It took me by surprise when my mother wanted me to meet Kim. I was 19 and broken hearted after an aborted relationship type experience that had left me feeling more humiliated than anything else. But that was behind me, were it not for me lying in bed night after night, fantasizing about meeting her again sometime in the future when I felt I had more to offer.

I didn't want to meet Kim. I didn't want to meet anyone. I didn't want to betray the memory of what I'd had with Betty, but I didn't have much choice as fate would have it. My mother was gone, my father had been gone for years, and Kim rang the bell one day. She was dressed in a black skirt suit, wearing heavy makeup and seemed to have small breasts, which was odd for her build. It wasn't until I was trottng up the stairs behind her that I realized she was a man.

"Thank you for letting me use your printer, Michael." Kim said. "I wouldn't have asked, but . . ." She smiled. "You'd better not know what I'm thinking. It's entirely wrong for you to know what I'm thinking, Michael. It'd be as though you could see into my thoughts and rob my secrets."

I stared numbly, taken aback and very aroused. "The printer isn't mine."

"I know that. What else isn't yours, Michael? Can you tell me if you'd like to have dinner with me?"

My mother had told me this was coming, that Kim wanted to get to know me socially, but she looked to be in her late thirties and I was just out of not really a relationship and it didn't seem right to fuck a she-male.

"I know what you're thinking." Kim smiled sadly. "When I was your age, I didn't care for what I wanted either. I wanted to be with a married couple so bad, a couple in their late thirties or early forties. I imagined playing the seductress, dropping to my knees as we sat around with our drinks and crawling to the husband's dick to suck him." She uncrossed and crossed her legs, her thigh brushing up against mine. "You like me. I can tell. I'll tell you what. I have your number. I'll give you some time to think it over, then I'll give you a call." She rose and breathed in my ear. "And, Michael, I promise you that absolutely nothing will happen that you don't want to happen." Then she put her fingernail on the bottom of my jaw and turned my head and, with the barest grazing of her lips on mine, murmured, "I can make it go away. All of it. The hate, the pounding sorrow, the worry, and that blessing you call fear, fear you're not what you want to be." She glanced toward the printer with a smile. "That's a nice printer, but this will still take two hours. Can you keep it loaded with paper while I suck your cock?"

I just shook my head numbly, struggling for words.

"I mean it, Michael. If you sit in that chair, just sit back down in that chair, I'll take your dick out of your pants and suck it till you cum in my mouth, and no one in the world will ever know about it but you and me." Kim glanced down at the bulge in my jeans. "You like secrets too, don't you?"

My heart pounded in my chest. I wanted so desperately to do ask Kim wanted, but I was frozen with uncertainty. I — I suppose I should mention that I was a virgin. Then Kim saved me, or brought me into a world of pleasure I'll never forget and never remember except for a blur of images grasping their way out of the darkness. She put her hands on my shoulders and pressed gently down and I sunk into my mom's desk chair. Kim smiled and straddled my lap, kissing me, unbuttoning my shirt, unzipping my pants, pulling off my shoes till I was lolling back in the chair with my racing heart, nude except for my unbuttoned shirt. Kim's arm's lifted my thighs onto her shoulders and her mouth enveloped me as two fingers stabbed into my asshole. I screamed and screamed and screamed as she fingered me while bathing and sucking my penis. The screams softened to whimpers as I relaxed and soon, I drifted off to somewhere else, some other-place where I was very alone.

"Kim? Kim? I need you here, Kim? I need you to suck my . . . I need you to cum with my cum, to make me, to fuck me, to wake it. It? I want you. Kim? Kim?" I emptied my balls in her mouth and she fell forward, wrapping her arms around me and clutching herself to my stomach.

"You liked that, Michael. When you go to bed tonight, you're going to remember it and touch yourself until you cum again with my eyes in your eyes."

"Is there anything else?"

"I can be whatever you want me to be. Remember that. Remember that there's no shame at all, not between us. There's simply not allowed to be. I can be your lover, your whore, your soulmate, anything at all. Baby," she said, rising. Her teeth nicked me on the nose. "you need this." We kissed and Kim left, making me promise to save her enormous printout for the next time we met.

The house phone rang Thursday night. My mom called to me from downstairs and I litterally ran from my bedroom to the study to answer the spare phone there. "Kim?" I gasped. I heard my mom chuckle on the line and hang up. Without thinking, I unbuttoned my jeans and sat down to tug on my dick while we talked. "Why are you calling?"

"Do I need a reason? Or are you afraid that it's not you I want to talk to, you I've been thinking about for, oh, all of the last two hours?"

"I'm afraid," I answered, off in that other-place.

"You don't have to be. Tell me what you need. Maybe I can help. Tell me what would make you happy most, Michael."

"I need you," I whined.

