Author: Madame Ovary
Title: Anna and Me
Summary: Steven loses his wife, and later falls in 
love again with a much younger woman.
Keywords: nosex, Mf, rom



Steven loses his wife to a drunk driver, and later 
begins to fall in love with his best friend's daughter 
Anna.  But what he doesn't know is that Anna is 
already in love with him.  This is a poignant story of 
loss and then of finding true love again, and although 
there's no sex in it, this story begs for an erotic 
part 2.



Anna & Me
By Madame Ovary
March 2015






True Friendships, and Loss

Jim and Alicia Chambers had been my next-door 
neighbors for the past 10 years, but I had known Jim 
and been a part of his life since our college days.  
That's when we started hanging around and he and I had 
been the best of friends ever since.  I was best man 
at his and Alicia's wedding and I'd always loved her 
like a favorite sister.  They were truly good people 
and we were as close as friends and neighbors could 
get.  They'd had only one child, Anna, who was almost 
16 now.  When Anna was 7, Jim and Alicia asked me and 
my wife Susie if we'd consider being Anna's 
godparents.  I had talked it over with my wife at 
length and we finally agreed.  
Jim and Alicia had both grown up back east but had 
transplanted out here to California where they met in 
college. Both of them were only children and now Anna 
was an only child.  They'd talked the idea of 
guardianship over with their parents, whom Susie and I 
had met a couple of times over the years, and everyone 
on their side felt right about the whole 
godfather/godmother thing, and that had helped us make 
up our minds. 
The four of us were inseparable, always doing things 
together at either at their house or at ours, and 
since they lived directly behind us in our quiet 
little suburban neighborhood, it was a quick trip!  In 
fact, Jim and I had built a gate that allowed us to 
simply walk from one yard to the other.  
Susie and I had watched their daughter Anna for them 
countless times when they wanted to go out on their 
date nights or just needed a 'babysitter for her'.  We 
never once looked at it like we were being dumped on.  
We loved Anna like she was our own daughter and she 
loved us like the aunt and uncle she would never have.  
It wasn't unusual for Anna to spend the night with us 
to give Jim and Alicia a well-deserved break and in 
the early years, she'd climb right into bed with us 
and we'd all cuddle up together and read to her before 
lights out.  Anna became the child that Susie and I 
were not able to have and we felt truly blessed to 
have her in our lives.

I was a software engineer by trade and worked out of 
my house, but my favorite pastime and hobby was 
photography.  It had actually become more than a hobby 
for me over the years, and I had installed a small 
10x20 portable building out back just off the house 
for a studio and over the years had taken a lot of 
baby pictures, glamour shots, and school photos for 
people and their kids.  I'd taken just about every 
photo Jim and Alicia had in their house, and I did 
their family shots and Anna's school photos for them 
every year.  But my real love was nature and night 
photography.  Being in software, I knew enough about 
computers and electronics in general to be dangerous, 
so over the years I'd helped them set up their home 
network and home office, burglar alarm system, big 
screen TV and surround sound system, you name it. 
Jim had been in marketing since he graduated college 
but his first love was cars and he knew mechanical 
things inside and out, so I never had a problem with 
anything that had an engine in it.  For both families, 
it was a good melding of talents, and together Jim and 
I could figure almost anything out.  
But I think the best part about the four of us was 
that neither of us guys and neither of our wives were 
the kind to stray or get wandering eyes.  Jim and I 
would never, ever have thought about getting fresh 
with the other's wife, and the gals wouldn't have ever 
considered it with us guys.  We really were the best 
of friends.   

And then, three years ago I lost Susie in a car 
accident.  A drunk driver took her life away and in my 
bitterness I hired the best lawyer money could buy and 
I took his insurance company for everything I could 
get.  Between the ADD insurance and the lawsuit, I was 
comfortable enough that I'd never have to work again, 
but I lost the most precious thing I'd ever had in my 
life and no amount of money was ever going to help 
refill that hole in my soul.  Needless to say, I had 
some very dark months after losing Susie, just trying 
to sort out everything in my head.  I now had to learn 
how to live alone again without my best friend and 
help mate.  It was the hardest thing I've ever had to 
do, and I know I'll miss Susie till the day I die.  
When you lose a spouse and you have no children 
between you, you feel like you've lost everything, and 
in a way, I had. 
It affected Jim and Alicia horribly as well, and even 
through my grief I could see it had completely 
devastated them.  I felt bad enough for myself, but I 
felt terrible for them and their loss, and especially 
for Alicia.  She and I clung to each other in a new 
and more intense way after Susie was gone.  I think I 
was not only her friend, but I became Alicia's 
'earthly link' to her deceased best friend as well.  I 
accepted that role, and never forgot to be patient and 
loving to Alicia.  Jim in turn understood that, and so 
if we hugged longer or stayed up late talking or 
crying, he gave us our time.  In the end, it was good 
therapy for both of us.  
In any event, both of them were right there with me 
every step of the way after it happened.  For many 
weeks and months after the accident, they had me over 
to dinner at least 3 or 4 times a week, just to get me 
out of my empty house, and to keep an eye on my 
progress, too.  
Plus, we realized we needed to cling to each other 
even more after Susie's loss, and not become 
strangers.  Susie would never have wanted that and so 
it turned out that everything we did after that seemed 
to be guided by a single principle - what would Susie 
have wanted us to do?  I'm pretty sure I could have 
made it through that first year or so after the 
accident without them in my life, but it frightened me 
horribly to think what that would have been like, and 
the additional toll it would have taken on me.
Jim and Alicia never changed their minds about me 
being Anna's godfather after we lost Susie, and I only 
brought it up one time, about a year after the 
accident.  They both told me they still wanted it that 
way and besides, they told me they planned on being 
around for a very long time, and Susie would have 
wanted me to stay Anna's godfather, anyway.  We never 
brought it up again.



Anna

Jim and Alicia's daughter Anna was their pride and joy 
and she had been mine and Susie's as well, and we all 
knew that she was going to be someone special from a 
very early age.  Anna was very intelligent, and with 
two sets of parents to raise her, she was always 
learning something new and challenging.  We pushed her 
to be curious and to not believe everything she heard.  
We taught her to think for herself, and to ask 
intelligent questions, and the four of us gave her a 
wide variety of interests.  As a result, she was very 
precocious, and it was rare that you could hide 
something from her.  In conversation, Anna spoke as 
though she were years older than she was, and she was 
a joy to have around as a result.  She had never 
really been talked to as if she were a little child, 
nor did she want to be.  Mature and insightful, Anna 
was a gifted girl, but more than that, she had turned 
into a beautiful young lady.  
Anna at 15 was 5'6" and beautifully proportioned.  She 
had very dark hair and the most amazing blue eyes.  
Over the last two years, Anna had started to get her 
breasts and with only a month to go until she was 16, 
her body was already beautiful enough to give Jim some 
sleepless nights.  I know Jim and Alicia and I worried 
a lot about her and her affections, but Anna was 
unlike other girls her age and seemed to be in control 
of her hormones.  She and I had talked about boys 
quite a bit and she just couldn't see herself dating 
any boy her age as she felt they were such clods as 
she had put it.  I always came away from those 
conversations smiling at her wit and wisdom.
I've never known eyes like Anna's, and it wasn't just 
the blue color that was so startling about them.  When 
Anna looked at you, it was like she knew what you were 
thinking, and her gaze could be quite unnerving on 
occasion.  There were times when you would swear she'd 
read your mind and that she had you all figured out.  
Sometimes, I think I believed was true, and it would 
actually cause me to change what I had been thinking 
about!  Silly, I know, but still there was something 
about her eyes that never failed to startle or amaze 
me.  Between that and her natural unassuming beauty, 
her precocious and intelligent nature just kept you on 
your guard all the time, and yet you just always 
wanted to be around her all the same.

Prior to the accident, we two couples were over at 
each other's houses almost every day.  We visited so 
much that both couples had interrupted sex with the 
other couple from an unexpected visit on numerous 
occasions.  It was a joke between us and we never 
failed to laugh about 'being interrupted'.  But now 
with Susie gone, it was like more than a fourth of us 
was missing from the sum total, and we were just not 
the same anymore because of it. 
Then, after almost 2 years of being single, Alicia had 
begun talking with me about my desire to date again.  
After feeling me out about it, she asked if I would 
allow her to make a suggestion about a women she or 
Jim knew, and sometimes after asking a few questions 
about the gal they had in mind, I'd go through with 
it.  Sometimes though, I wouldn't.  I guess I just 
wasn't ready to date much, and I certainly wasn't 
ready to get serious again.

