Mom and dad divorced when I was young. I didn't see my dad much. He wasn't one of those deadbeat dads, but after he married again, he didn't seem to want me in his life. Visits became mere formalities. Two months each summer. The inconvenience of anything more was too much for him. I don't remember anymore, but mommy tells me that, when I was four, I locked myself I a room and cut up her best dress. I do remember helping her get ready for dates, watching her in the mirror as she put makeup on, powdering my face when she was done. One day, I asked if we could play with the makeup even though she wasn’t going anywhere. She gave me an odd look, then said, Okay.

She put me in the shower and, when I got out, she styled my hair as I stood naked before the mirror at the age of seven, then she applied the makeup. Would you like a dress to wear? she asked. I was the only kid in fourth grade with a pony tail, and on weekends, mommy and I would get done up and go out to eat or to the movies. I loved it. When I began masturbating two years later, it felt odd, but very right too.

Mommy would stand outside my door and listen to me jerk off when I was dressed as a girl, then come in immediately afterward and stroke me all over through my clothes, touching my bare legs, sliding her hands up under my dress, keeping me hard, as she cooed to me, You know this is who you are. It's always been who you are. You're beautiful, Nikki. You have nothing to be ashamed of and don't let anyone tell you different. Then she would peck me on the cheek. One day, she asked, Do you know that good boys always cum for their mommies. I want you to try thinking about how much you love me when you rub your little girl clit.

I didn't resist. It wasn't the nature of the relationship I had with mommy. She had the ability to compel me with her voice, her whispers. I began to think about how she loved me when I tugged on my dick. Soon, I was talking about it aloud. Only days later, she appeared in my doorway as I jerked my cock, babbling about loving her. I love you too, baby. Now let's see you cum for mommy.

I'm going to be a good boy and cum for my mommy. All good boys cum for their mommies.

And who's your mother?

You are, Mommy. I love you so much. I'm going to cum for you.

Tell me you want to fuck me.

I want to fuck you, Mommy, I said in a small, frightened voice.

That's good, because my pussy is the only place your dick belongs. You'll want to sleep with other women through the years, but you'll only ever want to cum in your mommy's pussy.

I squealed and came.

Sometimes, Mommy went out on Friday nights, but Saturdays were ours. I found peace from the surliness of my age in the reality of being Nikki. My face grew more pretty than handsome and I could easily pass. Mommy bought me something every weekend. Every weekend, we'd traipse through the mall or, if Mommy was feeling generous, through the gentrified section of the city, past the boutiques, with shopping bags on our arms, my arm in her hand, my eyes squinting in the sun through blond bangs down to my chin, my Mommy's eyes hidden behind sunglasses that she wouldn't buy for me. I was still largely ignorant of the reactions I got, so I can only write that people watched us. I walked as I had been taught, and as I had been taught not to at times. We'd end the day in Mommy's bed with a movie. She insisted that bathroom doors stay closed, and that I only use hers, so I'd play with myself in bed those nights, while my Mommy snuggled and cooed to me about how pretty I was, what I good daughter I was. She'd always kiss me afterward, and sometimes during. The first time I opened my lips and Mommy's tongue slid inside me, I came instantly. She just smiled and gave me a pair of her panties to clean myself with. Sunday mornings . . .

By the time I was fourteen, it wasn't uncommon for me to sit at the breakfast table on Sundays, with my dick stuffed into a pair of my mommy's panties, jerking off and whining for my mommy to watch me cum for her as she stood smiled at me from across the kitchen. We talked about breasts sometimes, whether I wanted my own. Mommy would take off her top and bra and let me feel hers to show me how good breasts felt. Gentle with your hands, firm with your mouth. She would say every time, my cue to begin nursing. I'd wrap my pubescent mouth around one of her nipples and press my tongue against it, then pull as much of her breast in and out of my mouth as I could, whimpering slightly till I couldn't get enough air through my nose and pulled back to gasp for breath, then again. It was an other-worldly experience. A mindless sense and expression of need that would not pass and that I would not let pass till I'd had my fill.

I think it's time you started meeting boys your own age, she said to me one Sunday afternoon as I was licking my cum from her breasts.

Boys? I asked mistrustfully. All I wanted was my mommy.

What do you imagine when you stick things into that cute little ass of your but get fucked?

Mommy . . .

Lie back, Nikki. Mommy's going to show you how good it can feel. I did as she asked and soon she returned with a four-inch dildo smeared with lube. She twisted the end and it began buzzing and vibrating. My heart caught in my throat and I began shifting my ass on the mattress. You didn't think I knew? Of course I knew, baby. She lifted my legs and I held them up. It slid in a bit roughly and I cried out, but my ass had taken the entirety of it before I could complain. Mommy wrapped her legs around me, allowing me to use her heels for a pillow, and kept my legs over her shoulders and she fucked the toy dick in and out of me. It far surpassed any experience I'd had on my own. She didn't touch my hard dick, just fucked me leisurely for over an hour while I whined and bucked and thrashed before her.

