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 "It's that time of month again."

   "Don't really want to hear about that, Lex."

   "No," I said.  "Carly's broken up with Parker again."

   "Ah..." Amy was silent for a moment on the other end of the phone. 
"Time to make your move?"

   I flopped back on my bed.  "I dunno.  She's still straight.  And I'm not
dumb enough to think I can just turn someone unless they harbor a secret
attraction for women.  You can tempt a straight girl into a wild night of
experimentation, but I want more than that with Carly."

   "Yeah.  Too bad." I could hear Amy's grin.  "The experiment can be
plenty fun for everyone."

   I grinned a little myself.  Amy was a bit of an alley cat, who
specialized in introducing young women to the delights of Sapphic love. 
That was how I got my start four years ago, at the tender age of eighteen.

   Amy had lived in my dorm, on another floor.  She was a junior, and I was
a timid freshman.  After befriending me, she recognized the signs that I
was in the closet so deep I didn't even know it.  Eventually, she seduced
me.

   At the time I rather thought I was in love with her.  But she gently
made it clear that she wasn't looking for a relationship.  So we remained
friends until she graduated, occasionally having sex.

   I don't mean to make Amy sound like a predator.  She sees it as a good
deed, helping gay or bisexual women come to terms with what they are.  Nor
does she love them and leave them.  After, she helped me talk things out,
provided a shoulder to cry on, and encouraged me to see my sexual
orientation as a natural part of myself.

   For a few months my senior year, I had a girlfriend, but that petered
out.  So I was free to move back home and get an apartment with my best
friend from high school.

   Carly.  She of the gorgeous red hair, green eyes, and perky breasts. 
I'd often felt plain next to her as a somewhat non-descript, freckled
brunette.  Yet I'd never felt the need to leave her shadow.

   It took me until I'd come out to realize it, but I was in love with her.
However, she had a boyfriend.  Even if she might be receptive to my
advances, I was absolutely not stealing someone else's girl.  That's a
level I refuse to stoop to.

   Of course, they often broke up and got back together so fast it gave me
whiplash.  And now, I was calling my first to get some advice on what to do
with this "off" period.

   "Maybe I can peek at her dreams.  See if she has any erotic dreams about
me or any other girls."

   "I think every girl has those.  Or maybe that's just my optimism." Amy
laughed.  "Lex, sometimes you've got to just put on your big-girl panties
and do it.  At least then you'll know for sure."

   I sighed.  "Yeah.  I'm just worried it'll ruin our friendship."

   "I thought she was cool with you being gay?"

   "Oh, she's been great." Unlike my parents, Carly had pretty much taken
the news in stride.  "But the big confession changes things, you know?  It
can make the whole thing awkward, and then the friendship circles the drain
from there."

   "Look," she said.  "The key is in how you present it.  First off, don't
issue any kind of ultimatum.  You share your feelings, and the only thing
that hangs in the balance is whether you become lovers.  Second,
don't...it's not about you, and it's not about her.  It's about you and
her, together.  Third, don't use the word `love.' It might come from the
heart, it might be romantic, but it's too much pressure.

   "And if she doesn't reciprocate, make it clear that you consider the
matter closed.  You're not going to pine for her, you're not going to hold
it against her.  You're going to chalk it up to experience, find someone
else, and just be her friend and nothing more."

   I mulled this over.  "All that sounds good.  But how do I keep from
chickening out?"

   "I'll help."



   Friday of that week, Carly came home from her software engineering job
at seven.  As a writer, I worked from home.

   "Ugh." She dropped onto the sofa.  "Do we have any wine?  I need a
drink."

   I poured two glasses and sat next to her.  She took a sip as she kicked
off her shoes.

   "Damn, that's better.  This one class of objects is giving me a
headache. I just can't get the code right no matter what I do."

   I reached over and massaged her neck a bit.  "You'll figure it out.  You
always do."

   Carly smiled and leaned into my fingers.  "Oh, that's nice.  Thanks,"
she mumbled.  She started to drift a little, then snapped awake.  "So,
Parker called."

   My hand on her neck stilled.  "And?"

   "We talked.  We're thinking of maybe getting back together."

   Inwardly I groaned.  It wasn't that Parker was a bad guy.  There was no
abuse or cheating involved.  The two of them were like flint and steel. 
Put them together and there were sparks, but eventually something would
explode.  They were good people, only they didn't see eye to eye on much.
They were incompatible, but drawn together regardless.

