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 Recruiting That Extra Gal

   By Joan - 12/06

   This is addressed primarily to couples that wish to invite an extra gal
into their shared erotic fun.  I have assembled these thoughts for a lady
who recently wrote and requested advice on how to find an Extra Gal as a
treat for her husband (who had already treated her to some MFM fun).

   A Few Basic Thoughts:

   You (the female half of the couple) should be the primary one to find
and recruit the extra gal.  While there are lots of gals out there who
would welcome some offbeat sexual fun, they generally respond better to
invitations from women...  unless they are just looking to get laid by a
single guy.

   It is much easier to locate and recruit guys to be the extra guy in an
MFM scene (literally lots of guys will jump at any opportunity to get some
"strange stuff" under any kind of situation).  However, there are lots of
gals (all ages, all sizes, in all parts of the country) who have fantasies
of sexual encounters with another woman and/or a couple.  They just need to
be found, properly cultivated, and discretely invited.

   You (the female half of the couple) need to consider your willingness to
explore sexual fun with that extra gal who you MAY wish to provide
PRIMARILY as a special treat for your man.  Are you willing to explore YOUR
bi-side?  While some gals may be willing to simply join you in enhancing
HIS pleasure, most such women will also want to explore at least SOME
sexual contact with you too...  so that the sex play is truly three-way.

   In most of the following approaches, you and your hubby should have
fictitious names to use.  And, don't give out your actual home address or
phone number.  If YOU (not your hubby) have a cell phone, you MAY want to
give out that number (if your phone doesn't include your name that could
show up on Caller ID).  Remember...  be discrete...  especially during
these initial contact phases.

   Where to Find Her:

   1.  In these modern times of the Internet, that venue can be an
excellent place for finding that Extra Gal.  Try places like
AdultFriendFinder.com, SwingLifestyle.com, or CraigsList.com (where you
will want to start by selecting the geographic area where you live, and
then [under "Personals"] click on "Women Seek Women" or "Casual
Encounters").  Also, read other ads for wording and content ideas.

   You will find tons of ads at these and similar Internet places.  Look
them over until you find an ad that suggests you may have a prospect.  Keep
checking the sites.  Ads change constantly.  Also consider placing your own
ad like: "Woman seeks woman to join her in giving a special treat to
husband."

   2.  Erotic Dance/Stripper Bars These places generally cater to male
customers, but they almost always welcome couples.  Consider suggesting to
your man that the two of you "check out" an Erotic Dance or Stripper Bar...
together.  Go, sit near the stage, order some drinks, and enjoy the show
together.

   If one of the girls shows particular attention to your man and you, see
if she offers private table or lap dances (usually done in a back room...
but not always).  If so, buy your man a treat of a special table or lap
dance just for him.  Be sure to tip the lady.

   While she is with you, tell her you are looking for a gal like her to
join you (at a motel?) to give your hubby some doubled female fun.  This is
one setting where you can be right up front with your wishes.  See what
kind of response you get.  If she does not respond favorably, she may know
a gal who might be interested.  If not, do this routine all over again with
another gal at the bar or at another bar.

   Many couples have been successful in finding extra gals at or through
these bars.

   3.  Beauty Shop/Spa Surprising as it sounds, a fair number of women have
been able to locate extra gals through discrete conversations with their
beautician.  Women always talk with their beautician while having their
hair done.  If your station is discretely away from the ears of others in
the shop, what's wrong with starting a conversation this way: "A good
friend of my confided in me recently that she knows how men in general, and
her husband in particular, would love to occasionally have sex with someone
other than their wives.  She has concluded that under certain
circumstances, her husband having sex with another woman would not bother
her.  She has decided that she would like to find another gal (who she
selects) to join her in giving her hubby a surprise treat.  What do you
think about her ideas?"

   See how the conversation goes from there.  If the beautician is
horrified at the idea, you can always say, "I agree...  it sounds like a
kooky idea!" or "I found her thinking to be smart.  If she is successful,
it will likely keep her hubby's focus more on her, and keep him from
cheating on his own." Then, if she doesn't change her attitude, move on to
other topics.

