It all began on a Saturday afternoon when I came home from playing golf with three of my girlfriends.  I guess I must have been fairly quiet when I walked into the house because Ben didn’t know I was there until I walked up to the spare bedroom that he had turned into an office and den.  I saw him give a start when he heard the word “What” when I started to ask him:

“What would you like for dinner?”

When he heard my voice he quickly cleared the screen on the computer, turned and said:

“It doesn’t matter to me.  Whatever you decide.”

“That ones easy then.  I have decided that we will go out for dinner.  I suddenly have a taste for the barbecued ribs at Luther’s. I’m all sweaty so I’m going to take a shower.”

As I headed for the master bedroom I wondered what it was that Ben had so quickly cleared on the computer so I wouldn’t see it.

By the time I was showered, dried and dressed Ben had gone outside and I knew from the sound of the lawnmower that he was in the back yard.  I went into the den, found the computer in standby mode and brought it up.  I checked the history and saw that the last site visited was something called “slutwives.com.”  There were several others with names like “cuckoldsunlimited.net”, “hotwives.com” and “desperatewives.com.” 

I got a pen and a piece of paper out of the desk drawer and wrote down all the addresses so I could check them later when Ben wasn’t around.  Curiosity had a grip on me and I wanted to take a look at whatever it was that Ben didn’t want me to see.  I was just closing the desk drawer when I heard the lawnmower stop.  I tucked the list in my pocket and went downstairs.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sunday morning Ben left the house at seven for the golf course where he had a seven-forty tee time.  He played with three guys he worked with almost every Sunday and I knew he wouldn’t be home before one-thirty.

When I finished the breakfast dishes I went into the den and brought up the computer.  I typed in the address for “cheatingwives.com” and a box popped up asking for a user name and password.  Ben had used the same user name and password for everything since we started using computers ten years ago so I typed them in and they worked.

The site was a collection of stories about wives who cheated on their husbands.  I read several and they were a mix of wives writing about how they cheated, got away with it and loved it, men who caught their wives cheating writing about how they found out and what they did about it and men writing about encouraging their wives to go out and do other men.

I backed out of that site and tried “cuckoldsunlimited.”  Mostly the same as “cheatingwives” except the men encouraged the wife to fuck other men while they watched or wives who did it, rubbed hubby’s face in it and treated him like a wuss while he just sat there and took it.

I checked three other sites and found them all basically the same in that the husband usually watched the wife make it with other men and got turned on while they watched.

Why was Ben reading this stuff?  And then I suddenly thought “Oh My God!  Could Ben possibly want or wish that I would do those things?”  The thought stunned me!

++++++++++++++++++++

I started reading the stories whenever Ben wasn’t home and I did have to admit that some of them really got to me.  It wasn’t the ‘watching’ or the ‘cuckolding’ that got to me, but the sex that the women had.  I had only been with one man – Ben – in my life and I was reading about women who did it with two or three men at the same time.  I tried to imagine myself with two or more men and I couldn’t.  Even when reading the descriptions I couldn’t see that it was possible, but did it ever turn me on.

The more stories I read the more I thought about what Ben might want.  Did he imagine me as the woman in the story he was reading?  What was his interest?  Did he want to watch?  Was he thinking of being the cuck and having his face rubbed in it?  Could he actually be thinking of eating my pussy after another man used me?

The more stories I read the more I wondered if I could ever do the things the women in the stories did.  I could identify with some of them.  I had often wondered what making love with another man would be like.  I think most women who have only been with one man have had that thought at one time or another.  I wasn’t a bad looking woman and when I was out and about I could see men (and boys) checking me out and I had to admit that occasionally I did wonder what one of them might be like.

I wondered, but that’s all.  I loved Ben and I loved being married to him so I never did anything more than occasionally wonder.

But the thoughts started to creep in.  What if Ben really wanted me to be like the women in the stories he was reading? Could I do it?  I really didn’t think so.  Even though some of the stories really turned me on I didn’t think I could do it.  Then I had one of those “Be honest with yourself” moments.  It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it; it was I didn’t think I could do it with Ben watching.

