The gate clicked closed behind me and I started walking toward my sister’s car.  I took a deep breath.  The air where I was walking was the same air that was on the other side of the wall, but some how it smelled fresher and sweeter.  Marci gave me a hug and said:

“Before I take you home is there anything you want to do?  Any place in particular you want to go?”

“Yeah.  I guess there is.  I’d love to have a cold beer.”

“You got it.  Bud’s Bar do it for you?”

“You bet.”

As we drove away from the gray stone walls I thought back to what put me there.  It was a divorce.  It was a very, very nasty divorce; an event you would never have imagined on that beautiful July day when Amy walked down the aisle toward me on the arm of her father.

+++++++++++++++

Amy and I were a pair since the second grade.  There was no doubt in any ones mind that wouldn’t end up married.  We were forever.  It was a storybook romance that was supposed to have a fairytale ending – “and they lived happily ever after” – attached to it.  We agreed to wait until after we had graduated college to get married and we also agreed to hold off on having kids until we were thirty.  We wanted to go places and do things before we settled down.

It wasn’t all ‘pure story book’ of course.  Twice, once in eleventh grade and again in our sophomore year in college, Amy felt that she should know what other guys were like.  The period in high school only lasted three weeks.  Amy came back and said she was sorry and what she did was dumb.”

“I dated five guys and they were all assholes.  I had the best and I almost screwed it up.” 

I was so busy with classes and sports that I gave no thought to going out with other girls.

Both times it hurt, but when she did it again in college I got my back up and said to myself, “Okay!  You want to find out about other guys I’ll just go out and find out what other girls are like.”  I quickly found out that a lot of other girls were not as insistent as Amy that they walk down the aisles as virgins.

In a five week period Bev Holbrook relieved me of my virginity, Nancy Neubert introduced me to the joy of blow jobs and Harlena Collins introduced me to anal sex.  Pauline French taught me the proper way to eat pussy and then demonstrated how best to do ‘sixty-nine’ (woman on top according to her).  The only fly in the ointment was the thought in the back of my mind that Amy was receiving the same education.  It was ‘double standard’ thinking and I knew it, but I still felt that I should have been the first one to do those things with Amy.

One night, about six weeks after Amy went off to see what other guys were like I came home from class and found Amy sitting on the front porch steps.  It was a repeat of the high school episode.

“I had the best all along and didn’t realize it.  Forgive me?”

I loved her – had loved her damned near forever – so of course I forgave her.  We never spoke of what we had done while apart, but when I tried to ‘get sexual’ with her she told me she wanted to wait until we were married and I didn’t push it.  Still, it was no surprise to me when she didn’t turn out to be a virgin when we went to our marriage bed.  I didn’t mention it, but I could tell that she was aware that I knew I wasn’t her first.

+++++++++++++++++++

We both found good jobs in our chosen fields and the next four years were pretty good ones.  I had to travel some with my job, but it wasn’t all that often and the trips were never longer than three days. 

It was the day after her twenty-sixth birthday when Amy told me that she was pregnant.  I was surprised since we had agreed to wait until we were thirty to start our family.  She told me that according to her doctor the drugs she took when she had the flu had negated her birth control pills.  Nine months later Brian Louis joined us.

Amy was only off work six weeks.  The place she worked had a day care center in the building so she started back to work and took Brian with her.  Nine months later she said that now we had started the family she wanted to have the next one so the two would be close together and easier to raise.  I didn’t much care so I said okay and six weeks later she told me I was going to be a daddy again.

In her eighth month she said that she thought two kids were enough and would I mind if she had her tubes tied.  My attitude was that it was her body and if she didn’t want to spend nine months walking around pregnant who was I to say she had to.  A month later we were blessed with Susan Marie.  As with Brian Amy was only off work for six weeks and then she went back to work taking both babies with her.

++++++++++++++++++++

Over the next six years Amy and I were both promoted twice and we were making pretty good money between us.  We seemed to be the perfect couple.  We rarely argued over anything and we were still pretty active in the bedroom.  We were averaging three times a week which I was led to believe was pretty good when compared to other couple with children married the same length of time.  We had similar likes and dislikes, enjoyed going places and doing things with each other and were happy to see each other when we got home from work every day.

But the happy home life/loving couple thing was a lie as I found out one day in July.

I had flown to Denver to visit one of our suppliers and see if I could find out why they were having trouble making their delivery dates.  It was scheduled as a three day trip, but when I got there I found that the company had been seized earlier in the day by the IRS for non-payment of payroll taxes.  It turned out that the company had been in financial trouble for some time.

I turned around and headed back to the airport and caught the next flight home.  It never occurred to me to call Amy and let her know I was coming home early which was a good thing because if I had called I might never have found out what I did.

I got home at five-twenty and Amy wasn’t home from work yet.  I thought about starting dinner, but then decided to take Amy and the kids out for dinner.  I was in the room that we had set up to be a home office when I heard the garage door opener start to run and that told me that Amy was home.  By the time I went through all of the motions to save my work and then back out of the computer program I was in Amy was coming into the house.  I was just opening the office door when I heard Amy say, “Stop that!” and a man’s voice say:

 “You don’t want me to stop it and you know it.  Matter of fact I don’t even want to wait until we can get to the bedroom.  I think I want to do you over the back of your couch.”

“Jesus Hal; you have to be the horniest man I’ve ever known.”

“Yeah sweetie and you love it.”

“Well, it is kind of nice.  Over the back of the couch?  Do I get to take my panties off or are you just going to push them to the side?”

“Take them off.  I almost rubbed my dick raw the last time when I just pushed them aside.”

“We definitely don’t want to hurt your dick.”

There was a break in the conversation and then, “Oh yeah!  Oh God yes that feels so good” followed by, “You know what I love about you?  You are always soaking wet when I slide my cock into your sweet pussy.”

“That’s because thinking about your cock makes me start to drip.”

And then there was the sound of flesh smacking flesh along with all the moans and sounds from Amy that I was so familiar with.  Sounds that had me dying inside.  I took out my cell phone and set it for taking pictures and then headed toward the living room.  I knew who I was going to see when I walked in on them.  Hal was Amy’s supervisor at work and I’d met him and his wife at Amy’s company Christmas parties, picnics and other company social events.

