Road Trip                               by: Jem Aura ©

 

 

 

 

Main Character’s foreword: I am speaking to you having lived the story. I am Robbie. Or so the folks down there have named me.  I had chanced upon a girl that changed my life. We were from different worlds. I was city folk, and she was deep country. But as the sun has already set on the story I am about to tell, I am no longer city folk. I have assimilated into her world. I have also assimilated a lot of her way of speaking. So as you read my words, hear them as if I were a country gentleman.

 

Book One

 

As so often happens after falling asleep right after the last dinner of a hellish week, I woke up in the wee hours of Saturday morning. Having been too busy to have even made plans for the weekend, I decided to go fishing. I threw some stuff together for a day trip and hit the road with a fresh brewed cup of coffee.

          By about 9 am I was way out in the middle of nowhere. I had stopped at a couple of streams that crossed under the highway with not much luck. As I drove I was hoping to find one of those rural gas stations that double as a bait shop: I needed a fishing license and some local knowledge on fishing holes. My GPS told me the next town had a population of 15,000, and when I slowed through the speed zone, to my amazement, there was a Wal-Mart.  

          I love backwater Wal-Marts. The people you see there are amazingly… countrified.   And the cars in the lot explain it all: Either ancient pickup trucks, brand new dualies, or rusted Detroit iron from the 70’s.  And a few Caddy’s and Town Cars with no hubcaps.

          One such car I pulled in next to was an old black dodge with an ancient old couple sitting in it. It was already getting hot outside, and the black car shimmered in the sun. It was covered in dust like most of the other cars there, meaning they lived on a gravel road. As I looked closer, the old guy behind the wheel looked like he was in pain. His door was open and he had one foot on the asphalt, stooped over, wincing.

          I watched a few people pass by with concerned looks and decided I didn’t want to have a guilty conscience not attempting to help. In a few seconds I confirmed my fear: he was having a heart attack. The old lady was talking continuously, nonsensical gibberish, and there was a young girl lying down on the back seat. I packed the three of them in my crew cab as fast as I could and raced to the other side of town, only about a quarter mile, where I had seen a rural medical building on my way in.

          I offered my giant sized 64 oz soda to the girl sitting next to me. She took it and her and the only lady were sucking air through the straw before we were half way there. If it were my grandpa having a heart attack, I would have offered him a drink. 

          The staff at the medical facility quickly admitted the man after he had flashed his VA card, and with no waiting area, we had to sit in the truck..

          I noticed right away that the old lady was not all there. She was senile. The girl didn’t talk much, and kept stealing glances at me when she thought I wasn’t looking.  I tried to think how to get out of this mess and back on the road.

          “Hey, where do you all live?” I asked

          The girl shrugged.

          “Does your grandmother know?” I asked

          The girl shook her head, “She don’t know nothin anymore.”  And as if to prove her wrong, the old lady reached up and bopped her on the back of the head.

          “Looks to me like she does.” I said

          “She don’t know what we’s is sayin’, maybe she knows we’s talkin’ bout her.  She had a stroke and caint talk neither.”  The young girl’s talk was thick with country drawl.

          “Well, dig in her purse there and see if there’s something with your address on it. With my GPS thing here I can bring you home.”

          “Yeah, we needs to be gittin home cause Joe’s all alone by his self. He gets scairt iff’n we be gone too long.   Is papa comin too?” She asked

          “No, papa had a heart attack. I think he has to stay here for a few days at least.”

          “Again?. That’s the third one.” She said.

          “What’s your name sweetheart?” I asked

          “Tawny.” She replied, but pronounced it more like ‘towny’.

          “Tawny,” I repeated. “That’s nice. I like that. My name’s Rob.”  I lied. “Pleased to meet you Tawny.”

          Tawny nodded her agreement.

          The reason I didn’t tell her my real name was that as I was sitting there pondering my predicament, I realized that I was completely anonymous. Unless someone noted down my license plate, no one could identify me. When I took the old man inside, they didn’t even ask my name, and they had no idea I had his wife and granddaughter in my truck. I didn’t go in Wal-mart so I hadn’t bought the fishing license, and I hadn’t purchased anything with my credit card yet either. So for no particular reason, I decided to remain anonymous. Well, okay, I did have a reason, but I wasn’t likely to win the lottery that day, but if you ever want to win, you have to at least buy a ticket.

          Ever since my marital problems began (the wife admitting to having an affair, and then a few years later another one), and especially since the divorce, I have had fantasies about vulnerable young girls in situations such as this. I have my suspicions why, something to do with evolutionary psychology, but it’s such a complex life I’ve lived that there’s no one thing that stands out, other than the impact on my emotional landscape due to her infidelity. But many men go through such ill use. I would be very curious to know what really knocks around behind their stoic facades, because the stigma of the pervert in society will zip most mouths closed.  And these fantasies, if you can call them that, are as far from abusive as you can get. I would never hurt anyone. I’m not like that.   I know,  a lot of people (mostly women) believe that if a young girl consented to the advances of a man like me, and then we ended up playing some titillating sexy games together (the girl believing that it was as much her idea as mine) that the girl would be scarred for life and surely die of a drug overdose, commit suicide, or become a hooker.  But the reality of it is that a girl in the throws of puberty is an intensely sexual being. And the only damage that occurs to her as a result of playing titillating games is if some idiot finds out and makes a big stink about it, humiliating her and making her feel intensely guilty for putting the man she so adored in jail. That’s what does the damage. And yes, she adored him! She wouldn't be playing those games believing it was all her idea if she didn't. Girls that age aren’t stupid. I mean, they don’t just accept the advances of the first guy that shows interest. They invest in the person same as anyone. It’s a two way street.

          So as I wander about the cities and countryside on my frequent explorations into the landscape of America, I expound on the vulnerabilities of people. It’s the natural, instinctive behavior of the single male. Back when there were huge numbers of single males, back in our ancestral environment, single because of the natural human tendency toward polygamy, giving all of the available women to a few high ranking males and leaving the majority of men without a wife,  humans evolved strong behaviors that put single men on high alert for any vulnerable female. Some of those behaviors are violent, many are not. My fictional appendices to these real life situations mimic reality as much as possible, imagining situations that could actually occur without too much luck or creative license involved. And I don’t like my fantasies to end with me in Prison or anyone getting hurt.  So, after years of these mental exercises, having explored a myriad of scenarios,  I came to the sad realization that the chances of the planets aligning in such a way as to allow one of my fantasies to actually come true AND not get caught AND not hurt anyone - well, it’s about as likely as winning the lottery. 

          This situation was no different. I always assume it won’t work out - that some risk factor will enter in and ruin it like it always had. But I don’t ever sabotage it myself. I let things unfold, following the path toward a hopeful conclusion, ready to abort at a moments notice, keeping things ambiguous until both of our toes are over the line, and the big joyful leap into full blown blissful surrender ends the ambiguity.  Keeping anonymous is simply one small way to reduce the risk of getting caught if something should go wrong – and there are always a million things that can go wrong. I never have been able to believe that a secret can be kept. Too many experiences of betrayal to trust in a secret. Anonymity is a weak insurance policy against a secret being told to the wrong person, but it’s better than nothing.

          I started the truck and pulled away with my two passengers. I had parked out of sight of the front windows of the medical building and was careful not to pull in front of them as I exited.  Tawny was rummaging through her grandmother’s purse and finally handed me an old electric bill.

          Chewing on the address, the GPS guided us along creek beds, corn fields, pig farms, all the while kicking up gravel and a cloud of dust.   When the road ended I was staring at an old, crooked, weather beaten cabin with gaping holes in the roof. Attached to it was a rather large and not so old mobile home.

          Out of the trailer came a goofy looking young man in overalls and a straw hat. I was just about to tear up my lottery ticket when I noticed how he was walking: a little bit sideways, loping, with a skip every now and then. When his face came into view from under his hat my hopes were again renewed. He was obviously retarded.  So I stuck my lottery ticket on the refrigerator in my mind with a magnet shaped like a slice of watermelon.

          Tawny opened her door and I gently grabbed her arm. “Wait a second, who lives here with you?” I asked. “I can’t just drop you off without making sure you’ll be all right.”

          She studied me a second then said, “Jus me, Gramma, Papa, and Joe.” She indicated the big guy coming up to her door.

          “Where’s your mom and dad?” I asked, letting her go.

          “Don’t got no pa, an my ma’s in prison - for a long time.”  She said sadly.

          I banged my head on the steering wheel, trying to figure this puzzle out.   I was trapped for the moment, because I could not leave a young girl here alone with a senile old woman and a mentally retarded...  giant.  But at least that takes the decision away from me. I got out and steadied the old lady as we followed Tawny and Joe into the trailer.

          The window AC sounded like it was about to throw a bearing, but the trailer was cool inside. I glanced out the window into the old cabin. There were chickens scratching around a huge pile of trash, mostly beer cans and milk jugs, apparently thrown from the very window I was looking through.

          I sat down at the kitchen table. It was piled high with old newspapers, magazines, and an ashtray full of cigar butts. Joe was eyeing me from across the room, and every time I met his eyes, he would tug at his shirt.

          Other than the smell of stale cigar smoke, the trailer smelled clean and was surprisingly well ordered in contrast to the outward appearance when I first drove up. Tawny sat sideways in the chair across from me and was examining her elbow, her shoulder blade contorting as if disjointed as she strained to see whatever it was that was bothering her. 

          Joe stood in the doorway to the sitting room and stared off at a point in space somewhere between Tawny and I.  I became curious what he was thinking about because it seemed obvious he was dreaming about something. Suddenly he snapped out of his trance and fixed me with a stern look. Again he pinched at the fabric of his tank top t-shirt and tugged on it.

          “Why does he keep doing that?” I asked.

          Tawny turned to look, “Doing what?   What are you doing Joe?”

          Again he tugged at his shirt and Tawny immediately turned to me and said, “Oh, he always does that. He wants you to take your shirt off. He’s retarded.”

          Joe smiled a little wider and glared at me. “Take shirt off.” He said in a deep, thick tongued voice.

          The old lady, who had retreated to the back as soon as we came in, was coming back down the hall toward the kitchen. Coming up behind Joe she thumped him in the back of the head with her fingers, squeezed past him, put a teapot on the stove, turned a burner on, turned around, bopped Tawny on the head, who ignored her, took a step toward me, stopped, raised her hand...  I raised my fist and pointed it at her, she thought better of it, and left.

          Tawny laughed a loud belly laugh at me, apparently confident I would never have struck the old lady. She got up, took the teapot off the stove, filled it with water, placed it on a different burner, and sat back down.  This girl was no dummy.

          “Why would he want me to take my shirt off?” I asked.

          “Jus don’t pay no mind. He does it to everyone.”

          “Yeah, but why?” I insisted. “Don’t you know why?”

          “Shore I do, cause he’s retarded, like I told you.” She said.

          Apparently Joe knew we were talking about him because he persisted, “Shirt off.” he said thickly, and then, “Medicine”. And moved close to where I was sitting.

          Tawny was now picking at a toe, uninterested.

          “Medicine?” I asked, to no-one in particular.

          Tawny, now getting frustrated that we were not going to let it drop, got up and shoved Joe with all of her weight. Joe was knocked back a fraction of a step. Pushing again he stepped back voluntarily, “Leave him alone Joe, or I'll…” She sat back down and continued picking her toes. 

          “Oh, it’s all right. I don’t mind.” I said.     She fixed me with a look that said ‘you don’t know what your talking about.’

          Tawny must have been about 11 or 12 years old. I had been admiring her, trying to understand her growing attractiveness. Upon close examination, one might lean towards the notion that she is a child’s child, replete with dirty bitten fingernails, unkempt frizzled hair, a taught wiry body, and a temperament of quiet contemplation highlighted with explosive bursts of movement and voice often leaning towards violence. However, adapting a wider perspective through which to view her, I became aware of certain qualities that suggest an elegance, a sensuality, and a deeper maturity than one could credit to a child. These qualities become apparent when her passionate mind calms down and her body settles to resting state, striking a pose certainly choreographed by someone, perhaps the Creator Himself, in order to highlight the soft curves of her otherwise thin limbs, the evening light enhancing the affect: a pose that by habit or choice, almost always stretched out, reclined, exposing how the separate elements of her form were carefully sculpted, blended in with the rest to form a most desirable package. Her face, careworn while at rest, with a slightly furrowed brow concentrating absently on whatever her hands had chosen to pick on at any given time, would change most remarkably at the realization of being watched, the smile and sideways pull of her eyes as they slowly went back to what they were doing, suggested a flirtatiousness bordering on the erotic.

          She wore a tank top that was way too big for her, and as she was leaning over picking at her toe, I was soaking in the sight of her small breast clearly visible as the shirt sagged forward. Most pubescent girls’ breasts have tiny, pointed, pale nipples. Tawny’s were a deeper color than usual and much larger. They were puffed all around the areoles, and at least half of her total breast size was nipple, even though the entire breast was little more than a plum. I imagined they must be incredibly sensitive to touch.  She also had reddish blond hair and blue eyes. She was slight in build and probably only weighed 80 pounds or so .

