SHE'S READY TO TRY HER FIRST MFM THREESOME... BUT HAS QUESTIONS FOR JOAN December 17, 1998 Joan, Thanks so much for sending the stories. I do appreciate it. I apologize for being so late in writing back to you. Christmas has kept me busy to say the least. I do apologize!!! You asked a few questions, and I'll try to answer them... and also share some other things with you. I am a 45-year-old divorced woman. No, I don't live in a Metropolitan area. I live in a "semi-small" town in East Texas. However, I am only about 2 1/2 hours from Dallas and about 30-45 minutes away from Shreveport Louisiana. Shreveport/Bossier City has several casinos and clubs, and is a place that Larry (my boyfriend) and I enjoy going for the weekend. Kids - I have two boys. One is in college, and the other is a junior in high school. My youngest splits his time between me and his dad (who lives in the same town in which I reside). I am quite proud of both boys. My youngest is still trying to "find himself", but is a good kid overall. No, Larry and I have not tried a threesome yet. As I mentioned in my last note to you, we are considering it. I have only been with two men in my 45 years (Geez, that sounds old!) - Larry and ButtHead... my ex! Larry and I sort of got into talking about it one night while we were watching an XXX video. We had seen XXX videos before that included various scenes with multiple partners, and neither one of us had really said anything about it. However, that particular night, Larry said something like, "How would you feel about having sex with me and someone else at the same time?" Well, I didn't know if he was kidding, or wanting me to say no (you know... 'no one but you baby!'), or if he was really serious. I think I answered something like, "It might be fun to have two cocks to play with at once, but you give me all I want," or something like that. I really didn't know what to say. A week or so later, Larry and I were making love. Actually, I was going down on him, with my pussy in his face! Ok, we were in a 69! (haha) Anyway, he stopped eating me (which I used to despise when I was married, but have grown to love!), and soon I felt something enter my pussy. Later I found out that, unknown to me, Larry had bought a dildo, and had planned on using it in just this type of situation. We had talked about buying some toys during some of our earlier conversations, but I had no idea he had done so. Well, as he slid it into me, he said something like, "Janie, I bought us a new toy." So I quickly knew what I was feeling. After a few seconds, I relaxed and began to enjoy the feeling of the dildo sliding in and out of me, and I returned to sucking Larry's cock (something else that I NOW love to do). Soon, I was really into it, and Larry started saying things like, "Baby, pretend that there's another real cock inside you, while you are sucking me. Yeah Janie, it is a stranger's big cock, fucking you while you are sucking me. Doesn't it feel good... you sucking me and having another cock in your pussy?" Things like that. Much too easily (possibly), I began to fantasize... thinking about really having two men, one of them being Larry of course... and I began sucking Larry voraciously. As I felt him come inside my mouth, he continued to stroke me with the dildo and began babbling something about, "Now, I'm going to come in your hot pussy." That was all it took, I literally EXPLODED! Later, as we lay together in bed, Larry asked me if I had enjoyed having two cocks inside me at the same time. Before I tell you my reply, let me state that Larry and I are completely honest with each other... in all things. We have both shared our innermost thoughts with each other, both sexual and non-sexual. Anyway, I always know that I can be honest with him, and I hope (and believe) he feels likewise. So, to his question, I replied, "Yes, I had enjoyed it... A LOT!" I went on to tell him it was the first time that I had ever had THE FEELING OF two cocks in me simultaneously, and it was very much a turn-on. I continued by explaining that although I did enjoy it, I had hesitations and reservations about having another "real" cock inside me. His "being both cocks" was one thing, but I didn't know how I would feel about actually having a third party involved. Well, we have repeated the above scenario several times since that first occasion, and each time I have enjoyed it a little more. We have even gotten to the point of referring to such nights as our "Threesome Nights." So, yes, I have come to the point where I THINK I would like to try a real threesome at least once. So, now my comments... and questions... for you: 1. I KNOW that I would have to have our threesome in another town. I would not feel comfortable otherwise. I think that like that couple in one of the stories you sent me, I would prefer for us to meet at a hotel or the hotel bar. Then, if things then went "ok," we could go to our room. If not, then we wouldn't have the worry about having someone know where we live and who we are. Is that a sound idea? Joan's Reply - That is an excellent idea. You will probably want to start off using fictitious names for yourselves. It is always best if one or both of you "interview" the potential extra guy before you are committed to having him join you in bed. Such an "interview" may be short and informal... or