Amy had no way of knowing that I was home.  I had dropped my car off at the dealership for a factory recall on the brakes on my way to the airport and it wouldn’t be ready until the next day so I had cabbed home from the airport.  They were going to be very surprised when I walked in on them.

I got five good pictures of them before they realized that I was in the room and I got three more as they frantically pulled apart.  I dropped my phone into my pocket and headed for Hal.  He read what I planned to do on my face and unfortunately, at least from my standpoint, I wasn’t between him and the door.  Fortunately, at least for him, he hadn’t taken off his pants to fuck Amy and instead had just unzipped, taken it out and shoved it in her.  Thus he was able to turn and race for the door before I could get to him.  I still might have gotten my hands on him, but as I went by Amy she stuck out her foot and tripped me.  By the time I regained my balance Hal was out the door and gone.

I turned and walked past Amy into the kitchen and got the phone book out of the cupboard where we kept it and paged through it until I came to Harold Bartram.  I picked up the phone and was punching numbers into it when Amy walked into the room and asked:

“What are you doing?”

“Calling Janet Bartram so I can share the news with her.”

Amy hurried over and pulled the phone cord out of the wall socket as she said:

“Don’t do that.  You will just cause problems.”

“You don’t think that we don’t already have problems?”

“I mean between Hal and Janet.”

“It is okay for Hal to fuck up my life, but I have to be careful to not fuck up his?”

“It isn’t that.  There is no need to hurt Janet.  She is an innocent party here.”

“I don’t see it that way.  She is married to a cheating asshole and she needs to know it.  If she accepts it fine, but starting now I intend to make his life a living hell.  I’ll start by telling Janet and offer to show her the pictures if she would like to see them.  Then I’m going to get a lawyer and go after him at work. I’m sure that you company has a Policy and Procedures Manual and I’ll bet there is something in there about a supervisor having  sexual relations with a subordinate and then I’m going looking for him and when I catch him I’m going to beat him half to death.”

“You don’t want to do any of that because it will cost you too much.”

“How do you see that?”

“You go to Janet and she kicks him out and I’ll kick you out and move him in here with me and our kids.  You file suit against our company and I’ll end up getting fired along with Hal and with no job that just means that I will rape you in the divorce and get huge alimony and child support.  You go find him and beat him up you will go to jail for assault.  The best thing for you to do is forget all that and we just get on with our lives.”

“You have to be kidding!  Get on with our lives after what I’ve just discovered?”

“Why not?  Hal and I have been getting together for a long time and it has never hurt us.  We have a good life.  I’ve been a great wife for you, we get along great and I do love you.”

“You can fuck that asshole and then tell me you love me?”

“Why not.  It is true.  All Hal is to me is sex.  Damned good sex, but just sex.” 

“Nothing like adding insult to injury.  I catch you cheating and you tell me I’m no good in the bedroom.”

“I didn’t say that you are no good in the bedroom.”

“Then why are you fucking other men?”

“I’m not fucking other men.  I’ve only been with Hal since we have been married.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Look honey, you are a great guy.  You are a great husband and father and you are okay in the bedroom, but Hal gives me something that you can’t.”

“Marvelous, simply marvelous.  I’m a great husband and father, but I’m only okay in the bedroom.  That is just so good to know.”

“I didn’t mean for it to sound that way.  There is nothing wrong with you in the bedroom.  We have a great sex life.”

“Not good enough apparently.”

“You are fine baby; I swear to you that you are just fine, but Hal offers me something I need that you just can’t give me.”

“Oh yeah?  And just what would that be?”

“Size.  Hal has eleven inches and those eleven inches do things for me that you just can’t do.  It shouldn’t matter honey.  We’ve had a perfect life right up until today.  There is no reason that we can’t continue to have a good life.”

“As long as I don’t mind you playing with eleven inches from time to time.”

“It hasn’t hurt us honey and it has been going on for years.  We will be okay; I promise.”

I just shook my head and said, “You are unreal Amy; just totally out of it if you think we can continue after what I saw.  But I do have to admit to some curiosity.  You say it has been going on for years.  Just how many years and how did it start?”

“It started before I met Hal.  It started when I was in college and we split up because I wanted to see what other guys might be like.  One of the first I hooked up with had ten inches and it drove me wild.  Apparently guys with big cocks share information and the guy with ten inches told some other guys about the girl who went wild over his big cock.  I went through five of them and loved every bit of what I got from them before I decided that you were the one I needed to be with.”

“That brings up two questions.  First, why didn’t you marry one of them if you were so hung up on big dicks?”

“Because they were all assholes.  They all seemed to think that a big cock was all that they needed and the girl should be grateful that they allowed her the experience.  I needed more than a stuffed feeling and I loved you so I walked away from them.”

“The second question is why, after you had given up your cherry to a big dicked asshole and fucked several of them for almost six weeks did you tell me we couldn’t have sex until we got married?”

“I loved you and I knew I loved you, but I was down on men in general after my experience with the five.  I just didn’t feel like having sex.  It wasn’t fair to you, but that was my thinking at the time.

“Things were fine until one of the company Christmas parties you couldn’t make because you were on a business trip.  To Seattle I think it was.  Anyway, I had a few more drinks than I should have and I was feeling a little playful when Hal danced me under the mistletoe and kissed me I felt his hard cock poking into my leg.  Like I said I was in a playful mood so I did a Mae West impression and said:

“Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just glad to be with me?”

“Hal said, and remember that he had been drinking also, that it was a lot bigger than a roll of quarters and I laughed and said, “That’s what all the guys say.”  He said they might say it, but he could prove it.  I laughed again and told him to prove it.  He did and I spent the next two nights with him.

“We hit it hot and heavy until he met and married Janet.  We still flirted with each other, but it wasn’t until Janet got pregnant and started saying no to sex that we started up again and then we just never quit.  Again honey, it hasn’t hurt us a bit.  I’ve got to run over to my sister’s and pick up the kids.”

“You even have your sister covering for you while you cheat on me?”

“Don’t be silly Rob.  She thinks I’m working late.  I asked her to watch the kids when they got out of school.  They went right from school to her house and now I have to go get them.  When I get back I’ll show you that nothing has changed.”

