to cumming.  I
felt his back arch slightly and his hips push up and I knew he was almost
there.

   "Oh fuck, Beth, yes!" he gasped.  "I'm gonna cum in your mouth..."

   I kept up the sucking and with one last thrust he unleashed his cum into
my waiting mouth.  Spurt after spurt of his jism flooded my mouth and I
tried to swallow it all, but it was too much.  It leaked out of my mouth
and down my chin.  His groans went on and on as I milked every last drop
from him.  His hands went through my hair.

   At last my mouth left his cock and he let out a sigh.  I sat back and
looked at him.

   "Wow...I never thought it could be so good..." he breathed.

   I smiled at him watched his chest heave as he tried to recover.

   "Don't try to get up just yet," I warned.  "You'll have a major head
rush."

   He nodded and I went to get my bra back on.

   "What are you doing?" he asked.

   "Getting dressed.  We can't do anything else."

   "But...what about you?"

   "Oh, I'll survive," I said nonchalantly.

   "But after that and the coke, I should do something."

   I shrugged.  "Don't worry about it."

   He watched me put my bra back on and get up to find a new shirt.  He was
about to say something when there was a knock on the door.

   "Beth?"

   It was my mother.  We both froze.

   "Yeah Mom?" I called.

   "Jeff is here and looking for you."

   The color drained from my face and I gulped.

   "Uh, ok - I'm just changing, be down soon."

   "Ok, don't be long."

   I looked at Robert and he looked up at me.

   "Jeff, huh?" he asked.

   "Yeah, you know about him."

   He pushed his cock into his pants and stood up.  He was standing very
close to me.

   "So you gonna go running off to him with another guy's cum in your
mouth?"

   "I-"

   He pulled me close to him and whispered in my ear.  "And are you going
to let him feel how wet your tight little cunt is?"

   I was shocked at how he was talking to me.  I had never seen this side
to him - it scared and excited me.

   "Robert, I gotta use the bathroom," I said, breaking away from him
before he could say anything else.

   I quickly shut the door and started to breath deeply.  I needed to get
rid of our sins and forget this whole thing.  Nothing good could ever come
from it and I had to stop right now.  How easy it would have been to ride
his cock instead of sucking it, I thought.  I shook my head and began to
brush my teeth.

   When at last I went back into my bedroom, he was gone.  The music was
off and I could hear the voices of people at the party.  It was still going
on.

   I took one last deep breath and stepped out of my bedroom to look for
Jeff.



   December 1982: Yellow Pines, Virginia

   It was Christmas and I was home from my first semester at Penn State.  I
found college much more interesting than I thought.  I had a great
roommate, classes were relatively easy and I lost my virginity at last. 
No, it wasn't Mr.  Right, but it was right at the time.  I guess I had to
chalk it up to alcohol, drugs and too much freedom After I got that hurdle
out of the way, I felt my sexual side awaken and I wanted to engage in many
more encounters.

   I ended up dating the guy I did it with for a little while, but I broke
it off, not wanting to be attached to anyone so early in my college years.
Instead, I had a couple of one-night stands and pretty much lived it up.  I
was enjoying the casualness of the encounters and it excited me.

   All during that time, I never forgot about my encounter with my cousin
Robert.  Many times after that night I replayed that scene between us.  It
fueled countless fantasies and I found myself with my hand between my legs
more than once.  I kept wondering what would have happened if I decided to
let him deflower me that night.  I knew he would have, but what kind of
implications would it have had?

   And I never forgot the words he said to me right after he slipped out.

   "So you gonna go running off to him with another guy's cum in your
mouth? And are you going to let him feel how wet your tight little cunt
is?"

   Every time I remembered that, it would send shivers throughout my body.

   So here it was, Christmas Eve.  Robert and his family would be arriving
soon.  I hadn't seen or spoken to him since that night and I was extremely
anxious at the prospect of seeing him again.

   I also was a bit horny thinking about it too.  I dressed in my best
black dress, which was a tad low-cut and short.  My mother gave me a
slightly disapproving look but said nothing.  My legs were clad in sheer,
black stockings and I wobbled slightly in my black heels.  My hair was
pulled up and wrapped around my head and a few strands hung down
strategically.  I felt pretty good about the way I looked.

   There was going to be many people there as my parents liked to take the
Open House approach with things.  Everyone was invited and they usually
showed up.  I figured it would be relatively easy to get some time alone
with Robert, although I wasn't sure what I would do if we did achieve that.

   I was busy socializing with this relative or that one and almost didn't
see Robert's family arrive.  There was the usual fanfare as they entered
the house.  Hugs and kisses went all around and gifts were handed out in
shiny bags with lots of ribbons.  I kept off to one side at first to get a
look at Robert.  He looked as good as ever in his dark suit and tie.  I
watched him greet my parents and then the unthinkable happened.  He turned
to introduce a girl who was taking off her coat.  I couldn't make out what
her name was, but I heard the word 'girlfriend' quite succinctly.

   Suddenly the blood rushed to my face and I felt very warm, but I also
felt very, very foolish.  Why should I be jealous?  He was my cousin after
all.  But there I was, getting boiled over it.

   "Beth?  Come over here and say hello," my mother said.

   I meekly came forward and hugged and kissed my aunt and uncle.  I
briefly hugged Robert but didn't kiss him.  I said hello to his girlfriend
and checked her out.  She was very pretty, although I was reluctant to
admit it.  Robert was so blinded by her he didn't notice my disappointment.


   I ran off to find my friends.

   The rest of the evening was turning out to be uneventful.  I spent most
of my time ignoring him and his 'girlfriend'.  I just didn't want to be put
into any awkward situations.  But I couldn't avoid him forever.  He finally
tracked me down as I was walking past my father's office.

   "Beth?"

   I swiveled my head around to see him standing there.

   "Oh, hi, Robert." I could feel my face getting red again.

   "Can we talk?"

   "Um, well, I need to, uh..."

   "Just for a minute."

   "Uh, ok..."

   "Let's step inside the office."

   We went into my father's office and shut the door.  I stood there
looking at him and willed the images of our last encounter out of my mind.

   "You've been a little distant all night.  Anything wrong?" he asked.

   "Um, no...I was just busy.  My friends are here and you know..."

   "It's about the night of our gradation party, isn't it?"

   I looked away and that was enough to tell him.  He stepped close to me
and put his hands on my arms.  I felt his closeness and I could smell his
cologne.  It set off a flood of images.

   "I never stopped thinking about that night," he said quietly.

   "Me neither," I said in a tiny voice.

   He leaned into me and I felt his breath on my ear.  I squirmed slightly.

   "You gave the most amazing blowjob.  I've never had one quite like that
since."

   "Not even your girlfriend?" I said with more than a little spite in my
voice.

   He laughed and pulled away from me.

   "Marie is just someone my parents thought I should date.  We both go to
Tulane.  They're hoping by dating someone, I won't go wild."

   I didn't believe him, but I listened.

   "I'm not going to lie and say we don't have sex, but she's not
as...passionate as you."

   I blushed slightly.

   "I really should go," I said.  "We're not resolving anything."

   I turned to go and he caught my arm.

   "Beth...don't go.  Please?"

   I looked at him and felt the shame welling up inside me.

   "Robert, what we did was wrong.  I know it.  I can't get that encounter
out of my head - but I really need to just forget it ever happened, ok?"

   He shrugged.

   "I need to go," I said.

   He didn't say another word and I left.  I didn't talk to him again for
over two years.



   March 1985: New Orleans

   Spring break at last.

   My friends and I decided to avoid the crowds in Florida and do some
serious partying in the Big Easy.  It wasn't a hard decision given that we
spent the two previous breaks in Daytona Beach and had enough of the crazy
scene there.  Some of my friends preferred older men to the usual selection
of immature college guys and I can't say I blamed them.

   As for me, I had dated some men on and off, but I never made any
commitments.  I was just along for the ride.

   But I also had another agenda.

   When I found out that we were going to New Orleans, I decided to make
amends between Robert and me.  He was still at Tulane and it would be easy
to arrange something.  I felt bad about the last time I saw him.  The next
few holidays and gatherings, he never showed up with his family.  His
mother always said he was busy with friends and I didn't press the issue.

   I guess I wasn't mad at him - I thought some time between us might dim
the memory of that night.  And, in fact, it did somewhat.  I didn't think
about that night as much as I used to and with the sex I was having, I was
definitely satisfied.  So, by that spring, I was ready to put it behind us.

   I got his number from my mother and must have picked up the phone a
hundred times before I actually dialed the number.

   He seemed genuinely surprised by my call, but his voice didn't harbor
any resentment.  I was very relieved at that.  I didn't try to apologize
for anything and just told him I was going to be in New Orleans and could I
go visit him?  He thought it would be a great idea.  His break wasn't the
same week as mine and he would be studying for midterms, but he would meet
me for dinner in the French Quarter.

   As I hung up the phone, I let out a sigh of relief.  I really did want
us to be friends again like we always were and this seemed like a step in
the right direction.

   Finally the night came.  My friends went off on their adventures and I
strolled the streets of the French Quarter to find the restaurant in which
we were to meet.  It was a beautiful night - the warm air caressed my bare
skin as I walked.  I could hear the strains of jazz hanging in the humid
air and could smell the wonderful smells of French cooking.

   For the occasion, I dressed simply.  I wore a white skirt, white pumps
and a pink, short-sleeved blouse.  My hair was curled and was the longest
I've ever had it.  I applied some lip gloss one last time and walked into
the restaurant.

   Robert picked one of the best restaurants in the city, but I didn't
expect anything less than that since he lived there.  I let the maitre-d
know whom I was and he led me over to table where Robert was waiting.

   His face lit up when he saw me and I smiled back at him.

   "Beth!  It's great to see you!" He gave me a quick hug and we sat down.

   "You too," I said.  I couldn't help noticing how great he looked.  I
realized he had 'grown up' a little since the last time we saw each other.

   "How's your break going?" he asked.

   "Oh, it's been fun!  Me and the girls have been out drinking every
night," I laughed.  "I can't imagine how you've been able to survive living
here."

   "It gets old after a while, believe me," he chuckled.  "But we do come
into the city every once in a while and let loose."

   We ordered drinks and continued to catch up on things.  Neither of us
mentioned 'that night' or Christmas Eve.  Instead it was like old times
where we were just cousins hanging out.

   "So are you dating anyone?" he asked after we ate.

   I stiffened slightly, not wanting to go in that direction, but it was a
fair question.

   "Um, not really.  Just seeing someone now and then," I said vaguely.

   He nodded.

   "What about you?  Still with Mary?"

   "Marie."

   "Right, sorry."

   "No, we broke up last year.  I don't have time for any relationships. 
School is pretty demanding."

   "Yeah, I understand."

   He let down his façade for just a minute and I saw something there that
I was hoping I wouldn't see and that was lust.  I quickly looked away and
excused myself to visit the bathroom.

   When I got back, he had paid the bill and was ready to go.  I thanked
him for dinner.

   "Now, let's have some real fun, you up for it?" he asked with a
mischievous look in his eye.

   I looked at him suspiciously.

   "What do you have in mind?"

   "Come on, I'll show you."

   And with that we stepped out into the night.



   About an hour later, my head was full of coke and I was flying.  Tucked
into a back alley somewhere, Robert had found a dance club and we went
inside to find it packed with people dancing the night away.  He gave me a
small packet of coke and I slipped in and out of the ladies room to snort
it.  In no time, my body was tingling from the rush.  Robert and I got out
onto the floor and danced to Prince.

   My drinking was pacing the coke intake, but I didn't feel it.  I was
going wild with the music and the lights.  I looked at Robert and he was
feeling the same way.  I could see the sweat glistening on his face as we
moved with the rest of crowd.  A couple of times I let myself look at his
body straining against his thin, tight shirt.  The coke was fueling my lust
and I wondered how long I would be able to ignore that.

   With Prince's sexy voice all around me, it was hard to resist that lust.
I was surrounded by men and women who were probably just as fucked up as I
was.  Everyone was a potential conquest, I thought.  We were all here to be
seen and hopefully picked out for a more intimate encounter in a hotel room
or a back seat.  I danced with the crowd and wondered what the night held
for me, but when I looked at Robert, I began to get an idea of what it
would be.

   When I started coming down off the coke, I asked him if he had any more.
He nodded and followed me off the dance floor.  He grabbed my hand and
slipped a packet inside of it.  I smiled at him and started to make my way
to the bathrooms.  When I got to the door, I felt him right behind me.

   "I'll be right out," I said, somewhat puzzled.

   "I know, but I'm coming in with you.  It's the last of the coke and I
want to share."

   "What???"

   "Come on, it'll be fine.  This kinda club - anything goes."

   I gave him a dubious look, but I realized he was coming in, regardless.
We slipped inside and no one gave us a second glance.  Everyone was too
busy either doing coke themselves or primping.  We slipped into a stall and
I was suddenly aware of how dangerous this situation could be.

   "Uh, you sure this ok?" I asked.

   "Sure," he grinned.

   We were standing close together and I fumbled to get my mirror out of my
purse.

   "I'll take that," he said and I watched as he emptied the coke onto the
glass and began to chop it up with a credit card.  Soon the lure of the
coke took over and that was all I could think of.

   I got the short straw I had in my purse and preceded to snort while he
held the mirror.  I groaned as the addicting rush hit my system.

   "Good, huh?" he asked.

   "Hell yes."

   He laughed and I held the mirror for him as he did the same.  We passed
the mirror back and forth a few times, doing it all.  We were oblivious of
everything around us.  When we finished I licked the mirror and put it
away. I was flying so high, I couldn't think.

   We didn't say anything for a minute as we were each dealing with the
incredible high we were on.  It was me that finally came to my senses.

   "We should get out of here, I'm feeling claustrophobic," I said in a
shaky voice.

   "No," he said, his voice breaking.

   I looked at his face.  It was flushed red and he was sweating.  He had
that look again and I realized I was helpless to do anything about it now.
He was blocking my exit out of the stall.

   "Beth, I...oh fuck," he said and then his mouth was on me.

   I found I couldn't resist.  There was no way I could deny my feelings
for him.  My arms went around him at the same time his did and we kissed
hard.  His mouth was so hungry when it sought mine and I was just as hungry
for it.  My mouth opened and I sucked his tongue inside.  He groaned when I
did this and his hands gripped my arms tightly.  I pushed my pelvis towards
him and felt his hardness pressing through his pants.

   His hands slid to the front of me where he gripped my breasts roughly
through my shirt.  That was too much for me and I broke the kiss and moaned
deep.

   "I have to see those breasts of yours again," he growled.

   He quickly unbuttoned my shirt and pushed it back on my shoulders.  He
grasped my breasts with his strong hands and began to lick the bare flesh
peeking over the top of my bra.

   "Oh god, so lovely," he murmured in between licks.

   I was too busy running my hands through his thick blond hair to think of
anything else.  Oh how I had wanted to do that.

   "Let me see those nipples," he said, pushing my bra up.

   My whole body tingled and then convulsed when his mouth took one erect
nipple.  He sucked it hard and I moaned again.

   "You like it hard, don't you?" he asked.

   "Yessss," I breathed.  To be honest, I never thought I did, but with him
I wanted him to use me.

   "Then tell me."

   "Oh fuck, Robert, bite me!"

   He bit down on my nipples and I cried out in ecstasy.

   "You like it, don't you slut?"

   I didn't even flinch when he called me a slut.  I loved it!

   He moved to the other nipple and sucked it deep into his mouth before
biting it.  I cried out again and urged him on.  Meanwhile my hands were
sliding down to rub his rock hard shaft through his pants.

   "You want that, do you?"

   "Yes, I do."

   "You want to suck my cock?"

   "Oh yes, please," I practically whined.

   He pushed me down on the toilet seat and unzipped his pants.  He pulled
his cock out and suddenly there it was - right in my face.

   "Ok, then suck it, you little whore."

   My body tingled all over when he talked to me like that.  I never had
anyone call me that, but with him, I didn't care.  It only fueled my
excitement.  I began to lick his cockhead and he tilted his head back and
groaned.

   "Oh god, how I've waited for this moment."

   I said nothing and concentrated on giving him pleasure.  My nipples were
on fire from the biting and my mind was racing from the coke.  All around
us I could hear music thumping and toilets flushing and girls chatting, but
I didn't care.

   "Ok, now take it deep.  Wrap those lips around me and suck me," he
commanded.

   I was more than willing to please him, I opened wide and engulfed his
cock in my mouth.  I was even able to deep throat him and he marveled at my
skill.

   "You're pretty good, aren't you slut?  You'll have to tell me how many
guys you do this with."

   That only inflamed me and I continued to suck and lick his cock.  My
hand reached up underneath him and I squeezed his balls.  He moaned louder
and finally pushed my head away.

   I looked up at him and I knew what was going to happen next.  I was
ready.

   "Beth, I want to fuck you so bad.  Are you on the Pill?"

   I nodded.

   "Good, now stand up and turn around."

   I did as he asked.

   "Lean forward and put your hands against the far wall."

   Again, I did as he asked and spread my legs for him.  He lifted up my
skirt and began to rub my ass through my panties.

   "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" he asked suddenly.

   "Y-yes...yes, I do."

   He laughed harshly and pulled my panties down.

   "Ok, now I'm going gonna fuck your brains out, cousin.  I've been
waiting a long time to do this."

   I felt his mouth on my ass as he began to lick it all over.  His fingers
reached between my legs and began to stroke my pussy.  It was already
pretty wet.

   "Wet already, aren't you, bitch?"

   "Yesssss," I breathed and spread my legs wide for him.  "I want you to
fuck me sooo bad."

   He said nothing and continued to rub my leaking cunt and lick my
asshole. I moaned and squirmed and begged him over and over to fuck me, but
he wasn't going to do it until he was ready.  He pulled my pussy lips apart
and stuck his tongue there.  With long slow strokes he began to lap at my
sweetness.  I shuddered all over.

   "You taste heavenly," he murmured.

   He licked and sucked my nectar and I could tell he would have done that
all night given the chance, but there seemed to be a sense of urgency in
the situation.  At last he finished and stood up.  I felt his cock brush
against my ass then it was pushing against my lips.

   "Ok, here it comes, slut.  I'm gonna fuck you good."

   With a sudden and brutal thrust he was in.  I cried out, not caring who
heard, and felt his cock completely fill me up.  It felt so fucking good.

   "Oh god, you're so tight, cuz."

   He began to push his cock in and out of me.  My body pushed back against
him wanting to feel him deep inside me.  He grabbed my ass with his hands
and squeezed tightly.  As he pounded me, my tits shook and quivered only
adding to the sensation.

   "Finger that clit of yours," he growled.  "I want you to cum hard."

   I reached down between my legs and found my clit hard and poking out.  I
rubbed it furiously and tried to steady myself.  He was fucking me so hard,
I had trouble staying balanced.

   "Uhhhhhhhhhh," I groaned as my fingers rubbed.  "Robert, fuck
meeeeeee..."

   He increased the strength of his strokes and I didn't think I would be
able to stand it any longer.  He was splitting me in two and I didn't think
it would ever stop.  But I was reaching the edge of my self-control.  My
body was beginning to spasm and my cunt was gripping his cock like it would
never let it go.

   "Ohhhhh...I'm gonna cum," I wailed.

   "Do it.  Cum all over my cock."

   I figured myself faster and suddenly my head exploded in white light as
I came.  I gasped and moaned.  His hands reached around to hold me tight so
I wouldn't fall.  I was so far gone at this point I thought I would pass
out.  All I could feel was his cock pummeling me and all I could hear was
his moans as I realized he was cumming too.

   He stopped thrusting and held me tight as his cock pumped load after
load of cum into my pussy.  He murmured my name over and over again.  His
tough-guy attitude was gone.

   Eventually he withdrew from me and I felt his cum running down my leg. I
wadded up some toilet paper and cleaned myself up.  All the while I wasn't
facing him.  I was feeling ashamed and exhilarated at the same time.  He
cleaned up as well and I heard the zipper of his pants.  I straightened out
my clothes and turned around to face him.

   His eyes shone with such tenderness I had ever seen in him before.

   "Oh Beth...Beth," he murmured and began to kiss my hair.

   I allowed myself to be held in his arms and vaguely wondered what was
next.

   "We should get out of here," he said.  "You're too good to be in here."

   "Um, ok," I said, not completely following that statement.

   We exited the stall and got several looks and smiles from the girls.  I
smiled weakly back and we left the club.



   It was pretty late, but since it was New Orleans, people were still
roaming the streets.  And most of them were drunk.  I was glad Robert was
there for protection.

   We were quiet as we wandered down the street.  He held my hand loosely
and I was too much of in a daze to even think about it.

   "Where is your hotel?" he asked.

   "It's right on Bourbon, near, um, Orleans?"

   "Oh, ok."

