I met Cookie in the seventh grade.  Her parents had moved to town just in time to enroll her at the start of the school year.  I was walking up the steps to the west entrance of the school and I saw her by the front door.  She was blocked by three guys who were making fun of her pigtails.  She kept trying to get by them, but they kept moving to keep themselves between her and the door.  One of the guys was Oscar Walls and he and I had gone at it a couple of times.  Once on the playground at the elementary school during recess and once at the city swimming pool.  Both times there were no clear winners, but both times had established that I wouldn’t put up with his shit and since then we had steered clear of each other.  I walked up to the little group and said:

“You’re in the way Oz.  The lady and I want to go in that door.”

“You can go, but we ain’t done with Miss Piggy.”

“Miss Piggy?”

“Yeah.  What else would you call a girl her age who runs around in pigtails.”

“Maybe you could ask her what her name is and call her by that.  Move.”

“You going to make me?”

I turned to the girl and asked her if she would please hold my books.  I could see that she was scared, but she nodded her head “yes” and I handed them to her and turned back to Oz.

“Yes Oz; if I have to I will.”

He sneered at me and looked at Dick Reed and Phil North and back at me and I could see that he was thinking “Three against one – a piece of cake” but when I stepped toward him Phil and Dick beat feet into the school.  They didn’t want any part of a fight on school grounds.

  Oz was a bully, but he wasn’t stupid.  He had fought me before and he knew I wouldn’t quit and that it was likely that the fight would still be going on when some teacher came to see what all the commotion was about.  Without Phil and Dick to help make it a quick short fight he knew we could easily end up in the principals office and with the girl telling her side of the story he could end up being expelled.  I could too for that matter, but I thought that I might get points for stepping up to help the girl.  Oz decided that it wasn’t worth it and he turned and walked into the school.  I turned to look at the girl and she was looking at me wide eyed.

“You were really going to fight him?”

“He’s a bully and the only way you can handle a bully is stand up to him and let him know you aren’t afraid of him.”

As I took my books back from her and the crowd that had gathered to see what was going on dispersed I said:

“I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

“It’s my first day here.  We just moved here from New York.”

“My name is Frank and let me be the first to welcome you to Hadley Middle School.”

“Pleased to meet you Frank.  I’m Cookie.”

That was the start of it.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Cookie and I were good friends all the way through middle school.  I asked her for a date to go to the movies a couple of times, but her parents wouldn’t let her date until she was sixteen.  I made her promise me that I would be her first date when she reached that age and she promised.

I was glad I had that promise because when summer vacation ended and we started the tenth grade a brand new Cookie appeared.  She had spent the summer visiting relatives in New York and while she was gone she had bloomed. 

Until that time I’d pretty much had her to myself, but suddenly other guys were paying her attention.  A couple of times I had to jokingly remind her that she had promised her first date to me.  Her birthday was on the 10^th of October and around the middle of September I asked her if her parents would allow her to date on her birthday or would she have to wait a day.  She told me that it wouldn’t matter because she had a restriction in that she couldn’t date on school nights.  She could only date on Friday, Saturday and go on a daytime date on Sunday providing she was home by seven.  The 10^th was on a Wednesday so I asked:

“Will you go out with me Friday the 12^th?”

“I don’t know if I can.  My parents told me that they would probably set something up for the weekend since my birthday was in the middle of the week.”

“Let me know as soon as you can okay?  I’ve been waiting almost two years to take you out on a date.”

On the 3^rd of October Cookie told me that her parents had made plans for the weekend following her birthday.  That meant that it would be the weekend of the 20th before we could have our date, but that was the weekend that I had to go to Chicago with my parents to celebrate my grandparents 50^th wedding anniversary.  I was going to have to see if I could get out of going somehow.

There were distractions during the two weeks leading up to Cookie’s birthday.  We always sat together in the school cafeteria for lunch, but one day Cookie got there before I did and when I got there I found her sitting with Jason Medved.  I joined them and got a nasty look from Jason.  A kind of “Why the fuck are you horning in on us” look.  I ignored him, but he kept butting in whenever I tried talking to Cookie and when he finally left Cook said:

“That was pretty rude of you.”

“What was rude?”

“Sitting down without asking if you could join us.”

“How was that rude?  You and I sit together every day and everyone knows it.  If any one was rude it was Jason.”

“Still, you should have asked.”

Lunch was over before it was taken any farther and nothing was said about it by either of us the next day.  Two days later I got to the cafeteria and found Cookie and Jason sitting together at a table so to mollify Cookie than anything else when I walked up to the table I asked:

“Mind if I join you?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact I do” snarled Jason.

I looked over at Cookie and she just shrugged so I walked away.  The next day I got there first, but when Cookie came through the line she was with Jason and when the paid the cashier she looked around and saw me and headed for my table.  Jason took her by the arm and steered her to another table and she went without protest.  They sat at a table not far from me and even though Cookie was sitting facing me she never once looked my way. 

That day when classes were over – for the first time in ages – I wasn’t waiting outside the school to walk Cookie home.  Around six the phone rang and my mom answered it and then said the call was for me.

“Hello?”

“Hi.  Where were you after school?  I waited and waited and you never showed up.”

“I figured that you would probably be with Jason so I came straight home.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?  Think about it.  I’ve got to go” and I hung up on her.  Childish of me maybe, but what the hell; I wasn’t a grown up yet and I was pissed.

The next day, even though I shared two morning classes with Cook I avoided her.  I was at the cafeteria first and was at a table when Cook got there and she was alone.  No Jason lurking by.  She got her change from the cashier and came over to ma and said:

“Mind if I join you?”

“Why would I mind?”

“After being an asshole and hanging up on me yesterday I wasn’t sure that you would want me here.”

I motioned for her to sit and she put her tray down and took the chair opposite me.

“What is wrong with you Frank?”

“You and the way you have been these last few days.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“The way you have been with Medved.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Sure you do.  You rip me for being rude when I joined you at the table the other day when we have been sitting together since the start of high school.  My place was at that table and I was not rude in taking my place.  Did you say anything to Jason for the rude response I got when I followed your lead and politely asked if I could join you?”

 I could see from her face that she hadn’t and I said, “I thought so.  And yesterday when he steered you away from sitting with me did you protest?  Did you say “I always sit with Frank” and again I could tell from her face that she hadn’t.

“I’ve gone through the last four years thinking that you were my girl, but I guess that I was wrong.”

“You are being silly Frank.”

“I don’t think so.  If you were my girl you would have let Jason know.  You would have told him that you always spent lunch period with me and then invited him to join us if he wanted.  You know what bothered me most about yesterday?  You sat in a chair that was facing me, but not did you look my way and meet my eyes and to me that said that you knew what you were doing wasn’t right, but you did it anyway.”

“Oh come on Frank; it isn’t like we are going steady or anything.”

“That isn’t because I don’t want to Cook; it is because your parents won’t let you until you are sixteen.  On your sixteenth birthday I had fully intended to ask you to go steady.”

“You say that like you don’t intend to any more.”

I looked at my watch.  “Got to run.  Can’t be late for Calc.”

“You walking me home tonight?”

“If you want me to.”

“I do.”

That afternoon when I left school I saw Cookie standing and talking to Jason and I walked up to them and stood there waiting for their conversation to end so I could leave with Cookie.  Jason turned to me and said:

“Beat it ass wipe.  We’re busy.”

It wasn’t cool of me; not in the least, but I dropped my book bag and punched Jason in the face with everything that I had and he dropped to his knees as blood flowed from his nose.  I bent down, got my face inches from his and said:

“If you ever talk that way to me again I swear to God that I will beat the living hell out of you and you had best believe that!”

While that was going on Cook was saying, “Jesus Frank; are you going crazy?  You had no call to do that.  Why are you being a jerk?”

“I’m being a jerk?  You were supposed to be waiting for me or did you forget that earlier today you asked me to walk you home after school?  When I walk up this shithead calls me “Ass wipe” and tells me to beat it and I’m the jerk?  I’m supposed to just smile and say “Excuse me” and leave?  You remember your first day of school?  I didn’t put up with any crap then so why would you expect me to now?”

I turned to leave and Cookie said, “Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“You aren’t going to walk with me?”

“Why would you want to walk with a jerk?  Tell you what.  You go over there to Jason and tell him he was being a jerk when he said what he said and then we can walk home.”

She looked from me to him and then back at me, but didn’t move to do it.  I turned and walked away and she didn’t try to catch up with me.

Friday I again avoided Cookie during our morning classes and I was again first to the cafeteria.  Cookie was with Jason when they came in and she never looked my way as she and Jason went to a table on the other side of the room.  Needless to say I did not walk Cookie home from school.

++++++++++++++++++++++

At dinner that night my dad asked me if I had any plans for Saturday and when I said no he told me not to make any.

