Author: Madame Ovary Title: Anna and Me Summary: Steven loses his wife, and later falls in love again with a much younger woman. Keywords: nosex, Mf, rom Steven loses his wife to a drunk driver, and later begins to fall in love with his best friend's daughter Anna. But what he doesn't know is that Anna is already in love with him. This is a poignant story of loss and then of finding true love again, and although there's no sex in it, this story begs for an erotic part 2. Anna & Me By Madame Ovary March 2015 True Friendships, and Loss Jim and Alicia Chambers had been my next-door neighbors for the past 10 years, but I had known Jim and been a part of his life since our college days. That's when we started hanging around and he and I had been the best of friends ever since. I was best man at his and Alicia's wedding and I'd always loved her like a favorite sister. They were truly good people and we were as close as friends and neighbors could get. They'd had only one child, Anna, who was almost 16 now. When Anna was 7, Jim and Alicia asked me and my wife Susie if we'd consider being Anna's godparents. I had talked it over with my wife at length and we finally agreed. Jim and Alicia had both grown up back east but had transplanted out here to California where they met in college. Both of them were only children and now Anna was an only child. They'd talked the idea of guardianship over with their parents, whom Susie and I had met a couple of times over the years, and everyone on their side felt right about the whole godfather/godmother thing, and that had helped us make up our minds. The four of us were inseparable, always doing things together at either at their house or at ours, and since they lived directly behind us in our quiet little suburban neighborhood, it was a quick trip! In fact, Jim and I had built a gate that allowed us to simply walk from one yard to the other. Susie and I had watched their daughter Anna for them countless times when they wanted to go out on their date nights or just needed a 'babysitter for her'. We never once looked at it like we were being dumped on. We loved Anna like she was our own daughter and she loved us like the aunt and uncle she would never have. It wasn't unusual for Anna to spend the night with us to give Jim and Alicia a well-deserved break and in the early years, she'd climb right into bed with us and we'd all cuddle up together and read to her before lights out. Anna became the child that Susie and I were not able to have and we felt truly blessed to have her in our lives. I was a software engineer by trade and worked out of my house, but my favorite pastime and hobby was photography. It had actually become more than a hobby for me over the years, and I had installed a small 10x20 portable building out back just off the house for a studio and over the years had taken a lot of baby pictures, glamour shots, and school photos for people and their kids. I'd taken just about every photo Jim and Alicia had in their house, and I did their family shots and Anna's school photos for them every year. But my real love was nature and night photography. Being in software, I knew enough about computers and electronics in general to be dangerous, so over the years I'd helped them set up their home network and home office, burglar alarm system, big screen TV and surround sound system, you name it. Jim had been in marketing since he graduated college but his first love was cars and he knew mechanical things inside and out, so I never had a problem with anything that had an engine in it. For both families, it was a good melding of talents, and together Jim and I could figure almost anything out. But I think the best part about the four of us was that neither of us guys and neither of our wives were the kind to stray or get wandering eyes. Jim and I would never, ever have thought about getting fresh with the other's wife, and the gals wouldn't have ever considered it with us guys. We really were the best of friends. And then, three years ago I lost Susie in a car accident. A drunk driver took her life away and in my bitterness I hired the best lawyer money could buy and I took his insurance company for everything I could get. Between the ADD insurance and the lawsuit, I was comfortable enough that I'd never have to work again, but I lost the most precious thing I'd ever had in my life and no amount of money was ever going to help refill that hole in my soul. Needless to say, I had some very dark months after losing Susie, just trying to sort out everything in my head. I now had to learn how to live alone again without my best friend and help mate. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I know I'll miss Susie till the day I die. When you lose a spouse and you have no children between you, you feel like you've lost everything, and in a way, I had. It affected Jim and Alicia horribly as well, and even through my grief I could see it had completely devastated them. I felt bad enough for myself, but I felt terrible for them and their loss, and especially for Alicia. She and I clung to each other in a new and more intense way after Susie was gone. I think I was not only her friend, but I became Alicia's 'earthly link' to her deceased best friend as well. I accepted that role, and never forgot to be patient and loving to Alicia. Jim in turn understood that, and so if we hugged longer or stayed up late talking or crying, he gave us our time. In the end, it was good therapy for both of us. In any event, both of them were right there with me every step of the way after it happened. For many weeks and months after the accident, they had me over to dinner at least 3 or 4 times a week, just to get me out of my empty house, and to keep an eye on my progress, too. Plus, we realized we needed to cling to each other even more after Susie's loss, and not become strangers. Susie would never have wanted that and so it turned out that everything we did after that seemed to be guided by a single principle - what would Susie have wanted us to do? I'm pretty sure I could have made it through that first year or so after the accident without them in my life, but it frightened me horribly to think what that would have been like, and the additional toll it would have taken on me. Jim and Alicia never changed their minds about me being Anna's godfather after we lost Susie, and I only brought it up one time, about a year after the accident. They both told me they still wanted it that way and besides, they told me they planned on being around for a very long time, and Susie would have wanted me to stay Anna's godfather, anyway. We never brought it up again. Anna Jim and Alicia's daughter Anna was their pride and joy and she had been mine and Susie's as well, and we all knew that she was going to be someone special from a very early age. Anna was very intelligent, and with two sets of parents to raise her, she was always learning something new and challenging. We pushed her to be curious and to not believe everything she heard. We taught her to think for herself, and to ask intelligent questions, and the four of us gave her a wide variety of interests. As a result, she was very precocious, and it was rare that you could hide something from her. In conversation, Anna spoke as though she were years older than she was, and she was a joy to have around as a result. She had never really been talked to as if she were a little child, nor did she want to be. Mature and insightful, Anna was a gifted girl, but more than that, she had turned into a beautiful young lady. Anna at 15 was 5'6" and beautifully proportioned. She had very dark hair and the most amazing blue eyes. Over the last two years, Anna had started to get her breasts and with only a month to go until she was 16, her body was already beautiful enough to give Jim some sleepless nights. I know Jim and Alicia and I worried a lot about her and her affections, but Anna was unlike other girls her age and seemed to be in control of her hormones. She and I had talked about boys quite a bit and she just couldn't see herself dating any boy her age as she felt they were such clods as she had put it. I always came away from those conversations smiling at her wit and wisdom. I've never known eyes like Anna's, and it wasn't just the blue color that was so startling about them. When Anna looked at you, it was like she knew what you were thinking, and her gaze could be quite unnerving on occasion. There were times when you would swear she'd read your mind and that she had you all figured out. Sometimes, I think I believed was true, and it would actually cause me to change what I had been thinking about! Silly, I know, but still there was something about her eyes that never failed to startle or amaze me. Between that and her natural unassuming beauty, her precocious and intelligent nature just kept you on your guard all the time, and yet you just always wanted to be around her all the same. Prior to the accident, we two couples were over at each other's houses almost every day. We visited so much that both couples had interrupted sex with the other couple from an unexpected visit on numerous occasions. It was a joke between us and we never failed to laugh about 'being interrupted'. But now with Susie gone, it was like more than a fourth of us was missing from the sum total, and we were just not the same anymore because of it. Then, after almost 2 years of being single, Alicia had begun talking with me about my desire to date again. After feeling me out about it, she asked if I would allow her to make a suggestion about a women she or Jim knew, and sometimes after asking a few questions about the gal they had in mind, I'd go through with it. Sometimes though, I wouldn't. I guess I just wasn't ready to date much, and I certainly wasn't ready to get serious again. Anna stopped spending the night with Susie and me after the