DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. If you are offended by 
sexually explicit material or are under the age of 18, stop reading 
now. This material cannot be reproduced for commercial purposes 
without the consent of the author.


John Carter
By
Lazlo Zalezak
Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezak, 2003


Part 3: Robes of Acumen
Chapter 1


… to live life balanced on the edge of a razor. 

Can one seek a greater meaning to life than spending it walking a 
thin line that separates one disaster from another? 

He knows what all people of action know. Most of life is lived 
following a routine, waking in the morning, eating, working, 
eating, playing, and sleeping through the night. The common 
fluctuations in daily routine do little to make one day different 
from the next. Then, in the midst of great boredom, the call to 
action sounds and the excitement begins. At that moment, the 
important things of life become as clear and valuable as a royal 
jewel. The heart pounds, the body sweats, and the brain races. In 
the heady rush that follows, you know you are alive.

The story about a person of action is not told in a simple narrative. 
Their diary is blank for pages and then one day will fill ten pages. 
Their story is told from adventure to adventure, for that is the only 
time they are alive. The adventure can be dangerous or playful, but 
it has to be different from all everyday experiences. He knows the 
beginning is often subtle and the middle fast paced. It is the 
ending, when exhaustion threatens to overwhelm them, that they 
are most alive. It is only after everything is over, that the fear 
registers and the desire for sexual release is the strongest. 

In the heat of battle, thoughts are not selfish. Instead, one acts on 
behalf of those around them. All people of action know there is a 
circumstance where they would make the ultimate sacrifice to 
protect those around them. The soldier that says in the heat of 
battle, when things are at their ugliest, that he fights for his fellows 
is honest. Abstractions like freedom and country mean less then 
the real, live person fighting next to him.  

John shivered in the early morning cold as snow fell around him in 
near blizzard conditions. After years of living in the desert, he had 
lost some of his skill in dealing with cold weather. Some things 
were the same when dealing with the desert and dealing with the 
cold. You didn't rush things. Rushing things led to accidents and 
accidents killed. If you had a problem, you fixed it right then. 

His tent had been buried in the snow that fell overnight. It took him 
ages to break camp. He replaced items in his backpack, making 
careful note that all his possessions were accounted for. He closed 
the top of the pack and placed it on his shoulders. He put his cloak 
on and felt much warmer. The cloak kept the chill of the wind from 
penetrating to his bones. The walking stick felt warm in his glove-
covered hand.

The snow came to his waist. It fought with passive determination 
while he struggled to make progress through it. His efforts were 
complicated by boots heavy with snow. The wind whipped his 
cloak around him. Worse, the wind blew the snow up and around 
him. He struggled to the base of a pine where he would be out of 
the weather. He cut small branches from the base of the tree and 
wove them into temporary snowshoes. They weren't great, but they 
would last an hour or two. 

He left the protection afforded by the base of the tree. His progress 
was still difficult, but nowhere near as hard as earlier. The 
snowshoes left pine needles in the snow behind him. They were 
soon buried by fresh fallen snow. He approached the spot where he 
remembered things changing. He took a step forward and the 
surroundings changed from winter to summer. His coat, cloak, and 
snowshoes became uncomfortable and unnecessary. He removed 
the snowshoes, but kept the coat and cloak. 

He looked up and saw a naked woman. He was surprised by her 
appearance. Expecting to encounter the fat man or fat woman, the 
fact that this woman was naked and slender was very nice. His 
body reacted to her extraordinary presence with a painful erection. 
He followed her, as if in a trance, to a clearing. Much to his 
surprise, she motioned him to strip. He knew that sex was a 
significant part of the bestowal of magic upon the visitant, but he 
was relieved to discover that he wouldn't have the force of rape 
this time. He undressed, impatient at his own fingers as they 
fumbled with buttons. Finally, he was naked.

She spread her arms as if to welcome him in an embrace. He 
moved to step forward. He screamed when he felt arms grab him 
from behind. His scream rose in volume when a huge cock was 
shoved up his ass. He kicked and thrashed his arms around in an 
attempt to hurt the man holding him. The naked woman lay on the 
ground and spread her legs. John was shoved roughly between her 
legs. She grabbed his cock with an iron tight grip and pulled it into 
her cunt. 

He was sandwiched between the woman and man, both taking their 
pleasure at his expense. He didn't thrust into her. He was thrust 
into her by the man hammering his ass with a mammoth cock. Her 
cunt tightened up on his withdrawal and it felt like his cock was 
being pulled off.