“Your mother and I have decided to give you your Christmas present early so tomorrow we are going to hit some used car lots and see if we can’t find something suitable for you.”

I was stunned and didn’t say anything and my dad went on, “It is going to cost you though.  You will have to find a part time job so you can pay for your gas, oil and maintenance.  I’ll carry your insurance until you are eighteen, but after that you will have to pay it.  Okay?”

“Wow, yeah, sure” was all I could get out.

The next day we found a 1965 Mustang that was in pretty decent shape.  It only had a six cylinder engine in it and not the 289 that I would have liked, but maybe I could save up enough money for an engine change farther on down the line.

I spent most of Sunday washing and waxing the car and Monday I went to the school offices and got a parking permit for it.  At lunch time I was in the cafeteria when Cookie came in.  She looked around, saw me, and headed for my table, but just before she got there I got up and left.  That afternoon I didn’t wait around for Cookie after school and I have no idea of if she even looked for me when she got out.

When my dad got home from work he told me that the Mustang was insured so after dinner I took it out for its first spin with me behind the wheel (my dad drove it home from the car lot).  I’d no sooner gotten home than the phone rang and my mom answered and then told me the call was for me.  I took the phone from her and said:

“Hello?”

“Hi.  It’s me.  Can we talk?”

“Isn’t that what we are doing now?”

“No Frankie; I mean face to face.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like what is happening to us.  I think we should talk about us.”

“What’s happened Cook is Jason.  He seems to be at the bottom of everything we argue about lately.”

“I can’t help it that he is interested in me.”

“No, but you could shut him down and you aren’t doing that.”

“Please Frankie; can we talk at lunch tomorrow?”

“I suppose.”

“See you I school.  Bye.”

As I hung up the phone my mom said, “You and Cookie on the outs?”

“Sort of.  Another guy is trying to cut in and she seems okay with it.”

“You are still young Frankie and you will meet a hundred more girls by the time you get out of college.  I know you really like Cookie and she is the only girl you’ve spent time with for the last four years, but you need to know what other girls are like.”

That was true enough, but I didn’t want to spend time with other girls.  Cookie is the one I wanted and I’d known that since the day I met her.

The next day I was sitting at a table when Cookie came into the cafeteria.  Jason was already there too and sitting at a table on the other side of the cafeteria.  As Cookie left the cashier Jason called to her and waved her over to his table, but she turned and headed for me.  I had to smile at the scowl on his face.

Cookie sat down and after the first bite of lunch she said, “What is going on between us Frankie?  Why have you avoided me?”

“I told you that last night.  Jason is what is going on between us.  As far as you was concerned it was rude when I sat down with you that one time, but Jason wasn’t rude when he told me I couldn’t join you the next time.  He of course had the right, but his tone and attitude were rude as hell, but that was alright with you.  You called me a jerk when I punched him, but as far as you were concerned there wasn’t anything wrong with him insulting me in the first place.  In every case you chose Jason over me even to the extent of ignoring me the next day and having lunch with Jason instead of me.

“I don’t own you Cook and I have no say in who you want to spend your time with, but if it isn’t me don’t blame me for staying away from you.”

“There is nothing going on between me Jason and me, but yes, I have spent a little time with him.  You have to realize Frank that you are the only boy I’ve had anything to do with since I moved here.  When another boy shows interest in me I want to get to know him.  It is only natural.  Will you walk me home tonight?”

“No.”

I saw her face change and I said, “I don’t walk home anymore.  I have a car now. So I’ll drive you home.”

She gave me a big smile and told me she would be waiting for me after school.  She was outside waiting when I came out, but Jason was standing there with her. I transferred my book bag to my left hand to free up my right just in case Jason decided to start something like “ass wipe” again and then I walked up to them.

“Ready to go” I asked and before Jason could say a word Cookie said, “I’m ready.  Let’s go’ and we walked off leaving Jason standing there.

On the rides home I told Cook that she was the first girl to get a ride in the car and she said, “And I’d better be the only one.”  I just smiled.

Wednesday was Cookie’s birthday and it was also a repeat of Tuesday with me and Jason both being in the cafeteria when Cookie got there.  Jason again tried to get her attention, but she came over and sat with me.  He was again with her when I came out at the end of the day and she again immediately left with me.

I pulled over to the curb a block from her house and parked.  I reached under the seat and brought out a gift wrapped box and a birthday card and handed them to her as I said, “Happy Birthday.”  She read the card and then unwrapped the present.  When she opened the box she found a gold heart shaped locket on a golden chain.  She put it on and then leaned over and kissed me.

“Thank you Frank.  It is beautiful.”

“You are sixteen today Cook so it is legal for me to ask you to go steady with me.”

Her face changed and she said, “I really don’t want to tie myself down Frank.  Now that I can date I want to spend time with other guys.  My mom says that I need to meet and date different guys so I’ll have a better idea of what I’m looking for when it comes time to settle down.”

“In other words no, you don’t want to go steady with me.”

“I’m sorry Frank, but I really don’t want to go steady with any one right now.”

I was disappointed, but I could understand what she was saying.  Her mother told her the same thing that my mother told me and even though I had intended to ignore mine she wasn’t going to ignore hers.

“Okay then, but don’t forget you promised me your first date.  So keep the 27th open for me.”

“The 27^th?”

“Yeah.  You can only date on weekends and you’ve already told me that you are spending this weekend with your parents.  The following weekend I’ll be in Chicago for my grandparent’s anniversary so October 27^th is the day.”

“Okay.  I did promise.”

She sat with me during lunch and I drove her home On Thursday and Friday.  Both times we stopped short of her house and necked a little and I went home feeling pretty good.  We weren’t technically ‘going steady’ but we did have something going.  At least I thought we did until Saturday evening.

+++++++++++++++++++

Three of my buds and I decided to meet downtown at the arcade.  We were no sooner in the door when Reed said:

“You old dog you.  Now I know why you wanted to come down here tonight.”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell us you were going to meet your girl here” and I looked in the direction he was looking and I saw Cookie.  She was laughing and playing one of the pin ball machines. Standing right next to her and laughing along with her was Jason.  So much for her promise that I would be her first date to say nothing of the fact she had lied to me about having plans to spend the weekend with her family.

I was debating my choices – confront her or just say “Fuck it” and leave when she turned and saw me.  She smiled at me and then she noticed the look on my face.  I saw her lose the smile as I opted for my second choice, turned and walked away.  Fortunately we had come separately so I didn’t have to worry about leaving Reed, Sam, and Dan stranded.

I almost got in trouble going home.  I was so steamed that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing until I hit a pothole and it shook the Mustang enough that I automatically looked at the gauges.  I saw that I was twenty miles over the posted speed limit and I hit my brakes and slowed down to forty.  Two blocks later I passed a police car parked on the other side of the road.  If it hadn’t been for that pot hole I would have been dead meat and my dad would have taken the Mustang away from me.  I learned two lessons that night.  Don’t trust lying cunts and don’t let your emotions control you.

Sunday morning I was helping my dad do yard work when my mom called out that I had a phone call.  I went inside and she handed me the phone.

“Hello?”

 “Hi” Cookie said and I hung up on her and went back to helping my dad.  That evening, around six, the phone rang and I answered it.  “Hello?”  “Please don’t ha…” and I missed the rest of what Cookie was going to say because I hung up the phone.

I avoided Cookie during our two shared morning classes and when I went to the cafeteria at lunch time I saw her sitting with Jason.  I found an empty table on the other side of the room and as I sat down I saw Cookie pick up her tray and head for me.  Jason tried to catch her arm and stop her, but she ignored it.  She reached my table and sat down, but before she could speak I said:

“What happened to your sudden concern for manners?  According to your attitude lately aren’t you supposed to say “Mind if I join you” or something like that?  Or is it just me that has to do it when you are with Jason?”

“What is wrong with you Frankie?  Why are you behaving like you are?”

“As if you didn’t know.”

“I don’t know Frankie; I don’t have a clue.”

“Did you not tell me that we couldn’t date on the weekend because your parents had plans for you?”

“Yes.”

“And did you not promise me that I would get your first date when your parents started to let you date?”

“Yes, but what has that got to do with the way you are acting?”

“You can’t possibly be that stupid Cook.  I walk into the arcade and what is the first thing I see?  It wasn’t you and your parents.  It was you and Jason.  So much for your first date promise.”

I got up and walked away leaving my lunch and Cookie sitting there.  When I got to the parking lot after school I found Cookie standing next to the car on the passenger’s side.  As I walked up she said:

“We have to talk Frankie.”

“No we don’t.”

