Disclaimer: Whenever I use the words “romance,” “attracted,”
“crush,” and “infatuation,” as well as their variations, I am
using them in a platonic sense. References to sex are platonic,
unless specifically stated otherwise. When I say “pedophile,” I
am referring to an adult with a platonic attraction to children.
“Child molester” is exactly what it sounds like.



Summary: The fifth of a 5-chapter essay. My thoughts on
“childhood innocence” and other social norms that cause children
more harm than good, people who try too hard to be heroes, and
tips on how to keep kids safe from predators.



  A big problem with children is that most people don't
understand the point of childhood. Childhood <i>should</i> be a
time where people start learning as much as possible about the
world around them. Learn different sides of the story from people
of all walks of life. Hone skills that will serve them when
adults aren't around to do it for them. Allowed to make their own
mistakes and learn from them. Raised to be good people period,
not just wait until adulthood and expected to either get lucky or
automatically mature with age and know everything.

  But most people see childhood as this carefree period where
kids have to conform to a string of stereotypes and rules. Kids
should always be having “fun,” which is often more judged by the
adults than the kids, going to school, and bowing to parents who
aren't ready for parenthood. Kids should be completely shielded
from the big, bad real world and be raised to see the world as
all sunshine and rainbows. They should not be allowed to watch or
listen to violent media. If they ask questions about big issues,
lie to them. Disregard human nature and treat stress,
infatuation, etc. like something only adults are capable of. Kids
should be seen, not heard because they are too stupid to make
their own decisions and describe their own feelings.

  God forbid a child does any of that stuff, or they'll be
growing up too fast and corrupted for life. If a kid stops
following the rules at any time, there <i>must</i> be something
wrong with him/her. Let kids be kids (retarded, subjective
phrase) and maintain their innocence. Save the drama for
adulthood.

  So many flaws in that selfish, stupid mindset. It's
disrespectful to children. It gives parents an excuse to be lazy
and not teach their kids about life. Society raises kids to be
ignorant, yet people blame their ignorance on age. Different
cultures have different views on the purpose of childhood, some
of which work better than the rules I mentioned. It stunts the
child's mental growth. It serves the adults who believe in it,
but usually does little to help the children. Some of these rules
are a recipe for making bigots. Many wealthy, happy adults got to
that point <i>because</i> they “grew up too fast.” And the list
goes on.

  I don't buy for a second that people who want to preserve
childhood innocence are doing so to help kids. From where I'm
standing, it's all about ego and control. Ask the kids how much
they care about you judging them by their age. As a matter of
fact, ask them for advice in keeping kids safe. Why don't the
kids get a say in rules meant for <i>their</i> own protection? I
can go into all sorts of details about why I hate this mentality
with a passion. But I'm way off topic as it is, so I'll just talk
about the reasons that relate to pedophilia.

  Many adults believe that children can't handle certain things
just because of their age. So they simply keep it out of their
reach via parental codes and store policies. And since they're
hiding the stuff anyway, they see no reason to teach kids about
it now. This might work for some kids, but others aren't nearly
as stupid as American society raises them to be. If one way
doesn't work, they'll find another way to get what they want.

  Say Jimmy sneaks onto the computer and figures out the parental
codes. Mommy and daddy were so confident that simply banning him
from the internet would keep him safe, they never bothered to
tell him what an online predator is. Soon, he makes a new friend
in a chat room. The two talk on a frequent basis, and the friend
asks to meet Jimmy. Jimmy tells him where he lives and invites
the friend over. Make your own conclusion.

  And for the record, if a child did encounter an online
predator, it's not like the predator can reach through the screen
and grab him/her. A predator can't do <i>anything</i> unless the
child willingly gives out personal information or goes out to
meet him/her. It wouldn't matter if every single person on the
website was a predator. As long as the child doesn't reveal
his/her contact information, he/she is safe. Screw up that
single, simple rule, and then the problem begins. In which case,
it's either a hardheaded child, or his/her parents are complete
idiots. Of course, a better response would be to log off when a
suspicious adult shows up.

  Obviously, not all parents have the “childhood innocence”
mentality. There are people who not only disbelieve in it, but
still forget the most important part of being a parent: teaching.
They answer “whys” about warnings with “because I said so,” and
expect the kids to just do as they are told. There are parents
out there who will scream at and/or hit their kids just to get
their point across.

  Some of those kids are easy prey to molesters who start off
with the friend game. Riddle me this. If you had to choose
between talking to parents who would hit and/or scream at your
just for asking questions, or a guy who was nice to you, but –
unbeknownst to you – really wanted to hurt you, who would you
talk to?

  Let's say Jenny likes to be around Chester because he doesn't
talk at or down to her. He doesn't scream at her all the time. He
listens to her problems, and gives her a place to stay when the
parents go crazy on her. In Jenny's mind, her parents hate her,
so she doesn't tell them about her new friend or where she's
going. Again, make up your own conclusion from there.