          Her attitude, basically uninterested in me, was diminishing my hopes of winning my secret lottery.   I stood up.  “Maybe I should get going.  You look like you’ll be all right until your grandpa gets home. You got a phone? So you can get help if you need it?”

          Tawny, blocking the way to the door said, “No, don’t go!"  Turning to Joe she yelled, "You see, Joe? You scared him away!" Turning back to me she said "Caint you stay for a little while longer? I promise Joe won’t bother you no more. Will you Joe?”

          “Medicine” Joe answered.

          “Now jus hush that up.” She side-stepped me and slapped Joe’s arm, then sprang back to defend the door.

          “Really, I don’t mind. Can't you tell me what he means? I’m just curious. Does he take pills because he’s retarded?” I asked.

          “No, nothing like that. He’s got medicine inside. The doctor puts it there. He jus wants to show you. He loves showing off his medicine.” 

          “Inside where?” I asked.

          “Inside a his body. It comes outta his pecker.”  She said, not even blinking.

          “Oh, okay, I see.” Although I wasn’t sure I did. "Who told you it was medicine?"

          "Papa. He don’t like him showing people cause you caint put it back an it’s ‘spensive.”

          It took a lot of willpower not to give any sign of how all this new information was affecting me.  My mind was suddenly spinning with questions, what to say?, what to do?  Was she toying with me? After all, she’s no dummy. Or is she really that ignorant?

          We slowly sat back down.  “Why does he want me to take my shirt off?”

          “That’s jus what’cha have to do. He can’t get the medicine if'n ya don’t.”

          “Do you think it’s really medicine? I never heard of a doctor putting…”  I trailed off.

          Tawny slowly nodded emphatically. “I think it's so's to make him sleepy. He always takes a nap after, if I let him.” She said.

          “You’ve seen his medicine?” I asked, hopefully.

          “Sure, lots'a times. You wanna see?”, her mood shifted and she was suddenly excited.

          “No, no, that’s okay, maybe later.” I said, panicking .

          Joe moved to the sitting room and turned on the small TV to a snowy cartoon. “medicine” he mumbled, as the teapot began to whistle.

          In tottered Gamma. She slapped Joe on the side of the head as she passed. Joe, shocked, looked as if it actually hurt him.  Tawny got up quickly and grabbed the teapot before she could totter up. Not finding the teapot on the stove, Gamma turned and stared at the TV with Joe.

          “Does she know what’s happened to your papa?” I asked Tawny.

          “No.  She don’t even know my name no more. Only names she members is Vern an Joe. She calls everybody Vern or Joe.”  She said, fussing with the teacups and teabags.

          “What about papa, is he senile too?”

          “God no, he ‘members everything. But he’s lazy, no count, no more’ n jus bosses me an Joe all the time, but Joe does most of the work cause he’s a good mindin’ boy if’n ya treats him good. Papa don’t treats him right an Joe'll jus sit an watch toonies all day, less’n I talk at him, then he gets a movin real good.”   She leaned over to whisper in my ear, “The secret is the medicine. If’n you jus tell him you wanna see his medicine after all the chores is done, then he goes crazy a workin’ at whatever ya say, all day long. But if’n you don’t makes him wait, then he does it an falls asleep. Then ya gotta start all over…   That minds me a sumpin:  Joe!, you done them chores I told you bout this mornin?”

          Joe’s eyes rolled up, checking his list of things to do in his head, came up empty, and gave her a blank stare.

          “Chickens? Eggs? Fold them clothes on the line? Wash yersef up?,  any a those?”

          Joe shook his head.

          “Well, come on then, get to it, aint a gonna be much time fore it bees dark out there.” She said, then added, “An after you all done you can show Rob an me some medicine.”

          Joe’s face brightened immediately and he rushed outside, rushed back in, grabbed a laundry basket, and rushed back out.

          "Ya see?" Tawny beamed.

          "How old is Joe?" I asked.

          "I think he's about 21. My momma an Joe is brother’n sister, an he's younger‘n my momma. She's 25."

          "25? how old are you?"

          "11, but I'm almost 12"

          "She had you when she was 14 years old?  Wow,"  I said in an voice much more amazed than I actually was.

          "Yep." she nodded. “I woulda had a big brother but he’s still bornt when my momma was twelve.  You want some tea?"

          "Yes, please. That would be nice."

          "You shore are a polite sort. We don't go in for polite talkin’ much round here. Mostly caus'a mean ole Vernard Buskins." She yelled toward the back of the trailer, and from back there the reply came, "Vernard?"   Tawny turned back to me, "But I like's it when you talk nice. Makes me feel like a princess or sumpin." She set the tea cup on the table, placed the teabag in, and poured the boiling water with great delicacy and skill. "That minds me. I better get mysef cleaned up afore Joe come's in. He's a hog for hot water."  And with that, Tawny disappeared into the back, leaving me to ponder my lottery odds. They kept changing on me.

          I changed seats so that I was facing down the hall, in hopes of catching a glimpse of Tawny in some state of undress. She emerged from one of the rooms in a tattered knee length robe, holding it closed in front with one hand and carrying her dirty clothes in the other. Tossing them on the washer, she let go of her robe and dug among the clean clothes on the shelf and selected a few items. As she turned and stepped into the bathroom, her robe flowed open gracefully, exposing one long thin leg and a bare hip. Just before her head disappeared, she glanced toward the kitchen, connecting with my eyes for an instant. I could have sworn there was some kind of communication in that look, or maybe intent, the hint of a wry smile accompanied with the open robe. But now she was gone. A moment later I heard the shower come on.

          There could be no doubt: I was very attracted to this girl. A strange type of mischievous attraction that had a lot to do with her vulnerability and my current anonymity. I couldn't explain it, but I felt it. The feeling was strange but very exciting. It reminded me closely of when I was a kid about Tawny's age, camping with my friends in the back yard, and we would go to girls houses and help them sneak out. Then we would sit on the 9th green of the golf course and play strip poker or truth or dare, or whatever - running around naked and free. Being here made me feel young again.

          Joe came in with the laundry basket full of neatly folded clothes. "Shirt off, medicine." he said as if he had been mumbling it over and over during his chores.  After he put the clothes on the shelf, he impatiently hung at the bathroom door.

          Tawny emerged in a clean tank top and panties, shoved Joe out of her way, and put her robe back in her room before returning to the kitchen.

          As if in slow motion, and in a surreal dream, I saw Tawny walking towards me down the hall, the sweet lines of her body silhouetted from behind by the setting sun beaming in somewhere behind her, the skin tight tank and panties gave perfect outlines to her form, and what appeared to be a shimmering aura that shone from the edges of her silhouette, I found was nothing more than the reflected sunlight playing off the soft blonde fuzz that covered her body. Is she completely immodest? Or had she calculated what the two ounces of clothing and dusk lighting would do to me?

          "Joe, you wash up real good. Mr. Bob and me don't want no stinky sweaty boy showin his medicine." She yelled at the door as she passed, in a somewhat loving, maybe motherly way.

          "Shirt off, medicine".  I heard from the bathroom.

          Tawny added, "You done real good folding the laundry Joe, it looks real nice."   Then sitting down across from me,  "You see? He's a good boy. Works real hard. And he ain't like most of them retards that caint do nothing right. He's real good at things long as you get him started off doing them. Elsin he just sit there watchin toonies. I figured him out though. Just be nice and let him show his medicine. Iffin you don't, he gets real stubborn like an ole sore footed mule." She paused, reflecting...  "If I dint have Joe, this place'd make me crazy. I'd a done kilt myself a long time ago." She said seriously, absently staring out the window.

          "Now, you're just saying that. You're a great kid Tawny, I think you are a lot stronger than that. Killing yourself is a cowards way out of trouble, and I know for sure you aren't a coward."

          Tawny's eyes sparkled and brightened with the compliments. I was dead honest in giving them, and she could tell. This recognition of her strength of spirit is something she had been sorely missing, and now she could see her lottery odds getting a whole lot better, as could I.  But upon reflection of the compliments, a scowl crossed her face and she exclaimed: "Hey, I ain't no kid no more." She said defiantly. Then to prove it, she stuck her chest out and pulled down on her tank top so that it stretched across her chest, highlighting the breasts she was growing in her garden. "See?".

          “Oh yes, I see all right, You are definitely becoming a woman. I didn't mean to imply that you are childish. You are certainly very mature. But you are still very young. So how about we say you are a beautiful young lady, rather than a kid. Is that better?" I offered.

          "Young lady?   Yea, I like that."  She craned her neck around,  "Did you hear that Joe?" Tawny shouted in his direction, "I'm a young lady!"    and the shower came on a few seconds later.

          I reached across the table and took Tawny's hand in mine.  I was still under the spell of her dreamy walk down the hallway. "Tawny, sweetheart, I'm afraid you are stomping all over my already broken heart." She looked at me doubtfully. "I'm lonely. And I wish I had a nice girl like you to keep me happy. Because you would make me happy. Sitting here with you now I realize I’ve not been made to feel this good in a very, very long time. It's like I've known you all my life already. And I'm sad thinking that I'm going to have to leave you here. I live far away and have a job and everything. I’d never forgive myself knowing I left you here with mean ole Vern and no friends but Joe."  I choked back the emotions that welled up as I spoke. I knew I was playing at the game of trying to get what I wanted so very badly, but the tears that pooled in my eyes were as real as the desires that led me there. I wondered deeply how I could be so affected in the few short hours I had known her.

          Seeing this, Tawny said: "Oh now Mr. Rob, you ain't gotta go worrying about all that jus yet. It ain't even happened. We're gonna have a nice supper and you can stay as long as you want, long as Vern ain't here, cause I'm boss when he ain't here."

          I smiled affectionately toward her, then leaned over and kissed her forehead cupping her cheek in my hand. "Okay, you're right. But If I can't call you a kid, you can't call me Mr. Bob.  Right now I feel a whole lot younger than I am, so don't go making me feel old. Okay?"  I asked, still a little choked up, and my eyes burning.

          Tawny’s face lengthened as she focused on something rising up inside her – she sat stunned. Those last words, even though they entered her mind, lay there unattended. I was not aware of anything I could have done, but apparently the combination of my earlier heart felt words about her strength of spirit, and now having taken her hand in mine, my soft adoring words, the cupping of her cheek, the kiss on her forehead, and especially the tears I was shedding in her honor, added up to the sum total of genuine affection she had received since she was little more than a toddler. Her instinctive ability to read body language told her that this was the real thing. To her, these simple gestures of kindness were intensely meaningful. It was something she craved, and as if I had pricked the edge of a water balloon, all of her pent up sadness and loneliness due to neglect gushed forth. Against her iron clad will, tears were quickly dripping from her chin, and another heartbeat had her sobbing and coughing, her eyes glaring at me in disbelief. She didn't know what had possessed her all of a sudden, and it scared her. She was not used to losing control of herself.

          Having been all but abandoned by her mother, and feeling unloved and on the edge of her sanity at most times with these remnants of her family, something primal within her, an ancient survival program designed to make her appealing to a good strong man, instilling a desperate need to please him, to be utterly subservient to him in order to receive protection and caring from him, anything to rescue her from her plight, had seized hold of her. Certain of her gestures and emotional expressions were now beyond her control or understanding. And my own ancient programs, the ones that compliment her own, to take advantage of the affections and services of a young and capable girl that needs protecting, rose up to meet her and her tears like venom from a viper reached out to me and penetrated my soul, locking us together emotionally.

          I was tempted to get up and go over to her, taking her in my arms to console her. But I thought better of it. I sat and held her hand, softly caressing the back of it with my thumb while she mopped herself with paper towels. It took quite a while for the convulsions to subside. Twice it seemed the episode had passed only to find it flooding back with more force than before. I think the caressing of her hand was perpetuating the moment. I can only imagine what holding her in my arms would have conjured.

          At length, we sat staring at each other, wondering if it was over. I had collected a puddle of tears of my own on the table under my chin.

          As if my hand was guided by some outside influence, perhaps that clever instinct, or maybe my fatherly instinct having done the same thing to my boys at times, and having no way to know the catalytic affect it was going to have, my hand reached out and pinched a column of snot that hung from her nose. I drew my hand back while reaching for the roll of paper towels. Unknown to me, the small amount of snot I had grabbed was attached to a whole lot more up inside her sinuses.  When I looked back, a rope of snot was stretched across the space between us and when she sneezed suddenly from the tickling it caused being drawn forth in such a way, it released from her nose and impaled me across the chest.

          Needless to say this caused an equally loud and lengthy episode of convulsions from both of us, laughing harder than I had ever laughed in my life. Three and four times the roar had diminished only to renew again in full fury, until our sides ached. The final peak of laughter was highlighted with the sudden appearance of granny slapping me in the head and quickly retreating.   A few minutes after that we fell silent, our ears red and our throats raw.

          Once she was certain she had regained control of herself she said, "How about Robbie?"

          "Robbie?" I asked.

          "How bout I call you Robbie so's you don't feel old." She said, reminding me.

