JC: Ed Biggers
Part 5: Stasis
Chapter 22
By
Lazlo Zalezac
Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2004

The plans for the funeral evolved beyond anything that Ed could 
have imagined. The service was held outdoors in the park under 
the open air. The clear blue sky had turned a darker shade of blue, 
the mountains in the distance were sharp, and the wind was gentle. 
The temperature was not hot or cold, but comfortable. Everything 
combined to make it a perfect day for outdoor events. 

The park was filled with people dressed in their Sunday best. The 
casket was under a white canopy, surrounded by flowers of all 
kinds. Small vases were given the same exposure as the large 
arrangements. The aroma of the flowers floated through the air. 
The high school orchestra played music in the background. 

The hearse stood off to the side drawn by two black horses. It was 
black with glass panels along the side and back to allow the 
mourners to see the casket. The glass was etched with delicate 
flower patterns. Two brass lanterns, one affixed to each side of the 
front, reflected the sunlight. The driver was dressed in an antique 
undertaker's outfit loaned to the driver by the same museum that 
had loaned them the hearse.

The family sat as a group to the side. Ed, John, and Kelly wore 
their Druid Robes. Leroy wore a black suit with a black armband. 
Linda and Ling were dressed in plain black dresses. Little John 
wore the blue robe of an initiate. Beth wore a black dress in the 
same simple style of the dresses worn by their mothers. William 
wore a suit of the same cut as Leroy. Betsy was wearing a black 
jumpsuit. Dr. Hayes wore an old blue suit looking small and 
defeated. The staff sat behind the family as a group, the men 
wearing their suits and the women dressed in black. 

When the music died, the Presbyterian Minister walked to the 
podium as the music came to an end. He led the people gathered 
through a prayer. Looking around at the huge crowd, he said, 
"Elizabeth Hayes was a loving wife, mother, and member of the 
community. She touched the lives of many people and they were 
better for having known her."

Ed listened to the minister talk about Mrs. Hayes wondering how 
well the man actually knew her. Much of what he was saying was 
the generic kind of talk that one gave anyone that had managed to 
live over eighty years. At least he didn't make the mistake of 
calling her a grandmother, although the kids thought of her in that 
manner. He glanced over at Leroy observing the tears running 
down his cheeks. Of the whole family, Leroy was taking her death 
the hardest. Dr. and Mrs. Hayes had played a major role in his life 
when he first joined the family.

Dr. Hayes sat in his chair, his eyes fixed ahead seeing nothing. If it 
wasn't for his trembling hand on his cane, one could have mistaken 
him for a wax figure. It was hard to determine if he was hearing 
anything that was said. The man's behavior concerned Ed. It was as 
though he had given up on life and was waiting to die. 

Rather than a single eulogy, the family had decided to have three 
of them given by different people that had known her in different 
contexts. Ed had argued that Mrs. Hayes was a woman of subtle 
complexity. No one person could know all that there was to the 
woman.

Maria spoke as a neighbor and told stories about how she had 
helped her neighbors in the manner that kind people usually did. 
There had been more than one occasion in which Mrs. Hayes had 
sat up the night watching over the children of families that were in 
the midst of a crisis. The kids of the neighborhood had always felt 
free to come to her house for milk and cookies while telling her 
their problems of being young. She spoke of simple acts of 
kindness that anyone could perform, but few would take the time 
to do them. 

By the time that Maria had finished, there were few dry eyes in the 
crowd. She had reminded everyone of the debt that they owed the 
elderly woman. Even teenagers were in tears as they recalled the 
times spent visiting with her and the kindly advise she had given 
them. Ed had not been aware of those activities, knowing her as a 
family member that helped bring a longer-term perspective to life's 
problems.

The Mayor spoke about how Mrs. Hayes had volunteered so much 
of her time to making the town a better community. He mentioned 
the hard work and dedication that had been required to establish 
this park. Pointing to the gazebo, the playground, the baseball 
field, the soccer field, and the picnic area, he described how she 
had a vision that had become real. It was the high point of her 
service to the community. He announced how the town council had 
met the previous night and voted unanimously to have a statue of 
her erected in a corner of the park. The statue would show her 
watching over the park as a kind of guardian angle.

The announcement of the statue was greeted with murmurs of 
acceptance at the gesture and a smattering of applause. Ed glanced 
at Dr. Hayes and saw that the man didn't react at all to the news 
about the statue. His spirits fell, as he knew that the doctor had 
given up and would die within a few months. 

