I was sitting at the kitchen table sipping my third cup of coffee and looking out the window at the backyard. The grass was ankle high, weeds were taking over the flowerbeds and the roses were in bad need of pruning. That was all stuff that Dan was supposed to take care of.

The front door squeaked when you opened it, the showerhead in the upstairs bedroom leaked, my car needed the brakes relined and it was due for an oil change; more stuff that Dan usually took care of. There were a hundred other things that Dan usually took care of, like holding me in his arms until I fell asleep and snuggling up close to me in the mornings.

Dan had built in radar that sensed my moods. I can't even count how many times I had come home from work whipped to a frazzle and found that he had dinner on the table and a pitcher of margaritas chilling in the fridge.

And the touching. He never walked by me without reaching out to touch. Sitting on the couch reading or watching television one hand would end up touching me somewhere. His kisses made me go weak in the knees and his smiled warmed my heart.

The grass doesn't get cut, the weeds don't get pulled, the rose bushes don't get pruned and I don't get touched anymore because Dan is gone. He is gone and I could just die.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dan burst into my life just when I had reached the point that I thought that I had everything settled and arranged. I had just gotten my degree in marketing and had landed a job at one of the top ad agencies in town. My steady of the last three years had proposed and I had accepted. I had it made. Mark was handsome, smart, and a tiger in bed (it didn't hurt that he packed a nine-inch cock in his boxers). I was set. All the T's were crossed and the only I left to dot was the one in marriage. And then Dan came into my life.

It was my first day at my new job. I had gotten on the elevator and had pushed the button for the third floor when a voice called out:

"Hold the elevator please."

I caught the door with my hand and it retracted as a man hurried onto the car.

"Thanks. I'm running late this morning and these elevators are so slow that it could have been five minutes before it came back down. Five please."

I pushed five and then turned to face him and looked into the deepest brown eyes I had ever seen. He smiled at me and my world turned upside down and inside out. If there had been anyone in that elevator with us who knew me and had seen the look on my face and understood it and had said, "But what about Mark?" I honestly believe that I would have answered, "Mark? Mark who?"

Until that exact instant I had never believed in 'love at first sight' and how gaa-gaa it could make you. I just stared at him for several moments and then said in a rush:

"My name is Kathy and I just started working here today."

The elevator stopped at the third floor and the door slid open and I just stood there looking at him as the door started to slide closed. He reached out a hand and stopped it, "Your floor I believe?"

"Oh? Oh yes, thank you" and I tore my eyes away from him and got off the elevator.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It took a supreme effort on my part to put the brown-eyed man out of my mind and pay attention as I set out to learn my new job. One of the girls took me under her wing and spent the morning showing me around and introducing me to people and at lunchtime she invited me to join her. We were sitting in the basement cafeteria and I was working on my salad when Mary said:

"You sure are a fast worker."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You've only been here half a day and you have already made your first conquest."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Dan hasn't taken his eyes off of you since you walked in here."

"Dan? Who is Dan?"

"Over against the wall; the table next to the candy machine."

I looked over that way and right into the eyes of the brown eyed man. He smiled and I quickly looked away and Mary laughed and said:

"I sense something here. Is there something you would like to tell me?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh no? How about we test that out. You can stop with us girls after work tonight. We usually stop at Antonio's for a wind down drink. It just so happens that Dan and a few of the guys he works with stop there also."

I couldn't stop that night. I had to meet Mark to go and look at some furniture. I spent most of the afternoon thinking about Mark and Dan, Dan and Mark and at four I called Mark and lied to him for the first time. I told him that my first day on the job was being a bear and I was going to have to work late. At five I left work with the girls and by six I was dancing with Dan. To shorten the story I broke up with Mark and seven months later Dan and I were married.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was a great marriage and I thought that I was the most fortunate woman in the world. Dan was the yin to my yang and we were perfect together. Dan's job involved some travel and he was usually gone about twice a month for anywhere from two to four days. With my job I couldn't get away to go with him so on nights he was gone I would usually stop with the girls I worked with for drinks and we would have dinner together and sometimes catch a movie.

One night, in the sixth year of our marriage, Dan was on a two day trip to Kansas City so I stopped at Antonio's with Mary, Sylvia and Toni for a couple of drinks. We had been there about an hour and I had spent my time sipping a margarita and watching the other girls dance. I didn't dance even though I got asked a lot and would have liked to, but I was a married woman and I didn't think it would be right.

