Disclaimer: Whenever I use the words "romance," "attracted,"
"crush," and "infatuation," as well as their variations, I am
using them in a platonic sense. References to sex are platonic,
unless specifically stated otherwise. When I say "pedophile," I
am referring to an adult with a platonic attraction to children.
"Child molester" is exactly what it sounds like.



Summary: In this third of a 5-part essay, I talk about
discrimination towards pedophiles and the risks of coming out.



  Pedophiles are a lot more common than people realize. Living
next door, delivering your mail, serving you at your favorite
restaurant, starring in your favorite movies, etc. Some pedos
blend in quite easily simply because the masses think we're all
as stupid, uncontrollable, and dangerous as the people in the
news. While the masses are wallowing in paranoia over idiots
masturbating in playgrounds, and inspecting computers for child
porn, some pedophiles are happily married to adults, admiring
kids from afar, and have no romantic or sexual interest in their
own kids.

  You've probably hung around a few pedos for years without even
knowing it. Maybe you still are. And the only reason you don't
know is, not because they never touched your kids, it's because
of our need to keep our interests a secret. That's it. Not all
pedophiles are obsessed with children; many are quite "normal"
aside from being capable of infatuation with kids. Be honest, how
would you feel if your long-time best friend admitted and
convinced you that he was a pedophile? Would you hold onto the
fact that he seemed normal in your many years of friendship and
accept him? Or would you spy on him and review every memory and
tell yourself about signs that weren't really there?

  A pedophile who truly wants to overcome his/her sexual urges
would be hard-pressed to find a psychiatrist to discuss it with.
The moment a pedo--even one who does not want to have sex with
kids--admits to their orientation, the "professional" will
immediately put their walls up and brand him/her as evil. Maybe
even be ready to call the police if the pedo has children of
his/her own. How are pedophiles supposed to be cured of their
alleged mental disorder if anyone we turn to would rather
incriminate us instead, whether we have self-control or not? Not
to make excuses for rapists, but to me it's common sense that if
someone with sexual problems was deprived of any help with their
problem before it's too late, they will eventually go out and
commit the crime, regardless of their orientation.

  Even depression message boards won't take us. I once read a
post on a depression forum from someone with a handful of
problems, including fear of being a possible pedo. He also said
that he once watched a child porn cartoon that creeped him out.
Everyone who replied zoomed in on the part about being a possible
pedophile and completely ignored everything else he said. They
weren't outright disrespectful, but they did comment on their
hate of child molesters. Despite the fact that he said in the
beginning that the thought of sex with children sickened him.

  Unfortunately, I can relate to that guy and his feedback. I
posted a short rant about the confusion between pedophiles and
child molesters on a different forum. Surprisingly, I did get
some positive feedback, even from those who disagreed with
pedophilia. Of course, the negative responses were nothing more
than ignorance. Putting words in my mouth, never giving me a
legit reason why they think it's wrong to be attracted to kids,
other than the "social norms" excuse, etc. One person assumed
quite bluntly that I look at child pornography. Funny thing is, I
specifically said in the very first paragraph that I have no
interest in doing anything physical, and said multiple times
throughout the rant that I hate adults who hurt children.

  Pedophiles don't have mainstream message boards of our own to
frequent. Evidently, some members like to exchange child porn on
those kinds of websites, which gets them shut down. If that's the
case, go ahead and shut those sites down. But I have a hard time
believing that it's impossible for pedos to have a big message
board without keeping out people like that. Then again, I'm far
from a computer tech.

  I once visited a small forum for "my kind" of pedophiles. As it
was the first time I've been in contact with another pedo, the
forum killed off any pre-judgements I had or ever will have about
pedophiles. "Normal" people would either dismiss many of the
(less than 20) members as liars or be appalled by what they had
to say. The forum had strict rules against discussing fantasies.
Members weren't even allowed to list celebrities they were
infatuated with. And you know that "pedo-magnet" known as
Toddlers and Tiaras? Everyone there, including me, despises that
show, and other beauty pageants that turn kids into sex objects.

  I was shocked at how much self-loathing was on that forum. Some
of the members believe pedophilia is wrong. Some members
considered all pedophiles a risk to children, and should stay
away from the kids they're attracted to. Some members believe
that mere fantasies are wrong. Obviously, I disagree with a lot
of them, but I admire the fact that the mods make an effort to
support the troubled pedos and keep the proud pedos from saying
too many things that may make the authorities monitoring the
forum suspicious. Sure, there weren't many members, but I'd
rather judge pedophilia from the text of a few real pedophiles on
a computer than millions of non-pedos who only know of one
perspective.

  Sometimes, we do hear the pedophile's side of the story in
major media. There are documentaries where pedophiles are
interviewed. We often hear them make excuses for what he/she did,
how they were abused by their parents, how regretful they are,
and so on. Only problem is, the interviewee is typically someone
who has been charged with molesting a child. To take their words
as the official handbook of pedophilia would be no different than
seeing all husbands as abusive just because some of them beat
their wives.

  Like all hot topics, whenever someone wants to share a
different, more positive perspective, the masses don't want to
hear it. Book publishers don't want to touch the subject of
harmless pedophiles. Hollywood doesn't want to show us in a
positive light. Even average joes who aren't pedophiles get
backlash for trying to educate friends and family of people like
me. Society hates to have its morals questioned. They would
rather stew in their comfort zone of "that's the way it is," and
when someone challenges it with evidence and scientific facts,
they just sweep it under the rug and deny it like cowards.

  Meanwhile, stories from rape victims and the media are all over
the place. I hate to say it, but I can understand victims hating
all pedophiles. It's natural for rape victims to hate anyone who
resembles the offender, especially when they don't know any
better about our particular offenders. The media trashes
everything and everyone that the masses hate. And the average
person doesn't do their own research on anything. So most people
are basically putting themselves in a cycle where they choose to
believe that pedophiles are evil, they cut off or run from
anything that paints a good picture of pedophiles, and they
immerse themselves in negative portrayals of pedophiles.

  Harmless pedos occasionally show up in lesser known outlets to
speak out. Some doctors also post their research in online
articles. Take a look at the comments on either of those
articles, and much of it is just nonsense. In addition to the
typical pedophile-child molester confusion, there's arguing about
things that have little to do with the article, like whether
teens have a sex drive, how pedophilia is still wrong without the
sex just because we don't conform to their idea of "normal," etc.

  Searching for pedo friends in real life is out of the question.
Pedophiles don't have a secret code, tattoo, or whatever to help
them find each other. We can't start a conversation with a random
person with "Isn't that kid beautiful?" We sure as hell can't put
flyers on a bulletin board. And let's say that a pedophile does
somehow get into a "you come out, I'll come out" conversation
with a stranger, and make a new friend. That other pedo could
turn out to be a cop, and he/she'd be setting themselves up for
surveillance, then framed for taking too long to do anything
illegal. Not only that, but there's also a risk of bumping into a
pedo who wants more than to fall in love with a child.

  If a supposedly "normal" person were to come out as a
pedophile, he/she wouldn't suddenly go rabid. And yet many people
will instantly assume he/she will, and cut that person off from
everything. Their kids will be taken away. They'll lose their
job. They'll have to literally share the label of sexual predator
with the world. Once again, who cares if we never did, never
will, have sex with a child? And some people will physically
attack him and their label will prevent most people from
defending them. With that at all stake, what do we have to gain
by coming out? That said, people who think all pedophiles are
evil don't have much to base that belief on.