When Leroy stood up to speak, everyone sat up to listen to what he 
had to say. Despite how active the individual members of the 
family were in the town, few people understood what life inside 
the family was like. After taking a deep breath at the podium, 
Leroy said, "Once upon a time, generations of family lived 
together in a single town. Today that is rare except for a few towns 
like ours. It is a shame, because every generation needs to learn 
from the one that proceeded it."

He paused before asking, "How does one learn how to grow old 
gracefully without an example to follow? Who will tell you that 
retirement comes much sooner than you can believe? Who will be 
there to remind you that you did the same things as your children 
when you where their age?"

Looking around at the townspeople, he said, "When you live 
separated from the previous generation, the answer is no one. The 
key to the future lies in the past and for those of us who live 
separated from our parents, that key is denied us. We were 
fortunate the day that Dr. and Mrs. Hayes moved to our town. 
They brought us that key."

"From the very beginning, Mrs. Hayes gave us valuable insights. I 
often went with her to Phoenix when she was picking out the 
material for her new house. On the way we would talk about 
things. Much of it was about trivial stuff, such as how colors affect 
moods. Other things were much deeper. I remember one day when 
she said that personal comfort was easy, but providing comfort for 
a group of people was an art. Later I thought about it and realized 
that she had expressed a great truth."

"When I would start to get impatient, she would put a hand on 
mine and tell me to relax. She would remind me that the difference 
between some task taking five minutes and ten minutes was 
nothing in the span of a lifetime. Last month, when you waited in 
line to pay for something and the person at the register was slow, 
did the world stop because of the extra five minutes spent in line? 
No it didn't."

"She taught me to remember that we have time to achieve things 
and to smell the roses. I remember being worried about a 
particularly major exam one day. She had seen me growing 
increasingly more nervous. She told me that all things occur in 
their time and season. The season for getting prepared was over 
and that it was now the season to do. I should do and reap the crop 
that I had sowed over the past months whether it was a bumper 
crop or a disaster. In thinking about it, I knew she was right. Last 
minute cramming would only destroy the hard work that I had 
done over the full semester."

Leroy looked down at his notes and then back up at the people 
assembled before him. The elderly were smiling while the middle-
aged adults were nodding. He continued, "It is important to have 
grandparents. Who else will explain to a child why their parent is 
acting they way they are? Who will tell them the story about what 
happened to their parent at the child's age and how that affected 
them for life? Sure, grandparents spoil their grandchildren, but 
they also teach them important lessons of life."

"My parents live in Georgia. John's parent's are in Texas. Kelly's 
parents are in New Mexico. Ling, Linda, and Ed have all lost their 
parents. It was Mrs. Hayes who stepped in and provided those 
stories for our children. Our family needed her more than most. 
She was a mother to the adults and a grandmother to the children."

After a final pause, Leroy said, "We have come to honor Elizabeth 
Hayes, wife, mother, and grandmother. She loved us and we loved 
her. We mourn her passing with our hearts and souls."

Leroy walked back to his seat and sat down, exhausted by the toll 
the emotions of his talk had taken on him. As the minister led 
others through more prayers and a sermon taken from the Bible, 
Leroy cried. Ed put an arm around his husband to provide comfort 
and to let him know that he wasn't in this alone. 

When the sermon finished, six men from town stepped forward to 
carry the casket to the waiting hearse. It was a solemn procession 
that echoed across centuries, six men carrying a casket to a horse 
drawn hearse followed by the grieving family dressed in black. It 
only took a few moments to load the casket.

The driver jiggled the reins and the horse began to move at a slow 
pace. The family walked behind the hearse with the exception of 
Dr. Hayes. Bob drove a small tram that one of the people in town 
had located for the purpose of carrying the old and infirm to the 
graveyard that was a quarter of a mile from the park. The rest of 
the town followed behind them on foot. 

The service at the gravesite was very short as the minister read the 
famous 'Dust to dust' passage from the Bible. The casket was 
lowered to the ground and it was then time for the family to drop a 
handful of dirt into the grave as a last act of farewell. Leading the 
way, John went to the graveside and said, "Fare thee well, 
Elizabeth Hayes."