   We made our way over there and found ourselves standing in the doorway
of the hotel.  Suddenly things seemed awkward.  There was no way he could
come up - I was sharing a room.  And I knew he had a roommate, so it was
best we just part ways.

   "Can I see you again before you leave?" he asked in a quiet, calm voice.

   "Um, I doubt it.  We're leaving tomorrow afternoon."

   "Oh."

   We were silent for a moment, each thinking of the next opportunity, but
I knew it was silly to do so.  If anyone found out, it would be disastrous.
We knew it, but couldn't admit it.

   "I should really go inside," I said.  "One of my friends might show up."

   "Yeah, ok.  Will you call me when you get back to Pennsylvania?"

   "Oh, of course!"

   He smiled at me and I melted slightly.

   "Ok, then I'll let you go."

   We stood there looking at each other and he gave me a warm farewell
kiss.

   "Thank you for tonight," I whispered and he disappeared into the night.





   June 1986: State College, Pennsylvania



   Here I was again - graduating.  This time it was bigger.

   Everyone was there to watch me end one phase of my life and go to the
next one.  College turned out to be very rewarding.  I finally figured out
that I wanted to go into advertising and make it big.  I was getting my
degree in business with an emphasis on marketing.  I even graduated with
honors.

   My parents had rented out some suites at the most expensive hotel around
and were going to hold yet another party.  Most of their close friends were
there plus our relatives.  My mother had told me that Robert was even going
to be there.

   Robert.

   I never did call him after New Orleans.  I went back to studying and
dating and tried yet again to push it out of my mind.  But I failed
miserably.  That fuck in the bathroom with a head full of coke was the
single most exciting night of my life.  I spent many nights since then
masturbating to the memories of the way he treated me, but I never got the
nerve up to call him.  He called me a few times, but I was never there.

   I started seeing someone a little more seriously and spent the last two
holidays with his family Pennsylvania.  But things got too serious and I
broke it off a few months before graduation.  I wasn't ready.

   No matter who I dated or fucked, it never matched the intensity I had
with Robert that night.  Nor could I summon up the nerve to have someone
treat me the way he did.  No doubt they would have been shocked.  No, it
was my dirty little secret and it was surfacing again with the arrival of
my cousin.

   After all the ceremonies were over and I had my diploma in my sweaty
hands, I finally saw him.  He hadn't changed that much and my heart
fluttered when he smiled at me.  He came up to me and gave me a hug.

   "Congrats, cuz," he said warmly.

   "Thanks," I said, smiling back at him.

   I didn't see any trace of animosity there.  I was relieved.  He probably
came to understand that what we did that night was wrong and we needed to
stop.

   We walked together over the grass and headed to my car which was parked
kind of far away.

   "So you're off to New York and Madison Ave?" he asked.

   "Yup!" I was really excited about it and couldn't wait.

   "I'm really proud of you, Beth."

   I squeezed his hand briefly.  "Thanks, that means a lot to me."

   We walked a little further in silence.  My parents no doubt were herding
the masses back to the hotel.  I was expected to attend.

   "So, what about you?" I asked.  "Grad school already?"

   "Yeah, I got accepted to Caltech."

   "Oh!  That's great!"

   My heart sunk a little as I realized he would be on the opposite coast
as me.

   "Yeah, I'm looking forward to it."

   "You'll do well, I'm sure."

   At last we arrived at my car.

   "Are you going to the hotel?" I asked.

   "Oh absolutely - I wouldn't miss it."

   "Great, I'll give a lift over there."

   We drove over there and I pointed out different places on campus.  He
took it all in and didn't say much.  I was nervous and kept chatting.  I
was somewhat relieved when we got to the hotel.

   When we entered the suite, it was buzzing.  Everyone noticed us and
began to congratulate me.  Champagne was flowing all around.  I took a
glass and began to work the room, leaving Robert behind.

   Hours went by and I began to get a little tipsy and a little weary.  I
was wishing I had some coke.  I wondered if Robert did and found a chance
to catch him alone.

   "Yeah, I have some - I was hoping you would ask me about it.  I don't
want to do it alone," he said.

   We were standing close to the door and no one was paying attention to
us. Everyone was boozing it up which was not unusual at our parties.

   "Let's slip out to the hallway," he suggested.

   We left the room quickly stood in the hallway.

   "It's in my room down the hall," he pointed.  "We can do it there."

   I hesitated but he didn't seem to notice.  He grabbed my hand and led me
down to his room before anyone could see us.  We went inside and shut the
door.  Instantly, his hands were all over me.  He began kissing my neck.

   "Oh Beth, I've missed you..."

   I pulled away.

   "Are you sharing this room with anyone?" I asked, looking around.

   "Just my brother, Brett.  He's still at the party."

   Brett was Robert's younger brother by about three years.  He was going
to school at Princeton.  He was a very, very bright kid and their parents
had high hopes for him.

   I nodded and went over to the bed and slipped off my shoes.

   "Well, I guess there is no denying this, is there?" I asked.

   "What?"

   "Robert, I have never had a single night like the one we had in New
Orleans.  Ever."

   He sat down on the other bed facing me.

   "I know...God, I know..."

   He put his face in his hands.

   "I'm sorry I didn't call you," I admitted.

   "That's ok, I totally understand that."

   "I wanted to...but..." I was silent for a moment, thinking.  "Then I got
involved in a relationship."

   He lifted his head up.

   "Is he here?"

   "No, no.  We broke up a few months ago."

   "Oh, I'm sorry."

   I shrugged.  "Thanks, but it was no big deal."

   He reached over to his bag and got a packet of coke out and began to
line us up on the night table.  He changed the subject.

   "Do you think anyone will miss us?" he asked.

   "I don't think so.  They probably think I went off with friends."

   He handed me a rolled up bill and I leaned over to snort.

   "Oh man, this is good," I said, sniffing.

   "Yeah, I had a great connection in New Orleans.  I'm gonna be sad to see
that go."

   He did two lines and laid back on the bed.  I did another and knelt next
to him.  He looked up at me.  At that moment we knew what was going to
happen and no words needed to be said.  I leaned over him and kissed him
hard on the mouth.  He groaned and brought his hands up to pull me down on
him.

   We groped and kissed like we never wanted it to end.  His hands found
the zipper of my dress and began to slide it down.  I rolled off him and
yanked the whole thing off.  I also removed the rest of my clothes and
stood before him naked.

   "This time, I want us to be naked," I said.  "I want to do it right."

   He grinned and stood up to remove his clothes.  I put on the radio and
sounds of Billy Idol streamed into the room.  I did one more line and
joined him on the bed.

   I immediately began to kiss him all over his tanned muscular chest.  He
rubbed my breasts and pinched my nipples and I groaned against his skin.

   "Suck my cock, Beth.  I need to feel those lips on me."

   I moved my mouth down his body and grabbed his cock with my hand.  I
gave it a few tugs before moving it into my mouth.

   "Oh yeah...fuck, yeah."

   My mouth eagerly took him in and began to suck.

   "Turn around, let me eat your pussy at the same time."

   I shifted my body around into the 69 position and spread my legs for
him. I shuddered as his tongue found my wet snatch and his mouth began to
suck my lips into his mouth.  His hands gripped my ass tightly and pulled
my cheeks apart.  His whole face pushed into me and his tongue drove me
wild.

   I turned my attention, somewhat, back to his cock which was now fully
hard.  I scraped my teeth along the hard skin of his shaft and he groaned
into my pussy.  Smiling, I kept it up until he was bucking his hips driving
his cock deep into my mouth.  I slowed down a little and began to move in
long, smooth strokes.  He responded by pushing two fingers into my gaping
pussy.  I lifted my head to gasp.  When my mouth left his cock, he slapped
my ass.

   "Did I say stop sucking, bitch?" he demanded.

   His words inflamed me even more and I renewed my sucking with intensity.
I was longing to taste his cum in my mouth.

   He increased the rhythm of his finger-fucking and I sucked his cock as
hard as my mouth would allow.  My tongue glided over him again and again,
bringing him closer to orgasm.  I could feel his body tense and his pelvis
rise.  I grasped his balls and gave a hard squeeze.  His mouth left me and
he cried out.

   "Oh fuck!  I'm gonna cum!"

   That was just what I needed to hear as felt the first stream of cum
leave his cock and enter my mouth.  He groaned and twisted underneath me as
he shot load after load into my waiting mouth.  I squeezed his sac hard and
got every last drop.  Amazingly, he was able to go back to fucking me with
his fingers and his tongue and very soon I was beginning to shake.

   With cum drooling all over my chin I cried out over and over that I was
cumming.  He increased the intensity and didn't let up until I was a
quivering mess.  He pulled his face and fingers away and licked his fingers
clean.

   "You taste so sweet, my sweet," he said and I giggled.

   I rolled off him got a drink out of the mini-bar.  He laid there with my
cum all over his face and a semi-hard cock and watched me.

   "You are the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen," he said quietly.

   I blushed furiously.

   "No, really."

   "Thank you," I said and gave him a sip of my beer.

   He wiped the cum from his face and licked his fingers again.

   "Let's do another line."

   I handed him the bill and he quickly snorted it up.  I did one as well
and we laid together on the bed.  My head was spinning from the drugs and
the sex.

   His hand stroked my thigh lightly and he sighed.

   "What's wrong?" I asked.

   "I was just thinking that it's going to be tough having you in New York
and me in California."

   "Oh - well, don't think about it.  What are your plans for this summer?"

   "I'm going to Europe with some friends.  I leave next week."

   "Oh."

   We were quiet for a while.  I had hoped he was going to be in Virginia
this summer like me.  Then we would have more chances to slip away.  Maybe
even get a hotel for a weekend.

   "Beth, I will never be able to get you out of my system."

   "I won't be able to get you out of my system either."

   "Why are we so attracted to each other?"

   "I don't know...maybe because we're alike?"

   "Maybe." He took another long sip of beer.  "I've had a thing about you
forever."

   "Really?"

   "Yeah, since I was about 13 or so.  I used to fantasize about you."

   I blushed again.

   "And I used to jack off thinking about you naked."

   "Ok, now you're embarrassing me!"

   He laughed.  "That's a compliment!  I don't jack off to just anyone!"

   We both laughed and I rolled over to kiss him.  I tasted my own cum on
his lips.  Then I snuggled next to him and we both laid there.  Normally I
would want to snuggle and doze off, but the coke had me wired.  Instead we
just lay there and talked about whatever came to mind.

   After a while, his hand guided my hand to his cock.  It was hard.

   "Wow, already?" I asked.

   "Yup."

   I giggled and kissed him again.

   "I would love to have you ride my cock," he whispered huskily.

   "Mmmmm...that would be great."

   I moved so I could straddle him.  I opened my lips wide and guided him
in.  It felt so fucking good.

   "Oh yes - I've never forgotten how good your pussy feels around my
cock," he moaned.

   When he was all the way inside me I sat there and looked down at him.

   "Touch my breasts," I whispered.  "I love the way you abuse them."

   "You like that, huh?"

   "Yes."

   He reached up and began to squeeze them roughly.

   "Oh yes, squeeze them.  Pinch them."

   I began to move on his cock now.  He pinched my nipples and I let out a
long moan.

   "Lean over and I'll bite them, slut."

   I was about to do that when I heard the door behind us open.  Instantly
my head turned around and Brett was standing there.

   "Beth?  Oh my god, did I walk in the wrong--"

   He stopped when he saw Robert's face.

   "Robert???"

   He looked at me then at Robert.  I was too shocked to even try to cover
myself up.  He was a younger version of Robert.  Not as muscular, but he
had the blond hair and blue eyes of his brother.  Right now his mouth was
open and his face red.

   "What are you two doing?" he asked, incredulously.

   "What do you think we're doing," barked Robert.  "Do me a favor and just
leave.  And don't tell a soul."

   I got to my senses and pulled a sheet around me.  I carefully moved off
of Robert and felt his cock leave me with a soft 'plop' sound.  Brett let
his eyes wander over my body, trying to take in more of me.  I blushed and
looked away.

   "I won't say anything if you let me in on the action," he said boldly.

   I gasped.

   "Sure, why not?" Robert said, sliding off the bed.  "Our cousin here is
quite the fuck."

   "Robert!"

   "Well, it's true."

   I couldn't believe how callous he was being after being so tender
earlier.

   "Well, I'm getting dressed and going to my room," I said looking for my
clothes.

   "Then I'll just have a word with your father," Brett said.

   "You wouldn't dare!"

   "Try me."

   I looked at him and saw Robert.  They were so alike.  Then I looked at
Robert and he smiled at me.

   "Come over here and have a line, sweetie," he said.  "Then we'll have
some fun."

   I realized that if I didn't, Brett would go public and I'd be the shame
of my family.  Everything would be in jeopardy.  I took a deep breath and
told myself I was doing this for Robert and I.

   "Ok, you guys win," I said, dropping the sheet.

   "What a good sport you are, Beth," chuckled Robert.

   I looked at Brett and saw him ogle me.

   "What's wrong, never seen a naked woman before?" I asked before
accepting a line.

   Robert laughed loudly and Brett looked embarrassed.

   "Of course I have," he said.  "Just not any of my cousins."

   Robert laughed again and handed the mirror to Brett.  He did two lines
and shook his head.

   "Oh man, this is good!"

   "You think that's good - you should feel Beth's mouth around your cock."

   I wanted to say something to him, but kept my mouth shut.  I needed to
just go along with this.  I had never done it with two guys before - maybe
this will be fun.

   Brett stripped his clothes off, feeling out of place since we were
naked, and grabbed a beer from the fridge.  My eyes moved appraisingly over
his body.  He was built very much like Robert - even down to his semi-hard
cock.  He guzzled his beer quickly like only a 19 year old would do and
came over to me.

   "So, let's see how good you suck cock then," he said.  "On your knees."

   I shot Robert a look and got on my knees.  He shoved his cock in my face
and began to lick the cockhead.  I shut my eyes and tried to get into it. I
have to do this, I thought, so just go with it.  Maybe if I make him cum
right away, he'll leave us.

   But that was not to be.

   I moved my mouth and tongue expertly over his shaft and he moaned and
urged me on.  His hands went to my hair and he tugged at it, bringing my
head closer and his cock deeper.

   "Fuck, she's good, Rob," he said.

   Next thing I knew, Robert was standing next to me and his cock was
brushing my face.  I grabbed it in my hand and began to stroke it.  Then I
moved my mouth to his cock.  Again, I could taste my own cum.  While I
sucked Robert, I stroked Brett.  I began to alternate between their cocks
with my mouth and hands.  Soon both were moaning and bucking into my mouth
or hand.  I increased the intensity.  I wanted to have them both cum on me
at the same time.  I was really getting into it and my pussy throbbed.

   Robert and Brett's moans filled the room and competed with INXS on the
radio.  My only mission was to make these two brothers cum and I knew I was
getting closer.

   Brett was first.  His cock was in my mouth and my hand was jerking off
Robert.  Brett grabbed my head in his hands and jammed me down over his
cock.  But I pulled free right when I heard him say he was cumming and his
jism squirted out all over my face.  He pumped his cock and I shut my eyes
as his cum coated my face.  He was groaning loudly.

   When Robert saw this he told me to turn to face him and I jerked his
cock hard.  Soon he was cumming too and his cum spurted out and landed on
my breasts.

   "Oh fuck, that's hot," breathed Brett, who was still recovering.

   Robert could do nothing but groan as I pumped the last of his seed out
of his cock and on to my waiting tongue.  I lapped it all off and gave his
cockhead one final suck for good measure.  He sighed and slumped on the
bed. Brett sat on the other bed and they opened new beers.  I excused
myself to clean up.

   When I came back, Robert rewarded me with a beer and a line.  I eagerly
accepted both and we sat around for a while.  None of us seemed fazed by
what just happened and no one got dressed.  I was hoping Brett would have
left by then, but it was clear they weren't done yet.

   "Ok, slut, get on the bed," Robert said.

   Brett looked at Robert.

   "Don't worry little brother, she loves to be called that."

   I climbed on the bed and lay on my back looking at them.  They both got
on either side of me and began to fondle my breasts.

   "Tell Brett how you like it."

   "I-I like it rough," I said in a small voice.

   Brett raised his eyebrows.  "Oh yeah?  Tell me."

   "I like my nipples pinched and bitten.  And...I liked to be fucked
hard."

   "Nasty little bitch, aren't you?" laughed Brett.

   I said nothing and shut my eyes.  Four hands roamed all over my body
pinching and squeezing.  I lay there immobile and let them pleasure me.  I
closed my eyes as my legs were parted and fingers played with my pussy. 
Then two mouths joined the four hands.  Each one of them sucked on my
nipples and began to bite them.  Their hands rubbed all over my belly,
thighs and cunt.

   "Oh my god, yes!" I cried.

   That urged them on and they sucked and bit harder.  I cried out again
loving their mouths on me.

   "Let's fuck this cunt," Robert said and both their fingers were inside
me.

   It was unbelievable.  I almost came right then.  Their fingers moved
almost independently of each other.  It was amazing and I humped against
them shamelessly.  Brett lowered his head and began to suck on my clit,
drawing it into his mouth.  Robert continued assaulting my breasts.

   I cried out over and over, urging them on to fuck me and bite me.  They
never let up and worked like a well-oiled team.  These blond Adonis's.

   As I held Robert's head to my tits, I felt the orgasm rushing full
force. I was going to cum hard - I could feel it.

   "I'm gonna cum!" I screamed.

   "Yeah, that's it - cum for me, baby," Robert whispered to me.  "I want
you to cum hard for me so I can lick it all up."

   That was it.  I rose my hips off the bed and shrieked over and over as
the orgasm ripped through me.  The guys never let up and they brought me
right over the fucking edge.  It was incredible.

   When I began to finally come down off of that high, they let up and
looked at me.

   "Look at her - she's all flushed from that," Robert said.

   "Yeah, and I can't wait to fuck her now."

   My eyes widened when he said that and I looked at Robert.  His face told
me to just go with it.  I shut my eyes and lay there weakly.  My head was
spinning.

   "I think she needs another beer," Brett observed.

   He retrieved it for me and I accepted it graciously.  I drank it down
greedily and lay back down on the bed.  I was worn out and didn't think I
could go on, but Brett had other ideas.  He knelt on the bed between my
legs and began to lick the cum from my pussy.  It was still tingly from the
earlier orgasm.

   "Wow, she tastes so good," Brett said in between licks.

   "After a cum like that, she should," laughed Robert.

   Brett's cock was hard again and he placed it at the opening of my pussy.
He pushed it in and I groaned.

   "Ok, bitch you like it rough, you're gonna get rough," he growled.

   He lifted my legs up and placed them on his shoulders.  This gave him
better leverage and he began to thrust deep and hard into my pussy.  I
gripped the bed sheets and gasped at the force in which he began to fuck
me. My tits wobbled all over my chest with each long thrust.  Every muscle
on his delicious body was tense and rippled as he fucked me.  Sweat formed
on his brow and his eyes had a distant look in them.

   Robert sat in a chair and watched while he stroked his cock lightly.

   "Oh god, this is one tight cunt," groaned Brett.

   And he continued to fuck me even harder.  My pussy was on fire from the
abuse.  I was being used like a total whore and instead of being ashamed, I
was loving it.  I wanted to be fucked and used over and over.  And as Brett
unloaded his seed deep within my cunt, I passed the point of no return.



   It was late when I tiptoed back to my room.  Luckily no one was up and I
slipped inside without a sound and immediately ran a bath.  My body was
covered with cum.  It was all over my breasts, belly and on my thighs.  My
pussy was sore and my breasts had red marks from biting.  But as I slipped
down into the hot water, I realized how much I loved it.  I had no idea
why, but I loved it.

   Both of them had their way with me for a while after Brett first came
inside me.  We snorted coke, drank beer and fucked for hours until we were
exhausted.  I was their source of pleasure and they used me well.

   When both of them were asleep, I had gathered my clothes, got dressed
and crept out.  I wondered if I would see Robert again before he left.



   Sometime the next morning, I heard a knock on the door and figured it
was housekeeping.  I was pissed because I had put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign
on the door.

   "Just a minute," I yelled as I grabbed my robe and wrapped it tightly
around me.

   My body screamed out in pain from the activities of the night before and
my head was about to explode.  I was going to be hurting all day.

   I opened the door and was surprised to see Robert.  He looked bad too. I
pulled him inside and shut the door.

   "Are you nuts?  What if someone saw you?" I said in a harsh voice.

   "Good morning to you too, sunshine," and he kissed me tenderly.

   "I'm sorry - just after last night-"

   "Don't worry.  Brett won't say anything.  I told him I would beat the
shit out of him if he did.  Plus he's just as guilty."

   I got back in bed and lay there weakly.  Robert lay next to me and
stroked my hair.

   "You were wonderful last night, my sweet," he murmured.

