Thunder and Lightening Chapter 7 By Lazlo Zalezac Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2004 Monday had been a much better day than he had expected. The entire day, he did not have one episode where his rage threatened to ruin his day. His house was now livable, although he had worked late into the night cleaning the bathroom. The air conditioner had cooled the house down nicely and the futon was a far more comfortable bed than expected. The kids from next door had not visited him after work and he had thought that was strange. He had just finished dressing while eating a pop tart when there was a knock on his door. Going over to answer it, he opened it to find the smiling face of Martin. He grunted, "Morning." "I was wondering if I could get a ride with you." "Sure. Come in while I get ready for work. I've got to polish the old fangs before they rot and fall out. Hate to go through the rest of my life gumming my food." Laughing at the obvious joke, Martin looked around the room while Jerry went into the bathroom. The lack of furnishings took him by surprise. The bed, the air conditioner, and three bags of clothes were all that were in the room. He noticed that the windows had been repaired. When Jerry came back in the room, Martin said, "You really fixed this room up." "Thanks." "Is this all you got?" "Yeah. I have to pick up a mini-refrigerator, a microwave, a hot plate, and a coffee pot, yet," replied Jerry. He planned to stop by one of the discount stores after work and pick them up. He asked, "Did you have breakfast?" "Yes. I figured I'd have to walk if you didn't give me a ride." "Okay. Let's get to the store." The pair left the house, with Jerry locking the door behind him. When he started the truck, Martin said, "Wow. It's quiet. What did you do?" "I replaced the muffler and got an oil change." It seemed like the truck ran even smoother now that it had been repaired. He felt the same way about himself. He was running smoother than ever before. Taking care to avoid the potholes, he drove to the office. "I can see why you would keep it. It runs pretty nice." Smiling at the assessment, Jerry answered, "It's got a long way to go yet. I've got to fix the engine on my other car." "Your other car?" "Yes. The Camaro parked behind the store," answered Jerry. He was going to have to fix the Camaro before doing any more on the truck. The bodywork would prevent him from driving the truck for at least a month. Martin had noticed the car, but hadn't thought anything of it. To his eye, it was just another old car that didn't run. Shrugging it off, he said, "Oh. I saw it, I didn't think much of it." Jerry smiled and continued to drive. He asked, "So what did you think of your first day?" "You work hard." "Yes, I do. I know it looks easy, but it is a lot of work. You'll earn your money," replied Jerry wondering if Martin was going to see this job through to an appropriate end. "Yes, but it is a good living," replied Martin. His brother and he had spent most of the night talking about their jobs. Somewhere during the course of the conversation, Martin realized that his childhood was over and that it was time to start acting like an adult. Jerry glanced over at Martin and said, "You have to put the anger behind you to get ahead in this world. Mine has kept me back for years." Martin wondered what Jerry had to be angry about. As far as he could tell, this guy had it all. At least, he had more than Martin did. He didn't know how to answer, so he kept his mouth shut. He took a moment to examine the Camaro while Jerry parked the truck next to it. It looked a lot like a car that was sitting on blocks a couple of streets from theirs. He asked, "Is the Camaro worth fixing up?" "Yeah. It would be worth a bit of money if it were restored to mint condition," replied Jerry. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the Camaro. He was half tempted to soup it up. Entering the back door, the incessant ringing of the office telephone was the first thing that they heard. When Jerry walked past the office to the front of the store, Martin asked, "Aren't you going to answer the phone?" "Not until the store is ready to open," answered Jerry. He went to the register and checked the money in it. Once that was done, he did the twenty other small tasks that were part of the process of opening the store. Only after he unlocked the front door and took the telephone off the answering machine was he ready to head back to the office. Martin asked, "What am I supposed to be doing?" "Wait for Mike. I'll pick up the calls in the office until he comes in." Shutting the door behind him, Jerry looked at the telephone on his desk. It was still ringing and that meant that it could only be his wife. With that realization, the rage within started to boil, fighting to come out. He picked up the handset and answered, "This is Jerry Smith at Auto Parts House on Main Street." "You fucking bastard. How dare you serve me with separation papers?" The shrill voice and content of the greeting identified his wife better than her saying her name. He held the receiver away from his ear as she continued her rant. "I never should have married a fucking gorilla! You know that's what you are! You're a fucking gorilla. You've fucked me over for the last time. My lawyer says that I'm entitled to half of our assets, but you can bet your sweet ass that I'm going to get all of them." Jerry was gripping the phone so hard that the plastic started creaking. Realizing