“Okay then; I’ll do the talking and all you have to do is listen.  I was not on a date with Jason Saturday night.  I was with my parents and if you had stuck around instead of tearing off in a snit you would have seen them.  I can’t help it that Jason was there.  His dad and my dad work together and between the two of them they thought that it would be a great idea to get Jason and me together.  I was surprised when I got to the arcade and found Jason there with his parents.  It wasn’t a date and I had nothing to do with it.  It surprised both dads when they found out that Jason and I already knew each other.

“Because we knew each other it was only natural that we were around each other as we played the machines.  He was not a date Frankie.  Now don’t you feel silly for acting the way you’ve been?”

“No I don’t Cook.  By now it should be crystal clear to you that I do not like the asshole, but every time I turn around I see you with him.  You told me that you didn’t want to go steady because you wanted to be able to date other guys, but the only guy I see you with is Jason.  You know how pissed I was at seeing you with Jason on Saturday, but that didn’t keep you from sitting with him in the cafeteria today.”

“I can’t help it that he just sits down with me.”

“No?  What happened to your new requirement that whoever joins you has to first ask politely if it is all right if they join you?  Did he?  And even if he did how hard would it have been for you to say “Sorry, but I’m waiting for Frank?”  I have no right to be picking your friends for you or telling you who you can sit with, but you should be smart enough to know that if I see you with that asshole I’m not going to be coming around.”

“You aren’t being fair Frankie.”

“Of course I am Cook.  Life is about the choices you get to make.  You know my feelings where Jason is concerned so if you choose to spend time with him you are at the same time choosing to not have me around.  It is that simple.”

She was silent for a bit and then she asked, “Are you going to give me a ride home?”

“Of course.”

As soon as we were off the school grounds she slid over next to me, took my right arm and put it around her.  It was a quiet ride until we got two blocks from her house and then she told me to pull over to the curb.  As soon as I shut off the motor Cookie said:

“You are my best friend Frankie and I can bear to have you mean to me” and she kissed me.  We made out for a bit and then I took her home.

Tuesday and Wednesday we had lunch together and I drove her home.  We made out both times.  Thursday Cookie and I went through the cafeteria line together and took a seat at a table.  We had been there about three minutes when Jason walked up and said:

“May I join you?”

I so wanted to tell him the same thing he had told me the time I’d attempted to join him and Cookie, but I really didn’t want to deal with an upset Cookie so I just said:

“It’s up to the lady.”

Cookie already knew how I felt about Jason and it should have been crystal clear that I didn’t want him there, but she said, “Of course you may” and he sat down.  I was civil as we talked about the candidates running for class president and what a jerk Mr. Ames our Civics teacher was.  When lunch period ended and we stood to leave Jason said, “Call you tonight?” and I saw Cookie throw a quick glance at me as she nodded her head yes. 

That nod and quick glance bothered me all afternoon, but I didn’t say anything as I drove Cookie home.  She gave me a look when I drove past our make out spot without stopping, but she didn’t say anything.  I dropped her at her house and said I’d call her as soon as I got back from Chicago.

++++++++++++++++++

I didn’t go to school on Friday because we had to be at the airport at two for our flight.  As we were getting ready to leave the house we got a phone call that grandma had suffered at stroke and was in the hospital and the anniversary party had been cancelled.  Mom decided that she still needed to go so dad drove her to the airport.

It was probably a little cold hearted of me since I did love my “Grams” but I thought that now I can call Cookie and we can have our date.  I was going to call her as soon as she got out of school, but dad came home from the airport and had me help him do some things so it was just a bit after six before I could get on the phone.  I called and the phone was answered by her mom.

“Hello?”

“Hi Mrs. Thacker, its Frankie.”

“Oh hi Frankie.  Are you in Chicago all ready?  I thought you didn’t leave until three.”

“We didn’t go.  My grandma had a stroke and the party was called off so I’m still here.  May I speak to Cookie?”

“She isn’t here Frankie; she and Jason just left.”

“Oh?  Do you know when she will be back?”

“I’ve no idea Frankie.  Her curfew is eleven and being that this is her first date I’d bet that she won’t be home until one minute to eleven.”

“Please tell her that I called.”

“I will and Frankie?  I’m sorry about your grandmother.”

“Thank Mrs. Thacker.”

I hung up the phone.  So I was Cookie’s best friend and she couldn’t bear to have me mad at her?  Well I guess she was just going to have to learn how to bear it.

++++++++++++++++

Apparently her mom gave her my message because she called me at noon the next day.  As son as I heard her voice I hung up the phone.  She called twice more on Saturday and three times on Sunday and each time I hung up as soon as I heard her voice.

Monday I wouldn’t even look at her during our morning classes and when she tried to catch me between classes I literally ran from her.  I didn’t go to the cafeteria at lunch time and instead I sat in my car out in the parking lot.  After my last class I ran for my car so I could avoid having Cookie standing there waiting for me, but it did no good.  She was there when I got there.  As I walked up she said:

“Why are you being so mean Frankie?  Talk to me.”

“Why?  So you can tell me more of your damn lies?”

I unlocked the car door and as I was getting in she said, “Please Frankie, don’t be tha….” and I think I shocked the both of us when I snarled:

“Just shut the fuck up!  I don’t want to hear another word out of your goddamned lying mouth.”

Her face went pale at my outburst since I had never, in all the time I’d known her, used profanity in her presence.  I started the car and drove off leaving her standing there.

From that day forward whenever I saw Cookie she was with Jason and it was only one week after my blow up that I heard that Cookie and Jason were going steady.  I chalked it up as another lie she’d told me.

Several times over the rest of the school year Cookie tried to talk tome, but I hung up when she phoned or walked away if she came up to me.  She sent me a card on my eighteenth birthday, but I threw it away unopened.

 I did get some childish satisfaction out of the situation.

I ran across Jason in the park where I went to run in the mornings.  He unwisely sneered at me and told me that I was a loser who couldn’t even hang onto to his girl.  I told him I was well rid of the lying cunt.

“You can’t call my girl that.”

“I just did asshole.  Want to hear it again?  You’re welcome to the lying cunt.”

He swung at me and I beat the snot out of him.  It was seen by a couple of kids from the school, but they hadn’t heard what had been said and had assumed that I’d busted his ass because he had stolen Cookie from me.  The word went around that you shouldn’t mention Cookie or Jason around me.

+++++++++++++++ 

With Cookie out of my life I looked around and noticed a bunch of girls that I wouldn’t mind dating.  Getting dates was easy since I was one of the few guys in our class that had a car and I rarely had a weekend that I didn’t have something going.  My part time job at Burger Barn did get in the way some, but I did have to work to earn the money that kept the car going.

The thing was that every time I took my date somewhere Cookie and Jason would be there or would get there shortly after we got there.  Jason made sure to keep the width of the room between us and Cookie would have a look on her face that fairly screamed out “What are you doing with HER?”  It almost seemed like she was jealous.

By the middle of the eleventh grade I had settled into a steady relationship with Pauline French and every time Pauline and I ran across Jason and Cookie Pauline would get nasty looks from Cookie.  I thought it was funny.  Pauline said it was because Cookie wanted me and I had to laugh at that.

“She had me and she dropped me for the asshole she is with.”

“I think she regrets it.”

“Tough shit.  She made promises and she broke them and she lied to me.”

Pauline shrugged and said, “Her loss and my gain.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Just before Christmas I got some good news.  Jason’s dad got transferred and Jason ended up having to move.  It was good news to me not because it meant that Cookie was now free to date, but because it meant that with all of the holiday activities coming up her steady boyfriend was gone.  She could probably scare up some dates, but it wouldn’t be the same.

The day after Christmas I ran into Cookie’s mom at Wal-Mart and she asked me why I never came around any more.

“You and Cook were always so close and then overnight you were gone.”

“Unfortunately she made me a promise and then broke it and then to add insult to injury she lied to me and that ended it for us.”

“She did what?”

I told her the story and she looked shocked.  “My Cookie did that?

“Yes she did.”

“I’m so sorry Frankie; I thought I’d raised her better than that.”

The next day when I got home from my shift at the Burger Barn I found Cookie sitting on the front porch steps.  As I came up the walk she said:

“Why did tell my mother what you did?”

“Because she asked me why I didn’t come around anymore and since I’m not a liar like some people I know I told her.  What’s the matter?  You don’t like people knowing that you are a lying bitch?”

“When did I lie to you?”

“The day I asked you to go steady was one of them.  You told me that you weren’t going to go steady because your mother wanted you to date other guys to see what they would be like and yet not two weeks after telling me that you were going steady with Jason.

“I guess another lie was your promise to me that I would be your first date.  You knew you were going to go out with Jason when I was supposed to be in Chicago.  You think I didn’t catch it when he said “Call you tonight” and you nodded your head yes when we had lunch that last day?  You had already set it up and to hell with your promise to me.  So fuck you Miss Thacker; just keep your lying ass away from me” and I walked by her and into the house.