   "Oh god, I can't believe what we did," I moaned unhappily.  "My body is
killing me."

   "Mine too, believe me."

   "But it was amazing..."

   "Yes, it was," he said kissing my hair again.  "But I'm not gonna share
you with him again.  Next time I want you all to myself."

   I sighed.

   "Will there be a next time?"

   "Of course.  I promise.  Come and visit me in Pasadena.  You're new job
allows vacations, doesn't it?"

   "Yes - but what if...never mind..." I trailed off.

   "What?"

   I sighed.

   "One or both us might be, you know, 'involved'."

   "Yes, it could happen, but we'll just see how it goes."

   He kissed me softly again and stroked my hair.

   "Right now I can't think of anyone else - only you..."

   How sweet he was right now.  So unlike last night.  But I liked both
sides of him.  I realized we each had a nasty down and dirty style when it
came to sex and I liked that too.

   I hugged him and told him he better go.  My mother was sure to be around
soon to drag me to breakfast.

   "I love you," he said softly in my ear before getting up.  "I'll be in
touch after Europe."

   And with that, he slipped out the door.

   I lay there and felt tears sliding down my cheeks.  I loved him too.



   July 1987: Los Angeles, California

   I was a career girl now.  I had a job at an advertising agency in New
York.  I wore power skirts and had an apartment in SoHo.  It was great.

   I worked really hard and the months melted by more quickly than I cared
to admit.  But in this business you had to work hard and win accounts or
you would be left behind.  I rose to the challenge and worked my tail off.

   When we won a major account in LA, I was chosen to go out there and get
the ball rolling.  I would have be on the west coast a lot in the next year
or so.  The first thing I thought of was Robert.  I never really stopped
thinking about him.  The night of my graduation burned in my mind.  That
was the absolute hottest sex I had ever had and I certainly haven't had any
since.  Working all the time did that.  No time for anything else.

   Robert did call me after he settled into Caltech.  He loved it there and
I was happy for him.  We didn't talk about too much, no doubt not ready to
get into our hopeless situation.  He gave me his number and address and I
promised to keep in touch.

   I realized a year had gone by when I finally called him.  He had just
finished the semester and was going to stay in California and teach over
the summer.  When I told him I would be in LA within the month, he said he
couldn't wait to see me.  In fact, he told me a few other things that made
me blush while I sat in my little cubicle at work.

   So there I was, in smoggy LA in my power suit and hair pulled up.  My
lips were a glossy red and my heels high.  I sat in the lounge of my hotel
and sipped a drink, waiting for Robert.

   When he walked in, my stomach flip-flopped.  He looked so tanned and
good, I couldn't take my eyes off him.  His hair was shorter than I ever
saw, but it looked great - still blond as ever.  His face broke into a huge
smile as he came over to me.  I stood up.

   "You look great," I said.

   "God, so do you!  Miss Advertising Exec!"

   We laughed and he pulled me close and hugged me.  I was about to resist,
but I we were far from any family here and no one would know.  We could
even be a couple.

   "I missed you so much," he whispered.

   "Me too," and I felt my eyes sting a little.

   He let me go and sat down next to me on the couch.  A waiter came over
and he ordered a beer.

   "So how's the Big Apple?"

   "Oh, it's great!  My job is fabulous!"

   He laughed.

   "I knew you'd always do good." He admired my legs.  "You must have every
guy in New York after you."

   I blushed.  "Actually, no."

   "Why not?"

   "No time."

   "Ahhh - yes, I know about that."

   His beer arrived and he took a long swig.  He grinned at me.

   "But I do have time for you, my sexy little cousin."

   "Shhhh!  Don't say that in public!"

   He laughed again and I smiled back.

   "Let's go to your room so I can help you change before dinner."

   I smiled evilly at him and we went up to my room.  Once inside our
clothes were quickly shed.  We were both greedy for each other.  His mouth
was all over me, licking and sucking.  His hands squeezed my ass and then
he pushed me down on the bed.  He straddled my face and shoved his cock in
my mouth.

   "Suck me, bitch."

   I grabbed his cock and that sense of dirtiness flooded me and I got all
excited.  It had been too long since I had sex and I needed it so bad.

   "Yeah, take me all in...let me feel the back of your throat."

   I sucked him in deep and gagged slightly as his cock pushed into my
throat.  I tried to relax and take him in.  When I did, he groaned and
leaned back.  His flat, hard stomach clenched and I ran my hands over it,
marveling at the hardness.  I could never get tired of this body.

   He began to thrust his cock in and out of my mouth like he was fucking
it.  I dropped my hands to the side and let him use me.  I kept my mouth as
tight as I could on him, occasionally using my teeth to excite him.  He
thrust in and out until at last he came long and hard.  He kept his cock in
my mouth and I had to swallow all his cum.

   He pulled out and sat there gasping.

   "Fuck - I think you get better and better each time!"

   I laughed and he moved down to my pussy.  How easily we slipped back
into it.



   A little later, we emerged from the hotel looking like we belonged with
each other.  I had on a black leather mini-skirt and a red top that was a
little clingy, but Robert loved it because he thought it made me look
slutty.  I had heels on and stockings with garters.  Robert really liked
that touch.  My hair was fluffed way out.

   We were going clubbing in LA.  I couldn't wait having heard about their
scene.  New York had a scene too, but it was a little more restrained.  I
wanted wild and trashy.  I wiped the stray bit of coke from nose and
followed him out into the heavy air.

   We had dinner in Beverly Hills somewhere.  It was trendy restaurant, but
I was beginning to think all restaurants where in Beverly Hills.  I swore I
saw Kevin Costner, though.  I was still swooning over him from his
appearance in 'Bull Durham'.

   After that, we made our way to a dance club.  Robert was in the mood to
cut loose.  I guess school had got to him in the first year.  I was eager
to help him with that mission.  We walked into the club and I was
surrounded by big hair and loud metal music.  I looked at Robert and he
smiled and led me onto the floor.

   We danced and strutted half the night.  The alcohol went down easily and
so did the coke.  Motley Crue, Ratt, and The Scorpions and others played
all night as we got down to it.  I was having the time of my life and I
felt so alive in this city of angels.  I could really let my hair down
because no one knew me and no one really cared.

   When we finally took a break, we slid into a booth in a dark corner.  At
once, his tongue was in my ear and his hands were sliding up my thigh
underneath my skirt.  I was about to protest, but I think that the booths
were intended for the purpose of making out and god knows what else.  I
placed my hand on his and pushed it higher.  When he felt the bare skin
over the stockings, he groaned.

   "I want you right here," he breathed into my ear.  "I want you to ride
my cock until you scream."

   My body shivered at those words.  He never failed to excite me with the
way he talked.  I kissed him hard and began to rub his cock with my hand.
His own hand was just discovering that I had no panties on.

   "Oh my god, you slut!" he laughed.

   "I thought you'd like that," I said kissing him.

   "Fuck yeah..."

   He pushed his hand up to my pussy and slipped a finger inside.

   "Wet already, aren't you slut?"

   "Yes - I want you so bad..."

   "Unzip me."

   I undid his belt and unzipped his jeans.  I pulled his cock out and it
was pretty stiff.

   "Now climb on me and let me fill that sweet cunt of yours."

   I pushed my skirt up exposing my ass to anyone who really wanted to see
and straddled him.  I opened my pussy lips with my fingers and guided him
in.  He slid in with a groan and I shut my eyes - it felt so good.

   "Lean over me so I can get at those luscious breasts of yours."

   I stuck my chest out and pushed up my top.  I had a very sheer bra on
and my nipples were flat.

   "Oh please...suck them through the material first," I begged.

   He brought his mouth to one nipple and sucked it hard into his mouth.  I
moaned loudly and ran my fingers through his hair.  His hand found the
other one and he slid his fingernails back and forth over them.

   "Oh Robert....ohhhhhhh..."

   He moved to lick my cleavage up and down before sucking my other nipple.
My pussy spasmed and gripped his cock and I began to ride him.  Up and down
I went as his mouth licked and sucked my nipples through my bra.  His hands
slid up my belly and cupped my full breasts from below and squeezed over
and over again.  It was driving me wild.  I reached down and began to rub
my clit.

   "Oh yeah, rub it," he moaned.

   I grunted as we fucked.  I was so turned on, I didn't care that we were
in public.  In fact, I didn't know we were being watched.  I rode him
harder and harder as he molested my tits.  At last I was close and I
whispered in his ear that I was going to cum.

   "Good - because I'm going to explode into you," he said with a clenched
grin.

   "Oh yes, fill me with that cum," I urged.

   And with that we both came.  As his cock pumped his seed into me, I
spasmed around him and threw my head back.  My hair whipped from side to
side as I came long and loud.  It was incredible.

   When I was done I slumped over him and held him tightly.

   "That was quite a show," said a masculine voice to the right of me.

   My head popped up and I saw a big guy with long hair and huge arms
standing there.  He was dressed like a biker and was typical of what went
into this place.

   "Do you do encores?" he asked.

   I looked at Robert and his eyes burned into me.  He wanted to me to do
this guy.

   "Um, yeah, I can..." I said, not believing my what I just said.

   He was rubbing his cock through his leather pants.  I slid off of Robert
and went over to this guy.  I didn't bother straightening my clothes out. I
immediately got on my knees and he pulled his cock out.

   His dick was very fat and I had trouble getting it all in my mouth, but
I gave it my best.  I ran my long nails over his ball sac as I moved my
head up and down on his cock.  He was moaning and clutching my hair in no
time.  I got strangely turned on by giving a blow job to a total stranger.

   The biker thrust his big cock in and out of my mouth.  Robert sat nearby
watching - his cock hard again and bobbing against his stomach.  I kept up
the pace and soon his cock twitched in my mouth.

   "Oh fuck - I'm gonna cum.  Swallow me, honey..."

   I did.  His cum shot out of him and I greedily sucked it down.  He
moaned and pulled my hair as he came.  I felt my pussy throbbing again and
knew it was going to be a long night.

   I pulled away and cum ran down my chin.  I quickly wiped it off and
sucked it from my fingers.  The biker stuffed his cock into his pants and
thanked us profusely.  I finally fixed my clothes and looked at Robert.

   "Let's go somewhere else," he said, zipping up.  "I need some air."

   "Good idea," I said and I followed him outside.

   He held me tightly as we moved down the sidewalk.

   "Fuck, that was so hot, Beth!"

   "I can't believe I did that."

   "But you enjoyed it, though, right?"

   "Oh yeah.  It was great knowing you were watching me the whole time.  I
was really turned on by it."

   "As was I."

   We were silent for a bit.  Music could be heard up and down the Strip.
Motorcycles roared down the street.  It was a typical LA night.  He steered
me into a park and we collapsed on a bench.

   "Watching that made me so hot," he said as he caressed my breasts.

   "Mmmmmmm," I answered and shut my eyes.  His hands were stimulating me
again.

   He began to kiss my neck as he felt me up.  I willingly spread my legs
for him and his hand slid up my skirt again.  His fingers wiggled into my
pussy for a bit before he pulled them out and shoved them into my mouth.

   "Taste yourself, bitch," he whispered.

   I licked my sweet cum from his fingers while he watched.

   "Stand up," he said.

   I got to my feet and stood there looking at him.

   "Turn around and grip the back of this bench."

   I did as he asked.  I was now bent over and I knew what he was going to
do.  A rush went to my head and my pussy throbbed again.  His hands pushed
my skirt up exposing my ass and I spread my legs wide for him.

   I heard him unzip his pants and then his cockhead was rubbing against my
wet slit.  I couldn't believe how hard he was again.  He slid inside me for
a few strokes before pulling out.  I gasped and whined a little.

   "Don't worry, my little slut.  I'm not done with you yet."

   Then I felt his cock pressing against my asshole.  I jumped and tried to
turn around.

   "Don't fucking move.  You're getting it in the ass whether you like it
or not."

   My eyes went wide.

   "But...I never..."

   "First time for everything," he said and pushed his head into me.

   I cried out in pain.

   "Make more noise and we'll have company, I guarantee it," he warned.

   "But it hurrrrts," I whined.

   "Relax and take it in.  You'll enjoy it after a while."

   I took a deep breath, held it and let it out.  He pushed a little deep
and then suddenly he was past the tight ring of my muscle.  His shaft
completely filled my ass and I let out a groan.

   "That's better," he grunted.

   He pulled out a bit and slid back in.  I shut my eyes and let him take
me.  Even though it hurt, it still turned me on to be used like this.  I
still couldn't believe how I was acting.  It was if I was a different
person.

   He started to fuck my ass in earnest.  Both hands were squeezing my ass
cheeks hard.  It would leave marks for days.  I gripped the bench and
moaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure as he fucked me.  Because we were
in the shadows of the park, no one noticed.  Not that I cared...

   In and out went his cock.  Filling my ass with each deep stroke.  His
moans got louder and his strokes got quicker.  I held on for dear life and
with a roar he came and filled my ass with his cum.



   And so it started yet again.  I made trips back and forth from NY to LA
at least every other month.  When I did, I always met Robert.  It seemed
like he could never get away more than one night, but we made the most of
it.  We fucked like crazy and went to clubs and did coke.  In fact, a fair
amount of powder was going up my nose, but I ignored that.  I was in heaven
every minute I spent with him.

   Sometimes he was the romantic and we'd have intimate dinners at trendy
restaurants followed by long, leisurely sex.  But more often than not, I
played the slut for him.  We had sex everywhere - in bathrooms, limos, and
even an elevator.  Sometimes we picked up strangers and I got two cocks at
once.  I really liked that and Robert knew it.  Usually by night's end I
would be covered with cum and exhausted.

   We never tired of each other.  Looking back, it was probably one of the
happiest times of my life.

   But then the project was done.  The customer was satisfied and I was
back in New York full time.  It was almost two years since we started this
wild ride and the crazy Eighties were beginning to wind down.  The economy
slumped and things got a little tight.

   I thought about Robert all the time and knew he was getting out of grad
school soon.  I wondered what was going to be next and if we'd be close
enough to continue our trysts.  I kept telling myself it wasn't healthy - I
needed to find someone I could be in a relationship with, but I knew the
sex would never be the same without Robert.  I was hooked.

   But finally after the first six months without him, I started to get
over it and actually began to date.  Robert's calls tapered off and I
figured that maybe it was time to let it go and get on with our lives.  I
met a wonderful guy named Dennis and I told myself to be happy and forget
Robert.



   November 1989, Yellow Pines, Virginia

   This year Thanksgiving was at my parents' house.  I flew down from New
York a few days before for a much needed vacation.  Dennis was with me and
my parents instantly liked him.  Of course they did - he was successful and
Harvard educated.  My mother kept hinting around if 'he was the one.'

   I wasn't sure if he was the one.  I liked him - but the wanton side of
me was still there.  Our sex was just ok, and more than once I had to
fantasize about Robert in order to get off.  Dennis had no idea about it
and I figured it was a good thing.

   I was sitting leisurely on the couch, drink in hand when Robert arrived
with a woman at his side.  She looked very cultured and I immediately got
jealous.  I wondered how long they were together.  I hadn't spoken to
Robert in at least 3 months and he never said anything about it before.

   He introduced her as Pamela and she nodded politely to my parents.  I
began to hate her.

   Next in was Brett.  I quickly avoided his eyes as he ushered in a trashy
looking blond.  It was the first time I had seen him since that night. 
Robert told me that he always asked for me, but our secret would be safe
with him.  I hoped it would be.

   "Who are those guys?" Dennis asked.

   "They're my cousins," I said, clenching my jaw.  "I'll be right back, I
have to use the bathroom."

   I went down the hall to bathroom hoping that Robert had seen me.  I
waited for ten minutes, but he never came.  I sighed and went back to join
Dennis.  He was talking with my father about some financial something or
other.  I pretended to listen while I spied on Robert and Pamela.  At least
he noticed me and his face lit up.  He brought her over.

   I stood up and gave him a brief hug.  When I pulled back, he smiled that
old smile at me.  I half smiled back.

   "Beth - I want you to meet Pamela, my fiancée."



   That was the hardest dinner in my life to choke down.  I sat next to
dinner and willed a few pieces of turkey into me.  I didn't have any
problem with the wine, though.  After my fourth class Dennis whispered
something about me getting drunk.  I ignored it and tried to hide my
sullenness.  I didn't want Robert to see how upset I was.

   I'm not sure if anyone knew just how upset I really was, but people
avoided me a little after dinner.  My mother asked me if I felt ok, so I
told her I really wasn't and I needed to lay down.  Dennis, always the
faithful one, offered to come upstairs and sit with me.  I smiled wanly and
told me it ok - he could watch football with the guys.

   I was alone in my old room.  Tears were rapidly welling up in my eyes. I
couldn't believe they were getting married, but I had to accept the reality
of the whole thing.  He deserved to have a life with someone who could be
committed to him.  We couldn't do that - we would be the disgrace of the
family and I could never do that to our parents.  We had talked about it
enough times.

   I lay on my bed thinking about it for a long time and then at last I
fell asleep.

   A knock on the door woke me and I told whoever to come in.  I figured
Dennis was checking on me.

   But then I smelled him.  I knew his smell.  It musky and sexy and it
always drove me wild.  I turned over to look at him with bleary eyes. 
Suddenly I wasn't rational anymore.  I didn't want to lose him to that ice
queen.  With anger welling up inside of me, I beat his chest with my fists
and he had to grip my arms hard to stop me.  I shook my full head of hair
and tried to get away from him.

   "Beth!  Get yourself together!"

   "How could you do this to me?" I sobbed.

   "Please, don't - you know it would happen to us some day."

   "But how long..."

   He didn't say anything.  He let my arms go and looked at him.

   "You were seeing her when I was in LA, weren't you?"

   He looked away - guilt was on his face.

   "Oh fuck, how could you do that?  You betrayed us both!"

   He buried his face in his hands.  "I know...I know...I'm so sorry, Beth.
I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to stop seeing me when you were
town.  I was so addicted to you."

   I sobbed again and threw myself back on the bed.  He was quiet for a
while.

   "Beth, what we did was wrong.  I have to make a life.  You need to as
well.  What about Dennis?  He seems like a nice guy."

   I grunted.

   "Beth - I'm going to do this.  And I want you to back me on this.  You
know we need go our own ways."

   "When's the wedding?" I said in a muffled voice.  I couldn't look at
him.

   "Next June.  It will be down here in Virginia.  Will you come?"

   "If you want me to."

   "Of course I do."

   "And where you going to live?"

   There was a slight hesitation before he said: "Westchester County.  Her
family got us a house in White Plains."

   My head shot up.

   "Are you fucking serious!  That's in my back yard!"

   "I know, I know.  But I got a job teaching at Columbia and she's a
lawyer in the city."

   "What are you gonna do now, flaunt her in my face whenever you come into
the city for a posh evening on the town?"

   I saw him stiffen slightly and I put my head down and sobbed some more.
He stroked my hair lightly.

   "I'm so sorry...I hesitated about Columbia, I really did.  I had another
offer at UCLA, but I wanted to come back East.  Pamela is from New York and
wanted to come back here too."

   I said nothing.  What else could I say?

   He pushed back my hair and leaned over me.  "Please sit up, let me see
you."

   I reluctantly sat up.  Tears streamed down my face.  He handed me a
tissue and I wiped them away.  He held my hands in his.

   "Remember that night seven years ago in this room?" he asked softly.

   How could I forget, I thought.

   "Yes, we were sitting right there." I pointed to the floor.

   "Yes and you turned me on to coke and blow jobs all in the same night,"
he laughed.

   I laughed a little too and tried to hold back another sob.

   "Beth, we had some good times, but I love Pamela, and I want to marry
her."

   "But you love me!" I wailed.

   He held me close.  "I love you too, my sweet.  I always will.  But we
have to go on."

   He was getting too sappy for me all of a sudden.  I turned away thinking
this bitch softened him up.

   "Fine, get married.  Have kids.  Have a fun life." I said angrily. 
"Just get the fuck out of here."

   He sighed deeply and left, shutting the door behind him.  I went back to
bed and sobbed miserably in my pillow.  I wanted to just die.





   May 1991: New York City

   I was sitting in my favorite café in the city sipping coffee enjoying
the Times.  Work had been a little grueling so it was great to get out of
the office and enjoy the spring warmth.  It was a beautiful day and I took
it all in.  My long flowered skirt fluttered in the slight breeze and I
pushed my sunglasses up and began to read the paper.

   I was immersed in something when I heard a familiar voice.

   "Beth, is that you?"

   My heart froze as I looked up and saw Robert standing there.  He was in
a suit and looked absolutely amazing.  I was absolutely shocked to see him
and it took me a minute to recover.

   "Robert!  Hi!" I said and moved my paper so he could sit down with his
coffee.

   "How are you cousin?" he asked.