"I want to tell you you're a good boy, but I don't think that would be right, not at all, not tonight. But tell you you're a bad boy? Well, you're flattering me too much for that."

I jerked off softly. "Kim, Kim, I need to tell you something."

"Shhhh. It can wait. It can all wait until we see one another. Well, almost all of it. There's something I want to tell you Michael, something that I'm afraid to say because I don't want you to take it badly. But first, would you like to eat dinner at your place this weekend? Your mother told me about her trip to DC. We'd have the run of . . . everything, every last thing. Michael? Would you like that?"

"Yes, Kim." I groaned through my intoxication at being drawn by her into this realm where the only thing that mattered was her, my need and lust for her, her happiness, and all of it so perfectly intensely delightful.

Kim laughed. "Call me Kimmie."

"Kimmie!" I whined in a yelp that was almost a shout.

"Michael, love, my fucking cock sheath is so needy. It's been clenching on nothing for, oh, two hours. I need a dick, your dick."

I gasped.

"Don't cum." The line went dead.

Maddeningly, I didn't have Kim's number or last name. I knew her employer, but I was afraid to call there. So I waited all the next day, left the porch light on, drank, and went to bed early, angry, frustrated, and exasperated with my own hopes. To think she would actually call, come by, any of it. I began to play with myself, her name throbbing in my mind, the image of her blond curls and blue eyes wrapped around my cock bold in my memory. I didn't know anyone was in the house till I heard footsteps in the hallway. In the darkness, I saw Kim shed her clothes, revealing a nightie. She crawled over me, kissing my skin, caressing me, mumbling words that set me at ease and desperate at once.

"Michael, you know you don't have to be good or bad. There's no such thing between us. We are. If you have a label for what we are, I hope it's not those words. I hope it's happy or needing or everything. I hope you feel that I need you, need your virgin dick in my cunt. You see," her head was resting on my chest and she gently kissed my skin as her hand worked sensuously on my side. "You see I want very, very much for you to be a virgin, so that you'll know the desire I can fill, know the inside of my clutching shitter, the feel of my dick sucking lips, cock probing tongue. I want you to remember forever that everything you can think to want from another person, you can have from Kim, from me." I felt something slick and cold being rubbed on my dick and instantly grew hard. Kim flipped over on all fours, her head on her elbows. I couldn't see her smiling at me in the dark, but I knew she was. "Take your time. We have all night. And then some. Lover." I lifted the back of her negligee and Kim's hands reached back to spread her cheeks. "I hope to call you Love before the weekend's through. Now fuck me, baby. Kimmie's ass needs pounding."

I slid inside her easily and immediately came. I didn't even get the chance to pull out for a thrust before I emptied myself in her ass. Feebly, I fucked my shrinking dick in and out of her while she mewled in contentment. "I'm sorry, Kim."

"Oh, don't. Do you realize what you just gave me?" She laughed. "Of course you don't. You've been looking . . . what I mean is that I have your virgin cum in my ass, Michael. I would have sucked your daddy's dick for that."

"You dirty . . "

"Whore," Kim provided. I'm your dirty fucking whore who tricked you into spending your very first load inside me. But I'm your whore, sweetie. For the weekend." She kissed me, deeply and passionately, then slowly and playfully. "Nothing's perfect," she hissed. Kim lay down and urged me to turn over on my side. She held me from behind, whispering to me while she played with my dick. "You're a lovely young man. You know that. You just forget sometimes. I hope, when this is over, you don't hate me for remembering you so well. Michael, do you know that I loved sucking your dick the other day? I did. I love cock in my mouth, but only especially if it's yours. So many women, so many women will wonder how you kept yourself a secret for nineteen years. I'm not the first, I know it. You don't have to tell me her name and I doubt you could, you silly, hot boy. You probably didn't notice that she loved you. So I'm going to do this for her. I'm going to stroke the dick she wanted in her mouth, in her pussy, and I'm going to love it even more than she would have. Because I am a whore, your whore. Dear," she began stroking my hair while my erection throbbed. "Love, darling, you boy, you wonderful fucking hunk of cum-spitting need, did you know I need you. Kimmie needs you, Michael." Her hand returned to my cock and my mouth opened in a near-silent sigh. "Did you like fucking me. Did you like being inside me, feeding your dick to my needy, horny ass? I hope so, because it only gets better from here."

"Kim?"

"Yes?"

"Kim?"

"I'm here, baby. Kim's here. Do you want to cum or aren't you ready yet?"

"Not yet."

She talked on and on, stroking my dick while I drifted, drawing no closer to orgasm. When her finger found my asshole, I began to whine softly and still she talked, making me hers. When I finally asked to cum, forty minutes later, she sank down my torso and wrapped her lips around the head of my cock, sucking while she jerked me off. Her eyes widened when I came then focused in consternation. "I'll sleep well tonight," she said. "I always sleep better with a belly full of warm jizz. Let's get up. Go downstairs and I'll change."