Ten minutes later my mom came into my room.  “Why is Cookie sitting on the front steps crying?”

“Don’t know and I don’t care.”

“No Frankie; that won’t do.  It obviously has something to do with you so what is it?”

I explained it to my mom the same as I had explained it to Cookie’s mom and then my mom said:

“You go out there and apologize Frankie.  She was wrong, but she is still a young teenager and still hasn’t grown up and learned how to handle life.  You are the same.  You need to learn that life isn’t always fair and people make mistakes.  You have to learn to deal with those mistakes without anger dictating what you do.  You and Cookie have been friends way too long for you to treat her the way you have.”

“But she lied to me.  She broke her promise.”

“Just because you feel that strongly about her doesn’t mean that she has the same strong feelings for you.  You have to accept that she may only have ever viewed you as a friend and not a boyfriend.  It happens to all of us Frankie.  When I was in high school I fell madly in love half a dozen times and none of them lasted.  I went through a dozen boyfriends before I met your father.  You and Cookie had a great friendship.  Too great of a friendship to let it be ruined by a case of puppy love.  Now go out there and mend some fences.”

I got up and went downstairs and out onto the porch, but Cookie was gone.  I spent the rest of the week thinking about what my mother had said.  During the same period I attended a couple of holiday parties with Pauline and we never ran across Cookie.

One party brought about a milestone in my life.  The loss of my virginity.  Pauline’s eighteenth birthday was on December thirty-first and as we danced at a New Year’s Eve party she whispered in my ear:

“When we leave here tonight we are going to usher the New Year in in style.  Can you afford a motel room?”

It just so happened that I could.

We were both virgins, but some things come natural to you.  There was a lot of foreplay before we settled into the missionary position and I do have to say that even though my first time was embarrassingly quick it was still wonderful.  The second time took a little longer and the third time seemed to go on forever and I didn’t want it to end. 

Pauline said she wanted to see what having her pussy eaten would be like so I got down there and went after it.  I had no clue as to what to do, but Pauline directed me.  If it felt good she said to keep on doing it and if I did something that didn’t feel right she told me.  After a while she pushed me away and said that it was my turn.  She had never given a blow job and I’d never had one so it was more uncharted territory for us.  It was great except for at one point she used her teeth and got an “Ouch” from me and after that she was careful not to use teeth.  I loved being in her mouth and I told her she could do it to me any time she wanted and she told me that I could munch on her beaver any time I wanted to.

By six in the morning we had made love four times and done oral on each other twice.  I left that motel one very happy camper.

After that night Pauline and I managed to do it on the average of three times a week and it would have been more if it wasn’t for my job at the Burger Barn or her job at the Dairy Queen.

++++++++++++++++++++

The first day of school following the holiday break I entered the cafeteria at lunch time and I spotted Cookie sitting alone.  I walked over and sat down.  She looked up and started to say something, but I cut her off.

“No, I’m not going to ask if I may join you.  I’m only here long enough to ask you if you would like a ride home from school.  We need to clear the air between us.  If you are at the car when I get out of class I’ll know you want to talk.  Now if you will excuse me Pauline is waiting for me.”

I got up and went over to sit with Pauline who quite naturally wanted to know what I’d been doing at Cookie’s table.  I told her and she asked:

“Am I going to end up having to fight for you?”

“Not hardly.  You have me for as long as you want me.”

“Good.”

Pauline’s last class ended an hour before mine and she was supposed to spend the last hour of the school day in study hall, but she usually skipped it and went in early for her shift at the DQ so I didn’t have to worry about her and Cookie together at the car although I did kind of wonder at how that would have gone.

Cookie was waiting at the car when I got there.  As we pulled out of the parking lot I just flat out asked Cookie why she had done to me what she did and she told me that she hadn’t meant to do it.

“I didn’t lie to you when I told you I wasn’t ready to go steady.  I meant it at the time and if it wasn’t for Jason I would have dated other guys, but when I met Jason I felt a spark and it just went from there.”

“And your promise to me?”

“I’m really sorry about that Frankie, but I was between a rock and a hard place.  Jason was my guy and he wanted my first date.  I know it wasn’t honest of me, but I thought with you being out of town I could go out with Jason and you would never know and then I could go out with you when you came back and you would have thought I’d kept my promise.  I know it wasn’t right Frankie, but I felt that strongly about Jason.  I never meant to hurt you Frankie; honest to God I never meant to hurt you.  You have been my best friend forever and it has been killing me that you won’t have anything to do with me.”

I was silent for a bit and then I said, “You have never seen me as a boyfriend have you?”

“No Frankie I didn’t.  I suppose that if Jason hadn’t come along or I’d never felt that spark with anyone else I dated that you and I would probably have ended up a couple, but I don’t really know.”

I told her what my mother had said “And I guess she was right.  We have been friends forever and I guess I can’t hold it against you that you didn’t have the feelings for me that I had for you.”

“Does this mean that we can be friends again?”

“Yes, I guess it does” I said as I pulled up in front of her house.  She slid over next to me and gave me a hug and a kiss and said, “Thank you Frankie, thank you.”

+++++++++++++++++++++

The rest of our senior year slid by and I saw Cookie often and gave her rides home from school on days when Pauline skipped study hall and went into work early.  Pauline and I even double dated a time or two with Cookie and whoever her boyfriend of the moment was.

One day, a month before graduation, Pauline asked, “You going to try and get something going with Cookie when I leave for college?”

“You tossing me back into the dating pool?”

“Just being realistic Frankie.  I’m going to be fifteen hundred miles away and I probably won’t come home except on holiday breaks and summer vacations.”

“No problem babe; I can wait.”

“Maybe you can sweetie, but I won’t.  I’ll date when I’m there and if the right guy comes along I’ll probably give it up.  Face it sweetie; I like it too much to go without.  If you are unattached when I do come home we can get together.  When I graduate and come home maybe we can pick up where we leave off.  The thing is I don’t want you sitting here waiting faithfully for me.  Date, have a good time and try to get laid because that is pretty much what I’ll be doing.”

That was a bit of a blow because I thought Pauline and I had a bit more going for us than it seemed.  Pauline knew I was disappointed and she did her best to bring my spirits up by fucking me half to death until she left for school.

+++++++++++++++

Cookie and I were staying at home and attending the local community college with the idea of transferring to a four year school down the line.  We shared some of the introductory classes like Introduction to Computers and English Composition 101, but we had different majors so we didn’t have all that many classes together.  We did see each other almost every day at school and occasionally we found ourselves in the school cafeteria at lunch time and when that happened we sat together.

For the first few months I was in a bit of a funk knowing what Pauline was probably doing while she was at school, but I eventually shook it off and started dating.  It was easier now that I was working part time at my Uncle Mike’s Just Brakes franchise and didn’t have to work evening anymore.  The money was better too.

I felt a little guilty the first time I took one of my dates to bed.  It was like I was cheating on Pauline, but it didn’t take me long to reason it out.  Pauline had no doubt started within a month of getting to school so I really wasn’t being unfaithful to her but still, the first couple of times I didn’t feel right about it.

When I did start dating I would occasionally run across Cookie and her date of the evening and I noticed that she was never with the same guy twice.  I chalked it up to her still pining away for Jason and not being able to come up with a guy who gave her the same feelings he did.

I did hook up with a couple of girls that I had short term relationships with, but no one who even came close enough for me to consider a long term relationship with.

Pauline did come home for the holidays and she called me the day she got home and I guess you could say that we picked up where we left off.  Our first evening together was supposed to be dinner and a movie, but as soon as she got in the car she slid over next to me and reached for my zipper as she said:

“To hell with dinner baby.  Take me somewhere and fuck my socks off.”

That set the pattern for the next week, but even though I was loving all the sex something didn’t feel right.  Something was different.  I’m not the swiftest guy in the world, but I finally figured it out.  The day after Christmas as we were showering after a sex filled five hours in room 127 of the Marlowe Ave Motel 6 I said:

“You found someone at school didn’t you?  Someone special?”

She looked away from me and said, “Yes.”

“Then why aren’t you with him right now instead of being here with me?”

She was silent for a few seconds and then she said, “Because I promised you that if you were unattached when I came home we would get together and I know how you feel about promises.  Besides, I always keep my promises.”

“That’s dumb Pauline.  You didn’t promise me anything.  As I remember it all you said was that if I didn’t have anything going we could get together.  That wasn’t a promise.  If you have strong feelings for the guy you need to get the hell out of here and spend the rest of the holidays with him.”

“You don’t want me any more?”

“Of course I want you, but the important thing here is that you don’t really want me.  You want him.  You need to understand that I stopped thinking of us having a life together when you told me what you would be doing while you were away.  All we are now Pauline is friends with benefits.  I’ll take it as long as you want to give it to me, but if you have found a guy that you feel strongly about you need to be with him.”