   "Oh, you know - working hard.  What about you?  Oh, congratulations on
the birth of your son."

   "Oh yeah, thanks.  It was just an amazing experience."

   "I'm sure it was."

   He blinked at me a few times and looked me over.  There was an awkward
pause.  Finally he spoke:

   "You look really good, Beth, how's life treating you?"

   "Pretty good I guess."

   He nodded.

   "Are you with still with Dennis?" he asked after a pause.

   "No."

   "Oh, well I'm sorry.  I know your parents liked him a lot."

   "Yeah, well he was a bore."

   "Oh..." his voice trailed off and he wasn't sure what to say next.

   "So what are doing in a suit?  I thought you college professors dressed
casually."

   He laughed.  "I'm going on a job interview."

   "Oh yeah?"

   "Yeah, I'm sick of teaching.  I'm looking at a job at a big civil
engineering firm uptown."

   He told me which one and I said I had heard of it.  We did their account
once.

   We chatted for a little while longer and he said he had to go or he'd be
late.  I smiled good bye and he said he'd give me a call and maybe I could
drive up to see the baby.  I waved good-bye and watched him hail a cab. 
When he was gone, a few tears burned my eyes and I silently cursed myself.

   Things were miserable for me after he told me of his engagement.  I flew
back to New York and was glad I had to go to Dennis' parents for Christmas.
I didn't want to face him and that bitch.  And when the wedding came up, I
arranged for me to be out of town on business with no time to fly to
Virginia.  I sent a brief note and that was it.

   I managed to avoid him except for the day of his father's funeral.  It
such a sad and tragic day for everyone.  My uncle was still so young to
die, but a heart attack took him and he was gone.  My heart went out to
Robert at the service and I wanted to go to him, but he had his wife.  She
was doing what I desperately wanted to do.  I was so bitter that day -
angry that my uncle had to die so soon and angry that I had stand by and
let Robert be comforted by someone else.

   I did manage to get over to him at one point and hug him.  He didn't
seem to know who I was - he was so grief-struck.  I knew how close he had
been to his father.

   Then just two months ago, my mother told me that Robert was a father. 
At first I didn't take the news well.  I was depressed and jealous, but I
knew deep down that I could never, ever be the mother of his children.  No,
having the baby confirmed to me that the marriage was probably working and
he was happy.

   I went home that night feeling a little blue and decided to take a warm
bath and enjoy a glass of wine.  I turned on some Clannad and lay in the
tub as the sweet Irish voices filled my apartment.

   Seeing Robert brought a lot of memories to the surface.  Starting with
the night of our high school graduation (9 years ago!) through New Orleans,
Penn State and those wild days in LA.  We had the most incredible sex and
if that wasn't dangerous, many times we fucked in public places and even
had strange men participate.  Robert said he loved to see me get fucked by
another man.

   As I reveled in those memories, my hands were sliding across my breasts.
The warm soapy water made my skin very soft and very sensitive.  I thought
about one time in LA when we picked up a guy and spent the next several
hours fucking in my hotel room.  As I rode the guy's cock, Robert made me
suck his.  Both of them played with my breasts and brought me to an
earth-shattering orgasm.  My hands pinched and pulled my nipples making
them hard and I gasped at my own ministrations.

   Another time in LA, Robert brought me into the men's bathroom at a biker
bar and made me give blow jobs to all four guys who were in there.  By the
time I was done, my face and hair were covered with cum.  And of course I
had to finish up with Robert.  He fucked me from behind while they all
watched.

   My hand moved down between my legs where I moved my fingers inside my
aching pussy.  It had been a while since I had sex.  The last time was with
Dennis and, as usual, it just wasn't enough.  I always wanted Robert.  His
tongue, his fingers and most of all, his cock.  My finger found my clit and
I began to rub it urgently.  In my mind I was in that bathroom in New
Orleans with my back to him and my legs open.  His cock slid in and out of
me and my breasts heaved with every thrust.  It was our first fuck, but I
never forgot the details of that night.

   My fingers plunged in my pussy and I arched my back, moaning.  My other
hand pulled my nipples hard and little shivers went through my body.  When
the release came it was sweet, but after I calmed down, I realized it just
wasn't enough.

   Sighing, I let the water out and dried off.  I wrapped my silk robe
around me and toweled my hair off.  I guess I'd have to do with another
glass of wine and a joint.  I fell on my couch and started flicking through
channels on TV.

   I must have dozed off because when the buzzer for my door went off, I
nearly jumped out of my skin.  I glanced at the clock - it said 10:30.  I
couldn't imagine who would be here at this hour.  I went over to the unit
and pressed 'Talk'.

   "Who is it?" I asked.

   "Robert," came the static voice on the other end.

   My heart skipped a beat and then I buzzed him in.  What did he want? 
Then more importantly - how did I look?  I decided that there was no point
in trying to change.  He had seen me in many stages of dress and undress as
well as many mornings where I was hung over, coked out and looking pretty
used up.

   There was a knock on the door and I opened it.  He was still in his suit
and the look on his face told me what he was there for.  He shut the door
behind me pushed me against the wall in the entryway.  There were no words
spoken - there didn't need to be.  We clutched each other tightly and
kissed hungrily.  It had been years since I last touched him and my body
was starving.

   His mouth was all over my face - kissing and licking.  His hands were
pulling apart my robe.  He grunted when he realized I had nothing on
underneath.  I stood pressed against the wall and let him have his way with
me.  It felt so fucking good.  He took each of my wrists and pinned them
over my head while his mouth moved down to take first one nipple and then
the other into his mouth.  I cried out in pure ecstasy as he sucked them
hard.  He never forgot what I wanted.

   I stood against the wall in complete surrender to him.  My pussy was
practically leaking as I was so wet.  I had to have him so bad and I told
him so.

   "How do you want it?" he growled and he bit my nipple lightly.

   "Right here.  Up against this wall," I panted.

   He released my arms and unzipped his fly.  His cock was already stiff
and ready.  I guided him to me, but I wasn't really tall enough to get it
in.  He accommodated me by lifting me up by my ass and impaling me with his
cock.  My arms went around his neck and began to ride him.

   His thrusts were hard and brutal.  He bit and licked my breasts whenever
he could.  His hands gripped my ass and his finger rubbed my asshole.  I
trembled all over and pulled his cock deeper and deeper into me.  I wanted
it to go forever, but I couldn't hold back any longer.

   "Oh fuck...I'm gonna cum, baby," I moaned.

   "Yes, do it, Beth...CUM."

   I held onto him for dear life as the orgasm ripped through me.  It was a
hundred times better than the one in the tub and it left me weak and spent.
But he wasn't letting go of me until he came and he did right after me.  He
practically howled as he let his cum lose in my spasming cunt.  I clung to
him and felt his whole body tremble.

   At last he let me down and we both stood there breathing heavy.  I tied
my robe back together and we looked at each other.  His face split into a
wide grin and we started to laugh.

   "Nice to see you too, Robert," I joked.

   He laughed and I saw him as he was 9 years ago - young and carefree. 
But when he stopped, I saw that he had aged a little.  His hair was maybe a
little thinner on top and there were creases around his eyes.  But his body
was still in incredible shape.  I led him into the living room and we
nestled on the couch.

   "I'm so glad you came by," I said, leaning against him.  "I've missed
you so much."

   "When I saw you today, I decided that I couldn't go another day without
you seeing you and doing..."

   "I know."

   We were silent for awhile.  I was wondering if we could do this again
soon and I asked him.

   "Well...I think so.  I got that job I interviewed for, so I'm going to
be in the city every day."

   "That's great!"

   "Yeah, but Beth, I have to very careful.  You have to be careful too. 
You're known in this town..."

   "I know, I know.  We'll just meet here.  It's safe and very discreet."

   He stroked my hair.

   "God, Beth, you don't know how badly I've needed you..."

   "Not getting enough in your marriage?" I asked.  It wasn't meant to be a
dig, and he knew that.

   "Pamela is a wonderful wife and mother, but she isn't passionate - like
you."

   I smiled.  So I did have one up on her after all.  He kissed the top of
my head.

   "Can you stay tonight?" I asked.

   "Yes.  I told her I got detained so I was getting a room in the city. 
I'm all yours, cousin."

   I laughed and suggested we move into the bedroom.



   So just like that it started again.  We usually met once a week at my
place.  I always cooked a romantic dinner which included plenty of wine and
usually a joint.  Both of us had outgrown the coke and preferred something
a little mellower.  But the sex never got mellow.  We fucked each other
like crazy - always as if it was our last day on earth.  You never knew
what was going to happen in the future so we took advantage of it now.

   The only thing that disappointed me was the fact that we couldn't go out
in public.  We were too well known in our social circles and if anyone were
to see us - it would be disaster for our careers and families.  I suggested
a weekend away, but he couldn't do it.  Even though he was betraying his
wife, he felt he needed to be there to help with the baby.  I couldn't
argue with that and had to settle with our weekly trysts.

   Then one night it came to an end.  It was about 6 months after he
started working in the city.  He showed up later than usual one night and
he was a bit drunk.  Something was wrong.

   "My company laid me off along with 20 other engineers," he said as soon
as he entered my apartment.

   "Oh Robert, shit...I'm sorry!  What are you going to do?"

   "Take some time off and look for another job.  Pamela's salary at the
law firm is enough to pay the bills, so there is no hurry.  I'm just pissed
off because it means we can't be together."

   "But you'll get another job in the city and things will be back to
normal," I said hopefully.

   "Maybe, but things are a little tough right now."

   He slumped down on the couch gloomily and loosened his tie.  I went to
him and rubbed his shoulders.

   "We'll figure something out."





   February 1992: New York City

   I hadn't seen Robert since November and I ached for him.  He did call me
a few times when he was able to get away and tell me what was going on. 
Job hunting wasn't going well.  Pamela had tight reins on him now with the
baby and he just couldn't get away.  It made me depressed, but I had to
deal with it.

   Christmas came and went.  I went home to Virginia, but he didn't. 
Instead his mother came to New York and they celebrated Christmas there.

   The cold weather arrived and I went into a funk.  I went out on a few
dates, but I just wasn't into it.  I yearned for Robert like never before.

   Then something great happened - a few days before Valentine's Day, a
package was waiting for me at my apartment.  It was box wrapped in shiny
red paper and a huge red bow.  I quickly brought it in my apartment and
tore off the paper.

   When I opened the box, I smiled at the contents.  Only one person would
send me something like this.  Inside was some of the sexiest lingerie I had
ever seen and it was all red.  There was a pair of sheer red panties that
would barely cover my mound and didn't cover any of my ass; a red garter
belt with sheer black stockings and a red pushup bra.  My body turned to
jelly as I looked at it all.  That could only mean one thing - we was
coming to see me.  But when?

   Then I noticed the note.  It said that he had to go to Boston for a job
interview this weekend.  He was taking the train and he wanted me to go
along.  Along with the note was a ticket.  He wanted me to wear this under
my clothes, but the only catch was that we couldn't be seen together.  We
could ride in the same car, but not sit together as he was afraid of being
seen.  But once we were Boston, we were free.

   I smiled and was thrilled.  I would cancel all appointments on Friday
and spend the day at the spa.  We would take the evening train.

   So I found myself at Penn Station on Friday evening wrapped in a long
coat.  Underneath were a short leather skirt and a black cashmere sweater.
And under that was another story.  I looked around for him at the station
and spotted him near the newsstand.  He winked at me and went back to his
paper.  A shiver went through my body.

   It seemed like forever before the train came.  Relieved, I boarded and
took a seat by myself.  I saw Robert settle into a seat at the other end of
the car.  I took my coat off and arranged myself with a book and tried to
read.

   It didn't go so good and I wondered how I would be able to last the four
or so hours to Boston.  So far he hadn't made a move to come see me and I
wasn't sure if I should.  So I waited patiently.

   After about an hour he got up and walked past me.  He didn't look at me,
but a piece of paper fell into my lap.  I opened it and it said: bathroom.

   I knew exactly what he had in mind and my body trembled in excitement. I
was close to the end of the car, so I heard him go into the single bathroom
there.  I waited about 3 minutes and then went over to the door.  It was
unlocked and I slipped inside.  I doubt anyone noticed but by then I didn't
care.

   He was waiting for me and I flung myself into his arms and kissed him
passionately.  The bathrooms on trains are a little bigger than the ones on
planes and there was plenty of room for us.  We kissed long and hard and I
felt myself melting into his arms.  I didn't want anyone else - I wanted
him and only him.

   He broke the kiss and looked at me.

   "God, you're so incredibly sexy, cuz.  Don't ever change," he said
huskily.

   I laughed.

   "I trust you are wearing what I sent you?" he asked.

   "Oh yes," I giggled.

   "Good, let me see it."

   I smiled and pulled the sweater over my head and hung it on the door. 
He whistled as he saw my breasts come into view.  The bra pushed them up
obscenely and gave me huge cleavage.  I could tell he liked it as I noticed
a slight bulge in his pants.

   "Now the skirt."

   I reached back and unzipped my skirt.  We were only inches away from
each other, but he wouldn't touch me - yet.  I let it drop and he licked
his lips when he saw my pussy through the sheer panties.  I turned around
and showed him my practically bare ass.

   "Wow...I have good taste, huh?"

   I laughed and turned back around to him.  He looked at me and there was
a bit of mischief in his eye.  I wondered what was up (besides him).

   "I have a surprise for you," he said.  "But I need to step out for a
minute.  Don't move."

   "Oh, I won't," I said laughing.  "Just hurry back."

   "I will.  Lock the door and I'll knock quietly when I come back."

   He left and I stood there feeling very sexy and very, very horny.  I
admired myself in the mirror and primped my hair.  I added more lipstick.

   The minutes ticked by and I got a little impatient.  I almost wanted to
get dressed and find him, but I figured he'd be angry.  I just thought it
better be a good surprise.  Maybe he was going to get us some coke - for
old times sake.  My mind delighted at this idea.

   Finally there was knock and I opened the door.

   "It's about-"

   I stopped suddenly when I realized it wasn't Robert.  Another man
stepped into the bathroom and shut the door.  He was smiling at me.

   I tried to cover myself up.

   "I...uh...this-"

   "Oh no, this is the right bathroom," he said.  "Your man told me to come
in here.  He said there was a sexy young slut in here needing some
attention."

   My mouth opened in shock.  So that was the surprise, I thought.  I
looked at the guy.  He was around forty with long hair pulled back into a
pony tail.  He was dressed sharply like a businessman and he was fairly
handsome with dark features.  His eyes were roaming all over my body and he
reached out to touch my breast.

   At first I wanted to shy away, but I knew that this was part of Robert's
game.  I had to go along.

   "You have lovely breasts," he said as he squeezed one.  "Why don't you
take off that bra?"

   I reached back and unhooked it and placed it on the sink.  He grasped
each one in his hands and squeezed roughly.  It was just what I wanted and
I moaned softly.

   "Like that?"

   "Yesssss"

   He pinched my nipples and pulled them towards him.  I gasped and he
smiled.

   "You like it rough, don't you?"

   "Yes."

   He bent his head and took one nipple into my mouth and bit it hard.  He
anticipated my scream and placed his hand over my mouth.  I had forgotten
where we were.  He bit the other one and again his hand muffled my screams.
But they were screams of passion, believe me.  I was becoming so turned on
by this.

   "Take off those panties and the garter, but leave the stockings and the
heels on," he said when he was done with my breasts.

   I did as he asked and stood before him trembling.  My nipples were rock
hard and throbbed from the abuse.  My pussy was tingling and I could tell I
was very wet.

   "Get up on that sink and spread those long legs of yours," he said
roughly.

   I hopped up on the sink and spread my legs for him.  This was so
exciting, I could barely contain myself.  He was a tall guy and he had to
get on his knees to face my pussy.  He touched my glistening lips with his
finger.

   "Wet already, aren't you?"

   I nodded.

   "Well, I'm gonna lick this beautiful pussy of yours anyways.  But I
don't want you screaming out, ok?

   "Yes."

   "Good."

   He pushed his face into my mound and began to blow lightly across my
slit.  A deep groan came from my throat, but I didn't cry out.  Next, he
pulled apart my lips and ran his tongue along them.  I shivered.  He did
that for away and took long licks from my asshole to my clit and back
again. I trembled all over.  Then he finally found my clit when he sucked
it into his mouth I cried out - unable to help myself.

   He stopped and pulled away.  I stood there looking down at him, breasts
heaving.

   "That won't do," he said with a frown.  "But I can take care of that."

   I watched as he got my panties and balled them up.

   "Open wide," he said.

   My mouth gaped open and he stuffed it inside me.  I was shocked but
strangely excited.

   "Ok, that should do it," he said as he went back to work.

   For the next little while he ate my pussy.  He was incredible.  Several
times I came close to cumming, but he would stop for a little while before
doing it again and run his hands all over my smooth legs.  Over and over he
did this, driving me crazy.  His tongue and his fingers were fucking me in
ways I didn't think possible.  It was amazing.  But at last he wanted me to
cum.

   He drove his fingers into me hard and fucked me while his tongue nipped
my clit.  Each time he bit it my body would spasm.  I leaned against the
mirror and roughly grabbed my tits - pulling and twisting my nipples.  I
was going to cum this time, I could feel it.  And he felt it too.  He kept
up the pace and suddenly I exploded.  My whole body tensed and I wailed and
moaned behind my gag.  My orgasm lasted forever and when I was done, I was
completely spent.  I sat there, legs open and gasped.

   He stood up and wiped the cum from his face.

   "I love to eat pussy," he said.

   I regarded him with half open eyes.  He took the panties from my mouth
and grabbed my bra and put them into his coat.

   "Well I must be off.  That was very enjoyable."

   And with that he let himself out.

   I eventually came to my senses and took in what had just happened.  I
couldn't believe Robert did that, but I wasn't going to complain.  What had
just happened was incredible.

   I got off the sink, cleaned myself up and was suddenly aware of the fact
that I had no underwear.  I had to get dressed without it.  Wearing no
panties was ok, I had done it before.  But I always wore a bra.  My tits
were big and bouncy and would be extremely noticeable.  My nipples were
still hard and sensitive and would be poking out.  I silently cursed Robert
and let myself out.

   By now it was dark outside.  I wondered vaguely how long I was in there.
Most people had gone to dinner and my stomach growled thinking about that,
but I was afraid to go to the dining car dressed as I was.  So instead, I
found my seat and got ready to sit down.

   Robert was there waiting.  There were no lights on above us and it was
pretty dark, but there he was.  I sat down next to him and leaned over to
kiss him.

   "Did you enjoy yourself, my pretty little slut?" he whispered.

   "Oh yes, but-"

   "But what?"

   "He took my underwear!"

   He chuckled.  "Well, I had to give him something for his efforts."

   I didn't find that amusing, but I wasn't going to complain.  I was still
feeling dizzy from that orgasm.

   He turned to me and began to caress my breasts through the sweater.

   "Mmmmm...very nice.  You should go bra-less more often."

   "Ha, ha.  Very funny."

   He didn't stop, though.  Then he leaned over and began to nibble on my
neck.

   "Is your cunt still wet?" he asked.

   "Um, a little, I guess."

   "Spread your legs a little," he murmured into my hair.

   I opened them for him and his hand snaked up under my skirt until he
found my naked mound.  He pushed a finger between my lips and found that it
was still very wet indeed.  He slowly withdrew his finger and brought it to
his mouth where he sucked my juices from it.

   "Oh yes, very wet.  Turn and face me."

   I swiveled around in my seat and faced him.  I felt a shiver of
anticipation and I loved when he told me what to do.

   "Push your sweater up.  I want to see those tits."

   I looked around quickly.  The car was pretty empty.  I pushed my sweater
up and over my breasts and shuddered as they were suddenly exposed to him.

   "Play with them," he said in a hoarse voice.

   I shut my eyes and began to pull and pinch my sensitive nipples.  They
still hurt a bit from the rough treatment earlier and within seconds they
were rock hard.

   My eyes fluttered open as I heard him slide his zipper down.  I looked
at him in the darkness and although I couldn't really see his face, I knew
what he wanted me to do.  I leaned over him and he pushed my face into his
lap.  His cock was still soft and I eagerly stuffed it into my mouth and
began to suck it.  He was extremely quiet, not wanting to draw attention to
us, but his breathing got heavy.

   When at least he reached full hardness, I ran my lips up and down his
shaft.  He clutched my head tighter and forced me down on him.  I gagged as
his cock filled my mouth and pushed against my throat, but I never stopped.
I wanted his cum very badly.  I began to move my head up and down while
stroking his balls.  When I did this, he took a deep breath and let it out
slowly.  I could tell he was trying to hold back, but I wasn't going to let
him.  I needed some payback for the underwear.

   He reached across my back and pulled up my skirt.  I felt the cool air
touch my bare ass.  When I tried to pull it back down, he batted my hand
away.