   Carly picked up on my reaction, though I thought I'd hidden it better
than that.  "I know, it's not the first time.  But maybe if we can
communicate better..." She shrugged.  "Meantime, the sex is pretty good."

   Just then, my phone vibrated, as it had been doing every ten minutes.  I
pulled it out and read the message.

   BE TOUGH.  YOU CAN DO IT.

   Amy's support stiffened my spine.  Taking a breath, I looked Carly in
the eye.

   "I don't think you should."

   "Well..." She chewed her lip.  "I know it's kind of fucked up.  It's
probably going to go south again.  But part of me needs to find out for
sure."

   "That's not what I'm getting at." I put my glass down.  "Parker's a good
guy.  But you two just don't work together.  You've given it plenty of
shots with him." I hesitated.  No guts, no glory.  "I was hoping you would
consider giving it a shot with me."

   Carly blinked.  Her mouth opened and closed.  She looked from me to her
wineglass and back again.  Finally, the power of speech returned to her. 
"You mean, date you?  Romantically?" At my nod she said, "I don't know,
Lex. I've never thought about it."

   "I know.  That's why I'm asking."

   "Do I have to decide now?" She was very still, as if frozen where she
was.

   "No," I said.  "Take all the time you need." She relaxed.  "Carly, I
want you to know, you're the best friend I've ever had, and nothing will
change that.  If you're not interested, I'll let it go and move on to
someone else.  Our friendship is not on the line.  Only our potential
romance."

   That seemed to relax Carly further.  Amy had called it on reassuring
her. And I meant every word.

   She studied her wineglass, lost in thought.  "How long have you been
thinking about this?"

   This was a question I hesitated to answer.  The truth was, I'd been
seriously thinking about it ever since I realized I was gay, but it went
back even further.  Somewhere deep inside, I'd fallen in love with her when
we were kids.  But telling her this would put too much pressure on her.

   Finally, I settled on telling her, "A while.  You were one of the
reasons I moved back to Minnesota."

   "I've never...been with a girl before.  I don't want to lead you on and
then find out I'm straight after all."

   I nodded.  "I appreciate that.  But you may need to try it in order to
find out.  It'd suck, but I promise I'd understand if you backed out."

   She smiled thinly.  "Thanks." She put her wine aside.  "I sort of lied
when I said I've never thought about it.  I mean, I've had little fantasies
now and then.  But lots of girls do." She pinched the bridge of her nose.
"How do I tell?  What was so different about your feelings that you knew
you were a lesbian?"

   A fine question, one I had to think about.  "Well, I didn't know until
Amy, my first, seduced me.  Before that, I guess I just didn't feel
comfortable in my life.  Like I was playing the role of a straight girl in
a movie, only I kept missing my cues and stumbling over my lines."

   "Hmm." Carly mulled that over.  "I can't say I've ever felt
uncomfortable being straight.  But then I wouldn't if I was bisexual."

   "True.  I guess what you have to figure out is whether you can feel for
a woman what you can feel for a man."

   "Yeah.  That's the million-dollar question."

   I moved closer.  "Try this," I said.  Slowly, giving her every chance to
stop me, I leaned toward her and brushed my lips lightly over hers.  Her
eyes fluttered closed.

   Carly inhaled deeply.  I gave her another feather-soft kiss.  "Good?"
She nodded, her eyes still shut.  "Do you want more?" She nodded again.

   I kissed her more firmly.  No tongue, not yet, just sweet kisses,
savoring the taste of her.  Pulling away, I said, "So, there's something to
start with.  How do you feel?"

   Her eyes opened.  "Warm.  Tingly.  Nervous."

   This time, I leaned forward a third of the way, leaving it up to Carly
to close the gap.  Her soft lips met mine, and I tested the waters. 
Gentle, questioning kisses.  She shivered, and the vibration transferred
through her mouth.

   Presently the tip of her tongue came into play, and I answered with
mine. We dueled, exploring each other's mouths.  My pulse pounded in my
ears.

   Breaking off the kiss, Carly said, "I want to.  I really do.  But I
don't know if I'll want to again.  I could hurt you."

   I pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "I understand.  But even if I knew it
was just for this night, I'd do it.  At least then I'd have a beautiful
memory.  No matter what, I'll treasure what we shared for the rest of my
life."

   Standing, I extended a hand to Carly.  She stared at it, teetering on
the brink.  At last, she placed her cool hand in mine.

   I led her into my room.  We lay side by side, facing one another.  I
drew her in for another kiss.