  There is <i>no</i> reason why a child should not know what a
molester is. I believe they should learn as early as possible.
None of that “they're too young to understand” or “because I said
so” crap. Schools and parents need to educate them on warning
signs. Teach them how to defend themselves and/or speak out if
they ever do meet a molester. Teach them not to believe a
molester when he/she threatens to kill them or their family if
they tell.

  And for God's sakes, don't just give that “you'll never see
your parents again” reason when talking to kids about strangers.
When I was a kid, I would have happily followed a stranger who
said I'd never have to put up with my parents again. There are
many children who don't like their parents, and will unknowingly
put themselves in harm's way for that reason alone.

  Certain sexual actions feel good, regardless of how old a
person is. And people in general tend to enjoy and therefore want
more bad things that feel good at the moment. Just telling them
it's wrong does not always work. “Bad touch” without a clear
reason why not only makes it easier for molesters to start slow
and work their way up to more painful actions.

  One of society's moral codes is that parents are always right,
and any kid who disagrees with their parents is a bad kid. More
times than the kids care to hear, so-called role models are
shoving that crap down their throats. Strangers tell them to
listen to their parents no matter what, not knowing that kid may
be abused by his/her parents behind closed doors every day.

  Parents have far too much freedom, in my opinion. They can beat
their kids for any reason they want. They are allowed to teach
kids whatever stupid mentalities they want. They are allowed to
snoop through the kids' rooms and invade their privacy. But
that's okay; parents are the ones who gave the kids all that
stuff. Kids don't need privacy from the people who put a roof
over their heads. Right?

  Statistically speaking, parents are more likely than anyone
else to molest a child. As a matter of fact, a child is literally
more likely to be struck by lightning than abused by a stranger.
I'll bet my life that this is mainly because of the mama's boys
and girls who think parents can do no wrong and feel the need to
play superhero for people they don't know.

  Since the kids are (raised to be) too vulnerable and clueless
to protect themselves, adults have to do it for them.
Unfortunately, some people don't know what they're doing with
their role.

  On YouTube, there are quite a few videos of kids dancing in a
sexual manner and encouraged and/or recorded by family, including
parents. Yes, I watch those videos. Scroll down to the comments,
and quite a few of them are calling all those involved, including
the kids, all sorts of names, talking about how wrong the content
is, how bad they hate everyone involved, and so on. I'm not even
going to question why they are watching those videos in the first
place.

  You know what else these people often do? Take snippets of the
videos and edit them into their video rants. Send the original
videos to other websites. Email them to friends. Broadcast them
on the news. And then even more people (including pedophiles) end
up seeing the video. Even when the original gets taken down, the
video rants and the duplicate videos that say “bad parenting” in
the tags remain online. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they
were distributing child porn.

  You know those girls who did the Beyonce dance on stage wearing
red and black? I genuinely feel sorry for those girls. Not
because I have a baseless suspicion that they were forced to do
it. Not because I believe kids should conform to the “childhood
innocence” stereotype. But because of the aftermath. Their dance
ended up on the news, people are openly talking and name-calling,
YouTubers made video rants about it, and now the kids have to
grow up to that tainted image. To me, that's a lot more damaging
than what pedophiles do behind their computer screens. I think a
child who became famous for something morally wrong and being
described as this and that has a chance of being pretty screwed
up in the future. Courtesy of the idiots who thought they were
somehow protecting the kids, yet made it worse.

  And then there's people who cheer the YouTube kids on and say
derogatory things about them via comments. The people I mentioned
earlier really don't like these people. And they make it known by
typing threats to trace them, call the authorities, and so on.

  Has it ever occurred to you that <i>maybe</i> those people are
just trolls? A pedophile (who isn't a complete idiot) wouldn't
jeopardize his/her access to free, legal stuff just to comment on
how much it turns them on. Trolls, on the other hand, couldn't
care less about online threats. They'll say anything on any video
to get people riled up, then just laugh off the threats. I'd be
more concerned with parents who let their kids dance like that.

  A popular complaint about Facebook, MySpace, etc. is the belief
that a large number of pedophiles prowl the websites. So kids
aren't allowed to make profiles there. I once heard someone
ranting about Facebook and mention that she put the wrong age and
quickly had some faceless adults friend her.

  The thing that stood out to me was “faceless.” In other words,
no profile picture. In other words, she had no idea what those
people looked like. She could only see what was typed on their
profile. That is hardly a good way to identify someone. When I
was a teenager, I lied about my age, country, race, state,
religion, you name it, on many websites. A lot of people, not
just pedophiles, do the same. Even today, I hardly even trust
people who do have pictures. Isn't one of the rules of the net to
not believe everything people tell you?

  With all the hype about pedophiles, you'd think society would
get over this need to keep kids ignorant of the world and teach
them how to keep themselves safe. Let's face it: kids are not
always going to have adults around who care about their safety.
Instead, we get lazy people who would rather sweep everything
under the rug. We get people who go through incredibly stupid
methods to help the kids, and make it worse. And then they all
get surprised when it backfires.