Kelly, Ed, and the children repeated the same statement when it 
was their turn at the grave. Leroy broke down and wept like a baby 
as he dropped a handful of dirt. Ling and Linda guided Dr. Hayes 
to the grave. With wooden movements, he dumped the dirt into the 
hole. It was hard to tell if he even knew what he was doing.

Once the graveside activities had finished, everyone headed to the 
high school where a feast had been prepared. The solemn mood 
lifted as people got closer to the gymnasium. Muted conversations 
became louder and the tinkle of laughter carried through the air. It 
reminded Ed how resilient the human spirit was. 

Nudging John, Ed stopped and waited for the kids. Ling held the 
leash to a harness that Betsy was wearing. Betsy was tugging on it 
trying to move faster than her mother was walking. The little girl 
had learned to walk recently and had gone from walking to running 
almost immediately. It was with more than a little relief that she 
turned the leash over to Kelly. 

Beth was walking with her boyfriend, John, and didn't want to be 
disturbed by the adults. When Little John and William reached 
them, the men picked the boys off the ground and carried them on 
their shoulders. The boys giggled, happy that their fathers were 
ready to play again. It was a short ride as the men set them down 
when they reached the school.

In the gym, long rows of tables were arranged as a communal 
eating area. The halls leading to the gym were filled with tables 
loaded with food that had been brought over by the townsfolk. The 
family moved through the halls loading up their plates with food. 
Near the door of the gym several men were slicing meat off a goat 
that had been cooked overnight in the ground. Ed took several 
slices, as this was a special treat that he only had about six times in 
his life. 

The family spread out over the gym to allow access to the most 
people. Ed, Ling, and William sat at one table. Dr. Connor joined 
them at the table after he had a very awkward conversation with 
John and Kelly. In fact, the entire day had been confusing for him. 
He had never seen an entire town turn out for a retired woman in 
the fashion that they had.

Once everyone had settled down and started to eat, William, in a 
very quiet tone of voice, said, "This is my first experience with 
death. I'm not sure what to think of it."

Surprised by the comment, Ling asked, "What do you feel?"

"I miss her already. Throughout the service, I kept thinking that 
she would have enjoyed hearing what people said about her. What 
Daddy Leroy said about grandparents sharing stories about our 
parents really struck me as wise. I am unhappy that I will never 
have the chance to talk to her about those kinds of things."

Nodding, Ed said, "That is perfectly natural."

"Yes, but that is not what confuses me."

There were times when the children absolutely amazed Ling 
concerning their maturity. It didn't seem normal to her that five-
year-olds should discuss death in such an adult manner. She asked, 
"What confuses you?"

"Grandfather will be dying soon, but I think that the funeral for 
him will be a very different affair. It will be much smaller. I don't 
understand why that will be the case."

The comment demonstrated William's keen insight into the world 
around him. Ed said, "Your grandfather is pulling away from life 
and making his peace with those around him. People will not feel 
the same need to say their farewells to him when he dies because 
they will have already done so. Many people come to a funeral to 
support those that live on rather than out of individual loss. They 
know that the person that needs support is your grandfather. When 
he passes, the need to support the rest of the family is pretty 
small."

"Oh," replied William as he thought about the answer. He glanced 
at the doctor sitting across the table from him and asked, "What are 
your impressions about dad's explanation?"

The doctor was taken by surprise at being asked the question. He 
had difficulty believing that the small child in front of him was 
discussing this matter in such an adult manner. It was a hard 
question to answer since he was confused by the funeral as well. 
He replied, "I suppose that his explanation is as good as any."

"That tells me nothing," replied William reassessing the doctor. 

The comment struck the doctor like a slap. He wasn't used to 
having people counter him in such a direct fashion. Stuttering, he 
replied, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

"You aren't used to having your authority challenged," replied 
William. That was a new phenomenon to him, since the Druid 
College was an area where every individual's grasp of facts was 
constantly challenged. He wanted to explore that more than his 
question concerning the funeral. Adopting the same expression of 
concentration that was common in the classroom, he asked, 
"Why?"

"I don't think you'll understand the reasons, boy." The doctor was 
tired of having the people of this town challenge his authority. 
Patients that balked at paying for medical services, rich people that 
didn't act rich, and children that didn't act like children confused 
him. 

Shocked at the answer, William asked, "On what grounds do you 
base your statement that I do not have the cognitive capability or 
capacity to understand what you say?"