I stood there and stared at her in disbelief as she went out to get in her car.  Hadn’t hurt us?  Only because I never knew.  Going to show me that nothing has changed when she got home?  She expected me to take sloppy seconds after her coupling with Hal?  Not bloody fucking likely!  I plugged the phone back in and called Janet.  She was not pleased to hear what I had to say and she asked me when we could meet so she could see the pictures that I had taken and we made arrangements to meet for lunch the next day.  She asked me not to tell Amy that I had called because Amy would be sure to call Hal and let him know.

“I’m not going to do anything until I have the evidence and then I’ll confront him.”

I went upstairs and started moving my things out of the bedroom into the guest bedroom.  I was hanging my suits up in the closet when a very bad thought came to me.  When Amy said that she would kick me out she had said:

“He can move in here with me and our kids.”

It didn’t register when she said it, but thinking about it after the fact it sounded like she was saying the kids were hers and Hals.  Could it be?  I thought back to when she told me that she had started up with Hal.  My trip to Seattle had been about a year before she told me she was pregnant with Brian so Hal could very well be the father of my kids.  God help the both of them if I found out that he was.

I was just putting the last of my things away when Amy came home with the kids.  She came looking for me and when she found me setting up in the guest room she asked:

“What are you doing?”

“Putting space between us.”

“Why?  I told you that when I got back I’d show you that nothing has changed.”

“Have you forgotten what I witnessed two hours ago?  You expect me to take Hal’s sloppy seconds?”

“Oh for Christ’s sake rob; it has never hurt you before, but okay, I’ll take a shower first.”

“You just don’t get it do you.  I don’t want to have anything to do with your cheating ass.”

“You are being stupid over this Rob.  I don’t love Hal; I love you.  I have sex with Hal, but I make love with you.”

“You sure didn’t sound like you loved me when you told me you would kick me out and let Hal move in and I didn’t detect a whole lot of love when you were telling me how you were going to rape me in a divorce.”

“I didn’t mean it.  I just wanted to make you stop and think before calling Janet.”

“Well I did do some thinking Amy and that’s why I moved to this bedroom.”

“We are adults Rob and we can talk this out and get by it.  Nothing has changed.  I still love you.”

“Just not enough to keep from hanging horns on me.  Just leave me alone Amy.”

I left the room and went to see the kids.  I helped them with their homework and then played with them until their bedtime.  Once they were tucked in I went into my new bedroom and got ready for bed.  I heard the shower running as I turned out the light and thought back to what Amy had said.

“It has never hurt you before.”

God, what a stupid bitch!

I was just nodding off when the door opened and Amy came into the room.  She got into bed and I felt her naked body move against me as her hand took hold of my cock.  I quickly sat up and pushed her away from me so hard that she fell off the bed and onto the floor.

“What part of “I don’t want anything to do with your cheating ass” didn’t you understand?  Stay the fuck away from me Amy!”

“Damn it Rob; I love you.  We can work this out.  I know we can.”

“No we can’t Amy.  Not a fucking prayer!  Now get the fuck out of here.”

She got up off the floor and left the room and I tried to go to sleep.

+++++++++++++++++++

I had a rotten night and was a bit groggy when I got up in the morning.  Amy was up and had breakfast ready, but I just walked past her, got my car keys off of the pegboard and left the house.  I had breakfast at a Village Inn and then went into work.

At ten I called Mike Hooper, a good friend who was also an attorney and told him my sad story and then asked if I could make an appointment to see him and talk divorce.  He told me he would meet me at Bud’s Bar at five-thirty.  I plugged my cell phone into my computer and transferred al the photos I had taken of Amy and Bartram and then I printed three sets and put them in envelopes.

At noon I arrived at Mario’s and saw that Janet was already there.  She rose to meet me and I kissed her cheek and said, “I wish we were meeting under happier circumstances.”  We made small talk until after we ordered and then I described what happened the previous day.  I passed her an envelope with the photos I’d taken and she took them out and looked at them.  I was surprised at how calm she was as she went over them.  She slid them back into the envelope and said:

“What are you going to do?”

“Divorce her.”

“No chance of fixing things?”

“Not after seeing it with my own eyes.”

“Well I guess I’m going to have to do the same.  This is not the first time his large penis has gotten him in trouble.  The last time it happened I forgave him, but did tell him if it happened again he would be history.”

“You may not get the chance to kick him out.  I’m going to be looking for him and when I find him I’m going to beat him half to death.  He could end up in a hospital.  You could take all of his stuff and stack it up in his hospital room.”

“If you do catch him kick him a couple of times in the balls for me.”

I told her I would and then we got up and left.

My meeting with Mike only confirmed what I already knew.  We lived in a no fault state so everything would be split fifty-fifty.  Amy would get the kids and I would end up paying child support, but since our incomes were pretty much equal I wouldn’t have to pay alimony, or ‘separate maintenance as it was called in our state.  I told him I was concerned that the kids were not mine and he told me to have a DNA test done.  I gave him two sets of the photos and told him I wanted Bartram sued for alienation of affections and the company where they both worked sued for not enforcing their CP&P where it said that there could be no fraternization between supervisors and their subordinates.

“Are you sure you want to do that?  It could cost Amy her job and then you would more than likely end up paying separate maintenance.”

“I don’t care Mike.  Just do it.”

We discussed a few other things and he cautioned me against moving out of the house and giving her possession.  I couldn’t throw her out because of the kids so I should just do my best to co-exist until the situation regarding the divorce firmed up and the court gave directions.  Let the courts decide who stayed and who went.

“But be aware that the courts in this state almost always side with the wife if there are children in the equation.  You are in for a rough ride bud.  Are you sure that you and Amy can’t work things out?”

“Just look at the pictures. They don’t have the sounds that I heard when I watched the two of them, but the visual and the sound are burned into my brain so no, there is no chance that we will be getting back together and working things out.  Just get the ball rolling and serve her as soon as you can.  Have her and Hal served at work if you can arrange it.”

++++++++++++++++++

Amy was not smiling when I got home.

“You just had to do it.  We could have worked things out and gotten by it, but you just had to go and tell Janet.  She kicked him out of the house and all because of you.”

“Not because of me Amy; because of what you and he were doing.  And I’m sorry that she kicked him out.  It will just make it that much harder to find him and when I do I can promise you that that huge cock you are so in love with isn’t going to be working at that well for a while.”

