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 This Wife Wants to Experience Other Men, Is Ready to Play

   I'm not really sure how to start this.  I'm a 35-year-old Hispanic
married woman.  I have been married to the same man for 15 years.  He has
been the only man in my sex life.

   But, before I go into the details, let tell you something that happened
about 10 years ago.  My husband and I were in Las Vegas for the first time.
One night we went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant.  I had dressed
very sexy in a short dress, which my husband likes to see me wear.

   Since I'm 5' 7" and 125 lbs, I have been told I have "a killer body."
Men do notice.  Anyway after dinner we were driving around the strip, just
looking.  We happened to go by an adult bookstore, and my husband told me
he wanted to stop and take a look.  I said, "No way I'm not going in
there." I was a kind of naive at the time.

   But, I was not so naive that I didn't have a notion as to the type of
people that go there, and some of the things that go on there.  He said,
"Come on.  It's ok, no one knows us in Vegas anyway." Then I said a flat
no.

   He never brought it up again.  In the back of my mind I was thinking
that he wanted me to go into one of those places because of how I was
dressed.  I felt people were going to think I was a hooker or something. 
You have to understand that I was brought up in a strict Catholic
environment.

   Well, about two months ago we had a party.  We had a lot of friends
over, and something took place that I still think about.  We have friends
that we known for a long time, and we hang around with.  They are all
married couples.

   Anyway, we were setting around talking and drinking wine.  We opened the
last bottle, and I said, "I'll be right back.  I'll go get more out of the
case." My best friend's husband said, "I'll go help you," since the wine
was in a storeroom in the garage.  We were going back laughing small talk,
like lots of times.

   We went into the garage, and as usual had to move my husband's junk out
of the way to get the wine.  I started to pick up something, and he said,
"Wait.  It looks heavy." He came from behind to take it.  As part of his
body touched mine, I trembled, and he picked up on it.

   I had caught him looking lustfully at me over the years more times that
I could count.  As soon as I turned around he pinned me to the wall and
kissed me.  It caught me by complete surprise.  I tired to push back, but I
found myself returning the kiss.  I totally lost it.  I could not stop his
advances.

   He was running his hand up my body, which no man other than my husband
had ever done since we married.  I lost all inhibition.  My head was
spinning.  By then he was having to hold me up.  He picked me up, and at
the same time lifted my skirt up to my waist, and sat me down on a freezer
we had there.

   With my legs spread apart I did say, "It's wrong.  We are both married,
and you are my best friend's husband." What he said floored me, "It's ok.
We have an open marriage." I had no idea, and I had known them for a lot of
years.

   As he was starting to pull my panties down I came to my senses, or we
both did.  I heard my husband and some other people coming out.  As we
walked out, my husband said, "Hey, there you are." He just smiled at me and
went on.

   I'm not sure if he noticed anything.  He has said nothing.  I know he
has an idea of what was going on, because he knows me.  Now I'm having all
kinds of thoughts about what happened...  wondering about the idea of
having another man inside me...  what would it be like.

   Then I came across your web site, and started reading about "hot wives"
"wife sharing," and other ways women enjoy new lovers.  I remember the time
my husband wanted me to go into that adult bookstore.  I wonder if I should
have let him take me in there.  It may have opened my eyes much earlier.

   I would really like to actually feel a new man within me, and to feel
how a man other than my husband makes love.  I do not want to do anything
behind his back.  We are happily married, and I love him very much, but now
I have these feelings.  I'm now to the point that I'm open to anything.

   "Frustrated"

   Dear "Frustrated,"

   Maybe it is time for you to talk to him about that time in Vegas...  to
tell him that you have been re-considering, and that maybe it would be fun
for the two of you to visit an adult bookstore.  Tell him that as he is
making love to you.

   Then, assuming he bites, when the two of you go, encourage him to pick
out a couple adult videos to bring home for your shared viewing.  You might
even pick out a vibrator or two, and some sensuous (flavored?) sex play
lubes.

   Believe me, when you return home with those things, your sex will be hot
that night.  No doubt any video he chooses will include scenes of women
enjoying more than one man.  That's your opportunity.  Let him know with
bodily actions and subtle words that that scene turns you on.  Let him know
that you have recently been wondering what it would be like to have two men
making love to you at once, or wondering what it would be like to have sex
with a new partner.

   Naturally you will want to immediately follow up with assurances that it
is only he who you love.  Gauge his reactions.  If he finds the idea
repugnant, you will probably want to drop the subject.  But, likely he will
be turned-on by your admission (be it ever so minimal).

   Encourage him to bring home more adult videos...  ones with themes he
likes.  Then, while the two of you are viewing them in the privacy of your
bedroom, ask him why he chose that one...  what scenes turn him on?  Ask
him if he thinks couples really do the things depicted in the videos.  Tell
him you have heard about "open marriages," and "wife sharing" sorts of
things, and ask him if he thinks any of your friends are into that sort of
thing.

   If you open up communication with your husband about sexual things,
particularly things that turn you on...  I am reasonably certain he will
respond favorably (unless he is very self-centered or very
narrow-minded)... and things can progress from there.  Keep me posted.

   Love, Joan