   "You can fix yourself after you make me cum," he said.

   I increased my strokes and finally got him right to the edge.  I felt
his balls tighten in my hands and his hips lifted up and with that he came
in my mouth.  He let out a short gasp and my mouth flooded with his cum.  I
sucked every drop out of him and swallowed it all.  As soon as he finished
I pulled away, fixed my skirt and sweater and stood up.

   He sat there gasping.

   "Where are you going?" he asked.

   "I need a drink." Although he couldn't tell, I was smiling.

   I came back a few minutes later with two soft drinks for us.  My face
was deeply flushed from the looks I got from the men that noticed my
bouncing breasts under my sweater.  It was somewhat embarrassing, but I was
really thirsty.  I didn't see my friend from earlier and was glad.  I
couldn't take that.

   By the time we were in Rhode Island, I was asleep.  My head was resting
against Robert's shoulder and I felt safe and happy with him.  I hadn't
considered the fact that if he got the job in Boston, he would be leaving
New York.  I was still in bliss knowing he was mine for the weekend.

   I slept all the way into Boston and as we pulled into South Station, he
gently woke me up.  I yawned and stretched and he kissed me very tenderly.
My heart flooded with love for him and I told him how much I loved him.  He
smiled at me and whispered that he loved me too.  At that moment I could
have believed that we were together forever and there were no wives and
babies and family to know about us.  Once again I was safe in another city.



   February 1992: Boston

   The job interview was Saturday as the interviewer was going to be out of
town.  After a leisurely breakfast at the Four Seasons, Robert left me
dressed in his best suit and I went off to do some shopping.

   Walking down the streets, I was so happy.  After we had got to the hotel
the night before, we fucked with wild abandon.  Robert made me tell him
every detail of my encounter in the bathroom of the train.  When I did,
that drove him crazy and he fucked me until we were both screaming.

   I was definitely sore that day, but it was a good sore.

   Robert and I met up later in the day and he was smiles and sunshine on
the dreary February day.

   "I think I'm going to get this job," he said brightly.

   I knew he wanted this job, but I was feeling selfish.  I didn't want him
to leave New York.

   He read my mind and pulled me close.

   "I know what you're thinking - but it will be ok.  Boston isn't far.  We
can arrange something..."

   I pulled away and fell on the bed.

   "Let's not think about that now."

   I looked up at him and rubbed my breast through my sweater.  He didn't
need to be asked twice.



   Much later we were strolling hand in hand in Boston's Theatre District.
We had just had a fabulous dinner, but I knew he was restless for some fun.
And so was I, but it was so cold, I just wanted to go back to the hotel and
get naked under the sheets.  But I walked with him as the cold air swirled
around us.

   Suddenly he saw something taped to mailbox and looked it closely.  It
was a flyer advertising a rave.  They were all the rage in New York but
much harder find in Boston.

   "Let's go," he said excitedly.

   "Are you serious?  That's for 20 year olds." We were both in our late
20's by now and I often felt my drugging and dancing days were over.

   "Yeah, let's do it.  We'll get some X and dance the night away."

   "X?"

   "Ecstasy, you know."

   "Oh, that stuff?"

   I had heard about the 'Love Drug', but it never really interested me.

   "Come on - I think I know where this place is."

   He hailed a cab and told the driver to bring us down to the waterfront.
Things were going to get very interesting and they certainly did.

   Twenty minutes later we were standing in front of an old warehouse.  I
looked doubtful, but we both heard the thumping of the bass inside.  Groups
of kids were going in, but there were older people as well so I felt a
little relieved.

   I was glad that we were dressed casual having gone to an Irish pub for
dinner instead of a trendy restaurant.  I had jeans, boots, a sweater and
tank top on.  Robert had jeans, sneakers and a thin shirt.  We were both
bundled up under coats.

   When we got inside the first thing that struck me was the music.  I had
shied away from techno and I knew why.  It was fast - impossibly fast.  My
heart felt like it was skipping beats as the bass pounded us from all
directions.  I again got doubtful but there we were - shedding our coats in
the corner.  Robert gave someone at the door a bunch of bills and within
minutes he was holding two tabs of X in his hand.

   "Ok, you ready?" he asked.

   "I don't know..."

   "Come on!  Where's the adventurous Beth that used coke in the bathrooms
with me?"

   "Alright, alright," I said and popped the X in my mouth.  I dry
swallowed it down and followed him into the throng.

   It was hot and crowded and loud.  Everyone was dancing to the music
which assaulted us.  There was definitely no place to hide here.  We made
our way to other side of the floor and stood on the sidelines to wait for
the X to kick in.  Robert held me tightly and bopped to the beat.  I
watched people move and sway and touch each other.  In fact, there was a
lot of touching.  I shouted to Robert about that and he said it was the X.

   It wasn't long before I felt the first rush of the drug.  At first it
felt like I did 3 or 4 lines of coke suddenly.  It was an incredible high.
Robert was feeling it too and went and got us some bottled water.

   "Drink this," he shouted.  "This stuff dehydrates you."

   It was then that I noticed lots of people clutching bottles of water. 
There was no alcohol in the place, but none was needed.  I drank the water
all down and tossed the empty bottle to the side.  Robert pulled me out
onto the floor and the odyssey began.

   The music suddenly engulfed me and it wasn't obnoxious anymore.  The
beat moved me and I melted into it.  I felt one with the music as I danced.
One song blended into another and I lost track.  I just wanted to touch
Robert all the time, and he did the same to me.  Sometimes were embracing
each other, other times we just touched fingertips.  I felt incredibly
happy and I wanted to hug everyone around me.

   And hug I did.  Everyone was our friend.  We smiled, laughed, hugged and
danced for hours.  Every once in a while someone would bring bottles of
water and we all drank it down.  And the music never let up.

   The drug also made we want to fuck right there.  So many times I wanted
to slip off with Robert into the bathroom and do it, just like we did New
Orleans, but the music held me there.  I was in a perpetual state of bliss
and longing.

   I have no idea how much time went by, but suddenly the music stopped and
the lights went on.  There was a commotion at the door and I realized we
were being kicked out.  People weren't in a panic as we all felt too good
for that, but we knew we had to leave.  One of the girls in our little
group found a side door and Robert and I ducked out with her.  So much for
my coat, I thought vaguely.  And my sweater.  I had discarded that
somewhere and was only in my tank top.  But the cold air felt good and woke
me up a little.

   The three of us stood there with goofy grins on our faces.  Then I
noticed the way the girl was looking at Robert and I.  Robert was looking
right back at her.  Without a word he pulled her into his arms and hugged
her.  I stood there looking at them, but registering what was happening. 
At last they broke apart.

   "Let's get a cab and get back to the hotel before we freeze," he said
and led us down the alley to the street.

   Thirty freezing minutes later the three of us were in the hotel room
drinking champagne.  I was wrapped in a blanket shivering and still riding
wave after wave of the drug.

   The girl's name was Heather and she was probably 21 or 22.  She was
giggly and I could tell she wanted Robert.  I wasn't sure how to take that.
All of our sexual encounters were with men.  Robert either watched or
participated, but he never touched the other guy.  Never was another woman
mentioned.

   But now I had a feeling that something changed.  Tonight was his night -
his fantasy.  The years of married life were catching up to him and he
wanted nothing more than to let lose - maybe for the last time.  I wasn't
sure.

   Now Robert was kissing Heather.  His hands were all over her.  She was
kissing him back and they acted like I wasn't there.  I thought I would be
mad, but the drug was still in my system.  They looked so nice together. 
Heather had short red hair, but it was soft looking.  And so shiny.  She
had a nice body with perky breasts and a cute ass.  I watched them kiss
some more and felt my body responding.

   He gently pushed her off his lap and stood up.  He looked over at me his
eyes told me to come over and join them.

   In a daze, I shrugged off my blanket and walked over to them.  They both
embraced me and hugged me tight.  Their arms caressed me and I sighed
deeply.  It felt wonderful.  There was so much love between us all.  I
kissed Robert on the mouth and his tongue slid into mine.  Heather's hands
caressed my arms and my hair.  My arm went around her waist and hugged her
tight.

   Now, I had never done anything with another woman.  Didn't even think
about it until then.  I was always too busy with men and Robert always kept
me satisfied.  But that night in Boston, I tried it out and wasn't
disappointed.  No doubt the X had a lot to do with it.

   My kiss with Robert went on and on, but then I felt Heather's hands go
to my head and she turned me so that her lips were inches from mine.  She
leaned forward and brought her lips to mine in the sweetest kiss.  I moaned
softly as her soft mouth pressed against mine.  This is heaven, I thought
vaguely.  Our mouths opened and our tongues danced with each other.  Robert
kept whispering how hot that was and stepped away to let us continue on our
own.

   I was lost in her embrace.  It was so warm and gentle.  Her arms wrapped
around me and pulled me close.  Our breasts pushed together and I felt my
nipples harden.  Then I felt her nipples harden.  It was amazing.  We
kissed and touched and groped each other until we stopped and stood there
gasping.

   "Oh my god, Heather, you're so..."

   She giggled and slowly took her top off.  She had no bra on underneath
and the slight of her bare breasts inflamed my desire for her.  Her breasts
stood up with will of their own and her pink nipples were pointed at me.

   "Take off your top, Beth," Robert suggested.

   I quickly ripped my tank off and then my bra.  We stood there facing
each other and admiring each other's body.  We were completely different
builds.  She was more athletic than me and I had all the curves and
softness she lacked.  But it didn't matter.  I wanted her.  My hand reached
out for her breast.  When I touched it, I felt a shock of electricity go
through us.  She giggled again and closed her hand over my hand and we
squeezed.

   I can't describe how thrilling that was to touch another woman's breast.
She did the same to me and I moaned when our skin touched.

   Robert was getting impatient, though.  He wanted some of the action.

   "You two should be naked," he said as he slid his jeans off.  He was
standing in his boxers and his cock was straining to get out.

   I leaned over and unbuttoned Heather's jeans and slid them off.  She had
on the barest of panties and I slid those down as well.  Her pussy was
covered with just a little red hair and I saw that she had shaved most of
it off.

   I let her do the same to me and we were both naked.  I wanted to embrace
her then and rub my body all over hers, but Robert had other plans.  He was
naked now as well and I saw Heather's eyes take in his hard body and his
harder cock.

   "Why don't you two come over here and help me with this?"

   "Mmmmm, definitely," I said and we went over and knelt before him.

   I could tell Robert's wildest fantasy was about to come true.

   I took his cockhead in my mouth and sucked it for a bit and then passed
it to Heather.  She did the same and passed it back to me.  I licked the
smooth head and then she began to lick his shaft.  Both our hands played
with his balls.  In no time he was moaning and I wondered how long he would
last.

   "Oh fuck, this is incredible," he kept saying over and over again.

   Heather and I sucked and licked his cock, all the while keeping our
bodies close together.  Her touch was turning me on and I wanted nothing
more than to lay on the bed with her and just touch her everywhere.

   She had the same idea as well, but we wanted to get Robert off first. 
At last she took over and pushed his cock deep in her mouth.  I moved to
lick and suck on his balls.  His hands roamed all over our hair and he
groaned loudly.

   "Oh yes, suck me...suck me hard..." he moaned.

   And suck she did.  She took him deep.  I sensed he was close and
squeezed his balls hard.  He shouted out and pulled out of her mouth and
jerked off into her face.  Cum spurted out and covered her pretty face and
hair.  It was such a turn on to watch.  When he was done, he fell back into
his chair.

   Heather laughed and turned to me.  I knew what I wanted to do right
then. I took her head in my hands and began to lick the cum from her face
and lips.  My tongue lapped at Robert's seed.  How many times have I tasted
this, I thought, but never this way.

   When she was clean she stood up and led me over to the bed and we sat
down.

   "Are you bi?" I asked, shyly.

   "Yes."

   "Well, I've never, uh, done it with a woman before..."

   "I know," she smiled.  "But I think you'll be just fine.  You're
incredibly sexy."

   I blushed slightly and she pushed me gently down on the bed.

   "Just relax - I'll do the work this time," she said.

   I lay there quivering and she got on all fours over me.  She began by
licking my neck.  Her tongue was so soft and gentle.  After so many times
of rough, I loved the softness.  She licked my neck, my ears and then my
throat.  Then she straddled my belly.  I could feel her moist pussy rubbing
against my skin and another shockwave went through my body.

   She leaned over and pushed my breasts together and began to lick the
cleavage.  I moaned and clutched the sheets.  She smiled and moved her
tongue across my mounds to my nipples.  Back and forth she went, gently
licking them and swirling her tongue around them.  I was dying and it felt
so good.

   Robert came over and knelt beside us and squeezed my hand.  I looked
over and smiled at him.  I saw then how much he really loved me.  And even
though it was all over his face, he still whispered it to me.

   Heather smiled at the both of us and began to move her tongue down my
belly.  I shut my eyes, but still held onto Robert's hand.  Her tongue
probed my belly button briefly before her hands pushed my legs open.  I
shivered again as she began to lick the inside of my thighs.  When her
tongue at last made it's way to my pussy, it knew exactly where to go.  It
was the second time my pussy had been eaten by a stranger that weekend and
that sent shivers all up and down my spine.

   She teased apart my lips with her soft tongue and began to lick the
folds.  I shivered again and Robert's hand squeezed tighter.

   She was very good at what she was doing and I began to moan loudly. 
Robert still held on to me and as I shivered and gasped from her tongue
deep inside me.  He whispered things that only I could hear.  He told me
how beautiful I was and how much he loved me.  He also told me how sexy
this whole thing was and he wanted to fuck me when she was done.

   His words drove me crazy and within minutes I was screaming through yet
another orgasm.  Heather never let up and she licked and sucked me to a
second, but smaller orgasm.  When I felt I was ready to pass out she
stopped and moved up to kiss me.  I tasted my cum on her lips and kissed
her warmly.  Robert at last let go of my hand and told me to turn over on
the bed.

   I rolled over and lay there spent, but he had other plans.  I heard him
ask Heather to suck his cock for moment and then he was pushing apart my
asscheeks.

   He began to push his cock into my ass and I gasped, but was too tired to
move much.  He was going to have to do all the work.  He hunched over me
and after one last push, he was all the way in.  I shivered and cried out
as he began to thrust, but he was merciless.  He was going to use my ass
well and I had no choice about the matter.

   As he fucked me, Heather caressed my arms, back and sides.  She sensed
it hurt a little and she wanted to soothe me.  She was so sweet with her
caresses that I began to relax.  She kissed my hair and my neck and
whispered to me like Robert had done.  She kept saying how sexy I was and
how she knew she wanted to go back to the hotel with us only so she could
make love to me.

   Her words turned me on again and I wanted her.

   Suddenly Robert pulled out of me.  He hadn't cum and I turned over to
look at him.

   "I don't want to do it yet," he said, laughing.  "I have to see you two
together again."

   I looked at Heather and laughed.  She joined me on the bed and we were
soon in a passionate embrace.  I finally rolled her over to her back and
began to do exactly what she had done to me.  Her skin was soft and smooth
as my tongue caressed her.  She made little cooing sounds as I lapped at
her.  We didn't say anything to each other - we didn't need to.  Only a
woman knows what another woman wants.

   When I finally got to her breasts she squealed in delight as I licked
her delicate nipples.  The hard flesh felt so good in my mouth.  I nipped
them slightly and she cried out.  Her face with flush with excitement.  I
spent a long time on her breasts then I was aware of Robert moving in
behind me.  He wanted to fuck me now.

   This time, he was pushing his cock into my pussy.  It slid in easier and
he groaned.

   "Fuck you're wet," he mumbled.

   He began to take me in long, hard strokes.  I went back to Heather's
breasts and her hand reached down to rub her clit.  We were all determined
to cum together and I couldn't think of anything more exciting.

   I moved my tongue all over her breasts and I nipped them lightly.  Each
time I did that she cried out and I asked her if she wanted me to go
easier, but she said no.  I smiled, knowing how she felt and kept it up.

   Meanwhile my pussy was being pounded harder.  I lost concentration on
licking her tits and lifted my head to moan.  She wriggled underneath me
and moved down so our tits could rub each other.  I squealed as the
sensations in my breasts went all the way to clit.  She was rubbing her
clit hard and moaned.  Robert was squeezing my ass and his finger was deep
inside my asshole.  We were all so close now.

   "Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum!" he yelled and then I felt him shoot his load
inside me.

   My pussy clenched around his cock and milked him as I came as well.  I
cried out his name over and over and lowered myself onto Heather and
covered her mouth with mine.  She moaned deeply into my mouth and her whole
body suddenly started to shake.  She was cumming too and I held onto her
tightly as our breasts pushed into each other.  Robert pulled out and I
slumped onto her body, still holding her.  We kissed for a long time until
at last I rolled over in a total daze.



   Sunday morning was harsh and too bright for my tastes.  I woke up in bed
beside Robert.  He was snoring softly.  Heather was gone.

   I lay there and thought about our wild night.  It seemed like it
happened in another lifetime.  I couldn't believe I had done it.  I didn't
feel ashamed, though.  Heather was so sweet and gentle.  It might be
something I would try again.

   Robert stirred next to me and I kissed his mouth gently.  He growled and
put his arms around me and held me close.  I suddenly felt very sad.  I
didn't want to ever leave him again, but it was inevitable.

   The train ride home wasn't as exciting as the ride down.  We were both
tired and slept most of the way.  I leaned against him and savored every
moment.  I had no idea when I would see him again.

   About two weeks later he called to tell me he got the job and he and his
family were moving to the western suburbs of Boston.  I cried bitterly and
it broke his heart.  He told me he loved me, but he had to do this. 
Besides Boston wasn't too far away.  We could arrange something...

   I hung up feeling sorry for myself and angry with him for leaving me
again.  I almost considered finding a job in Boston, but I knew that I
didn't want to leave New York and what good would it do anyways.

   Instead I immersed myself back into my job and then the funniest thing
happened - I fell in love!



   Christmas 1992: Yellow Pines, Virginia

   Another Christmas.  As I looked around the room at the people who, year
after year, always showed up for the festivities, I saw that we were all
getting older.  Our parents and ourselves.  And many of the friends and
relatives that were my age were getting married and some had kids.

   I flew down that weekend with my boyfriend John - but he wanted everyone
to call him Jake.  He was the most wonderful man I had ever had a decent
relationship with.  He was warm, gentle, funny, and successful.  I felt
very blessed.

   I met Jake through work.  He was a client of an associate of mine and
rumor has it he was smitten with me after just one meeting.  He was very
persistent and I finally relented and started to date to him.  This
happened not long after Robert moved to Boston and at first I told myself I
was just trying to make my self feel better.  But it blossomed into
something much more exciting.

   I never thought that I could find someone that made me feel happy, but
Jake did that.  Once he told me that he felt like he rescued me from
something.  He didn't know what - but he felt like he got there just at the
right moment.  I laughed when he said that, but he was most certainly
correct in his assumption.

   Jake couldn't be more unlike Robert.  He was very much career oriented -
he was the owner of a small (but growing) software company.  He was five
years older than me.  He was tall and large.  His hair was dark and very
short and his eyes were brown.  He had a very commanding way about him.

   Yes, he was different and I needed that.  I needed to be away from this
doomed relationship with my cousin.  A relationship based on sex and
danger. Jake did 'rescue' me.

   So, as we sat around on Christmas Eve sipping cocktails and getting
caught up with things, I idly wondered if Robert would be there.  Since his
father died, we didn't see him or his family as often.  His mother became
very reclusive.

   But as luck would have it, my mother had persuaded her to come and there
she was in entryway with Robert by her side.  Robert - who looked a little
haggard.  Robert - who was not accompanied by his family.  I saw him look
quickly around to see where I was and watched his eyes settle on me.  At
first he looked relieved when he saw me, then his looked changed to
puzzlement when he saw Jake sitting next to me.

   Jake was immersed in a conversation about computers with another cousin
of mine so I slipped away to greet Robert and his mother.

   His expression softened when he saw me, but when I looked at him I could
see that something was going on that left him very upset.  Robert always
had a carefree, boyish look that never failed to attract me, but tonight he
looked older than his twenty-eight years.

   As he hugged me, he whispered that he needed to talk to me as soon as we
could manage it.  Alone.  I told him we should be able to slip away later
with no problem.

   After dinner, more people arrived and it got a little crowded so I
sought Robert out and whispered for him to meet me in my old room in a few
minutes.  He nodded and looked grateful.  My heart was pounding as I
wondered what was so urgent.  I climbed the stairs to my room and waited
impatiently on the bed.

   Robert came into the room minutes later looking anxious.  He rushed over
to me and hugged me hard.  I sat there a little stunned and gave him a
stiff hug back.

   "Robert, what is it?" I asked, exasperated.

   He looked up at me with a scared look.