that he was about to lose his temper, he set the phone down on the desk. He could still hear the general tone of her rant, but he couldn't make out the individual words. Looking down at the squawking handset, he smiled wondering why he had never thought of that solution before now. Opening a drawer, he got out the paperwork that needed filling out that day. There was a knock on the door and he shouted, "Come in." It was Mike, who stuck his head in and said, "I'm here. We'll take the calls up front." "Okay," replied Jerry with a smile. He looked down at the handset on his desk he could hear his wife redouble the volume of her shouting. Mike noticed and asked, "Who is it?" "My wife," replied Jerry with a smile. There was a small buzz from the desk that sounded like his wife shouting, "Who are you talking to?" Shaking his head, Mike left the office; closing the door behind him as he went. Jerry picked up the handset, which had gone silent, and said, "Hello?" "Who in the fuck were you talking to? How dare you ignore me, you fucking ass hole!" Jerry set the handset down and started to work on the paperwork, pausing occasionally to make sure that she was still ranting. When she finally began to wind down, he picked up the phone and asked, "Did you call me for some reason other than to yell?" There was a low growl from the other end of the phone. Finally, she said, "Are you going to see the kids?" "Only if they actually want to see me," replied Jerry with a frown. The kids didn't give him the time of day when he was at home. Sitting up straight in his chair, he added, "I won't waste my time or their time if they don't want to be with me." "You heartless bastard! You miserable creep! Don't you love them?" Jerry was tempted to put the handset back on the desk, but the silence that followed her question forced him to reconsider. After a minute, he replied, "I don't know them. The only time you let me talk to the kids was when you wanted me to yell at them." There was a long moment of silence on the other end. She asked, "Did you love me?" "That doesn't matter. I detest you, now," replied Jerry as he hung up the phone. The rage inside seemed disappointed that it wasn't given a chance to run free. Sitting back in his chair, Jerry considered the conversation. It was a sad fact that he knew more about Abe and Martin than he did about his son, Bill, and his daughter, Melissa. He wondered if he should make an attempt to see his kids sometime soon. It would be hard to arrange without having to deal with the wife first, but there were provisions for visits with the children in the separation agreement. Growling, he got up and went to the front of the store. On the way, he walked past the boxes of stock that Abe had not unpacked yet. Despite the large number of boxes, it was clear that Abe had made significant progress in restocking the store yesterday. Musing about it, Jerry decided that Sammy must have given him a hand with it. Getting up to the front of the store, he grabbed the order that Mike was holding up and went to pull the order. Martin saw him filling a box with parts and asked, "What are you doing? That's my job." Jerry laughed and said, "We all take turns answering the phone and pulling stock. It helps break up the day." "Oh. I thought it was something that the low guy did." Jerry shook his head at the misunderstanding and said, "No. We all do it. Sitting on that chair all day will give you a sore butt. Running around pulling orders all day will give you sore feet." "You can say that again. My feet hurt something awful last night," replied Martin. "Well, you'll get used to it and it won't be so bad in the future. Mike will show you how to look up parts in the book during some of the quiet times. Before long, you'll be taking orders over the phone." The news that his job would be like what he saw Mike doing didn't surprise Martin as much as he thought it would. Jerry had more or less told him that before he had hired him and he had watched Mike at work when applying for the job. The two of them returned to pulling parts. It was in the middle of the afternoon when Jerry returned to his office. His wife had been calling almost hourly, but he had ignored the phone until he had learned that his boss had tried to call him. His rage, which had been hiding for the past few days, decided that this was the time to make itself known. The next time the phone rang, he had gone back to his office and answered it knowing that it would be his wife. Left hand clenched in a fist, he picked up the handset. The first words that he heard were, "You shit. I just went over the money that you are giving me every month. I'm going to have to give up tennis lessons and the gym! You selfish son of a bitch. How dare you do that to me?" The question struck Jerry funny and his rage was forced to retreat as he burst out laughing. He dropped the phone as he fell back into his seat as tears came to his eyes. Every time that he almost had himself under control, he would hear his wife scream, "How dare you laugh at me? Fucking Gorilla." When he finally got himself under control, he answered, "Did you think that I was working just so you could go to the gym and take tennis lessons? Do you realize that I only had twenty-five dollars a week spending money and that all of it went to lunch because you were too fucking lazy to make me a lunch?" "You fucking jerk! You don't care about me!" Jerry laughed and answered, "You got that right. I don't care about you at