Part1_Lizzie_in_the_4th_Grade (g9b12, slow, cons, nosex)

Long-time reader, first time writer
Lizzie's story in a multipart series inspired by events in my
life
The author does not condone abuse of anyone in anyway at anytime

***   ***   ***

Lizzie focused on her breath. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Lizzie's
head arched unnaturally backward as her mother maintained a tight
grip on Lizzie's long brown hair, ensuring maximum tension for a
picture perfect braid. Two months ago Lizzie had fainted from
lack of oxygen during a similar braiding session. She awoke on
the bathroom floor, feeling confused, staring up at her mother
who sat on the toilet waiting for Lizzie to wake up. For a few
weeks Lizzie's mother had allowed her to sit on the toilet seat
while she braided her hair. Now it seemed the generosity had worn
off and Lizzie should be well enough to manage standing.

Satisfied with her handiwork, Lizzie's mother sent her on her way
to school. Lizzie hated having her hair done in braids but knew
enough not to argue or fuss about it. Lizzie was a very pretty
child, a blue eyed, fairer colored version of Christina Ricci at
that age, but she didn't feel very confident in herself or have
many friends. Her mother had non-negotiable requirements about
Lizzie's appearance, perfectly braided hair along with a pretty,
and in Lizzie's mind dorky, outfit. If Lizzie topped that off
with a perfect report card, her mother left her alone. If she
didn't, she'd be met with a hard slap in the face, but that was
the extent of her mother's input and helpfulness.

After getting on her school bus, Lizzie stared dreamily out the
window, imagining herself a love smitten teenage runaway,
listening to the "Slippery When Wet" Bon Jovi album the bus
driver chose to play. She had a wild and morbid imagination,
often dying after a devastating motorcycle crash in the process
of saving the lives of her best girlfriend and her secret boy
crush. Quite a satisfying adventure for a 9 year old in the 4th
grade.

School was the same old boring routine and Lizzie had trouble
paying attention in class. Lunch and recess were not much better,
as she was terribly shy. She had two friends she felt comfortable
talking to and playing with but when they were out she would
pretend to be occupied to avoid noticing the fun everyone else
seemed to have.

At the end of the school day, Lizzie lined up to board her school
bus. Walking down the aisle to her seat she heard "psst, Lizzie!"
and turned her head. A boy reached out to pass her a note which
she grabbed with a puzzled expression and continued to her seat.
She had never spoken with this boy. She knew he was a 6th grader,
broad and a bit heavy, but a generally attractive boy with sandy
hair and warm brown eyes. As she sat down, she unfolded the tiny
piece of paper. The torn page was covered front and back with
tiny penciled sentences. In it he wrote:

"I think you're a really pretty girl and I'd love to get to know
you better. My parents own the motel on the corner of my bus
stop. Meet me there sometime for a date? Write me back with your
answer. Todd"

Lizzie felt herself blush hotly. She had barely known this boy
existed before today, but now that she knew he liked her she felt
very excited about him. He is cute, she thought, cute and his
parents must have money to own a motel. Lizzie was well aware of
her relative poverty. She qualified for the school's free lunch
program and her mother periodically received food basket
donations from their church. She loved the thought of being able
to buy things at the store or go to a movie, or at least the
thought of a boy like Todd buying these things for her.

Entering her house, Lizzie's mind was in the clouds, imagining
what it would be like to have a boyfriend, an older 6th grade
boyfriend. She felt so excited that even the chores her mother
expected of her didn't bring her down. Her mother worked as a
bartender and most of the time when Lizzie came home her mother
was getting ready to leave. Her grandmother had been there to
help in the evenings, but since she had passed away this past
summer, Lizzie was on her own. Her mother had prepared the
evening meal as usual for Lizzie to heat up, Hamburger Helper
cheeseburger macaroni tonight.

"Good bye Mommy!" Lizzie said as her mother walked out the door.