She called me that evening and told me she had called him and he had invited her to come and stay with him.

“I’m going honey, but I’m always going to have a place in my heart for you.”

I wished her well and then I thought about how I had managed to screw myself up.  Pauline was gone and so was my date for the New Year’s Eve party at Jeff’s.

+++++++++++++++++++

I was having lunch at Denny’s when Cookie walked in.  The place was full so I waved her over to join me.  We chatted while we ate and Jeff’s party came up in the conversation.  I mentioned that since Pauline and I had broken up I wouldn’t be going.

“Why not?”

“Because those kinds of parties are couples affairs and singles don’t really fit in.”

“What you are saying is that you would be going if you had a date.”

“Pretty much, but this close to the party finding a date would be near impossible.  I have what?  Seven hours to come up with a date?”

“No problem.  What time do you want to pick me up?”

“Pick you up?”

“I don’t have a date and I was going to go to the party and I was going to go single.  You said you would go if you had a date so what time do you want me ready?”

It was the first time I had ever danced with Cookie and I was surprised at how well she fit into my arms and how easy we moved together.  We had a good time, but the biggest surprise came when the count down to midnight began.  I expected a quick peck on the lips to honor the tradition, but on the stroke of midnight Cookie grabbed the back of my head and gave me a kiss that left me weak in the knees.  When we broke the kiss I looked at her in astonishment and she said:

“We’ll talk later on the way home.”

The party broke up at three and as I pulled away from the curb Cookie said:

“You have always been my best friend Frankie.  We have always been close.  Close enough that I can ask you for a big favor.  A really, really big favor.”

“What?”

“Will you make love to me tonight?”

I couldn’t have been anymore stunned if she asked me to help her rob a bank.  I sat there with both hands on the wheel staring forward at the road we were travelling.  I couldn’t think of a thing to say.

“What’s wrong Frankie?  Why won’t you talk to me?”

“You caught me by surprise Cook.  I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say yes Frankie.  Please?”

“What is going on here Cook?”

“I like sex Frankie.  Actually I love it, but I haven’t been laid since Jason left.  I’ve dated a lot, but I never liked any of them enough to do more than some heavy make out sessions.  You’re my best friend Frankie.  Help me out please?”

It was unreal.  For years I had thought of her as ‘my girl’ only to find out that she didn’t have the same feelings for me.  Now, after I’d adjusted to being just her friend in a big brotherly sort of way, she was offering me her body.  Part of me wanted to say no just out of spite, but even as I had that thought the larger part of me was saying, “You have always wanted her so you damned well better say yes.”

I had a few bucks in my pocket so hung a left on Mayhew and headed for motel row on the outskirts of town.  Cookie was taking off her clothes before I even had the door closed.  I thought Pauline was hot, but Cookie made Pauline look like a total beginner.  Cookie had said that she loved sex and she spent all night proving it.  She did it all.  She even wanted anal which was something that I had never done before.  She had my cock in her mouth trying in vain to get me up again when I drifted off to sleep.

And that was the start of it.

As we drove away from the motel in the morning Cook said, “I have a family thing to do tonight, but I’m free tomorrow.  From then on it was sex two or three times a week.  We had making love for over a month before we went out on an actual date.  By the middle of the year we were considered a couple and by the time the next New Year’s Eve party I was thinking of buying a ring and proposing.  As it turned out I never did get to actually propose.

It was on New Year’s Day – one year to the day since our first time – when she hit me with it.

“We have a problem Frankie.”

“What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“How?  I mean I know how, but I thought you were on the pill.”

“I am, but remember that cold I had back in November?  The antibiotics I took messed up my system and apparently negated the birth control pills.  What are we going to do?”

“We have to get married.”

“How can we do that?  We can’t afford it.”

“I’ll have to quit school and go full time at Uncle Mike’s.  We can make it.  Others have done it on less.”

“God Frankie, what am I going to tell my parents?”

“The truth Cook.  It isn’t something you can hide, at least not for more than a couple of months.”

“I didn’t want this Frankie.  God knows I didn’t want this.”

“But we got it Cook and now we have to live with it.”

Our parents took it surprisingly well.  My parents surprised me with something that I had never known.  They had gotten married for the same reason I was marrying Cookie.  My dad did say:

“This is one case where I wish it wasn’t a “like father, like son” situation, but what is is.”

According to Cookie her dad just shrugged when he got the news and her mother told her that she felt guilty over not warning Cookie about the effects that some medications had on birth control pills.

The ceremony was a civil one with just a few friends and family in attendance.  Our parents got together and for a wedding present they paid for a one year lease on an apartment and gave us enough furniture for it.  I went full time for Uncle Mike and we settled into married life.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Being pregnant seemed to make Cookie horny all the time and since we now lived together instead of just dating our sex life moved up from two or three times a week to five and six and that frequency held right up to two weeks before Frank junior arrived on the scene.  When JR, which is what we called Franklin Michael Malone junior, was six months old Cookie’s mom took over as babysitter and Cookie found a job as a secretary at a real estate office and we started saving money for a down payment on a house.

A couple of years went by and we were finally able to come up with the down payment on a house we could afford and we moved in.  The only other thing of note (as related to my life anyway) was that we were invited to Pauline’s wedding and then I got to be her wingman/babysitter when she went out and got drunk following her divorce when she caught him cheating.  We stayed good friends and surprisingly Cookie showed no jealousy over the fact that I was so close to an ex-girlfriend.

Pauline had gotten a real estate license and was working for the same agency that Cookie worked for and Pauline was helping Cookie study for taking the licensing exam so Cook could get her license.

Cook and I had been married a little over five years when life got complicated.  Uncle Mike bought a Jiffy Lube franchise and since it was taking up a lot of his time he made me the manager of the brake franchise.  After six months he decided that he really couldn’t handle them both so he made me an offer.  He would lease the brake franchise to me with an option to buy and the lease payments would go toward the purchase.  For me it was a no brainer and I jumped at it.

The thing that I hadn’t noticed while working for Uncle Mike was the amount of time he had to spend on the business and my hours became longer.  I had to get there early to open, stay late to close and then take care of the paperwork generated during the day.  Some nights I was there two or three hours after closing just taking care of the payroll, filing tax reports for city, county, state and the federal government.  Just making sure payroll taxes got paid on time and were accurate took a chunk of time.

About the same time I noticed a change in Cookie.  She would go through periods of being happy and then sad.  She would get ‘snappish’ with me and then a day later she would apologize.  I put it down to the pressure of being a fulltime secretary and trying to be more than a part time mom with out me being there to help as much as I had before I took over the brake shop.  It went on for over three months before I found out what was happening.

Pauline had brought her car in for some brake work and while she was waiting we decided to go to lunch.  We talked as we ate and we were almost finished when Pauline asked how things were going with me and Cookie. 

“Great.  Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.  I know how hung up she used to be on Jason.  I just wondered if it had any effect on your marriage.”

“Why should it?”

I saw a funny look come over her face and she said, “No reason.  No reason at all.”

“Don’t give me that sweetie; I know you too well.  You have something that you just decided to keep from me.  What is it?”

“I just wondered how the two of you were getting along now that she is seeing Jason.”

“Cookie is seeing Jason?  I didn’t even know he was back in town.”

“He isn’t.  The company he works for has an office here and he comes to town for a couple of days every two or three weeks.  When he is here he calls her and they have lunch.”

“That’s it?  They have lunch together?”

“I don’t know what she does when she is gone, but some of those lunches are pretty long ones.  You really didn’t know she was seeing him?”

“Didn’t have a clue.”

“I hope I didn’t just make problems for you.”

“I hope you didn’t either, but things aren’t sounding too good.  How long has it been going on?”

“Two or three months.”

“Two or three months and Cookie has never mentioned him at all during that time?  No sweetie; things are definitely not sounding good.”

I asked Pauline to call me the next time Jason was going to be in town and she said that she would.

That afternoon as I sat in the office reviewing the time sheets it occurred to me that Cookie’s mood swings could be because she was seeing Jason.  Her ‘happy’ periods were when he was in town and her ‘down’ periods and irritable times were between his visits.  I never would have thought that Cookie would cheat on me, but what else could her failure to tell me about Jason’s visits mean?  If they were just innocent lunch dates with an old friend why would she hide them from me?  And of course the big question – what was I going to do about it?

It was two weeks before I got the call from Pauline, but I really didn’t need it.  I got home from work to find a very happy Cookie and I guessed that it meant she had either seen Jason that day or had at least gotten a call from him telling her that he was coming to town.

Pauline verified it the next day when she called me at work.