I was watching Mary with the guy who had asked her to dance when someone sat down across from me. I looked over and saw that it was Mark.

"Hi Kathy, how have you been?"

"Fine Mark. What are you doing here? I thought that you had moved to Seattle."

"I moved back here about a month ago."

We made small talk as I sat there and felt guilty over what I had done to him. After I'd met Dan I had started looking for some way to break it to Mark that I had found some one else. I couldn't find the courage to just go to him and do it straight out. One night at a party he'd had a bit much to drink and he was flirting with another girl and I could see that she was interested in him so I just watched until what I knew would happen happened. She stood on her toes to kiss him and as soon as her lips touched his I moved in from where I'd been watching.

"You cheating asshole" I snarled at him as I took the ring off my finger. "Here! Give her this; I won't be needing it anymore."

I stomped out of the party and went home to my apartment and cried all night. I cared for Mark, I really did, but after I had met Dan Mark had to go. He had done nothing wrong; he just wasn't Dan. The night I gave him back his ring was no different from a ton of other parties we had been to. He was a gorgeous guy and girls were naturally attracted to him and he was a natural born flirt, but in all the time I'd known him he had never done anything other than flirt. If I had waited a few seconds he would have pushed the girl away, but I didn't wait. I had used the situation to make my break from him. Mark had tried for a month to talk with me, but I avoided him and then he took a job in Seattle and I had breathed a sigh of relief.

And now here he was sitting across from me at the table. He asked me to dance and I was feeling guilty over what I had done to him and I said okay. Several dances and several margaritas later I found myself naked in his apartment. I make no excuses for my stupidity. I should not have been there; it was wrong.

The drinking and my guilt over what I had done to him were all contributing factors, but the real reason was something more base. While dancing with Mark there were several times when my leg came into contact with his cock. His large, hard cock, and as much as I hated to admit it I had missed that cock. Dan was a simply marvelous lover and he had never failed to get me off when we made love. He loved eating my pussy and was superb at it, and his cock was the perfect size for pounding my butt. It was a nice cock, a little over six inches and like I said, just the right size for anal sex. But it was only six inches.

There is a lot of argument over whether bigger is better or that size doesn't matter, it is how you use it that counts. All that aside the irrefutable fact is that bigger is more filling and once you have been filled by a big cock you never forget it. I think I'm being honest when I say take away the guilt and take the drinking away and more filling or not I would not have been there. But I was there and Mark spent the better part of the night doing his absolute best to fuck my brains out and he must have done it because I agreed to see him again the next night.

That second night was alcohol free and I knew what I was doing, but to me it was only sex. Mark was in no way a threat to my marriage to Dan. All it was to me was a chance to experience that really full feeling I got when Mark's huge cock was inside me. He knew how bad I wanted it and he teased my opening with it until I cried out:

"Damn it Mark, don't tease me. Give it to me baby, you know I want it."

He pushed it into me and I moaned from the pleasure of it.

"Miss this did you?" he asked as he pushed deeper into me.

"Oh God yes, have I ever" I moaned as he hit bottom. I had his entire length in me and it felt so damned good. He slowly began to fuck me and my nails dug into him and my legs wrapped around him. He began fucking me harder and I was bucking almost uncontrollably as I started having orgasms. Mark's cock was touching places that hadn't been touched since I broke our engagement and I screamed at him:

"Give it to me lover, pound it in me" and my body was wracked with orgasm after orgasm. He came in me and after a short rest I sucked him hard again. We screwed three more times that night and I fell asleep in his bed.

After that night I agreed to see him whenever Dan was out of town, but only when Dan was out of town. I rationalized it by saying it was only physical - just sex - and it cost Dan nothing because I still loved him to death. What I gave Mark in no way diminished the amount I gave Dan. Did I feel guilty when Dan came home? Yes I did, but what was the old saying, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him?" Dan was still my life and I always let him know that.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

One of the things about our marriage was our complete openness about our past sex lives. Dan felt, and I did too, that the more we knew about what each other had done or had not done, liked or not liked, would make our love life even better. I knew about the three women in his life before me and what he had done with them and he knew about Mark and the two I'd known before Mark and what I had done with them. One night, after I'd been seeing Mark for almost a year, Dan asked me if I had any fantasies I would actually like to try. I thought about it for a minute before honestly saying no.

"Why? What brings that up?"

"I don't know. I know that I have a couple and I just wondered if you did."

"You have fantasies and you have never told me about them? Why not? You know I'd do anything for you, give you whatever you want."