+++++++++++++++++++

A couple of months went by and I was spending more time in front of the computer monitor than Ben was.  I kept checking the history and when I saw that Ben had added another site I went there and checked it out.  More stories along the same line – cheating wives and husbands that got off on it. 

I was reading ten or fifteen stories a day and I was beginning to wish I could be some of the ladies in the stories.  The amount of time I spent reading stories – especially the ones that had my fingers working on myself – were slowly changing things in my mind without me being aware of it.  I’m not even sure when I started thinking “I could do that” or “I’d like to do that at least once” but one day the thoughts were there.  And after that it was only a hop, skip and a jump to “I want to do that at least once to see what it is like.”  From there, because I was a faithful wife, the thoughts went on to how to let Ben know that I’d like to try and do what he seemed to want.

I started thinking up scenarios where I could broach the subject, but then when I came up with a plan I thought would work I had another thought.  Even if I wanted to do it I didn’t know if I could do it.  Could I actually make love to another man?  What if I couldn’t bring myself to do it?  What if I got it all set up and had Ben in the closet, but then couldn’t do it?  What if I just couldn’t let another man touch me?  Then I would have one man hating me because I’d led him on and then said no.  He would be standing there naked and would have a hard cock and I’d be telling him to leave; to go away and leave me alone.  That I could probably live with, but could I live with the disappointment in Ben’s eyes after getting him all built up to get what he wanted?  I didn’t think I could do that.

 There was only one way I could find out about that, but it was against everything that I believed in.  I would have to cheat on my husband.  I would have to have sex with a man not my husband behind my husband’s back in order to find out if I would be able to have sex with another man at all let alone with Ben watching.  Doing another man with Ben watching wouldn’t be cheating, but without Ben’s involvement it would be.  It was the proverbial rock and hard place.  Do it or don’t do it?  Cheat to see if I could give Ben what he seemed to want or don’t cheat and go ahead and set it up for Ben to watch and have it be a disaster.

There were other things to consider too.  How did I go about lining up another man?  I had no doubt that many of our male acquaintances would leap at the chance to do me, but I didn’t think I wanted to do it with any one we knew.  What if it didn’t go right and then I had to see that person on a regular basis?  What if it went great and Ben decided that he didn’t like it while the other man did and wanted more of me?  How would that work out?  Not well I supposed if it was someone we knew.  When I did it the man would have to be a stranger.  And then I realized what I’d just thought.  I’d thought “when” and not “if.”

Ben would never know and it would be a secret that I would take to my grave.  If I was able to make love with another man I’d be a step closer to giving Ben what he wanted.  That decision made I needed to figure out how to set myself up with another man in such a way that I wouldn’t get caught doing it.

I went back to the stories on the computer and familiarized myself with all the ways that cheating wives were discovered.  I discounted all the home surveillance stuff because that stuff only went into play when the husband suspected cheating and since I hadn’t cheated I wasn’t giving off any of the signs and it wouldn’t matter anyway since I wouldn’t be doing it at home and I wouldn’t be using the home phone.

The next most common was being seen either because hubby was in the wrong place at the wrong time and saw you with the other man or someone who knew you saw you and clued in hubby.  The hubby problem could be avoided by making sure hubby was where he was supposed to be when it came time to do it and a simple phone call to him at work would cover that.  Not to his cell, but to his work phone.

The ‘someone who knows you both’ would be more difficult.  I’d need to find some place where there was no likelihood that there would be anybody there who knew me or at least some place where if anyone did see me I’d have a legitimate reason for being there.  Since I worked out of the home I had most of the day that I could use.  Get it done and be home fixing dinner when Ben came home.

The third most common way of getting caught was to screw up and bring something home that hubby would see and make him think.  The way around that would be to take a change of clothes and make sure to shower before coming home.  Cum stained panties could be pitched into a trash can at the scene where the deed took place and not brought home and put in the laundry basket.  Even better, wear a Kotex pad after having sex so the panties don’t get stained.

The next most common way to get caught was to change the way you acted around hubby after you had been bad.  I’d need to work on keeping things the same so no change in attitudes or actions would give a clue that I was doing something that I shouldn’t.