          "Oh, yeah, Robbie. I like that."  I said honestly. She was pushing every button I had in the feel good department.  We sat and talked a while about Vern trying to home school both her and Joe. We talked about my life some: my job and my apartment. She was very surprised to learn I had two boys older than she was.

          About that time Joe came bustling out of the bathroom, naked, searching for clean clothes. A prominent blue scar was on his back. Tawny looked over her shoulder at him until he disappeared, and then turned back to me with a noticeable blush on her cheeks.

          "You remember you said you liked being talked to politely? That it makes you feel important, like a princess?" I asked. Tawny nodded, "Well, you are a princess. I think you're very pretty and smart, and you take care of people. Very admirable qualities for a person in such hard circumstances."

          "What a you mean hard circumstance?" She asked

          "Well, I mean you live out here with no friends, you don't go to school with other boys and girls, you got a mean ole grandpa, a senile old grandmother, and a retarded...  Um, uncle?"

          "Shucks, I don mind. Joe an me is good company to each other. An we got’s a few friends we go see off'n through the woods a piece.  Course ole Vern don know that. He'd be mighty fiery mad he knew we gone off." She said.

          "What kind of friends are they?" I asked.

          Tawny looked at me a little queer.  "What do you mean what kind o friends? The friendly kind o'course."

          "No, I mean are they boys and girls your own age? Do they live nearby? Do they ever come see you?"

          "They know better'n come pokin round here. They's mostly a pack o girls goes to the big school. They's not real nice to...  well, come to think of it, they ain't acted very friendly. They's nice an all till they see Joe's medicine, then they turn mean and don't want to play no more."   She said, her spirits sagging.  "but I figured em out, kinda like I did Joe. You gotta make em wait. Caus'n Joe ain't gonna do nothin less'n I says he can. So I make em treat me nice and we play some fun games afore I let em have what they came for. Now they's havin almost as much fun with me as they do watchin Joe."

          “Who takes off their shirt for him, you or your friends?“ I asked.

          “They do o’course. They’s the ones getting the show. I makes em all show their boobies to Joe. He likes it alot an always begging to go see the ‘wood girls’  Those girls are alot like Joe. They do anything I says jus to get to see him.  He is a pretty thang for a retard.”

          My wonder at this girl was growing. I was indulging at length in the vision of this group of girls in my head and I was getting envious of Joe.  

          Tawny was studying me,  “What you thinking? You’re studyin hard on somethin.“ She said.

          “Oh nothin.  I was just thinkin I don’t blame Joe a bit for likin to see those girls. I would sure like to see em too. But I ain’t retarded an I think they’d be afraid of me. Ya know?

          “I ain’t  fraid a you.  An I speck you like lookin at girls, like Joe. That’s as it should be, huh?.“

          "You are something."  I said, laughing.

          Tawny smiled a warm smile, looking me directly in the eyes. She was a strong and determined spirit. She seemed to have a deep and mature knowlege of people, and yet at the same time she seemed naive and innocent. And as these thoughts were running through my mind, holding her gaze, it seemed she sensed me, and something of my intentions toward her, because her look changed to slightly suspicious, but then softened quickly, covering herself. In that instant it seemed her guard went down. I felt something of her strong desire, her need for intellectual companionship and emotional connections, and love.  It seemed to me that she was playing in her own personal lottery - hoping beyond hope that a particular someone would fall from the sky and fill all of her hearts desires. If so, we were on each other's radar screens. She had learned from Joe and the girls on the other side of the woods that people manipulate each other to get what they need, and that being treated nice usually means you have something they want. So Tawny wasn’t fooled by me.

 

          In came Joe, as white as Mr. Clean on a sunny day. White overalls and a white tank top. Looking at him, I realized that Tawny must have been wearing one of his tanks that fit her so loosely. Of course now they each were wearing ones that fit tight, highlighting their best attributes: Tawny’s perfect plum breasts, and Joe’s impressive array of toned and sculptured muscles.  Immediately he started tugging at his shirt, "Shirt off, medicine" he said, looking at Tawny.

          "Get Robbie to ya big oaf, you gonna make me show my boobies to our guest?"
 She said, slightly embarrassed.

          Joe turned to me, and before he could restate his request, I shook my head no and pointed at Tawny. He immediately turned back to her and re-stated his due with a stamp of his foot. Her modest shirt was ideal for the hot weather, but I couldn't keep myself from glancing at her chest, the darkened shade of her broad nipples clearly visible in the stretched, sheer fabric.

          "Did you brush your teeth? I didn't hear you brushin your teeth." She said sternly.

          Joe displayed his teeth for her.

          "Come here an let me smell your breath." she said.

          Now, with a disappointed rather than a demanding stomp, he wheeled around and went to brush his teeth.

          Tawny pulled her legs up in front of her and chuckled quietly to herself as Joe stomped off.  She scrunched herself up excitedly, bright eyes darting around, apparently enjoying herself immensely.

          "What's so funny?" I asked.

          "Oh nuthin, I just like teasin him. He gets so excited when its almost time. Its just fun." Then she leaned over the table to whisper so Joe couldn't hear, "You ain't really gonna make me do it are ya? 

          "Oh yes I am, " I said, smiling wide at her, "I wouldn't miss it."

          "But you're a boy, caint ya just do it so's I don haf to?" She pleaded, still blushing.

          I shook my head. "It's only proper that a boy looks at a girl, uhm, as it should be, were your words. I would feel very strange with Joe looking at me.   Besides, I really do want to see you. you are very pretty."  I said as Joe emerged and quickly came up beside Tawny, showing his gleaming teeth.

          With a deep sigh of defeat, Tawny glanced at me - I smiled at her - she blushed deeper, and slipped the straps of her tank top off of her shoulders, pulling it down around her waist.  It was a very beautiful thing to see. And as if she was in the practice of pleasing a man with her body, she leaned back and displayed them proudly. Both Joe and I were transfixed on her chest.

          After a few moments of gawking, Tawny touched my arm, snapping me out of my trance and pointed toward Joe's crotch. A huge bulge had formed. Tawny became impatient, "Well? C'mon!  We aint got all day ya big dork.”

          She leaned back again and I watched her closely as she watched Joe unhook the bib of his overalls, unbutton the hips, and pull his briefs down.  If she knew what I saw in her reaction to this she would have been very embarrassed. It was very obvious that Tawny was getting at least as much pleasure from this as Joe was: her dumb look, lips pouted out, and unblinking stare, no movement at all, until she glanced at me. Realizing that I was evaluating her, she smiled knowingly and went right back to gawking. I was wrong. She was not embarrassed.

          Joe had an incredibly handsome erection. If any male erotic magazine had known, they would have paid a lot for the privilege. About eight inches and perfectly straight, pointing skyward. He turned to the sink and started fussing around. I looked at Tawny confused.
          "He's gonna wash it. That makes the medicine come out." She said

          "Oh, I see... "  and then  "You are so beautiful"

          Tawny smiled and gave me a tilted flirtatious look. I don't think she could have learned how to give that look in her environment, It must be an instinctive signal that girl's just know how to do. In any case, getting that familiar look, combined with her toplessness, it was almost impossible not to take her right then and there. 

          When Joe turned back, he was stroking himself with a soapy washcloth. Periodically he would remove it and stroke the head with his other hand.   It was amazing to watch him, but I was more amazed watching Tawny, staring at him, so much written across her face, so much in the deep blush that ran right down her neck and chest, and her nipples that had swelled noticeably and reddened in color. She sat perfectly still except for a few reassuring glances at me watching her.

          Joe was working hard, and it didn't take long before he ejaculated, catching it all in the washcloth and proudly displaying it for Tawny and I. "Medicine."  He said

          "Medicine" I confirmed, both of them smiling at me, proud of their accomplishment, proving themselves against my doubtfulness.

          Tawny felt a twinge of something unpleasant. My attention had been drawn away from her and towards Joe, and now it was likely that her opportunity for more was gone as well now that the medicine show was over.  Again her instinctive desire to gain my approval, draw my attention towards her, welled up:  She stuck her chest out at me and said, "See?  Still think I'm a kid?"

          If she only knew what that behavior was doing to me. Maybe she did know. Maybe subconsciously, like how she knew the classic 'fuck me' look.   I smiled affectionately towards her and said. "All I know, young lady, is that I love looking at you, and you are like the most beautiful princess I could ever imagine."

          This got some sweet sparkles from her eyes and a shy shrug. The awkward lull in conversation as those words hung had frozen us. The awkwardness of her being topless and being frozen, unable to move, added to the embarrassment.  We just sat there staring at each other feeling out of place until Joe provided a moderate distraction: He buttoned himself back up and went to the TV. Tawny pulled her tank top back up and poked her arms through the loops.

          "Tawny, do you really think that's medicine?" I asked, trying to leave the embarrassment behind.

          "Why Shore, it ain't pee an there ain't no way nobody but a doctor with a big needle could get it in there." She said confidently.

          "I'm pretty sure I know what it is. I can explain it to you if you want."

          Tawny leaned forward.

          "It's seeds that make babies." I said, Tawny sat motionless, showing no signs at all. Just staring at me blankly.

          "It's called sperm.  You ever hear of that?" I asked

          She shook her head

          "No?  Uhm, you know..., well, take my word for it, it's not medicine. Every man has sperm, not just Joe."  I said firmly.

          Tawny wasn't phased, "Nuh-uh."  She said, her elbows on the table and her head in her hands.

          “Yes they do. Hasn’t any of your friends in the woods told you how babies are made?” I asked, a little frustrated at her lack of knowledge.

          She shook her head. “Why would Vern say that then. It’s medicine I tell you, and you can’t prove it otherwise.”

          “Oh yes I can,  I can prove it to you. You want to see? I'll show you my sperm."  I said, recalculating my lottery odds to about one in ten. That's pretty good considering I started the day with one in ten million.

          Tawny lifted her head from her hands and considered for a second before she said, "You mean it? Really? You gonna show me your medicine too?   You hear that Joe? Robbie's a gonna show us his medicine!"  she said, overjoyed.  Joe was asleep. Turning back to me she waited expectantly.

          “It ain’t medicine I tell you. You think the doctor got at me too?”   In that instant, with her triumphant words still ringing in my ears, her eyes glinting  devilishly, I realized I had been had by this manipulative little…..    genius. I sat and studied her for a moment, realizing we had just seen each other’s cards for an instant.

          I screened my words much more carefully now: "Sure, I'll show you, but I need your help just like Joe.”  I said

          "Okay." she said simply, starting to pull her arms back out of her tank top.

          “Well, not exactly like Joe,” I said.  Tawny stopped with her elbow up like a chicken wing. 

          “What?”  She asked.

          "Oh, nothing much. Just show me what a pretty young lady you are, what a beautiful princess looks like when she takes all of her clothes off."  I waited for her reaction.

          She sat looking at me with a poker face, slowly lowering her arm and sliding her shoulder strap back in place. I noticed a new flush of red on her cheeks, obviously embarrassed at what she was imagining. But to my surprise and delight, she screwed up her courage and said bravely,  "Is that all? You just wanna see me necked?" And as if to prove her courage, and probably to commit us both to our promises before we could have second thoughts, she jumped up, stood in front of me, lifted her shirt off and stepped out of her panties.

          I gazed at her full frontal nudity - her soft smooth skin and her taught mound folded neatly into a small slit. Blonde peach fuzz created an aura over her whole body, with the bright sunlight still beaming in from the back of the trailer somewhere. Reaching out my hand, she took it and I pulled her closer to me. Standing between my knees, I began to run my hands gently over the curves of her young body.

          Tawny tensed at my touch and stepped back, out of my reach.

          "What's wrong sweatheart?" I asked.

          "Nothin, I guess," tentatively taking a half step forward, digging for more courage. "I just, I mean I likes it, but Joe don't never like touchin, so I thought..."

          I reached for her again and she stepped up more eagerly.  As I very gently and reasuringly caressed her, I said "Joe's retarded. I'll teach you about things the way they really are. And I won't do anything to hurt you.  Okay?"  I said, pulling her in and hugging her tight.

          When she stepped back from the hug, I was very happy to see her smiling warmly and urging me on with every inch of body language she could find.    I turned her away from me and stood behind her, caressing her shoulders, arms, hips, thighs, and then her breasts. Cupping them with both hands, I kissed her shoulder and neck.  Hearing a sound, we both turned to see her grandmother tottering towards us down the hall.  I froze and Tawny made no sign at all.

          Slapping Joe's head as he slept in the recliner, she walked on toward us, "Vern, It's suppertime, Vern." she said and tottered right past us to the refrigerator. Tawny looked up at me and smiled, unconcerned. With my erection raging against my jeans, Tawny sweetly removed my hands from her breasts and went to help her grandma.

          Sitting back down I watched her nymph like form move about heating some soup, and guiding her grandmother back to her room, reassuring her that supper was coming, and getting a slap on the head for it.

          As soon as she returned, she sidled up close and placed my hands back on her breasts.

          "Do you like to kiss?" I asked, staring disbelievingly at my own hands as they massaged the objects of thousands of my fantasies.