"I've never mentioned them because you wouldn't like them and you would probably think less of me if you knew what they were."

"What are they?"

"I don't want to talk about them."

"Then why did you bring up the subject?"

"If you had a fantasy or two it would have been easier to talk about mine while we talked about yours. Since you don't have any I really don't want to bring mine up."

"Oh no, you brought it up, you have to tell me."

But he wouldn't. I brought it up every night for the next week and he would change the subject. The more he refused to talk about his fantasies the more determined I was to find out what they were. I had meant it when I told him that I would do anything for him. I loved him and I would do absolutely anything he wanted me to do. It took me two weeks, but I finally convinced him that I wasn't going to leave it alone and he gave up fighting it.

"I have always wanted to see you with another man."

Talk about a shock to the system! I had imagined all kinds of kinky things, but never that."

"Oh wow honey, I have to tell you that is a surprise. I don't know what to say."

"You aren't upset with me are you?"

"Good heavens no. It is just that for the last two weeks I've had my head full of things that you might fantasize about and that wasn't one of them."

"Is it something you think you could so?"

"Jesus baby, I don't know. How would we go about doing it? Who would we use? Where would we do it? What if you didn't like it once you saw it happening and if that happened what would it do to us?"

"I notice that you didn't say anything about not being able to do it while being watched."

"That I know I can do. I told you about the time Mark and I were making love and his roommate walked in. He just stood there and watched and after a couple of nervous glances at him I put him out of my mind and Mark and I finished what we were doing. But that does raise another question. Mark's roommate was one thing, but you watching me with another man is something else. I might be too nervous for it to be good for you."

"I notice you haven't said no."

"I told you that I would do anything for you and if that is what you want I will make it happen, but I want you to be certain sure that it is what you really want."

"It is pretty much all I've thought about for the last two months. I sure honey, I'm positive I want to see it happen."

"Do you have anyone in mind?"

"No honey, I'll let you pick the man. I want you to be comfortable with it so you pick some one you feel you can do it with."

"What if it turns out that I like it and want to do it again?"

"As long as I get to be there and watch you can go ahead and do it."

"How would you feel about me doing it with an old lover?"

"Who?"

"Mark is back in town. He used to like bouncing me around on a bed. I might be able to get something going with him if you can promise me you won't get jealous."

"I can promise you that."

"Okay, I'll try and seduce him. No, no I won't do that. I'll just tell him what you want and tell him I'll go to bed with him as long as you are there to see it."

"Good. Any idea when?"

"No. He keeps calling me and asking me out with him for dinner and drinks, but I keep turning him down. I'll have to wait until the next time he calls me. It wouldn't do for me to go chasing after him.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next day at work I called Mark. "You will never believe this. Dan wants to watch us in bed."

"Christ Kathy, you didn't tell him about us, did you?"

"Of course not."

I explained what had happened and asked, "Can you do it? Can you fuck me with Dan watching us or should I look for somebody else?"

I already knew his answer to that one before he said it. "Damned straight I can. When?"

"A week or two. I don't want to rush it and get him to thinking that it happened so quick. I don't want him getting suspicious."

"What does it matter? He's going to watch anyway."

"But I don't want him thinking we have already done it. That means when we do do it in front of him you have to be damned careful not to say anything or do anything that will give it away."

"I still say that it doesn't matter. If the limp dicked doofus has to watch to get his jollies…."

"What did you call him?"

"A limp dicked doofus."

"Well listen up asshole, if I ever hear you bad mouth him again you can go find some other dolly to play with because I damned sure won't be around. You are only getting what you are getting because God blessed you with a big cock. You didn't do a damned thing to earn it, you just got lucky. Dan fucks me better than you ever have and the only reason you are getting any from me is I like having that full feeling every once in a while. Are we clear on that?"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. How are we going to do this?"

"I'll tell him I had lunch with you and we talked about it. We will wait a week and then the three of us will meet for drinks so you and Dan can get comfortable with each other and then if things work out we will go to your apartment or rent a room."

I waited two days and then over dinner I told Dan that Mark had called me and had asked me to have lunch with him the next day.

"If I know him as well as I think I do he will hit on me before lunch is over. I'll tell him I stop for drinks with the girls at Antonio's after work and I know he will show up. Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this?"

"Yes. It is all I've though about for weeks now. I want it to happen sooner rather than later."

The next night I got home late and Dan was waiting up for me.

"How did it go?"