Kim appeared downstairs fifteen minutes later, wearing a short red dress with black fishnet stockings and black pumps. A black jacket hung over her arm. She set the jacket down on the arm of the sofa and pulled an already rolled joint out of her purse. The next thing I knew, I was fucking her over the kitchen table, her dress hiked up to her waist, her garters attached to a piece of lingerie. She cried out in time to my stacatto thrusts, knocking my hand aside when I reached for her shaved clit. "My whore ass loves that dick. Are you going to shoot up my ass? Are you going to shoot your load deep in my shitter so I can feel it ooze out all night until you pound me again? Michael? Kimmie needs your fucking cum." Her hips gyrated back against mine, her ass squirming against my pelvis as I fucked her.

"Kim, Kim, Kim!" I cried in a high pitched voice.

"That's a good boy. Make love to Mommy's whore ass." Her ass was spasming uncontrollably, struggling to milk cum from my dick. "My fuck tunnel loves your cock. Can't you tell." She groaned deeply and her fuck hole strained against the girth of my dick, causing me to moan too. "Yeah, I like that cock. I love that fucking cock. Take my fucking ass all night, stud. Take your whore's fucking ass."

Eventually, she began to shift in her heels. In a quiet, even voice, she said, "Michael, that was wonderful. Truly. But I want you to cum now, right now. You have permission."

I began shooting ropes of cum into her before I heard the word "permission." Groaning and sighing, I slumped off her to the floor, spent, while she wiggled her ass enticingly. I bit it, hard, and she yelped in a happy tone.

Kim turned and, placing her hands on my shoulders, leaned down to kiss me. I gazed into her face, feminine, pretty. I tried to imagine her as a man and couldn't. The nose was a bit off, the eyes were a bit too almond shaped. Even in her late thirties, she was pretty, with a soft jawline, a weak chin, and cold blue eyes that smiled at me now, which had seemed fierce and daring when we first met, and which seemed dispassionate even when her tone was warm, her words reassuring, and her lips curled into a belligerant smile that knew too much.

"Kim?"

"Clean up if you want to, baby. We're going out. I want to leave in ten, so hurry." She surprised me by handing me the keys to her car, a graphite-grey Ford Mustang. She told me to head to the highway, to stop at a coffee shop first. She had me order a Venti Caramel Machiato with five extra shots of espresso. I got nothing for myself. We split it, and she handed me two pills. "Well, well, aren't I the wrong woman?" she asked when I took them.

I gazed at her, a bit wounded though I didn't know why.

"There's so much to be said."

"For the wrong woman. Yes, I know."

"You're learning, at any rate."

"How far are we going?"

"Does it matter, baby?" She stared at me in the dark, the tip of her fingernail in her mouth, smiling, light shining in her eyes. "Let me know when you work up the courage to ask for a blowjob." She fiddled with the radio and songs from her youth that I'd heard many of washed over us in the black.

Warmth overcame me as the drugs took hold. The head-noise from the weed cleared and I watched the lines on the road fly by in a mild euporhia. I unzipped my pants, pulled out my dick, and played with myself as we drove. "Kim? Kimmie, could you please suck my dick?"

"What's the magic word, sweetie?"

"I said please," I whined.

"The magic word is not 'please'. The magic word is 'now'"

"Thank you for telling me. Now can you suck my dick?"

She smiled broadly for long seconds. "I'm not kidding."

"Kim, suck my dick, you beautiful whore. Now!"

"I'd love to, sweetie." She leaned over and took me inside her, fucking doing everything to my cock that could be done with a mouth. Some of it hurt a bit, some of the perpetual teasing irritated me, but when she spit my limp dick out for the final time and licked it clean, I was exhausted, staring forward with a numb vengance, determined to get where we were going before I died. After a hundred and some miles, Kim pointed me off the road and we drove down a state highway, through a small town, to a subdivision. As we drove through an underpass, Kim motioned to a field on the right. I turned to her and raised my eyebrows. "Don't worry. Turn on the brights and go slow, but not too slow, someone might call the cops." She pointed. "See that shed? Park behind it." I crawled the car two hundred yards over uneven ground and parked behind an old, small shed. "Yippie!" She clapped her hands. I would have expected it to be a sarcastic gesture, but her face showed none of it. "Pop the trunk and help me get the sleeping bag." Usure what was happening, I did as she asked. Kim led me into the shed with a cigarette lighter then pointed to a hole in the low ceiling that seemed to lead up to another level. She kicked off her heals an jumped for the opening. I reached out to grasp her waist to help her, but she slid out of my reach. "Hand my the shoes and the sleeping bag." I did as she asked, then followed her up. There was an opening in the wall on the upper level, large with moonlight shining through. We were far enough out of the city that stars were visible, more than I'd seen since a child. Kim stripped off her dress in the dark. She no longer wore the nightie she'd surprised me in earlier. It was sheer, it was lace. Her cock and balls were hairless as her ass had been. There wasn't a hair on her except on her head. She smiled at me happily from the bag. I stripped and climbed in. She grasped me and held me, her head in the crook of my arm. "I lost my virginity here."

