Marcie the Explorer 

(Mg, ped, cons)

Edited by Lance Vargas

   I knew I should have called earlier, but I did not expect to get into
town until much later.  University travel took me to St.  Louis, where my
son lives, and I had planned on having dinner with him the next evening after I
had settled into my hotel room.  But here I was at 4pm, four hours earlier,
and I knew I would feel guilty not letting him know I was here.  Already I
felt a small pang not telling him of this last-minute trip beforehand.  So
I rang him up.

   Voice mail picked up so I left him a message telling him what's up and
asking if he had plans for the evening.

   My cell rang just a couple of minutes later.  It was Josh.

   "Hey Dad," he began, "you're really in town?" I knew he would be
surprised as I hadn't seen him since Christmas, not long after the divorce.
Fortunately, he was able to spend the holidays with me with Jacob in tow. I
made sure that Santa was over generous to my only grandchild.

   "Yes sir," I answered, "just touched down a few minutes ago, actually.
On my way to the Marriott to check in."

   "You're seeing someone near the airport?"

   "No, this is where Prudence booked me.  Actually have a project starting
at Wash U."

   "Well, damn, Dad, I wish I would have known.  You could have stayed
here."

   "Yeah, I know, but this was so sudden..."

   "You could still stay here, you know, if you can cancel.  Except..."

   "No, it's ok.  And you probably already have plans."

   "Yeah, that's what I was going to say.  Meghan and I are going out
tonight..."

   "Meghan?"

   "Yeah, she's a friend of mine, and I've got tickets to a concert
tonight."

   "You're dating already?"

   "Dad, come on.  Yeah, of course.  Anyway, I have Jacob for a couple of
days, and I already have a sitter lined up for tonight..."

   "Wait!  You're going to get a sitter for my grandson when I'm in town.
I'm coming over."

   "Dad, wait, Meghan's daughter is here, too.  The sitter will be taking
care of both of them."

   "Oh, well, ok.  No problem.  Listen, I'll go check in and give you a
call tomorrow.  Maybe you and Jacob and I can have dinner tomorrow night."

   "Dad, why don't you just come over and stay here.  The sitter's a great
lady, and I know she wouldn't mind you being here."

   "I don't want to get in anyones way..." I said more to avoid meeting a
"great lady" than to be nice.  Josh has taken the opportunity to set me up
with "women my age" for a couple of years, when in reality, I'm not the
least bit interested in women my age.

   "Don't be silly.  I can't wait to see you.  I'm on my way home now too.
Jacob, say hi to grandpa."

   I heard Jacob on the other end get excited as only a five-year-old can.
And I got excited knowing I would see him in a few minutes, too.

   We hung up, and I steered the rental West.  This would work out
perfectly since he lived not far from the university, and I wouldn't have
to contend with that much morning traffic.

   Before I reached his neighborhood my phone rang again.  It was Josh.

   "Dad, I got a humongous favor to ask."

   "How humongous?"

   "My babysitter crapped out this evening, and I hate to ask this, but
could you...  would you mind terribly staying with Jacob and Marcie
tonight? I'm only asking this because I got Jimmy Buffett tickets, and
well...  damn, I sound selfish."

   "Oh don't be silly," I interrupted.  "I do anything for a few hours with
my grandson.  But what about your girlfriend's little girl?"

   "She'll be fine.  I already talked to Meghan.  And Marcie's very
personable for a 7-year-old.  You guys will get along just fine.  And she
loves Jacob like a little brother."

   "Whoa, sounds serious!"

   "Dad, you know what I mean.  Anyway, I'll owe you big time for this. 
Man, I hate that you come to town and I ask you to do this."

   "Son, like I said.  Don't feel bad about it.  I really would love to do
it."

   When I stepped out of the car on the driveway Jacob burst out of the
house with his dad reprimanding him in the background.

   "Grandpa!" he screamed as he jumped in my arms.  I got the biggest bear
hug from that little fireball.

   I gave my son a one-armed hug while hoisting Jacob.  Actually he was
holding me tightly.