The man and woman blended at the arms and legs, holding him in 
an unnatural embrace. He was squeezed so hard that each breath 
was a struggle. The cock rammed ever deeper in his ass. Her cunt 
squeezed his cock so strongly that it was unable to move. A hand 
moved between his legs and grabbed his balls. He screamed until 
his lungs couldn't support it any more. His voice rasped as the last 
of his breath was squeezed from his body. Tears rolled down his 
eyes as he begged to be released.

His body betrayed him. With a suddenness that shocked him to his 
soul, he started to ejaculate. The semen poured from his cock like 
water from a spigot. Each time the cock thrust into his ass, more 
semen poured out. The hand around his balls tightened as though it 
was forcing more of his fluid from his body. This wasn't an 
orgasm, it was ejaculation and nothing more. His ass burned as the 
man came in it. The woman's orgasm caused her cunt to clamp 
hard enough that he couldn't ejaculate any more. The world 
narrowed down and then disappeared in darkness.  He heard a 
horrible shrieking noise and then realized that it was he making the 
noise.

Suddenly it was over. The man and woman flowed into each other 
to where there was only a cock in his ass. The man pulled out 
leaving him on the ground to deal with his agony. He attempted to 
rise, but fell back to the ground. He rolled over and took several 
minutes to breathe.

He rose shakily to his feet and swayed unsteadily. His ass was sore 
and dripping blood. His muscles hurt. His throat was raw and dry 
from screaming. His cock looked as if it had been rubbed with 
sandpaper. His balls were swollen and bruised. His palms bleed 
from where his fingernails had cut the flesh.

He looked around to assess his situation. He found that he was 
standing at a crossroads. There was a medallion a little way down 
each path. John didn't move as he looked around. He felt that 
choosing a path meant choosing a medallion. He looked at the 
ground where he stood, lifting each foot to see all of it, and saw 
there was no medallion there. He sat down and waited, unsure 
what would happen next.

The minutes turned to hours. The temperature, which had been 
nice, turned hot. The sun beat down upon his naked and bruised 
body. He started sweating as the air temperature increased. He 
waited patiently despite his discomfort. There was a well down one 
path, but he stayed where he was. His skin began to redden from 
exposure to the sun.

The sun started setting in what he assumed was the west. As the 
sun set, the temperature cooled. The darker it got, the colder the air 
became. Naked and unprotected, he started to shiver. He could see 
his breath in the light of the stars. The sweat that remained on his 
body froze. He was so cold that he couldn't control his shaking. 
His teeth chattered so hard that one chipped. His fingertips and 
toes became numb and then white. He tried rubbing his body to 
keep it warm, but his hands felt like lead and were just as cold as 
the surroundings. 

The sun started rising. It rose on the same side as it had set. The fat 
man was back. "Choose the medallion you will wear."

John, voice barely audible, answered, "I have chosen."

The fat man smiled, "Which one did you choose?"

A bare croak, "The one in the crossroads."

The fat man changed into a woman. "There isn't one in the 
crossroads."

"You haven't put it there yet."

The person flickered between man and woman several times. 
"Why do you think I would put one here?"

John croaked, "This is the point of all possibility."

The fat man frowned and left. The temperature started increasing 
again. It was more than an hour after the sun rose that he felt 
warm. He took the moment to enjoy the temperature. Soon it 
became hot again. The temperature rose. Looking down the paths, 
he could see ripples in the air as the hot air from the ground mixed 
with the cooler air above. Mirages formed images that looked like 
snakes dancing in the air. His skin blistered as the sunburn 
worsened. He stopped sweating, a dangerous sign of dehydration. 
With parched throat and dry skin, his body heated. He lost and 
regained consciousness several times throughout the day.

The sun set along the same side from whence it rose. The fat man 
returned and looked at John. He shook his head at the man's state. 
"Pick a medallion!"

John's head ached. The world swung dizzily in front of his eyes. If 
he had anything in this stomach, he would have vomited. "The one 
in the crossroads!"

"Why do you pick that one?"

"That is the one you want me to pick!"

The fat man left. With the sun below the horizon, the temperature 
cooled down, but John was only barely aware of it. Lips chapped, 
eyes swollen nearly shut, red skin blistered, and fingers turned 
black, he was barely alive. The cold temperature sank its tendrils 
into every part of his body. Over the previous night, he had 
consumed his fat reserves. Now, he had no energy to shake from 
the cold. His body had nothing left to give. He hung in that state 
between life and death.