Used to William's direct manner of questioning people, Ling 
covered her mouth to hide her smile from the flustered doctor. Ed 
leaned forward interested in how the exchange would continue. 
The doctor stared at William surprised that he even knew the word 
cognitive, much less used it correctly in a sentence. Deciding to 
put the child in his place, he relied, "You are, what …, five or six 
years old. You don't have the life experiences that would enable 
you to understand my answer. I suggest that you learn how to 
respect your elders."

"That's a specious argument," replied William. "First, my age has 
little to do with cognitive abilities. Second, you don't know what 
life experiences I have had. Third, your statement that I learn how 
to respect my elders suggests that such respect should be automatic 
and that I don't respect adults that are deserving of respect."

The doctor turned to Ed with a frown and said, "Your son is rude."

"Actually, I think he is right. He asked honest questions of you and 
you have consistently avoided answering him by claiming an 
authority that you haven't demonstrated."

The doctor bristled and said, "I am a medical doctor. I hold 
people's lives in my hands."

"That is a frightening thought," remarked William.

"Pardon?"

"You claim to hold people's lives in your hands, but you don't 
seem to want to know them," replied William as he stood 
dismissing the doctor. Turning to his father, he said, "I'm going to 
go outside to the playground."

"Okay, son," replied Ed. He looked over at his son as he walked 
away. Although he wouldn't say it aloud, he was very proud of his 
son's assessment of the doctor. It agreed with his assessment. 
Turning to face the doctor, Ed said, "I think that you have been 
judged and found wanting."

The doctor was furious by the child's statement and said, "How 
dare he judge me?"

Proud of her son's handling of the doctor, Ling answered, "I think 
he dared with great ease."

Ed leaned across the table and said, "You are angry because he 
nailed your attitude towards your patients."

"I didn't move here to be insulted like this," replied the doctor 
furious. 

"Why did you move here?" asked Ed knowing the answer. His 
gray eyes bore into the soul of the doctor with the kind of intensity 
that made dishonest people blanch.

The doctor looked at Ed and realized that he should be very careful 
in how he answered. The truth was that he thought he would move 
into a small town and become the big man in the community. That 
had not been the case. The woman that ran the bar had far more 
respect and power in the town than he had been able to acquire. 
The hostess at the Mexican restaurant seemed to carry more weight 
than he did. He answered, "Because I thought they needed me."

"And you automatically assumed that their need would translate 
into respect for your opinion in all things," commented Ed still 
staring at the doctor.

The doctor glanced down at the robe that Ed was wearing, 
reminded again that Ed was a Druid. His first encounter with Ed 
had been when Ed wasn't dressed as a Druid and he had forgotten 
with whom he was talking. Now, the robe, the intensity, and the 
manner in which Ed treated him made it impossible to ignore the 
fact that Ed was a Druid. The doctor answered, "Yes, that would 
follow."

"That doesn't follow," replied Ed. He added, "Manuel is the 
founder of a huge company that now covers the whole country. 
Would you respect his opinion in medicine?"

"No."

"So why should he respect your opinion about business? He 
respects Shirley and her opinion because she showed him how to 
treat his business as a business. I know you're thinking to yourself 
that she only owns a little bar in a small town. That doesn't detract 
from her skills as a businesswoman. She deals with payroll, taxes, 
and insurance just like businessmen everywhere."

The doctor raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair. Ed 
continued, "Or how about Rosa, the hostess of a restaurant? She's 
just a wife of a successful businessman. Her sister is the one that 
owns the restaurant. Why does she get the respect that you think 
you deserve? She's a tough, smart, and gifted woman. A lot of girls 
in this town owe their acceptance of themselves to her. She helps 
everyone to the best of her ability."

"Even the janitor at the high school is important in this town. He's 
on the city council and works hard to make sure that the voices of 
the poorer people are not ignored. Oh, he's also responsible for 
some of the toughest building codes in the state to assure that the 
character of the town doesn't change."

The doctor realized the lives of this town were a lot more 
connected than he could possibly have imagined. He wondered if 
he hadn't taken a prejudiced view of the people here. He replied, 
"Surely there are some that are more important than others."

Raising an eyebrow, Ed asked, "You mean like John or I?"

"Of course," replied the doctor.