   We were sitting on the couch with a Guinness catching up when the
doorbell rang.  Meghan and Marcie had arrived with luggage.  At that moment
I realized it was a bit more serious than just dating.

   Meghan was gorgeous, of course.  My son has an eye for the ladies, and
it was apparent that Marcie would follow in her mother's footsteps except
where her mother was a brunette, Marcie had a long blonde ponytail.  She
was cute as a button and could have been a child model.  And Josh was
right, she was very intelligent and could hold quite a conversation with
adults, even this old adult.

   Meghan watched our interaction and later told Josh that Marcie was very
comfortable with me, so it was ok for me to stay with her.  Apparently,
Meghan had reservations about this old grandpa watching kids.  Not like I
hadn't watched four of my own before.

   Finally Meghan seemed comfortable enough with me to open up a bit.

   "I would have never known you were Josh's dad, I swear," she said to me
as we sat on the sofa together.

   "You don't think we favor one another?" I asked.

   "No, there's a strong resemblance, but you looked like you would be his
older brother or something."

   I had to laugh, "Sweetheart, that's a line that I use on women to sell
them something."

   "Oh, I'm serious.  I didn't mean it as a line or being funny..." She was
flustered.

   "Hah, I didn't mean to rattle you, but thank you for the compliment."

   She really was beautiful and even more so when she was blushing.

   "So if you're Jacob's grandpa I guess that means you'll be mine, too,
right?" Marcie surprised me by jumping in my lap.

   "MARCIE!" cried her mother.

   "For tonight I'm your grandpa, too.  OK?" I comforted the little girl.

   "Goodie!" And just like that she jumped off my lap seemingly satisfied
with my answer.

   "I just don't know about her," Meghan tried to nervously explain.

   "She's a beautiful little girl.  Don't even worry about it."

   "Thank you, but she can be a handful, just let me warn you.  You'd be
surprised at what comes out of her mouth sometimes."

   "I've survived Josh's two sisters, I think I still remember a thing or
two about little girls." I chuckled.

   "Well you did a fantastic job with Josh.  I've never met someone as kind
and courteous as him.  Not to mention good looking like his dad." She
winked at me.

   "Twenty-five years ago I might have been in competition with him for
such a pretty girl," I winked back.

   We talked for a bit more until it was time for them to get ready.  They
were leaving at eight and the kids would be heading for bed at 8:30.  So my
evening would be my own.  Even though I would be alone I was happy to be
here than in a hotel room without a doubt.

   The kids kissed and hugged their respective parents good night and I
followed them to the door as they left.  For just a brief moment I got a
pang as I watched them leave.  It reminded me of my wife and I going out
when the kids were young.  The heart will always grieve a lost love, and
little things like that bring it to the surface again.

   SpongeBob was blaring, and I walked into the living room to see two
little zombies focused on the big screen.

   "Anybody want a snack?  I'm making popcorn."

   Neither one made a sound or even acknowledged my presence.

   But when I walked in with the big bowl they immediately parted on the
sofa and let me sit between them.  They almost literally dove into the bowl
looking like two starved waifs who couldn't stuff enough popcorn into their
mouths.  Popcorn was flying everywhere.

   "You're going to have to clean up this mess," I warned.

   And in a heartbeat they were off the sofa picking up the popcorn that
had spilled and popping it into their mouths.

   "Hey, that's dirty!" I reprimanded them.

   "No, it's not," said Jacob.  "See?" And he popped another kernel into
his mouth.

   Marcie was keeping up pretty good too.

   I lifted the bowl and asked if they had picked up everything.

   "Nope, one right here," Marcie said and she picked up one right in my
crotch.  The sudden motion and the feel of her hand there caused me to
jump, but I hoped neither one noticed.

   "Sorry," she smiled as she chewed.  She noticed.

   When I put up the empty bowl I told them "Bedtime in 10 minutes.  If you
brush your teeth now I'll let you stay up an extra five."

   Jacob hit pause on the remote, and they both vanished into the bathroom.

   Then it dawned on me, I didn't even know where Marcie was going to
sleep? In Jacob's room?  In the spare room where I was?  And where was
Meghan staying?  I didn't ponder that question further.