accident, and I missed those evenings of conversation, popcorn and movies, but I understood it, too. She still came by regularly and over the first year or so after the accident, and we invariably spent a lot of time talking about the "old days". I could tell she missed Susie tremendously, and I could also tell that she was terribly worried about me, which touched me greatly. It seemed like Anna visited more often and stayed longer to make up for not spending the night, and I was grateful for that. In the early months after the accident, there were several times where Anna had broken down in front of me, which caused me to cry with her. There were a couple of times when she cried so hard that it scared me, but then I knew I had cried like that on numerous occasions and so had Alicia. It was part of the healing process of having a dear one's life ripped away from you. Still, it broke my heart terribly to see her sadness, but her deep-felt emotions made me love her all the more. In many ways, Anna was still 'my baby girl' and she always would be, but she was starting to grow up, and with those changes she wasn't a baby anymore. She was changing now in a lot of ways that were becoming very apparent to me. She clung to me more now than before. I wasn't sure if she was scared of losing me now the way we'd lost Susie, or if it was something else. I couldn't be sure, and of course I never brought it up. I couldn't help noticing though, that over the last two years she was more apt to give me a big hug, or kiss me lightly on the lips, or just to reach out to touch me in some innocent way. I also noticed that the inscrutable look she used to give me so often had begun to change and had softened. There was something in her eyes now that was even more unnerving to me than worrying that she might know what I was thinking. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it felt like more than just your average school-girl crush going on there. And I'll admit that as she seemed to change, my thoughts and feelings toward her began to change and deepen as well. A Birthday Anna had shown an interest in my photography that first year after the accident, and so I asked her if she'd like to help me in my studio when I had clients over for photographs. She was a fast learner, and it was gratifying to me that she wanted to learn it, especially since it was such a passion of mine. Of course, she wasn't happy with just being a "girl friday" and wanted to know more about how I did things with the camera and why. For her 15th birthday, I'd bought her a "point and shoot" camera, just to see if she would stick with it. In the meantime, I started teaching her how to post- process photos using computer software and she proved to be a quick study there as well, and sometimes she had a better eye for detail than I did. Now with her 16th birthday coming up and her having stuck with the point and shoot and really taken some fine photos, I decided to buy a DSLR kit with two lenses and some other necessities to go with it. I had asked Jim and Alicia about it first and they were OK with it. We had seen how her interest in photography had grown into something real, and were glad she had that outlet. She had even joined her high school photography club and I just knew that she wouldn't be satisfied until she was president of the club, and next year was her best chance at it since the current president was graduating from high school this coming May. I had seen her interest grow until she was going on photo shoots with me to peoples houses or other locations. She never minded carrying my equipment and helping me set up, and had even started to have some good ideas about where and how to shoot once we got on location, and she was great with the client's children, which was a big help to me. I was always willing to listen to Anna and she beamed when I praised her, but she never pouted when I decided not to take her advice. At those times, I would usually tell her why I hadn't, and it had helped her to better understand the choices I'd made. Anna's sweet sixteen birthday party was bittersweet because of Susie's absence, but the four of us were slowly starting to get stronger, as time thankfully has a way of doing that. The sadness never goes away, but the shock of the loss diminishes with time and somehow you find the strength to go on with your lives. That's the strange part about a loss like that. You start out taking it a second at a time, which eventually (and thankfully) becomes a day at a time. After the party with her girlfriends at a local pizza parlor and I got the call from Alicia saying they were home, I went over right away for "our family party". I was in the kitchen with Jim and Alicia and Anna came in, putting her arms around my neck and looking me dead in the eye. "So what did you get me for my birthday?" she asked quietly. She smelled wonderful and her arms around me really felt nice. I missed hugs and could never get enough of them now. "To tell you the truth" I said, winking at Alicia, "I'd forgotten all about it until today!" "Liar!" she whispered in my ear. She was flirting again, and I hated to admit it but it sent a tingle straight through me every time she did it. "Look over there on the counter, babydoll" I said to her. She squealed appropriately as she went over to get the box we all knew she'd been eyeing ever since she'd gotten home. It was an ordinary cardboard shipping box that Alicia had wrapped for me, and there was a card on top of it with her name on it. She brought it over to the kitchen table and sat next to me while she read her card. I could see she was having problems reading the card as her eyes were filling up with tears and by the time she was done, the tears were rolling down her cheeks and then I was getting some really good hugs and salty kisses from her. I had really opened up in that card to her, more than I ever had, and I'd told her in a long note how much she meant to me. I was teared up by then and so was Alicia as we watched her face, but for me they were tears of sadness and of joy. Sadness for the loss in our lives, but joy that these fine people and especially this wonderful young lady were in my life. Needless to say, Anna was thrilled with the new camera and I had to promise to take her out the following Saturday for a nature hike and photographing expedition. A year or so ago, I'd given Alicia a few of Susie's things. Things that were precious to Susie that I knew also meant a lot to Alicia. She hadn't expected it and had cried so hard that day, and I had such trouble keeping it together myself as it brought up a long conversation about Susie and how much we missed her. But I had kept a ring of Susie's in reserve and I had cleared it with Alicia to give to Anna today. Several years earlier, I'd bought a birthstone ring for Susie. Being born in March, it was a beautiful Aquamarine with a cluster of small diamonds surrounding it. It hadn't come cheap and it meant the world to me. Anna had always loved that ring, especially since she'd been born in March also. It was the perfect gift for her. When she had finished opening her box and within it all the other boxes with all the cool photography equipment inside, I handed her the ring. Anna's jaw dropped and she refused it steadily at first, but both Alicia and I told her it was hers now, and Susie would have wanted it that way. Both women boo-hoo'd, and it gave me great joy to see Anna's reaction to it as she put it on her finger. I'd planned ahead and had it sized to fit her after finding out her ring size from Alicia. It was the perfect end to a really bittersweet but wonderful day. Flirtations? Jim and Alicia had a beautiful pool in their back yard, and from just about any second story window at the back of my house, I had a pretty good view of it. On occasion I'd see them out there, swimming or sunning, and as the years went by, it was becoming more obvious where Anna got her looks from. Even though Alicia had allowed herself to get a little heavy over the years, she was aging very gracefully and was still a very handsome woman. Most of the time when I saw Alicia around the pool, it would bring back old memories of us all out there drinking and laughing, and I'd have to turn away from the window, feeling depressed and sorry for myself. Even now in my terrible loneliness, I would never hit on Jim's wife, even if I thought she wanted me to. I had always behaved myself completely with Alicia and always would. I can't ever remember lusting after Alicia, but she was very easy on the eyes. Sometimes though, Anna would swim by herself, and Anna was hard not to watch as she was so darn attractive. Sure, she was barely 16 now, but she was breathtaking in her bikini. I had to admit that I'd been paying more attention to her now we'd become best buddies, and I was always interested in catching a glimpse of her when she was swimming. These last 3 years had been very interesting, watching the changes that puberty had brought on for her. She had graceful hips and the flattest belly, and long, shapely legs and not the normal skin-and-bone legs of a gangly teenager. I realized that I was becoming attracted to her now, and I felt horribly guilty about that, but she was so difficult to resist watching. Lately though (and mostly it had started this past year or two), I had been getting the feeling that Anna knew I was watching her, and not just while she was at the pool. And for her part, I often caught her looking at me when she thought I wouldn't notice, and I noticed that was happening more frequently as she got older. Anna was always coming over unannounced with some message from her parents (which was happening a lot more frequently now), or to borrow something from my studio. But lately it was just to come over with no particular reason in mind. And before, she used to knock and wait on me to come to the door, but now