"Good bye Lizzie, make sure you do your homework!" Her mother
said as she headed towards her car.

Hmm, homework . . . Lizzie thought, knowing the only thing on her
mind was writing a response to Todd's note.

***   ***   ***

Lizzie's heart pounded fast as she walked by Todd on the school
bus the next day and quickly handed him her note.

"I would love to meet you some time. Maybe Friday or Saturday
after 5pm? Let me know when. Lizzie"

Red faced, Lizzie turned and stared out the window, pressing her
cheek to the cool glass. What would happen next? She felt
terrified and excited.

Todd was all she thought about in her classes that day. She had
kissed a boy, well actually, a boy and his brother, two years
earlier in the woods behind their house. They'd said they were
both her boyfriends and she felt like a princess. Looking back
she knew that was really stupid kids stuff, and while she didn't
know much about adult romance, she knew she wanted it.

Towards the beginning of that year, Lizzie had a dream where she
was sitting in a Ferris wheel car on a school field trip. Inside
the car there were probes that penetrated the crotches of the
people on the seat. Lizzie woke up in shock at the feelings she
was having down there from the dream. Since that day, Lizzie
couldn't stop touching herself nearly anytime she was alone. She
felt extremely ashamed about it but just couldn't stop,
especially since she found herself alone and lonely so often.

The school day zipped by as Lizzie day dreamed about all of the
fantastic things that would happen on her date with Todd. Him
kissing her, him holding her, him touching her. She also imagined
how much cooler and important she'd be with a 6th grade
boyfriend. She'd finally feel like she had something that made
her special.

As she packed her school bag and began to head to the bus she
felt extremely nervous again. What if he didn't hand her back a
note? What if he changed his mind? Lizzie got on the bus and saw
where Todd was sitting. He was looking away. As she walked by, he
made no move to hand her anything. Totally crushed, Lizzie felt
tears well up in her eyes. She rushed to her seat and stared out
the window, forcing herself to go numb to prevent more tears.

"Lizzie!" startled, Lizzie jumped and looked at the girl who
spoke, a 5th grader sitting in front of her. "Lizzie, this is for
you." The girl handed her a note.

Lizzie had no control over the broad smile that spread across her
face. She was overcome with joy. She opened the note which read
"I can't wait to see you cutie, meet me in front of the motel on
Saturday at 5:30 pm. Todd".

***   ***   ***

5:30pm Saturday felt forever away. Lizzie moped around the house,
frustrated that time didn't move faster. It was Saturday morning
and all she could think about was Todd, his adorable face, his
warm arms. Or at least she thought they would be warm. Warm and
amazing.

Her mother didn't notice Lizzie's state, as usual and as they
both preferred. Being nearly invisible something Lizzie was used
to and something she could use to her advantage at times like
these. So long as Lizzie stayed quiet, she was completely under
the radar.

Lizzie used her time Saturday to figure out what to wear. She had
nothing that she considered cool or remotely sexy. She remembered
when she was 7 years old and had gone out with those two brothers
she wore an "I Love NY" Care Bear t-shirt that had just covered
her panties and snuck out the door before her mom or grandmother
could see her. Then when she was out back with the two boys she
had straddled the snowmobile in their backyard because she knew
that was sexy. Thinking back she had no idea why that was sexy,
but she must have learned it somewhere.

Care Bear t-shirts were no longer an option, not for a date with
a 6th grader. Lizzie rummaged through her options until she found
a fairly tight-fitting, unimportant t-shirt she could cut with
scissors without her mom finding out. Her mother left at 4:30pm
that day, leaving 30 minutes for cutting, 30 minutes for walking
over to the motel.

Lizzie was glad that Saturday in April was warm enough to justify
her newly cropped yellow t-shirt and brightly colored plaid
shorts that she paired with white and pink sneakers. She walked
quickly, then slowly, then quickly as she tried to judge the time
and distance using her Casio wristwatch. She didn't want to
arrive early but at the same time couldn't temper her excitement.