   Jacob was back almost too quickly.

   "Let me see them teeth" I said.  And he opened his mouth wide, sticking
out his tongue.  Yeah, he smelled like toothpaste but I knew that trick
about swallowing a little bit.  So I inspected his teeth closely.  They
passed.

   Marcie saw what I was doing and volunteered her open mouth for
inspection as well.  I told her it looks good to me.  She then stuck out
her tongue and licked the top of my finger that was on her chin.  Then she
winked at me.

   What a strange little girl.  But I guess she was lonesome for attention.
I never asked Josh about the father situation thinking that was none of my
business right now.

   I sat on the sofa and they laid down next to me and each other facing
the television.

   Then Marcie said to Jacob "Hey if you put your head like this you can
see better." And she propped her head on my leg.  I brushed her hair.

   Jacob imitated her, and I brushed his head as he lay against me too.

   It wasn't five minutes more before Jacob was out.  Marcie continued
watching tv.

   I finally whispered to her "Sweetheart, I'm going to put Jacob in his
room."

   She lifted her head so I could get up, and I gently lifted Jacob.  I put
him in his bed and made sure he was covered.

   I walked back into the living room and announced, "I'm going to take a
quick shower.  Are you ok?"

   She just nodded at me and not even looked my way.

   I did make it a quick shower and in five minutes I was back the living
room and ready for bed myself.

   "Where are you going to sleep?" I asked her.

   "I usually just sleep on the sofa right here, if that's ok." she
answered.

   "Usually?" I thought.  This is a lot more serious than I knew.

   "Well, ok, I'm going to sit in this chair...." and I made a motion
toward the recliner.

   "No, please come back.  I liked laying on you." She finally turned and
looked at me.

   I shrugged my shoulders and turned to sit back where I was before, and
she firmly planted her head on my thigh again.

   She then grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels
until she came across this teen show about high school witches or
something. I wasn't keeping track since I was a bit tired myself.

   I mindlessly thumbed through the Readers Digest that was on the end
table while the tv droned in the background.  I was very comfortable with
this little girl resting against me, and I thought she was falling asleep.

   Before I knew it I was dozing off, too, when all of a sudden I hear her
say, "Your wee-wee is hard."

   "What?" was all I managed to choke out.  I was embarrassed beyond belief
to know that the stimulation of the back of her head against me caused me
to get an erection, and my mind desperately looked for a way to get out of
the situation.

   "I said your wee wee is hard.  See?" And she reached back with her
little hand and squeezed my solid penis directly.

   I stifled the huge reflex to jump from my seat, but reached and took her
hand away from my penis.

   "Who told you about 'wee-wees' geting hard, and don't you know you
shouldn't say that?"

   "Why not?  It is hard, isn't it?  Anyway, my Daddy told me about them
getting hard.  His did all the time."

   Before I could check myself, my curiosity blurted out "You felt your
Daddy's wee-wee get hard?"

   "Oh yeah, a lot when I could see him.  Before he went to jail and now I
can't see him anymore."

   "Because he's in jail?"

   "No, not no more.  But I'm not allowed to see him again."

   "Was it because you touched his wee-wee?"

   "Yeah, probably.  Mommy got all upset and everything and I guess that
started it all."

   So Dad's a pervert huh, I thought to myself.  Poor little girl.  She's
probably scarred for life, and that asshole deserves to be sitting in jail.

   "Yours feels bigger than his," she exclaimed as she quickly squeezed me
again.

   I jumped this time.

   "Marcie, you can't do that!" I yelled.  "You'll get me in trouble too!"

   "Oh I would never tell anybody ever again." she explained.

   "That's not what I mean.  It's not right for a little girl to touch a
man or a boy right there."

   "Why not?" she turned over and rested on her elbows looking into my
eyes.

   "Because it's just not right.  That's a private area.  Didn't your
mother teach you about private areas?"

   "Oh yes, she did" And she immediately bounced up on her knees and pulled
her panties down to show me.

   "MARCIE!" I yelled again.  "Your private area is private!  Do you now
what that means?  It means it's only for you and not to share with anyone."