it may be extended, with several pre-planned questions, and some form of physical contact for you (like dancing) before you definitely decide to invite this guy into your shared lovelife. Since you live in a fairly small community... yes, I think it is the best idea to start by trying to meet another guy in a distant city. 2. Our general plan is also similar to the one we read in one of your stories. Larry would try to make initial contact with someone unknown to us, either in Dallas or in Shreveport. We would meet the guy in the bar. I would be dressed provocatively (I do that on our weekend getaways now anyway! Haha), and maybe a dance, a drink, some conversation. What if I don't like the guy? Is it a problem to "just say no"? Joan's Reply - No, it is NEVER a problem... or unacceptable... to "just say no!" You are clearly the one who is in charge of your body... including your sexuality. It should ALWAYS BE YOU who decides that a particular guy or situation is comfortable for you... or is not. When you meet this unknown guy, you should start with the premise that his cock is not going to tour your pussy unless YOU want him to...unless YOU have at least some level of "turn-on" with this guy... even if you plan to be more passive with him, and more focused on your regular partner. Chances are that you will want to say "yes" when that discrete threesome opportunity arises... but don't hesitate to say "no" if you don't like this particular guy. There are lots of guys out there... and you don't want your first threesome to be with someone you don't like... or someone who is so into himself that your pleasure is secondary (at best). If you do meet at a bar where there is dancing, and you have tentatively decided that this new guy may work, invite him to dance with you. You will get some idea about his tenderness, and his focus on your pleasure... by the way he dances with you. If he is a gentle-man, you will sense it. If he is egotistical and self- centered, you may want to avoid inviting him to join you back at the room. If you learn that this man has some previous threesome experience, that could be a real plus. It is better if at least one of the three of you has some previous experience. Larry or you may even want to ask this guy what he would like to do to/with you... how he believes he can add to your level of pleasure. Ask if he enjoys treating a woman to prolonged orally-induced pleasure... if he would like to stroke his cock slowly in and out of your pussy from behind you, while you neck with Larry... if he would feel comfortable if he or his cock touches Larry or Larry's cock while they are both making love to you. Be frank in your pre-go-to-the-room conversation. You can do so if you have chosen a corner table for your conversations. Finally, if you do decide you feel comfortable with this new guy, look him directly in his eyes, and tell him that you look forward to the pleasures his tongue can give you... to the feel of his cock inside you while you neck with Larry, etc. Believe me, at this point, the show is ready to roll! It won't take the three of you long to get to your room. On the other hand, if you don't end up feeling comfortable with this guy, tell the guys that you need to go to the lady's room... and let that be a pre- arranged signal to Larry that you DO NOT want to include this guy in your first threesome. Then, stay away while Larry politely thanks him for meeting with you both... and tells him that HE feels that today/tonight is not the right time for he and you to try your first threesome... that maybe the three of you can meet some other time (as you say... "haha"). Then when he leaves, you and Larry can make plans for meeting another (more comfortable) guy for a future first threesome party. Nothing (but time) lost. 3. One of my biggest fears is that we will go to the room and I will "chicken out." As I told you, I have only been with two men in my life. While my self- confidence has grown greatly since my relationship with Larry, I still have some doubts. Will he think I am attractive? Am I too fat? But, most of all, what if I JUST CAN'T bring myself to do it??? Could it get ugly??? Joan's Reply - Good questions. First, let me assure you that if this guy thinks you are unattractive or "too fat," you will pick up on that back at the bar or on the dance floor. If you do, stop things before you ever get to the room. From what you have told me about yourself, I doubt that will happen. You said you intended to dress "provocatively," so just KNOW that you are a desirable woman who he would LOVE TO FUCK! Let me make some suggestions to help you avoid getting into a motel room with an extra guy who seems "right," and then finding that you "just can't do it." Since you have not yet had any experiences of sex with... or nudity in front of two guys at once... it is somewhat understandable that you worry about "chickening out." Have a plan with Larry before you return to the room. As soon as you enter the room, leave the guys alone and go into the bathroom for some last minute "freshening up." Actually, you should take advantage of this time to give yourself a last minute douche so your pussy is as fresh and clean as possible. While you are in the bathroom, remove ALL of your clothes. You may want to plan ahead, and have a sexy negligee or gown to put