Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. Normal!!, what is normal in the 21st century, whether Male or female we all enjoy fantasies and fantasizing about sex. As for my writing, I wouldn't say I write as I do in my diary blog, factual writing about my life and how I want to live. Names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved. Most of the story is based on my diary, Some of the details have been changed to protect people's privacy. ----------------------- Scroll down to view Chapter 25 Kill the Basterd by Christina Carey skip1990@gmail.com I am lying naked on my bed with a gun Ricky bought for me, I tell myself I got the gun for protection from Ricco. My dead husband, well, he's not dead, a few times I wished I had killed the bastard. It's a dark place where I reside, it haunts my soul what I am considering doing, shooting my boss's brother, he will leave me no alternative if he abuses like he did I Rome. I have a gun in my bag andi know how to use it thanks to Ricky, Not since my marriage and my ass of a husband, have I been so scared out of my skin. I kept silent for so long thinking it would get better and the abuse would get better once we had a child. He blamed me, telling me I was infertile, all along it was his the seedless prick. Now Ricco haunts my sanity, he reminds me of my ex, a part of me wants to put the gun to my own head, and end my life, I can't seem to shake off the abuse, It follows me like a curse, If I shoot myself now, It will all end. A volcanic surge starts to rise within me, there inside my head, a voice chanting driving me crazy over and over again, like a broken fucking record it repeated all the reasons why the world would be better off with me gone, It's cutting through my head, the chant, the numbness, as reached every corner of my brain, now I am starting to panic, the deep depression as simply overwhelmed me, My conscience started to fade the end is near and I place the gun to my head, I have lowered my standard of men I am willing to sleep with, Ricco is trying to break me, and I think he has fucking succeeded in pushing me over the edge or why else would I be considering pulling the trigger. Fuck, Nausea, wanting to throw up, hot sweats, it's the drugs that as weakened my resolve, I have overdosed on the cocaine. I quickly make a dash for the bathroom where I throw up, I was there for what seemed like hours, I thoughti was never going to stop. When I finally felt like the vomiting had stopped, I reached inside the medicine cupboard and gulped down some gravol, It's helped me before, stops to stop me wanting to vomit. It kinda worked the wanting to vomit slowed after a few minutes and i lay down on the bed, panic over, I usually manage my drugs well, I must be full of emotional empathy, fuck who am I kidding its Ricco's doing. I was out of it for an hour or so, and woken by banging on my door, and I couldn't breath, I knew it couldn't possibly be Ricky, he spends one weekend a month at his sister's place in Vancouver. There was a hand covering my mouth and another shaking my shoulder, startling me out of a drug induced sleep. A thousand frantic thoughts dashed through my mind in the space of a single heartbeat.what the fuck was happening to me. Was this worst nightmare was coming true. They're here! They've come for me! My eyes dash wildly around the dark room until Judy's face came into focus, she let go and I stepped back to fall on the bed, my heart still pounding. "Carla, I couldn't wake you up". " Yeah, you fucking scared the crap out of me, standing over me like that", I yelled pulling my tank-top to make myself half decent, " Hey, who died?", Judy has never come to my apartment. " I was knocking on your door for twenty minutes, I knew you was in, I could hear the music?". " Yeah, I must have fallen asleep, I wasn't expecting anyone to knock at my apartment at 2am on a Sunday. " Are you OK, you look like crap Carla?". " Well, that's a fine greeting Judy". " Well, you do, you look like death warmed up". " Make yourself at home Judy, what brings you here at this time in the AM!". She wraps her arms around my waist and plants her cheek firmly on my shoulder, I can't see the tears, but I hear her sobbing on my shoulder, Its quite unnerving and I am wondering what as happened since Friday night. " OK, tell me what he did to you Judy!", I knew she was out on a date with Bruce, she almost bragged she had a date with him. "It's Bruce, he dumped me this afternoon, He said he was going back to his wife, they are to try and make anothergo at their marriage". She finally released her death grip from around my waist and fell onto the bed face first. " What's this Carla!", she asked, holding up my gun in her hand, I must have let it drop on the bed wheni was puking. " It's just my gun". " Who sleeps with a gun under their pillow, not you Carla,Oh!, crap you were considering suicide, that's why you look like crap". " No, no!, It was the drugs". " You tried to kill yourself with drugs, this is bad is this Carla", she said, picking up a bottle of empty painkiller, and three empty bags of coke. " No you don't understand, let me explain, I took the drugs, yes, painkillers are prescribed for my migraines, coke, well painkillers weren't working so I topped up with coke, guess I over did it with the coke". " The bottle empty Carla!". " I know, I didn't take the whole bottle Judy". " Then what about the gun, explain why it was laying on your bed, look me in my eyes and tell me you wasn't considering suicide!". " OK, maybe suicide was in my head Judy, but it was the drug combination that got me depressed". " And why do you have a gun in the first place!". I buried my head in my pillow and explained, the gun was for protection from Ricco, she knew about the abuse he inflicted on me while we were together in Rome, but not to the extent of what he inflicted on me, I lifted mytank-top over my head exposing the bruising that were two weeks