“Just remember that I warned you Rob.”

That night I got up at three while everyone else in the house was sleeping and using Q-Tips I swabbed the cheeks of my sleeping children.  I dropped the swabs off at a local lab on my way to work and offered to pay extra if there was anyway that the tests could be expedited.

Something in the way that Amy had said, “Just remember that I warned you Rob” got to me and I was at the bank when the doors to the lobby opened at nine.  I cleaned out all of the accounts and the safe deposit box and went down the street t another bank and opened an account in my name only.  I’d have to account for it later on in the divorce, but at least I would have the funds to make the house payments and take care of the kids.

Back at the office I had another thought and I called up and cancelled all of our joint credit cards so Amy couldn’t run up the balances getting cash advances.

It was a good thing that I’d done all of that because when I got home that night a man walked up to me, handed me an envelope and said:

“You are served and I would suggest you move at least five hundred feet from this house because there is a temporary restraining order in that envelope.”

I opened the envelope and there was indeed a restraining order saying that I couldn’t come within five hundred feet of the house, Amy or the kids.  Her attorney obviously worked a hell of a lot faster than Mike, but I guess in his defense he didn’t know that speed was required and for that matter neither had I.  I looked up at the house and saw Amy standing there smirking at me.

I backed the car out of the drive and drove down to the corner and called Mike on his cell.  I brought him up to date and asked how I could go about getting into the house to get my things and he told me he had some friends in the sheriff’s department and he would see what he could do and call me back.  While I had him on the phone I told him to change the divorce from irreconcilable differences to adultery and to go after Bartram and Amy’s and Bartram’s company with a vengeance.

“Burn them Mike; burn them bad.”

He called me back in fifteen and told me that two deputies would be there within a half an hour and would see to it that I gained access to the house, but that until he could get to someone from the court to make further arrangements all I would be able to remove from the house would be my clothes and toilet articles.

Twenty minutes later two patrol cars pulled up in front of the house and I started up my car and drove and parked behind them  The introduced themselves and told me to stay where  I was until they called me and then they walked up to the house and rang the bell.  Amy answered and after a moment of talking the deputies waved me forward.  They cautioned me that I could only take clothes and my toiletries and then I followed them into the house.

As I was walking toward the stairs I glanced into the kitchen to see if the kids were there.  They weren’t, but Hal was.  He was sitting at the kitchen table with a beer in front of him.  A beer that I had bought and paid for.  It was all I could do to keep myself from going after him, but it would have been stupid with two deputies’ right there.

Amy followed us upstairs and stood in the doorway and watched me pack.  It was childish of me, but I couldn’t resist so I lied and said without looking her way:

“You blew it Amy.  You really fucked up this time.  I spent most of the day at the office thinking about us and I finally decided that we could sit down and work things out.  After all you did swear that you loved me.  Some love Amy.  Mental cruelty?  A restraining order?  No chance for us now Amy.  Think about that after I leave.  We were hours away from staying together, but you fucked it up and Hal sitting in the kitchen drinking my beer put the nail in it.”

I closed the suitcase, turned and walked out of the house.

The next day Amy called me at work.  “In light of what you said at the house last night I’d like to sit down and talk with you.”

“Not a chance in hell Amy.  What you did to me yesterday plus Hal sitting in the house you locked me out of put an end to it and killed any chance for us.  Besides I can’t sit down and talk with you.  You set it up so I can’t come within five hundred feet of you, remember?  Goodbye Amy.’

Two days later I was back at the house with two people from the court who would supervise the removal of my things from the house.  The entire time I was there Amy kept after me to sit down and talk with her, but I ignored her right up until I was taking the last load out to the U-Haul.  We were in the bedroom and she was babbling that we could work things out if I would just talk with her.  I motioned her over and when she came I pointed into the master bedroom bath area.  She saw what I was pointing at and her face fell.  On the counter were a man’s toiletries and they weren’t mine.  I didn’t use Old Spice or Mennen Speed Stick.

“Goodbye Amy.  Just remember that what is coming you brought on yourself and it could have been avoided.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Things moved quickly after that.  Amy was served at work with papers counter-suing her on the grounds of adultery.  Hal was served, also at work, with papers suing him for alienation of affections.  Their employer was sued for not enforcing the portion of their policies and procedures manual pertaining to relationships between supervisors and subordinates the result being the dissolution of my marriage.

Three days later both Hal and Amy were fired.  Hal, being Amy’s supervisor, was screwed, but Amy fought her termination claiming that Hal threatened to cost her her job if she didn’t give in to him.  The company didn’t buy it and upheld her termination so Amy got her lawyer to sue them for wrongful termination.  She and Hal must have agreed that Amy’s claiming what she did was the way to go because while all of it was going on they were still living in our house.

Three weeks after having me served we had the hearing on extending the temporary restraining order and the judge denied it and chastised Amy’s lawyer for even filing it.  A week later we had the preliminary hearing on the divorce.  Mike warned me that things were not going to go in my favor.

“They will almost certainly give Amy temporary custody of the children and full use of the house until the terms of the divorce can be worked out and you will be required to keep up the house payments and pay the utilities.  You will also likely be hit with temporary alimony and child support.  Her attorney is also pressing to get the money you took out of the accounts and I’m sure that the judge will bring that up.”

I handed him an envelope and said, “This might have an effect on the child support issue.”

He opened it, read what was inside and said, “Shit Rob; I’m so sorry for you.  Any idea who the real father is?”

“I’d bet Amy’s life that they are Hal’s.”

“It may have no effect on this hearing because it is just a preliminary hearing and Child Protection Services is going to want to verify the authenticity of the documents, but it will definitely affect the final decree.”

“Will I get a chance to talk?”

“Yes, but I’d be very careful about what I’d say if I were you.”

It went pretty much as Mike had said it would.  Amy was given the house, the kids and temporary alimony.  I was ordered to pay Amy half of what I’d removed from checking and savings, but somehow the five certificates of deposit got overlooked and I sure didn’t mention them.  Amy’s attorney tried to get the judge to order me to pay his fees, but Mike objected.

“This is not a case of my client suing for divorce and his wife having to respond.  In this case she sued my client and he only responded.  Since his wife initiated the action she should be responsible for her own legal costs.”