she knocked then came right in calling out for me. And now she was much more inclined to just hang out with me with seemingly no purpose in mind. It seemed to me like she just wanted to be near me and the house. At first I'd chalked it up to her missing Susie so much that she was trying to stay in touch with her that way or something, but as time went on, I started to get the feeling it was more about her wanting to be near me. Another thing I'd noticed that really stood out was that she'd become more curious about my private life and any recent dates I'd been on. I noticed that if I admitted that I'd had a good time on a date or liked a gal I'd seen that she seemed a little miffed about it, and she would try to ask enough questions in order to find a flaw in the date and then caution me about that flaw. At first I thought that was cute, and then I chalked it up to her being protective, but then I realized there was more to it than that as it happened with every date I'd had. With her questioning, she'd managed to find something wrong with every woman I'd dated. Conversely, when I didn't care for a woman I'd dated and she knew I wouldn't be seeing her again, she seemed happy about that and would immediately stop asking questions about that particular date. In fact, if I'd been out on a date over a Friday or a Saturday night, Anna would be at my door early the next morning. I began to realize that she was worrying that my date might have spent the night with me, as the look of relief on her face was quite obvious. And there'd always be a big hug and a light kiss on those mornings. Since I'd lost Susie, I'd never had a date spend the night. Partly because it never felt right to me to do so, but also partly because somehow I knew it would have broken Anna's heart to see a woman there the morning after. It was strange the way my mind was working now. There was a part of me that missed and wanted sex badly, but I think I worried more about Anna's heart than my own needs now. Then when the pool became warm enough for swimming again, I noticed that she was out there a lot more alone than she had been in past years. Since I worked out of my house for the software company, I was almost always home - if I wasn't out on a photo shoot somewhere. My office as well as my bedroom was on the second floor and it faced their pool, and she knew that. I began to notice that she would make a lot of noise when she first got outside, as if she was announcing her presence to me. And I saw that she'd moved a chaise lounge chair so that it was always visible from my upstairs window. I also noticed that she was looking over at my windows a lot while she was outside, and I was even getting the distinct impression that behind the sunglasses she wore that she knew I was watching her. I?d also gotten the impression that she wanted me to watch. To test my theory, one evening when her folks were gone, I turned my office light on and opened my blinds a little so I was easily seen from their house if I was walking around my office. Predictably, Anna came out in her black bikini and spread her towel out on her lounge chair, but not without looking up at my window first. Since it was evening, she wasn't wearing any sunglasses and I clearly saw her studying my window. She casually walked over to the pool, dipping her long leg into the water. Anna walked down the steps into the pool then right back out, her white skin glistening. It was cool this evening and she immediately made for her towel, but as she bent from the waist to get it, giving me a look at the back of her legs and her derriŠre, she looked sideways right back up at my office for a long second and only then slowly straightened up and wrapped her towel around her waist. As she approached the french doors at the back of their house, she reached up behind herself and untied her bikini top, then opened the door and went in. This was something she'd never done before! And as she turned to close the door, she allowed me just the briefest glimpse of the side of a very beautiful breast and a large dark aureola before she walked further into the house and was lost to my sight. I was shocked by what had just happened. For 16 years now, this girl had been like a daughter to me but now it looked like she had been trying to seduce me! And the more I thought about it, I recognized that this was part of a distinct pattern that had been emerging over the past 2 years. I had to admit it; she had turned me on. I felt guilty as hell about that, but I just couldn't look away when she was at the pool. She was beautiful, and what's more, she seemed like she was using her body and looks in a calculated way to...to do what? Tease me? To be sure, this was teasing, but it was more than that. I knew Anna well enough to know she wouldn't act like this without a reason, so it wasn't teasing so much as it was something more. Was it just a schoolgirl flirting with me because of a crush she had? I doubted that as well. Anna was more mature than probably any girl her age and she was very in touch with herself. And she'd known me too long and too well to have just a simple crush on me. Oh, shit! Was this her way of slowly trying to attract me to her? Was she letting me know she was interested in me in a different way now because she was becoming a woman? Of all the things it could be and the reasons why I was seeing all these changes in her, this last theory seemed the most plausible. How in the world was I going to handle this? And what the hell would Jim and Alicia think? As I fell asleep that night, I decided maybe my emotions had gotten the better of me and that maybe it was just a crush or maybe I was just imagining things. By the time had my first cup of coffee the next morning, things were starting to look clearer to me. Anna had been progressively more talkative with me and our conversations were longer and of a more personal nature now. Anna had begun to flirt in very subtle ways with me now, and she was very careful and self- controlled when it came to doing anything that might be construed as sexual or too overt. And she'd gotten more physical with me over the last two years as well, but again, in very subtle ways. She always gave me a light kiss hello or goodbye now, and there were the frequent hugs, which were becoming more like adult hugs than those sideways 'kid hugs' that all of us have given or gotten. And there was the choice of clothing when she'd come over to see me. She wore respectable clothes when helping me in the studio or while at a photo shoot, but when I was alone at home, her choice of clothing was becoming a little more, well, provocative. And the more I thought about that, the more I realized it wasn't just coincidence. I began to feel like it was more by design. And then there was last night at the pool. She didn't act or look like a schoolgirl last night at the pool. She had acted like a full grown woman who was trying to seduce me. Time Passes As the weeks went by, I spent more time with Anna than I ever had before. I had payed her $7 an hour when she first started helping me in the studio, but after two years now, she was up to $10 and it was worth every penny to me, and it was cash under the table for her. But here it was summertime and she ought to be dating and enjoying her freedom and her friends, but from what I could tell she would rather be spending time with me. She didn't date, she didn't do sleepovers with girlfriends, and she didn't ask to just go out with friends, girl or boy, just to hang out. She was with me. And since I didn't have a regular 9 to 5 like most guys, I was always home, too. I was paying a lot more attention to her now than I ever had, and I noticed that her shorts seemed to be shorter now and she'd even started coming over without a bra on, but only when she knew I wasn't doing a photo shoot in my home studio. And she was swimming almost every day now, trying to tan and from the looks of it, trying to get my attention, which she had anyway. And while she was at the pool, there was never anything overtly slutty or sexual about her actions, but she was so damn sensual! Languid and long, slow moving, offering me views of her backside and those long legs and then sunning with no top on, but never showing me anything but a quick side view. And when she did that, it seemed she would take her top off so sensually. It was so erotic sometimes, and I found that her image was in my mind all day long now. I even noticed that she would smile occasionally when she was doing it, like she knew the effect it must be having on me. I don't need to tell you how many times I questioned myself and where my thoughts were heading. But I always came back to that same theory. I really was left with no theory that explained any of it except that Anna was in love with me, and she was trying to figure out how to show it with everything she did. I realized that sooner or later I was going to have to broach this subject with Alicia, and that made me feel even worse. The summer passed and then fall turned to winter. Well...as much winter as we get here in California, anyway. I found I really missed those pool days, but at least with Anna back in school, I was able to get more work done for the software company. Christmas came and went, and just like that, winter was over and March was coming up again and Anna would be turning 17 now. It seemed impossible to me that she could already be seventeen. It made me feel old, somehow. A lot of things had changed in this past year. I was feeling stronger now and could make it for weeks sometimes without breaking down for remembering those days with Susie. Oh, I thought about Susie multiple times a day, but they were warm thoughts now and the horrible shock of loss was just about gone, replaced by a sharp ache. I realized that's when the real healing can begin, but that in itself made me sad as I also realized