   That kiss went on for more than half an hour.  It's something most guys
don't understand, that girls can be happy with just kissing for its own
sake.  We're often not in a hurry to get our clothes off and move on to
what guys consider the main event.  For us, sex is the whole experience,
not just the parts involving our nether regions.  A feast of sensations,
many different ones to explore and savor.

   Of course, a log will catch fire if you stoke the embers under it long
enough.  Over time, the heat rose up in both of us until we blazed with
passion.

   I took off my top, and Carly followed suit.  Cupping one breast through
her bra, I gently massaged the swollen flesh, and she moaned into my mouth.
I found her already erect nipple and pinched carefully, causing her to arch
her back.

   I disengaged my mouth and said, "Want me to kiss your breasts?"

   She nodded.  "Please."

   Her bra had its clasp on the front, allowing easy access.  But I didn't
swoop down and attack.  I kissed her temple, licked her ear, and tugged on
the lobe with my teeth.  Her neck was a favorite erogenous zone for her,
which I knew because she'd told me.  This knowledge did not go to waste as
I kissed, nuzzled, licked, sucked, nibbled, and stroked, noting her most
sensitive spots for future reference.

   Finally, I got to her breasts, but didn't go for the nipples
immediately. I acquainted myself with her entire chest, learning how best
to make her moan.  Then, and only then, did I take a nipple into my mouth
and suck.

   A sharp intake of breath let me know the effect I was having.  My teeth
had no part in the action, only my lips and tongue.  Sucking, twirling, and
flickering until she writhed, tangling her fingers in my hair and murmuring
wordlessly.

   By rolling on her back, Carly signaled that I should give her other
breast the same love, which I did.  While I was doing this, I slowly moved
my hand under her skirt.

   Letting the nipple pop out of my mouth for a second, I asked, "Is this
all right?"

   She nodded, and her legs fell open.  I created just a hint of friction
with my fingers on her lacy underwear, and she squirmed, raising her hips
to meet my fingers.  I gently teased her sex through the cotton, which was
already wet.

   Withdrawing my hand, I brought my face level to Carly's.  "Do you want
to take it to the next level?"

   Her eyes were glazed and her skin flushed.  "Yes.  Oh, yes."

   I kissed her, deeply.  "Anytime you want to stop or slow down, tell me."

   In answer, she unbuttoned her skirt and kicked it off.  I smiled and
worked my way down her neck, breasts, and belly.  All the way down one leg
and up the other.

   First I pressed a light kiss to her pussy through her panties, and
commenced to kiss and lick, getting her ready for more.  When she began
wiggling, I judged the moment to be right and peeled off her underwear.

   It was beautiful.  Shaved, with an adorable landing strip above, her
pussy glistened with love juice.  I just had to taste it right from the
source.  So I gave the entire area one long, slow lick with the flat of my
tongue.

   The taste was heavenly.  I put my mouth over her pussy and French-kissed
it, always paying attention to each sound and movement she made, learning
what she liked best.  Every girl is different, and I was finding and
committing to memory every button I could, pressing them with all the skill
I possessed.

   "Lex..." she pleaded.

   When Carly's clitoris fully emerged from its hood, I took it in my mouth
and sucked gently, flicking it with my tongue.  Over the next two minutes,
her moans got louder until finally she shrieked and came.

   I rode her bucking hips, keeping up the stimulation on her clit,
extending the pleasure as long as possible until she gently pushed my head
away.

   As she twitched with aftershocks, I kissed the insides of her thighs,
then returned to her pussy and carefully licked the outer labia. 
Gradually, I worked my way back to eating her out as the painful
sensitivity faded and she began to respond again.

   Wetting my fingers in my mouth, I slid two of them into Carly's vagina.
Thrusting in and out, I worked her clit with my tongue.

   My fingers were small, so I added a third and drove harder.  When she
came, I kept licking and sucking on her clitoris until she started to come
down, and then curled my fingers, rubbing her G-spot deep.  This set off
another orgasm, and I thought her pussy would crush the bones in my
fingers.

   I crawled up and planted light, sticky kisses over Carly's face and neck
while she regained awareness.

   A lazy smile stretched across her face.  "Damn, Lex.  That was
unbelievable.  I don't think I've ever come so hard." She gave me a long,
leisurely kiss, tongue meeting the one that had just been in her pussy. 
"Mmm.  I taste good.  Wonder how you taste?"

   Carly pushed me onto my back and kissed me hard.  She stripped off my
bra to fondle my breasts, and I returned the favor.