++++++++++++++++++++

Researching the stories for information got me hot and bothered and I had to put my fingers to work.  As I read a story about a woman who had driven two towns away from hers to find a lounge where she could pick up a man and not likely be seen by anyone who knew her I put myself in her place.  I imagined that it was me walking into that lounge and….

I looked around and saw several men there.  Some that looked fairly interesting.  I decided to take a seat at the bar and not take a table.  The men might take my sitting at a table a sign that I was waiting for someone to join me.  I asked the bartender for a glass of white wine.  The glass was almost empty when a man took the stool next to me.  His intent was obvious in that there were seven empty stools to my left and five to my right.

“Buy you a drink?”

I smiled and finished what was in the glass in front of me, turned to him and said:

“Yes you may.”

He waved the bartender over and ordered another white wine for me and a Coors for himself.  When the drinks arrived I thanked him and he said:

“It isn’t often that we see a classy lady like yourself in here, but when we do it is usually because of only one thing.”

“And that would be?”

“Do we have to play silly games?”

“What else do we have to do with our time?”

“How about I just be blunt.  If you aren’t here after what I’m here after just say so and I’ll get up and leave you alone.”

“That’s not the most romantic thing I’ve heard today, but I guess it will do, but you should know that I don’t do back seats.”

“Neither do I.  I’ve got an apartment right across the street.”

I picked up the wine glass, drained it and then stood up as I said, “Shall we go?”

He had a nice cock and as soon as we were undressed I went to my knees in front of him and took him in my hand.  I stroked his cock a few times and then I licked the head.  I ran my tongue down his length to his balls and then back up to the tip. I looked up into his eyes as I took him in my mouth and he said:

“Damn baby, but does that ever feel good.”

I worked him for a little bit and then I stood and moved to the bed.  Once on my back he moved to me and took my left breast into his mouth and licked and sucked on it.  My nipples are sensitive and I arched my back and pushed hard against his mouth.  One of his hands went to my right breast and the other slid down my body to my pussy.  I moaned as a finger and then two worked into me.  I spread my legs as wide as I could to give him better access and cried out as he found my clit and began working on it.  In only minutes I was moaning:

“Fuck me, please, no more playing, just fuck me.”

He moved up and I reached down took hold of his hardness and guided it to where we both wanted it to go.  He thrust and I was so wet and ready that he was all the way into me with only two pushes.  He lifted my legs up onto his shoulders and I reached with my hands and gripped his butt cheeks and pulled us tightly together.

“Oh yes, oh God yes” I cried as he drove deep.  “Fuck me; fuck me hard and make me cum” I moaned and he started fucking me and fucking me and fucking me as I moaned and whimpered and fucked him back.  I felt the tide beginning to build and he pounded harder and suddenly I was there!

“Oh fuck” I thought as I pulled my eyes from the screen and the story I had been reading and my elbow hit the keyboard as I furiously used my fingers on my pussy as I had an orgasm.  I slumped down and then I did something that I had never done before.  I took my fingers out of my pussy and licked them clean.  A look at the clock told me that I needed to turn off the computer and get dinner started.

That night when I went to bed I let Ben know that I was interested in a little ‘bump and tickle’ and he obliged me.  Ben does a pretty good job on me, but that night I imagined that he was the man from the afternoon’s story and that added a bit of excitement to the act and I came for him harder than I had for quite a while.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

The next day I was busy most of the morning taking care of business, but by two I was caught up and I sat down at the computer and brought up a story site and went looking for more ideas on how to safely hook up with another man without Ben or anyone else knowing.

The ‘two towns over” from yesterday’s story sounded like it would work, but two towns over from us was a hundred and ten miles away.  I could do it, but I’d rather find something closer if I could.

I stumbled on a story about a woman upset with her husband who was dissatisfied with her in bed.  He told her she might as well be dead since all she did was lay there.  She was on her way to visit her mother who lived a half hour out of town when she saw a young man hitchhiking.  Normally she never picked up hitchhikers, but that day for some reason she stopped and gave him a lift.