   However, some women have found that by starting such conversations they
have allowed their beautician to pick up on the topic, and admit their own
openness to such ideas, or to indicate that they know a gal who would love
to get some sex play on the side.  If the conversation goes this way,
suggest that you and your beautician meet for lunch or a drink so you can
talk more openly.  Then, when you meet, you can let her know that it is YOU
who wishes to find a gal to join you in providing a special treat for your
hubby.  If the situation is right, you can even tell her that one of the
reasons you wish to give him this treat is because he has already treated
you to some wonderful MFM fun.

   Spas and Gyms also provide opportunities for discrete conversations with
other women who are otherwise unknown to you.  If you are alone with
another woman in a steam room or hot tub, you can use the above approach to
opening a conversation.  Then, if the other woman shows some interest, you
can always suggest that the two of you meet later for a drink.

   4.  Swinger Clubs If you have not yet visited a Swinger Club, you will
want to know that there are generally two types of swinger clubs... 
on-premises and off-premises.  They tend to be located in virtually every
major US city.  They can be located through "Personals" ads in major
newspapers, or in "alternative" newspapers...  and sometimes through the
Internet.

   After locating such a club in your area, consider suggesting to your
hubby that the two of you visit the club...  "just to see what it is all
about...  not to actually do any swinging or swapping." Of course, once the
two of you are there, you may decide to get in on some of the fun.

   Off-premises swing clubs generally hold dances where like-minded people
can meet, dance, drink, and exchange contact information (or leave
together) for later fun.  Sometimes bars function as off-premises swing
clubs without the operators actually being involved in the play.  They will
advertise discretely something like this: "Tuesday nights, 8 to 10 PM
swingers are welcome.  Just ask for Joe." Then, visiting couples that visit
the bar and ask for "Joe" are often given a candle for their table (colored
differently than the candles on other tables).  That lets patrons
who-are-in-the-know recognize that you are open to meeting other people who
have a swinging inclination.

   On-premises swing clubs generally have facilities for sex play right
within their facilities...  and clothing will be optional (although most
folks will be nude).  They often have hot tubs, dance rooms, private sex
playrooms, and "orgy" rooms.  Couples can usually visit such places on a
no-commitment basis.

   These can be great places to meet other couples and single women. 
Obviously, while hubby is enjoying the scenery, YOU can talk openly with
other women there to see if you can locate a woman who enjoys FMF fun... 
or would be open to it.  While you are there, "No" always means No...  in
case neither you nor your hubby wants to go into any of the side rooms for
sex.  Even if you and he keep the sex between just the two of you there, it
is a great place to watch others play sexually with each other.  A voyeur's
paradise!

   5.  The Masseuse One way to get another woman to join in giving hubby
some intimate fun is to hire a masseuse.  Even if you end up hiring a
"legitimate" masseuse (one who advertises "non-sexual massages only"), you
could provide him with a good time.

   Tell the masseuse that you will be present for the "gift massage" you
are planning for him.  Then, when the masseuse arrives (if it is at your
home rather than at a motel), invite her to set up her table in your
bedroom, if she will.  Make sure there is enough room there, and
insufficient room in the living room.

   If this is a surprise to your hubby, this is when he will learn for the
first time that the massage is for him.  You can tell him to get fully
undressed, and to wrap a towel around himself before returning for his
massage.  It would be best if he were also freshly showered.

   While he is out of the room, tell the masseuse that you would like to
watch and learn how to give your man a really good massage.  Then, while
she is reading her table and oils, you can slip away and dress down into
minimal clothing (lingerie?, shorts and halter top?).  Then, join her again
as you wait for him.

   When he lies on the table (usually face down at first), pull his towel
away.  She may want to put a sheet over him.  Just tell her, "That's not
needed.  We don't worry about nudity." Then, regardless how she responds to
that, ask her if you can follow along with her massage techniques, watching
how she massages, and then doing the same things for him yourself.