Anna stopped spending the night with Susie and me 
after the accident, and I missed those evenings of 
conversation, popcorn and movies, but I understood it, 
too.  She still came by regularly and over the first 
year or so after the accident, and we invariably spent 
a lot of time talking about the "old days".  I could 
tell she missed Susie tremendously, and I could also 
tell that she was terribly worried about me, which 
touched me greatly.  It seemed like Anna visited more 
often and stayed longer to make up for not spending 
the night, and I was grateful for that.  In the early 
months after the accident, there were several times 
where Anna had broken down in front of me, which 
caused me to cry with her.  There were a couple of 
times when she cried so hard that it scared me, but 
then I knew I had cried like that on numerous 
occasions and so had Alicia.  It was part of the 
healing process of having a dear one's life ripped 
away from you.  Still, it broke my heart terribly to 
see her sadness, but her deep-felt emotions made me 
love her all the more.
In many ways, Anna was still 'my baby girl' and she 
always would be, but she was starting to grow up, and 
with those changes she wasn't a baby anymore.  She was 
changing now in a lot of ways that were becoming very 
apparent to me.  
She clung to me more now than before.  I wasn't sure 
if she was scared of losing me now the way we'd lost 
Susie, or if it was something else.  I couldn't be 
sure, and of course I never brought it up.  I couldn't 
help noticing though, that over the last two years she 
was more apt to give me a big hug, or kiss me lightly 
on the lips, or just to reach out to touch me in some 
innocent way.  I also noticed that the inscrutable 
look she used to give me so often had begun to change 
and had softened.  There was something in her eyes now 
that was even more unnerving to me than worrying that 
she might know what I was thinking.  I couldn't put my 
finger on it, but it felt like more than just your 
average school-girl crush going on there.  And I'll 
admit that as she seemed to change, my thoughts and 
feelings toward her began to change and deepen as 
well.



A Birthday

Anna had shown an interest in my photography that 
first year after the accident, and so I asked her if 
she'd like to help me in my studio when I had clients 
over for photographs.  She was a fast learner, and it 
was gratifying to me that she wanted to learn it, 
especially since it was such a passion of mine.  Of 
course, she wasn't happy with just being a "girl 
friday" and wanted to know more about how I did things 
with the camera and why.
For her 15th birthday, I'd bought her a "point and 
shoot" camera, just to see if she would stick with it.  
In the meantime, I started teaching her how to post-
process photos using computer software and she proved 
to be a quick study there as well, and sometimes she 
had a better eye for detail than I did.  Now with her 
16th birthday coming up and her having stuck with the 
point and shoot and really taken some fine photos, I 
decided to buy a DSLR kit with two lenses and some 
other necessities to go with it.  I had asked Jim and 
Alicia about it first and they were OK with it.  We 
had seen how her interest in photography had grown 
into something real, and were glad she had that 
outlet.  She had even joined her high school 
photography club and I just knew that she wouldn't be 
satisfied until she was president of the club, and 
next year was her best chance at it since the current 
president was graduating from high school this coming 
May.
I had seen her interest grow until she was going on 
photo shoots with me to peoples houses or other 
locations.  She never minded carrying my equipment and 
helping me set up, and had even started to have some 
good ideas about where and how to shoot once we got on 
location, and she was great with the client's 
children, which was a big help to me.  I was always 
willing to listen to Anna and she beamed when I 
praised her, but she never pouted when I decided not 
to take her advice.  At those times, I would usually 
tell her why I hadn't, and it had helped her to better 
understand the choices I'd made.
Anna's sweet sixteen birthday party was bittersweet 
because of Susie's absence, but the four of us were 
slowly starting to get stronger, as time thankfully 
has a way of doing that.  The sadness never goes away, 
but the shock of the loss diminishes with time and 
somehow you find the strength to go on with your 
lives.  That's the strange part about a loss like 
that.  You start out taking it a second at a time, 
which eventually (and thankfully) becomes a day at a 
time.
After the party with her girlfriends at a local pizza 
parlor and I got the call from Alicia saying they were 
home, I went over right away for "our family party".  
I was in the kitchen with Jim and Alicia and Anna came 
in, putting her arms around my neck and looking me 
dead in the eye.
"So what did you get me for my birthday?" she asked 
quietly.  She smelled wonderful and her arms around me 
really felt nice.  I missed hugs and could never get 
enough of them now.
"To tell you the truth" I said, winking at Alicia, 
"I'd forgotten all about it until today!" 
"Liar!" she whispered in my ear.  She was flirting 
again, and I hated to admit it but it sent a tingle 
straight through me every time she did it.
"Look over there on the counter, babydoll" I said to 
her.
She squealed appropriately as she went over to get the 
box we all knew she'd been eyeing ever since she'd 
gotten home.  It was an ordinary cardboard shipping 
box that Alicia had wrapped for me, and there was a 
card on top of it with her name on it.
She brought it over to the kitchen table and sat next 
to me while she read her card.  I could see she was 
having problems reading the card as her eyes were 
filling up with tears and by the time she was done, 
the tears were rolling down her cheeks and then I was 
getting some really good hugs and salty kisses from 
her.  I had really opened up in that card to her, more 
than I ever had, and I'd told her in a long note how 
much she meant to me.  I was teared up by then and so 
was Alicia as we watched her face, but for me they 
were tears of sadness and of joy.  Sadness for the 
loss in our lives, but joy that these fine people and 
especially this wonderful young lady were in my life.
Needless to say, Anna was thrilled with the new camera 
and I had to promise to take her out the following 
Saturday for a nature hike and photographing 
expedition.

A year or so ago, I'd given Alicia a few of Susie's 
things.  Things that were precious to Susie that I 
knew also meant a lot to Alicia.  She hadn't expected 
it and had cried so hard that day, and I had such 
trouble keeping it together myself as it brought up a 
long conversation about Susie and how much we missed 
her.  But I had kept a ring of Susie's in reserve and 
I had cleared it with Alicia to give to Anna today.  
Several years earlier, I'd bought a birthstone ring 
for Susie.  Being born in March, it was a beautiful 
Aquamarine with a cluster of small diamonds 
surrounding it.  It hadn't come cheap and it meant the 
world to me.  Anna had always loved that ring, 
especially since she'd been born in March also.  It 
was the perfect gift for her.  When she had finished 
opening her box and within it all the other boxes with 
all the cool photography equipment inside, I handed 
her the ring.
Anna's jaw dropped and she refused it steadily at 
first, but both Alicia and I told her it was hers now, 
and Susie would have wanted it that way.  Both women 
boo-hoo'd, and it gave me great joy to see Anna's 
reaction to it as she put it on her finger.  I'd 
planned ahead and had it sized to fit her after 
finding out her ring size from Alicia.  It was the 
perfect end to a really bittersweet but wonderful day.



Flirtations?

Jim and Alicia had a beautiful pool in their back 
yard, and from just about any second story window at 
the back of my house, I had a pretty good view of it.  
On occasion I'd see them out there, swimming or 
sunning, and as the years went by, it was becoming 
more obvious where Anna got her looks from.  Even 
though Alicia had allowed herself to get a little 
heavy over the years, she was aging very gracefully 
and was still a very handsome woman.  Most of the time 
when I saw Alicia around the pool, it would bring back 
old memories of us all out there drinking and 
laughing, and I'd have to turn away from the window, 
feeling depressed and sorry for myself.  
Even now in my terrible loneliness, I would never hit 
on Jim's wife, even if I thought she wanted me to.  I 
had always behaved myself completely with Alicia and 
always would.  I can't ever remember lusting after 
Alicia, but she was very easy on the eyes.
Sometimes though, Anna would swim by herself, and Anna 
was hard not to watch as she was so darn attractive.  
Sure, she was barely 16 now, but she was breathtaking 
in her bikini.  I had to admit that I'd been paying 
more attention to her now we'd become best buddies, 
and I was always interested in catching a glimpse of 
her when she was swimming.  These last 3 years had 
been very interesting, watching the changes that 
puberty had brought on for her.  She had graceful hips 
and the flattest belly, and long, shapely legs and not 
the normal skin-and-bone legs of a gangly teenager.  I 
realized that I was becoming attracted to her now, and 
I felt horribly guilty about that, but she was so 
difficult to resist watching.
Lately though (and mostly it had started this past 
year or two), I had been getting the feeling that Anna 
knew I was watching her, and not just while she was at 
the pool.  And for her part, I often caught her 
looking at me when she thought I wouldn't notice, and 
I noticed that was happening more frequently as she 
got older.  Anna was always coming over unannounced 
with some message from her parents (which was 
happening a lot more frequently now), or to borrow 
something from my studio.   But lately it was just to 
come over with no particular reason in mind.  
And before, she used to knock and wait on me to come 
to the door, but now she knocked then came right in 
calling out for me.  And now she was much more 
inclined to just hang out with me with seemingly no 
purpose in mind.  It seemed to me like she just wanted 
to be near me and the house.  At first I'd chalked it 
up to her missing Susie so much that she was trying to 
stay in touch with her that way or something, but as 
time went on, I started to get the feeling it was more 
about her wanting to be near me.   
Another thing I'd noticed that really stood out was 
that she'd become more curious about my private life 
and any recent dates I'd been on.  I noticed that if I 
admitted that I'd had a good time on a date or liked a 
gal I'd seen that she seemed a little miffed about it, 
and she would try to ask enough questions in order to 
find a flaw in the date and then caution me about that 
flaw.  At first I thought that was cute, and then I 
chalked it up to her being protective, but then I 
realized there was more to it than that as it happened 
with every date I'd had.  With her questioning, she'd 
managed to find something wrong with every woman I'd 
dated.  Conversely, when I didn't care for a woman I'd 
dated and she knew I wouldn't be seeing her again, she 
seemed happy about that and would immediately stop 
asking questions about that particular date.  
In fact, if I'd been out on a date over a Friday or a 
Saturday night, Anna would be at my door early the 
next morning.  I began to realize that she was 
worrying that my date might have spent the night with 
me, as the look of relief on her face was quite 
obvious.  And there'd always be a big hug and a light 
kiss on those mornings.  Since I'd lost Susie, I'd 
never had a date spend the night.  Partly because it 
never felt right to me to do so, but also partly 
because somehow I knew it would have broken Anna's 
heart to see a woman there the morning after.  It was 
strange the way my mind was working now.  There was a 
part of me that missed and wanted sex badly, but I 
think I worried more about Anna's heart than my own 
needs now.