He was a nice looking kid, maybe eighteen to her thirty-four, and she noticed that he kept glancing over at her legs.  She had on a skirt and it had ridden up.  She didn’t know what came over her, but she suddenly pulled off into a rest area, parked in the back where there were no other cars, got out of the car and moved to the back seat.  She pulled up her skirt and I closed my eyes, my fingers went to my pussy and I became her as….

 I pulled off my thong panties, settled back on the seat, spread my legs and waited to see what he would do.  He sat there looking at the split between my legs and didn’t move.  He looked up into my face and I smiled at him and started fingering myself.  He dropped his eyes to watch my fingers move in and out of me and in a voice husky with passion and need I asked:

“Does this give you any ideas?”

He looked from my fingers to my face and then back to my fingers and then he quickly joined me on the back seat.  He pushed his pants down around his knees, crawled forward and pushed his hard cock into me.  My legs came up and clamped him as he drove deep into me.

“Oh yes baby, fuck me” I said into his ear.  “Fuck the shit out of me.  Fuck me hard and make me cum.”

As he rammed his hard cock into me I thought to myself, “Dead in bed am I?  Well fuck you asshole.”

I dug my nails into his ass cheeks and screamed, “Fuck me!  Fuck me!  Fuck me!”  And he did.  He drove hard and deep for several minutes and then he moaned, “I’m cumming, I’m cumming” and as I felt the hot splash of his discharge against the inner walls of my pussy….

I came hard as my fingers got me off and as I settled back down I thought I could do that.  I could pick up a hitchhiker.  Maybe that was the way I should go.  As I stood up to go put a load of laundry in the washer I had second thoughts.  Although I had never made love on a backseat I didn’t think that I was a backseat kind of girl.  I needed a bed to play on, but if it came down to it a backseat would do.  I read a half dozen more stories without getting and ideas so I shut down the computer and started dinner.

+++++++++++++++++++++

The next two days I was busy taking care of clients and it was Thursday before I could get some personal computer time.  I pulled up the history and saw what sites Ben had visited.  The last one was “creampieeatingcuckolds.com” and I pulled it up.  The stories were different from the cheating wife stories he had mostly been reading.  It was stories about wives having sex in front of their husbands and humiliating them.  Ben couldn’t want something like that, could he?  Could I do what Rita (the women in the story I was reading) was doing?  I tried to picture it in my mind and put myself in her place as the doorbell rang and…..

“He’s here” I said.

Ben shrugged his shoulders non-committedly and I said, “You will do this Ben.  You have ten seconds to give me a “yes dear” or pack your bags and get out.  It will happen if you are here or not, but if you are not going to do what I tell you just leave.  Just remember Ben, if you leave there is no coming back.”

He started at me for maybe five seconds and then he lowered his head in defeat as he said “yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes dear, I will do what you say.”

The doorbell rang again and I said, “Answer the door Ben.  Greet him politely and invite him in.  Then escort him to the bedroom.”  I smiled as he said “Yes dear” and went to answer the door.

I walked to the bedroom and dropped my nightgown to the floor as I stood and looked at myself in the full length mirror.  Satisfied that I wouldn’t be a disappointment I moved to the bed and sat down.  Minutes later Ben arrived at the bedroom door and said:

“There is a Mr. Jason Catron here to see you.”

“Show him in please.”

Ben turned to look behind him and said, “Right this way sir.”

Jase entered the room and we smiled at each other.  Ben had never met Jase and didn’t know that I knew him.  Ben thought Jase was just a man I’d arranged to meet through an internet site, but Jase and I were old friends.  Jase had taken my virginity two days after my eighteenth birthday.  I hadn’t seen him in over ten years, but those years appeared to have been kind to him.  I looked at Ben and said:

“Undress him for me Ben.”

Ben gave me a sick look, but then said “Yes dear.”  I watched as Ben undressed Jason and when Ben went to his knees in front of Jason to pull down his trousers and briefs he was on eye level with Jason’s partially hard cock.

“Jason needs to be harder than that for me Ben.  Use your mouth and get him hard.”

Ben wouldn’t look at me, but he said “yes dear” and took Jason’s cock in his mouth.  I could not believe how hot I got watching my husband giving head to one of my old lovers.  I let Ben suck on Jason for a few minutes and then said:

“Now bring him over to me.”