that I was beginning to miss her a little less with each passing month. I knew Anna's presence in my life was a big part of my healing as well, and I realized more every day how much I loved Anna, but it was a heartbreaking love, because I could never let myself believe that anything would ever come from it. After all, how could it? She was half my age and had her whole life ahead of her yet, while mine was already half-way over, and I was an old man already. Or at least I felt old most days now. Old before my time from such a great loss at too early an age. I had always loved her as my own daughter, well...goddaughter, but I realized that my heart was getting involved now in a completely different way. I tried like hell to never let it show, nor did I do anything with those feelings, but they were my constant companion now. I just kept them to myself, deep inside my heart, and basked in the warmth and comfort they gave me. But it was torture, all the same. I had bought Anna an expensive hybrid mountain bike for Christmas, which she took everywhere she went now. Now for her upcoming 17th birthday, I bought her an expensive watch and some additional camera gear that she had been hinting about for several months. One thing I really appreciated about Jim and Alicia was that they never begrudged me buying Anna expensive gifts. They never went overboard with her and I understood and appreciated that philosophy in them, but for me, I was granted a slight pardon from that policy. Hell, I had already changed my will to leave it all to her when I died anyway...unless I remarried one day, which didn't seem likely the way things were looking right now. And besides, I loved to give her those gifts. It thrilled me to no end to give her nice things and then see the appreciation in her eyes. She never took me or my gifts for granted, and that made it all the easier for me to want to give her nice things. When I showed up at Jim and Alicia's front door, Anna came running to greet me and threw her arms around me and gave me a respectable peck on the lips. "Hi, Steve!" she grinned with that amazing smile she seemed to keep just for me. My heart pitty-patted like a damn teenagers. My hands on her waist briefly, I smiled and replied "hello, darlin!" "Where's my birthday surprise?" she looked up at me and smiled devilishly. "Today's your birthday?" I acted shocked. "Steve!" she said. "You do this every year to me!" she giggled. "Heck, I just gave you a great bike at Christmas three months ago! What more do you want?" I said smiling and teasing her, enjoying our physical nearness. "Oh, I want lots more!" she said quietly, smiling, then she tip-toed up and kissed me again, another light peck on the lips. It was a comment laced with hidden meanings, and I'm pretty sure she'd meant it that way. My heart and brain stopped working for a second there. Did she just say what I thought she'd said? And was it just my imagination, or did she mean it the way I wondered she had meant it? Because I knew she wasn't talking about material things. Anna just wasn't wired that way. We joined Jim and Alicia in the kitchen and had wine while we waited on dinner to come out of the oven. Alicia was a marvelous cook and could throw an old tire in the oven and create a fantastic dinner out of it. Tonight, it was to be a standing rib roast with all the trimmings and Alicia knew how much I loved her roasts. Since Susie had passed, I'd taken to buying expensive cuts of meats for Alicia to cook for all of us or for Jim and me to grill. At first, Alicia had gotten upset with me for doing that, but admitted that they loved the extravagance of it, too. Tonight's rib roast was another one of my 'dinner gifts' to the family that I truly loved to do for them. "I imagine that Anna's all 'gifted-out' right now after her big party!" I said suggestively, winking at Jim. "I would think she wants to wait until after dinner to open her presents from us, don't you think, guys?" Both of them jumped on that, but Anna wasn't having any of it. "I can see by Mom's timer we still have almost 30 minutes before the roast comes out, and then it needs to sit for another 15 minutes." That was all she said, then she smiled sweetly at us. We laughed. "They're in the pantry, sweetie!" Alicia said with a wave of her hand. Anna squealed as she trotted over to the small walk-in pantry and opened the bi-fold doors. She came back with her hands full. "Jackpot!" was all she said, wearing a big grin. When it came time for my presents, I had her open the camera stuff first. A new macro lens and a good tripod with a ball-head, plus a 'designer' strap for her camera. She was so excited about them, and hugged me and kissed my cheek. Then I gave her the small box that she hadn't seen before with the watch in it. Her eyes got big and when she opened it up, they misted over a little. "Oh, Steve!" she said. "I love it!" she got up and leaned over to hug me again and kissed me on the cheek again. I noticed that she'd kiss my cheek in front of her parents, but on the lips when we were alone...which I took as another sign of her feelings. I'd hit it out of the park with my gifts once again. As expected, dinner was fantastic, and the wine was getting to my head by the end of the night. We talked until after 10, and then I made my adieu's and of course Anna wanted to show me out. After a nice hug from Alicia and a hearty handshake and a big smile from Jim, I went to their back door to let myself out, just like I'd done a thousand times before. Anna walked me outside and thanked me again for the gifts. She seemed reluctant to let me walk away, so I stood there in their patio lights watching her face. Her eyes were wet as she talked briefly with me. "I missed Susie tonight," she said quietly, and I nodded. "But I'm so thankful to have you in my life, Steve." She came to me then, up on her toes. I bent down to hug her. This time when it came for my usual good night kiss, however, it wasn't a peck. It was a soft kiss that lingered on my lips for a moment longer than a peck. It felt like a lover's kiss, and it made my knees weak. It was only after she backed away that I noticed that her arms were around my neck. And then I realized that I had my hands holding her waist to me in a more intimate way also. Oh, shit! What was I doing! She smiled up at me, that big warm smile, and her eyes became inscrutable for a moment, thinking her deep dark secret thoughts as she searched my soul. If she could really read my mind at moments like that, she must have realized that I was crazy about her, too. Her smile became even warmer then, and she slowly brought her hands from around my neck, letting her fingers graze the side of my neck. Still, I held her tiny waist, unable to effectively communicate with them and get them to let go of her. Finally when her hands came free of me, I reluctantly removed mine as well and we stood there just smiling at each other. "Happy seventeenth, my lovely lady" I said into her eyes. She smiled so wonderfully at me then. "Thank you for being here, Steve. And thank you for my beautiful watch. I love it." She paused then, looking deep into my eyes, "And I love you. Steve" she whispered. I looked into her eyes then. "I love you too, Anna" I said. That exchange was unlike any other time we'd said 'I love you'to each other. Totally unlike any other time. And we both knew it. We could see it in each other's eyes. I grabbed her hands for a second, holding them fast in mine, then I kissed the back of her hands then let go and walked to their gate and went home. I wanted so badly to run back and take her in my arms and give her a real kiss, but then the madness left me and I realized that what I wished for, could never be and for the first time I felt really sad about our relationship. Terribly sad. Saturday Morning Talk The next day was Saturday and it was my custom whenever possible to share morning coffee with Jim and Alicia. The weather was unusually nice and Anna had gone out for a ride on her bicycle. Alicia said she couldn't wait to show off her watch to a friend or two and would likely be gone till after lunch. Jim was in and out of the house, working on his lawn mower. Jim always got ready for spring early with his mower and yard equipment. He was a stickler for that and for keeping his yard immaculate. He wouldn't take my help, and told me to enjoy my morning coffee with Alicia so it was just the two of us. All of a sudden I was at a loss for words, as thoughts of Anna and the emotions that overtook me last night came back into my mind and I began to feel horribly guilty. I had to think of something to say... "I guess Anna liked her gifts, then?" I said lamely. "Oh, Steve! You know you could have given her a $10 watch and she'd have been thrilled with it. The fact that it came from you is what makes her happy!" she said. "Yeah? I guess you're right" I added lamely. Again. "Have you noticed that she doesn't call you "Uncle Stevie" or "Uncle Steve" anymore?" she asked. "Yeah. I've notice a lot of changes in her recently" I said before I knew what I was saying. Oh, shit. What a dumbass! She filled my cup again then sat down across from me with hers. "She loves you, you know," she said quietly, then took a sip. "I know, and I know she misses Susie a lot, too" I said, wanting somehow to change the subject. "We all miss Susie, Steve...but...that's not what I'm saying," she added mysteriously. I looked up from my coffee then, into her eyes. "I'm telling you that she loves you" she said again. "Well...and I love her too, Alicia!" I returned. "I always have and always will!" "No, Steven. That's not what I'm saying," she insisted gently, smiling at me. She rarely called me Steven and it got my attention. "Anna's in love with you, Steve." There. She'd said it. And there was no place for me to hide under her gaze. I paused, then I stammered. "I...uh...well...I was afraid of that, Alicia" I confessed. "And...I guess I've...wondered about it for a while now. I can see it in everything she does for me and with me." "So you haven't done anything about it yet?" she asked me gently. I was shocked. My mouth dropped. "Oh my God, Alicia!" I gasped. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" "I'm only asking, Steve" she said, putting her hand up in a gesture of peace. "You're a man and she's...well...let's face it, she's more of a woman already than most girls will ever be." "I'm her godfather, Alicia, for crying out loud!" I said defensively. "I'm practically family! I've known her since the day you had her. Hell, I've changed her diapers and wiped her butt when she was learning to potty train!" I was really reaching now, and I'd run out of things to say. Then more quietly I added; "and I'm twice her age, Alicia" and I knew she could hear the heartbreak in my voice then. She smiled and chuckled. "I'm not mad at you, Steve! Slow down, hon!" she said apologetically. "I'm just telling you what I already know," she said knowingly. "What do you mean," I said quietly. "Already know what?" "You think she and I don't talk? You think I don't see the way she is around you? You think I don't hear the tone in her voice when she talks about you? I may be getting older, but I'm not blind, and I'll never forget what it feels like to fall in love. I'm telling you, Steve, I know!" she said emphatically. "And so after seeing all the classic signs now for over two years, I finally talked with her about it" she added. "You did what?" I asked, looking around frantically to see if we were still alone. "I talked with her about her feelings, Steve," she said matter-of-factly. It may come as a surprise to you that Anna and I talk, but we do talk... about a lot of things! We always have. We're both very open and honest with each other and we always have been," she added. "And I've always been very thankful for that and careful not to abuse the privilege with her!" When I didn't say anything, she went on. "When I first started to notice the little things, I chalked it up to a crush." I began to nod slowly. She saw that. "I see you did too, then." It wasn't a question. "I understand about school girl crushes, Steve. I've been heartbroken by a couple of them in my early years," she smiled sadly, wistfully. "So...I started watching her more closely, then. I didn't want her to get hurt." She held up her hand again when I meant to say I'd never hurt her. "Not hurt like that, hon. I know you would never ever hurt her! I was worried she'd be devastated if she eventually found out you didn't feel the same way. But then...I began to notice that it was more than that, and then last night I saw the way you two were on the patio together." I started to speak and she waved me off. "I'm not mad at you, Steve!" she said quickly. "And I'm not disappointed in you, either" she added. "There are two things I want for her and for you. I don't ever want her to get hurt, and I don't want for you to get hurt either." I didn't know what to say, and I told her so. "Do you love her, Steve?" I knew what she was asking and I looked back at my coffee, not able to look her in the eyes. She gave me time to answer. "God help me, Alicia, I think I do" I answered quietly and as honestly as I could. There were tears in my eyes then. "But what would Susie think! And what must you and Jim think!" I felt so ashamed. "Jim and I have talked about it and we both want the same thing" she said. "And Susie's dead, Steve. And she's never coming back" she said decisively and strongly. "And she'd want you to move on, honey." That struck me hard and I couldn't speak for a while. It was like a cold slap in the face, but one I knew she knew I needed at that moment. I knew she would hear me swallow hard then, as I took in what she said. She was right, and it was what I'd been trying to tell myself for four years now. Then I thought back to what she'd just said. "What did you just mean...that you and Jim both want the same thing?" I asked. "Jim and I both love you, Steve. Hell, if Jim were to die, I'd eventually come calling to your door. I could see me doing that, and Jim's already said that's what he'd want me to do." I was shocked. It seemed like that was happening a lot this morning. "You're nothing if not a good, no...a great guy, Steve. A good and true man. One of a dying breed...you and Jim. A truthful, honest, loyal and loving man. The truest friend we've ever had or ever will have! You've never made a pass at me or given me any reason to think there was an open door there with you...either before or after Susie died. You've always treated Anna with the deepest respect and love and we both know in our hearts that you would rather die than hurt her." I was nodding. Everything she said was true and we both knew it, and now the tears were rolling down my cheeks. "And all three of us love Anna and would give our lives for hers" she went on, undeterred by my tears. "And we all want what's best for her," and she paused for a moment. "And being a women, Steve, I know what a woman's heart is like, once it's made up its mind. And her heart knows what it wants, Steve." I looked up at her, then unable to meet her eyes for shame I looked back down at my hands. "From what you've told me and what I've seen so far, you have nothing to be ashamed of, Steve." She reached across the table and took my hand. The damn woman could read my mind! First her daughter, and now her! "Besides, Anna's told me there's been no sex of any kind yet between you two," she added, skillfully dropping that bomb. My mouth opened, but nothing came out. "I asked her how far it had gotten," she said matter- of-factly, shrugging. "When Anna told me how she felt about you - and believe me - she told me in great detail and very succinctly how she feels about you - that was the next logical question for me to ask." Then she paused. "Especially when she told me how she tried to get your attention at the pool this summer!" and she grinned at having had that bomb in her arsenal to drop on me, as well. I think she enjoyed that one a little too much. My jaw dropped, and once again her hand came up and she smiled at me. "She is a beautiful creature, Steven, and you would have to be gay not to look," she offered nicely. "I have to admit I thought that was a little forward of her, but she was trying to figure out where you stood. And since you were being your normal chivalrous self, and completely behaving yourself where she was concerned, she resorted to...well...more drastic measures, shall we say." She smiled in spite of the pain I knew she could see in my face. I still didn't know what to say. "But seriously now, she's getting to that point where she wants to be with you and when that time comes, you'd better be ready and you'd better already have decided which way you'll go. That won't be the time for last-minute decisions then, hon," she said with utmost seriousness. "Or for going by the thoughts of your 'little head' either." She added quietly. I looked at her then and made to speak, but she went on. "Because if you let it go that far and then turn her down, you'll break her heart. Or if you let it go that far and your intimacy isn't centered on your undying love for her, you'll break her heart. Either way, she'll die inside, because that's how much she loves you." "But she's only seventeen, Alicia" I said helplessly. "And I'm twice her age!" "You're only that far apart right now, Steve. But when your 60, she'll be in her mid-forties." "What are you saying, Alicia?" I asked slowly. "I'm saying that if you don't love my daughter like that, or if you can't see yourself loving her and her alone for the rest of your life, you need to recognize that and tell her yourself, and you need to do it soon. But let her down gently, Steve. Above all else, let her down gently. But you'd better be darn sure when you do it, because I doubt you'll ever find another woman more in love with you or more worthy to be loved." "But how...how can you and Jim even allow this?" I asked. She paused then, gathering her thoughts. "Have you taken any notice of the younger male population these days, Steve? Well, I can tell you that Jim and I have, and Anna has too, and it's a damn scary thing. It's slim pickings out there. And when we stack up any boy or man we've ever known against you, Steve, they all fall way short. We know you love her. Hell, Steve...I've known that you love her for going on a year now! I can see it in your eyes, man! The question is do you know it yourself? Are you willing to admit it to yourself? And then finally, do you really...and truly...love her, or is it more lust? Because know this, Steven. If you take her body, but you don't have her best interests at heart in all this...if you can't put her needs above yours and love her for the rest of your days...then you will break her heart, and in turn you'll break Jim's and mine." I was still too shocked to speak. "We've known you for a long time, Steve. We've seen you at your best and your worst. We saw your love for Susie, how you treated her and your marriage, and then how you've agonized over her loss. I've spent many an hour one-on-one with you, and I've talked more with you than I have with any other man except for Jim. Hell, I've talked more to you than I have to my own father in my 34 years! My point is this... I know your mind as well as anyone, and I'm pretty sure I know your heart. I know you, Steven. We've watched how you've helped us raise Anna into something any parent would kill for...no, don't stop me...and we want you to know that if you proceed with this, you do so with blessings. Because we know that if you truly love her, you will always treasure and love Anna the way she deserves to be. Either way this proceeds, I know in my heart that you will do what's best for Anna first, thinking