Then when the pool became warm enough for swimming 
again, I noticed that she was out there a lot more 
alone than she had been in past years.  Since I worked 
out of my house for the software company, I was almost 
always home - if I wasn't out on a photo shoot 
somewhere.  My office as well as my bedroom was on the 
second floor and it faced their pool, and she knew 
that.  I began to notice that she would make a lot of 
noise when she first got outside, as if she was 
announcing her presence to me.  And I saw that she'd 
moved a chaise lounge chair so that it was always 
visible from my upstairs window.  I also noticed that 
she was looking over at my windows a lot while she was 
outside, and I was even getting the distinct 
impression that behind the sunglasses she wore that 
she knew I was watching her.  I?d also gotten the 
impression that she wanted me to watch.
To test my theory, one evening when her folks were 
gone, I turned my office light on and opened my blinds 
a little so I was easily seen from their house if I 
was walking around my office.  Predictably, Anna came 
out in her black bikini and spread her towel out on 
her lounge chair, but not without looking up at my 
window first.  Since it was evening, she wasn't 
wearing any sunglasses and I clearly saw her studying 
my window.  She casually walked over to the pool, 
dipping her long leg into the water.  Anna walked down 
the steps into the pool then right back out, her white 
skin glistening.  It was cool this evening and she 
immediately made for her towel, but as she bent from 
the waist to get it, giving me a look at the back of 
her legs and her derriŠre, she looked sideways right 
back up at my office for a long second and only then 
slowly straightened up and wrapped her towel around 
her waist.  As she approached the french doors at the 
back of their house, she reached up behind herself and 
untied her bikini top, then opened the door and went 
in.  This was something she'd never done before!  And 
as she turned to close the door, she allowed me just 
the briefest glimpse of the side of a very beautiful 
breast and a large dark aureola before she walked 
further into the house and was lost to my sight.
I was shocked by what had just happened.  For 16 years 
now, this girl had been like a daughter to me but now 
it looked like she had been trying to seduce me!  And 
the more I thought about it, I recognized that this 
was part of a distinct pattern that had been emerging 
over the past 2 years.  
I had to admit it; she had turned me on.  I felt 
guilty as hell about that, but I just couldn't look 
away when she was at the pool.  She was beautiful, and 
what's more, she seemed like she was using her body 
and looks in a calculated way to...to do what?  Tease 
me?  To be sure, this was teasing, but it was more 
than that.  I knew Anna well enough to know she 
wouldn't act like this without a reason, so it wasn't 
teasing so much as it was something more.  Was it just 
a schoolgirl flirting with me because of a crush she 
had?  I doubted that as well.  Anna was more mature 
than probably any girl her age and she was very in 
touch with herself.  And she'd known me too long and 
too well to have just a simple crush on me.  Oh, shit!  
Was this her way of slowly trying to attract me to 
her?  Was she letting me know she was interested in me 
in a different way now because she was becoming a 
woman?  Of all the things it could be and the reasons 
why I was seeing all these changes in her, this last 
theory seemed the most plausible.  How in the world 
was I going to handle this?  And what the hell would 
Jim and Alicia think?
As I fell asleep that night, I decided maybe my 
emotions had gotten the better of me and that maybe it 
was just a crush or maybe I was just imagining things.  

By the time had my first cup of coffee the next 
morning, things were starting to look clearer to me.  
Anna had been progressively more talkative with me and 
our conversations were longer and of a more personal 
nature now.  Anna had begun to flirt in very subtle 
ways with me now, and she was very careful and self-
controlled when it came to doing anything that might 
be construed as sexual or too overt.  And she'd gotten 
more physical with me over the last two years as well, 
but again, in very subtle ways.  She always gave me a 
light kiss hello or goodbye now, and there were the 
frequent hugs, which were becoming more like adult 
hugs than those sideways 'kid hugs' that all of us 
have given or gotten.  And there was the choice of 
clothing when she'd come over to see me.  She wore 
respectable clothes when helping me in the studio or 
while at a photo shoot, but when I was alone at home, 
her choice of clothing was becoming a little more, 
well, provocative.  And the more I thought about that, 
the more I realized it wasn't just coincidence.  I 
began to feel like it was more by design.  And then 
there was last night at the pool.  She didn't act or 
look like a schoolgirl last night at the pool.  She 
had acted like a full grown woman who was trying to 
seduce me.  



Time Passes

As the weeks went by, I spent more time with Anna than 
I ever had before.  I had payed her $7 an hour when 
she first started helping me in the studio, but after 
two years now, she was up to $10 and it was worth 
every penny to me, and it was cash under the table for 
her.  But here it was summertime and she ought to be 
dating and enjoying her freedom and her friends, but 
from what I could tell she would rather be spending 
time with me.  She didn't date, she didn't do 
sleepovers with girlfriends, and she didn't ask to 
just go out with friends, girl or boy, just to hang 
out.  She was with me.  And since I didn't have a 
regular 9 to 5 like most guys, I was always home, too.  
I was paying a lot more attention to her now than I 
ever had, and I noticed that her shorts seemed to be 
shorter now and she'd even started coming over without 
a bra on, but only when she knew I wasn't doing a 
photo shoot in my home studio.  And she was swimming 
almost every day now, trying to tan and from the looks 
of it, trying to get my attention, which she had 
anyway.  And while she was at the pool, there was 
never anything overtly slutty or sexual about her 
actions, but she was so damn sensual!  Languid and 
long, slow moving, offering me views of her backside 
and those long legs and then sunning with no top on, 
but never showing me anything but a quick side view.  
And when she did that, it seemed she would take her 
top off so sensually.  It was so erotic sometimes, and 
I found that her image was in my mind all day long 
now.  I even noticed that she would smile occasionally 
when she was doing it, like she knew the effect it 
must be having on me.
I don't need to tell you how many times I questioned 
myself and where my thoughts were heading.  But I 
always came back to that same theory.  I really was 
left with no theory that explained any of it except 
that Anna was in love with me, and she was trying to 
figure out how to show it with everything she did.  I 
realized that sooner or later I was going to have to 
broach this subject with Alicia, and that made me feel 
even worse.

The summer passed and then fall turned to winter.  
Well...as much winter as we get here in California, 
anyway.  I found I really missed those pool days, but 
at least with Anna back in school, I was able to get 
more work done for the software company.
Christmas came and went, and just like that, winter 
was over and March was coming up again and Anna would 
be turning 17 now.  It seemed impossible to me that 
she could already be seventeen.  It made me feel old, 
somehow.
A lot of things had changed in this past year.  I was 
feeling stronger now and could make it for weeks 
sometimes without breaking down for remembering those 
days with Susie.  Oh, I thought about Susie multiple 
times a day, but they were warm thoughts now and the 
horrible shock of loss was just about gone, replaced 
by a sharp ache.  I realized that's when the real 
healing can begin, but that in itself made me sad as I 
also realized that I was beginning to miss her a 
little less with each passing month.  
I knew Anna's presence in my life was a big part of my 
healing as well, and I realized more every day how 
much I loved Anna, but it was a heartbreaking love, 
because I could never let myself believe that anything 
would ever come from it.  After all, how could it?  
She was half my age and had her whole life ahead of 
her yet, while mine was already half-way over, and I 
was an old man already.  Or at least I felt old most 
days now.  Old before my time from such a great loss 
at too early an age.
I had always loved her as my own daughter, 
well...goddaughter, but I realized that my heart was 
getting involved now in a completely different way.  I 
tried like hell to never let it show, nor did I do 
anything with those feelings, but they were my 
constant companion now.  I just kept them to myself, 
deep inside my heart, and basked in the warmth and 
comfort they gave me.  But it was torture, all the 
same.