          She shrugged down at me. "I don't know." she said honestly.

          Sitting her on my knee I reclined back with her in the crook of my arm. I kissed her while fondling her breasts with my free hand, but she held her lips closed tightly.

          Grudgingly I removed the hand from that heavenly realm and took hold of her jaw, "Relax, open your mouth a little and relax" I said.

          She did and I guided her mouth against mine, running my tongue across her teeth and tongue.   Unexpectedly, she began humming or moaning softly, making me wonder again if she could have learned this somehow.  We kissed deeper and deeper as I pondered these mysteries, and I twiddled her nipples noting the changes in her moans as I did.

          The soup started to boil.  Reluctantly, Tawny released herself from me again and fixed a tray with a bowl of soup, some bread, and a glass of milk.  I watched with stunned detachment as she carefully carried the tray down the hall, back straight as a pin and her head as if balancing a book on it - naked. 

          "Naked" I said out loud to myself.  "I am here with an 11 year old girl who is walking around naked."  I affirmed with total astonishment. "And she adores me."  I added, and decided it might be bad luck to try to figure the lottery odds when things were this good. Or maybe the lottery was already won and I just didn’t realize it yet.

          The door in the back slammed shut and Tawny quickly ran back to the kitchen, excitedly forcing herself back into my lap, searching for the exact position she had been in, in hopes of feeling the exact feeling she had felt. She knew she was on to something big and important and intensely satisfying.

          I resumed her education in erotic pleasure seeking, kissing her delicately, caressing her nipples endlessly, and becoming frustrated at the urgent pain and pressure in, on and around my manhood. I had to do something, I had no choice. After a significant pause in conversation in which Tawny had slipped ever deeper into a state of surrender, and with our lips touching I asked:   "Do you still want to see the medicine... Err, I mean sperm? "

          "Uh huh" she uttered dreamily, and nodded slowly, brushing her lips across mine.

          "I really need to show you, even worse than Joe." 

          "Mmm Hmm" she said still swooning as I gathered her up and carried her to a small couch opposite Joe's chair.

          I manipulated her and the cushions gently so that she was slouched way down, her neck bent, head against the back of the couch.   Standing over her, she watched as I removed my clothes, my erection springing out in front of her dancing eyes, and my eyes probing her entire body. She was incredibly beautiful and willing. 

          Kneeling, I separated her knees and came up between them. I ran my hands all over her body, watching her muscles twitch as I rubbed my thumb lightly around her clitoris - and leaning over her to suck, for the first time, on her plum nipples. This was almost too much for her, they were incredibly sensitive: She gripped my hair and pushed me away. But without letting go, she yanked me back to her and popped her plum back into my mouth.  I thought maybe it was an orgasm, but at the time I wasn't touching her crotch at all.

          When she released me, I took her hands and wrapped them around my penis. Reaching under her hands that were now gently stroking me, I rolled my thumb around her clitoris vigorously, feeling a considerable amount of wetness, challenging me to explore the feeling of pressing my shaft inside her. I knew my penis wasn't as big as Joe's, but it was just as pretty, and I suspected that a fairly thick 6 1/2 inches would fill that wonderful space perfectly. 

          She began to buck against my thumb, and amid squeeks and hissing breath through her teeth, she shuddered in the grips of a powerful orgasm, while looking me square in the eyes, her hands clamped tightly to my penis.

          She slumped back into a puddle - a relaxed mass. She let her hands slip from my erection, leaving herself exposed to me.  I could not resist the offering. 

          Gently urging her to raise her hips, I rubbed the head around her vagina, smearing the wetness up and down the length of her slit, from clitoris to anus. Pressing at her opening, my head slipped easily inside of her. I had not planned to, I had intended to just masturbate for her, but instead, I found myself answering the urge to press deeper - to thrust in and out in ever increasing penetrating pushes. I expected her to start wincing in pain, but she did not wince in pain. To my astonishment, I was already sliding deeply inside her, the feelings of her very tight and slick tunnel sending shivers throughout my body, and the sight of my erection disappearing completely behind her soft, smooth mound of flesh, nearly drove me to madness.

          Gathering momentum quickly, I was thrusting vigorously and deeply. She was swimming in the pure instinct of animal mating, without the polluted knowledge of archaic religions and modern society. She was rewarded with all of the wonderful emotions, sensations, and self-manufactured neural stimulants that are a part of our biology and accompany this event. For her, there was no guilt, no consequences: She was just doing what she 'felt' like doing. And she was in heaven.

          Holding myself deep inside her, I pulled her from the couch and I laid on top of her on the floor. Now, our bodies were pressed together for the first time, in full intimate contact, my erection filling her up, we were one. We slowed the pace down, revelling in the feeling of slow withdrawels and deep plunges, her body constantly churning out a wonderful quantity of sweet lubrication. We rolled over, exploring new positions, keeping our bodies close.

          Back where we had started on the floor, Tawny was completely enveloped under me, I pounded hard in a furious climb to orgasm. Tawny quickly shivered to climax, her muscles tensing and toes curled up tight. At the last possible moment I pulled out and squirted my sperm all over her chest and stomach.

          Spent, we lay on our backs side by side on the floor, Joe murmuring in his sleep.

          "That was amazing"  Tawny said.

          "That, my dear young lady, is what life is all about"

          "Am I gonna have a baby?"  She asked

          "No sweetheart. I don't think you are quite old enough yet. Besides, I didn't put any sperm inside you."

          "Yea, I can see that. It's all over me. Why did you do that?"
          "I don't want you having a baby, and it would make a mess on the floor. Besides, it's fun to squirt it on you afterward.  I don't know why. Maybe it means I've marked you as my girl."

          Tawny thought about that and decided she liked the idea.
          "Tawny, have you ever done anything like that before? I mean, ever have something up inside you like that before?" I asked cautiously.

          She lay there silent for a while, then said, "I caint move with this mess on me."

          I got up, rinsed out the washcloth with warm water, and gently cleaned her up.

          "The reason I'm askin is that girls when they do it the first time always bleed a little and it hurts some. but you didn't. Do you know why?"

          She again went quiet for a long time, lying there naked, still flushed with her own chemical cocktails running through her body.  She turned and fixed me with a fearful gaze.

          "What is it, honey?"  I asked.  "You can tell me anything, you don't have to be afraid."

          "I almost caint remember.  Seems like a long time ago. I knowed what happened though, but I don’t never talk about it."

          "Well, it might help if you did. but you don't have to if you don't want to."

          "It was Joe." She said simply.

          "Joe?" I said surprised. I was expecting Vern or some man in the woods.

          "Yep. It was my fault, I was teasin him about his medicine an he got powerful mad to me. He jus tore my clothes off and started a humpin on me. It hurt I knows but my back was on a rock and that was hurting powerful more than what he was a pokin me with.  But then my momma kicked him off a me and shot him with a deer rifle right in the chest.  I thawt he was dead, dead, dead. but he wernt. When they heard what she done at the hospital, the sherriff come an take her to jail an I ain't never seen her no more.  When she done shot him, she was a sceamin she gonna kill any som-bitch touches her Tawny girl.  An ever since then he don't touch me no more. Not even when I passes him the salt."

          I had to clear away the confusion of my own perceptions of what is real and what must be fiction before I could allow the image of this affair to penetrate the barriers of my consciousness. Loose scraps of unanswered reality were snapping into place with answers attached to them: The purple scar on Joe's back, the way Joe only looks at Tawny's breasts and never touches her when he's masturbating, The way Tawny bosses him around and shoves on him without the least concern for reprisal.

           "How old were you sweetheart?  How long has your momma been gone?"

          "Seems a whole lot longer than it prolly is. I kinda lost count of days after she's gone. Lord how I cried, an how long it been i don know.  I can't remember almost nothin cept what I seen’n heard that day."

          "Do you remember how old Joe was? Was he a big guy like now?"

          "Well, kinda, he was tall but kinda skinny. not all like a bull the way his is now. Gawd, how he stared at my ma, blood soakin his shirt, his little pecker standin up... She was a tryin to figur out how to cock the gun again cuas'n she's a gonna kill him. Poor ole Joe.  I tried to tell the sherriff how it be with Joe an all, an I told him how it was my fault an all, but he shook his head sayin you caint go shootin kids cause of a little spring fever, an ole vern told him how she was a tryin to reload so's to kill him, an the sherriff, he didn't like that one bit.  So she's gone.  My momma."

          She was staring blankly at the ceiling.  From what she said, it sounded like Joe was about 14 or 15, his penis not fully mature, but still a tall kid. God, that means she was about 6 or so.

          "Stay quiet there for a minute." I said, getting up.   Even lying there naked in the dim light, I was seeing her completely different now. My sexual needs being overly satisfied, I was now deeply concerned and feeling very protective of Tawny, and I was wondering now that if I hadn't been such a determined pervert, I might have had the capacity to help her. As it was, I had to hope no one would see me leaving town so that I would pass into the void, leaving behind vague recollections of a man in a pickup truck, and a very confused and lonely young lady. 

          My sense of paranoia and self preservation was assembling the vast quantities of ways I would get caught if I stayed around too long. Of course everything hinged on Tawny. If she kept quiet about the whole thing, and could show a high level of discretion, then there would be nothing to worry about. But my life experience, especially when I was her age, made it clear that secrets were designed to be told. They itched and squirmed to be told.   But upon reflection, I realized that the alternate reality, the one where I didn't allow Joe to show his medicine in my presence, thus eliminating the subsequent domino affect of sexual events, And in the absence of intimate discussions that followed, these extremely personal subjects would have been left unexplored. She would have been untouched by me, but I would have had nothing to offer her other than a meaningless good bye blessing - all of her ambiguous problems in tact.

          I returned to her side with her tank top and panties, and a blanket I found folded on the shelf in the hall.  I dressed her, one leg, arm, and head at a time - wrapped her in the blanket and carried her out to the porch in front of the old cabin where an old glider loveseat sat rusting. Cradled in my arms I rocked her while the creaking and squeeking from the glider lulled our minds numb. She quickly fell asleep in my arms.

          I sat there, sinking into an ever deepening meditative trance. The squeaking of the glider and the aching of my arms as I supported the sleeping girl acted as a most effective mantra.

          Meditation has served me well throughout my life. For many years I had dismissed the concepts altogether, not realizing that I had already been using them extensively.  Simply put, meditation is the pursuit of a state of being where emotional responses in your body quiet down so that perception of events and circumstances clarify.  You see, emotions are biological. They are the stimuli that enact a host of behaviors encoded in our genes. These behaviors exist through natural selection for one reason only - to propagate the species.  Or more closely defined: They are to help us survive, mate, and raise children, which is simply restating the same thing. Emotions and instinctive behaviors are for those reasons only, nothing else. But along with the resulting programmed behaviors come groups of programmed rationalizations and justifications, designed to help motivate us to take the suggested action.  This is the nature of ‘instinctive behavior’.  The most important thing to realize when accepting these facts is that the rationales and justifications that help prod us along are designed to hide the true reasons for the behaviors. And many are out right lies.  For example: Sex.  The reason for sexual behavior is for procreation. But when we engage in it, it is seldom with the intent of having a baby. The thought of having a baby doesn’t excite us sexually – our instinctive behavior manipulates us into doing it with promises of happiness, erotic bliss, rewarding chemical cocktails...  They are all carrots to lull us along into doing it, and what gives it away entirely is the fact that for the vast majority of early sexual encounters, there is never the conscious intention to make a baby.  It is for pleasure only. We are being lied to! By our own DNA! 

          This is why humans struggle so much in perceiving their world. Because they seldom know the true motives behind their behavior. We are driven by emotions. We are instinctively given a sense that if we feel a certain way, there must be a 'good' reason for it, and as such, we don't bother with the why's and where fore’s very much, at least until modern times where the consequences for bashing the skull in of a man sleeping with your wife can be disastrous. For the several hundred-thousand years that these behaviors were occurring in such frequency to become hard coded in our genes, they were good. It kept men very careful about who they slept with, and killing a man back then, especially for that reason was looked upon admirably by the community, and he now possessed the dead man’s property, wives and children as a bonus.   Everything is backwards today. Modern society and religion is at war with our emotional and instinctive selves. 
          Meditation rolls back the fog. It allows a person to reason logically like a Vulcan. It cleans our perception of others by removing the influence of 'what's in it for me?'.   Meditation works by allowing the conscious center of the mind to focus on a menial task or distraction that does not have an emotional component. Like breathing, humming, chanting, the buzzing of a fly, the chirping of frogs, or as in my case, keeping the car between the lines on a lonely highway late at night.  I had been meditating for years on these long commutes without even knowing it.  I knew that I usually solved my most perplexing problems while on the road, but it wasn't until I actually took a course in meditation, where they described in detail the resulting physical and mental state you were seeking, that I realized I was already a grand master.