   Like me, Carly paid attention to every reaction.  When she got to my
nipples I whispered, "Yeah, just like that.  Use your teeth a little."
Communication is key to great sex.

   Each stimulus on my nipples made my groin pulse, and my skin flush with
heat.  Soon I was writhing and thrusting my hips, and Carly gave a nipple
one last lick and scrape of her teeth before working her way down.

   It was a slow, tortuous journey to my pussy.  Carly drew it out, oh so
lazily pulling off my shorts and underwear, kissing me everywhere but my
pussy.  Finally, I resorted to begging.

   "Please, Car, please.  I need it."

   She adopted a confused look.  "Need what?"

   I groaned.  "I need you to eat me.  Please, don't make me wait anymore!"

   Chuckling, she started a licking motion with her tongue, then stopped.
"You sure you want me to?  I don't know if I'll be any good at it."

   "Please!" tore out of my throat, a guttural groan of need.

   Finally, Carly's tongue crept out and licked my clitoris.

   That was it.  At the first touch, I exploded, waves of pleasure wracking
my entire body.  When the tremors calmed, she left my clit alone and plied
my vaginal lips and opening with her tongue, and did I forget to mention
that that organ was pierced?

   Then she straightened her tongue and started fucking me with it, and
holy shit did that feel incredible.  Another climax rapidly approached, and
Carly relentlessly drove me there.

   I shattered into a million pieces and reformed, only to shatter again
and again.  Multiple orgasms shook me until I whited out.

   When I returned to my body, Carly was holding me, stroking my hair and
kissing my forehead.  I'd never felt so loved.

   For a few minutes, we just lay there, kissing and cuddling.

   "What do you think?" I asked.

   "Mmm.  Not too horrible.  A decent way to pass the time," she teased.

   I mock-growled.  "Oh, yeah?" Pinning her on her back, I said, "Just for
that, I'm gonna make you scream."

   "Ha!  I never turn down a challenge." Carly wrenched a hand free and
reached down between us.



   When I awoke, she was gone.

   Some people, at this point, would wonder if they'd dreamed it all.  I'm
a bit more grounded in reality than that.  I could taste her still, feel
her skin on mine, hear her moans.

   Anyway, it looked like that was it.  I wished she would have let me wake
up next to her, even if just once.  But I understood.  Besides, she gave me
one wonderful, glorious night, the memory of which I would cherish forever.

   I went to the bathroom and pulled on some sweatpants and a T-shirt. 
Feeling like I needed to do some writing, I worked on my novel for a bit.

   Before long, though, my stomach started growling, and I padded into the
kitchen to fix myself some breakfast.

   As I unwrapped a couple of Pop-Tarts, the front door opened and Carly
came in, bearing a couple of bags with the logo of our favorite diner on
them.

   "Oh, you're up." She kicked the door closed.  "I was hoping to be back
by then, but I couldn't wait."

   I put the pastries down.  "For what?"

   She started piling takeout boxes on the table.  The scent of eggs and
pancakes permeated the apartment.  "I went to see Parker."

   "Oh."

   Carly walked around the counter and took my hands.  "I told him that he
and I had given it enough chances, and it was time to admit we were never
gonna work out." She smiled sheepishly.  "He noticed I smelled like sex--I
didn't take a shower, just called him and asked to meet at the diner.  I
fessed up.  But I wasn't dumping him for you.  Last night was just the push
I needed to close that chapter of my life."

   I swallowed.  "So...?"

   She lifted a shoulder and let it fall.  "So, I haven't figured out my
sexual orientation.  You know I love you as a friend.  Am I in love with
you?  I don't know, but I want to give it a shot, like you said.  I want to
find out what we can be to each other."

   At that, I threw my arms around her.  Burying my face in her hair, I
choked back sobs.  Tears ran down my cheeks.

   Pulling back, Carly kissed my tears away.  Then she give me the kind of
kiss that stole my breath and curled my toes.

   We continued to exchange soft kisses, and that heat rose again.

   "Um," I said.  "I want to take you to bed again."

   "Mmm."

   "But I'm really hungry."

   "Yeah, me too.  I'm glad you said it." We laughed and got the forks and
napkins out.

   After breakfast, we did indeed go back to bed.  For months, we
alternated between her bed and mine, until one day she suggested moving me
in with her and getting a roommate to help with the rent.

   For five years now, I've been waking up next to Carly.
   Comments to lewriter@hotmail.com