   "It's Pamela.  She knows something."

   "Oh my god," I gasped.  "She knows about us?"

   "Well, not quite.  She knows that I've been unfaithful, but not with
whom."

   I felt somewhat relieved, but I tried not to show it.  He was still in
trouble.

   "What is she going to do?"

   He looked down at the floor.

   "She said she will leave me unless I stop.  If she even suspects
anything, I know she'll hire a private investigator." He looked disgusted
and said: "Fucking lawyers..."

   I looked at him and felt full of pity.  I clasped his hand in mine.

   "Then you need to do what you need to do if you want to save your
marriage," I said quietly.

   "But I can't give you up!"

   "Robert, we're not a couple.  We've been having a very illicit affair
for ten years!  We should have never done that."

   He fell silent and I think we both remembered what happened in this room
10 years before.

   He sighed.

   "You're right, I'm sorry.  I'm just so distraught.  If she left and took
my son..."

   "I know, I know." Robert loved his son more than anything.  It would
kill him to be apart from him.

   We sat there silent for a few moments.  Both us knew that we needed to
end this, but could we really?  I did love him very much, but we were
moving on with our lives.  He had his family and I had Jake.

   "Well, we should get back.  I don't want to keep you from your man," he
said with a hint of spitefulness.

   "Don't worry about Jake, he's in his glory.  He loves to work a room."

   Robert's face split into a slight smile and he squeezed my hands.

   "Do you really like this guy?"

   "Yes.  Yes, I do."

   He looked into my eyes.

   "Beth - how I love you."

   I lowered my eyes - I couldn't look at him anymore.  I lowered my eyes
and thought of something to say.  I told him what I had just thought -
about moving on.  He got agitated.

   "You can't have it all," I pointed out.

   "I know, but I want it all.  Beth - you turn me on in ways I never
thought imaginable.  Sex with Pamela is so...sterile.  You're my partner in
crime!"

   I laughed a little and hugged him.  He hugged me back even harder.  Then
I felt his mouth near my ear.

   "I want you so fucking bad," he whispered.

   "Robert, I don't think so..."

   "Just once more.  We may never have this chance again."

   "I-"

   But he never let me finish.  With a rough push, I was down on the bed
and he began to kiss me hard on the mouth.  I tried to resist at first, but
the thought of yet another risky encounter got me excited and I was soon
matching his kisses in intensity.  His hands pushed my arms out to the side
and held them there.  He pinned my body down with his and I surrendered to
him completely.  His mouth moved to my throat where he licked and sucked
until I was moaning.

   "Take that dress off," he said in husky voice.

   He let me go and I slid my dress off until I was clad in bra, panties
and garter belt.  I just never outgrew my love for stockings and garters.
And he was pleasantly surprised.

   "Fuck, you are so hot," he growled and he pushed me back down on the
bed.

   He pushed my bra up and over my aching breasts and began to suck them
hard.  As he brought each sensitive nub into his mouth I had to scream into
my pillow.  It had been so long since I had them sucked that hard.  Jake
was too considerate no matter how many times I tried to get him to do that.

   "Mmmmm...I love biting your nipples," he said.

   And with that he sunk his teeth into the hard flesh.  My cries were once
again muffled in the pillow and I almost came right at that moment.  He
moved his hand to my mound where he cupped it.  His mouth stayed busy
sucking and licking me.  I was so horny for him - I was bucking up against
his hand on the bed.  I needed to be fucked by him so bad.

   He knew it too.  He lifted his head and undid his pants to get his cock
out.  It sprung out fully hard.  I licked my lips and lay there, breasts
heaving.

   "Fuck me Robert.  I want to feel you inside me..."

   He grinned and pushed my panties aside and slid his cock in to the hilt.
I gasped from the force of his thrust and immediately my legs went around
his waist to pull him in.

   "Oh fuck - baby, you're so wet," he moaned.

   I ground my pelvis against him.  I wanted the maximum amount of friction
on my throbbing clit.  He moved a little faster and groaned.

   "Play with your tits, I know you like it, my pretty slut."

   It had been forever since I'd heard words like that.  I grabbed my
breasts and squeezed them hard, pulling and pinching my nipples.  I was
squirming all over the place and trying not to cry out.  He moved faster in
and out of my pussy and suddenly I felt the orgasm rush up.  I wanted to
hold out as long as I could, but I just couldn't.  So much tension and
longing had been stored for too long.  At last it came out.

   I clenched my teeth and came in a long shuddering gasp.  He watched with
interest as my face flushed.  Even though I was quiet, it was pretty
intense.  He stopped moving within me and just let my pussy clench his
cock. A long sigh escaped his lips and he came too.

   Robert collapsed on top of me and we held each other tightly.  It was
definitely one of our shorter encounters, but we were both worried we would
be missed.  But I also thought we were so turned on, we couldn't hold back.

   I kissed him again and again and then sadly told him we should get back.
He sighed and pulled out of me.  Never had I felt so empty.

   He waited for me to cleanup in the bathroom.  When I looked presentable
he held me tight and murmured in my hair.

   "Are you going to fuck your boyfriend tonight with another man's cum in
your cunt?"

   I froze at those words - how similar they were to another event so long
ago.  And yet again it turned me on.



   When Jake and I finally retired to my room that evening we did fuck and
when we woke up on Christmas morning, he proposed to me.



   New Years Eve, 1999: San Francisco

   It was the biggest party night of the Millennium.  Literally.  I was
dressed in a black, strapless evening gown and I was wearing a mask. 
Actually, everyone was.  It was the event of events for the New Year - a
masquerade ball.

   So there was I was in the poshest hotel in the city surrounded by the
best and brightest - minus one.  Jake, in his undying love for his
business, was hunkered down in San Jose with his employees babysitting the
business.  He was convinced the Y2K bug was out to get him and he wanted to
be the one to squash it.

   Naturally I was disappointed that I couldn't spend the big night with my
husband, but he was so insistent that he was needed.  He persuaded me to go
to the ball.  And he promised that as soon as we could, we would slip away
to the Caymans for a much needed vacation.

   There was no shortage of people to accompany me to the party.  Most of
the wives of couples I knew were being similarly abandoned.  We were all
married to Software Giants who were more concerned with the roll-over of
the calendar than a silly party.

   I was determined to have a good time and dressed up in my very best and
even had a limo pick me up.  As we whisked through the streets of the city
and headed for the Bay Bridge, I reflected on my life as I think most
people did at this very important juncture.

   Jake and I married in the fall of 1993.  He didn't see any reason for a
long courtship - he was 'madly and passionately' in love with me.  I loved
him as well - maybe not with the same intensity, but I did love him and he
made me happy.  The wedding was in Virginia and everyone was there - except
Robert.

   I was never quite sure why he wasn't able to go, but I figured it was
just as well.  I didn't go to his either.  We were both consumed with
jealously.

   Anyway, Jake and I honeymooned in the Caribbean and became big fans of
snorkeling.  We tried to get away at least once a year to do this.  We
spent another year in New York and Jake decided to move his business to
Silicon Valley.  It was where the action was.  I said I would go along with
it as long as we could live in Oakland Hills.  He agreed and we moved west.

   I was able to transfer to my company's San Francisco office with little
difficulty and before I knew it we were settled into a comfortable
California life.

   Things with Jake were, in a word, calm.  He was a hard worker and a
loving husband.  I put my crazy days with Robert behind me and concentrated
on being a good wife.  We decided to forgo having children and just
concentrate on our careers and each other.

   Eight years slipped by and my memories of Robert were largely tucked
away.  Very rarely did I let myself remember what we did.  When I did, it
usually got me horny then slightly depressed.  I only saw him once after I
got married and it was during Thanksgiving.  He didn't say much to me as
Pamela was with him.  It was about a year after Jake and I got married.  Of
course he looked great like he always did and I had a hard time trying to
concentrate on other conversations.  Then after that he slipped away and I
didn't hear much about him.

   It was so weird that after being so madly in love with him, I didn't
think of him often.

   The limo pulled up in front of the hotel and I walked into the lobby. 
The place was buzzing with excitement and I was instantly swept up in it. A
new Millennium!  I showed my invitation, grabbed a mask and made my way
into the ballroom.

   It was decorated in such a way that it was grand and decadent at the
same time.  I grabbed a glass of champagne from a tray and took in the
sights and sounds before me.

   The room was filled with masked partygoers, but it looked like most
people were able to find others that they knew.  Little groups of three and
four were clustered around the bar and tables with food.  A few adventurous
souls were dancing to mainly 80's music.  As the Police boomed over the
sound system I felt a little pang of a memory tucked away.  I smiled wryly
at the fact that the 80's had made a comeback.

   I was spotted by some of my contemporaries and was pulled into an
excited conversation about this one and that one.  I drank a few glasses of
champagne and felt the buzz in the room elevate as the seconds ticked away
towards midnight.  I had to admit, it was pretty exciting.

   I did miss Jake, though.  He had called right before I left to say that
he would be home as soon as he was sure things were going to be ok.  It
would probably be morning before I saw him.  As I told him I loved him, I
could hear laughing and the distinct sound of a beer opening.  I smiled as
I thought they were probably going to have a good time and make the best of
it.

   I was getting a little tipsy, but it didn't matter.  I had a ride home
and besides - I was masked!

   At five minutes to midnight, the room reached a fever pitch.  It had
already swung into 2000 in several time zones without any trouble and
people felt hopeful and excited.  I moved to the edge of the room to steady
myself and get ready.  For, hopefully, the last time they played Prince's
1999 and I leaned back against the wall and let a few more memories drift
over me.

   As the song wound down and they began to count down the last minute of
1999, I was aware of someone staring intently at me.  I didn't think I knew
him, but he was masked and it was dark as they had shut down the lights. 
There was something familiar about him, but I figured it was one of Jake's
software buddies who somehow managed to get out of babysitting.

   I diverted my attention when I heard: "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!!!!!"

   Suddenly the room was flooded with balloons and confetti.  Everyone was
hugging and kissing each other.  I was wishing Jake was there when I felt
two hands grasp my arms.  I looked to see who it was but before I knew what
was going on, a pair of lips was pressing hard against mine in a kiss that
left me breathless.

   When at last he pulled away I was too stunned for words.  The mask was
now off and it was Robert.

   Time suddenly stood still then began to reverse.  My first (and only?)
love stood there before me with such a look of longing on his face.  I
forgot where I was and threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. 
The years melted away and we together again.

   Every once in a while I would fantasize about meeting him and what we
would do.  I always thought it would be strained and subdued since we had
not seen each other in a while.  But what was going on in that packed room
exceeded my expectations.  As we embraced so did a hundreds of others. 
Although most were celebrating the fact they had made it to the new
Millennium, Robert and I were erasing the years that had separated us.

   He held on to me tightly.  At that moment I forgot about everything else
and concentrated on his arms around me and his hard body pressed against
me. I felt his mouth move to my ear and his voice told me how much he had
missed me.  A few tears came to my eyes.

   "Let's go someplace a little more private.  I have to see you and hear
you," he murmured.

   I broke away from him and led him away to a deserted corridor.  We sat
in a love seat and faced each other.  At last I pulled my mask off and
smiled at him.

   "God, you're beautiful, Beth," he croaked.

   I blushed like I used to and looked down at his hands.  Suddenly I
noticed he had no wedding band on.  I looked up at his face.

   "Pamela," was all I said.

   "Divorced me three years ago," he said.

   "Oh my god, I didn't even know!  I'm so sorry!"

   He shrugged.

   "It was bound to happen, but I don't want to talk about it right now."

   I nodded and looked into his blue eyes.  He smiled again and that boyish
charm returned.  He looked great - his blond hair was a little longer and
brushed back from his face.  My eyes wandered over his body and saw that he
was still taking care of it.  Again, the memories came rushing back.

   "I can't believe we ran into each other here," I said finally.  "How did
you come to be here?"

   "Well, after the divorce I moved back to Pasadena and got a teaching job
at Caltech.  It was the best thing I ever did.  I love it there."

   I smiled at him knowing how much academia agreed with him.

   "One of my friends from the university invited me up to the Bay Area
when he found out I was going to spend New Year's alone.  I think he felt
sorry for me." He laughed and went on: "He told me that the Who's Who of
San Francisco would be at this ball and it would be fun to go.  He has
friends in high places, I guess."

   He looked at me and his face got serious.

   "I know about your husband - he's pretty well known at Caltech.  I
figured he would be here along with you and I wanted to catch a glimpse."

   I said nothing and instead looked at him.

   "So I went in here and picked you out right away, but I haven't seen
your husband."

   "He's working - Y2K," I said in a small voice.  I was feeling like I
needed some air all of a sudden.

   "Oh right, of course."

   "So you were checking me out all evening?" I asked.

   "Yes.  I was afraid to approach you.  I had no idea how it would go."

   I finally raised my eyes to look at him.  His hands squeezed mine.

   "Beth, I never stopped loving you after all these years.  A million
times I wanted to contact you, but I figured you were too busy with your
life.  I didn't want to bring up old...memories."

   "That was probably a wise idea," I said.  "I've been happily married
these last 6 years."

   "I know - I kept up with you through my mother." He paused.  "You must
be very happy."

   "I am," I admitted.  "It's a good life out here."

   I was still buzzing from the champagne and the effects of being kissed
by him.  It started to stir an old yearning inside me.  I tried to push it
down, but it was persistent.  I realized our hands were still tightly
clasped.  Then, without warning, the tears came flooding out.

   "Beth...what's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

   "I - I don't know.  It's just-" And then I slumped as big sobs came out
of me.

   I felt his arms go around to hug me close to him.  It was a comforting
embrace and I was grateful for it.  So many memories and emotions that had
been locked away were released and I couldn't hold back any more.  I cried
on his shoulder as if the world had suddenly ended.  His hand rubbed my
back and he whispered over and over that it was ok.

   "I've missed you so much," I said between sobs.  "I never realized it
until now."

   "I'm right here, my love.  I've never been far away."

   He held me until I calmed down.  At last I pulled away and I pulled some
tissues from my purse and wiped my eyes.

   "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," I murmured.

   "It's ok - I totally understand how you feel."

   "I think I'm going to go home now," I said, feeling very tired.

   "Do you need a ride or something?" he asked as we stood up.

   "No, I have a limo.  I just need to call him."

   I reached in my purse for my cell phone and dialed the number.  After I
hung up, I wiped my eyes again and looked at him.

   "It was good to see you again, Robert," I said.

   He looked a little heart-broken, but I needed to go home.  I was afraid
of what might happen, but I gave him my card anyway.

   "Give me a call or an email any time," I said.  "Jake and I would love
to take you to dinner if you're up this way again."

   I heard myself saying those words and it sounded so formal - so forced.
He took the card and put it away.

   "I'll be in touch.  I promise."

   He pulled me close and kissed my cheek.

   "Happy New Year, Beth."

   And then he was gone back down the hall and into the party.



   June 2000: San Francisco

   By the summer the honeymoon was over and the software industry was
taking a big dive.  Jake's company was struggling and he was determined to
keep it afloat.  It put a tremendous strain on us.  He was on the road
constantly trying to get more funding and win clients.  When he was home,
he was moody and depressed.  I tried my best to soothe him, but he wasn't
haven't any of it.  I began to just leave him alone and spend my nights on
the Internet doing work.  The advertising business was still thriving and I
always had plenty to do.

   The first email from Robert came one night while I was reading the
financial news online.  Jake was in Phoenix on business and I was pretty
bored.  As soon as I saw his name come up, my heart skipped a beat.  I
double-clicked on the subject line and his words appeared on my screen.

   Hi cousin:

   Sorry I didn't write sooner - I lose track of time when the semester is
going on.  It was really great to see you on New Year's.  You looked great
as always.  We heard at Caltech that things aren't going so well with
Jake's company.  I hope things turn around for you.  Let me know if I can
do anything.  Keep in touch...

   -Robert

   I read it again and hesitated a bit before I clicked 'Reply'.

   Robert - Yes, things are not so good, but Jake is determined to pull
through this.  He's in Phoenix right now trying to land a large client.  I
hope it turns out ok - he's been a bit edgy.

   Glad to have seen you too.  Thanks for thinking of me.

   Beth

   I sent it and went to get a glass of wine.  When I came back, my email
icon was flashing.  Apparently he was online and got my message right away.
I opened it and got a very brief message which made my heart flutter:

   Are you alone right now?

   My screen name is bb64

   I went to my instant message program and looked at my very short list of
contacts.  Before I knew it, I had added his name to it and there he was on
my screen.
Adwiz: yes, I'm alone...bb64?
Bb64: bridge builder
Adwiz: ohhh..hahaha
Bb64: i miss you
Adwiz: I miss you too...
Bb64: i haven't been able to get you out of my mind since new year's
Adwiz: I thought you were involved in your semester?
Bb64: i lied
Adwiz: oh.
Bb64: I wish I was there right now holding you close

   I sighed and looked at those words for a minute before responding.
Adwiz: I have to admit, I wish you were here too
Bb64: god, you are so sexy...
Adwiz: blush
bb64: I love it when you blush
adwiz: you always seem to do it to me!
bb64: but I like making you cum even more
adwiz: now I'm blushing even more!

   I had to laugh.  I had never flirted via the Internet before.  Leave it
to Robert...
bb64: what are you wearing?
adwiz: are you serious???  you sound like some high school kid!
bb64: maybe I am ;)
adwiz: hehehehe
bb64: so....
adwiz: so?
bb64: what are you wearing?
adwiz: a pair of shorts and my sports bra - I was working out earlier
bb64: mmmmm...get all sweaty?
adwiz: of course
bb64: would you do something for me?
adwiz: what?
bb64: pinch your nipple.

   A shudder went through me just then.  He was the same old Robert again,
just the way of communication changed.  I reached up and pinched my nipple
through the fabric of my bra and shuddered again.
bb64: did u do it?
adwiz: yes...
bb64: make them hard for me...pretend I'm sucking them

   I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my nipples through the bra, but
there was too much material.  I hooked it and freed my tightly bound
breasts.  My nipples responded to the air and began to harden.  I pulled on
them and remembered how he used to suck and bite them.  I shivered.  and I
couldn't believe what I was doing.
bb64: they're hard now, aren't they?
adwiz: yes.
bb64: good...now touch your pussy

   I reached down and slid my hand in my shorts and my phone rang.
adwiz: shit!  phone
bb64: ok...

   I grabbed my cell phone and saw that it was Jake.

   "Hi, honey," I said, trying to compose myself.

   "Hi - did I catch you in the middle of something?"

   "Oh, just finished working out - a little short of breath."

   I felt terrible lying.

   "Well, I thought I'd just check in," he said.

   "How's it going?"

   He let out a deep sigh.  "Not good.  We haven't been named vendor of
choice and I'm not sure we will."

   "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie..."

   "I'll figure something out.  Anyways, I'm not going to be home until
Friday."

   It was only Monday.

   "That sucks," I said sullenly.

   "I know, but I'll be home by noon.  Maybe we can drive up the coast for
the weekend."

   "Ok, that sounds good.  Hurry home!"

   "I will," and he hung up.

   I sighed and put the phone down and looked at my screen.
adwiz: ok, I'm back - it was Jake
bb64: everything ok?
adwiz: no, I think they are going to lose this sale
bb64: sorry to hear that
adwiz: and he won't be home until Friday

   There was nothing from him for the next couple of minutes.
adwiz: still there?
bb64: yeah, just thinking that I may need to go to SF soon
adwiz: why is that?  business?
bb64: yeah, there is a pussy that needs satisfying

   I blushed deeply and realized my bra was still open and my pussy was a
little moist.
adwiz: you're bad, you know that?
bb64: bad to bone
bb64: but serious
adwiz: I don't think...
bb64: why not?  you scared?
adwiz: well I am married in case you forgot
bb64: that never stopped you when I was married

   He had a point.  I felt a wave of excitement wash over me at the
prospect of seeing him again.  He had begun to excite me all over again.
adwiz: so you want to come up here?
bb64: yes.
adwiz: when?
bb64: is tomorrow too soon?
adwiz: I have to work
bb64: don't go in
adwiz: but I have to...
bb64: no you don't.  my semester is done and I need a vacation
adwiz: I'll have to check my schedule
bb64: Beth - I want to come up there and fuck you silly...fuck the
schedule

   My face turned a deep red when he typed that.
bb65: and I'll get a hotel so we can be discreet
adwiz: um, ok...
bb64: having second thoughts?

   I took a deep breath and said: fuck it.
adwiz: no - get your sexy ass up here
bb64: that's my cousin - let me give you my cell phone number...



   July 2000: Los Angeles

   We never hooked up the next day.  Something came up at work I couldn't
get out of.  I really did want to see him.  Thinking about being with him
had made me horny and restless and I wanted to see him very badly. 
Naturally, he was bitterly disappointed, but he made me promise to get
together with him soon.