of yourself only as a distant second, or maybe even third behind Jim and me. We both have come to the inescapable conclusion that it couldn't be a better situation for our daughter if you take her for your own." I hung my head then, and I was silent as the tears continued to fall from my face onto the table. She was silent, then but got up abruptly coming over to me and kneeling beside my chair. "Oh, Steve!" she said softly. "What is it?" she asked. I just shook my head. "Do you still miss Susie that much? Do you not love Anna like that? Are you afraid you won't be able to in the long run?" She paused and I was still silent. She put her arm around me and whispered, "tell me, darling!" She sounded like a most-loving mother talking to her son then... or a most-loving mother-in-law. "Oh, Alicia!" I said through my silent tears. She kneeled there and waited, rubbing my back. "I hardly know what to say" I said finally. "You two...how do I tell you what you've meant to me and Susie over the years and now to me with her gone?" I said. "You don't need to, baby!" she said quietly. "Because we've known that all along! We know it because we feel the same way about you, Steve!" I looked up at her then through tearful eyes and threw my arms around her. "Oh, Alicia!" I said again. "I couldn't ask for better friends, and I love you both so very much!" I looked into her eyes. "And as to what you said earlier...well...I would love you and take you for my own if it came to that because I've always loved you!" Now it was her turn to be startled and I saw tears come to her eyes. She kissed me then, and I returned it heartily. It was the first and last time we ever kissed like that and it made my heart stop and I felt the blood rush to my cock for a second. And when we parted, we both looked surprised and embarrassed. "Oh, wow!" I exclaimed softly. "Yes, wow!" she said, smiling demurely, then she wiped her lip with her thumb and stood up to put distance between us. I never looked at Alicia the same after that, and I always wondered what it would have been like for us should we have been forced by circumstance to come together. I waited for her to return from the kitchen with bagels and more coffee before speaking again. "I can't imagine what Jim must think of me," I said quietly. "I suddenly feel like such a dirty old man." "Dirty old men only have their own interests in mind, Steven. And it's usually about their sexual gratification and they don't care who gets hurt as long as they get what they want. Does that sound like the kind of person you are? Because it doesn't sound like you to me!" She said, backing me down very quickly. I couldn't look at her, but then she continued more softly. "Jim and I don't always think alike, Steve...but in this we agree. In all that I've said to you...we agree," she replied. "Alicia...I'm..." I was stammering for the words. "I just don't know about this. I mean, I would feel so weird, I think. So guilty. I mean...she's your daughter for crying out loud. She's my daughter...in a manner of speaking." "We suspected you would feel that way, and between that and the age difference, we felt like one or both of those things would cause you to stay away." She paused. "Steven" she said, using the longer form of my name again and causing me to look up at her. "When Anna and I first talked, I knew it would come to this, and this has been my biggest fear. That you will want to move away to avoid being near her and thus we all lose. No...hear me out..." she went on. "And both Jim and I fear that almost as much as if we were to lose Anna. We would rather have you as a beloved friend and...a much loved son-in-law...one day if that happens, than to lose you and potentially lose Anna. And we'd rather have you for that son-in-law than a million other boys out there, who will likely only break her heart in the end." I sat and took all that in, and believe me...it was a lot to take in. "And there's one more very important thing for you to remember and never, ever forget in all this" she said. I looked up at her. "When you said you would feel guilty, or like a letch, or like a 'dirty old man' or whatever your morals would try to tell you what you are, you must remember this..." she paused, "it wasn't you who started this or instigated it, or brought it on any of us, and you certainly weren't trying to seduce Anna or turn her heart toward you. It was her that started it...or rather her heart that brought this about. And the heart knows what it wants, Steven" she said. "This has all been Anna's emotions, Anna's heart, and Anna's mind that has brought this all on. And not you. We all know that, and we know it for a fact. Most of all, Anna knows it. And she's scared to death about it." What? "Why?" I asked, concerned. Then it hit me. "She knew you and I were going to have this talk, didn't she?" I said. She nodded. "Yes, but not when we would have it." I paused, thinking. "And she's terrified that I don't, or won't...or can't...feel the same way for her...isn't she?" I said tentatively, feeling this out as I went. She just looked at me. "What an awesome fucking responsibility" I mused out loud. She snorted, then smiled at me. "I have tried to put myself in your shoes many times when I was trying to figure out how to talk about all this with you, but I just couldn't do it," she admitted, shaking her head. "I just couldn't put myself in your shoes or your head, and I really went into this blind, not knowing what to expect. Hell, Steve, I went from wanting to wish it away to wanting to just let whatever happens, happen. But in the end, I knew you and I needed to talk. If there's to be any chance for success here, you and I had to talk." I nodded, understanding much more now. "Why don't you go on outside and talk to Jim," she offered quietly, putting her hand on my arm. I made to protest, but she butt in. "Remember, hon, it was Anna who brought this all up, and Jim knows you did nothing to start it all. There's a big difference in that, and it's all in your favor when it comes to how he and I see you." She paused, then walked over to me, making me look her in the eye. "Truth be told, Steven, he's scared to death he's going to lose you in all this. Because of all this. And he'd rather have you as his best friend and his son-in-law, than to lose what you two have and see his daughter hurt badly in the process." I just stood there, staring at her. "I always knew you were a remarkable woman, Alicia, but it turns out I've greatly underestimated you all these years." I paused. "Jim is the luckiest man I know. You are the best wife and the finest woman I've ever known. Jim chose wisely, and I'm proud to have you for my...well...my closest and dearest friend." I paused. "And no matter what happens from here on out, just know that I love you and I have the utmost respect and admiration for you. I will always love you, Alicia." This took hold of her someplace deep inside and she looked at me differently then in that moment with us two alone in the kitchen. Our eyes spoke volumes in those seconds before I turned and went outside to find Jim. And from then on Alicia and I shared something new and even more profound than we had in all the years leading up to that moment. Jim was pretty much the same as Alicia had been, and it was weird because we both felt like we were walking on eggshells. But whereas Alicia's talk centered more on the heart and on emotions, Jim was more pragmatic about it all. As soon as I was in the garage he went to his fridge out there and pulled out a couple of beers for us. "Yeah, I know it's only noon, but who cares, right?" he'd said. "I'm sure you could used something stronger right now, but this is all I've got out here!" He laughed nervously. In the end, Jim confirmed what Alicia had said. He didn't want to lose me as his friend, and if me and Anna ended up together, he just wanted me to take the best possible care of her that I could. He admitted that he and Alicia took a fair measure of comfort in knowing my financial situation was set and Jim admitted that he worried about that with Anna's future almost as much as how her heart was faring in a relationship. I could understand that. Between the two of them, I got a well-rounded version of how they really felt about me, about Anna, about us as an extended family, and about me and Anna as a couple. We talked for about an hour, then we hugged and for the first time in a long time, Jim told me he loved me, and I told him the same, and there were tears in both of our eyes as I walked back into the house. I went back inside and found Alicia in the kitchen, getting stuff out for the night's dinner. She looked at me and smiled hopefully. "Everything OK, honey?" she asked concerned. "It was just like you said, Alicia" I replied. "Jim and you are in agreement about this." "And so how does that make you feel now?" she asked quietly, stopping her work. I paused, breathing in deeply before replying. "Better... I suppose" I said tentatively. "But...?" she said. "Don't take my hesitation the wrong way, Alicia" I said. "I realize now that I truly do love Anna. God help, me Alicia, but I'm crazy about her! And I do want her in my life and I don't ever want to go through a day without her...or...without you guys either" I said sheepishly. "I need you all in my life and I can't bear to think of it being any other way!" I said emphatically. "So...?" she asked. I paused again, thinking. "Well, you've got to understand, this has been a whopper of a morning, sweetie, and my head is swimming! I've got so much to think about and I need to do this right! Above all..." I talked quieter now, as if to myself, "I need to do this right." She said nothing, but just watched me. "Would it be OK if I asked for your advice, Alicia?" I asked demurely. "Not at all, and I'd hoped you would, hon" she said. She walked around the corner and came out of