“I was out showing a house and I didn’t know Jason was here until I got back to the office.  I got there just as Jason dropped her off.  Then I had a couple come in about a house and I forgot to call you until this morning.”

“What time does Cook usually leave for lunch?”

“Between eleven-thirty and twelve.”

“Thanks for the call sweetie.  I owe you one.”

“Careful lover; I just might call in the debt.”

I laughed and said goodbye.  I couldn’t afford a private detective so it was going to have to be a ‘do it yourself’ thing.  I called Harry into the office and told him he was in charge until I got back and then I headed for the real estate office.  At eleven-fifteen I was parked just up the street where I could see the front and side door and parking lot and I settled in to wait. 

At eleven-thirty Cookie came out the front door, looked both ways and then moved up to the curb and stood there.  A minute or so later a Ford Focus pulled up and Cookie got in.  She slid over and kissed the driver and the car pulled away.  I followed along behind them and pulled to the curb and parked when they pulled into the parking lot at Antonio’s.  It was Jason who got out on the driver’s side and he and Cookie entered the restaurant hand in hand.  Forty minutes later they came out, got in the car and then sat and necked for about twenty minutes and then he drove her back to work.

That night Cookie was in a great mood which of course did not put me in a good mood.  One of the things about Cookie’s good moods was that she never – NEVER – wanted to make love when she was in one.  She always had an excuse why she couldn’t on that night, but she always did promise to make it up to me and she usually did.  I guess she thought she would be cheating on Jason if she had sex with me when he was in town.  Either that or she couldn’t stand to have me touch her after she’d spent time with him.

I slept fitfully that night as I spent some time wondering about the situation and what I ought to do.  My restless night was apparently noticeable as Cookie mentioned it in the morning.

“You didn’t seem to sleep well last night.  Something bothering you?”

“Yeah, I guess there is.”

“Any thing I can help you with?”

I couldn’t have asked for a better opening, but I didn’t take it.  I wanted to know more about her meetings with Jason before I confronted her.  At eleven-twenty I was again parked where I could watch the real estate office.  Cook came out at eleven-thirty on the dot and less than a minute later Jason pulled up and she got in the car and she leaned over and kissed him.  I followed them to a Denny’s and the entire thing was a repeat of the day before only this time they necked for over a half hour before Jason drove her back to work.

I went back to work and again spent the afternoon thinking about what was going on.  They didn’t appear to be having sex, but they could have been.  I’d only followed them for two days and they had been meeting for three months and who knows what they did on all the times I never knew about.  She was always home when I got there so unless it was on nights I stayed late to do paperwork they weren’t meeting after Cook got off work.  I remembered what Pauline said about the fact that some of their lunch meetings being long ones.  I needed to know more before I got on her about it.

 I loved the dumb bitch and I was happy with my marriage and my family and if I didn’t handle it right I could screw things up pretty bad.  If things weren’t all ready too bad.  I mean why was she seeing him?  What did they talk about?  Was she thinking of leaving me for him?  Was my marriage all ready in the toilet and I just didn’t know it yet?  I’d just about made up my mind to let things ride and wait and see what she did the next day or maybe on Jason’s next trip when Cookie brought things to a head.

She was in another of her happy moods and over dinner she told me that she would be late the next evening.

“I’m stopping after work with the girls from the office for a girl’s night out.  I won’t be too late, but you will have to handle dinner for you and JR.”

A little bell rang in the back of my head.  Cookie had never before stopped after work with the girls from the office.  While Cookie was doing the dishes I went into the bedroom that I had turned into a home office and den and I called Pauline and asked her about the planned girl’s night out.

“What girl’s night out?  I don’t know anything about it.”

I told her about what Cookie had told me and Pauline said, “The girls have never stopped for drinks after work and if they were going to start I’d be one of the fist ones to know.  In fact I tried to arrange one a couple of months ago and no one was interested.”

There was a slight pause and then “Oh shit!  Jason’s in town.”

“Exactly.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet, but I could very well end up divorced.”

“Oh goodie!”

“Oh goodie?”

“Divorced puts you back in circulation.  I fucked up once and let you get away and I’ve regretted it ever since.  I’d love another shot.”

As I hung up the phone I was already thinking of how I was going to handle it.

When we went to bed Cookie wanted to play and I had to wonder about that.  She usually wouldn’t have anything to do with me on the days she spent with Jason, but she was going to fuck me and then go to him the next day?  I didn’t understand it, but understand it or not Cookie was offering and it could very well be the last time for us so I was going to take it.  It was an exhausting night as we made love three times and as I drifted off to sleep I wondered if we would be sharing the same bed after the next day.

Over breakfast the next day Cookie reminded me of her girl’s night out and that she would be late.

“Just make sure in your mind that your night out is worth the price you will have to pay for it.”

“What on earth do you mean by that?”

“What I mean is that your husband is not the dumb clueless doofus you apparently think he is.  I know a lot more about things than you think I do so like I just said, make sure that your girls night out is worth the price that you will pay for it.”

“I don’t have a clue as to what you are talking about.”

“You have all day to think about it.  Maybe by quitting time you will have figured it out.  Then again maybe you have all ready figured it out and you are willing to pay the price.”  I got up as I said, “Got to get going or I’ll be late in opening the shop.  See you tonight.  Or not.”

I left the house to Cookie’s “Come back here Frank!  You can’t just…” and the closing door cut off the rest.

I was just up the street from her office when she came out at lunch time.  She got in her car and drove to the Burger King and went through the drive thru and then drove back to her office.

I went back to work and spent most of the afternoon wondering about how the evening was going to go.  I’d made up my mind that if Cookie went on her girl’s night out we were done.  She would come home and find all of her things in the spare bedroom; the bedroom that was supposed to be for our next child.  The one we wouldn’t be having.

I let everyone go and closed the shop a half hour early and drove over to the mother-in-laws to pick up JR and then drove home.  Cookie wasn’t there, but I hadn’t expected her to be since I was home early.  If she did come straight home she wouldn’t get there for another half hour.  I parked JR in front of the TV to watch Sponge Bob Square Pants while I started dinner.  I worked with one eye on the clock and when Cookie wasn’t home a half hour after her usual time I fed JR and then started moving Cookie’s things out of our bedroom and into the spare bedroom.

I was carrying an arm full of dresses out of our bedroom when Cookie came up the stairs and saw me.  I hadn’t heard her come in the house.  She saw that my hands were full of her clothes and she asked:

“What are you doing Frank?”

“Moving you out of our bedroom” I said as I walked across the hall and dropped the dresses on the bed.  “Since you are home now I’ll let you hang them up while I finish moving the rest of your stuff.”

“What is wrong with you Frank?  Are you out of your mind?  First there was all that nonsense this morning and now this?”

I looked at my watch and saw that it was five after nine so I said, “You got off work four hours ago Cook; where have you been?”

“I told you that I was stopping after work with the girls.”

“And I told you to make sure that you were willing to pay the price if you went.  The price is the end of our marriage.  You will be staying in the spare bedroom until I can work out the finances for one of us moving out and into an apartment.  I’ll be seeing an attorney in the next day or so and get the divorce paperwork started.”

“Are you fucking insane?!!!  A divorce over me stopping for drinks after work?”

“Come off of it Cook.  I told you this morning that I knew a lot more than you thought I did.  I know about your seeing Jason for the last six months (Pauline said two or three but I was going for shock value) and I know for a fact that there was no girl’s night out tonight with the girls who work in your office.  What you did tonight was meet Jason after work and I can guess what you did with him for four hours.  Face it Cook; you are busted.

“I gave you a chance to hang on to your marriage this morning when I said what I said.  You should have been smart enough to figure out that I knew what was going on from the things I said.  It isn’t all bad though.  In six months or so you will be free and you and Jason won’t have to sneak around. Hell, now that you are busted and we are through you don’t have to wait six months.  In fact, why don’t you go call the asshole and tell him to come pick you up?  You can spend the night with him and not have to sleep in the spare bedroom.  But I will tell you one thing.  If he ever sets foot in this house I won’t be responsible for what I do to the both of you.”

I left her standing there as I went back to what used to be our bedroom for another load of her stuff.  When I got back to the spare bedroom she was sitting on the bed and she looked up as I came into the room.

“We have to talk about this Frank.”

“The time for talking is long past Cookie.  The time to talk was six months ago.  It should have started with a “Guess who is back in town” but I never got that did I?  Instead you have been seeing him behind my back.  No matter.  It is over now so you just go and do whatever.”

I went downstairs and pulled JR away from the electronic babysitter and told him it was time to get ready for bed.  Cookie was still sitting on the bed in the spare room when we walked by it on the way to JR’s room.

“Why is mommy crying?”

“She got some bad news tonight and I guess it has upset her.”

I got him put down for the night and headed back to my bedroom.  Cookie had moved from the spare room into what had been our bedroom and was sitting on the bed.  She looked up as I came into the room.