The judge found for us on that one and it brought a bit of a smile to my face.  When the judge, following the advice of Child Protective Services set the child support Mike objected and presented the DNA test document showing that I was not the biological father of the kids.  I was ordered to pay temporary child support pending CPS’s verifying the document.

“If in fact the documents prove to be true any support you will have paid will be deducted from your wife’s share of the distribution.”

I was watching Amy when Mike brought up the paternity of the kids and she didn’t register any surprise.  The bitch knew all along.  When it came to the end the judge asked me if I fully understood the orders of the court.

“I understand what you said, but I don’t understand why.  Why is my adulteress wife being allowed the custody of the children?  Surely it is not beneficial to them to be living with a women who moved her lover into the house the very day she sued me for divorce.  What kind of an example does that set for them?  We haven’t even been separate for six weeks and she already has another man in her bed.  Also, why should I have to maintain a house just so the man my whore of a wife cheated on me with has a roof over his head?”

All the judge did was order the CPS to investigate my claims and submit a report to him within ten days.  As we were leaving the courtroom Amy moved close to me and said:

“How could you do that to your children?”

“They aren’t mine Amy and I saw your face when Mike brought up the DNA issue.  No surprise on your face Amy.  No surprise at all.  You’ve known it all the time.  Just one more thing that I owe you for.”

“Yeah right, whatever; just make sure that I have the money tomorrow” and she walked away.

She didn’t know it, but she could suck eggs as far as getting a dime of that money was concerned.  At least anytime soon.  I figured that I could stretch it out for weeks before they hauled me into court and threatened me with contempt of court if I didn’t pay.  Even then I could probably hold off another week or two.

++++++++++++++++++++++

The day after the hearing Mike called me and told me that Amy’s ex employer had offered a settlement.

“It is a little on the low side and I think we can do better.”

“I’ll leave it up to you since you are the expert in these things although to be honest the only reason I sued them to begin with was to fuck over Amy and Bartram.  I was satisfied that they got canned.”

“While we are on the subject you know we won’t get anything out of Bartram especially since he is out of work and what little he can come up with will go to his wife for child support and alimony.”

“No matter.  Keep on it and force him to have to pay an attorney.  If we win we can get a judgment against him and it will always be hanging over him like a big black cloud.”

Mike’s mention of Hal having to pay alimony reminded me that I hadn’t talked to Janet in a while. I gave her a call and asked how things were going.

“Not well.  Things are a little tight with Hal not working and not paying what the court ordered him to pay.  Luckily I emptied out the bank accounts before kicking him out.”

“I hate to tell you this, but things are likely to get worse.  It turns out that both of my kids share Hal as a biological father and he is very likely going to have to pay Amy child support by the time my divorce is final.  Or maybe not since they are living together.”

“They are?  I didn’t know that.”

“How are you coming with your suit against Hal’s old company?”

“I don’t have a suit against them.  Why would I?”

I explained it to her and she thanked me for the information and said she would have her attorney look into it.  Then I said:

“If I can be of any help just let me know.”

“I hope you aren’t suggesting what I think you are.”

“What would that be?”

“Just because Hal screwed your wife doesn’t mean that I’ll do you to get even.”

“That is a rotten thing to think or say.  Sorry to have bothered you” and I hung up on her.

What she had said at the end of the call left a bad taste in my mouth and put me in a foul mood and I stayed in that mood all day.  By the time I got off work I wanted to hurt someone and I decided that it was time to settle up with Hal.  Working on the assumption that since he was out of work he would be looking for a job I arranged to take the next day off work and at six in the morning I was parked up the street from the house.

The kids left for school at seven-twenty and at eight I saw Hal’s Chevy Blazer back out of my garage and head off down the street.  I followed him to a downtown parking garage.  I parked three spaces down from him, got out of my car and ducked down.  I was between him and the elevator and when he got to where I was crouching I stood up and said:

“Good morning Hal. At least it is for me, but I’m not so sure that it will be for you.”

He turned and tried to run, but I grabbed him, spun him around and slammed him into one of the concrete support pillars and then I proceeded to beat the living shit out of him.  I ended things with six very hard kicks to his crotch and then I left him laying on the concrete floor whimpering.  It came as no surprise when the next day at work two cops showed up and arrested me for assault and battery.

I sat in jail overnight and was taken in front of a judge the next day.  The charges were read and I was asked how I pled and I said:

“Not guilty.”

“Are you sure that you want to plead not guilty?  Mr. Bartram is quite positive that you were his assailant.”

“Oh I stomped his ass sure enough, but I’m not guilty of assault and battery.”

“No?  What would you call it then?”

“Seeing to it that justice was done.”

“I don’t understand your thinking.”

“He screwed my wife behind my back for years.  He fathered the two children that he and my whore of an about to be ex-wife led me to believe were mine and he had to pay for it.”

“That may be, but in this state here is no law against adultery.”

“And that is why I had to seek justice on my own.”

“The law…”

“I don’t care about the law.  The legal systems sucks when it comes to cases like mine.  My wife cheats on me for years and sticks me with her lover’s kids and what do the courts do?  They reward her.  She gets the home and I’m ordered to pay for it and its upkeep and while I’m doing it she moves her lover in and I end up paying for him to have a roof over his head.  I have to pay her cheating ass alimony and when the divorce becomes final she will get half of everything,  She cheats and the courts reward her and the wronged party – me! – gets it broke off in him by the same legal system that you are touting.  If the law won’t do right by me then I have to do it myself.”

“You still broke the law and by your own admission you acknowledge that.”

“No I am not.  I am admitting to seeking the justice that I am owed.  I’m perfectly willing to let a jury hear my story and decide.”

“You may be willing, but I have no intension of allowing the courts resources to be wasted on trying the case.  You have admitted in open court that you, as you put it, “Stomped his ass” so I have no choice but to find you guilty and sentence you to six months in the county facility at Fairmont.”

“Thank you.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You just helped me get some justice where my wife is concerned.  For six months she will receive no alimony or child support. The house payment won’t be made by me and since she was fired from her job she has no money and won’t be able to make a house payment.  The house will go into foreclosure and she and her lover will be kicked out onto the street.  And that six months in jail means that I’ll lose my job so she won’t be able to get any money from me when I get out, so yes, thank you.”

“You would throw away the equity in your house?”