I had bought Anna an expensive hybrid mountain bike 
for Christmas, which she took everywhere she went now.  
Now for her upcoming 17th birthday, I bought her an 
expensive watch and some additional camera gear that 
she had been hinting about for several months.
One thing I really appreciated about Jim and Alicia 
was that they never begrudged me buying Anna expensive 
gifts.  They never went overboard with her and I 
understood and appreciated that philosophy in them, 
but for me, I was granted a slight pardon from that 
policy.  Hell, I had already changed my will to leave 
it all to her when I died anyway...unless I remarried 
one day, which didn't seem likely the way things were 
looking right now.  And besides, I loved to give her 
those gifts.  It thrilled me to no end to give her 
nice things and then see the appreciation in her eyes.  
She never took me or my gifts for granted, and that 
made it all the easier for me to want to give her nice 
things. 
When I showed up at Jim and Alicia's front door, Anna 
came running to greet me and threw her arms around me 
and gave me a respectable peck on the lips.
"Hi, Steve!" she grinned with that amazing smile she 
seemed to keep just for me.  My heart pitty-patted 
like a damn teenagers.
My hands on her waist briefly, I smiled and replied 
"hello, darlin!"
"Where's my birthday surprise?" she looked up at me 
and smiled devilishly. 
"Today's your birthday?" I acted shocked.
"Steve!"  she said.  "You do this every year to me!" 
she giggled.
"Heck, I just gave you a great bike at Christmas three 
months ago!  What more do you want?" I said smiling 
and teasing her, enjoying our physical nearness.
"Oh, I want lots more!" she said quietly, smiling, 
then she tip-toed up and kissed me again, another 
light peck on the lips.  It was a comment laced with 
hidden meanings, and I'm pretty sure she'd meant it 
that way.
My heart and brain stopped working for a second there.  
Did she just say what I thought she'd said?  And was 
it just my imagination, or did she mean it the way I 
wondered she had meant it?  Because I knew she wasn't 
talking about material things.  Anna just wasn't wired 
that way.
We joined Jim and Alicia in the kitchen and had wine 
while we waited on dinner to come out of the oven.  
Alicia was a marvelous cook and could throw an old 
tire in the oven and create a fantastic dinner out of 
it.  Tonight, it was to be a standing rib roast with 
all the trimmings and Alicia knew how much I loved her 
roasts.  Since Susie had passed, I'd taken to buying 
expensive cuts of meats for Alicia to cook for all of 
us or for Jim and me to grill.  At first, Alicia had 
gotten upset with me for doing that, but admitted that 
they loved the extravagance of it, too.  Tonight's rib 
roast was another one of my 'dinner gifts' to the 
family that I truly loved to do for them.
"I imagine that Anna's all 'gifted-out' right now 
after her big party!" I said suggestively, winking at 
Jim.  "I would think she wants to wait until after 
dinner to open her presents from us, don't you think, 
guys?" 
Both of them jumped on that, but Anna wasn't having 
any of it.  "I can see by Mom's timer we still have 
almost 30 minutes before the roast comes out, and then 
it needs to sit for another 15 minutes."  That was all 
she said, then she smiled sweetly at us.  We laughed.
"They're in the pantry, sweetie!" Alicia said with a 
wave of her hand.
Anna squealed as she trotted over to the small walk-in 
pantry and opened the bi-fold doors.  She came back 
with her hands full.  "Jackpot!" was all she said, 
wearing a big grin.
When it came time for my presents, I had her open the 
camera stuff first.  A new macro lens and a good 
tripod with a ball-head, plus a 'designer' strap for 
her camera.  She was so excited about them, and hugged 
me and kissed my cheek.  Then I gave her the small box 
that she hadn't seen before with the watch in it.  Her 
eyes got big and when she opened it up, they misted 
over a little.  "Oh, Steve!" she said.  "I love it!" 
she got up and leaned over to hug me again and kissed 
me on the cheek again.  I noticed that she'd kiss my 
cheek in front of her parents, but on the lips when we 
were alone...which I took as another sign of her 
feelings.  I'd hit it out of the park with my gifts 
once again.
As expected, dinner was fantastic, and the wine was 
getting to my head by the end of the night.  We talked 
until after 10, and then I made my adieu's and of 
course Anna wanted to show me out.  After a nice hug 
from Alicia and a hearty handshake and a big smile 
from Jim, I went to their back door to let myself out, 
just like I'd done a thousand times before.  
Anna walked me outside and thanked me again for the 
gifts.  She seemed reluctant to let me walk away, so I 
stood there in their patio lights watching her face.  
Her eyes were wet as she talked briefly with me.  "I 
missed Susie tonight," she said quietly, and I nodded.  
"But I'm so thankful to have you in my life, Steve."  
She came to me then, up on her toes.  I bent down to 
hug her.  This time when it came for my usual good 
night kiss, however, it wasn't a peck.  It was a soft 
kiss that lingered on my lips for a moment longer than 
a peck.  It felt like a lover's kiss, and it made my 
knees weak.  It was only after she backed away that I 
noticed that her arms were around my neck.  And then I 
realized that I had my hands holding her waist to me 
in a more intimate way also.  Oh, shit!  What was I 
doing!  
She smiled up at me, that big warm smile, and her eyes 
became inscrutable for a moment, thinking her deep 
dark secret thoughts as she searched my soul.  If she 
could really read my mind at moments like that, she 
must have realized that I was crazy about her, too.  
Her smile became even warmer then, and she slowly 
brought her hands from around my neck, letting her 
fingers graze the side of my neck.  Still, I held her 
tiny waist, unable to effectively communicate with 
them and get them to let go of her.
Finally when her hands came free of me, I reluctantly 
removed mine as well and we stood there just smiling 
at each other.
"Happy seventeenth, my lovely lady" I said into her 
eyes.
She smiled so wonderfully at me then.  "Thank you for 
being here, Steve.  And thank you for my beautiful 
watch.  I love it."  She paused then, looking deep 
into my eyes,  "And I love you. Steve" she whispered.
I looked into her eyes then.  "I love you too, Anna" I 
said.
That exchange was unlike any other time we'd said 'I 
love you'to each other.  Totally unlike any other 
time.  And we both knew it.  We could see it in each 
other's eyes.  I grabbed her hands for a second, 
holding them fast in mine, then I kissed the back of 
her hands then let go and walked to their gate and 
went home.  I wanted so badly to run back and take her 
in my arms and give her a real kiss, but then the 
madness left me and I realized that what I wished for, 
could never be and for the first time I felt really 
sad about our relationship.  Terribly sad.