          Since then, I have been able to induce a meditative state easily. The heat and humidity of this early dark evening had Tawny sweating in her deepening sleep. I opened her blanket and let it fall away. She cooed at the warm breeze on her damp body and curled up tight. I clasped my hands to hold her in and dropped back into my meditation, keeping my eyes closed, knowing the image of her body would be far too distracting. What entered the homogenous white of my consciousness was the idea that Tawny might benefit from seeing her mother again. And I could only imagine the joy her mother would feel at seeing her baby girl. If the circumstances of her incarceration were not too dire:  that she could present herself clean, well groomed and otherwise healthy, that her daughter would take heart in knowing something of her mother and to be held by her again, even if only once. I'm sure she had probably tried to get ole Vern to take her to her mommy, wherever she was, but I can imagine how that went. The problem was how to find out without blowing my anonymity or telling the girl. I mean, her mother could be dead for all I or anyone knew. Ideas began to emerge against the white canvas of my mind: Go to the county seat and look up the records surrounding the case. Having the name of her mother, I could locate her within the prison system; Hell, I guess they could be state charges, or federal for that matter - but probably not; A well placed anonymous inquiry at the sheriff’s office might uncover a tidbit or two, like her name.

          I shook Tawny awake. "Sweety, I'm going in town to get some things. Is there anything you need? like milk or eggs or anything?" 

          Tawny shook off her slumber and sat up, "You aint gotta go now do ya? caint you wait till mornin?" 

          "Tomorrow's Sunday, I'm afraid the stores might all be closed." I said - from the hip.

          "There is that." She acknowledged.

          "I'd ask you to come with me but I expect you have some work to do with supper and it getting late."

          "Promise you'sa comin' back?"

          "I promise"

 

          Driving the twenty miles or so to reach town, I was on a mission in my mind to find a payphone so that I could make a call to the Sheriff and ask some questions. But I had to be careful. The last thing I wanted was to have the Sheriff alerted to what might be going on at the cabin out in the sticks. A visit by him with my truck there would be disastrous.  I thought better of it.   The meditative trance of the drive helped me considerably: Across the calm expanse of water that was my consciousness, I could see a hospital bed rocking gently on the swells.  Vern! 

          Parking on a dark side street, I approached the medical building entrance in a baseball cap and some cheap reading glasses I kept in the glove box.  The door was locked but there was an intercom.  I pressed the buzzer.

          "Yes?"  came the tinny reply

          "Uhm, yes, I am inquiring about a heart attack patient you admitted this morning?"

          "Name?"

          "Uhm, my name? or the patient's name?"

          "The patient sir,"  she said, projecting her rolling eyes through the tiny speaker.

          "Errr, Vernard Buskins, maam"

          The door buzzed and I entered.  I was led down stairs to a room with two rows of beds divided by curtains. Vern was in the farthest corner. He appeared asleep.

          The nurse turned to leave, "Uhm, excuse me ma’am, do you know how he's doing?"

          "Not really," she grabbed his chart and flipped some pages, "He's being evaluated in the morning by Doctor....   Doctor Callahan. He is resident at the university and only comes in when there is a cardiac patient.  He's stabilized nicely on blood thinners and should be fine until then."

          "Thank you,"  I said to her back. 

          I felt a nagging urgency to get in and out as fast as possible, but I didn't know why. It seemed a benign enough situation. None the less I prodded Vern and he fixed his beady eyes upon me.

          "Hello, how are you feeling?"

          "Who the hell are you?" he asked.

          "I'm the guy who brought you here. You don't remember?"

          "Oh, yea. I remember" he said contemptuously. "You didn’t have no hat or them girly glasses on."

          'Hmmm' I thought to myself. 'sharp as a tack and mean as an angry hornet.'

          'Vernard, you don't mind if I call you Vernard?" I didn't wait for an answer. "I'm here because your family is in the care of an 11 year old girl. Now I know you don't want to rock the boat if you can avoid it -  I am here to help but you gotta get rid of that attitude. Are we square here? Cause I, being the good Samaritan, won't put up with a cantankerous old fart for very long, I'll just call the Sheriff in and let them figure out what to do with your wife and Joe, and Tawny."

          "How...?  what you been...?"

          "I'm tryin to help you. You understand? Or are you going senile on me?"  We glared at each other at length until Vernard pressed back onto his pillow, softening his expression and searching for some dusty words that might seem friendly.

          "I'm obliged if'n you's helpin my Flora."  He said.  "I don't wanna lose her."

          I couldn't help notice he didn't mention Joe or Tawny as subjects of concern.   "I do want to help. But you have to help me find a way.  We gotta find someone to take care of them while you laid up here. Is there anyone? Aunt, uncle?"  I paused. 

          Vernard immediately shook his head.  I suspect he burned all of those bridges long ago.

          “Is there anyone who cares about the girl? Did her mom have any sisters that would be concerned enough to come look after her?”

          “No, Joe’s her only kin sides me an Flora.”

          “What about her mom. Any chance she might know someone? One of her friends maybe?”  I asked, zeroing in.

          Ain’t got no need a mixen her up with it. She done caused it all in the first place. Hot as a firecracker, never listenin to nobody bout nothin. An’ er brat ain’t much far from worse.”  He stated, clamping his jaw shut defiantly.

          “Listen Vernard, I’m gettin a mite sore at you, so you listen real close: That girl you don’t seem to care for stands a whole lot bigger in my eyes than you do, in every way I can think of. And your contempt for her when she has to depend on you for everything makes me want to wring your scrawny neck. So you got one more chance to prove to me that I shouldn’t pay the sherriff a visit and get em all put into state custody.” I said as his eyes widened in fear.  Not fear of me, but fear of having nobody to go home to. At his age, he’d never get them back.

          In any case, Vernard finally started cooperating and I soon had the whole story.   It turns out that Tawny was Vernard and Flora’s great, great, grand-niece. Her mother, Grace Perkins, had inherited the land from her great grandparents, and had, out of the kindness of her heart, allowed Vernard and Flora to live with her and Tawny, because she needed someone to care for her retarded brother and young daughter while she worked in the business office of one of the local corporate pig farms.  It seemed obvious that Tawny probably had relatives galore, but Vern either didn’t know about them, or stubbornly would not acknowledge their existence.

          Of course Vernard didn’t admit it, but on that fateful day when Joe was shot, he seized the opportunity to make sure the charges against Tawny’s mother stuck. I knew it from how Tawny described the events, and I confirmed it with Vernard’s overt contempt for the woman and her daughter. 

          On the drive back, upon the green fields within my meditating mind, came a horseback rider, galloping fast toward me, carrying an urgent message and streaming the royal ensign. He heralded from the scroll in a clear loud voice: The king has pardoned the lady Perkins whom will return to her estate with her honor restored.  I queried the messenger for details and all he could say was that in exchange for family considerations, her accuser had confessed to perjury regarding the case. Having thanked the messenger with a gold sovereign, he dashed away, kicking up the turf as he went.

 

Chapter break

 

 

<ringing tone> 

“Greenville Penitentiary, how my I direct your call?”

“Yes, I would like to arrange a visit with one of your inmates. I’ve never done this before, so if you could explain what is involved, I would appreciate it.”  I said.

          “Are you a relative?”

          “No.”

          “An attorney?”

          “No.”

          “If you are not a relative or an attorney, then the visit must be initiated by the inmate and approved by staff.  What I suggest is you write to the inmate, and if he or she so desires, they can send you the appropriate forms.”

          “How long does it take for the staff to approve the visits?”

          “We have a backlog of visit requests of approximately six months.”

          Maam, I will be frank with you, I am the temporary guardian of the daughter of one of your inmates. I need to discuss urgent issues regarding her future health and welfare. She is about to be taken from me and placed into the foster care system.”

          “Do you have proof of your guardianship?”

          “No maam, I am only guardian by default of having been the one that helped during the crisis. There is no one else at the moment.”

          “Please hold”

          After a few moments a man came on the line.

          “Security Chf. Thompkins.”

          “Yes, Chf. Thompkins,  I am calling...”

          “Yes, I heard, we sometimes monitor calls. I appologize for interrupting you, but it sounds as if all you need to do is have a phone conversation with the inmate, is that correct?”

          “Well, yes I suppose, but we will be discussing legal matters that are privileged, even though I am not an attorney, but if it would help to arrange a visit quicker, I would be very appreciative.”

          “We have attorney phones that are not monitored or recorded, I can let the inmate use one of those.  Please give me a phone number where you can be reached within the next hour or so, and the name of the inmate.”

          I provided the guy with the info and thanked him profusely.  In about 20 minutes my cell phone was ringing with the familiar area code and number of the prison.

          “Hello?” I said.

          “Hello,  Who is this?” She asked defensively.

          “Is this Grace Perkins?”  I asked.

          “Yes, who is this?”  she insisted.

          “Are you on an attorney phone?” 

          “Yes, I guess, it says it on the door.  What is going on?  Who the fuck is this?”
          “Grace, you don’t know me, but I’m a friend. I have temporary custody of your daughter.” I spoke as calmly as I could.

          “Tawny?  You have my Tawny?  My baby? Where is she? What’s happened?”  She quickly became hysterical. 

          “Please, Miss Perkins, please calm down.  Vern Buskins has had a heart attack. I helped get him to the hospital and then took your girl home.  I am very concerned for her welfare. I am just a do-gooder here and I don’t intend to abandon my occupation and such, but I don’t feel right just leaving your darlin girl in the care of that man. He don’t care a lick for her. She’s not attending school and she has no friends.  But despite all of that, she is a remarkably intelligent, compassionate girl with a strong spirit. She has had to be. It seems she is taking care of all of them herself. 

          “Oh my dear God,  I caint believe...  my baby...” 

          “Have you been in contact with your daughter at all?”

          “No, Shit that bastard, I ain’t heard nothin bout her for five years, I been so sick with hurt and guilt and I just want to kill that son of a..”

          “Excuse me Grace, we might have an opportunity here to change things for the better. I have a plan. I think it’s going to work, but you have to listen real close to what I’m telling you.”  I said, pausing for her to stop crying into my ear.

          “Vern was evaluated yesterday by a good heart specialist. He’s probably not going to be around much longer, and that’s what the doc told him point blank. He started blubbering like a baby.  He is so worried about Flora going into a home that he nearly ran out of the hospital to try to get to her.  He’s smart. He knows what’s coming and he’s desperate to find a way to take care of his wife - and to hell with everyone else, including Tawny and Joe.”

          “Oh my God, how do you know all of this? How long you been taking care of Tawny?”  She asked, now a little suspicious.

          “A day and a half” I said.

          “You sure know a lot for a day an a half.”

          “Your daughter can fill a head full in one hour”

          Grace laughed at that, then trailed off to crying again.

          “Grace, I reviewed the charges against you. The circumstance of you trying to cock the gun again is what really hurt you with the court.  I think I can get Vernard to confess that he lied about that just to get rid of you for good, and in exchange, you would be out on time served and able to take care of his wife for him.”

          Grace whined a high pitch cry of anguish and hope and despair and joy. She recognized it as hopeful, even though she didn’t understand it all. not yet.

          “Grace, listen, all I need for you to do is maintain that you did not intend to shoot Joe a second time. Okay?  It’s important. The difference in degrees for attempted murder is huge. You will be free if the judge buys it.  I gotta go. You stay strong and I’ll take good care of your girl.

          “Wait, what’s your name?”

          But I was conveniently already gone.

 

Chapter break

 

 

          Vernard, wake up.” I prodded him.

          “Huh, what?  oh, you again.”

          “yes, me again.   Vernard, I got a solution to your problem.” I said, and waited for his reaction.    He sat up eagerly. Apparently that’s all he’s been dwelling on, with not even a book or TV to take his mind off his worries.

          “Solution? What do you mean?  There ain’t no solution. I been through it every which way the ass can point. They gonna take Flora from me an put’er in one o’ them state run homes.  She’ll be dead in a week.”  He cried.

          “Listen to me Vern. You might be smart, but there ain’t a one of us as smart as all of us. I got an idea you haven’t thought of.  You’re going to write a letter. I brought it all right here. Here’s the address, it’s a real simple little letter.   I’ll talk, you write.”

          “To the prosecuting attorney, state of Virginia, Western District.

To whom it may concern, I have been recently informed by my doctor that I have a terminal heart condition. As such I am attempting to make my peace with the All-Mighty.  I have lied under oath and perjured myself in the matter of State vs Perkins of July 12th, 1998.  I reported to officers at the scene and then under oath in State Court that I saw Ms. Perkins try to shoot her brother a second time.   Ms. Perkins and I were at odds frequently, and out of anger and resentment I fabricated the story in revenge.  I have been unhappy in the decision ever since.   

 

May God forgive me,

Vernard Buskins

         

          “Sign it Vern.” I demanded.

          “What good is this?”

          “Vern, The lesser charge they were considering for Grace only held a maximum sentence of 5 years. She’s already served that. It was your testimony made em give her 25.”  I said.

          “You mean they’d let er go?”
          “Yes.”

          “Well then she’d come...  wait.  What about Flora. She could stick her in a home to spite me, me being in jail and all.”