   "But my Daddy really liked when I touched his wee-wee.  He said it made
it bigger and harder."

   This was going to be an uphill battle with this poor little girl with a
warped sense of sexuality.  But I was surprised at my prurient interest in
wanting to listen to her talk more about it.

   "What did he do to you?" I asked carefully.

   "What do you mean?" she looked puzzled.

   "I mean did he touch you too?  In your private place?" I grew bolder.

   "No, he never ever touched me right there.  But he loved me and he
kissed me and would hug me tight." She looked lost in a memory.

   I took the opportunity to sit back on the sofa.

   "I don't know why everybody got so mad," she continued.  "He never hurt
me at all.  He loved me.  He told me that."

   "When did you start touching him?" My prurient desires were driving my
brain now.

   "I dunno.  I guess when I was five.  Daddy was living at his house and I
would go and stay with him sometimes."

   "They were already split up?"

   "Huh?  Oh yeah, Daddy moved out when I was three or four.  I don't even
remember.  I don't remember him at our house really."

   "So he just made you touch his wee-wee?"

   "No, not at first.  I mean it was an accident the first time.  That was
when Cheryl was at his house that time."

   "Who's Cheryl?"

   "That was his girlfriend then.  She worked at Hooters I think.  She had
big boobies.  I saw them in his bedroom and they didn't have any clothes
on. When Daddy saw me he jumped out of bed and told me to go back to bed.
He walked me to my room and I saw his wee-wee and it was hard and bouncing
up and down when he walked.  I asked him what it was and he told me it was
his wee-wee.  I remember I said that was a funny name and that it looked
funny.  I still think it's a funny name, but I don't think it looks funny
anymore."

   "Did you wonder why it was hard and sticking out?" And as I asked his I
felt my erection growing firmer again.

   "I thought it always stuck out then.  But now I know it's when a man
likes a girl that it sticks out.  Do you like me?" she asked as she looked
at the front of my shorts which were tenting out.

   "I do like you," I said.

   "Did you make it hard because you like me?"

   "I don't know.  I think you just made it hard."

   "How did I do that?"

   "Well, just because you were talking about it, I guess.  And when you
touched it it did get harder."

   "Like this?" and she reached and gave me another squeeze.

   This time I didn't jump but enjoyed the sensation of her little hand
against my erection.

   "Wow, it's very big.  It feels much bigger than my Daddy's."

   "But it's been a while since you touched your Daddy's."

   "Yeah, but I remember.  His wasn't that big.  Can I see it?" she asked
innocently.

   "Oh, I don't think I should do that.  Touching was enough."

   "Please?  I swear to God I won't tell anybody.  Not anybody.  Not even
my Mommy." she pleaded.

   "Still, Darling, it's not right.  You don't even know me or if I'm a bad
man." I warned.

   "I know you and you're a good man!  You didn't hurt me and I don't think
you're going to hurt me, right?"

   "You are absolutely right.  I would never hurt such a pretty little
girl." I petted her pretty blonde hair.

   "Then can I see it?" she blurted excitedly.

   "Oh, Sweetie," I said with a strained voice.  "Wait here."

   I ran to check on Jacob who was sleeping peacefully.  Then I made sure
that all doors were locked, window shades were pulled and glanced at the
clock.  8:50.  Safe.

   I sat back down on the sofa next to her and she looked at my crotch with
her face in her palms resting on her elbows.

   With a sharp exhale I lifted my butt from the sofa and quickly pulled my
shorts to my knees.  My "wee-wee" immediately sprang back up, and I watched
her face as her eyes grew wide and her mouth gaped open.

   "Oh my god, I knew it was bigger than Daddy's!" she exclaimed.  "It
looks like it's breathing.  Why is it all red on the end?"

   "Wasn't your Dad's red like that?"

   "No, his was the same color all over.  Yours looks purple it's so red!
Look how it bounces!"

   I swear I could have reached an orgasm just by her staring at my penis
so intently.  I also noticed that she was breathing hard, too.