"We play a very minor role in this community. People like us, but 
we don't influence events much at all," countered Ed. The family 
gave money to support community activities and personal advice 
to individuals, but did not control anything. None of the family sat 
on the city council or even supported candidates running for office. 
Changes in town came about because of the community members 
working for them. He asked, "Did you know that we are changing 
the façade of our house to be compliant with the new building 
codes?"

"You shouldn't have to do that," argued the doctor amazed that this 
family allowed others to place restrictions on them.

"We don't have to do it. We are doing it to be good neighbors."

"But you are rich."

Ed leaned back and asked, "Do you think that the people of this 
town would have gone through so much effort for this funeral if we 
used our money to control life here? I don't think so. We could 
have paid for the best orchestra in the country, but it wouldn't have 
meant half as much as the high school orchestra that did play at the 
funeral. Why? Because it was a gift."

Ling tugged on Ed's arm and said, "You had better circulate. I 
notice a few people would like to talk to you and I need to get 
Betsy to give Kelly a break."

Ed looked around and noticed a number of people looking in his 
direction as though afraid to interrupt the intense discussion. He 
smiled and waved to them to let them know he would be over there 
in a minute. He stood up and said, "Doctor Connor, it's been an 
interesting conversation. Oh, and one more thing that you might 
want to know is that William is about to graduate high school at 
the age of six."

Rising from her seat, Ling added, "We are trying to figure out what 
college he should attend in two years. For your information, all 
three of our kids have perfect scores on the SAT."

The doctor sat there stunned at the revelation. No wonder these 
parents listened seriously to their children. Winking, Ed said, "You 
might be pleased to know that this little town has the highest 
average SAT scores in the country."

The pair walked over to the group that had attracted their attention. 
It was the Martinez-Montoya family, a group marriage of four 
adults and eight kids. They had been neighbors and had extended 
each house to form a single residence. In fact, they were one of the 
first group marriages to form after the Carter Clan was formed. 
Carlos Montoya said, "Our family is very sad for yours."

"Thank you, Carlos. How are you and your family doing?"

"We are doing well. Juanita has started a new business and it is 
taking off."

Searching his memory, Ed had recalled hearing that Juanita 
Martinez had started a business. If he remembered correctly, it was 
a tanning salon in Phoenix. He said, "The tanning salon?"

"Yes, you knew?" asked Juanita surprised that Ed would bother to 
know anything about what she was doing. 

"I had heard that you were starting one," replied Ed. With a laugh, 
he added, "Even though I often sit out in the sun, I'm so pale I 
should probably come visit your place sometime."

In a light teasing voice, Ling said, "Ugly pale. So ugly that we 
don't want him naked."

Juanita smiled and remarked, "Of course that hasn't stopped you 
from getting him naked. I've heard stories about his package."

Ed blushed at having his cock discussed in such an open manner in 
front of the whole Martinez-Montoya family. Carlos laughed and 
said, "I think the two of you have embarrassed him."

Shaking his head, Ed said, "You get used to it when you're around 
my wives for any length of time."

Carlos shook his head and said, "You get used to it when you are 
around my wives too."

Ling and Juanita walked off to talk to each other with a little more 
privacy. Ed and Carlos watched them leave, puzzled at what they 
might want to discuss. Ed said, "By the way, I wanted to thank you 
for cooking the goat. I loved it."

"You're quite welcome. We only do that once a year for major 
family reunions."

Ed nodded and knew that it would be rude to beg for an invitation 
to a family reunion just to eat. He asked, "Would you mind telling 
Marguerite how to make it?"

"Marguerite?" asked Carlos with a false frown that slowly turned 
into a smile. "That's right. She's your chef. So is Shauna."

Ed returned the smile as he nodded his agreement. He said, "I 
would ask you to teach Shauna, but she's getting married and 
leaving us."

"Normally, I only grant the first two requests for my recipe and 
two people have already asked."

The look of dismay that crossed Ed's face caused the family to 
laugh. Puzzled by their reaction, he asked, "So who asked for the 
recipe?"

"Marguerite and Shauna," replied Carlos with a grin. "Don't let 
them know that I told you they are getting the recipe from me."

"Okay," replied Ed with a grin deciding that they were setting him 
up for a little joke of some sort. They would probably have him 
begging them to get the recipe. He could play that game as well as 
they could. After a thought, he asked, "Getting?"