the kitchen and pulled out a chair for me at their table. I took it and she sat down with me. "I do know several things that may help and which you need to remember, Steve," she started off. "Anna loves you with a strong and mature love. That may not seem possible for a young lady of only seventeen, but she's known you all her life and she sees the good in you and feels like she can handle the bad that comes your way. I've heard her bare her heart and soul to me, and her feelings are the real deal. It's not a crush, and it's certainly not lust. So if she knew you were committed to her and your relationship together, there's no end to how committed she would be to you. Remember that well, Steven. Also know that there are many, many women out there who fell in love at young ages, ages we think are way too young for something like marriage, and they stayed devoted until death took them from their husbands or their husbands from them at advanced ages. Remember that, too." I nodded, and kept my mouth shut. "Now, that being said, the ball - as they say - is more or less in your court now." She looked at me and took my hand in hers. "You must decide whether you can get over this uncomfortable feeling of not only what you think we may be thinking about all this, but you will also have to contend with what everyone else in the world will think when they know you are in love with a seventeen year-old girl." She went on. "And should you be able to conquer those fears, then you must decide - once and for all - if Anna is the right person for you. But I think I can say with some degree of certainty that she'll never break your heart and she'll be true to you. There. It's that easy, Steven. That is what you must do, but you must do it quickly now, as she will likely know that we've talked this morning." She saw the look in my face, then, and added; "Oh, don't worry, she won't know from us, but she will know, and then she will be watching and holding her precious breath until she knows what your answer will be." I nodded, more serious than I had been in a very long time, it seemed. "And one last piece of advice for you, and I mean this in love, Steven." she said. "I would not let things get any more physical than they are now until you've had your talk with her." "Oh, you can be sure of that, Alicia" I said carefully. "Where Anna's heart is involved, I will have the utmost care and concern." She stood up then. "You are coming to dinner tonight, right?" she asked sweetly, as though none of this had transpired today. I decided to respond in like manner. "The usual time?" I smiled. She came to me then. "Hug me before you go" she said, and we did, long and hard. As she walked me to her back door, she said one last thing. "Steven, I've known you a long time now, and I'd be hard pressed to remember a time when you disappointed me in all those years. And I want you to know that you did not in any way disappoint me today, either." Then she kissed me on the cheek. "See you in a couple of hours, hon" she smiled. Saturday Evening When I got home, I took a long shower and got cleaned up. I felt like I'd sweated bullets today, but they were emotional bullets. Big .45 Long Colt bullets! Needless to say, I was worn out, but my mind was still racing. The facts as I saw them were these... I loved Anna, of that there was no doubt. It was not a love born of lust or the physical, but one born of her whole person. I had spent hundreds if not thousands of hours in her presence. She was intelligent, intellectual, a gifted conversationalist, widely interested in many different things, she shared my love for photography, she was easy-going and unassuming, she loved to laugh and joke, but knew when to be serious. She was empathetic toward others, and had a good conscience and strong morals. In all the times I'd ever been around her, and just like Alicia had just told me earlier about myself, I'd be hard pressed to remember a time when Anna had disappointed me. And that's saying one hell of a lot about anybody, much less a 17 year-old. Add to this the fact that she came from great parents and I knew firsthand what her upbringing was like. She had a fantastic, happy, and nurturing childhood, which could only make her a better woman. Add to all of that the fact that Anna knew me better than anyone except for her parents, and she still loved me. And from what Alicia had said, it was a true and undying love, mature and bold. And then finally, there was the physical. And concerning that there was no doubt...I knew I would always find Anna enticing, exciting, and arousing. Her eyes set my heart on fire, and her touch stoked those fires even higher. Her voice lifted my spirits and her attitude kept them high. I loved her. I really did love her. And I knew then in that moment that I could love her as my lover and eventually my wife, and that I could live with whatever anyone might say against my right to do that. I had a job that allowed me to set my own hours, and as far as the income it provided me, I did not need it. I had well over $2 million in banks and investments, I had no debt, and I was able to live off my photography and software work, so I never had to touch a penny of my savings. So it was true that I never needed to work again or to even have to face the world if I didn't want to. And with Anna by my side, I could see us traveling until we wanted to settle down, and then pick and choose the spot we decided to retire at. And we could afford to move Jim and Alicia close to us and build a home for them as well, if need be. My mind was made up, then, and I decided to have my talk with Anna, and I was going to do it tonight. I felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders all of a sudden, and I actually smiled at myself as I shaved. Gone were the thoughts of being a "dirty old man" or worrying about what Jim and Alicia would think or do. I would spend a pleasant evening with them tonight and see how things went from there. Either way, I wanted to talk to her by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, and then we would lay bare the true secrets of each other's hearts. When I saw Anna that night for the first time, it was as she came to their back door to greet me. She clearly had been watching for my arrival, of that there was no doubt. It made my heart soar to see her, and this time I took her in my arms and hugged her to me and told her I had missed her today, then asked her how her day went. She said fine, but said she'd have rather spent it with me, to which I just smiled and said the same. As we approached the back door, I took hold of her arm and gently stopped her. She turned to look a me and I softly said; "you really very nice tonight, hon." Even in the evening light, I could see her blush. I could also see that she had spent time this afternoon fixing herself up and she really did look beautiful. She smiled so sweetly in response to my compliment, and then I added; "I could really use one of your wonderful kisses right now to set me right for the evening. Her eyes changed and got kind of dreamy and I thought she might have teared up a little as she leaned in to me. As she did and then kissed me lightly, I could smell her dainty soft smell and feel her hair just brush against my face. Her hand went into mine then, and her lips were softer than silk. It was then my feelings for her were confirmed yet again, and I could not help myself. "I love you, my Anna" I said softly. She fell into my arms then and I thought I heard her sigh, just like in the storybooks. She looked up at me then, as if second guessing whether all this was really happening or not, and so I put my hand under her chin and lifted her mouth to mine. We kissed long and hard then, and I know my heart stopped, as did time itself, and I drew her body to mine in a tight embrace. She became as soft and pliable in my arms as the most ardent lover would, and gave herself fully over to my kiss. This kiss was mine to to initiate - for the first time ever - and I know that wasn't lost on her. When we finally backed away from each other, there were tears rolling down her cheek. "Mom talked with you today, didn't she?" she asked tentatively. "I spoke with both of them, yes" I said. "And?" she said, more fearfully now. "I've had too much of heartache and loneliness these last few years, Anna. And to tell you the honest truth, besides for them, you are the only thing...the only person...that brings me any happiness or joy anymore. I was always trying to control myself when I was around you, Anna. I never wanted to cross a line with you and go beyond what you and I had always had with our 'family' relationship; because I felt way too guilty about my feelings toward you. But those feelings wouldn't let me rest, Anna, and instead of controlling them like I hoped I could, they ended up starting to control me. And then I felt like an old man trying to take advantage of a young beautiful girl." She started to say something, but I stopped her. "All I could think of was that Susie would be so disappointed in me, and then I'd lose the best and truest friends I've ever had in your Mom and Dad...and you...because if they knew the thoughts I'd been thinking about you, one or both of them would have killed me. But then I had to be honest with myself, especially today after I found out how your heart felt. Is it true, Anna. Do you love me?" "Yes, Steven, I do love you!" The tears were rolling down her cheeks. "Not like a godfather or as an uncle or an older brother even?" I asked quietly. "I have felt like that for much of my life, Steve, but it's become much more than that now." "So you could love me...as...a lover?" I asked. "Yes I could, and yes I do even now," she said. "I can't get close enough to you any more, baby. I need to be in your arms...and in your bed!" She blushed and had said that last part so shyly and quietly that it