“We have to talk Frank.  I didn’t do anything wrong.  It isn’t what you think.  You have to listen to me.”

“Why should I listen to you Cook?  All you are going to do is lie to me.”

 “No I won’t.  Honest Frank; I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“See Cook?  There’s your first lie right there.”

“No it isn’t Frank.  All I’ve done is have lunch with Jason a couple of times and I had dinner with him tonight.  I never told you about Jason coming back to town because I knew how much you disliked him.  I wanted to see him, but I didn’t want to cause problems between you and me so I didn’t say anything.  Okay, so maybe it was wrong of me to do that, bur Jason and I haven’t done anything wrong.  I swear to you Frank, nothing happened between us.  I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“No?  Well all I can say is that your definition of wrong is a lot different than mine.  To me a wife kissing another man is wrong.  To me a wife making out with another man is wrong.  To me a wife lying to her husband is wrong and you have done all of those things Cook.  And those are just the things I know about.  God only knows what you have done that I don’t know about.”

“But I….”

“Get off of it Cook.  I told you that I know more than you think I know.” 

I decided to keep Pauline out of it because I might need her to play spy again so I said, “I was in town at the bank seeing about a larger line of credit and I decided to stop by your office and take you to lunch.  I got there just in time to see you get in a car with Jason and slide over next to him and kiss him.  It was on the mouth Cook; not a good friend peck on the cheek, but on the mouth and you didn’t break it off in any hurry either.  I followed you to Antonio’s and I was watching when you came out, got in the car and made out like a couple of teenagers for the next half hour.  I didn’t see what your hands were doing below window level, but I have a pretty good imagination.

“Being the curious guy that I am I was back yesterday to see what you might be up to and I’m sure that you can remember just what I got to see and after seeing that I’m pretty sure you can figure out what I think you did tonight.  All of that adds up to “wrong” in my book Cookie.  You can say you did nothing wrong until you are blue in the face, but again, what you consider wrong and what I consider wrong have nothing in common so if you don’t mind get on over to your room because I need to get to bed.”

“This is my room too.  I belong in here with you.”

“I don’t see it that way.  I don’t want to touch you or have you touch me after what you have been doing with Jason.”

“Bullshit Frank.  You made love to me last night after seeing me with Jason at lunch.”

“True, but all you did was neck at lunch.  I suspect that you did a lot more than that tonight.”

“Damn it Frank; I told you that it was just dinner.”

“True Cook, that is what you told me, but I don’t trust you anymore so I am not going to waste any of my time believing anything that you say.  Now lave the room so I can go to bed.”

“No Frank, this is my room too and I’m staying.”

I grabbed her, picked her up and carried her across the hall to the spare bedroom and tossed her on the bed. I went back to my room and pushed the dresser over to block the door and then I went to bed and tried to fall asleep.  It was hard to do until Cookie stopped beating on the door demanding to be let in.  Eventually she did stop and I fell asleep.

++++++++++++++++++++++

In the morning she was sitting at the table in the kitchen when I came down.  She looked like she had been crying all night.  JR was sitting there eating his cereal so nothing was said between me and Cookie regarding our new circumstances.  I poured myself a cup of coffee and toasted a bagel and then sat down and talked with JR about what he would be doing in school that day.  Then I poured myself a cup to go and headed off to work.

It was a busy morning in the shop and it was almost noon before I had a chance to sit down with the Yellow Pages and scan the listings for divorce attorneys.  I was looking for one close to the shop and there were a couple.  I was wondering if I should ask around for some recommendations (since I did know several divorced guys) when the phone rang.  It was Cookie.

“I made arrangements for mom to keep JR overnight.  We need to sit down and talk things over Frank.  I taking off early from work and I’ll have dinner ready when you get here.  We can eat and then talk without being interrupted or having to worry about what JR hears.”

“What would be the point Cook?  I’m pretty sure I made my position clear last night.  Also there is the fact that I’m not likely to believe anything that you say.”

“It won’t kill you to talk with me Frank.  I’ll see you tonight” and she hung up.

I put the pone down, stared at it for a couple of seconds and then went back to making my list.  I looked at he finished list and decided to ask my divorced friends about the names on the list.

Dinner was waiting when I got home and Cookie even had a chilled Cabernet on the table.  We ate in silence and then Cookie cleared the table and put the dishes in the dish washer.  She sat down, took a sip of her wine and said:

“I love you Frank.  Don’t ever doubt that.  I don’t want a divorce.  I belong with you.”

“Then why were you doing what you were doing with Jason?”

“I had a special relationship with Jason.  At one time he meant the world to me and I fully expected that I would spend my life with him.  Circumstances split us apart and for one reason or another we were never able to connect again.  You and I also had a special relationship and I cared for you deeply, but even though I did love you it wasn’t a love as deep as the love I had for Jason.

“I’m not sure that we would have ever gotten married if it wasn’t for JR, but JR happened and we did get married.  In the years that followed I began to realize what a treasure I had in you and I came to love you as deeply as I had loved Jason.  Three months ago, and it was only three months ago and not the six that you said, Jason called me and asked me to have lunch with me and I did.  We talked about what happened in the past and brought each other up to date with our lives.  I enjoyed myself so I said yes when he asked me to have lunch with him the next day.  I did and I enjoyed his company.

“He told me about his wife and his twin girls and I told him about you and JR.  He left and then three weeks later he was back in town and he called me again and asked me to have lunch with him.  This set a pattern.  He would come to town every two or three weeks and he would call me and ask me to have lunch with him and I always said yes.  I never told you about it because of your past history with Jason and all I could see was trouble if you knew.  All that it was was two old friends getting together for lunch once in a while.  After the second time I kissed him on the cheek the same as I usually do with old friends.  You’ve seen me do it. 

“Anyway, the third time I went to kiss him on the cheek he turned his head so that I hit his mouth and he grabbed my head and held it as he gave me tongue.  When he let me go he said he missed me terribly and that everything was wrong.  It should be me he was married to.  Then he said that he knew I felt the same and he asked me to come up to his room in the hotel.  What was your favorite term for him back in high school?  Asshole?  Well that is just what he is; an asshole.  A wife and two kids at home and he was trying to get me to go to bed with him.  I realized if things had gone differently I would be married to him and the asshole would be out cheating on me.

“I was pissed.  He missed me terribly?  Then why no phone calls or letters after he moved.  Why no attempt to contact me at all?  And he had such a poor opinion of me that he thought I’d leap at the chance to cheat on my husband with him.  I decided to fuck with him.  I decided to lead him on and make him think I would eventually do it.  I would go just far enough that he thought he was going to score and then back off.  The make out sessions got a little hotter each time and he was sure that he was going to get me.  He told me he would leave his wife and that we could be together like it was always meant to be.

“When I agreed to have dinner with him he thought for sure that I was going to end up in his room before the evening was over.  I told him that you were out of town for two days and that my mom had JR and was keeping him overnight.  I could see that in his mind he was already undressing me and planning on me spending the night.  Halfway through dinner I got up to use the bathroom and while in there I called my mom and told her that I was in a meeting I wanted to get out of and I asked her to call me in twenty minutes.  When she called I pretended the call was about something that happened to JR and that I had to leave.  I could tell he was pissed that his prize for the evening had gotten away from him and it made me smile inside.”

She got up and went over to the counter and got her purse and came back to the table.  She reached into her purse, came out with a piece of paper and handed it to me.

“What is it?”

“The post office receipt for the package I sent Jason’s wife.  I sent it ‘Return receipt requested.”

“You sent his wife a package?”

“When I decided that I was going to fuck with Jason I started carrying a voice activated cassette tape recorder in my purse.  I sent her the recordings of what he said when we were together along with a note explaining who I was and I ended the note saying that I thought she should know what the asshole she was married to was up to when he was away from home.  I very much doubt that Jason will be calling me the next time he comes to town.”

I looked at her and was silent for a bit and then I said, “I’m not sure that I can believe that story Cook.  There are still things that happened that make me doubt it.”

“Like what?”

“Every time you met him you came home happy as hell and you would never make love with me on those nights and then after he had gone back to wherever he lived you were snappish with me and irritable as hell for a day or two.  That doesn’t add up to being pissed at Jason.  To me that meant you were happy as hell when he was around and you could be with him and moody and upset when he left and you had to come home and be with me.  And the fact that you always turned me down for sex on the nights after being with him during the day told me that you were either afraid of me finding out I was getting sloppy seconds or you saw it as cheating on Jason.”

“You can’t possibly believe that of me!”

“Of course I can.  All I have to go on is what I saw with my own two eyes and what I saw was a married woman making out with an old lover.  Making out is all I saw on the two times I followed you, but who knows what you did on all the other times I wasn’t watching.  How do I know that those other times didn’t end up being long lunches in a motel room somewhere?  No Cook; your actions have put you in a position where I don’t trust you enough to believe a word you say.”