   "You have a lot of hair, too!  And on your legs, too.  Wow, all over! 
My Daddy didn't have a lot of hair like that.  Just a little bit right
there," she said moving her hand beneath my shaft and touching my lower
belly.

   "Can I?" she moved her hand over my penis.  I couldn't answer.

   Her touch was so electrifying that the shock actually prevented me from
having an orgasm right then.  She had done this before because she knew
where to touch.

   "It kind of looks like it's mad.  I know it's bigger than my Daddy's now
because his could fit in my mouth, and I know I couldn't put this in my
mouth."

   The thought of what she said made me shudder.  She performed oral sex on
her dad.  And my immediate thought was would she do it to me?

   "Why did you put your Dad's in your mouth?" I had to ask.

   "To milk him, Silly.  That's one of the ways I would milk him.  Daddy
said that Mommy's milk comes out of her boobies but, Daddy's milk comes out
of his wee wee," she explained so innocently.

   "And sometimes I would just milk him with my hands.  That's my favorite
way because I can see the milk come out."

   "Does this hurt?" she asked me innocently.

   "Not a bit." I managed to croak.

   "Do you want me to take off my clothes, too?"

   "Why?  Do you want to take off your clothes?" I asked.

   "Daddy would make me take off my clothes so I didn't get any of his milk
on them.  But then he would make me drink it so it didn't matter.  But I
liked taking off my clothes with him."

   Just listening to her what she was saying was driving me insane.  I
called her father a pervert, and here I am enjoying the same pleasures he
did.  I must be perverted too.

   She released my penis long enough to shimmy out of her nightgown and
panties, and sat next to me completely nude.

   "Do you want to take off your clothes too?" she asked.

   I thought about checking on Jacob again, but she grasped my erection
again, which caused me to stay right where I was.

   I pulled off my t-shirt and stood up to take my shorts off completely.
She stood up with me.

   "You have hair all over your chest too!  Golly, look, your wee-wee
reaches the top of my head."

   She came closer to me and put her hands on my chest digging her small
fingers in my curly hair.  But I immediately noticed she held the tip of my
erection right between her eyebrows.  Then she wrapped both arms around my
legs and hugged me tightly, her face snuggled right up against my penis and
scrotum.

   "Your sack is huge, too," she said from below.  "I can see your balls;
they're big too," and she nudged them with her chin.

   "Careful," I whispered.

   "I know." she said.

   "Do you want to see if I can put it in my mouth?" she asked as she
grasped it once more.

   "If you want" is what I said.  What I wanted to say is yes, oh yes,
please just please put it in your mouth.

   I watched as she opened her mouth as wide as she could and placed her
lips on my glans.  The shining purple helmet against her lily white skin
was almost shocking.  She tried to fit as much of it in but was only able
to mouth about half of the head.  That was enough for her.  She began
moving her head back and forth and sucking on the end.  I felt her other
hand gently massaging my shaft back and forth.

   Before I could warn her or even say a word I felt my balls begin to
churn and from deep within my depths an orgasm swelled.  Even though I
couldn't tell her I knew she was ready for what was to come because she
braced herself by widening her stance and holding on tight to my shaft with
both hands.

   My semen shot into her with such force that it should have knocked her
back, but instead she forced more of me into her mouth and held on tightly.
And that only caused me to shoot even more forcefully into her.  I heard
her sniff and cough, but she never moved her head.  I emptied myself down
her throat, and she never winced.

   Finally the feeling was too intense to let her touch me further, so I
gently pushed her shoulders away, and her mouth separated from my glans. 
She breathed heavily.  My erection subsided only slightly; I felt like a
teenager again.

   "Oh, Marcie, wait.  It's too sensitive to touch." I warned.

   It was as if she knew.  And she kept her mouth away, but still held on
to my shaft with both hands.

   "Your milk tastes very good," she finally said.

   "I'm glad," I answered.  "I need to sit down, please."

   I leaned back towards the sofa and dropped back onto it causing her to
release her grip.

   "Can I sit on you?" she looked at me with pleading eyes.

   "Of course you can.  Come up here; just be careful."