          Ain’t nobody puttin you in jail. They don’t want no terminal heart patients. You’ll go home. As ornery as you are, you’ll probably outlive your wife yet.    Now listen, when that prosecutor comes here talkin to you, you just keep it simple and plain. You made it all up, and that’s all. But don’t let him think you’re senile or nothin or he’ll walk out quick.  Okay?  You‘ll do fine.   I gotta go now.”

          “Wait, wait a second, who are you? I mean, what’s your name?  I... I want to thank you proper and I cain’t if I don’t know your name.” He said earnestly.

          “Oh, Shit, that reminds me. You never saw me. I wasn’t here tellin you all this. This was all your idea born of guilt. right?”

          “Right” Vern said hesitantly.

          “Good. Maybe I’ll see you after the dust settles and we can talk then.” I said.   Vern smiled.   “Now sign the letter and give it to the first nurse you see.

         

 

          Chapter break

 

          “Richmond Herald Newsroom, how can I help you?”

          “Yes sir, I have an anonymous tip regarding an attempted murder case...”

          “Yes, go ahead.”

          “There has been a deathbed confession....”

          I outlined the gist in a nutshell and gave enough names and dates so they could dig up the rest. I felt it a huge risk considering what Tawny and I had been up to, but my anonymity was amazingly airtight still. And I was driving the old dodge around whenever I could, leaving my truck at Wal-Mart among the throng.  I felt I needed the story in the papers to move things along a little quicker. If a prosecutor can avoid embarrassment by slipping a confession into the trash, he will.

           I had a long talk with Tawny who cried her eyes out with happy tears at the chance her mommy was a comin home at last. I was her true knight in shining armor -  What were the chances that we had both won each other’s lotteries for each other?

          One of the strangest things I had to tell her, and get it absolutely straight in her mind how important it was, that to her, I did not exist. I was simply some unknown guy in a pickup that had given them a ride home and then disappeared. I did not stay, I did not help, I was forgotten.

She didn’t like the sound of it, but without really telling her the whole reason, I made sure she understood about her mom and that she would probably shoot me with a deer rifle if she ever found out what we had done together.     I did tell her it was alright to share the fact that I stayed here and that we became good friends, and that she needed to change her story about the day Joe got shot.  That part she understood just fine.  Her mom would get to meet me eventually, if all went as planned.   I told her also that the Sherriff would probably come out, and maybe even some reporters, so I had to leave that night. 

          A little while later I was checkin under the hood of the Dodge and Tawny came up to me with a bag over her shoulder pullin Joe behind her .

          “C’mon Robbie, I gotta goin away present for ya.”  She smiled mischeivously at me.

          “What? wait, where are we going? “  I asked as we tromped off up a trail that looked like it went nowhere.  I was already hot, having been messing with Vern’s car in the blazing sun. Now I had to struggle to keep up with them and the sweat was soaking me in the closeness of the woods.

          “C’mon Tawny, where are you taking me, we been walking for ever.” I pleaded.  Joe had been mumbling his mantra, making me think she had promised him something, but what, I couldn’t imagine.  She handed me a bottle of water from her bag and said, “C’mon, it ain’t far now.”  She didn’t have a bit of sweat showing, and neither did Joe.

          Eventually we came to a clearing in the woods. I could hear voices and cars and music not too far away as if we were near a residential area, Tawny took a pair of binoculars out of her bag and handed them to me, smiling very large.

          “What? What are you cookin Tawny?” I asked.

          “You lay down behind that log there, cover up with some sticks and such so if’n somebody over here looks, they won’t see you. But don’t you move you hear. you jus watch what ole Tawny can do.  I’ll be back in about ten minutes so’s you be ready.”  She trotted off.

          Of course I knew now what was up. She was going to get her girlfriends and make them put on a show for me. What a dear. And she thought out the logistics perfectly: The binoculars, the hiding spot, the water. That girl is a genius.”

          I heard the girl’s giggles and short screeches, then shushing sounds, then more giggles, etc. as they grew louder and came closer. The first to emerge into the clearing as if she were the pied-piper was of course Tawny, who squinted her eyes right at me to assess how well my camouflage was working. She gave me a thumbs up from behind her back once she had turned around to take charge of the procession. She choreographed the production like a pro, directing traffic and trimming up the line. They all obeyed stealing shy glances at Joe who was standing slightly apart tugging at his shirt and mumbling his mantra, very excited and obviously very comfortable among the girls.

          The girls ranged in age from about 9 all the way to 15 or 16. There were seven of them not including Tawny.  The oldest and tallest was a strikingly elegant young woman, and the rest, though varying greatly in stature and features, all held their own beauty.  When they had quieted down, Tawny whispered in Joe’s ear, who shook his head at her. She slapped him hard on the arm and whispered in his ear again. This time he stared blankly, processing, until slowly he understood and started to nod.  Tawny kissed his cheek, turned and took two big steps right toward me, peered hard into the shadows one more time to see if I was visible, smiled at me, turned and sat down to watch the show.

          Joe said: “Clothes off - medicine”

          Hearing this Tawny excitedly glanced over her shoulder at me, laughing silently, while the girls mumbled among themselves. Joe had never changed his mantra before, and this change definitely got my attention. A few of the girls removed their tops and fumbled with their bras. The others, unsure, waited to hear Joe again, “Clothes off - medicine” he repeated in his thick voice.

          Now some of the girls were topless and stood their waiting for the show to start. The others quickly stripped their tops off, confident now that that was what he meant.   They stood obeidiently with their variety of breast and nipple sizes, skin tones, and heights, checking the line to make it straight, and waited.

          “Clothes off - medicine” He repeated.

          Tawny wiggled excitedly at how well Joe was doing, and the girls looked accusingly at her. Tawny shrugged back at them and pointed at Joe, “He’s the boss, you gotta do what he says or I guess we’ll just go home.”  She said, getting a worried look from Joe. She winked at him with no affect.

          “Clothes off - medicine” Joe said.

          Some of the braver girls were too excited to let this spoil the fun, so they talked excitedly at the shyer girls while they struggled with their pants and stockings, cheering them on.  Pretty soon, there was a perfect line of seven dwarf nymphs, naked and smiling at Joe expectantly.  I could see the bulge in Joe’s overalls from my blind, without the binoculars.  In fact, I was close enough to enjoy the show without them, But with them, I could easily discern the size of each girls clitoris, and the color and density of hair, no matter how fine, covering their bodies. One of the girls, probably thirteen or so, had an amazing set of breasts. Absolutely picture perfect, an artist’s dream. ‘A camera, a camera, my kingdom for a camera!’  Come to think of it, I’m docking Tawny a few points for not thinking of it.

          “Dance - medicine”  Said Joe, the girls moaning loudly at this new requirement.

          “Dance - medicine” he said and stomped a foot to show how serious he was.  The lead girls started jitterbugging in place, egging on the others.  The excitement and outrageousness of their behavior was growing quickly.  Soon the girls were skipping and dancing in a big circle around Joe and Tawny, laughing and smiling, kicking and spinning, slapping butts in front of them.  Tawny kept steeling proud glances back at me, but fell still for a while as the din continued to rise and the energy started going off the scale. All of a sudden she started tugging at her clothes like they were of fire. In a flash she was naked and in amongst the girls laughing and dancing, staring joyfully at me every time she passed by my side of the clearing.

          Joe was now standing near the ring of dancing girls with his pants around his knees, erection protruding out, just staring in disbelief at the dancing forest nymphs.  One of the brave girls, seeing an opportunity when he wasn’t looking, touched his penis as she skipped by, Joe slowly reacted, but by the time she came around again, his eye had followed another girls bouncing breasts away and she touched it again.

          Soon, all of the girls were touching his penis as they danced past, Joe laughing with them. On and on like this, the girls seemed tireless, Tawny especially, who I think felt she had been accepted by the pack, dancing naked with them, and she too touched Joe when she danced by. Even though the girls were still dancing energetically, the circle had nearly stopped rotating because the girls were taking more and more time to stroke Joe’s penis for him at each pass, watching the pleasure on his face at each stroke.  The blushes in the girls were deep and covered their bodies, especially when seen in bright sunlight, combined with the sweat, humidity and exertion. 

          Joe began to ejaculate and a couple of girls screamed at having got some on their hands. They laughed riotously and huddled around close to see.

          The oldest girl, and one of the prime instigators and ring-leaders, was kneeling down and studying him with a determined and serious look on her face. Standing back up she pushed a few girls back and came right up close to Joe. She guided his drooping member between her legs and rubbed it against herself, throwing her head back dramatically as if in the throws of an orgasm already - obviously putting on a show for her younger followers, who watched with serious faces at the spectacle. 

          Tawny saw Joe’s fear as the memory of being shot for something similar welled up in him. She went to him and talked in his ear, soothing him. He relaxed and looked down at the girl who idolized his god-like body.  He was huge next to them.   Her big beautiful eyes were looking right into his as she rubbed the head of his penis against her clitoris from her tiptoes. Tawny, with a brand new education in such matters, took Joe‘s hands one at a time and placed them on the girls breasts.   His eyes grew bigger as he began to enjoy the sights and feelings again, his fear subsiding. He fondled her breasts eagerly.

          One of the other older girls pushed the ring-leader away insisting on a turn, but she wasn‘t as tall, and even on her tiptoes, she couldn‘t reach the head of his penis with her clitoris.  So the girl went to Tawny and whispered excitedly in her ear, gesturing with her hands.  Tawny, stealing a quick glance at me flashed her tongue in a bratty way for my benefit, went to Joe and whispered in his ear again. The second girl in the meantime had collected some clothes and was placing them on the ground. Tawny led Joe over and he laid down on his back, on the bed of clothes prepared for his comfort, his massive chest and erection visible to me above the tall grass.

          The first girl was moving in toward Joe, realizing now what a good idea it was, but the second girl was determined to get her turn, having figured out a solution to her problem.  The ring-leader relented and stood back watching as her friend climbed on top of Joe, straddling his huge torso, her knees un-able to touch the ground beside him.  She rocked slowly, trying to find some sensual pleasure in what was happening but seeming to be very awkward in her attempts.  Her hips were not aligned to produce maximum contact with her slit. and she was slid too far backward so that most of his penis was out in front of her.  She became embarrassed and gave up.

          The first girl was ready and quickly took her place again, having seen the trouble her friend had, she was determined not to make the same mistakes.  Taking Joe’s hands and placing them back on her breasts, she sat up high, rocking and rolling her hips in a very effective way. Joe’s penis could be seen rising up as she lifted, until he was fully erect again, The girl ground her slit against his penis skillfully, pausing to touch it, it glistened from her juices in the sunlight. She felt alone with him, as if he was hers to do with as she pleased. She considered a moment, shifted her position forward, and began trying to work him inside her.  The other girls gathered behind to see.  The tall girl, with her smallish but dark nippled breasts still cupped in Joe’s hand, could not for all her effort get Joe’s large penis to penetrate her.  She gave up and decided to save face by letting some of the other girls fail as well.

          Several of them tried, most very half-heartedly, just to say they weren’t chicken.  Eventually they settled in to a game of hot potato, taking turns stroking him exactly five times each, to see who’s hand it would be in when it finally gushed.  It was the youngest girl who got it all over the back of her hand, mainly because she counted once for every other stroke, and in order to keep the same cadence of count, her hand moved furiously.

          With that the event was over and the girls slowly sorted out the clothes and got dressed. Tawny was talking excitedly with a girl her same age. I heard her say ‘My mother’ above the other chatter. The other girl’s eyes brightened in joy for Tawny’s good fortune. Tawny beamed.

          The ring-leader was holding them back from leaving. When she got their attention, she threatened each of them with all kinds of unimaginable horrors if any of them should utter a single word to anyone about the secret place and the sacred events that take place there.

 

 

Follow-up:   Tawny felt she owed so much that she could never ever find a way to pay me back.  I tried to explain that the field trip she planned for me in the woods was plenty of payback, but she wasn’t buying it.  Especially since it was only intended to pay me back for ‘trying’ to help. Because at that time, we didn’t even know if my trying had worked.  So now that we knew it had, well, an even bigger favor was owed.   

          It had been a month or so since Grace had come back home. And I was in good with her, and I liked the fire of her spirit the way it shone like her daughter’s. But I was hesitant to get romantically involved, even though I knew I could. All of the messages had been sent to me leaving the door wide open. I just didn’t know. I couldn’t see into the future far enough to know how Tawny would feel with me in bed with her mom, having as strong of feelings as she does towards me. But who knows, We’ll see with time how things’ll settle out.  In the meantime, I had the visions of sugar-plum forest nymphs dancing in my head day and night. Relentlessly pestering me. Even during one of my meditations I relived the entire experience from Joe’s perspective, seeing that tall thin girl trying her best to impale herself upon me, all the while squeezing those tight young breasts. 

          Having those thoughts prominent in my mind, and having Tawny sitting here next to me dreamin up ways to repay me, I offered some input to her already proven idea maker.  But before I could, she spouted out another. 

          “How bouts I cleans yer teeth for ya real good like the lady at the dentist, every week for the rest o yer life?  How bouts that?” She asked in all sincerity.

          “How bout once and we calls it evens?” I said.