And that was it. We talked. We talked and talked, like sharing a bunk bed with good friend, on and on through the night. I had never felt so alone and she seemed to devour it, sucking it out of me, feeding. I recounted the memoried she steered me towards, of loss or dashed hope, and she comforted me as I felt weaker and weaker. I wasn't surprised when she rolled me over. I hunched down on my knees and elbows instinctively and screamed when she entered me. "Please, please, go slow. Take it out! Take it out just for a minute. Please." She ignored me and the burning pain persisted. "Tell me when it's all the way in?" It was clear that I was getting fucked and for some reason, a physical struggle to get away just wasn't part of the rules, wasn't in my repertoire.

"It's all the way in, baby. Mommy's going to fuck you now, okay?"

"Okay."

The combination of the endorphins released by the pain of Kim's cock piercing my ass, the pills she had given me, her attentiveness, the way stroked my back softly, her hand moving beneath me to the inside of my thigh and coaxing me to spread my legs, to hunker down further, her fingers on my balls, my sexual exhaustion, and the peace and trust that had grown over the last few hours between us, the smell of her perfume, and her dick gently introduing me to something in me I didn't know was there. I whimpered and whined as the pain fell into the background of my mind, Kim fucking me harder, keeping me on the edge of agony, as my asshole weclomed her cock, slowly relaxing. When there was no more pain, there were my wails. I'd never believe I could say such things, demean myself so thoroughly. Here I was, losing my virginity on a sleeping bag in a dirty, musky old shed with the blue light of dawn glowing on the walls and I screamed like a whore, theatrical, disgusting, begging cock from a woman old enough to be my mother. "Shoot up my ass! Shoot up my fucking ass with your cum! Fuck my filthy virgin shithole!" But she wouldn't, or couldn't, and gradually I settled into the fuck, waiting for my turn to swallow her cum with my ass. Warm and moaning together, she punished me with her dick as she fondled mine, something that drove me wild in way that felt wrong, as though I had too little control. I would moan, her fingers would twirl and squeeze around my cock, I would scream, and her fuck-tempo would rise to a furious pounding as I blathered about mommy and cumming. She sensed it, played with what I would enjoy against my will till an abject tone of humiation entered my cries and pleas."

"Did Mommy make her Michael too horny? I'm sorry baby. I'll let you enjoy your ass-fucking. It'll get better, you know. The more you feel, the more you enjoy, the more you tune into what you like, the stronger it all becomes, the better it all becomes. I need you, Michael. I need you so much. Say my name?"

"Mommy . . . "

"That'll have to do, I suppose," Kim answered, her pace quickening. "I'm going to cum, Michael. Did you know that? I'm going to cum in you, baby. It's been so fucking perfect, your ass is so fucking beautiful, it all feels so fucking right, doesn't it, Michael?"

"No," I wailed. "You're not cumming. It won't be perfect till you cum."

"I'll cum, baby. I'll fill your hot fucking virgin ass with my seed just as soon as I can get you to see that you can fuck as many whores as you want, but your ass belongs to Mommy." The words were spoken in time with her trusts, each one accompanied by her hips smacking my ass cheeks. My body seized up in pleasure, my muscles unresponsive. Kim seized my balls, hard and cum ran from my soft, sore dick. "I'm cumming, Michael. I'm cumming, Michael. I'm cumming, baby, whore, love dick. God, no, right, fuck, yes!!" She seized the hair at the back of my head and pulled me on all fours. Warmth bloomed deep inside me and I felt her softening cock plop out of my tight cunt with a plop.

She chuckled, and pulled me back down into the sleeping bag, pointing up at the pastel blue sky. "I bought you a toy," she said with a kiss. "For when we get sick of each other in about four hours. Those pills will wear off, you'll be aghast at what happened, want to get away, just get away . . . But, you'll get drunk in about two months and wish to hell you had my number." She erupted in laughter again. "You can get it from your mother, I'm sure. So, you'll have a friend until you feel comfortable enough to come back to me, and you will. You will come to me when you need a good fucking, and we all do from time to time, and you will come to me because, let's face it, I'm a good fuck. Have as much fun with the girls as you want though. You'll figure out what you want in the end. And stop thinking you're gay. Labels are very bad when it comes to sexuality. There. That's my lecture. Now, do you need a dick-sucking to enjoy the rest of the sunrise?"