Saturday Morning Talk

The next day was Saturday and it was my custom 
whenever possible to share morning coffee with Jim and 
Alicia.  The weather was unusually nice and Anna had 
gone out for a ride on her bicycle.  Alicia said she 
couldn't wait to show off her watch to a friend or two 
and would likely be gone till after lunch.  Jim was in 
and out of the house, working on his lawn mower.  Jim 
always got ready for spring early with his mower and 
yard equipment.  He was a stickler for that and for 
keeping his yard immaculate.  He wouldn't take my 
help, and told me to enjoy my morning coffee with 
Alicia so it was just the two of us. 
All of a sudden I was at a loss for words, as thoughts 
of Anna and the emotions that overtook me last night 
came back into my mind and I began to feel horribly 
guilty.  I had to think of something to say...
"I guess Anna liked her gifts, then?" I said lamely.
"Oh, Steve!  You know you could have given her a $10 
watch and she'd have been thrilled with it.  The fact 
that it came from you is what makes her happy!" she 
said.
"Yeah?  I guess you're right" I added lamely.  Again.  
"Have you noticed that she doesn't call you "Uncle 
Stevie" or "Uncle Steve" anymore?" she asked.
"Yeah.  I've notice a lot of changes in her recently" 
I said before I knew what I was saying.  Oh, shit.  
What a dumbass!
She filled my cup again then sat down across from me 
with hers.
"She loves you, you know," she said quietly, then took 
a sip.
"I know, and I know she misses Susie a lot, too" I 
said, wanting somehow to change the subject.
"We all miss Susie, Steve...but...that's not what I'm 
saying," she added mysteriously.
I looked up from my coffee then, into her eyes.
"I'm telling you that she loves you" she said again.
"Well...and I love her too, Alicia!" I returned.  "I 
always have and always will!"
"No, Steven.  That's not what I'm saying," she 
insisted gently, smiling at me.  She rarely called me 
Steven and it got my attention.  "Anna's in love with 
you, Steve."  There.  She'd said it.  And there was no 
place for me to hide under her gaze.
I paused, then I stammered.  "I...uh...well...I was 
afraid of that, Alicia" I confessed.  "And...I guess 
I've...wondered about it for a while now.  I can see 
it in everything she does for me and with me."
"So you haven't done anything about it yet?" she asked 
me gently.
I was shocked.  My mouth dropped.  "Oh my God, 
Alicia!" I gasped.  "Are you saying what I think 
you're saying?" 
"I'm only asking, Steve" she said, putting her hand up 
in a gesture of peace.  "You're a man and 
she's...well...let's face it, she's more of a woman 
already than most girls will ever be."
"I'm her godfather, Alicia, for crying out loud!" I 
said defensively.  "I'm practically family!  I've 
known her since the day you had her.  Hell, I've 
changed her diapers and wiped her butt when she was 
learning to potty train!" I was really reaching now, 
and I'd run out of things to say.  Then more quietly I 
added; "and I'm twice her age, Alicia" and I knew she 
could hear the heartbreak in my voice then.
She smiled and chuckled.  "I'm not mad at you, Steve!  
Slow down, hon!" she said apologetically.  "I'm just 
telling you what I already know," she said knowingly.
"What do you mean," I said quietly.  "Already know 
what?"
"You think she and I don't talk?  You think I don't 
see the way she is around you?  You think I don't hear 
the tone in her voice when she talks about you?  I may 
be getting older, but I'm not blind, and I'll never 
forget what it feels like to fall in love.  I'm 
telling you, Steve, I know!"  she said emphatically.  
"And so after seeing all the classic signs now for 
over two years, I finally talked with her about it" 
she added.
"You did what?" I asked, looking around frantically to 
see if we were still alone.
"I talked with her about her feelings, Steve," she 
said matter-of-factly.  It may come as a surprise to 
you that Anna and I talk, but we do talk... about a 
lot of things!  We always have.  We're both very open 
and honest with each other and we always have been," 
she added.  "And I've always been very thankful for 
that and careful not to abuse the privilege with her!"
When I didn't say anything, she went on.  "When I 
first started to notice the little things, I chalked 
it up to a crush." I began to nod slowly.  She saw 
that.  "I see you did too, then."  It wasn't a 
question.  "I understand about school girl crushes, 
Steve.  I've been heartbroken by a couple of them in 
my early years," she smiled sadly, wistfully.  "So...I 
started watching her more closely, then.  I didn't 
want her to get hurt."  She held up her hand again 
when I meant to say I'd never hurt her.  "Not hurt 
like that, hon.  I know you would never ever hurt her!  
I was worried she'd be devastated if she eventually 
found out you didn't feel the same way.  But then...I 
began to notice that it was more than that, and then 
last night I saw the way you two were on the patio 
together."
I started to speak and she waved me off.  "I'm not mad 
at you, Steve!" she said quickly.  "And I'm not 
disappointed in you, either" she added.  "There are 
two things I want for her and for you.  I don't ever 
want her to get hurt, and I don't want for you to get 
hurt either."
I didn't know what to say, and I told her so.
"Do you love her, Steve?"
I knew what she was asking and I looked back at my 
coffee, not able to look her in the eyes.  She gave me 
time to answer.
"God help me, Alicia, I think I do" I answered quietly 
and as honestly as I could.  There were tears in my 
eyes then.  "But what would Susie think!  And what 
must you and Jim think!"  I felt so ashamed.  
"Jim and I have talked about it and we both want the 
same thing" she said.  "And Susie's dead, Steve.  And 
she's never coming back" she said decisively and 
strongly.  "And she'd want you to move on, honey."
That struck me hard and I couldn't speak for a while.  
It was like a cold slap in the face, but one I knew 
she knew I needed at that moment.  I knew she would 
hear me swallow hard then, as I took in what she said.  
She was right, and it was what I'd been trying to tell 
myself for four years now.  Then I thought back to 
what she'd just said.
"What did you just mean...that you and Jim both want 
the same thing?" I asked.
"Jim and I both love you, Steve.  Hell, if Jim were to 
die, I'd eventually come calling to your door.  I 
could see me doing that, and Jim's already said that's 
what he'd want me to do."
I was shocked.  It seemed like that was happening a 
lot this morning. 
"You're nothing if not a good, no...a great guy, 
Steve.  A good and true man.  One of a dying 
breed...you and Jim.  A truthful, honest, loyal and 
loving man.  The truest friend we've ever had or ever 
will have!  You've never made a pass at me or given me 
any reason to think there was an open door there with 
you...either before or after Susie died.  You've 
always treated Anna with the deepest respect and love 
and we both know in our hearts that you would rather 
die than hurt her."
I was nodding.  Everything she said was true and we 
both knew it, and now the tears were rolling down my 
cheeks.
"And all three of us love Anna and would give our 
lives for hers" she went on, undeterred by my tears.  
"And we all want what's best for her," and she paused 
for a moment.  "And being a women, Steve, I know what 
a woman's heart is like, once it's made up its mind.  
And her heart knows what it wants, Steve."
I looked up at her, then unable to meet her eyes for 
shame I looked back down at my hands.
"From what you've told me and what I've seen so far, 
you have nothing to be ashamed of, Steve."  She 
reached across the table and took my hand.  The damn 
woman could read my mind!  First her daughter, and now 
her!   "Besides, Anna's told me there's been no sex of 
any kind yet between you two," she added, skillfully 
dropping that bomb.
My mouth opened, but nothing came out.
"I asked her how far it had gotten," she said matter-
of-factly, shrugging.  "When Anna told me how she felt 
about you - and believe me - she told me in great 
detail and very succinctly how she feels about you - 
that was the next logical question for me to ask."  
Then she paused.  "Especially when she told me how she 
tried to get your attention at the pool this summer!" 
and she grinned at having had that bomb in her arsenal 
to drop on me, as well.  I think she enjoyed that one 
a little too much.
My jaw dropped, and once again her hand came up and 
she smiled at me.  "She is a beautiful creature, 
Steven, and you would have to be gay not to look," she 
offered nicely.  "I have to admit I thought that was a 
little forward of her, but she was trying to figure 
out where you stood.  And since you were being your 
normal chivalrous self, and completely behaving 
yourself where she was concerned, she resorted 
to...well...more drastic measures, shall we say."  She 
smiled in spite of the pain I knew she could see in my 
face.  I still didn't know what to say.
"But seriously now, she's getting to that point where 
she wants to be with you and when that time comes, 
you'd better be ready and you'd better already have 
decided which way you'll go.  That won't be the time 
for last-minute decisions then, hon," she said with 
utmost seriousness.  "Or for going by the thoughts of 
your 'little head' either."  She added quietly.
I looked at her then and made to speak, but she went 
on.
"Because if you let it go that far and then turn her 
down, you'll break her heart.  Or if you let it go 
that far and your intimacy isn't centered on your 
undying love for her, you'll break her heart.  Either 
way, she'll die inside, because that's how much she 
loves you."
"But she's only seventeen, Alicia" I said helplessly.  
"And I'm twice her age!"
"You're only that far apart right now, Steve.  But 