   Eventually he will be laying face up (uncovered...  unless she objects).
At some point take the opportunity to use an oily hand to stroke your
hubby's penis (even if you have to reach under a towel or sheet).  Just
smile at her and say something like: "He likes this part massaged too."

   If the masseuse does not object, encourage her to do likewise.  "I'm
sure he would like to feel your hands there too," or, "You work on him here
(pointing to his crotch) as I massage his chest."

   If she responds favorably, move up and give him a kiss as she massages
his cock and balls.  Let her hear you ask him "Do you like that honey?" His
favorable reply will likely encourage her to drop her guard and continue
with more intimate massaging than the usually offers.

   If things have gone well to this point, take one of your hubby's hands
and slide it under your lingerie or shorts so he can play with your pussy
as she continues to massage him.

   If she moves away from his crotch, you could move between his legs, bend
over, and kiss his privates.  If she does not object, give him a blowjob
for a while as she continues to massage his chest or head.

   Even if this is all the farther things go this time, your hubby will
love the experience.  However, if it has gone anywhere near this far, you
might want to suggest that the massage move to the bed.  Throw the covers
back so that just the sheet is showing, and suggest, "I think he would be
more comfortable here." Nudge him to move to the bed, and invite her to
continue her massage.  Then, remove your own clothes and lay next to him.
If she is still cooperative, invite her to remove her own clothes and
continue his massage while lying on the bed on the other side of him.

   Now a "legitimate" masseuse may never let you take things this far... 
but take it as far as she is willing, and let your hubby enjoy the doubled
attention.  If the lady is willing to move things along as you suggest,
tell her openly that you would love to see your hubby enjoy her
intimately...  that he has your approval.

   Be prepared to pay not only her regular fee...  but also a generous tip
(based on how much extra "service" she provides).  See if she would be
willing to join you again in giving your hubby some extra fun.

   If you check such places as CrtaigsList.com (under "Services"
"Therapeutic") you will occasionally be able to read between the lines that
a masseuse is willing to provide sexual pleasures.  That is also true in
the "Personals" section of many major or alternative newspapers.

   If you locate a gal this way, chances are you won't have to play many of
the games suggested above.  You could start out early on by saying, "Since
this is intended to be a very special gift for my hubby...  why don't' you
and I just get nude like he will be.  I'll see that you get some extra tips
if you can join me in making him extra happy."

   6.  Gay Bars Most metropolitan areas have gay bars, including at least
some lesbian bars.  The patrons a lesbian bars are not all lesbians.  Some
are women who are bi, and some are women who are just curious about offbeat
sexual encounters.

   Some couples have found lesbian (or mixed gay bars) to be great places
for meeting women who are receptive to FMF fun.  They go in, find a table
near the dance floor (a common feature of such bars), and order a drink. 
They will find that the exclusively lesbian women will be less than
friendly toward them.

   However, they often find a few women who are willing to befriend them.
In such cases, if the woman is receptive, the husband might ask the new
lady to dance.  If she is receptive, he dances ONE dance with her and then
suggests that his wife dance with her next.  If the lady accepts both
dances, invite her back to your table and buy her a drink.  He can head for
the men's room for a few minutes while YOU (his wife) engage the new woman
in conversation.

   Tell her openly that you would love to have (the new woman) join you and
your hubby at a motel for some shared fun...  that you want to give your
husband some special FMF fun, while getting to know her better.  If she is
receptive, upon hubby's return, head out to a nearby motel.

   If the lady was not receptive to that first dance with him, YOU should
ask her to dance with you.  See how intimate the woman wants to me (by the
day she dances with you), and tell her (right there on the dance floor)
that you would love to have her join you and your hubby for some three-way
fun.

   You can almost be assured that one of the above approaches will enable
you to find a suitable gal to join you in providing a special FMF
experience for your hubby...  while likely providing you some opportunity
to gently explore your own bi side.

   Love, Joan