Mommy! God, cock, Mommy! Feels so good in my hole.

Your fuck hole, she supplied. Your fuck hole loves Mommy's dick, doesn't it?

Please!!!

Let you cum? Touch yourself, baby Nikki.

My dick melted in my grasp but a tugged at it fervently anyway as mommy screwed my ass with her toy.

Your little girl clit likes being rubbed, doesn't it, baby?

Yes, Mommy!

And your boy pussy? Your sissy hole?

I shook my head wildly.

Mommy shrugged. Boys like you are sissies.

No, Mommy! I wailed in a desperate, tear choked voice.

Do you want cum?

Yes. I need to cum like a boy.

Then do, my little boy. Cum like the faggot you are.

No, I'm a sissy girl! I cried and my half-limp girl clit sprayed cum all over my chest.

She smiled. You are a sissy girl, a wonderful daughter. Now go get a shower and put on something nice. We're going to go out to celebrate you becoming more mature.

I put on my little black dress and stockings and makeup. I slipped on my heels and went downstairs to pout. I didn't feel like going out for a minute. But mommy was having none of it. You get your trampy ass in that car, Nikki! We're going to have a nice dinner and you are going to lose your virginity tonight. I raised my eyebrows.

Mommy?

She grinned. Oh, yes.

Mommy requested a circular booth at the corner of the restaurant and we sat and ordered. I took her sunglasses out of her purse and put them on. I looked up just in time to see another woman with a son in his late teens approaching. My mother gestured her over and rose. The two gave each other an affected kiss on the cheek. "This is my son, John," the other woman said.

How apt. I could not believe the words left my mouth. He was goofy looking but handsome. He simply reeked of immaturity in his cocksure, "I take nothing seriously" attitude. John spoke in wild non-sequitors during dinner and, afterward, mommy suggested he and I go out to the car to listen to music while she and her friend have a slow cup of coffee.

Get me high? I asked in the car. John pulled out a bowl and soon I was lost in a haze of marijuana fumes. Take it out, I told him and waited, hoping he would. My mouth descended upon his prick, engulfing it in mucus and spittle then I hiked my dress up and straddled his lap. With a little work, we lined up his cock with my shitter and I impaled myself upon it. John? I asked. I want you to know that you're in my ass, so you can cum as much as you want. We kissed while I rode his cock. Soon, there came a knock at the window. I rolled it down and saw John's mother. We're not quite through, I said and raised it again. I heard her laugh and continued to fuck myself with John's dick until he was struggling to get away. I put my finger to his lips and lifted my dress higher so he could see my shaved penis, then leaned forward and ground it into his belly. I know you knew, I breathed in his ear. You were my first. I swear, John. My very first. The look on his face was confused. I slid off him and he scrambled out the door.

Mommy? I asked, as my mother climbed into the driver's seat.

Nikki! She beamed at me. I am so happy for you. Tell me about it, dear. Tell me all about it.

His dick felt so good in me, Mommy. It's a good think you used my fuck hole with your toy earlier or it would have hurt. It still did, some. I had begun to rub my little girl clit under my dress and my breath occasionally caught in my throat or gasped as I talked during the ride home. When I was sinking down onto him, engulfing his cock in my love tunnel, it hurt, but it hurt in a good way, in a way I wanted more of. There was still lube and I was still loose and, oh God, you should have seen the look on his face as my ass swallowed his hard, twitching prick.

He was a virgin too, dear. I hope you didn't scare him.

I made sure he loved it if I did. Gawd, mommy, the first time I pushed my tongue into his mouth and he sucked it, I moaned all the way through. Even my shitter, it moaned and spasmed around his cock and I know, I just know he came. But he didn't get soft at his age and I milked more out of him till finally I didn't care anymore, didn't even care that he was getting off. All that mattered was that there was a dick inside me, filling me with more and more cum while the boy beneath me helplessly loved me for it. It sounds the same, but it wasn't. His dick, mommy, his dick was mine, and he was grateful for the way I used it. I knelt in the seat and whispered in Mommy's ear. I am so sorry, Mommy, but I absolutely loved having a cock in me. I think I'm a fucking whore. And I don't care. I giggled and sat back down.

Mommy placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed. I'm still your mother.

And good boys always cum for their mommies, I said with a wide smile.

I'll make you a deal. And you'll have some time to think about it. Next September, you may become Nikki if you like. I'll have you enrolled in a private school, clothes for every day of the week. Some will know, some won't. You might get called "young man" a few times, but you're too damned pretty for anyone to tease you for it. You can date, you can sleep around, but you must be Nikki at all times. Then, on your sweet sixteen . . . Nikki, Mommy needs time to think.

Okay, Mommy. I hiked up my dressed and smiled at her as I rubbed my little girl clit. Mommy, I love you so much. You're everything to me. You're the only woman who'll ever by my mommy. I want to fuck you, I sighed. I want to fuck my fucking mommy.