made my heart stop. It was a major confession, and it thrilled me to my core. And it had been the first time she used a strong term of endearment with me, and that rocked my soul, too. I paused and looked deep into her eyes. "Then I tell you now that I love you too, Anna. As a daughter I have never had, yes...but more. As a lover I only dreamed I could ever have, yes even more! And I want you for my own if you will have me for your own and your only, Anna Chambers." I said solemnly. She was weeping quietly now, listening to my speech. And through her tears, I heard her say, "you've been my one and only, Steven. Ever since I was old enough to love a man, you were that man my heart moved toward. I love you and I always will. I want you for my one and only also." We hugged again and kissed deeply, our tongues dancing joyously now. Hers were kisses I would never tire of. We stood like that a while, just holding each other while I told her how everything was going to be so fine and so right from now on, and that I would take care of her always. "Let's go in now, love, but let's try to keep this to ourselves for tonight. Tomorrow we'll talk more, or maybe later tonight after dinner, and then it will be time for us to talk to your parents about it. Dinner was fabulous and made even more so by the fire in Anna's eyes, which I could not stop looking into. It seemed torture to have to sit opposite her at the table and not be able to touch her, on top of having Jim and Alicia there at the table with us. When I looked at Alicia, there was no doubt that she figured out what had transpired between us outside a few minutes earlier, and her eyes were happy and moist. Jim was busy devouring his rib roast, and thanks to the meal being absolutely delicious, there was less need to talk since we were all stuffing our faces. After dinner coffee and dessert were wonderful as well, and although Anna and I offered to help clean up the table and the kitchen, Alicia told us no. Jim had retired to the living room, reading some manual that pertained to something with a gasoline engine. Alicia had a moment alone with me and asked; "you decided already, then?" she asked hopefully. I nodded and smiled at her. "It's all about her, Alicia. Everything is about her. You were right about it all. I can't deny what I know or what I feel. And now I know it's real." "You two go on over to your house. I think I need to get Jim upstairs tonight and screw his brains out!" she giggled. "Alicia!" I exclaimed quietly. "Methinks love is in the air tonight!" I said jokingly. It was very unlike her to speak so boldly, and I liked it. "Methinks you're right!" she smiled devilishly. She looked around quickly then gave me a peck on the lips. "Go" she said, and then she took my arm; "be good to my baby girl, Steven, and if she ends up spending the night, that will be OK with us." That took me back, and surprised me a lot. "I'll be good to her, Alicia" I said, looking her dead in the eyes. "For the rest of my life." Anna and I ran through the wet grass in the dim light over to my back door. We got inside and I shut the light of and there in the dim light of my kitchen, we kissed as lovers would for the first time ever. And it seemed as natural as if we'd been this way for years. Her mouth and her tongue were hot and hungry and so were mine. I broke away from her gently and said that I wanted to sit and talk for a while with her. I said there were things I wanted to hear from her and I knew she wanted to hear me talk about my feelings also. "Because if we don't do this now, I'll have you in my bed upstairs if you were willing, and then the time for talk will be long past." She nodded. "You are right, and of course I'd be willing!" She flashed that devilish smile of hers. I knew what she liked and poured us both a glass of wine. We went into the den and sat together on the love seat with only a dim light on across the room. We kicked off our shoes and got comfortable. I reached out and held her hand, our fingers intertwined. "I started to see the changes in you toward me, shortly after we lost Susie," I started off. "I wondered if it was a crush, but there were too many other things going on. Things you did and said. The way you looked at me. The way you treated me. I knew there was more there than a crush, but I was scared!" I admitted. "I wondered if it was a crush too...at first," she admitted. "But I kept coming back to the same feelings, and the same way of thinking and seeing things. I saw you, so tired and so hurt. And crying with you only made my heart break all the more for you. I wondered if it was pity, or just feeling sorry for you, but in time I realized it wasn't pity. I saw how much you loved her, and from that I knew you could love like that again. And when it came right down to it, I wanted it to be me that knew that love, and me who felt that love. And so I wanted to be there when you got better, and I wanted to be the one who helped you get better. And all along I was terrified, Steven, because I doubted that you would ever love me or at least be able to love me as a woman, and not your 'pseudo-daughter'. But it didn't matter, I had to do it. I had to try it. To see if my dreams could come true." "I remember you showing that fear on occasion!" She looked at me questioningly. "Every time I had a date, you wanted the particulars!" She smiled, remembering that. "And I noticed that if I seemed to like a particular date, you questioned me until I revealed or recalled something questionable, and then you would jump on that. And then you would seem so relieved when I wouldn't like a date. Then there all those Saturday or Sunday mornings when you'd come rushing over to see if my date from the night before was still there the next morning." I stopped then, thinking about that. "That must have been horrible for you, Anna" I said sympathetically. "It was, Steve. I died a little every time I knew you were out on a date. How I wished it was me who you wanted to be with, but here I was only 16 or so, and you were still looking at me like I was your daughter." "I'm sorry, baby," I whispered. "I have no idea what that must have been like for you." "Every morning that I ran over to your house to see if you were alone or not, I wondered what I'd do if you weren't alone, and it terrified me, but still I had to know, Steve." "I didn't ask them to stay the night, because it didn't feel right, but there was more to it than that, Anna. The closer I got to you, the less I wanted to be around other women, and I certainly wasn't looking for one night stands." "Anna..." I went on, but paused. "You know people will talk...about our age difference, I mean. And you know that will be hardest on you, especially as I grow older. Right now, I'm in the prime of my life, but when I'm 70, you'll be in your early 50's and there are a lot of reasons why that will be unfair to you. And then I'll probably worry that you'll want love and go looking for it elsewhere because I may not be able to provide it to you like you were used to." "Please don't borrow trouble, Steven!" She countered firmly. "Neither of us know how long we have. Who does? We may not live another year. You ought to know that better than anybody. And how do you know it won't be me that will be the one in ill health long before you are? The truth of the matter is that we could look for a million reasons why this may not be a good idea for either of us, but all I can see is a million reasons why it makes perfectly good sense!" I watched her face while she was talking. When she was done, I couldn't stand it any longer. I leaned in and grabbed her, pulling her over to me and kissing her deeply. "What makes you love me that much, Anna?" I asked, wonderingly. "I just do, Steven" she said. "You're gentle and kind, you're a loyal friend and you were so good to your wife all those years. And even I could see how much you loved her by how much you missed her after the accident. And you take the time with me. Time to talk, or just to be with me. You care about me and my feelings, and you never treat me with anything but kindness and respect. You treat me like a lady and not like a little girl. And I know you love me. I just know it. I feel it and I can see it. And so could Mom, and that really seemed to validate it for me." I sat there, taking it all in. She was truly an amazing girl...no...woman! I had always thought of her as a girl until recently, but now more than ever, I was forced to realized that Anna was indeed a woman, and maybe more centered and mature than most women ever get in their entire lives. "I love you, Anna" I said staring deep into her eyes. "I have loved you all my life, but with a respectful love a man has for a daughter he could never have. But now I have come to love you as an equal and as a woman. A woman that I don't want to be my daughter any more, but my wife and my lover and my best friend." She had tears in her eyes now. "Oh, Steven!" she whispered through her tears. "Do you think we could go upstairs now? I want you to make love to me, baby. I want you to be my first, and I want you to teach me how to please you and how to be a woman in the real sense of the word!" She was blushing profusely, and had a heart-wrenching pleading in her voice. "And you need to know that shortly after Mom and I started talking, she thought it would be best if I got on the pill...just in case." I hardly knew what to say. I stood up and offered my hand to her. She reached out and took it, and I pulled her up to me, kissing her long and hard. She melted into me then, returning the kiss with a ferocity I hadn't expected, then together, we walked up the stairs to begin our lives together. If you find you'd like to know what may have become of our characters after the events of this book, please let me know, and if there's enough interest, I'll share more of their lives together with you!