          “No, now you aints be’n serious. I wants to!”  She whined.

          Her countrified drawl I’ve noticed ebbs and flows with her moods. The happier and more excited she is, the thicker it gets. The sleepier and more melancholy she gets, the more proper her speech becomes, until you might not even think she lived in the country.

          “Hey, Tawny.”

          “Hmm?” She hummed

          “I was thinking bout them girls an what you did for me. Man that was something. You had them girls eating out of your hands. I bet they talked about that for a whole week. They probably still talking about it.”

          Tawny smiled, “I know. The other day I was throwin rocks in the crick from up on the bluff back a piece, an one o them girls was a poking around hopin to find me an Joe. She was wanting some o’ his loving in a mighty bad way to be walking all that way by herself.”

          “Which girl was it?” I asked.

          “That real pretty, tall one, was trying on Joe so hard.”

          “What did you do?”

          “I told her she just gonna have to go on back caus’n Joe is sleeping an if Vern catches holt of her she gonna wish she had.”

          “Did she leave?”

          “Yeah, but she tried bein all nice and beggin me a while to pleas just the three of us go have some fun in the wood. But I worry now bout Joe. He’s getting where he might hurt one o them girls by accident now he ain afraid to touch em no more. You know?”

          “How’d you get so smart for an 11 year old?”  I didn’t expect an answer.  She shrugged and kept pulling hearts of grass and sucking them. “I ever tell you how I meditate?”  She shook her head.   I told her a quick version of what meditation does and why I use it.  “Well, once I get really deep into it, I kind of wake up in different places, and I just watch what happens or what comes into my mind, and a lot of times I find the answers to my problems there, kind of hidden. Like a puzzle.  Anyway, I woke up once in a deep forest inside a clearing and it was real peaceful and the sun was shining, but then I saw you coming up the trail and I tried to call to you but I couldn’t. my mouth wouldn’t work right, like it was to slow for my mind. You came up to me and whispered in my ear to lie down and relax, that I was gonna show my medicine. You were treating me like Joe. Then you went off and came back with the girls, but they were all kinda scared cause I wasn’t Joe, but you talked to em and said I was just like Joe, I was a retarded friend of Joe’s.   Anyway, the pretty girl was on me like she was with Joe, and she got me inside her because I’m not so big.   Man, when I woke up from that I was sure hurtin to see you.”   I’ve noticed when I get in long conversations with Tawny, I start adopting her manner of speaking.

          Tawny was thinking hard about my story. Her eyes were sharp and sparking with the tides of ideas coming and going.  “Robbie, that is a perfect idea. You thinking like me now. Not only would I be a payin you back with sumpin I knows you gonna love, but I’d be foolin those girls, payin them back too.  It’d be fun to tell ‘em you’s not really retarded after all, right after they’s all done, and watch their faces when you say “Thank you ladies.”, in your polite speakin way.”  She said, and reflected on that a moment, “but I knows we can’t do that.”  She paused, evaluating the risks and assembling the bits and pieces of the strategy.  “Oh Robbie, let’s try, you wanna?  We can say Joe’s sick but we was watchin his retarded friend while his folks is on a trip. I swear, that is the best idea I ever did hear.” She said excitedly.

          “And you won’t feel mad at me being touched and loved on by them?”  I asked carefully

          Naw, they ain’t gonna never mean nothing to you like I do.  We know everything about each other and they don know nothing an they never will. So we kinda get to have whatever they gots to give and we takes it cause they’s a powerful hungry for what’s we got. Sides, I wanna see her git you up inside, an then my friend might try and I bet she don’t do it. But then I’m gonna show them all how we did it on that first night, and sees their faces. Wouldn’t that beat all?”  She jumped up and spun in circles, her arms outstreatched, face to the sky.  Then she stopped to kiss me and her dizziness tipped her right over onto her back.  I leaned over and kissed her laughing mouth, then tickled her until she squirmed away, making the most pleasant and joyous squeaking sounds.

          I had been coming to see these folks on the weekends. Tawny and I had had that conversation shortly after I had arrived late on Friday. Of course I mostly came to see Tawny, but I always brought my tools and worked to fix the place up. With Joe as a willing helper, we accomplished amazing things in a very short amount of time. Pretty soon we had Flora sittin on the freshly painted glider in a flower garden. Watching the birds in the bath and feedin from the feeder. Old vern was on oxygen and would drag his bottle from the trailer to sit next to her.  I talked with Grace about her financial situation, which, for lack of cash, she felt was in ruins. But I came to realize that she had not taken the time to properly set her affairs in order when she came into her inheritance. All she had was a letter in her drawer that left a trust to her. She looked at the place as a shabby backwater hole in the ground. But I wasn’t so sure. When I asked her where her neighbors property lines were she honestly didn’t have any notion except that her property went west of the crossroads. We took Tawny with us to the County Seat and looked up the land surveys.  She had to sit down a spell when she realized she owned over 4000 acres of forest. I told her she could live like a queen just selling a little timber now and then and leasing the hunting rights. The land was protected from sale by the trust.  There was a significant amount of equity in the trust, but it couldn’t be touched. It was designed to be self-sufficient so that taxes were paid by the interest it generated. But otherwise, she was free to use the land any way she saw fit. She had a place to live and no one could take if from her.

          “And to think I took that job at the pig farm like it was the best thing coulda happened.” Grace said.

          I had inquired at a local sawmill to get an idea what Grace could expect from an acre of selectively cut trees, and met a most enterprising gentleman. I didn’t disclose any names or places, but when I said 4000 acres of timber, within the county, I saw him connect the dots.  

          He immediately took me into the lunch room and told me the idea his father had thirty years prior, because he had approached Grace’s great grandparents, but they didn’t want the land disturbed.  His excitement was due to the fact that with the new equipment he had just invested in, selective cutting was much more feasible and profitable, and made his father’s idea irresistible.

          That evening I told Grace what it was.

          “Grace, I inquired with the sawmill and met a man, John BonHomme. Apparently his father new your Great Grandparents. He wants to renew a business deal they proposed over thirty years ago.”

          “What?” she asked curiously.

          “Well, Apparently there is a spring fed creek out in the middle of your tract of land. He wants to cut the timber in that valley, build a dam, and make a lake. A large lake. Over 200 acres. He says the bluffs ringing the valley will make it the most beautiful place you could ever imagine. And he says there’s a low shelf of bedrock that stands about 45 feet off the valley floor, Just above the waterline of the finished lake that would be perfect for a large cabin, and it’s accessible from the ridge if you blast away a few outcroppings, for a driveway.”

          “You mean for us?”  Grace asked in disbelief.

          “Yes, for you. It’s your land isn’t it?”

          “Yeah, but I caint afford no big new cabin. And lake? How much is all that gonna cost?”

          “Here’s the deal grace.” I handed her a large yellow envelope. “It’s all there from when they proposed it 30 years ago.”   Grace started opening the seal.

          “I can tell you the major points.  The sawmill cuts the trees inside the footprint of the proposed lake. The state conservation department with the Corp of Engineers builds you a top notch damn and spillway using federal and state money for the creation of wetlands, The lumber company builds you a very handsome log cabin lodge on the only spot available, that ledge I told you about, they put in a road, paved all the way out to the crossroad, and all they want for it is the trees.  The trees they cut for the lake pays for it all.”  I paused while Grace unfolded the artists rendering of an elevated view of the lodge.

          “Oh my God,  It is beautiful”  She said in disbelief

          “Yes it is.”

          The lodge was a three sided modified A-frame structure with more windows than you would ever want in the city. But of course out here, only the animals will blush. It was large, with 4 plus bedrooms, and very well designed.

          “I made them agree to install a state-of-the-art geothermal heat pump system using the lake as a heat sync, so that there will be no need for propane, and a supplemental high-efficiency wood burning furnace and hot water system.  I was concerned that utility costs for such a large place might over tax your income.”

          “How soon?” She asked excitedly

          “As soon as you call him back”

 

 

          Tawny had taken the idea I had handed her like a snowflake, and ran with it until it was like a giant snowball eating up the countryside. Even though I did flash back to the forest glade during one of my meditations, the idea hadn’t hatched until I fantasized about it later in a waking dream. I had used creative license in telling Tawny it had sprung from my meditations, mainly because I was being cautious about hurting her feelings in case she might feel jealous. This way it seemed like an apparition, and more her idea than mine.  Early Saturday morning she shook me awake, poured some coffee in me and pulled me out to our special spot on the bluff where we do most of our talking and making out.

          “Why are we here so early?” I asked, pulling her closer and running my fingers across her breasts playfully.  

          She slapped my hands away and said, “Now Robbie, stop it! You gotta practice actin like Joe iff’n this is gonna work. We gonna go tomorrow after all them girls is home from church and you gotta be ready.” She said seriously.   “This is important to me, so be serious.”

          “Okay, okay, I will. But cain’t I have a little lovin to get me in the mood?”  I begged.

          “Well, okay, but then we’s a getting serious. Promise?”  She held her bent pinky out to me. 

          I hooked mine with hers and rolled her on top of me, kissing her lips and slipping my hand up her shirt.  She humored me as long as she could before her fear and frustration at not knowing my acting capabilities forced her to push me away and get down to business. 

          As it turned out, I was a natural. I had been around Joe long enough as we worked together that I could mimic his mannerisms fairly easily. What Tawny was thinking would take a full day of rehearsals took twenty minutes.  So finding a comfortable place to recline, I soaked in the scenery while Tawny gently gyrated her hips, relishing the feeling of pressure and stiffness deep within her. We were incredibly happy.

          The next day I did some leisurely reading and took a late morning shower, checking myself for stray hairs and what not that might frighten the girls. But I looked damned handsome in the mirror.  By the time I was pressed and dressed, Tawny had her bag packed, Joe in tow, and was chompin on the bit to get going. When we started off across the yard I stopped,

          “Are we taking Joe with us?” I asked, puzzled.

          Tawny stopped and fixed me with a confused stare. “Well, crap a monkey! What am I thinkin’?” She looked at Joe, “He always comes with me.” She said.  “Joe, you go back on in the house an well come get you later. You watch some toonies, okay?”

          “Medicine” he said, stamping his foot.

          “It’s no good, Robbie, he ain’t gonna go.”  She thought a moment, turned and trudged up the trail, “C’mon, I know what we can do.”
          She led us to our secret spot not far from the trailhead and quickly dropped her bag to the ground. Turning to face Joe she lifted her shirt off and placed his hands on her breasts.  After a few seconds, she started rubbing him through his pants. Joe’s bulge quickly grew. Keeping his hands on her breasts, Tawny undid his suspenders and hips buttons and pulled everything down until he was exposed. She moved quickly, obviously feeling the need to fry bigger fish, even though they weren’t bigger. She stroked him vigorously, his head tilting and arching in pleasure, and squeezing Tawny’s small breasts in his massive hands. I was right behind Tawny and wanted so much to be touching her, I gently rubbed her shoulders and kissed her neck. Reaching around I cupped her mound in my hand and massaged her firmly, sucking and licking her neck and nibbling her ear. She pumped Joe, switching hands when they became tired. Joe removed his hands from Tawny and stepped back, stroking himself more fully, with his bigger hands. I immediately caressed her breasts with my free hand.  Tawny tried to open her legs while standing but stepped on my foot, tripping us both up. We fell to the ground. By the time we had gotten back up, Joe was dripping the last of his medicine onto the ground in front of him. Quickly, Tawny put herself back together and we headed back to the trailer to drop Joe for his nap. 

          Twenty minutes later I was hot and sweating, waiting for cool-as-cucumber-Tawny to return with the tribe of girls. I rummaged through the sack and drank another bottle of water. On the very log I had hid behind with the binoculars, I set up the mini digital video camera I had smuggled In my back pack, then sat down in the shade just outside the clearing and tried to meditate. Just as I was beginning to induce the state, I heard the excited chirping of the girls a few hundred yards away.  I switched on the camera, hid it a little with some bark, and started searching for my retarded self. I found him,  slipped him on, and watched as they came into view.

          The girls were in bikinis with shining wet hair. They had all been swimming.  They stood back glaring at me. Tawny speaking reassuringly to them.

          “See, he’s cute isn’t he?”  She said.

          “One of the younger ones said, “He’s old.”

          Naw, he ain’t old, he just looks it. Really he ain’t much older than old Joe.   Sides, nothing wrong with older anyways long as he’s cute.”

          The girls just stood there gawking at me. I didn’t move, just kept the dumb look on my face.  

          Tawny became impatient and said, “Okay, well iff’n ya don’t wanna play, it’s okay. I’ll jus go an have him all to mysef.”

          The brave older beauty broke the ice and stepped forward.  Coming right up to me, I shied away slightly like she might hit me, “Shh, it’s okay” she said, “I ain’t gonna hurt you.   What’s your name?” She asked, squatting down beside me.

          “Robbie” I said in my thick Joe speak.

          Hearing this the other girls moved forward, somewhat reassured.

          “And what do you want Robbie?” She asked softly in my ear.