old, and now turned a purple colour. I pulled out a makeup remover wipe's from my bedside table, and removed what was left of my makeup. " This is what Ricco did to me Judy", My face and neck was a mass of bruises from the strangulation and Ricco continual slamming me against the elevator wall. " I had no idea it was that bad Carla, you covered up the bruises very well with the makeup". Judy crawled beside me on the bed and started to examine my bruises, a few were still sore, especially the bruises where he broke two of my ribs. " He did quite the number on you, I hope you pressed charges!". " Nope, it happened in Rome, I would have had to stay in Rome, I just wanted to get home, I told Dennis, he more or less laughed it off". " A sick pair of bastards they are Carla". Judy's position was a work of art, lying beside me on her side, knees pulled up underneath mine, It was then I realized she had undressed, her exposed vagina pushed against my ass, her soft delicate hands cupped my breasts careful,sensuous strokes like a soft paintbrush caressing my bruises. My body vibrates and an uncontrolled soft moan escapes from lips, she must have done this for over an hour, I must have fallen asleep to her touch. I woke up facing her, unconsciously tantalizing contours of her ass, I see her smiling back at me, she is still painting me with her soft touches, I intertwine my legs with hers, and our vagina's meet, one of us are wet. I feel the wetness dribble onto my inner thigh, she begins to shudder when I start to gyrate my vagina against her's, her moans tell me she is cuming and I barely made contact with her yet. She dips her fingers into the juices, and begin to paint my body with her own arousal juices, I never knew she was this devious or horny. I lean into her, pressing my bare breasts press against her skin. She is damp touch against my firm nipples couldn't have felt wetter if they were inside a mouth. I nuzzle and kiss her neck in return, she lets out a soft cry, her tongue slowly migrates down my neck and onto my shoulder. I grab hold of her ass, and squeeze, pulling her dripping cunt closer to mine, I feel her ass begin to tremor in my hands, I take her left breast in my mouth and suck on her nipple. Her hand moves caressing my hair to my dripping cunt, her thumb slip ever so slightly between my labia and quickly found my clitoris. I was shocked at the effect this seemingly innocuous action had upon me, I was on the verge of an orgasm, I didn't know much longer I could hold it at bay, She paused long enough to long enough to taste my juices on her fingers, then pushed her tongue between my labia and rested it on my clit, but kept it completely still. When she began sucking on my clit, I grasped handfuls of the bed, she pushed her mouth deeper against my labia and her tongue flicked repeatedly on my clit. I moved my fingers and intertwined them in her hair, she continues to move her tongue into me, I had a warm, wet feeling forming between my legs, liquid squeezed out, between her fingers and was running down the inside of my thighs. I throw my head back at the start of my orgasm and she had gripped my legs holding them apart, while my body began shaking. When I relaxed my body, she began to lap up the last bit of my orgasm. "I never know how I had the courage to do that Carla!". "You wicked girl, Judy" " Carla I have a confession to make". " Confession about what, why you are here". " No, I mean, yes, I don't know". "OK, you have me totally confused now, why don't you just spill the beans!". " I think I love you Carla!". " Hey Judy, I know we had good sex, I am sure a one-night stand doesn't lead to love ". " I have admired you since the fist day you walked up to my desk, the way you handle Dennis, the way you don't give a fuck what others think". " Judy I hope I haven't given you the wrong impression, I have been in a lesbian relationship, they start with high hopes of being satisfied, they have never been long lasting, that takes commitment, which in turn needs stability, I for one am not stable enough for that commitment your asking for Judy". " I don't care if my love for you isn't shared, I love you that's all that matters and I will take whatever you are prepared to give me Carla". " I have to admit you have sexual attraction". " I will take that Carla". Judy was all smiles, she can't think I love her, a sexual attraction, yes. " Have you a place to stay, Is Bruce's wife moving back in with him?". " Yes, I am a homeless person as of tonight", Judy hung her head and started crying in her lap, I put my arms around her and tried to comfort her, I knew she was hoping i would ask her to stay, I wasn't going to disappoint her, Its the last thing she needs at this time, I have been through a breakup so I know how it feels to be homeless, OK, I walked out on him, but I relate. " You can stay here as long as you want Judy, it's small, but I have a feeling we will manage". " What about your roommate Carla". " Don't worry about him Judy,i shall have a word with him". " Will he be home tonight?". " late or early tomorrow, depends on the weather". I looked around and Judy was fast asleep on the bed. She looked so sweet laying naked on top of the bedclothes, I still find it hard to believe she was so wickedly horny a few short minutes ago. I pulled the bedcovers from underneath her, climbed on beside her and covered us both. Judy's body felt warm as I wrapped my arms around her, she let out a pleasureful moan as I cuddled her up close to me. We all have the desire of physical touch, I am feeling much better now the effects of to much booze and drugs with Judy taking the lead during our sexcapade put me at ease not only with her, but at ease with myself. Judy had come to my apartment seeking comfort from her recent breakup with Bruce, it was in fact me who was in need of comforting. (C) Christina Carey My blogs @ http://fiftyshades-ofgray.blogspot.ca/ http://lovewithoutclinging.wordpress.com/