   It was a shock when she jumped up on me, but instead of sitting in my
lap she placed both legs on either side of my hips and placed my penis
directly between her legs against my stomach.

   "I love you, you know." she said as she looked in my eyes.

   "Marcie.  Remember, you can't tell anyone about what we did.  And I love
you, too." I said as sternly as I could.

   "Oh, I would never tell anyone.  I promise!  I never want to get you in
trouble.  You're getting hard again."

   She was right.  I looked between us and saw my member again standing
straight up.

   "I don't think I can swallow anymore." she almost cried.

   "Oh, Darling," I hugged her.  "I would never make you do anything you
don't want."

   And as I hugged her I rocked her back and forth, soon realizing the
effect on me.  But what I didn't realize was the effect on her.

   "That feels good," she cooed.

   "You like that?" I asked continuing to rock her back and forth across my
penis.

   "Yes," she said, and I felt her hips begin to rock back and forth.

   "Hold on," I said, and I moved my butt down on the sofa and laid more
horizontally.

   I held on to her little hips and moved her backwards and forwards across
my erection.  I watched her eyes close halfway as her little blonde head
bobbed back and forth.  She was lost in the moment as pleasure overtook
her.

   "Oh, I can't do that anymore, it's starting to hurt." she cried.

   "Is it hurting or does it feel too good?" I asked.

   "I don't know, but I gotta stop." She backed away from my penis.  The
stimulation was apparently too much for her.

   "Can I do this?" she asked as the grabbed my erection in her hands
again.

   "You can do whatever you'd like," I replied as I closed my eyes and
rested my head.

   "It's been a long time since I did this," she said excitedly as she
began to masturbate me.

   Again, she knew exactly what she was doing and how to do it because she
was an expert at it.  So gentle yet so forceful.  I don't think I've had
another adult give me such pleasure with their hands.  And here a small
child is coaxing another orgasm out of me.

   "I think he's ready," she said, and she was right because before I knew
it I was spewing all over my chest.  It was not as forceful as before, but
it was prolific.  It was all over me and her hands.

   Instead of avoiding the area she leaned down and hugged my chest tight.
I looked down at her, and she looked at me.  Then we kissed.  I've never
kissed a child like that before, and likely will never again.  It was an
adult kiss.  It was a private kiss between lovers.  It was also a kiss that
a 50-year-old should never have with a 7-year-old.  But it happened.

   She laid her head against my neck beneath my chin.  I realized that what
I was tasting was my own semen that was in her mouth.  That was a first for
me.  Of course, this was a night of firsts for me.

   I glanced at the clock, and it was 9:30, and tomorrow was a school day.
That sounded so strange to me that I just violated this small child, and
now I was worried about her getting enough sleep so she would have a good
day in school.

   "Marcie, you need to take a bath," I instructed her.

   I grabbed our clothes that had been strewn about and lead her to the
bathroom.

   The tub was filled, and I gently picked her up and placed her in it.  I
then got in myself.  I scrubbed her gently with a soapy washcloth paying
particular attention to her chest and groin to insure that no semen
remained.  I then washed myself.  She remained passive.  I could tell she
was tired.

   A put her gown back on, and now she was ready for bed.  I tucked her
into the bed in my room and kissed her goodnight.  She sleepily told me she
loved me again.  I told her I loved her as well and to get some sleep.

   The sofa would be my bed this evening so I gathered an extra pillow and
blanket from the hall closet.

   I didn't hear when Josh and Meghan came home, but when I awoke in the
morning the girls were already gone.  Josh explained they had gone home
when they got back.  He wanted to wake me up to go to bed but I looked
comfortable where I was.  Indeed I was.

   All of this happened a bit more than 10 years ago, but I was reminded of
it recently.

   My project in St.  Louis lasted for a few months so I had an opportunity
to stay with my son on a few more occasions.  And each time Marcie and I
found time to be alone together.  But with each successive visit the
attachment became much more than physical for me.

   When Josh called one day and told in passing that he and Meghan decided
to call things off I remember being literally heartsick.  Jacob had a tough
time losing his friend, but I had no idea how Marcie took the news that she
would never see me again.