Lizzie arrived at 5:31pm to find Todd standing on the sidewalk at
the end of the motel driveway. Heart pounding and cheeks flushed,
Lizzie hesitantly smiled and looked up at Todd.

"I'm glad you could make it" Todd said as he smiled back at
Lizzie. "Come on and I'll show you around" he said as he grabbed
her hand and turned towards the motel.

The motel sat on a grassy hill. Behind the property was a ravine
with tall trees, scattered with refuse, plastic shopping bags and
rusty old appliances. It captured Lizzie's imagination, as she
loved to explore and find treasures among the trash.

Todd sat at the edge of the ravine behind the motel, dangling his
feet. Lizzie sat next to him and he put his arm around her. She
pressed herself against him and put her head on his shoulder.
This is weird, she thought. I don't know anything about him, but
I don't know how to ask him either. She didn't want to ruin
anything so she stayed quiet and waited for his lead.

"Lizzie" Todd said, as he turned his head towards her and looked
in her eyes. Todd took his hand under her chin and brought his
head forward to kiss her. Lizzie closed her eyes, partially
panicking because she realized she had no idea how to kiss, and
partially melting in anticipation of being kissed.

Todd's lips met Lizzie's and a jolt of passion coursed through
her body. The movement of their lips felt awkward at first but
then Lizzie found a natural rhythm with his mouth. Lizzie felt
Todd's tongue explore her mouth and she struggled to figure out
what to do with her own. Sparks shot up and throughout her body
as Todd moved his hand from cupping her chin to caressing her
bare inner thigh. He moved his hand up and down between the edge
of her short shorts and her knees. Involuntarily she gasped and
found herself spreading her legs then immediately closing them
tightly, scared by what she was doing.

Abruptly Lizzie pulled away. Shakily she said "I need to go home
Todd. I promised my mom I would bring in and feed the cats
tonight." As soon as she said it she knew it was a lame excuse,
but she needed to pull away, needed to come to her senses.

Todd looked at Lizzie intensely, in a way that almost scared her.
He ran his finger up her thigh, over the fabric of her shorts,
pressing back and forth over the crevice of her slit which she
knew was wet and slick from her excitement. "I want you Lizzie,"
he said, pressing harder against her. "I love you," he said,
pressing his mouth to hers again.

Lizzie gasped again and felt she was drowning in his intensity.
No no no! she thought. This can't be happening! I feel out of
control. But just as she was saying this to herself, she pressed
forward and threw her arms around his neck. She moved her body
forward until she was straddling his. Oh my god! she thought,
what am I doing!

"No, I can't, I need to go" she murmured in his ear, "I need to
go" as he thrust his hips up towards hers. She gasped again,
melting over and over, feeling like a puddle with no power of her
own.

Todd flipped Lizzie onto her back and continued to kiss her,
continued to thrust his hips between her legs. Lizzie wrapped her
legs around his waist while feeling terrified at her lack of
control. The pleasure was amazing and her cheeks felt on fire
from the excitement. She could feel his penis pushing against her
through his pants and she felt thrills running up her spine. She
wanted him to take her and do whatever he wanted with her, but at
the same time a voice in her mind told her to run, leave, return
to the safety of her empty home.

Todd reached down to unzip Lizzie's shorts. "Really, I can't"
Lizzie said, scrambling back. "I can't do this tonight, I need to
get back home."

"Okay Lizzie, I understand" Todd said, standing and brushing the
grass off his pants. "Monday, on the bus, at school, we will be
boyfriend and girlfriend. I will save you a seat next to me on
the bus."

Lizzie felt surprised by his assumed authority. Todd didn't ask
her what she wanted, he told her, and she found herself relaxing,
warmed by the thought of being with someone who knew what he
wanted.

"Of course Todd" Lizzie said, nearly breathless as a thrill ran
up her spine, "I'm all yours."

***   ***   ***