The sun rose again. The fat man stood over John.  "Pick a 
medallion!"

"The one in the crossroads!"

The fat man laughed, "You are sitting on it."

John rolled over and grasped the medallion. His fingers had 
difficulty closing over it. The fat man knelt down and took it from 
his hand. He looked upon John with satisfaction. He put it around 
John's neck. "You have done well, John Carter. Much better than I 
had expected. There is much for you to do. For now, it is time for 
you to rest."

John woke warm and comfortable at the base of a pine tree. The 
branches had kept snow from reaching the ground around the base. 
The layer of pine needles upon which he was resting was thick and 
soft. The air beyond the branches was still and he could see 
patches of blue sky through the boughs of the evergreen. He felt 
healthy and energetic. There were no signs of damage to his body. 
He dug through his pack and pulled out the GPS to check his 
position.

He stood up and parted the branches to assess the snow beyond his 
shelter. It was deep, much deeper than he could easily walk 
through. He cut branches to make another pair of snowshoes. He 
took his time and made a pair that would stand up to the trek back 
to town. He fastened them to his boots, grabbed his backpack, and 
slipped out from the tree. The air was cold, but not bitterly so. He 
slipped the pack onto his back under the cloak. With walking stick 
in hand, he took a few tentative steps away from the tree.

He took out the compass and checked the directions. Satisfied, he 
headed east towards the road. He couldn't use his walking stick 
since setting it to ground caused it to sink deep into the snow. 
Because there were no paths to follow, he stopped frequently to 
check the compass. It was important to make sure that one walked 
in the same direction rather than in a circle. 

Systematically, he moved closer to the highway. Walking was 
made more difficult because of the snowshoes. He was required to 
move in a fashion that felt unnatural to him. It was tiring, but at 
least the distance wasn't far. He stopped when he saw the mountain 
of snow that had been piled up by the snowplow. It was taller than 
he was, virtually impassible for a man on foot. 

He set down his pack and retrieved his GPS. He checked his 
location and looked at the map to decide what direction to follow 
the snow bank. He repacked the GPS and map carefully. He put his 
pack on again; feeling the cold snow stuck to the pack on his back. 

He walked along the snow bank. It was not a difficult path 
although he did have to detour around several large pines. He 
spotted a house to his right and smiled to himself. He knew the 
owner probably had the entrance to his drive cleared of snow and it 
would be his chance to cross over onto the road. He had almost 
reached the drive, when a man's voice reached him, "Hello! Come 
over to the house!"

"I'm coming!" shouted John. He turned and headed towards the 
house. It was rather far back from the road. 

The door to the house opened when he reached the house. The man 
leaned out, "Come in, come in. Get out of the cold!"

John removed his snowshoes and entered the house. It was nice 
and warm. John looked at the man, "Thanks. Let me get my boots 
off so I don't track snow all over your house."

"Sure thing," replied the man. He pointed to a coat rack on the 
wall. "You can hang your stuff up there."

"Thanks." John hung his cloak on a peg and then removed his 
backpack, setting in on the floor. He removed his gloves and 
slipped them into the pocket of his coat. He took off his coat, then 
the sweater under it, and finally a second sweater. He hung each on 
the same peg. He unlaced his boots, struggling with the damp 
laces. He eased his boots off and flexed his toes. 

The man watched him with amusement. "You definitely know how 
to dress for this weather."

John shook his head, "I don't know. There for a while, it was touch 
and go."

"I take it by the pack that you've been hiking today."

"I came out here on the twentieth."

The man stepped back in respect, "You were out there a week?"

John nodded as he calculated how many days he had lost. It was 
five days this time. He answered, "Yes, a week."

The man shook his head, "You're in pretty good shape for such a 
long hike in that storm."

"I spent most of the storm out of the weather."

The man made a gesture with his thumb directing John into the 
main room of the house. John went into the room and turned to his 
host, "Forgive my manners, I'm John Carter."

"Well, that answers all of my questions. I've heard many good 
things about you. I'm Walter Burns. No relation to George."

John laughed, "It's George's loss."

"So how are things on Mars, John Carter?"

It took John only a second to catch the reference to the Edgar Rice 
Burroughs character. He laughed, "That was granddad. I'm stuck 
here on earth."

"I guess you get that a lot."