on. Have Larry primed to start removing his clothes as soon as you leave and close the bathroom door. He can encourage the other guy to remove his clothes too. You might want to have some wine or other liquor in the room so Larry can fix each of you a drink while they are waiting. Let the guys remain standing... or sitting on chairs (not the bed) before you come out. Larry may even want to turn down the lights... or just have a few candles lit. When you come out of the bathroom in your negligee or gown... and nothing else... smile at both guys, and then give Larry a big kiss. Encourage Larry to have a drink waiting for you. Depending upon your comfort level, you may want to give the other guy a kiss... and you may want to wrap your hand around one or both of their bare cocks. If you do that, believe me, you WILL NOT CHICKEN OUT! Things will go well from there. If... at this point... you do not feel sufficiently comfortable, let your necking just be with Larry, and let yourself melt into his nude body. He can take that as a sign that you want him to lead things from there. He can gently lay you on the bed (hopefully toward the middle), and can begin opening your gown and making love to you. If you choose, you can be relatively passive. Believe me the other guy... if he is alive and red-blooded... will join the two of you on the bed, and will begin to join Larry in caressing and making love to you. Worst case scenario... you remain passive, and let the guys be the aggressors. There is NO reason to expect anything to get "ugly." If necessary... let Larry do the leading. However, as mentioned above, its your body. If you have given yourself a reasonable opportunity to become comfortable, and you decide things are not working... just whisper to Larry that things must stop. I am sure Larry will heed your request (in favor of a better next time), and will politely invite the other guy to leave. 4. How do I assure Larry that I love him... and only him... if I go through with it and find it enjoyable? I'm afraid that if I do like it - no, LOVE it - I could start babbling something that I might later regret. I love to talk while Larry and I are making love, and am so afraid that I will get caught up in the "moment" and say something like, "Oh yeah Baby, that's the best fuck I ever had." Even though I wouldn't mean it, I might say it... and I know I would regret it. Joan's Reply - Just keep in mind that whatever good feelings you experience while another guy is joining you and Larry, they are pleasures and experiences that LARRY is giving you... the extra guy is a "gift" from (or allowed by) Larry... and the "best fuck" or elevated levels of orgasmic pleasure have only happened because Larry gave them to you. That way, your mind will stay focused primarily on Larry during your three-way lovemaking. Don't worry that you will enjoy a threesome TOO MUCH. You SHOULD enjoy it a great deal. Remember, your pleasures are intentionally being DOUBLED. That was Larry's plan from the beginning. Four hands, two mouths, two cocks... and all with you as the center of their attention! How do you assure Larry that you love him... even at these times? Just keep telling him. Tell him even while the other guy is plowing your brains out. Sometimes during your threesome, let Larry hold you in his arms and neck with him while the other guy is eating or screwing you... and whisper into Larry's ears that you love him and what he is allowing you to enjoy right then. Tell him what sensations you are experiencing right then. Believe me, he wants to know. He wants to know how you are responding to the situation... to the other guy's tongue... to the other guy's techniques... to the feel of a new cock within your body. Most guys are voyeurs. Most guys TRULY ENJOY watching "their woman" being pleasured by another guy. The only thing to avoid is verbal comparisons. Obviously, it would be poor form to say, "Larry, his cock is so much bigger/thicker than yours." However, if you really do sense a different feeling within you when one or the other of them screws you; later you can always share with Larry that you enjoyed the different feel... the different techniques that the two guys showered on you. Different is good! Again, you got to experience that "difference" because Larry made it (allowed it to) happen. It was his gift! When the new guy leaves, shower Larry with lots of kisses and oral attention... and renew your proclamations of love to him. Thank him for making your first threesome possible and wonderful. 5. The problem of AIDS and other sexual diseases is a real concern to me. The thought of this could be one of my reasons for "chickening out." Joan's Reply - A reasonable concern. Lets put things in perspective. You could contract AIDS from just about any guy you have sex with. For that matter, you could contract it if you ever need a blood transfusion. Now that doesn't mean that you should throw caution to the wind. Rather, you need to exercise discretion in ALL of your sexual contacts... to reduce the likelihood of contracting any sexually-transmitted disease. Larry... bless his heart... could occasionally get some outside sexual "relief." For that matter, you could too! As it is, technically, you are now "sleeping with every partner Larry has ever had." And, he is sleeping with every partner you have ever