Ben stood up and holding Jason’s cock in his hand he led him over to me.  Jason got on the bed and moved over me and I looked up at Ben.

“Put him in me Ben; guide his beautiful cock into me.”

Ben said nothing as he lined Jason’s cock up and helped it into the slit that was waiting to receive it.

“Pull up a chair Ben and watch how a real man does it.  Pay close attention; you just might learn something.”

Ben sat down on the prepositioned chair and watched as Jason fucked the living hell out of me.  Jason didn’t fuck me any better than Ben did, but I’d never tell Ben that.

“Here it comes baby” Jason said as I felt his spurts inside me.  When he was finally soft he pulled out and I looked over at Ben, smiled at him and then crooked a finger as I said:

“Come over here and clean me up now.”

Ben sat there looking at me without moving and I sternly said, “Get over here right now or get the fuck out!  Your choice!”

He sat there for several seconds and then he got up and came over to me and I smiled when his mouth started working on my pussy.

“We are going to go again aren’t we?” Jason asked.

“As many times as you want lover and Ben and Ben will lick you clean after each and every time.  Right Ben?”

He was silent and I raised my voice to just under a snarl and said, “Right Ben?”  It was begrudging, but it was there.  “Yes dear.”

I backed out of the site and thought “No way!”  Even if that is what Ben would like I wouldn’t do that.  No way!”

+++++++++++++++++++++++

In a stroke of irony it was Hal who gave me the idea on how to do it.  Not directly, but by way of the computer.  He had been in the den supposedly working on some papers he brought home from work when the phone rang.  It was the plant and they had a problem that was slowing the production line down.  After a brief conversation Ben was up and hurrying out the door.  Figuring that he would be gone for a while I went to the computer to pull up a story or two to read for ideas.

Ben had been on the computer reading a story and he had hurried out so fast that he hadn’t backed out of the site and the story he was reading was up on the screen.  It looked like he was in the middle of the story so I had to back up to the beginning.  It was as if the story had been written with me in mind.

The woman had a husband who wanted to watch her have sex with another man, but she kept telling him no.  She would really have liked doing it because she had always wondered what other men would be like, but she had the same problem that I did.  She didn’t know if she could actually bring herself to make love to another man.  She usually flew out of town on business once a month and on one of those trips she decided that while she was out of town she would try to pick up a man and have sex with him.  If she could do it she would go home and the next time her husband brought it up she would tell her husband that if he was absolutely sure that it was what he wanted she would do it.

I read the story three times and memorized what she did.  Once every three months or so I flew to Detroit to see my mother and spend a couple of days with her.  Ben and my mother didn’t get along so he usually stayed home.  I’d be almost fifteen hundred miles away with zero chance of anyone who knew Ben and me seeing what I was doing.  My next trip would be in two weeks and while in Detroit I’d see if I could really do another man.

+++++++++++++++++++

The two weeks flew by and I couldn’t believe the anticipation I was feeling.  I read a dozen more stories and I was primed for the trip.  By the time I kissed Ben goodbye and left for the airport I had reached an honest place in my mind.  Thanks to all the stories I’d read what had started out as me wondering if I could make love to another man while Ben watched had changed to me wanting to know what another man (or men) would be like.  I was no longer doing it for Ben; I was now doing it for me.

As the flight leveled off I leaned back in my seat and thought of the things I might try.  Could I do two men at a time or maybe even three?  Would I luck out and find a man with a huge cock?  Could I actually let a man have my pussy while another man was taking my ass?  I had liked anal the few times I’d tried it, but Ben hadn’t.  He told me the only reason he had done it was to see what it was like.  After trying it he said  said:

“I don’t like the thought of shit on my dick.”

I couldn’t understand his thinking since it would wash off when we were through.  It wasn’t like his skin would absorb it, but after those two times he wouldn’t do it any more.  I hoped that whoever I picked up wouldn’t have the same hang ups.