   What brought all of this back was when I paid a visit to Josh and his
wife about a month ago.  One morning I fetched the newspaper and saw this
beautiful girl on the local sports page who was offered a softball
scholarship at a local university.  It was Marcie.

   Another article noted that her school had a game that afternoon and she
was starting pitcher.  I decided to take a chance and take in a ball game.
I also decided that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to talk to her, but
I would still like to see her - to see what type of person she had become.

   She was more beautiful than ever, and even more attractive than her
mother was.  But it was easy to see what the scouts saw in her.  She was
quite formidable on the mound - power with grace.  It was a sight to see,
and I soaked in every moment, of course, while thinking about our time 10
years ago.

   She pitched the entire game, and they trounced their opponent handily.
My heart swelled as I watched her team rush the mound to embrace her and
the celebration began.

   I sadly left my seat for the parking lot, but as I passed the dugout
gate I heard a voice crying to me, "Grandpa, Grandpa?" as if questioning.

   Turning to look I saw it was Marcie breaking the embrace of one of her
teammates as they were leaving the field.

   I smiled at her and said "Hello, Marcie."

   "Oh my god," she screamed and ran to embrace me in a not too gentle hug.

   Sitting and drinking a soda together in a small cafe I asked again if
she didn't want to go and celebrate with her friends.  She assured me she
would rather be with me than anywhere else in the world right now.

   I felt flattered but also sad that I could not have been part of this
girl's life except for those perverted acts I allowed.

   Apparently, she had other thoughts completely.  She explained how sad
she was that her mom and Josh never got together, but she and Jacob were
still friends in school, even though he was a couple of years behind her.
But she was very sad that she never saw me again.

   Neither of us addressed the elephant in the room until she said spoke
up.

   "I never told anyone you know," she said with her head bowed somewhat
and looking up at me.

   "You don't know how grateful I am for that.  I probably would still be
in jail," I murmured.  "I'm sorry I did that; you have no idea how sorry I
am."

   "Oh my god, I'm not sorry at all!  You could have been a monster to me,
but instead you were so gentle.  That's all I remember was how good you were to me.
I was a very lucky little girl.  And just so you know, I've never done
anything like that ever again."

   She paused, and I was wondering if I should say anything.

   "The reason...," she began and then stopped.  "The reason I never did
that again was because I was waiting for you.  I know this sounds so silly
coming from a little girl, but I told you I loved you and I meant it.  I
know now that you probably didn't mean it, too, but it was very special to
me."

   My heart was in my throat.

   "Marcie, when I would tell you I loved you I really meant it then.  Just
like now." I abruptly shut up fearing I said too much.

   There was an awkward silence, and we both strained not to look at one
another.

   Then Marcie looked at the table and played with the wrapper from her
straw and said, "I got another scholarship offer today..."

   She paused for effect, "...  from TCU." She kept her head low but looked
upwards at me seeing the surprised look on my face.

   "In Fort Worth?" I asked stupidly wondering if there's another TCU.

   "Yeah," she half smiled.

   "I, uh, I live like a couple of blocks off campus, did you..."

   She cut me off with a nod of her head.

   "If you need a place to stay..." and I stopped myself.  The offer was
superfluous.

   She grabbed my hands across the table and looked at me.  The door to the
cafe opened and a man came in.  We both glanced sideways, and she suddenly
said, "I have to go.  I'm sorry.  My coach."

   We stood up and hugged as if we would never see each other again.  So we
quickly exchanged phone numbers "just in case," and I kissed her on the top
of her head and told her goodbye.

   I watched her go talk to her coach, and I left without further fanfare.
My heart was so heavy and conflicted that I didn't know what to think.  I
sat in my car for at least two minutes before driving away.

   The text message tone shook me out of my funk and I pulled over in a
restaurant parking lot thinking Josh needed me to stop by a store on the
way home.

   I sat and looked at the text on the screen.  I felt my face flush and
the gloom from my heart lift.  I read it again and again:
   "I accepted TCU.  See you soon!"



---

Read all stories in Lance's library at
/~Lance_Vargas