slept with (ButtHead), and every partner ButtHead ever slept with before you and he separated. There could already be lots of history in your bed! The only way to eliminate risk is to eliminate sex in your life. Short of that extreme approach, you will want to exercise judgment in who you and Larry bring to your bed. Gay guys, and guys who are actively bi- have a higher risk of bringing things to your bed. Guys who use intravenous drugs are not a good risk to bring into your bed. This is one of the reasons the pre-go-to-the-room meeting in the bar is a good idea. Use that time to ask questions. You could almost ask the questions in a way that suggests you guys really enjoy "getting high" occasionally. See what kind of responses you get. If he admits to enjoying marijuana occasionally, that's no big deal. On the other hand, if he enthusiastically responds to your seeming interest in drugs... and says he enjoys harder stuff... say good bye. If he indicates that he has had a lot (not just once or twice) of experience giving/getting sexual pleasure from guys... say good bye. As you see how the guy is dressed, and learn some info about his lifestyle, you can judge for yourself if he brings unreasonable risks to your bed. Again, if so... say goodbye. Otherwise, just keep in mind that all sexual interaction brings with it some risks. You can always insist on a condom the first few times... if you still feel uncertain. While you are dancing, or once you are all in bed, you may get a clue about this guy's personal hygiene... or any deficiencies there. If so, end the session. If you have made a conscious effort to exercise good judgment in your selection of another guy, your risks should be minimal. Enjoy yourself! 6. Finally, what is YOUR suggestion to my concerns? Am I too concerned to even try a threesome? I want to, but I have all of these questions and worries. What would you do if you were me? Would it be better to not have "sexual relations" (as defined by the President! Haha) with another man the first time? I have thought about that. Maybe just oral sex at first. What do you think? Joan's Reply - You do have an interesting variety of concerns and worries. But, I don't think any of them are unusual. Now that you have honestly set your concerns and worries out on the table... and have at least considered my replies to them... I think you are ready to "go for it!" Sure. You could limit your first encounter into threesome fun to shared oral pleasure. That's doesn't necessarily eliminate health concerns... but it could reduce them. I know several women who don't allow intercourse by the other guy during the first couple of times together... just shared oral pleasures. They simply tell the guy that limitation before going to the room. These same women usually move on to full screwing by the second or third meeting. Frankly, I don't think if makes any difference either way. Oral sex can be fun too. But, you may be missing something if you don't experience another guy's cock buried deep inside you while Larry holds you in his arms and necks with you. Either way... it sounds to me like you are ready to move ahead with your first MFM threesome in one form or another. I genuinely believe it is time for you to experience and enjoy some of the multiple-male-partner sex fun that I have so often experienced and enjoyed. Believe me, you are in for a treat! I sincerely hope you will keep me posted on your progress. Write me with all the details soon after Larry and another guy treat you to your first threesome. I am sorry again for being so long in writing back, and for this being such a long letter. If I don't hear from you in the next week, I wish you a great Holiday season. Love, Janie NOTE from Joan: It was March, 1999 before I again heard from Janie. She and Larry had already enjoyed four different MFM experiences... three with one guy, and once with a new, younger guy. "I was real antsy that first time," she reported, "but both guys were very tender and moved slowly until I relaxed." "The part I enjoyed most that first time was laying on my side facing Larry and necking with him while I felt the other guy's cock slowly enter my very wet pussy and gently slide in and out as Larry and I necked." "Larry constantly reassured me, and hugged me tightly when my first new-cock-orgasm hit. It was WONDERFUL! Both guys had already spent lots of time licking and sucking my pussy and clit earlier." "We have been with him (Owen) two more times. I have gotten so that I enjoy sucking them both, and letting them alternately screw me (tag-team style). They can keep me going through orgasm after orgasm." "We expect to get together with Owen some more. He is married. We meet him out of town during his various business trips. He had been involved in MFM sex with another couple for a few months before we met... and he still occasionally gets together with them. We don't see that as a problem. He is very gentle." "Last week we visited a nightclub in Shreveport and met another guy that we later got together with. Fred is younger than Larry and I, but is a very accomplished lover. I think that may have been a one-night thing, but I am sure we will try that nightclub again." "Thanks Joan for your help. You were right! I really enjoy the new things Larry and I are trying. Larry loves it too." Your Friend Janie