++++++++++++++++++++++

I had an enjoyable visit with my mom.  I had planned a four day trip, but at the end of three I kissed mom goodbye and headed for the airport.  I took a room at the airport Marriott, changed into something a lot sexier than what I wore at mom’s, and then headed down to the lounge.  I remembered the story where the woman didn’t sit at a table because she felt that the men might think she was waiting for someone and I went over and took a seat at the bar.  When the bartender came I ordered a margarita and sat there sipping as the place began to fill up and a band came in and started to set up.

I had almost finished the margarita when the bartender set another one down in front of me.  I hadn’t ordered it so I looked at him questioningly. 

“It’s from the gentleman at the end of the bar” and he pointed at a good looking man in a suit.  I raised the drink in a “thank you” salute and was not surprised when he got up and move to the stool next to me.  He offered his hand and said, “Barry.”  I took his hand and said “Regina.”

“I’m not usually so forward” he said, “but I’ve been sitting down there watching you and it didn’t look like you were waiting fore anyone.”

“I’m not.  Just a traveler stuck here for the night.”

“That’s my situation also.  Thing is, I saw the band setting up and I like to dance.  There are very few women in here right now and when the band starts you are going to be very popular as far as the other men in here are concerned.  I thought I’d try to beat the thundering herd to you.”

“You want to keep me all to yourself? What if I’m a girl who likes variety and the attentions of lots of men?”

“Then I’ll just have to crawl off into a dark corner somewhere and cry.”

“Oh good Lord no; I can’t have that on my conscious.”

“Would you like to move to a table?”

I said yes and we moved to a table just off the dance floor and when the band started playing we got up to dance.  I felt good in his arms and I was looking forward to my first extramarital sex.  Two dances later during a very slow number he held me tight against him and I felt his hard cock touch my leg.  I smiled and moved to keep in contact with it.  His right hand moved down my back and rested on my ass.  I said nothing.

  The song ended and we went back to our table and I saw him look around.  He picked up both of our drinks from the table and led me to an empty booth against the far wall.  I slid in and he slid in beside me.  He slipped an arm around me and our lips met.  I sent my tongue searching and his responded.  He turned and his right hand moved to my breast.

“Yes!!” I thought.  “It is going to happen!”

I dropped my hand to his lap and rubbed his hard cock.  The waitress appeared with drinks and we separated long enough to take a sip and then our mouths were together again.  His hand went to my leg and I spread my legs wide to give him access to where he wanted that hand to go.  I broke the kiss and whispered:

“Unzip and take it out.”

As my mouth went back to his he did what I asked and I reached down and took hold of his maleness.  His hand moved up my leg to my soaking wet panties as I slowly stroked him.  I felt so goddamned deliciously wicked as I swapped tongues and stroked the cock of a man known only as Barry; a man I had not even known a half hour ago.  His fingers pushed aside the crotch of my panties and I gasped as one of them slid into me.  I wanted him right then.  I wanted to get up on the table or lay back in the booth and say:

“Take me!  Fuck me!  Make me your slut!”

But of course I didn’t.  What I did was ask him what his room number was.  He told me and I looked around and saw that no one was watching so I scooted sideways a little, bent down and took his cock in my mouth.  I licked it with my tongue, bobbed my head up and down on it a few times and then sat up.

“Get up and go to your room” I said.  “I’ll sit here for ten minutes or so and another man is bound to ask me to dance.  I’ll dance with him once or twice before I get up and leave.  That way if my husband is having me watched it will throw the watcher off.  I’ll take the elevator up to eight which is my floor in case the watcher, if there is one, checks out the floor indicator and then I take the stairs down to your floor.  Be ready to open the door as soon as I knock.”

He got up to leave and I said, “Be ready when you open the door.”  I quickly pulled off my panties and handed them to him.  “They are very wet.  The aroma should keep you hard until I get there.”

He smiled at me and left.  The watcher story was made up of course, but some inner sense told me to take no chances so that if by a million to one chance there was someone around who knew me they would see me leave the lounge alone.  If they saw the kissing in the booth I could pass it off as just some teasing to get me free drinks and a dance partner.

Barry wasn’t two minutes gone before I was asked if I would like to dance.  Two partners, a drink and closer to twenty minutes later than ten I was in the elevator on my way up to my floor.  I got off the elevator and turned right toward the stairwell.  With the thoughts of how Barry’s cock had felt in my hand and in my mouth I ran to the stairwell door and thoughts of Barry’s cock being pushed into my pussy and hopefully my ass had me running down the stairs to his floor.