“What equity?  We took out a second to put in central air conditioning and a swimming pool,  If we sold it we would get enough out of it to cover costs and commissions with may a couple of thousand to split between us.  I’d rather see that she loses even that much.  I wouldn’t get anything out of it anyway.  By the time I get out of jail I’ll owe her six months of back alimony and I’m sure that this wonderful legal system of yours would see to it that my share of the proceeds would be seized and given to her to cover the arrearage.”

The judge just shook his head.

+++++++++++++++++++++

I spent four months in the county jail.  Mike came to visit me once a week and on his third visit he said he had an offer from Amy’s old company that he thought we should take so I told him to take it.

“Cash the check as soon as you get it and put the money somewhere where Amy can’t get to it.”

At the end of my first month I had a surprise visitor.  Amy came down to see me.  When you are in jail they don’t let just anyone visit you.  You have to give them a list of people you are willing to see and if anyone not on that list comes to see you they come to you and ask you if you want to see that person.  Amy was not on my list, but curiosity made me agree to see her.

I took a seat the seat across from her with the visiting room partition between us and Amy smiled and said:

“Orange is not your color.”

“My wardrobe in here is somewhat limited.  What do you want Amy?”

“I want you to arrange for me to get some money.  The house payment is due and the utility bills need to be covered.  I haven’t had much luck in finding a job and things are getting tight.  It is a struggle to put food on the table for the kids.”

“So?  If your asshole lover had taken his beating as his just due for fucking my wife instead of filing charges against me I wouldn’t be in here and your money worried wouldn’t be so bad.  But he did put me in here so take your money problems to him.  As far as food on the table for the kids goes?  They are his kids; let him feed them.”

“How can you say that?  True, he was the sperm donor, but you are their dad.  You are the only father they have ever known.  They don’t know anything about Hal.”

“They know that he is in our house and that you are fucking him while, by the way, you are still married to me.”

“What I’m saying is that you are their father Rob.  You have been there for them since day one and you loved them to death right up to finding out about Hal and me.  You can’t just turn that love off Rob.  They did nothing to hurt you.  Hate me, but don’t take out what I did on them.”

“The problem Amy is that if I give you money for food it won’t be just the kids eating that food.  I’d be feeding you and Bartram as well.  I’ve loved you too long to ever raise my hand against you and do what I did to Bartram, but it won’t bother me at all to watch the both of you starve.”

“You don’t care that we will lose the house if you don’t help?”

“You mean the house you locked me out of?  The house you fucked your lover in whenever you could?  That house means nothing to me since you moved Bartram into it.  You need to look harder for work Amy and you need to push Bartram to step up since he is now the head of your household.”

“He is having trouble finding work and what little he does come up with Janet manages to get.”

“Well at least he has that big cock that you are so in love with so things aren’t a total loss for you.”

“That’s a laugh Rob.  It hasn’t worked all that well since you worked him over.”

“Gee Amy, I’m so, so sorry I messed up your life.  What is it they always say?  Life’s a bitch?”

I got up and walked away.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My only other regular visitor was my sister Megan.  She came once a week and on one of her visits, about three weeks after Amy’s, she told me that Amy had called her and had asked her to intercede and try to get me to give her some money.

“She swears she will only use it for the kids.  I think you ought to do it Rob.”

“I don’t want to see the kids suffer, but my plan is to go for full custody when I get out and my only hook is to be able to show that she can’t take care of them properly and that she is setting a bad example for them by living in sin with Bartram. If she and their asshole of a biological father can’t even feed them the courts will have to give me a look.  The fact that I want them even though Bartram is their sperm donor should show how much I care for them.  If I give her any help it will defeat my purpose.

“Besides, I don’t care what she says because I don’t trust her.  She stabbed me in the back with a smile on her face for over six years so there is no way I’ll ever believe a word she says.”

“Are you going to get upset with me if I help them?”

“I’m in jail Megan; I can’t stop you from doing anything you want to do.”

Megan did help them, but not with money.  She bought the kids some clothes and maybe once a week she took some groceries over to them.  From Megan I found out that Amy had finally managed to find a decent paying job and I also found from her that things were not going all that well in the household.  It seems that since Bartram couldn’t find a job ‘worthy’ of him he stopped looking altogether.  There were jobs out there, but apparently they were beneath him or didn’t pay enough to suit him.  From visits with the kids Megan found out that Bartram and Amy argued a lot about his sitting around the house on his butt all day.  I got a huge smile out of that.

In my third month I received another surprise visitor.  Janet showed up on visiting day.  Since she wasn’t on my list of visitors they asked me if I was willing to see her.  As with Amy curiosity got me to say yes.  I remembered our last conversation and wondered why she wanted to see me.

There was a touch of déjà vu when I sat down across from her and she said:

“Orange is so not your color.”

“I’ve been told that.  What brings you here?”

“Guilt.”

“Guilt?  What are you guilty of?”

“Treating you shabbily.”

“Oh?  When was that?”

“The last time we talked on the phone.  I was in a rotten mood and down on men in general, but that was still no reason for me to say what I said to you and I apologize for it.”

“Well I do admit that it pissed me off, but no real harm done.”

“Also I wanted to thank you for one small pleasure that you gave me.”

“I gave you a small pleasure?”

“You didn’t know it. But you did.  One of my sorority sisters from college is a nurse at our doctor’s office and Hal still goes to that doctor.  Marsha tells me that Hal has been in several times to talk to Dr. Marlin about erectile problems he is having.  It seems that you did a number on his genitals and he is having a hard time getting it up and keeping it up.  It does my heart good to know that he can’t use the thing he used to cheat on me with.  You might find some pleasure in knowing that your wife isn’t getting any pleasure out of what she cheated on you for.”

“It does.  Oh yes indeed it does.”

We talked a little more before she left and she made me promise to call her when I got out.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

I spent four months in the county jail and was released early when over crowding became a problem.  I qualified because I had already served two thirds of my sentence and even thought I was in for assault which was a violent crime I was not considered a danger to society.

Mike was waiting for me to give me a ride when I was released.  He drove me to a motel that had weekly rates and I took a room until I could find me an apartment.  On the drive he brought me up to date on things.