“That’s not fair Frank.  If I felt that strongly about Jason why would I have sent that package to his wife?”

“It could be that after I moved you into the spare bedroom and confronted you you decided that you needed to cover your butt.  Maybe you really didn’t believe him when he said he would leave his wife for you and you decided to force the issue.  You sent her the package so she would kick him out and then he could be with you as soon as you could dump me.”

“Jesus Frank; you can’t possibly think that.  It just isn’t so.  How can you believe that I would do something like that after what we have had since we got married?  You love me Frank and you and I both know that.  I love you and you should know that too.  You have to believe me Frank, you just have to believe me.”

I just sat there and looked at her.  I wanted to believe her, I really did.  I had loved her for so long that a part of me was screaming “Believe her you idiot” but another part of me was hollering “Believe your eyes Frank and remember how she was when Jason came into your lives.”

Finally she said, “What can I do to prove it to you Frank?”

“I don’t know that you can Cook.  For one thing I notice you didn’t respond to what I said about being happy when Jason was in town and pissed off and irritable when he left and all you had was me.”

“That’s because I had no idea I was that way.  If I had to guess I’d say it was because I really appreciated you and was happy to be with you after spending time with an asshole like Jason.  As for the irritable part?  Probably because I was upset with myself for going behind your back no matter how good I thought my reasons for doing it were.”

“And your refusal to make love?”

“That had to be just coincidence.  I must have had some legitimate reason for not wanting to make love on those nights.  Help me out here Frank.  Tell me how I can prove to you that I love you and I was just messing with Jason’s head?”

“I don’t have a clue Cook.  If you are able to do it you will have to be the one to figure it out.”

“Will you at least hold off talking to a lawyer to give me time to think of something?”

“I guess I can for a while, but it won’t be a long while so you will have to come up with something quick.”

I got up and went out to the garage to do some work on my truck.  As far as I was concerned Cookie and I were history.  I didn’t think there was any possible way she could prove to me that she was just screwing with Jason’s head and not doing what I thought she was.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

There would come a time when I would have to face Cookie’s parents over our split and I had no intension of coming out of it the bad guy so I had to get something that I could use to show them it was their daughter’s actions and not mine that caused our marriage to end.  I didn’t see how I could do it though since I never knew when Jason would come to town so I couldn’t hire a private investigator to be in place waiting.

We had two phones in the house so I went to Radio Shack and got three voice activated tape recorders and hid one near each phone and put one under the seat in Cookie’s car.  It was a wild shot and I didn’t really think I would get much from them because I figured that Jason probably called Cookie at work, but I had to try something.

I called Pauline and asked her to meet me for a drink after work.  I told her what was going on and asked her to keep me up to date on anything she came across and she said she would.  Two days later she called me and said:

“I don’t know if this means anything, but she just got a phone call that upset her.  I heard her say “Fuck you asshole” as she hung up.”

 I of course wondered what that was about.  That night when I got home I collected all the recorders and listened to them.  There was nothing on the one from the bedroom phone or from the one under the seat of her car, but there was something on the one from the one by the phone in the kitchen.  I had no idea what time the call came in, either after I left for work or just after Cookie got home from work, but the call was obviously from Jason’s wife.  After saying “Hello” the conversation went:

“This is she.”

“Yes, I sent it.”

“The note I enclosed should have explained it.”

“He’s lying to you.  There is no way I went after him.  I had no idea where he has been since he moved from here.  I hadn’t seen or talked to him until he showed up where I work and asked me to have lunch with him.”

“Look honey; the tapes speak for themselves.  You want to believe the asshole feel free, but keep in mind that this isn’t the only place he travels to.  You might want to consider what he is up to at the other places he visits.”

“No.  I doubt very much he will be looking me up after my sending you the tapes.”

“Well fuck you too you stupid cunt!”

Then there was the sound of the phone being slammed down on its cradle followed by, “What a stupid bitch!”

Then followed the sounds of Cookie fixing dinner.  I rewound the tapes and then put the recorders back in their hiding places.  The call didn’t prove anything one way or the other.  All it proved was that Cookie had indeed sent Jason’s wife some tapes, but the question was still there.  Did she do it to force a wedge between Jason and his wife so Jason would be free Cookie to hook up with or was she really trying to burn him?

++++++++++++++++++++++

Another week went by and I decided that it was time for me to start checking out the attorneys on my list.  I talked to a couple of divorced friends of mine and found out that they had both used the same lawyer and neither one had anything good to say about him so I crossed him off the list.  Both friends told me that their ex-wives lawyers were pretty damned good and one of them was on my list so I put a check mark next to his name.

Once I decided that I was going to go for the divorce I started thinking of how to protect my business so I didn’t lose it in the divorce.  I talked with Uncle Mike about it and he came up with the solution to the problem.  Since I was buying it from him and making payments to him he wrote me several letters and back dated them.  The gist was that I was behind on my payments and if I didn’t catch up by such and such a date he would take the business back.  The last letter said he was sorry, but since I was four months behind in my payments he was taking the business back.  I could stay on as manager, but at a reduced salary. 

Everything was back dated to before I found out about Cookie and Jason.  Since the original deal was between me and Uncle Mike and no other parties had been involved there was no way Cookie and her lawyer, whoever he turned out to be, could prove different. 

The business secure I turned my attention back to my list of attorneys.  After talking to several people I had narrowed the list down to two names, but before I could contact one of them circumstances changed.  It was ten in the morning when Pauline’s call came.

“Just keeping you up to date sweetie.  Cookie was hauled off to jail about ten minutes ago.”

“Hauled off to jail?  You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Not in the least.”

“What did she do?  Steal the office petty cash?”

“A little more serious than that.  She put Jason in the hospital.”

“What?!!”

“Jason came storming in here, called her a stupid fucking bitch for fucking up his marriage and told her that she would pay for it.  I didn’t see it happen myself, but a couple of the guys said it looked like Jason was going to hit her.  One of the guys hollered at him and when Jason looked to see who yelled Cookie picked up the paperweight off of her desk and bashed him in the head with it.

 “He fell to the floor and while he was down there she kicked him in the balls a couple of times and told him he was a cheating lying bastard and that he deserved whatever he got.  Jason’s head was bleeding pretty badly and someone called 911.  That got the cops involved and they took Cookie away.”

As I hung up the phone I was thinking that the question of the two of them getting together if Jason and his wife were to split was answered.  Maybe, just maybe, Cookie had been telling the truth.  I debated rushing down to the police station or waiting for Cookie to call me.  I decided to sit tight.  If I rushed down there she would want to know how I knew and if I told her it would also tell her that I was in touch with Pauline and I wanted to keep that a secret for a while.  Always nice to have a spy in the other camp if you know what I mean.

Three hours later I got a call to come down and pick her up.  The police had investigated and the people in Cookie’s office all swore that Jason was about to hit her and she had defended herself so she was released on her own recognizance.

An asshole of an assistant district attorney decided that even though she was defending herself kicking a helpless man when he was lying on the floor bleeding was uncalled for and he charged her with simple assault.  If she had gone for a jury trial she would have beaten it, but she opted for just appearing in front of a judge.  He found her guilty, fined her three hundred dollars plus court costs and two hundred hours of community service.

She got a thank you card from Jason’s about to be ex-wife with a short note enclosed saying that she should have used the paperweight on Jason’s head a few more times.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

And the two of us?

We are putting it back together, but it is going slowly because I am still pissed over what she did and it flares up occasionally.  Cookie knows that there is still a small kernel of doubt in my mind over what she did.  Did she sleep with Jason?  Was everything she did after I confronted her done because she was telling me the truth or because by then she had come to the realization that Jason had no intension of leaving his wife and so she did her best to make me think she was telling me the truth.

We are back in the same bedroom and Cookie’s way of trying to make me forget is to try fucking my brains out.  I’m willing to try to forget her actions, but I honestly doubt that I ever will.  It might fade away for a while, but sooner or later something will happen that will bring that small kernel of doubt back  Some one will say something, I’ll see a picture of something or an old classmate will mention that he saw Jason somewhere and it all comes back.  I think Cookie realizes that and so she goes out of her way to spoil me rotten.

Cookie still works at the real estate office and Pauline still works there also.  Pauline and I have lunch every once in a while.  She is still my eyes and ears at the office, but it has been almost eight months now and she has had nothing to report.  I think Cookie and I are going to be okay, but I’m going to be a lot more vigilant from now on.  Cookie knows that she has had her “One time shame on you” and that from now on I am never going to be in the “Two times shame on me” position and if she loves me as much as she says she does she will make sure that it never happens.