when your 60, she'll be in her mid-forties."  
"What are you saying, Alicia?" I asked slowly.
"I'm saying that if you don't love my daughter like 
that, or if you can't see yourself loving her and her 
alone for the rest of your life, you need to recognize 
that and tell her yourself, and you need to do it 
soon.  But let her down gently, Steve.  Above all 
else, let her down gently.  But you'd better be darn 
sure when you do it, because I doubt you'll ever find 
another woman more in love with you or more worthy to 
be loved."
"But how...how can you and Jim even allow this?" I 
asked.
She paused then, gathering her thoughts.  "Have you 
taken any notice of the younger male population these 
days, Steve?  Well, I can tell you that Jim and I 
have, and Anna has too, and it's a damn scary thing.  
It's slim pickings out there.  And when we stack up 
any boy or man we've ever known against you, Steve, 
they all fall way short.  We know you love her.  Hell, 
Steve...I've known that you love her for going on a 
year now!  I can see it in your eyes, man!  The 
question is do you know it yourself?  Are you willing 
to admit it to yourself?  And then finally, do you 
really...and truly...love her, or is it more lust?  
Because know this, Steven.  If you take her body, but 
you don't have her best interests at heart in all 
this...if you can't put her needs above yours and love 
her for the rest of your days...then you will break 
her heart, and in turn you'll break Jim's and mine."
I was still too shocked to speak.
"We've known you for a long time, Steve.  We've seen 
you at your best and your worst.  We saw your love for 
Susie, how you treated her and your marriage, and then 
how you've agonized over her loss.  I've spent many an 
hour one-on-one with you, and I've talked more with 
you than I have with any other man except for Jim.  
Hell, I've talked more to you than I have to my own 
father in my 34 years!  My point is this... I know 
your mind as well as anyone, and I'm pretty sure I 
know your heart.  I know you, Steven.  We've watched 
how you've helped us raise Anna into something any 
parent would kill for...no, don't stop me...and we 
want you to know that if you proceed with this, you do 
so with blessings.  Because we know that if you truly 
love her, you will always treasure and love Anna the 
way she deserves to be.  Either way this proceeds, I 
know in my heart that you will do what's best for Anna 
first, thinking of yourself only as a distant second, 
or maybe even third behind Jim and me.  We both have 
come to the inescapable conclusion that it couldn't be 
a better situation for our daughter if you take her 
for your own."
I hung my head then, and I was silent as the tears 
continued to fall from my face onto the table.  She 
was silent, then but got up abruptly coming over to me 
and kneeling beside my chair.  "Oh, Steve!" she said 
softly.  "What is it?" she asked.  I just shook my 
head.  "Do you still miss Susie that much?  Do you not 
love Anna like that?  Are you afraid you won't be able 
to in the long run?"  She paused and I was still 
silent.  She put her arm around me and whispered, 
"tell me, darling!"  She sounded like a most-loving 
mother talking to her son then... or a most-loving 
mother-in-law.
"Oh, Alicia!" I said through my silent tears.  She 
kneeled there and waited, rubbing my back.
"I hardly know what to say" I said finally.  "You 
two...how do I tell you what you've meant to me and 
Susie over the years and now to me with her gone?"  I 
said.
"You don't need to, baby!" she said quietly.  "Because 
we've known that all along!  We know it because we 
feel the same way about you, Steve!"
I looked up at her then through tearful eyes and threw 
my arms around her.  "Oh, Alicia!"  I said again.  "I 
couldn't ask for better friends, and I love you both 
so very much!"  I looked into her eyes.  "And as to 
what you said earlier...well...I would love you and 
take you for my own if it came to that because I've 
always loved you!"
Now it was her turn to be startled and I saw tears 
come to her eyes.  She kissed me then, and I returned 
it heartily.  It was the first and last time we ever 
kissed like that and it made my heart stop and I felt 
the blood rush to my cock for a second.
And when we parted, we both looked surprised and 
embarrassed.  "Oh, wow!" I exclaimed softly.  "Yes, 
wow!" she said, smiling demurely, then she wiped her 
lip with her thumb and stood up to put distance 
between us.  I never looked at Alicia the same after 
that, and I always wondered what it would have been 
like for us should we have been forced by circumstance 
to come together.
I waited for her to return from the kitchen with 
bagels and more coffee before speaking again.
"I can't imagine what Jim must think of me," I said 
quietly.  "I suddenly feel like such a dirty old man."
"Dirty old men only have their own interests in mind, 
Steven.  And it's usually about their sexual 
gratification and they don't care who gets hurt as 
long as they get what they want. Does that sound like 
the kind of person you are?  Because it doesn't sound 
like you to me!"  She said, backing me down very 
quickly.  I couldn't look at her, but then she 
continued more softly.  "Jim and I don't always think 
alike, Steve...but in this we agree.  In all that I've 
said to you...we agree,"  she replied.  
"Alicia...I'm..."  I was stammering for the words.  "I 
just don't know about this.  I mean, I would feel so 
weird, I think.  So guilty.  I mean...she's your 
daughter for crying out loud.  She's my daughter...in 
a manner of speaking."
"We suspected you would feel that way, and between 
that and the age difference, we felt like one or both 
of those things would cause you to stay away."  She 
paused.  "Steven" she said, using the longer form of 
my name again and causing me to look up at her.  "When 
Anna and I first talked, I knew it would come to this, 
and this has been my biggest fear.  That you will want 
to move away to avoid being near her and thus we all 
lose.  No...hear me out..." she went on.  "And both 
Jim and I fear that almost as much as if we were to 
lose Anna.  We would rather have you as a beloved 
friend and...a much loved son-in-law...one day if that 
happens, than to lose you and potentially lose Anna.  
And we'd rather have you for that son-in-law than a 
million other boys out there, who will likely only 
break her heart in the end."
I sat and took all that in, and believe me...it was a 
lot to take in.
"And there's one more very important thing for you to 
remember and never, ever forget in all this" she said.
I looked up at her.
"When you said you would feel guilty, or like a letch, 
or like a 'dirty old man' or whatever your morals 
would try to tell you what you are, you must remember 
this..." she paused, "it wasn't you who started this 
or instigated it, or brought it on any of us, and you 
certainly weren't trying to seduce Anna or turn her 
heart toward you.  It was her that started it...or 
rather her heart that brought this about.  And the 
heart knows what it wants, Steven" she said.  "This 
has all been Anna's emotions, Anna's heart, and Anna's 
mind that has brought this all on.  And not you.  We 
all know that, and we know it for a fact.  Most of 
all, Anna knows it.  And she's scared to death about 
it."
What?  "Why?" I asked, concerned.  Then it hit me.  
"She knew you and I were going to have this talk, 
didn't she?" I said.
She nodded.  "Yes, but not when we would have it."
I paused, thinking.  "And she's terrified that I 
don't, or won't...or can't...feel the same way for 
her...isn't she?" I said tentatively, feeling this out 
as I went.
She just looked at me.
"What an awesome fucking responsibility" I mused out 
loud.
She snorted, then smiled at me.  "I have tried to put 
myself in your shoes many times when I was trying to 
figure out how to talk about all this with you, but I 
just couldn't do it," she admitted, shaking her head.  
"I just couldn't put myself in your shoes or your 
head, and I really went into this blind, not knowing 
what to expect.  Hell, Steve, I went from wanting to 
wish it away to wanting to just let whatever happens, 
happen.  But in the end, I knew you and I needed to 
talk.  If there's to be any chance for success here, 
you and I had to talk."
I nodded, understanding much more now.
"Why don't you go on outside and talk to Jim," she 
offered quietly, putting her hand on my arm.  I made 
to protest, but she butt in.  "Remember, hon, it was 
Anna who brought this all up, and Jim knows you did 
nothing to start it all.  There's a big difference in 
that, and it's all in your favor when it comes to how 
he and I see you."  She paused, then walked over to 
me, making me look her in the eye.  "Truth be told, 
Steven, he's scared to death he's going to lose you in 
all this.  Because of all this.  And he'd rather have 
you as his best friend and his son-in-law, than to 
lose what you two have and see his daughter hurt badly 
in the process."
I just stood there, staring at her.  "I always knew 
you were a remarkable woman, Alicia, but it turns out 
I've greatly underestimated you all these years."  I 
paused.  "Jim is the luckiest man I know.  You are the 
best wife and the finest woman I've ever known.  Jim 
chose wisely, and I'm proud to have you for 
my...well...my closest and dearest friend."  I paused.  
"And no matter what happens from here on out, just 
know that I love you and I have the utmost respect and 
admiration for you.  I will always love you, Alicia."  
This took hold of her someplace deep inside and she 
looked at me differently then in that moment with us 
two alone in the kitchen.  Our eyes spoke volumes in 
those seconds before I turned and went outside to find 
Jim.  And from then on Alicia and I shared something 
new and even more profound than we had in all the 
years leading up to that moment. 