          I painted a sweet and stupid smile on and replied, “Shirt off”

          With that the girl went back and started assembling and reassuring the other girls.   Tawny came over to me and lifted me up, guiding me just like she had Joe to the spot where the opening ritual takes place.   But this time, Tawny went to get in line with the other girls instead of being a bystander. I smiled and winked at her, then acted like it was a fly on my nose.

          Tawny addressed the group quickly saying that she had taught me how to play already so I knew what to say.   I ran through the ritual with all the skill of a horny retard. Soon the glade was again full of naked nymphs dancing gaily. When I had dropped my pants, the tall girl stopped dancing and came up to me examining my penis. She turned and ran to her friend, whispering in her ear, both of them measuring me with their eyes. They stayed serious for a while, talking. Seeming satisfied with whatever they had decided, they returned to the dance. I positioned myself just inside the ring of girls, their soft fingers touching my penis as they passed.  The circle slowed as before and touches became more sensual and exploratory.  Soon, I was on my back on a bed of young girls bikini tops and bottoms, the girls standing over me as if retarded people couldn’t see.  All I could see were tight butts, slits, mounds and nipples.

          While I was soaking in the sights near my head, the tall ringleader was first in line and stood straddling me. Her lovely pussy staring down at me. She sat down and placed my hands on her breasts before starting. Slowly she began rocking, sliding her slit along the length of my hard erect penis, urging her juices to begin flowing. I twiddled her nipples, which made her jump and she looked me in the eyes. I glared back with a stupid smile. The girl might have failed with Joe because she was too dry. I couldn’t help her along so I just lay there, cupping her breasts, trying to point my head at her opening.  Soon she began trying to force herself on me. She was incredibly tight and my erection bent painfully at her thrusts and I winced in pain. Tawny stopped her.

          “Stop, you’re hurting him” She said, and reluctantly the girl got up.  Next in line was her shorter but very pretty brunette friend who had instigated the lying down position with Joe.

          This girl took some initiative and laid down on top of me and kissed me gently on the mouth. I wrapped my arms around her and cupped her petite butt in my hands. I could see Tawny anxiously watching, whispering to her friend, apparently spinning her plan to get her to try.  Tawny’s friend was the same height as Tawny, but she weighed probably twenty pounds more. But this was a good thing for her. The weight was evenly distributed and her milky smooth skin was without a blemish anywhere. She had long blond hair and brown eyes and a very pretty face. Her breasts were small points standing out from her chest, half the size of Tawny’s.  She was next in line.

          The second girl was failing as well, mainly because of the awkward way she held her hips. The tall girl tried helping her and might have succeeded if Tawny hadn’t called, “Next!”

          Tawny’s pretty friend smiled and giggled as she stepped over me and squatted down. Her clitoris pointing out like the tip of a pencil.  She reached down and stood my penis up straight and began trying to impale herself on me. Apparently she and Tawny had devised a strategy.  It might have worked if she had any of her juices flowing. I reached up and began twiddling her nipples. The sensations were strong as if tickling her and she pushed my hands away. I reached out again and gently cupped my hands over her smooth chest.  She tolerated this fine and I soon felt her nipples harden in my palms. Her squatting position got tiring, so she laid down on me and gave little effort to bring me inside her. It seemed her heart just wasn’t in it. 

          I saw Tawny approach, thinking she was going to call ‘time’, but instead she whispered to her friend and they plotted for another assault on her maidenhead.   She got up. Faced my feet and sat down on my stomach, causing me to lurch in pain.  She lay back, her blond hair covering my face, and lifted her hips.  Tawny was guiding my erection for her, but she wasn’t forcing herself down. It seems she thought my penis was a snake that will crawl it’s way up in her.  Getting frustrated, I thrust for her. Seeing this, the tall girl spoke urgently to me, “Yeah, do that some more Robbie” I thrust again, and the girls cheered me on.  The girl on top of me had her legs open nicely, but she was up pretty far onto my stomach that at the end of my thrust, the head of my penis only slightly pushed at her opening. So on one of my thrusts, I tensed my abs, bouncing her up and I ooched her down about two inches. Now I was pressing against her. Each thrust was working her modest juices out of her opening and onto my penis.  After a minute or two of this, the girl was feeling the swoon start to take hold of her, my hands massaging her breasts and her vagina being hammered continuously.  All of a sudden she let loose a steady flow of juices and my head was disappearing inside of her.  The girls faces stared in wonder. Soon I was pushing her hymen and she was squeaking and trying to get up.  I released her and she rolled off of me, smiling at her friends who were looking at her proudly.

          Next the ten year old was ushered to the front by the older girls. Her slight frame was perfectly shaped and her breasts were similar to Tawny’s friend’s – points that stick out like small cones.  She had a dark tan with three white triangles if viewed from the front. The helping hands had her sprawled just like the girl before, since it was the only success any of them had had so far. Stick with what works I guess. But the young girl was having none of it. She wanted to do it her way, so she told one of the other girls to hold it up for her and she skillfully rocked herself against the head, getting it to slip inside due to the wetness already on me.  She continued the rocking, my head still just inside her opening and not really moving with her rocking, until I felt it slip in a little farther. With this, I started thrusting a little and to my amazement, a flood of moisture rushed out of her and I was sliding in and out of this very young girl with a wonderful feeling building in my loins from her tight and slippery channel.  I pulled her down to me and held her against me, her knees at my sides, the girls were exclaiming how she was taking me in.  I was careful not to thrust beyond their virginal barriers.   I kept screwing her up, letting her decide how deep, until she shuddered from her first intercourse induced orgasm of her life. Just as this happened, her clamping vagina squeezing down on my erection as I continued to thrust to hopefully draw out her orgasm to its full length, the climax welled up in me very suddenly and I had to pull out and pump my sperm onto her back and into her butt crack.   When she had returned to her friends, I heard her say, “It was awesome, it felt really good.”  and them responding, “You made him squirt!”  and then, “Get it off me!”   Two girls used a napkin from Tawny’s pack and wiped the sperm from her back, holding it out like toxic waste before pitching it into the woods.

          Tawny gently cleaned my penis with a napkin she moistened with water from her pack. I was going limp quickly but she sweetly continued rubbing me. With all the naked girls gathering above my head again, I was soon hardening again. Tawny sat on me next and placed my hands on her breasts, smiling so sweetly with her warm blushed cheeks. I was so ready to feel the deep penetration I had to starve myself of with the other girls. Leaning over and kissing me, we quickly had me slipping easily into her vagina, not wasting any time. The girls chatter hushed into stunned silence as Tawny gave them a clear view of her slight young body taking me entirely in to the hilts, and then moaning great pleasure for them to hear. She fucked me proper for several minutes, sitting up straight, impaled, and then lying back on top of me so I could thrust at her.  She climaxed dramatically for her friends, shivering and curling her toes, face raised to the sky.  She slumped for a short moment, then got up. Tawny made me stand up, and she immediately laid down on the bikinis. Opening her legs wide to me, she made a very seductive expression on her face, and her loosened vagina was moist and gaping open slightly from having been stretched a few moments prior - It all said “Fuck me again!” and this time it was for all the glory, to elevate her to the pinnacle of being the sexiest, bravest, most erotic member of the group.   Of course the other girls were speechless, especially when my clenching buttocks indicated that I was thrusting inside her sweet young pussy again. Now the girls could see Tawny’s face, eyes closed, biting her lip, moaning. Her head bouncing with my persistant thrusts.  I helped her to romanticize the show for the benefit of the audience by kissing her deeply while waiting for the impending ejaculation to subside, then driving deep for several more thrusts. Seeing this, two of the younger girls kissed on the mouth. While watching them, I was distracted from trying not to cum, which I had to do all the time while fucking young nymphets. It rose in my loins and as I considered, I decided to cum inside Tawny.

          Why?  Well, I had just cum on the other girl a few minutes before, and there is always residual sperm inside the penis that seeps out during a subsequent intercourse, tens of thousands of the little dears, so I was going to have to provide her with some kind of post-intercourse contraception anyway, so what the hell?

          I didn’t realize that being able to continue pumping and thrusting into Tawny while I was racked with spasms of ejaculation would make the experience so much more extreme than the first time we did it.  It was amazingly wonderful, and Tawny felt it too.

          After that, I was ready to get going, wanting to spend the moments and hours following such a mating holding her and caressing her to sleep in my arms, alone and away from all of these eyes.

          As soon as I rose from Tawny, the other girls helped her up: not out of concern for her, but to allow another girl to take her place. The 13 year old girl, the one that could easily be a supermodel with her perfectly pert breasts,  laid down and struck the same pose Tawny had so successfully demonstrated for them. Her legs were wide open and a glint of sunlight reflected off of the moisture at her opening. She tried her best to put on the ‘come hither and fuck me’ look, but it was laced with doubt and a little fear.

          I had to stand over her for a few moments, stroking myself back to erection. I wasn’t sure if I would have it in me to fuck them all, if that was their intent.  I decided that I would burst any girls maidenhead that laid down, fuck her until she had an orgasm, then move on to the next, without trying to cum myself.  To avoid any problems, I lifted the back of her knees until her hips had rocked upward, aiming her now open vaginal lips in line with my penis.  Then I realized that I couldn’t do it.

          Here I had the most perfectly formed and wonderfully sculpted young girl spread open to me and I knew that I couldn’t fuck her. Looking down between her legs at the head of my dick an inch from her open vagina, a drip of sperm hung there hopefully.  It reminded me, the me in the head on my shoulders, that if I did, there was the chance that she would become pregnant from the residual sperm still swimming in my penal vein. And I had no way to get a contraceptive to her or explain anything to her because I’m a retarded idiot. Up untill this point, I had done pretty well at covering my tracks. If I went on down this reckless path I would end up with a baby that proclaims me as its father through its DNA. These girls were equally as blind to what was happening as I had momentarily become. They were so worked up into their erotic competition with each other that they couldn’t see that 1+1=3.

          I got up and walked stupidly down the trail towards the cabin, still naked. The beauty sat up in shocked disappointment. Tawny came after me, wondering what was wrong. She tried stopping me to find out but I continued walking until we were far enough to be out of earshot of the other girls.

          “Robbie, what’s wrong?” She said, genuinely concerned.

          Quietly I spoke to her, keeping my back to the clearing.  “Tawny, I have to stop. Those girls could get pregnant if I do it any more. I’ll explain it to you later but I can’t put it inside any of the girls any more.”

          “Oh.” she said, then quickly made up her mind,  “Okay.”  She took my arm and led me back. There were concerned looks on the faces of all the girls as we entered the clearing. A few of them had started putting their clothes back on.

          “It’s okay, he just had to pee.”  She said, making me wonder how she planned on handling the issue.

          The beautiful 13 year old was lying back down and Tawny didn’t seem to be concerned. What was she cooking up?

          “Well, go on Robbie, ya big dork, git up inside her!” She said.

          The beauty was prone with her legs wide open again, holding her arms out to me greedily, her fear seemingly evaporated.  I glanced at Tawny as I slowly lowered myself down and she smiled her devious smile, which told me she had everything under control. So I raised her knees again, lined my hard penis up with her wet opening and...

          “Any of you girls that have a baby, don’t you say nothing bout me and Robbie or Joe, you just say you got it from some boy you didn’t know. Okay?”

          This started a flurry of discussion. The 13 year old thrust me off with her raised knees and scrambled to her feet. The sweet little 10 year old began crying, the other girls trying to console her to no affect. I got up and whispered to Tawny to explain to the young girl that she won’t get pregnant: That I didn’t get any inside her. Tawny whispered back to me saying that she knew that she (herself) had lots of sperm my inside her, what about that? I told her not to worry and that I would explain what we would do during the walk back to the cabin.

          The girl calmed down after Tawny had spoken with her, and she even smiled and laughed in relief eventually. The beautiful 13 year old was dressed and sprinting out of the clearing in record time, feeling she had just dodged a bullet. Tawny made some quick plans to see her new friend again and they talked excitedly about Tawny attending her school in the fall. On the trail back to the cabin we talked about everything I assured her I would get a ‘morning after’ pill.

          “Can you get more than one?” She asked.

          “I suppose.  I’m not sure how much they will cost, but I’ll see.”

          “Oh, they’re ‘spensive? Shoot.  I sure do love it when you squirt all up inside me. It feels.. it’s hard to explain, kinda like the sperm is what it’s all for. When I feels it, it means it’s all done, right and proper, and I can sleep like it’s sleepin medicine inside.  Feels different, lots better than the first time when you squirted all over me. I can still feels it. It’s coming out on my underwear.”

          “I’m sorry, I didn’t really mean to.” I said.

          “Shucks, I don’t mind. I likes it.

 

This ends book one of the story of Tawny Jenkins. Book two will detail the relationship between Rob and Grace and how he and Tawny manipulate her mother into allowing her daughter to be intimate with Rob, culminating in a threesome; The building of the lake and lodge and the glorious day when they moved in; The creation of a beach on the pristine shoreline and the antics of the woodland nymphs bathing, frolicking, and copulating there (Tawny being armed with modern pharmaceutical contraceptives for her friends). 

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