I WAS GOING TO GET FUCKED!!!  I was going to give myself to a man I’d not even known an hour ago.  My pussy was leaking so much I felt it running down my leg.  I was ready!  Oh God I was so fucking ready!  I grabbed the door handle to the eighth floor and then I hesitated as I became aware of a titanic battle taking place inside me.  Half of me was screaming “Do it!  Do it!  You want it.  Do it!”  The other half was yelling and fighting for me not to.  That voice was yelling “You can’t!  You know you can’t.  It is wrong and you know it is wrong!”

I stood there holding the door handle as the warring factions had it out.  I dropped my hand from the door handle and my shoulders drooped.  I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t cheat on Ben.  As much as I wanted to go to room 612 I couldn’t do it.  Maybe if Ben knew, but not behind his back.  I wanted to.  God knows I wanted to, but I couldn’t.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

I’d been home two days before I finally got up the nerve to do what I should have done weeks ago.  We were at the dinner table and talking about plans for the coming weekend when I gave the conversation a sudden change of direction.

“How long have you been wanting to see me have sex with another man?”

He choked on his mouthful of pot roast and when he got control of himself he said “What?”

“How long have you been wanting to watch me with another man?”

“Why in God’s name would you be asking me that?”

I confessed to being curious when I saw him try to hide what he was reading from me and I told him how I’d looked up the history to see where he had been.

“Since that night I’ve followed along behind you and read the stories on the sites you go to.  All of the sites are about cheating wives, men who like to watch them and men who seem to enjoy being a cuckold so how long Ben?”

“You had no right to invade my privacy like that” he snarled at me.

“I had every right” I snapped back at him.  “When my husband tries to hide things from me and keep secrets from me you had better damned well believe I’m going to find out what is going on,  It is out in the open now Ben so tell me.  How long have you wanted to see another man do me?”

He stared at me with fury written all over his face as he stood up, wiped his mouth with his napkin and then threw his napkin into the center of the table.

“Never!  I’ve never wanted to see you with another man!  I’ve never even thought about you doing another man and if I ever caught you fucking another man you would be gone so fast that it would take your breath a week to catch up with you” and he stomped out of the room.

“That certainly went well” I thought as I cleared the table and got ready to do the dishes.

When I was done in the kitchen I went into the living room and tried to watch television, but couldn’t find anything on worth watching so I grabbed a book that I had been meaning to read and started on it.  Maybe twenty minutes later Ben came into the room and sat down on the love seat opposite the couch and watched me.  After a minute or so I put down the book and asked “What?”

He hesitated and then said, “You want to do it don’t you?”

“Do what?”

“Fuck other men.  I could read it on your face when you brought the subject up at dinner.  You want to do it.”

“No I don’t” I lied, “but I would have if it was what you wanted.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.  If you don’t want to do it why would you do it if I wanted it?”

“The honest answer to that is complicated.  You are the only man I have ever been with and after readying all of those stories I do have to admit to being curious as to what other men might be like.  But being curious isn’t worth losing a marriage over so it is something that I don’t want to do.  On the other hand if it was what you wanted I would do it for you and use the opportunity to satisfy my curiosity.”

“And if you liked it?”

“Who knows?  The opposite of that is what if you didn’t?”

“I already know that I wouldn’t like it.”

“Then why do you read all those stories?”

“I fantasize.”

“I don’t understand.  If you fantasize about it wouldn’t that mean that it is something that you would like to do?  Would like to do, but can’t because of some circumstance or other?”

“That is it in a nutshell.  It is something that I would like to do, but can’t.  I can’t because I’m not the type of guy who would ever find himself in the situations to make it happen and even if by some weird stroke of luck I did find myself in the right situation I couldn’t do it because I’m not the kind of guy who can cheat on his wife.”

“How would it be cheating if you were with me watching it happen?”

“You read my motivation wrong sweetie.  In my fantasy I’m not the guy watching his wife with another man.  I’m the other man.”