all." "You are the most selfish man I've ever met! You only think about yourself. My mother told me that I shouldn't marry a fucking gorilla because they aren't evolved enough to be civilized!" The princess was riding high on her royal horse given to her by the queen mother. He despised his mother-in-law and so had his wife's father. It was a fact that he wasn't surprised when the man had committed suicide the day after he retired. She had filled her daughter with the idea that men were there to serve them. He replied, "Your mother knows best. She drove your dad to suicide. Well, you aren't going to do that to me. From now on, all communications between us will have to go through our attorneys." His wife screamed in rage. Knowing that there would be nothing further except for harassment, he hung up the phone. Sitting at his desk, he wondered how he had managed to put up with her for all those years. A very nervous Jenny came into the auto parts store and looked around spotting Mike at the counter. Looking over at the attractive woman, Mike asked, "What can I do for you?" Unsure if Jerry had told her the truth about where he worked, she said, "I thought this was where Jerry worked." "Jerry who?" asked Mike, not sure if she meant his boss. "He never told me his last name, only that he was the manager of the auto parts store down the street from my place," replied Jenny thinking that this had been a major mistake. Abe waltzed into the store and stopped to look at Jenny with an appreciating stare. He was about to say something, when he saw Mike shake his head and choose to get to work. As he slipped into the back of the store, Mike said, "Get Jerry. He has a visitor." With a grin, Abe turned to look back at Jenny and then headed towards the back of the store. Strolling down the isle, he was thinking that Jerry had real good taste in women. When he passed by his brother, the two of them gave each other high fives. At the office door, he knocked and then opened the door without waiting for an invitation. When he stuck his head in the office, Jerry glared at him, but he just said, "Boss, you've got a female visitor and she' a real pretty one." Although less than ten minutes had passed since he had talked to his wife, he was sure that she was his visitor. Fists clenched, he rose out of his chair and stomped to the door ready to throw her bodily out of the store. Shocked at the red color of his boss's face, the vein throbbing on his forehead, the tight lips, and his narrowed eyes, Abe backed out of the way. The rage had seen its chance and it took it. Martin, pulling an order, saw Jerry walking down the isle towards the front of the store. It was almost beyond his comprehension that anyone could look that angry. He stepped well out of the way of his boss. Barely able to see beyond his rage, Jerry was ready to kill. The rage was unleashed and ready to do harm. When he reached the counter, the sight of Jenny took a minute to register. Mike and Jenny stared at Jerry for a full minute as the anger slowly drained from his face. It was as though all of the blood drained from his face as he realized that he could have hurt Jenny if he hadn't recognized her. Once the blood drained from his face, it just kept going. Jenny screamed at the sudden collapse of Jerry. The look of anger on his face was etched into her memory as well as the flash of relief that crossed his face when he saw her. Mike was not fast enough to catch Jerry before he crashed onto the floor like a tree felled by an axe. It took Mike and Martin both to carry him to the couch at the back of the store. Nervous and unsure that she belonged there, Jenny followed them as they half-dragged Jerry to the couch. It was several minutes before Jerry regained consciousness and the first face that he saw belonged to Jenny. He mumbled, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife come here to harass me some more." Jenny stared at the big man on the couch, unable to believe that a woman had affected him that strongly. Looking down at him, she put a hand on his and said, "She must have really been mean to you to invoke that much rage." A shiver went through his body at her touch and the realization of what he had done. Rather than deny the rage, he replied, "The rage has always been there. I've been fighting for years to keep it under control." Recalling the look of rage on his face and taking into account his size, she wondered how successful he had been. The last thing she needed was to get involved with a man that beat women. Terrified at what the answer might be, Jenny asked, "Did you ever hit her?" "No. If I had hit her, she would be dead. I broke a lot of things in the house though," replied Jerry figuring that he had just lost any chance with Jenny. Although she was acting concerned, he knew that his rage had cost him a possible future relationship. "I bet," replied Jenny with relief. She understood that he was probably right about what would have happened if he had ever hit his wife. At least he had demonstrated some control in the past. Despite that, his rage made him a very dangerous man. "I haven't felt the rage to that degree since the night I left her." That was the night that he bent the fender that was still sitting in the back of the Camaro. The few days spent without feeling the rage had made today even worse. It had weakened his control over it. Curious as to what could have provoked such a strong emotion, she asked, "What happened today?" "Harassing calls. My