   Jake returned to Oakland in a bad mood and we didn't get away for the
weekend.  I found myself retreating from him more and more.  I was able to
fill the gap by talking to Robert on the Internet.  He was concerned for me
due to Jake's slumping business and bad moods.  I told him I would be ok
that we would weather this storm, but deep down I wasn't sure.

   Sometimes we didn't talk about things like that and when Jake wasn't
around, Robert would call me and whisper dirty things to me.  A few times
he would have me moaning and writhing on the bed with my fingers deep in my
aching pussy.  I needed him so bad as Jake and I weren't having sex that
much.  And when we did, it was more a release for him than me.

   The sexual tension built between Robert and I in a few short weeks. 
Finally, I needed to go see him.  It was unbearable.

   I told Jake I was going to LA to visit friends for the weekend.  I could
have told him I was fucking Robert all weekend and I doubt he would have
cared.  He was that distracted.  Robert, on the other hand, was dying to
see me.  He promised me a wild weekend not unlike the old days in LA.  I
laughed and told him I was an old married woman but he wasn't having any of
it.  So I packed my bags and, feeling very nervous, flew down to LA.

   He was waiting for me at the gate with a bouquet of roses.  I was very
touched and a few tears sprung to my eyes.  He always had that romantic
touch in him when he wanted me to see it.  I hugged him and whispered to
him how happy I was to be here.

   We drove through the hot, steamy streets of the city to the Four
Seasons. I laughed a little as I remembered a time at a different Four
Seasons.  My body felt tense, though.  This was the first time I had been
unfaithful to Jake in our marriage.  Although I still loved him, I wondered
how much longer we could stay together.  Robert pulled up in front of the
hotel and we got out of the car.  I pushed the thoughts of Jake aside and
got ready for a weekend filled with endless possibilities.

   Everything was so glamorous and expensive.  Robert was enjoying all it.
He just looked so happy having me there with him and it showed.  I cursed
our family ties again for making us having to act this way.  I know in my
heart had he not been related to me, we would have been married and living
a great life.

   "Beth, you look so far away," he said, grasping my hand.

   We were riding up in the elevator.

   "Sorry, just thinking how strange it all is."

   "It certainly is, but it's also very sexy.  And so are you."

   He kissed my cheek and I blushed.  I wore a sexy summer dress for him. I
was entirely in white, but there was nothing virginal about it.  Underneath
the low-cut, thin strapped dress were a white satin bra, sheer white
panties and white thigh-highs.  I began to favor those over garters.  My
hair was much shorter now and cut in a bob.

   At last we got to the room and went in.  It was huge and very luxurious.
I looked at him and smiled.

   "Not bad for a college professor, eh?" he said as he put our bags down.

   "Not bad at all!"

   He sat down a chair and unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of his shirt.

   "Ok, my pretty little one, how about shedding some of those clothes for
me.  I can't think of anything but fucking you right now."

   I giggled and stood in front of him.

   "Like a strip tease?" I asked.

   "Like a strip tease." He smiled mischievously as usual.

   I took a deep breath and reached back behind me and began to slide the
zipper down.  As I did that, I thrust out my breasts for him.  He leered at
me and licked his lips.  Once I got the zipper down, I pushed the straps of
my dress off my shoulders and let the dress fall to the floor.  I stepped
out of it and moved slightly closer to him.

   "Oh my god, you're so fucking sexy," he breathed.  "You haven't changed
a bit."

   I said nothing and began to rub my breasts through my bra.  I could see
the bulge forming in his pants.  I turned around and wiggled my ass at him
and moved my hands around my asscheeks.  This time he just groaned.

   When I had turned around to face him again, my panties were off and my
mound was exposed to him.  He licked his lips and began to rub his cock
through the material of his pants.  I kept going and unhooked my bra.  When
it fell to the floor I moved so that my legs were touching his legs.  I
stood before him and looked down.

   "I can't wait any longer," I said in a husky voice.

   He unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out.  It was rock hard and
ready for me.

   "Then come over here and sit on this," he said.

   I moved to him and straddled his cock.  I was certainly wet enough for
him then.  I think I began to get wet as soon as I got on the plane.  His
cock slid into me easily and we both shuddered from the sensation.  It had
been too fucking long since we had done this.  Immediately his hands went
to my breasts.  At first he gently cupped them and weighed them in his
hands.  He murmured how wonderful they looked.  I pushed them into his
hands and began to beg him for what I wanted.

   He knew it too.  My hard nubs were squeezed between the thumb and
forefinger of each hand.  I moaned and threw my head back.  Our bodies were
joined but we did not move - yet.  I was just happy to be filled by his
delicious cock.

   "Harder," I said to him.

   He squeezed harder.  I cried out, but I wanted more.

   "Bite them."

   He released his hands and leaned into to bite my nipples.  When he did,
I shuddered all over and my pussy contracted around his cock.

   "Mmmmm...I can feel you squeezing me," he said.

   "Bite me again, please."

   He sucked one nipple into his mouth very hard and his teeth sunk into my
flesh.  I shivered and moaned and begged him to do it to the other.  He
moved his head and then the other nipple was bitten.  It was then that I
began to move on his cock.  He had me so wound up, I wondered how long I
would be able to hold out.

   His hands went around to my ass and began to squeeze as he thrust his
cock deep into my aching cunt.

   "Oh fuck, you feel so good, Beth.  It's been so long..."

   I answered him with a long moan and started to ride him a little harder.
His mouth went back to sucking my nipples and shockwaves went through my
body and again and again.  My hands were on his shoulders and my head was
back.  I concentrated all of my efforts on his cock and each time he thrust
into me, I got that much closer to cumming.

   "Ohhhh...fuck me, Robert...fuck me hard, I have to cum."

   He thrusts increased in pace and I was riding his cock hard.  My breasts
bounced in his face and I started to feel that feeling.

   "Oh yes, I'm gonna cum!" I yelled, not caring where I was.

   "Cum, baby.  Flood my cock," he growled.

   That was it - I went screaming over the edge and came in a long howl.  I
rode him hard and wanted him to cum as well.  It didn't take much for him.
The sight of me screaming and panting caused him to release his load deep
into my pussy.  We held each other and rocked hard, moaning and sweating
and cumming for an eternity.

   Then he pulled me close to him and hugged me so tight, my breasts were
crushed by his body.  I could feel my cum leak out and drip onto his balls.

   "Beth, oh god, how I've waited for this moment.  I wondered if it would
ever happen."

   I kissed the top of his head and let my body calm down.  His cock was
still deep inside of me and I wasn't ready to release him yet.  He buried
his face between my breasts and we spent a long time just holding each
other.

   When I felt his cock softening, I slipped off him and knelt between his
legs.  I wanted to lick the cum off him and I could tell he wanted me to.
When I grasped his cock with my hand I saw my wedding and engagement rings.
There they were on my hand which was holding a cock that did not belong to
my husband.  The reality hit home.

   "Fuck...what am I doing?" I cried and threw myself on the bed.

   He was at my side in an instant.  I felt his hands stroke my hair but I
couldn't look at him.

   "It's a lie - all of it," I moaned.

   "What is?"

   "My fucking marriage!"

   He sighed and lay next to me on the bed.

   "Beth, you did what you had to do.  Just like I married Pamela.  I did
it so I could try to forget about us."

   "It didn't work, did it?"

   "No, it didn't.  For a while it did, but like I told you - I never
stopped thinking about us."

   I rolled over on my back and grasped his hand.  Tears were on my cheeks.

   "Did it hurt you to betray her?" I asked.

   "Yes, it did.  I kept telling myself that I wouldn't get together with
you anymore, that I'd just lead a normal, but rather dull life.  But it
didn't work out that way.  I kept finding new ways to be with you. 
Eventually our marriage just dissolved."

   "She never found out who you were having an affair with, did she?"

   "No, thank god.  After I saw you at Christmas I knew it was the last
time we could be together.  Eventually Pamela was satisfied, but I never
really recovered.  I lost interest in a lot of things - especially her."

   "And I got married," I said quietly.  "That was my way out."

   "Yup.  I know exactly how you feel right now, my love."

   He squeezed my hand harder.

   "What am I going to do?" I asked.

   "Nothing."

   "Huh?"

   "Nothing.  You're not going to call up Jake and tell him you're fucking
your cousin.  You're not going to divorce him.  In fact, you're not going
to think about it anymore.  Enjoy this weekend with me, cuz."

   I wiped the tears from my cheeks and smiled at him.  God, how I loved
him.  He rolled over and kissed me tenderly.

   "Beth, this is your weekend.  We can do whatever you want."

   "Anything?"

   He laughed.

   "Yes.  We can stay in this room all weekend and fuck.  We can go out
dancing.  I don't care.  I just want to be with you and enjoy this short
time together."

   I looked at the clock - it was Friday afternoon.  We had two days and
two nights to be together.  I was determined to make the most of them.  But
tonight I wanted to take it a little slow with him.  I wanted to enjoy just
being with him without running around and acting crazy like we used to do.
I told him and he couldn't agree with me more.

   We ordered up a feast from room service and gorged on fine cuisine and
champagne.  We smoked pot and hung out in the room.  We made love
leisurely. We snuggled in bed and fell asleep with the TV on.  It was
heaven, but it wasn't over yet.



   Robert was restless the next day.  Although he didn't complain about
staying in the night before, I could tell he wanted to get a little wild.

   "How wild?" I asked, laughing.

   "As far as you are willing to take it.  Do you know your limits?"

   "Limits?  I have no idea...I've been married..."

   "Are you willing to find out?"

   He looked at me seriously and I felt a curious rush of pleasure go
through my body.  I felt that at that moment everything we had done in the
past was nothing compared to what he wanted to do.  Or what I was willing
to do.

   "I want to try...with you," I said in a small voice.

   "I'll be with you every step of the way, my love," as he kissed me. 
"Just trust me, ok?"

   "I will."



   The first thing I needed to do that day was go shopping.  Robert wasn't
satisfied with the clothes I brought with me.  I had thought they were sexy
and a little daring, but he said they were way too conservative.  He said I
needed to be a little more daring.  So he sent me on my way to find
something while he made plans for the evening and worked out at the hotel
gym.

   So off I went to Hollywood as I felt the 'daring' clothes could be had
there.  It did take me a while, but I found an outfit that I thought he
would like and I would like wearing.  He still wasn't back when I returned
so I took a long, leisurely bath and decided to shave my pussy.  I didn't
always do it, but I had a feeling he would appreciate it.  The whole time I
was preparing for the evening, I kept getting these waves of excitement
washing over me.  The only time I thought about Jake was when I removed my
rings and put them into the safe.

   When it was time to dress for our adventures, Robert had me lay out what
I was to wear and stand in front of him nude.

   "I have something special planned for us tonight.  I think you'll like
it given our past experiences," he chuckled.  "However, anytime you want to
stop, you just tell me."

   I wondered what it could be, but I just had to wait.

   "Now come over here and sit in my lap," he said.

   I slid into his lap and he began to kiss my neck.  I shut my eyes as his
hands roamed all over my body until at last they began to squeeze my
breasts.  How they always ached for his touch.  His fingers began to pinch
my nipples very hard and when he finally lowered his head take one in his
mouth I cried out softly.

   He sucked and bit them until they throbbed.  I wanted him to fuck me
then and give me the release I so desperately needed, but he stopped.  I
pleaded with my eyes for him to continue but he shook his head.

   "As much as I want to, I'm not.  Now get dressed."

   I stood up and felt how wet my pussy was.  When I went to reach for some
tissue, he wouldn't let me.  My face got red as I realized what kind of
night this might be.  I started to dress and he told me how.

   I slid on some stockings and a garter belt but I wasn't allowed panties.
Over that was a very soft suede mini skirt that just barely went below the
line of my stockings.  I had a nice satin strapless bra to use, but he
wouldn't let me.  At this I complained a little, still a bit shy about
going braless and I reminded him I wasn't 20 anymore.

   "I don't care, they look great to me, so show them off," he said.

   I sighed and pulled on the lace wrap cross over top I bought.  It was
beige like my skirt and barely covered my breasts.  My stiff nipples poked
against the material and I realized why he spent so much time on them - he
wanted them to be stiff and prominent all night.

   I finished up with some thin strapped sandals and I few items of
jewelry. He sat there and admired me.  At last we were ready to go.

   He came over to me and embraced me.

   "Remember, I love you and we're just going to have a little fun, ok?  I
would never let anything happen to you."

   I nodded and kissed him tenderly.  "I trust you."



   First stop was dinner at yet another trendy restaurant in Beverly Hills.
We entered the lobby and I found that Robert had reservations for us.  We
were also going to be joined by another person..

   A good-looking blond man approached Robert and shook his hand warmly. 
He was a little taller than Robert and looked to be around 4 or 5 years
younger.  His hair was long and pulled back into a ponytail.  He was
dressed casually like Robert and his body was lean and hard.  The two of
them could almost pass for brothers-

   I gasped.

   "Brett?"

   He turned and looked at me and smiled.

   "How are you cousin?" he asked.

   I shot a look at Robert and his face told me that everything was ok.

   "I-I'm fine.  I didn't recognize you at first."

   He laughed.  "Yeah, it's been a while."

   "Well, let's get our table and catch up," suggested Robert as he took my
hand.

   We were escorted to a cozy booth in the corner.  As I walked, the soft
suede of my skirt rubbed against my bare ass sending little shivers up and
down my spine.  My nipples were hard again and I tried to avoid the stares
of the other patrons and my tits jiggled with each step.

   I wondered who Robert knew in order to get this little hide-away.  We
slid in and I sat in the middle flanked by each brother.  My stomach was
fluttering as I was so nervous.  I hadn't talked to Brett much since that
long ago night in Pennsylvania.  I had always worried about our 'secret'.

   When the waiter came, I ordered a martini.  I needed something strong.
Robert and Brett ordered beers and we sat back and chatted.

   "So, are you living in LA?" I asked Brett.

   "Yeah, I moved out here about 5 years ago.  I went through a shitty
divorce and needed a change of scenery."

   "Oh, I'm sorry.  I guess I lost track," I admitted.

   He looked at me and grinned.  "I haven't lost track of you.  My brother
keeps me up to date."

   I laughed nervously and Robert squeezed my hand.

   "So what do you do out here?" I asked.

   Both the brothers laughed.

   "What?" I asked, looking back and forth at them.

   "Brett produces porn movies.  He owns a company."

   I looked at Brett wide-eyed.  "You're kidding, right?"

   "Nope."

   Our drinks came and I took a big gulp of mine and set the glass down.

   "What about Princeton and your promising career?" I asked him.

   "I used it to build up my fortune.  Plus, trust funds help."

   All three of us had benefited greatly by trust funds and there was no
need to explain any further.

   "It's something I always wanted to dabble in," he admitted.  "After my
divorce I decided to just do it and have some fun."

   I hadn't watched much pornography in my life, but the whole thing seemed
a bit sleazy to me.  However, I didn't tell him that.  I guess if it made
him happy, then he was entitled to it.

   "No one in the family knows," added Robert.  "We just say he produces
independent arty movies that no one ever sees."

   They both laughed.

   "So here we are, the three black sheep with our own little secrets to
hide," Brett said as turned to look at me.  He raised his beer and said:
"Cheers."

   The first martini went down too quickly so I had another.  We ordered
dinner and I listened mostly as the brothers talked about different things.
I started to loosen up a bit and got a little more comfortable with my what
I was wearing and who was sitting next to me.  Both brothers had moved a
little closer to me in the booth.

   When the food came, they attacked it, but I barely ate mine.  I was
still wondering what else Robert was going to surprise me with.  I didn't
wait long as I felt Brett's hand on my thigh.  His hand was under the table
and gliding up my sheer stockings to my hemline.  He did this as he was
talking to Robert.  Robert knew what was going on and then his hand was on
my other thigh.  The color rose to my face as I sipped my third martini.

   So as they carried on a conversation, their hands were moving up my
legs. They both slipped under my skirt at the same time and Robert
whispered to me to open up for them.  I moved my legs apart and I felt
their hands move to my inner thigh.  I tried to focus on the conversation,
but I couldn't manage much.  They, on the other hand, were acting like
nothing was happening.

   I looked around nervously at the other patrons, but everyone was so
engrossed in their own meals and conversations, that no one noticed.

   Robert's fingers reached my slit first, followed by his brother's.  I
choked back a moan as they gently teased my lips apart.  I was still very
wet from earlier and Brett let out a grunt of surprise when he felt my
juices.  I couldn't see their faces as my gaze was vaguely focused down at
my half eaten meal.

   They both began to push their fingers into my wet snatch and wiggle them
around.  I bit my lip and balled my hands into fists.  It felt so fucking
good and so dangerous at the same time.  My nipples were impossibly hard
and pushing against the material of my top.  Robert noticed and gave one a
tweak.  Again I choked back a moan and couldn't believe what they were
doing to me in this public place.

   And still they talked, but their voices were lower and Brett was telling
Robert about some of the movies he had produced.  It was definitely a turn
on, but I couldn't say a word.

   I even opened my legs some more and Robert whispered how much of a slut
I was.  Those words drove me crazy as their fingers went to work.  Brett
was fucking me with two fingers as Robert's were working on my clit.  Sweat
was beginning to form on my forehead and my face was no doubt bright red. I
had a spoon in my hand and I clenched it tightly.  I was almost there and
they knew it.  Their fingers went faster and harder.  My body was on fire
and my nipples felt like they were going to burn a hole in my top.

   "Oh god," I said in a tiny voice.  "I'm going to cum..."

   And then the orgasm washed over me.  I closed my eyes and bit my hand so
I wouldn't cry out.  Their fingers kept rubbing me and I shuddered but I
didn't make another sound.  It was incredible.

   They both withdrew their fingers and I lay back against the seat and let
out a big sigh.

   "Um, thank you," I said.

   Brett laughed loudly and a few heads turned to look at us.  I
immediately lowered my head and smoothed my skirt out.

   "I need to use the ladies," I said.

   Brett stood up to let me out and followed me down the corridor.  All the
bathrooms were single rooms.  I realized he wanted to join me.  How could I
deny him?  We slipped into the room and he unzipped his fly.

   "Get on your knees and suck me," he commanded.

   I looked at his semi-hard cock and did what he asked.  I was slipping
into my old ways and I loved it.  My hand guided him to my mouth and I
began to suck his cock in earnest.  I knew I had to be fast and I didn't
think it would take him long anyways.  He had been leering at me all
through dinner.

   I grasped him and let my mouth close over his head.  My lips moved down
along his shaft and I sucked hard.  He moaned and thrust his hips out.

   "I always hoped I would feel your lips around me again, cousin," he
groaned.

   I continued to suck him and his hands went to my hair and grabbed a
handful.

   "Move your hands away," he gasped.

   I did and he began to fuck my mouth in short little strokes.  My hands
grabbed his thighs for support as he began to use my mouth like a cunt and
fuck it.  His moans were strained and he was lost.  My mouth was going numb
from the assault.

   "Oh yeah...I'm gonna cum...here it comes..."

   He stopped thrusting and I felt his cum shoot out and flood my mouth. 
My throat responded and swallowed it down.  He moaned and whimpered as he
shot his load.  I held on to him and let him finish off.  When he withdrew,
some it dribbled down onto my chin.  He leaned against the wall.

   "Oh fuck, that was good," he said, panting.

   I said nothing and stood up to wash the cum from my face.  When he felt
recovered, he zipped up, gave me a kiss and went back to the table.

   I sat on the toilet for a while and tried to calm myself down.  For so
long my wantonness had been pushed away and I was the dutiful and good wife
to Jake.  I tried to deny those desires were ever there, but they were. 
And tonight with these two brothers, both my first cousins, they were out
again.  I felt powerless to control how I felt anymore.  Instead I was
determined to just go along with it.

   Feeling refreshed, I returned to the table.  They were both standing up
and were ready to go.  The bill was taken care of and we left the
restaurant and climbed into Brett's car.  I sat up front with him and
Robert was in the back.

   "Where are we going?" I asked.

   "My house in the Hills," answered Brett.  "You'll like it up there."

   And so we drove out of the city and into a rich residential area.  The
road rose and wound by manicured estates - many hidden from view.  It was
beautiful and exotic as the sun finally set and washed the landscape with a
deep red.

   We pulled up to a gate and it opened and we drove down a long driveway.
At the end was a huge ranch.  I was impressed.  We entered the house
through the garage and again I was very impressed by the décor and layout
of the house.  I told Brett and he smiled and bowed.

   "At your service, milady.  Anything you need - just ask."

   "How about a drink?"

   "Of course."

   He led us to a cozy living room with a bar and big couch.  Robert and I
sat down next to each other and got comfortable.  Brett made us drinks and
handed them to us.  He put some music on and we settled in and I wondered
what was next.