“Amy isn’t fighting the divorce, but she is going to fight for custody of the kids, alimony and she is even going to try for child support even though I don’t believe she has a chance in hell of getting it.  Now that you are out I’ll petition for a hearing and after that it will just be a matter of time.  Have you decided what you are going to do with the settlement check you got from Amy’s employer?”

“Just put it somewhere out of Amy’s reach until the divorce is final.”

“Now that you are out you can expect to be dragged back into court over the funds you were ordered to pay Amy.”

“No biggie.  My excuse will be that I couldn’t very well get the money for her while I was locked up.”

“They will say that you could have made arrangements.”

“And let the bitch know where I bank?  No fucking way.  She would find a way to get at all of what was there and given the way courts in this state bend over backwards for women they would probably help her.  The whore stabbed me in the back and lied to me for years.  No way would I trust her not to fuck me if she could.”

The next morning I swung by work and asked Frank if he had any openings and he told me to get my ass to work and not bother him with stupid questions.  That afternoon I called Amy and told her that I wanted to see the kids and she laughed at me.

“When I see some money you can see the kids.”

I hung up on her and called Child Protection Services.  I told them that I wanted to see the kids and Amy refused to let me.  I was informed that was her right.  If she didn’t want me seeing them she could refuse.

“We checked out your documentation and it was correct.  You are not the paternal parent and she is the maternal parent so she is in control.  Your visitation rights, if any, will have to be decided by the courts.”

“So I’m not required to pay child support?”

“That is also something to be decided by the court.  You are currently under a court order to pay support so you will need to go to court to get that order lifted.”

“I guess that I can take it from your attitude that my chance of getting custody of them is unlikely?”

“I am not at liberty to discuss what our recommendations to the court might be.”

I thanked her for her time and hung up.  I called Amy back and told her I would be over to see the kids at seven and I’d have money with me.

“I’m not leaving you alone with them.  I’ll be there during your entire visit.”

I hit the bank and got five hundred and put it in an envelope.  I rang the doorbell at exactly seven and Amy opened the door.  I handed her the envelope and she opened it, saw the cash and stepped aside to let me come in.

I almost lost it when I walked into the living room and saw Bartram sitting there.  I don’t know what my face showed, but whatever it was he took one look and got up and hurriedly left the room.  Brian and Susan were sitting on the couch looking at me.  I hadn’t seen them in over four months and I had expected that they would get up and come running to me yelling “Daddy, daddy” but they just sat there and then Susan said the words that eventually put me in prison.

“Why did you hurt our father?”

“I thought I was your father.”

“Mommy told us that you aren’t and that Daddy Hal is our father.”

I looked at Amy and saw her smirking at me.  I turned away from the kids and headed for the door.  Amy laughed and said, “Hurry back.”  As I passed her I snatched the envelope out of her hand and snarled:

“Eat shit and die you worthless cunt!”

+++++++++++++++++++

After that things moved quickly.  I was hauled into court and ordered to pay Amy what the courts had originally ordered plus back alimony and child support.  I told the judge I’d die before I gave the cheating whore a dime.  He told me to do it or he would hold me in contempt of court and I told him that was the first time that he was right that day.  His gavel fell and he said:

“Five hundred dollars or thirty days.”

I took the thirty.  On the twenty-ninth day I was taken back in front of the judge and he asked me if I had reconsidered my position and I said:

“Somewhat.”

“Would you care to explain that?”

“I refuse to pay child support and back child support on kids that even the court knows aren’t mine and CPS can back me up on the fact that I’m not the children’s father.  As far as alimony goes I’m willing to pay that, but I absolutely refuse to make house payments as long as the woman that I’m still unfortunately married to has her lover living in the house with her.  I will not pay to have a roof over that man’s head.  Move him out and keep him out and I’ll make the house payments.”

“You are saying that CPS knows that you are not the father of the children?”

“They do.”

“I will continue this hearing until tomorrow and until I can check out your statement with CPS.”

As I was led out of the court room I saw the look on Amy’s face.  She knew that the child support ruling was going to go in my favor and she was pissed.  She was so sure that she was going to be able to stick it to me again.

I was back in court the next morning, but the outcome was less than satisfying.  The CPS investigation report showed that I was not the father of the children and that Hal was indeed living with Amy.  The judge threw out the child support and reduced Amy’s alimony by a third (which he made retroactive) but I was still ordered to pay the arrearage and the house payments.  Then he surprised everyone, especially Amy, when he said that:

“In as much as Mrs. Ludke has taken in a boarder she can be responsible for all the utilities and the insurance on the house.”

Until that moment I had been prepared to say “Fuck you” and take another thirty days, but I suddenly decided to pay up.  My thinking on it was a little on the weird side.  Amy would be pissed at what the judge had done, but seeing me go back to jail would cheer her up and I decided that I needed to deny her that.  On the other hand knowing that she would be getting some money out of me would cheer her up some, but my paying a third less than what she expected (on top of no child support) and smirk I would give her as we left the court would lessen that cheer.

The judge ordered that the funds be in the hands of the court within forty-eight hours or he would issue a bench warrant for my arrest.  The smile and smirk that I gave Amy as I left the courtroom seemed to piss her off and that made my day.

I was taken back to the jail and out-processed and then I headed for a restaurant for a decent meal.  After eating I stopped by my sisters to pick up my belongings that she had retrieved from my motel when I went to jail.  We talked for a while and I brought up the way Amy had brain washed the children.  Megan told me not to take it to heart. 

“They are just kids and since you weren’t around the only one talking to them was Amy.  Young kids are impressionable.  You will get a chance to talk to them.”

But I never did.

At the final decree hearing I was rocked back on my heels.  Amy was given full custody and I was not even given visitation rights.  The CPS report stated that the mother and the biological father of the children felt that I would be too much of a disruption in their lives and since the biological father was going to marry the mother and create a family unit the children’s interests would be best served by not having me in their lives.

Then the judge ordered that Amy be given the use of the family home until the children turned eighteen at which time the house could be sold and the proceeds split between us.  There was a stipulation added that if Amy married the home could be sold.  The reduced alimony was left in place and I was required to pay it for three years or until Amy remarried whichever came first.  I was livid when I left the courtroom and as I passed by Amy she smiled at me and gave me the finger.