Jim was pretty much the same as Alicia had been, and 
it was weird because we both felt like we were walking 
on eggshells.  But whereas Alicia's talk centered more 
on the heart and on emotions, Jim was more pragmatic 
about it all.  As soon as I was in the garage he went 
to his fridge out there and pulled out a couple of 
beers for us.  "Yeah, I know it's only noon, but who 
cares, right?" he'd said.  "I'm sure you could used 
something stronger right now, but this is all I've got 
out here!"  He laughed nervously.  
In the end, Jim confirmed what Alicia had said.  He 
didn't want to lose me as his friend, and if me and 
Anna ended up together, he just wanted me to take the 
best possible care of her that I could.  He admitted 
that he and Alicia took a fair measure of comfort in 
knowing my financial situation was set and Jim 
admitted that he worried about that with Anna's future 
almost as much as how her heart was faring in a 
relationship.  I could understand that.
Between the two of them, I got a well-rounded version 
of how they really felt about me, about Anna, about us 
as an extended family, and about me and Anna as a 
couple.
We talked for about an hour, then we hugged and for 
the first time in a long time, Jim told me he loved 
me, and I told him the same, and there were tears in 
both of our eyes as I walked back into the house.

I went back inside and found Alicia in the kitchen, 
getting stuff out for the night's dinner.  She looked 
at me and smiled hopefully.  "Everything OK, honey?" 
she asked concerned.  
"It was just like you said, Alicia" I replied.  "Jim 
and you are in agreement about this."
"And so how does that make you feel now?" she asked 
quietly, stopping her work.
I paused, breathing in deeply before replying.  
"Better... I suppose" I said tentatively.
"But...?" she said.
"Don't take my hesitation the wrong way, Alicia" I 
said.  "I realize now that I truly do love Anna.  God 
help, me Alicia, but I'm crazy about her!  And I do 
want her in my life and I don't ever want to go 
through a day without her...or...without you guys 
either" I said sheepishly.  "I need you all in my life 
and I can't bear to think of it being any other way!" 
I said emphatically.
"So...?" she asked.
I paused again, thinking.  "Well, you've got to 
understand, this has been a whopper of a morning, 
sweetie, and my head is swimming!  I've got so much to 
think about and I need to do this right!   Above 
all..." I talked quieter now, as if to myself, "I need 
to do this right."
She said nothing, but just watched me.
"Would it be OK if I asked for your advice, Alicia?" I 
asked demurely.
"Not at all, and I'd hoped you would, hon" she said.  
She walked around the corner and came out of the 
kitchen and pulled out a chair for me at their table.  
I took it and she sat down with me.
"I do know several things that may help and which you 
need to remember, Steve," she started off.  "Anna 
loves you with a strong and mature love.  That may not 
seem possible for a young lady of only seventeen, but 
she's known you all her life and she sees the good in 
you and feels like she can handle the bad that comes 
your way.  I've heard her bare her heart and soul to 
me, and her feelings are the real deal.  It's not a 
crush, and it's certainly not lust.  So if she knew 
you were committed to her and your relationship 
together, there's no end to how committed she would be 
to you.  Remember that well, Steven.  Also know that 
there are many, many women out there who fell in love 
at young ages, ages we think are way too young for 
something like marriage, and they stayed devoted until 
death took them from their husbands or their husbands 
from them at advanced ages.  Remember that, too."
I nodded, and kept my mouth shut.
"Now, that being said, the ball - as they say - is 
more or less in your court now."  She looked at me and 
took my hand in hers.  "You must decide whether you 
can get over this uncomfortable feeling of not only 
what you think we may be thinking about all this, but 
you will also have to contend with what everyone else 
in the world will think when they know you are in love 
with a seventeen year-old girl."  She went on.  "And 
should you be able to conquer those fears, then you 
must decide - once and for all - if Anna is the right 
person for you.  But I think I can say with some 
degree of certainty that she'll never break your heart 
and she'll be true to you.  There.  It's that easy, 
Steven.  That is what you must do, but you must do it 
quickly now, as she will likely know that we've talked 
this morning."  She saw the look in my face, then, and 
added;  "Oh, don't worry, she won't know from us, but 
she will know, and then she will be watching and 
holding her precious breath until she knows what your 
answer will be."  
I nodded, more serious than I had been in a very long 
time, it seemed.
"And one last piece of advice for you, and I mean this 
in love, Steven." she said.  "I would not let things 
get any more physical than they are now until you've 
had your talk with her."
"Oh, you can be sure of that, Alicia" I said 
carefully.  "Where Anna's heart is involved, I will 
have the utmost care and concern."
She stood up then.  "You are coming to dinner tonight, 
right?" she asked sweetly, as though none of this had 
transpired today.
I decided to respond in like manner.  "The usual 
time?"  I smiled.
She came to me then.  "Hug me before you go" she said, 
and we did, long and hard.
As she walked me to her back door, she said one last 
thing.  "Steven, I've known you a long time now, and 
I'd be hard pressed to remember a time when you 
disappointed me in all those years.  And I want you to 
know that you did not in any way disappoint me today, 
either."  Then she kissed me on the cheek.  "See you 
in a couple of hours, hon" she smiled.



Saturday Evening

When I got home, I took a long shower and got cleaned 
up.  I felt like I'd sweated bullets today, but they 
were emotional bullets.  Big .45 Long Colt bullets!  
Needless to say, I was worn out, but my mind was still 
racing.
The facts as I saw them were these... I loved Anna, of 
that there was no doubt.  It was not a love born of 
lust or the physical, but one born of her whole 
person.  I had spent hundreds if not thousands of 
hours in her presence.  She was intelligent, 
intellectual, a gifted conversationalist, widely 
interested in many different things, she shared my 
love for photography, she was easy-going and 
unassuming, she loved to laugh and joke, but knew when 
to be serious.  She was empathetic toward others, and 
had a good conscience and strong morals.  In all the 
times I'd ever been around her, and just like Alicia 
had just told me earlier about myself, I'd be hard 
pressed to remember a time when Anna had disappointed 
me.  And that's saying one hell of a lot about 
anybody, much less a 17 year-old.  Add to this the 
fact that she came from great parents and I knew 
firsthand what her upbringing was like.  She had a 
fantastic, happy, and nurturing childhood, which could 
only make her a better woman.  Add to all of that the 
fact that Anna knew me better than anyone except for 
her parents, and she still loved me.  And from what 
Alicia had said, it was a true and undying love, 
mature and bold.  And then finally, there was the 
physical.  And concerning that there was no doubt...I 
knew I would always find Anna enticing, exciting, and 
arousing.  Her eyes set my heart on fire, and her 
touch stoked those fires even higher.  Her voice 
lifted my spirits and her attitude kept them high.  
I loved her.  I really did love her.  And I knew then 
in that moment that I could love her as my lover and 
eventually my wife, and that I could live with 
whatever anyone might say against my right to do that.
I had a job that allowed me to set my own hours, and 
as far as the income it provided me, I did not need 
it.  I had well over $2 million in banks and 
investments, I had no debt, and I was able to live off 
my photography and software work, so I never had to 
touch a penny of my savings.  So it was true that I 
never needed to work again or to even have to face the 
world if I didn't want to.  And with Anna by my side, 
I could see us traveling until we wanted to settle 
down, and then pick and choose the spot we decided to 
retire at.  And we could afford to move Jim and Alicia 
close to us and build a home for them as well, if need 
be.
My mind was made up, then, and I decided to have my 
talk with Anna, and I was going to do it tonight.  I 
felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders all of a 
sudden, and I actually smiled at myself as I shaved.  
Gone were the thoughts of being a "dirty old man" or 
worrying about what Jim and Alicia would think or do.  
I would spend a pleasant evening with them tonight and 
see how things went from there.  Either way, I wanted 
to talk to her by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, 
and then we would lay bare the true secrets of each 
other's hearts.

When I saw Anna that night for the first time, it was 
as she came to their back door to greet me.  She 
clearly had been watching for my arrival, of that 
there was no doubt.  It made my heart soar to see her, 
and this time I took her in my arms and hugged her to 
me and told her I had missed her today, then asked her 
how her day went.  She said fine, but said she'd have 
rather spent it with me, to which I just smiled and 
said the same.  As we approached the back door, I took 
hold of her arm and gently stopped her.  She turned to 
look a me and I softly said; "you really very nice 
tonight, hon."  Even in the evening light, I could see 
her blush.  I could also see that she had spent time 
this afternoon fixing herself up and she really did 
look beautiful.  She smiled so sweetly in response to 
my compliment, and then I added; "I could really use 
one of your wonderful kisses right now to set me right 
for the evening.  Her eyes changed and got kind of 
dreamy and I thought she might have teared up a little 
as she leaned in to me.  As she did and then kissed me 
lightly, I could smell her dainty soft smell and feel 
her hair just brush against my face.  Her hand went 
into mine then, and her lips were softer than silk.  
It was then my feelings for her were confirmed yet 
again, and I could not help myself.  "I love you, my 
Anna" I said softly.  She fell into my arms then and I 
thought I heard her sigh, just like in the storybooks.  
She looked up at me then, as if second guessing 
whether all this was really happening or not, and so I 
put my hand under her chin and lifted her mouth to 
mine.  We kissed long and hard then, and I know my 
heart stopped, as did time itself, and I drew her body 
to mine in a tight embrace.  She became as soft and 
pliable in my arms as the most ardent lover would, and 
gave herself fully over to my kiss.  This kiss was 
mine to to initiate - for the first time ever - and I 
know that wasn't lost on her.  
When we finally backed away from each other, there 
were tears rolling down her cheek.  "Mom talked with 
you today, didn't she?" she asked tentatively.
"I spoke with both of them, yes" I said.  
"And?" she said, more fearfully now.
"I've had too much of heartache and loneliness these 
last few years, Anna.  And to tell you the honest 
truth, besides for them, you are the only thing...the 
only person...that brings me any happiness or joy 
anymore.  I was always trying to control myself when I 
was around you, Anna.  I never wanted to cross a line 
with you and go beyond what you and I had always had 
with our 'family' relationship; because I felt way too 
guilty about my feelings toward you.  But those 
feelings wouldn't let me rest, Anna, and instead of 
controlling them like I hoped I could, they ended up 
starting to control me.  And then I felt like an old 
man trying to take advantage of a young beautiful 
girl."  She started to say something, but I stopped 
her.  "All I could think of was that Susie would be so 
disappointed in me, and then I'd lose the best and 
truest friends I've ever had in your Mom and Dad...and 
you...because if they knew the thoughts I'd been 
thinking about you, one or both of them would have 
killed me.  But then I had to be honest with myself, 
especially today after I found out how your heart 
felt.  Is it true, Anna.  Do you love me?"
"Yes, Steven, I do love you!"  The tears were rolling 
down her cheeks.
"Not like a godfather or as an uncle or an older 
brother even?" I asked quietly.
"I have felt like that for much of my life, Steve, but 
it's become much more than that now."
"So you could love me...as...a lover?" I asked.
"Yes I could, and yes I do even now," she said.  "I 
can't get close enough to you any more, baby.  I need 
to be in your arms...and in your bed!"  She blushed 
and had said that last part so shyly and quietly that 
it made my heart stop.  It was a major confession, and 
it thrilled me to my core.  And it had been the first 
time she used a strong term of endearment with me, and 
that rocked my soul, too.
I paused and looked deep into her eyes.  "Then I tell 
you now that I love you too, Anna.  As a daughter I 
have never had, yes...but more.  As a lover I only 
dreamed I could ever have, yes even more!  And I want 
you for my own if you will have me for your own and 
your only, Anna Chambers." I said solemnly.
She was weeping quietly now, listening to my speech.  
And through her tears, I heard her say, "you've been 
my one and only, Steven.  Ever since I was old enough 
to love a man, you were that man my heart moved 
toward.  I love you and I always will.  I want you for 
my one and only also."  We hugged again and kissed 
deeply, our tongues dancing joyously now.  Hers were 
kisses I would never tire of.  We stood like that a 
while, just holding each other while I told her how 
everything was going to be so fine and so right from 
now on, and that I would take care of her always.
"Let's go in now, love, but let's try to keep this to 
ourselves for tonight.  Tomorrow we'll talk more, or 
maybe later tonight after dinner, and then it will be 
time for us to talk to your parents about it.