   What was next was a tall, stunning woman with long dark hair and a very
prominent bust line.  She walked into the room and kissed Brett.

   "This is my girlfriend, Leila," he said, introducing her.  "This is my
brother Robert and his friend Beth."

   I was relieved when he said 'friend' instead of 'cousin.'

   "Nice to meet you both," she said graciously.

   Brett handed her a drink and she sat next to him on the opposite couch.
We started to converse again and I relaxed once more.

   I started to gather from the conversations that Leila used to be a porn
star, but after she started seeing Brett, she tapered off and preferred to
help him produce the movies.  She was gorgeous and I noticed Robert kept
staring at her.  No doubt he had seen her in something before.  I didn't
say a lot and was happy to just listen.  I didn't want to give out too much
information.

   We all got a bit drunk as the evening wore on.  Then Brett got out a
mirror and some coke.  It had been a while since I had indulged, but
thought it would be fun.  The alcohol was making me a little sleepy.

   Soon we were all feeling a rush and laughing.  I felt Robert's hands all
over me and I noticed Leila kept looking at me.  I felt a blush rush to my
face and snuggled against Robert.  I knew my nipples were really hard again
and maybe that was why she was looking at me.  A vague idea went through my
mind that maybe we were all going to get together later.

   I was right, but I didn't know how intense it was going to be.

   "Ok, shall we have some fun?" asked Brett standing up.

   "Yeah, let's do it," said Robert.

   "Are you ready, Beth?" he asked me as we stood up.

   "Yeah, I guess." I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

   Brett led us through the house and down some stairs.  We entered a room
and snapped on the lights.  There was no doubt what this room was used for.
A large platform bed dominated the room.  There were mirrors on some of the
walls.  It was a fairly bright room and I saw the video camera.

   I looked at Robert nervously.

   "Beth, don't worry," said Brett casually as set our drinks down on a
table.  "This is for my private collection."

   Robert put his arm around my waist and whispered to me.  "You're testing
limits, remember?"

   "Yes, but..."

   "Come on, you'll like it.  We'll all like it."

   "If this ever gets out-"

   "It won't, trust me.  Brett does this stuff all the time.  He's very
discreet otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to it."

   I looked into his eyes.  My body was tingling from the coke and the
excitement of what was to happen.  My mind was fighting it, though, but I
finally gave in to my baser desires.

   "Ok," I said kissing him.

   "Alright, looks like we're settled then," laughed Brett.  "We'll start
out slow and see what happens."

   He told Leila to get the camera together and he sat down and told me to
sit on the edge of the bed.

   "Just do what comes natural, we're not working off a script."

   We all laughed and I sat down and crossed my legs.  Leila turned on the
camera and so it began.

   Music was playing in the background.  I had no idea who it was as I had
lost touch with what was popular.  It wasn't bad, though.  Robert came over
to stand in front of me and I knew what he wanted me to do.  I reached up
to unzip his pants and pull his cock out.  I pushed it into my mouth and
began to suck his swollen head.  Concentrating on only that, I pushed the
thoughts of Brett and Leila watching and filming us out of my mind and
began to pleasure him.

   His hand went to my breast and squeezed it through my top and he got
hard very quickly.  My nipples rose to full hardness and I moaned against
his cock.  He began to thrust it in and out of my mouth.  When I reached
for his balls, he pulled away.

   "Lie back," he whispered.

   I lay back on the bed.  He grabbed my legs and pulled me so that my ass
was right at the edge.  He pushed my legs open and brought his face close
to my pussy.  Leila moved closer to us for a better shot and I shut my eyes
and felt his breath on my bare mound.

   The coke was extremely good and my body was sensitive to every touch,
every sensation in the room.  I felt the warm lights bathing my body.  I
heard music swirling around us.  And I felt Robert's hands on my thighs and
then his tongue touched my swollen lips.  I jumped a little and he laughed.

   "Relax, my sweet," he said.

   His hands pushed my legs apart even more and my skirt was now up around
my waist.  Everyone could see my drooling pussy.  I heard Brett remark on
it just before Robert's tongue pushed into my gaping hole.

   "Oh fuck..." I wailed.

   It felt so good.  His tongue was swirling around my clit and teasing my
lips apart until I was completely open to him.  I lay there, legs spread
and arms out to my sides and let him lick the nectar that was running so
freely now.  My pussy contracted a few times, wanting to feel something
thicker.  He pushed two fingers in and that was to satisfy me for the time
being.

   Suddenly I felt another presence near me and I opened my eyes to see
Brett next to me.  He was still clothed like the rest of us and he leaned
over to kiss me hard on the mouth.  I let him do that, but kept my arms to
the sides.  I liked the feeling of being in complete surrender to these
brothers - these cousins of mine.

   He broke the kiss and began to untie my top.  I shuddered as he moved
the material aside to expose my breasts.  He brought one hand to cup and
weigh my heaving tit and I moaned softly.  His thumb flicked one hard
nipple and I cried out.  Robert heard me and began to suck my clit into his
mouth.

   And the ever-diligent Leila filmed it all.

   Once again I was transported back to that night in Pennsylvania when I
experienced sex for the first time with two men.  How young we were then,
but this time around we were a lot more experienced.  Both of them knew how
to please me in many, many ways.  Soon I was squirming and thrashing on the
bed.  Brett's mouth and hands were teasing my breasts and Robert was
between my legs.  Finally, my arms moved to cradle Brett's head as he
sucked at my breasts.

   "Mmmmm...yes, suck me...both of you.  Suck me!" I began to thrash harder
and cry out.

   They never stop licking and biting and caressing and my body exploded
into my second orgasm of the evening.  They let me go on and on, never
stopping until I did.

   When Robert's face pulled away from my pussy, it was slick with my cum.
He sat up and smiled and wiped it off with his fingers.  He sucked from the
tips.

   "That was great, Beth," he said as I lay there trying to catch my
breath.

   I smiled weakly and slowly sat up.  Brett handed me a drink and I gulped
down half of it.  I stood up and removed the rest of my clothes and slumped
into an overstuffed chair.  There was no need to be dressed anymore.

   "Ok, who's next?" Brett asked.

   Robert stood there stroking his cock.  His pants were off, but his shirt
was still on.  Leila handed the camera to Brett and walked over to him and
got on her knees.  My eyes went wide as she took his cock in her mouth and
began to lightly lick his head.  I felt a little funny watching this, but
there was nothing I could do about it.

   Brett was holding the camera now and filming them.  She was still fully
clothed at this point but her breasts were swaying obscenely as she sucked
Robert's cock.  His eyes were shut and he was groaning.  He was enjoying it
and I was getting a little jealous.  I decided to insert myself into the
situation.

   I went over to them and stood very close to Robert and began to kiss
him. One arm went around me, pulling me tight to him and our tongues began
to duel.  His other hand was on Leila's head as she sucked him.  All I
could hear was the slurping sounds of a blowjob in progress.  I pushed my
tongue deeper into his mouth and he slid his teeth across it.  I moaned
softly and his hand slid down my back to my smooth ass where he squeezed it
roughly.

   Leila must have been really getting to him as he broke the kiss to
groan.

   "Oh yeah, suck me, bitch," he moaned.

   Again, I was slightly jealous as I thought he only talked like that to
me.  I brushed it aside and began to suck on his neck.  His grip got
tighter on my ass and he turned his head to whisper to me and only me.

   "Fuck, this is hot, love.  You enjoying it?" he asked.

   "Yes," I breathed.

   "You know I love you and only you."

   "Yessss."

   "So tonight we'll have some fun.  I want to fuck you and watched you be
fucked.  I want to see you scream in pleasure."

   "Mmmmm," was all I could say in reply.

   "I...oh, fuck...I'm gonna cum, my love.  Hold me."

   I held him tight as his body shuddered and he came.

   "Oh fuck yes!" he cried out as he exploded into Leila's mouth.

   Only then did I look down and see her.  Her bright red lips were clasped
tightly around his shaft as she drank down his cum.  Her hand had been
squeezing his balls and her eyes were shut.  When he pulled out of her
mouth she licked the cum from the tip of his cock.

   I held onto my man and kissed him deeply as he hugged me back.

   "Wow," said Brett from the other side of the room.

   We all laughed and looked at him.  He had put the camera down and was
undressing before us.  My eyes took in his lean body and I licked my lips.
I thought he looked much better now than he did at 19.

   "Ok, brother, can you handle this camera?" he asked when he was naked.

   "Of course."

   They did the hand off and Brett lay down on the bed.  His cock was erect
and laying on his stomach.

   "Why don't you two girls come over and join me," he said as he stroked
himself.

   "I was gonna rest myself," I said.

   "Oh no, no, Beth...you're the star of this flick!" he said, laughing.

   I tried to protest but then Leila came over to me and took my hands in
hers.

   "Please Beth.  You're so beautiful - I want to share you with him."

   Her touch was so warm and my body tingled all over.

   "Go ahead, Beth," said Robert softly.

   I let Leila lead me over to the bed and I lay there next to Brett.  He
turned over to kiss me and caress my arms.  Leila had begun to undress and
when she was done, she lay on the other side of me.  I turned to look at
her.  She was breathtaking.  Her body was very slim except for her large
breasts that wobbled on her chest.

   She pushed her long hair away from her face and brought it close to
mine.

   "May I kiss you?" she asked.

   I swallowed hard and thought of yet another scene.  Again it was in
Boston and I was about to be with a woman for the first time.  It had also
been the last time since I never had the opportunity again.  Now it
presented itself again and I was ready.

   "Yes," I said softly.

   She smiled and leaned into me.  Our lips met with such softness that I
sighed into her mouth.  Her arms went around me and held me close as our
bodies got closer.  Her full, ripe breasts pressed against mine and I
stroked her long hair.  Brett moved behind me in a spoon position and I
could feel his hard cock pressing against my ass.  His hands stroked my
hair, my back and my sides.

   Our kisses increased in intensity as we warmed to each other.  I could
still taste Robert's cum in her mouth and that turned me on very much.  My
hands got bolder and reached between us to caress her breast.  It was very
firm as I squeezed a little.  She did the same to me.

   Brett began to reach between my legs to rub my aching pussy.  I raised
my left leg so he could get access.  I was still very wet and he told me
so.

   "I want to fuck that wet cunt of yours," he whispered.

   I broke my kiss with Leila.

   "Yes...oh yessssss," I moaned.  I wanted a cock in me so very badly.

   He moved behind me and I felt brush his cockhead against my lips.

   "Push it in, please," I said, softly whimpering.

   With a slight movement he pushed his cock into me and I gasped.  Leila
moved up a little higher and pushed her breast to my mouth.  I eagerly took
it in and began to suck on her large brown nipples.  She groaned and thrust
her pelvis against me.  Since she was taller than me, her mound and mine
touched.

   The three of us were connected and I was in heaven.  They both were
expertly fucking and touching and caressing me until I started to feel a
little lost.  My cunt was filled completely with Brett's cock.  My clit was
rubbing against Leila's and my mouth was all over her luscious tits.  Our
moans filled the air and I almost forgot about Robert and the camera.

   Leila reached her arm around me to hold onto Brett.  His body was
sweating as he thrust against me.  We were all holding to each other
tightly and we moved as one.  It was one of the most erotic scenes I had
ever participated in.  It began to feel way more intimate than just
fucking. These two people were giving me some of the most intense pleasure
I had ever known.

   Leila's movements reached a new frenzy and her breasts were all over my
face as I tried to keep up with it.  I heard her grunting and moaning as
her pussy rubbed against mine.  I could also feel her fingers down there
helping out.  We were both getting very close now.  I held onto her and
urged her to cum.  For some reason it was very important to me to hold her
and feel her cum.

   "Mmmm...yes, I'm so fucking close," she said through her tightly
clenched jaw.  "Suck my tits harder, Beth, make me cum!"

   And I did.  I sucked her hard just like I liked to be sucked.  Then her
back arched and she screaming out that, at last, she was cumming.  Brett
was still pounding me from behind and when he heard his girlfriend in the
throes of ecstasy he exploded deep within my cunt.  It was all too much for
me and I came in long shuddering gasps.  I was dimly aware of Robert's
moans from the other side of the room as my body was wracked by yet another
incredible orgasm.

   Time stopped for a moment as we all were experiencing the incredible
rush of cumming.  Coke was still present in our systems and it only added
to the high.  Leila moved away from me and the cool air of the room touched
my sopping pussy.  Brett pulled out with a groan and I was aware of the
amount of cum that was on me.  It was all over my mound, my thighs and in
the crack of my ass.  The sheet beneath me was soaked.

   I sat up with a groan and a little shiver.  Leila brought over a warm
robe and I eased into it.  Exhausted, I slumped down on the couch where
Robert joined me.  He hugged me and kissed my neck.

   "God, that was so hot," he whispered in my ear as he nuzzled me.

   "Yes it was..."

   "Mmmm...baby, I love you so much," he said, his voice cracking slightly.

   I held on to him for a while as we relaxed.  Brett mixed some more
drinks and chopped some more lines and we got ready for the Big Final Scene
as he so eloquently put it.

   Feeling rejuvenated, I shrugged my robe off and stood in front of
everyone.  Robert was still on the couch and Brett and Leila were at the
bar.

   "Are you ready for your big scene, Beth?" Brett asked.

   "Yeah.  Bring it on."

   They all laughed and I realized I had no idea what the final scene was.

   "Ok, Robert, get on the bed and Beth you can start getting him ready,"
directed Brett.  I wondered how many times he directed scenes like this.

   Robert and I got on the bed and he lay on his back.  I stroked his cock
with my hand until it was fully hard.  I knew that I wanted to ride his
cock with my breasts pushing in his face.  And he wanted me to.

   "Ride me baby," he croaked as I began to move to him and straddle my
legs.

   "My pleasure," I said.

   I climbed on him and eased his cock into my still sopping pussy.  We
both groaned as it went in.  I leaned over his body and presented my
breasts to him.  He reached up and squeezed them and I winced a little from
all the abuse they took that evening.  But he didn't care.  He pulled me
down even more and took one nipple into his mouth and began to nip lightly.
Jolts of pain went through my body and manifested itself in my pussy.  It
was stretched around his cock and I still wanted to be fucked.  I could
have gone all night at that point.  Something had been unleashed in me that
was impossible to control.

   I heard Brett telling Leila to suck him as I rode Robert's cock.  Then I
saw in the mirror that the camera was on a tripod pointing at us. 
Apparently the Big Final Scene involved all of us.  My eyes followed
Brett's reflection in the mirror to the bed.  I looked back down at Robert
who was lost in my cleavage.

   Brett's voice came from behind me.

   "Are you ready for this, Beth?"

   "Go for it," I said and shut my eyes.  I knew what was going to happen.

   I felt his cock pushing against my tight asshole.  His hands gripped my
asscheeks and began to slide in.  I was thankful he was somewhat lubed from
Leila's sucking as he pushed past my barrier.  He hunched over me and
finally slid his cock home.  I cried out as I was filled more than I had
ever been before.  Double penetration was new for me.

   "Oh fuck yeah, you're so tight," Brett groaned.

   Tight was an understatement.  With these two cocks inside of me, I
stretched and filled to the limit.  Both of them were pretty well-endowed
and I was experiencing it at that precise moment.  For a minute no one
moved.  They gave me time to adjust.  I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to
relax.  The feeling was unbelievable.  It hurt and felt good at the same
time.

   Slowly they began a rhythm.  It took a little practice to get in synch,
but once they found it, it was beyond belief.  I shut my eyes and began to
moan and pant very loud.

   "Ok, Leila, you ready?" Brett said as he thrust into me.

   "Yes, I'm ready."

   I opened my eyes and watched her move right in front of me.  Her legs
were spread and her pussy was open right over Robert's head.

   "Beth, you need to angle yourself away a little bit," Brett said, still
directing.

   I moved a little to my left and Leila was able to get her body in and
lower herself down onto Robert's face.  His hands went up to grab her
thighs and soon he was eating her out.  Her groans mixed in with ours and
we were off.

   I couldn't believe how intricate this arrangement was.  Both my holes
were being fucked at the same time as Leila was squirming on Robert's face.
My head was rested against her hip and she was stroking my hair.  Brett was
reaching under me and stroking and pinching my breasts.  We were like a
well oiled machine whose only goal was to get off.

   There was no talking, except for a 'fuck' here or an 'oh-my-god' there.
The sweat was forming on our bodies as we fucked and licked ourselves
silly. I lost track of time and even who I was.  All I could feel was the
two cocks rubbing each other through the thin membrane between my asshole
and cunt.  Brett's breath was on my back and it was coming in long, jagged
gasps.  He was close.

   "Oh fuck Beth, I'm gonna cum inside this ass of yours," he groaned.

   "Do it...cum in her," Leila said.  "I want to see you fill this slut's
ass."

   When she spoke those words it sent shockwaves through my body.  Brett
let out a loud gasp and stopped pumping me as he came deep in my ass.

   "Oh fuck yeah!!!" he shouted.

   Robert had been pretty quiet as his mouth was occupied but I felt him
increase his strokes when Brett pulled out of me.  He pummeled my stretched
cunt and when he stopped, he came as well.  I used that opportunity to lift
my body up and ride him some more.  I was so fucking close.  My fingers
were rubbing my clit furiously.  Leila leaned over me and began to suck on
my tits.  I groaned and rubbed harder.  So close...so very close.

   When it finally hit me, there was an explosion of white light.  I
couldn't believe I could climax this hard again that evening, but I did.  I
screamed out that I was cumming and Leila held me tight.  She was panting
and moaning that she couldn't hold back anymore.  I wanted to tell her to
just let go, but I was so far gone at that point I couldn't articulate the
words.  We just held each other and shuddered over and over again.



   Sunday was spent sleeping in.  Robert had asked for a late checkout time
and we slumbered in the luxurious bed in the hotel room.  My body ached in
many different places and my pussy, ass and breasts were sore from all the
fucking.  Brett had driven us back to the hotel room a few hours after we
had recovered from the last scene.  The coke had kept us up all night and
it was just getting light when he dropped us off.

   As much as I didn't want to do it, I had to get up and get to the
airport.  I dragged myself into the shower and stood there for an eternity.
I got out finally, dressed and found Robert wrapped in a robe and staring
out the window.  I went to him and slipped my arms around him and hugged
him tightly.

   "I know I said it a million times last night, but thank you," I said
softly.

   "No - thank you," he laughed.  "You were incredible."

   I blushed slightly and held on to him.  My rings were back on my fingers
but I couldn't look at them.  Instead I held on to him as if I could never
let him go again.

   "I love you cousin," I whispered to him and tears came to my eyes.



   It was evening when I slipped into our house in Oakland.  Jake was
dozing on the couch and I looked at him with a mixture of tenderness and
guilt.  Deep in my bag was a videotape that I wondered if I even had the
courage to watch and deep in my head was a plan that knew I had the courage
to carry out.




Epilogue: April, 2001

   I pushed the car faster and shifted into overdrive.  Interstate 5 hummed
beneath me as I hurtled south.  To my right the sun was sinking into the
ocean.  It was a beautiful afternoon in more ways than one.

   I let my mind wander back.

   Leaving Jake was easier than I thought.  I think he realized I was
unhappy with him and he was more married to his business than me.  Not long
after I got back from that wild weekend in LA I told him that I wanted out.
It was like he was almost prepared for it and he didn't argue.  In fact, it
was almost painless.

   Of course, it did take its toll on both of us, but I knew it would be
for the best.  I wanted my freedom and he was stifling me.  He moved out of
our house and into a place in San Jose.  I put the house on the market and
gave my resignation to the advertising firm I had worked at since I
graduating college.  I had a harder time leaving that place than leaving my
husband.

   After the house sold, I moved all of my furniture and stuff into a
townhouse in the LA area.  I was going to take some time off from working.
In fact, I didn't need to really work anymore if I wanted.  I had plenty of
money from the divorce, my savings and that good old trust fund.  I was
looking forward to my new found freedom.

   That was two months ago.

   I returned my attention to the present and looked at Robert dozing in
the car next to me.  I smiled at him and replayed in my mind the first
night we spent together in my new place.  We had no illusions that we could
live together as husband and wife.  We could never do that.  In fact, we
had to live almost a secret life so our families wouldn't find out.  The
only one that knew was Brett and as long as he could participate in our
fantasies, I knew wouldn't tell a soul.

   What I was doing wasn't easy, but I wanted Robert more than anything and
he felt the same way.  We discussed many times how we were going to handle
this and we were willing to take the consequences.

   He stirred next to me and opened his eyes and yawned.

   "Sorry, love, I was just so tired," he said sleepily.

   "That's ok - I am wide awake.  In fact I haven't been this awake in
years."

   I smiled and as the sun dipped below the horizon, the desert closed
around us and we sped closer to Mexico for our first real vacation
together.

   The End.