"Yeah, I'm going to make it for Shauna's wedding party. They'll 
get the recipe then."

That was going to be fun. Ed was going to be able to tease them 
about the delay for a long time. He winked and said, "Why don't 
you let them know that you already gave me the recipe?"

Carlos looked at Ed and could tell that Ed was going to have fun 
with this if he gave him anything that Marguerite didn't already 
have. He said, "I'll give you the first half of the recipe. How's 
that?"

"Great," replied Ed.

"First you get a kid goat that is about eighteen pounds. Then you 
dig a deep pit and build a fire in it using dry hardwood. Once the 
fire has burned down to coals, you shovel pea gravel over them 
until you have a two-inch layer. I'll give you the rest of it later," 
replied Carlos with a grin.

"You gave me the part I already know," complained Ed.

Carlos winked and returned to his family. He called over his 
shoulder, "I know. Have fun teasing Marguerite and Shauna."

Ed laughed and shook his head as he searched out others that might 
want to talk to him. A large number of women were gathered 
around Shauna wanting to get details about the wedding. It was 
clear from the way the town was acting that everyone assumed 
they would be invited to attend. 

Spotting John across the room, Ed went over to join him. When he 
arrived, he said, "I think the guest list for Shauna's wedding has 
reached the same level as our first wedding."

John laughed and replied, "You're getting off cheap by paying for 
her family to show up. I agreed to feed everyone and make the 
arrangements for a location at which to hold the ceremony."

"You're just jealous that I got first pick," replied Ed with a wink.

"By the way, Sherry is looking for you," remarked John pointing in 
the direction in which he had last seen her.

"Oh, any idea why?" asked Ed as he watched Ling chasing down 
Betsy. The little girl was moving all out.

John smiled at how Sherry had phrased her request and replied, 
"Oh, she mentioned something about needing to play with a Doc 
Biggers Sex Toy."

Ed broke out in laughter and said, "I'll see you later."

The quiet hall of the school echoed with their footsteps as Ed 
followed Sherry to the other end of the high school building. She 
stopped in front of a classroom and beckoned him to follow her 
into the room. He followed her into the room after checking to 
make sure that the hallway was empty. Inside, Sherry knelt in front 
of him and lifted his robe over her head. With a quick pull, she 
dropped his briefs down around his feet, giving access to his cock. 

It only took her a minute to take his cock in her mouth. There was 
something sexy about feeling a cock come erect within her mouth. 
It was as though with each pulse of blood filling the organ, the man 
was surrendering his control of the situation over to her. She loved 
that sensation and rubbed herself getting excited.

When his cock had come fully erect, she was ready to go. Coming 
out from under his robe, she went to the desk and bent over while 
lifting her dress as her panties hit the floor. Looking over her 
shoulder, she said, "Give me that Doc Biggers Sex Toy!"

Lifting his robe so that it rested across her back, he plunged into 
her knowing that she was ready for him. She pushed back speeding 
his entry to where he filled her with the first stroke. She grunted 
and said, "Hard, I want it hard."

Ed began to pound into Sherry with strong vigorous strokes, 
pulling out to the point where his cock almost slipped out of her 
before shoving it back in. He loved it when she was like this, all 
fuck and no nonsense. Her large ass cushioned his thrusts as her 
whole body moved under him. Like many men, there was once a 
time when Ed had been disgusted by the thought of having sex 
with a fat woman. Experience with Sherry had dispelled that 
disgust as he found that he enjoyed the softness of the experience.

As Ed pounded into Sherry, the teacher's desk on which she rested 
herself slowly moved closer to the wall. Enjoying the sensation of 
getting fucked by a huge cock, Sherry was in heaven and wondered 
if he would come before the desk hit the wall. The thought 
triggered an orgasm. Ed followed right behind her, coming just 
before the desk hit the wall. His final thrust was met with an 
echoing bang.

Ed pulled out of Sherry and helped her to clean up using a 
handkerchief from his pocket. She said, "Thank you, so much. I 
really needed that."

Ed asked, "What brought that on?"

She turned and sat on the desk facing him as she answered, 
"Funerals always make me horny. It's as though the idea of death 
drives me to create life. I know, it's kind of sick."

That was a twist on attending a funeral that Ed had never heard 
before and wondered how common it was. He thought about it and 
answered, "I don't think it is sick. I was glad to be of help."

"You're a good man, Ed."