Dinner was fabulous and made even more so by the fire 
in Anna's eyes, which I could not stop looking into.  
It seemed torture to have to sit opposite her at the 
table and not be able to touch her, on top of having 
Jim and Alicia there at the table with us.
When I looked at Alicia, there was no doubt that she 
figured out what had transpired between us outside a 
few minutes earlier, and her eyes were happy and 
moist.  Jim was busy devouring his rib roast, and 
thanks to the meal being absolutely delicious, there 
was less need to talk since we were all stuffing our 
faces.
After dinner coffee and dessert were wonderful as 
well, and although Anna and I offered to help clean up 
the table and the kitchen, Alicia told us no.  Jim had 
retired to the living room, reading some manual that 
pertained to something with a gasoline engine.  
Alicia had a moment alone with me and asked; "you 
decided already, then?" she asked hopefully.
I nodded and smiled at her.  "It's all about her, 
Alicia.  Everything is about her.  You were right 
about it all.  I can't deny what I know or what I 
feel.  And now I know it's real."
"You two go on over to your house.  I think I need to 
get Jim upstairs tonight and screw his brains out!" 
she giggled.  
"Alicia!" I exclaimed quietly.  "Methinks love is in 
the air tonight!" I said jokingly.  It was very unlike 
her to speak so boldly, and I liked it.
"Methinks you're right!" she smiled devilishly.  She 
looked around quickly then gave me a peck on the lips.  
"Go" she said, and then she took my arm; "be good to 
my baby girl, Steven, and if she ends up spending the 
night, that will be OK with us."
That took me back, and surprised me a lot.  "I'll be 
good to her, Alicia" I said, looking her dead in the 
eyes.  "For the rest of my life."

Anna and I ran through the wet grass in the dim light 
over to my back door.  We got inside and I shut the 
light of and there in the dim light of my kitchen, we 
kissed as lovers would for the first time ever.  And 
it seemed as natural as if we'd been this way for 
years.  Her mouth and her tongue were hot and hungry 
and so were mine.  I broke away from her gently and 
said that I wanted to sit and talk for a while with 
her.  I said there were things I wanted to hear from 
her and I knew she wanted to hear me talk about my 
feelings also.
"Because if we don't do this now, I'll have you in my 
bed upstairs if you were willing, and then the time 
for talk will be long past."
She nodded.  "You are right, and of course I'd be 
willing!"  She flashed that devilish smile of hers.  
I knew what she liked and poured us both a glass of 
wine.  We went into the den and sat together on the 
love seat with only a dim light on across the room.  
We kicked off our shoes and got comfortable.  I 
reached out and held her hand, our fingers 
intertwined.
"I started to see the changes in you toward me, 
shortly after we lost Susie," I started off.  "I 
wondered if it was a crush, but there were too many 
other things going on.  Things you did and said.  The 
way you looked at me.  The way you treated me.  I knew 
there was more there than a crush, but I was scared!" 
I admitted.
"I wondered if it was a crush too...at first," she 
admitted.  "But I kept coming back to the same 
feelings, and the same way of thinking and seeing 
things.  I saw you, so tired and so hurt.  And crying 
with you only made my heart break all the more for 
you.  I wondered if it was pity, or just feeling sorry 
for you, but in time I realized it wasn't pity.  I saw 
how much you loved her, and from that I knew you could 
love like that again.  And when it came right down to 
it, I wanted it to be me that knew that love, and me 
who felt that love.  And so I wanted to be there when 
you got better, and I wanted to be the one who helped 
you get better.  And all along I was terrified, 
Steven, because I doubted that you would ever love me 
or at least be able to love me as a woman, and not 
your 'pseudo-daughter'.  But it didn't matter,  I had 
to do it.  I had to try it.  To see if my dreams could 
come true."
"I remember you showing that fear on occasion!"  She 
looked at me questioningly.  "Every time I had a date, 
you wanted the particulars!"  She smiled, remembering 
that.  "And I noticed that if I seemed to like a 
particular date, you questioned me until I revealed or 
recalled something questionable, and then you would 
jump on that.  And then you would seem so relieved 
when I wouldn't like a date.  Then there all those 
Saturday or Sunday mornings when you'd come rushing 
over to see if my date from the night before was still 
there the next morning."  I stopped then, thinking 
about that.  "That must have been horrible for you, 
Anna" I said sympathetically.  
"It was, Steve.  I died a little every time I knew you 
were out on a date.  How I wished it was me who you 
wanted to be with, but here I was only 16 or so, and 
you were still looking at me like I was your 
daughter."
"I'm sorry, baby," I whispered.  "I have no idea what 
that must have been like for you."
"Every morning that I ran over to your house to see if 
you were alone or not, I wondered what I'd do if you 
weren't alone, and it terrified me, but still I had to 
know, Steve."
"I didn't ask them to stay the night, because it 
didn't feel right, but there was more to it than that, 
Anna.  The closer I got to you, the less I wanted to 
be around other women, and I certainly wasn't looking 
for one night stands."
"Anna..." I went on, but paused.  "You know people 
will talk...about our age difference, I mean.  And you 
know that will be hardest on you, especially as I grow 
older.  Right now, I'm in the prime of my life, but 
when I'm 70, you'll be in your early 50's and there 
are a lot of reasons why that will be unfair to you.  
And then I'll probably worry that you'll want love and 
go looking for it elsewhere because I may not be able 
to provide it to you like you were used to."
"Please don't borrow trouble, Steven!"  She countered 
firmly.  "Neither of us know how long we have.  Who 
does?  We may not live another year.  You ought to 
know that better than anybody.  And how do you know it 
won't be me that will be the one in ill health long 
before you are?  The truth of the matter is that we 
could look for a million reasons why this may not be a 
good idea for either of us, but all I can see is a 
million reasons why it makes perfectly good sense!"
I watched her face while she was talking.  When she 
was done, I couldn't stand it any longer.  I leaned in 
and grabbed her, pulling her over to me and kissing 
her deeply.  "What makes you love me that much, Anna?" 
I asked, wonderingly.
"I just do, Steven" she said.  "You're gentle and 
kind, you're a loyal friend and you were so good to 
your wife all those years.  And even I could see how 
much you loved her by how much you missed her after 
the accident.  And you take the time with me.  Time to 
talk, or just to be with me.  You care about me and my 
feelings, and you never treat me with anything but 
kindness and respect.  You treat me like a lady and 
not like a little girl.  And I know you love me.  I 
just know it.  I feel it and I can see it.  And so 
could Mom, and that really seemed to validate it for 
me."
I sat there, taking it all in.  She was truly an 
amazing girl...no...woman!  I had always thought of 
her as a girl until recently, but now more than ever, 
I was forced to realized that Anna was indeed a woman, 
and maybe more centered and mature than most women 
ever get in their entire lives.
"I love you, Anna" I said staring deep into her eyes.  
"I have loved you all my life, but with a respectful 
love a man has for a daughter he could never have.  
But now I have come to love you as an equal and as a 
woman.  A woman that I don't want to be my daughter 
any more, but my wife and my lover and my best 
friend."
She had tears in her eyes now.  "Oh, Steven!" she 
whispered through her tears.  "Do you think we could 
go upstairs now?  I want you to make love to me, baby.  
I want you to be my first, and I want you to teach me 
how to please you and how to be a woman in the real 
sense of the word!"  She was blushing profusely, and 
had a heart-wrenching pleading in her voice.  "And you 
need to know that shortly after Mom and I started 
talking, she thought it would be best if I got on the 
pill...just in case." 
I hardly knew what to say.  I stood up and offered my 
hand to her.  She reached out and took it, and I 
pulled her up to me, kissing her long and hard.  She 
melted into me then, returning the kiss with a 
ferocity I hadn't expected, then together, we walked 
up the stairs to begin our lives together.




If you find you'd like to know what may have become of 
our characters after the events of this book, please 
let me know, and if there's enough interest, I'll 
share more of their lives together with you!