"Surprisingly, I've only gotten that two or three times. It seems that 
not many people read any of his works except Tarzan," answered 
John. He had read all of Burroughs' works when he was younger. 

Walter shook his head, "Well, they would if they lived up here in 
all this snow. Not much to do during the winter except read."

"I know what you mean." John moved over to the fire and turned 
his back to it.

Walter said, "You want some hot chocolate to warm up your 
insides."

"That would be great."

Walter left the room to make some hot chocolate. John's rear 
started to feel hot so he turned to face the fire. He held his hands 
out to let them warm. The cold quickly left his system and he 
stepped further away from the fire. He turned to face the room 
when Walter entered carrying two mugs. Walter handed one to 
John, "Here you go."

John smelled the steam rising from the cup. The rich aroma of 
chocolate warmed the spirit as much as the fire warmed the body. 
He took a sip and sighed in satisfaction. "This is good."

Walter sat down in one of the chairs, "Hey, take a load off and 
enjoy your drink."

John sat down in a chair next to Walter's chair. He stared into the 
fire and slowly sipped his drink. He stated, "This is nice. I'm going 
to dread going back into the cold."

Walter nodded and was silent for a while. He finally stated, 
"There's a large crowd of people waiting for you in the next town 
down. When you finish your drink, I'll take you down there."

John looked surprised, "A large crowd?"

"Yes. Quite a large crowd from what I saw. They're gathered at the 
Sporting Goods Store. They didn't seem too worried about you 
being in that storm, though. No one has been out looking for you."

John considered, "I wonder what happened that brought them all 
out here."

"I have no idea. I'd offer you something to eat, but they have some 
sort of barbecue pit running all the time."

John took another sip of the hot chocolate. "You don't have to 
drive me down there. I parked my jeep at George and Martha's 
restaurant."

Walter laughed, "They're closed because of the weather. It will 
take you a day to dig your jeep out of all that snow. Longer if you 
parked it in the back!"

John looked at the man, "You seem to know a lot about the state of 
things around here despite the recent weather."

"Actually, I drive the snowplow so I know what's open and what's 
closed. I still have streets to clear before things can get back to 
normal. You were lucky, I stopped here for a break."

"That explains a lot. I'll be glad to accept a ride from you."

"So tell me about that group waiting for you," requested Walter. 
He had met the people. They called themselves Druids. He had 
been very surprised by their hospitality and manners. There was 
none of normal social friction normally exhibited by any group of 
people forced together in such close quarters. He had seen more 
discord at a church social. 

"I'm not sure who's waiting for me or why they are there."

Walter responded, "It's Jed's odd crew."

John asked, "What are your impressions of them?"

Walter answered, "They are the most different set of folks that I've 
ever encountered. I was out plowing the first day of the storm. 
They were camping there, so I stopped to see if they needed to get 
some place out of the weather. They were building igloos and 
forming a regular city there. The parking lot had already been 
cleared of snow. They told me everything was fine and then 
offered me some food. I've been back there a couple of times every 
day. I've never seen any kind of argument. It doesn't seem natural 
that so many people can be together without fighting."

"Oh, they are different. Every one of them is self-sufficient. They 
can live easily on whatever they carry with them. They all obey 
one rule - if it harms no one, then do it. You will find that people 
who live by that rule won't argue about little things. If it doesn't 
harm anyone, they are free to do it and you have no right to tell 
them otherwise," stated John.

"They sure are the most helpful folks that I've ever encountered. I 
had just stopped for a minute and they were offering me coffee and 
food. Next thing I know, they got me by the fire so that I could 
warm up.  When I was ready to return to work, I had four or five 
volunteers willing to ride with me and help me if any problems 
arose."

"You're providing an important service that benefits the 
community as a whole. They would naturally take care of you."

Walter was quiet for a moment. He then stated, "They were out 
there clearing the snow off some of the older folks houses. It was 
needed to keep the roofs from caving in. Weirdest thing, I have no 
idea how they knew who needed help and who didn't."

John laughed, "Trade secret!"

"If you keep that a secret, none of us will be able to help."

Walter dropped John at the Sporting Goods Store. He waved as he 
drove off to remove more snow from some of the back streets. 
John watched him go thinking to himself that one day in the future; 
Walter would become a Druid.

He walked through the store. It always amazed him with the 
variety and quality of goods that were stocked in it. He was 
stopped by Catherine Sullivan. She was holding a bundle of cloth 
in her hand. She stated, "Put this on before you go out back."