I stewed over it for about a week and finally I snapped and began making plans.  I’ll freely admit that I wasn’t thinking clearly, but I’d been fucked over enough by Amy and I just lost it.  I cancelled the home owners insurance and began watching the house waiting for my opportunity.  Four days after I cancelled the insurance I got a phone call from Amy.

“The mortgage company called and said you cancelled the insurance.”

“I did.  You have hosed me so badly that I am trying to find ways to cut my expenses.  I can get a better rate on the same coverage from Allstate.”

“The mortgage company said they need a policy on the house within five days or they will obtain a policy and bill you for it.  The woman I talked to said it would be to our benefit to get the policy in place since the insurance company that they use tends to be quite pricey.”

“I’m on it.”

Two days after that phone call I got the opportunity that I had been waiting for.  Amy left for work a half hour after the kids left for school and at eight-thirty Bartram came out of the garage in his Blazer and drove off.  As soon as he was out of sight I drove up the garage door and hit the button on the garage door opener.  Surprise, surprise, it worked.  I drove into the garage and closed the door behind me.  Taking both of the five gallon cans of gasoline out of the trunk of the car I went into the house.  I doused the inside of the house real good and then I backed my car out of the garage.  I went back into the house and set it on fire.  I drove to the airport and parked my car in long term parking and caught a flight to Panama City.

 I spent a month lying in the sun and chasing girls.  I even caught some of them.  My last day in Panama City I stopped at a bank and rented a safe deposit box and paid for it ten years in advance.  I had cleaned out all of my accounts before leaving for Florida and I put the money into the deposit box.  I knew that I would likely be doing some time for what I’d done, but I didn’t care because I’d fucked Amy royally.  She would have lost everything in the fire and there was no insurance to replace any of it.  She would probably come after me to get it, but she couldn’t get a dime out of me if I was locked up and even when I was released she would play hell getting even one penny out of me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

When I got back to town I stopped in at the shop to pick up some of my personal things that I’d left there and while there I apologized to Frank for leaving him in the lurch.  He told me that he understood since he had gone through a pretty bitter divorce himself.  Then he asked me if I had it all out of my system and was ready to come back to work.  I had to tell him no, that I’d probably be going to jail for a while.  He asked why and I told him.  He laughed and said he wished he had the balls to do something like that to his ex.

I called Mike and invited him to lunch.  He met me at Mario’s and when he sat down he said:

“You have really stepped into it this time.  Everybody wants a piece of your ass.  You would have been better off staying wherever it was that you were.  The judge took what you did as contempt of court since he had ordered you to maintain the house.  The DA wants you for a bunch of charges ranging from arson to destruction of private property.  Amy wants you nailed to a telephone pole so she can come by two or three times a day and use a bullwhip on you.  However you will probably be pleased to know that as soon as Amy couldn’t keep a roof over his head Hal split.”

“How can they make arson stick?  It was my house and I didn’t defraud the insurance company.  In fact I cancelled the insurance so they wouldn’t get stuck for anything.  The mortgage company is probably pissed because they don’t have any collateral on the loan, but I’m still liable for the loan and I sent them this month’s payment just last week.  As long as I make the payments they have no bitch coming.  It was my house.  I could do with it what I wanted.”

“In your mind maybe, but I can assure you that the court will not see it that way.”

He was right of course and after a month of dicking around I worked out a plea agreement that saw me in the state correctional facility at Albian serving three years.  After serving half your sentence you became eligible for parole and when it was offered to me I turned it down.  I didn’t want to put myself under the control of the legal system that I’d come to hate and have to go through the “Do this or I’ll have to send you back” or “You can’t do that or you will be violating your parole.

I was out in two and a half with time off for good behavior.

While in I had regular visits from Mike, my sister and even Frank who kept making me promise to come and see him when I got out.  Janet even came to see me a couple of times and made me promise to call her when I was free.  Also while I was in I managed to file for bankruptcy and was able to dump all the judgments against me except for the one from the IRS.  It seems that my claiming the interest on the house when I filed my taxes (Yes boys and girls – even in prison the IRS requires you to file if you had any income for that year) violated one of their rules since the house didn’t actually exist any more.

++++++++++++++++++++

As Megan and I sat at the table in Bud’s Bar and I drank a cold PBR Megan asked me what was next.

“Go see Frank and get back to work.  Find an apartment and see what I can do to start having some kind of social life.”

“You going to see the kids?”

“Probably not.  Amy did a pretty good job of brain washing them and seeing them would involve seeing Amy and my automatic reflex would be to wrap my fingers around her throat and squeeze.”

“She doesn’t want to see you either.  He still wants to cut your head off for burning up everything she owned, but she has changed in the last couple of years.  She is really sorry for the way things turned out.  She really thought she could have her cake and eat it too.  She swears she loved you and Hal was only sex and you were never supposed to find out about him.  Anyway, she has indicated that she wouldn’t be against your having a relationship with Brian and Susan.”

“Well isn’t that big of her especially after telling them that I wasn’t really their father.”

“Give her some slack Rob.  What she was doing is what you were doing.  You were both acting out of spite and the kids were caught in the middle.  They have spent several weekends with me and I can tell you that they miss you.  You need to reconnect with them.”

“I don’t want to see Amy.  If you can arrange with her to pick them up and take them to your place we can see how it goes.”

I stopped in and saw Frank and he told me I could start back whenever I was ready and I told him to give me a week to get used to being out.  I flew down to Panama City and got my money out of the safe deposit box and flew back home.  I settled up with the IRS, found an apartment and called Janet and asked her out to dinner.

+++++++++++++++++

EPILOG +++

I did reconnect with my kids and I started seeing them every other weekend.  Janet and I dated several times, but it was obvious that all we were ever going to be was friends.

I did find a girlfriend and it looks like I will be saying “I do” in the not too distant future.  She has to be a great person to be willing to saddle herself with two kids just to be with me.

Yes, I have the kids now.   Amy found a guy and got married, but two years into the marriage he came home early and caught Amy in bed with another guy.  Unfortunately for Amy and her lover her husband wasn’t one to grab a cell phone and take pictures like I did.  Hubby grabbed a gun and killed them both.  We don’t have capital punishment in our state so he got twenty to life.  I send him a carton of cigarettes every month along with a thank you card.

With Amy gone I petitioned the court for custody and it was granted and now they are living with me.

I guess what they say is true.  All is well that ends well.  At least for some of us.