wife is angry that she may have to quit her tennis lessons." The thought that his wife didn't care that she was losing a husband and lover, but a meal ticket angered Jenny. She could understand his rage, but the raw intensity of it was terrifying. Did she want the hassles of having a friend that could be so scary? What was she getting into? Her own doubts made her wonder more than his behavior. As he slowly recovered, it was as though the rage was embarrassed. It retreated leaving him uncertain and weak. He asked, "Why did you come here?" "I wanted to make sure that you were coming tomorrow." The question made him think about how his behavior may have affected her view of him. He replied, "If you would have me, I'd love to come tomorrow." She appreciated that he gave her the option of withdrawing her offer, but she didn't feel right about actually withdrawing her invitation. After his demonstration of rage, she wasn't exactly comfortable about having him part of her life. With less enthusiasm then she meant, she said, "Sure. I'll see you tomorrow." "Okay," replied Jerry as he saw the fear in her eyes. It wouldn't have mattered if she hadn't been afraid, he would have seen fear there regardless. Deciding that she wanted to have time to think about what she would do about tomorrow, she said, "Well, I better get going." "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow," replied Jerry knowing that he wouldn't be going there for lunch tomorrow. He would send her some flowers apologizing and let her get on with her life without the problems that he represented. Jenny nodded and then left the store to return home. Jerry sat up on the couch and thought about what he had done. Along with the self-recriminations, his rage returned to simmer beneath the surface. Ready to explode, he fought the rage. Looking up, he saw the looks on the faces of Mike, Martin, and Abe. Mike had seen glimpses of the rage before, but never to the extent of today. The two brothers had never seen Jerry angry and were amazed at the sheer power of it. Looking around, Jerry said, "I guess we had all better get back to work." As Mike and Martin returned to the front of the store, Abe stood looking at Jerry. Concerned, he asked, "Are you okay?" "No, but there is nothing we can do about it right now," answered Jerry as he thought about what he had done. Shaking his head, he added, "I guess you had better start stocking the shelves. I've got some calls to make." Abe nodded and returned to the stack of boxes containing auto parts. Taking a deep breath, Jerry returned to his office. A small bump was growing on the back of his head where he had hit it on the floor when he had fallen. Picking up the telephone, he called the lawyer that he had retained to arrange for a restraining order to keep his wife from calling him at work. After that nasty chore was over, he called the flower shop and ordered some flowers to be sent to Jenny the next morning. The two calls had exhausted Jerry. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was still several hours before the store closed. It was hard to say if that was a good thing or bad. On one hand, he wanted to be busy doing something. On the other hand, he just wanted to get out of there. The clock chose his course of actions for him. Standing, he headed out to help Abe with restocking the shelves. For the next two hours, Abe and Jerry unpacked box after box of auto parts. Most of the items were light, but a few were heavy. It was with some satisfaction that Jerry carried the heavy parts, feeling his muscles work on something positive for a change. As closing time approached, most of the stock had been unpacked although there were still a number of boxes left. As Mike locked up the store, Abe came over to Jerry and said, "If I stay here another hour or two, I can prob'ly finish." Jerry nodded as he thought about it. If Abe worked a few extra hours twice a week, that would give the guy a day off without affecting the number of hours that he worked. They would get another delivery, a much smaller one, on Thursday. If Abe stayed late on Thursday, he could actually get Friday off. After considering the matter, he said, "Sure. I've got to teach Mike some of the paperwork that goes with being an Assistant Manager." The next two hours after closing passed easily. Mike learned about filling out the employment figures for the state, the sales forms that were faxed to corporate headquarters, and hourly figures for payroll. Running a business was mostly filling out paperwork for the powers that be. There were city, county, state, and federal forms that had to be filled out weekly, monthly, and annually. Mike was shocked at the amount of work that was required to properly fill out all of the forms. It was no wonder that Jerry spent at least a third of every day in the office. The poor guy had been dealing with papers rather than kicking back and daydreaming. After Mike left, Abe came in the office and said, "I'm all done here. Martin went home two hours ago. Can I could get a ride from ya?" "Sure, if you don't mind waiting an extra fifteen minutes. I have something to take care of first," answered Jerry. One of the items that had been delivered in the shipment that week had been a tow- bar for towing vehicles. Jerry went to the storeroom and picked it up enjoying the stress of carrying it in his muscles. While there, he picked up a trailer hitch to put on the truck. Abe followed him, curious as to what he was doing. He