John took it from her and unfolded it. It was a brown robe. He 
looked at it in surprise, "A robe?"

"Yes, I have nine more just like it for you to take with you. Now 
undress and put it on. I'll be out back waiting for you." Catherine 
opened the back door and stepped out. 

John slowly undressed. He put his old clothes in a pile and put on 
the robe. There were deep pockets for his personal possessions. He 
filled one with his wallet and car keys. He noticed the leather belt 
and tightened the robe around him. He put on his cloak and picked 
up his walking stick.

He opened the back door. Stepping through the door, he was 
shocked by the number of people gathered there. There were at 
least two hundred people there. As far as John could tell, every 
Druid in the world was present. The Druids formed up in three 
groups. A large group wore the Goddess's medallion. A slightly 
smaller group wore the God's medallion. A handful of people wore 
the medallion of the Two-sided One. Off to the side, Beth and 
Kelly stood there watching him with smiles on their faces.

Mary Darling stepped forward, "We who serve the Goddess greet 
you, John Carter."

Jerry Smith stepped forward, "We who serve the God greet you, 
John Carter."

Harry stepped forward, "We who serve the Two-sided One greet 
you, John Carter."

The three of them stated together, "We recognize you and name 
you the Grand Druid."

John looked in shock at all of the Druids as they performed a half 
bow toward him. John automatically returned the half bow. John 
stated, "I thank you for this honor, although I do not feel that I 
deserve it."

One by one, Druids came to him with greetings and introductions 
of themselves.  Many of them, he already knew and they 
exchanged personal statements. Those he didn't know briefly 
described their skills and told him where they lived. All of the 
continents were represented. The three who had first greeted him 
were the last to talk to him.

When Mary Darling came up, John asked, "How did this come 
about?"

Mary Darling stated, "You are the first to serve all three in eight 
hundred years. You are the first true Grand Druid since that time."

John stated, "I wonder why I was chosen."

Mary Darling looked at him with a funny expression. "You don't 
know?"

John stated, "I don't know."

Mary hugged him and then stepped away. Jerry Smith took her 
place. He smiled at John, "I had a feeling this was going to happen 
the first time I met you."

"Why didn't you warn me?"

Jerry laughed, "You would have denied it anyway."

"True."

Jerry stepped away as Harry came up to John. He smiled, "It was 
hard doing what Jed had asked. I had a prophecy of this day to tell 
when I first met you."

John recalled how Harry had left the funeral for Jed. He nodded, "I 
understand now. Who did you tell it to?"

"The Sheriff."

"How did he react?"

"He probably thought I was a crazy man." Harry left and rejoined 
his group. He shouted, "Let's Eat!"

There was a leisurely rush to the barbecue pit where several roasts, 
chickens, and racks of ribs were cooking. Next to the pit was a fire 
pit with a large kettle of beans. On a table were huge bowls 
containing coleslaw and potato salad. There were also several 
loaves of fresh baked bread. It took John a little while to make his 
way over to his family. They waited patiently for the line to get 
smaller before getting their meal.

Kelly, Beth, and Ed were smiling at John. He asked, "What are you 
smiling about?"

"Your hair and beard," started Beth. Kelly finished, "are 
completely white now."

Ed wondered aloud, "I wonder if your pubic hair is white also."

He grinned as he stated, "Nope. I think you are going to like some 
of the other changes down there though."

Ed immediately thought of John's cock in his ass. If it had grown 
even more, then he was not going to like the changes. He 
exclaimed, "Oh, no!"

Kelly and Beth both answered, "Oh, yeah!"

He asked, "So when did you guys come here?"

Kelly answered, "Ed, like all the others, was drawn to this place. 
The urge came upon him right after you left. We came with him."

Ed nodded, "Yes. So we got in her car and came here. We were 
only about three hours behind you." 

"I wonder why it didn't come on you while I was there?"

Beth stated, "because you would have known something was up."

Ed concurred, "I think this was a trial that you had to go through 
without knowing the stakes."

John replied, "I guess that makes sense."

"Sure it does."

"So what am I supposed to do as Grand Druid?"

Kelly laughed, "Make love to your wives and husband as often as 
possible."

Beth commented, "Be your own lovable self."

Ed added, "Sit on your ass and make us do all the work!"

Kelly and Beth both hit Ed on the shoulder. John laughed, "For 
now, I think that the less I do the better."