was going to tow the Camaro back to the house so that he could start to work on it that weekend. It didn't take him long to hook up the tow bar to Camaro and to attach the trailer hitch to the truck. It took a little more time to back the truck up to it and connect the tow bar to the trailer hitch. Abe got into the truck and waited for Jerry to finish closing up the store. As he was sitting there, he was dreaming of getting a new pair of sneakers with his first paycheck. He'd really impress the guys at school with them. His daydreams were interrupted when Jerry climbed in the driver's seat. Getting ready to go, he turned to Abe and said, "I'll have to drive home slowly. Hope that doesn't bother you." "No, that's okay." Settling into his seat and starting the truck, Jerry commented, "I bet you can't wait for your first paycheck so that you can buy a bike to get around faster." "I'm going to get some sneakers," replied Abe. Pulling out of the parking lot, Jerry said, "I know a bike isn't as flashy as a pair of expensive sneakers, but it will last a lot longer and prove more useful." Frowning, Abe looked at Jerry wondering what point he was trying to make. He asked, "What are you telling me?" "I'm not telling you anything. I'm suggesting that you take care of your real needs first and worry about showing off later," answered Jerry. Changing the subject, he asked, "Did Sammy tell you about how you get bonuses?" "No," answered Abe. Shaking his head at the failure to let his employee know the expectations placed on high school employees, he answered, "Well, a single F or two Ds will get you fired. A D will reduce your bonus by a quarter an hour. A C doesn't affect your paycheck at all. A B will get you an extra nickel an hour. Each A gets you a dime an hour. So if you get five A's in a grading period, that's fifty cents an hour. We calculate the number of hours that you worked during the grading period and multiply it by your bonus rate. The next week, you get a check for that amount." Abe looked at Jerry in shock. It seemed a little extreme to fire someone for a single F or two Ds. He said, "Wow, that seems a little rough." Smiling, Jerry drove the truck slowly down the road avoiding potholes. He answered, "I don't know. You'll work ten to twenty hours a week. I figure there are eight weeks in a grading period. That means that straight As gets you an extra eighty dollars. You're getting paid to study. That's not bad." "You really emphasize school." "That is company policy and has nothing to do with me. Personally, if I had a choice you'd get fired for a single C," remarked Jerry. He glanced over at Abe to see what affect his words had on his young passenger. Abe stared at Jerry for a full minute thinking about what he had said. "Why ya feel that way?" Inside, Jerry could feel the rage stirring as though it was just as interested in the answer as Abe. Concentrating on the road, he answered, "I like to think that young people should have more options about their future than I had." "What's that mean?" "It means that I was a B and C student in high school. When I graduated, I just stayed in the Auto Parts business because I didn't really have any choice about it. I'm in my early forties and I've never done anything different. After a lousy marriage and long hours at work, what have I accomplished? I'm your next-door neighbor in a slum neighborhood," answered Jerry. The rage curled around his stomach, tightening like a boa constrictor. "Shit man. That's rather harsh." "Harsh," laughed Jerry trying to push away the pain. Shaking his head, he said, "You don't even know what harsh means." "Hey, you make good money." "Money has little to do with it. You saw that beautiful woman in the store. I blew that opportunity because of my rage," replied Jerry as the rage climbed up and constricted his chest so that it was hard to breathe. Not knowing what to say in response, Abe wisely said nothing. He watched the road and wondered about his neighbor. His suggestion about buying a bike actually sounded rather reasonable, but he could hear what the guys at school would say. Of course, it would change a twenty-minute walk to school to five minutes and the thirty-minute walk to work down to less than ten. Still, the kids at school would really give him a tough time. He was about to blow it off, when he realized that it would take him almost forty minutes to walk to work from school. They arrived at the house. Rather than parking in front of the house, Jerry drove up onto the yard to park the Camaro under the tree. It took him a very short time to disconnect the Camaro from the truck. Abe watched and then said, "Well, I'm going home. I'll see you at work Thursday." "Great. Have a nice day off," replied Jerry. Despite the late hour, the sun was still shining. He opened the back door of the Camaro and pulled out the bumper from the back seat. Holding it up, he was shocked at the damage he had done to it in his anger. Abe had seen him pull the bumper out of the back of the car. Freezing at the sight of the mangled hunk of metal, he asked, "What in the hell happened to that?" "I got angry," replied Jerry staring at the bumper. At that moment, he decided to hang it on the wall of his living room as a constant reminder of what happened when he allowed his rage full reign. "Shit, remind me never to piss you off," replied Abe with wide eyes as he recalled the anger that he had seen that afternoon. Seeing the look on Jerry's face, he turned and went home.