"Pretty much the way I thought it would. I met him for lunch and he tried to talk me into a date that night and I told him I couldn't, that I was meeting the girls after work at Antonio's. He showed up after we had been there about half an hour. He bought me drinks, danced with me and gave me a line about never meeting anybody right for him after we broke up. I let him get away with feeling me up some and then I let him talk me into going out to his car.

"We did some pretty heavy necking and he asked me to go to his apartment with him and I told him I would, but only under certain conditions and then I spelled them out for him. At first he thought I was kidding him, but I convinced him I wasn't. He agreed and I set it up for tomorrow night. We will meet him at the Panda Bar for drinks at six-thirty and if everything goes well we will leave there and go to his apartment. Once again I have to ask this baby, are you sure that this is what you want?"

"One hundred percent sure Kathy. I need to do this."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mark was sitting in a booth waiting when Dan and I got there. Mark stood up as we approached and I introduced him the two men and then we sat down, ordered drinks and made small talk.

I could tell from the undertones in Mark's voice what he was thinking and I could see it in his eyes. He was looking at Dan as if he were a wimp. At that instant I made up my mind that Mark was history. I loved Dan and I would not subject him to ridicule, not even the silent kind he wasn't even aware of. I had warned Mark, but apparently it hadn't registered. We would get through the night and then I wouldn't see or talk to Mark again. I did like the full feeling I got from his big cock, but not enough to let him disrespect the man I loved.

After about half an hour I decided that it was time to get the show on the road.

"How about it guys, are we good to go?"

"I'm ready," Dan said.

"Me too" answered Mark.

I stood up and told Mark to lead the way. When we got to Mark's apartment I undressed and then watched as Mark stripped. When his hard nine inches became visible I looked at it and sighed. I would miss it.

I looked over at Dan and he gave me a slight nod indicating that I should go ahead and so I walked over to Mark and went to my knees in front of him. I cupped his ass with my hands and pulled his hard nine inches into my mouth with one eye on Dan to see how he was taking it. I couldn't read his expression, but his eyes were locked on us.

I licked and sucked Mark's cock, occasionally taking my mouth off of him to stroke him with my hand. My tongue swirled around the glans and then I licked him from the tip to the base and back again as one hand fondled his balls and then I took him in my mouth. After several minutes of that Mark's hands grabbed the back of my head and he moaned as he shot his cream into my mouth. I gulped and swallowed and tried to get it all, but some of it escaped my mouth and dribbled down my chin. I took my mouth off of Mark, looked over at Dan, smiled at him and then wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

I got up off my knees and moved to the bed and lay down. I spread my legs wide and Mark moved between my legs and buried his face in my pussy. He ran his tongue along my slit and then pushed it into me. I moaned and put my legs up on his shoulders and opened myself up even more for him. He found my clit and latched onto it and I pushed my hips up at his face as the pleasure Mark was giving me made me moan. He worked my clit and I moaned and thrashed on the bed and then I cried out as I had an orgasm.

Mark pulled his face away from my pussy and moved up. I felt the head of his cock at the entrance to my hole and then he pushed and I gasped as his huge cock split my pussy lips and lanced into me. I cast a quick glance at Dan to see how he was taking it and found him staring at us. Well, it wasn't going to happen again, at least not with Mark, so I was determined to give Dan a good show.

"Deeper baby, deeper Mark, push it in, fuck me hard."

He slammed his cock into me. "Oh yes" I moaned, "Yes lover, yes, like that, just like that. Fuck me hard baby, fuck me hard."

Mark was fucking me hard and fast, my nails were clawing at his back, my legs were wrapped around him and I was screaming at him to get me off, to make me cum. He reached under me and gripped my ass cheeks in his hands and pulled me to him. Is cock was driving into me and I felt my orgasm coming.

"Come on lover, harder, almost there, harder baby, harder" and then it hit and I screamed out "YEEESSSSSS!!!!!"

"Oh God that was good" I moaned and looked over at Dan.

He wasn't there.

I looked around the room, but I didn't see him. I tried pulling away from Mark, but he hadn't cum yet and he wouldn't let me go. His hands still pulled my ass up at him and as he pounded into me I felt another orgasm coming, but it was fighting against the panic that was rising in me.

"Dan? Dan?" I called out as I felt Mark spill into me. I struggled to get out from under him and he looked down at me confused.

"Get off of me damn it, get off of me!"

I finally got out from under him and in a panic I ran through the apartment calling out:

"Dan? Dan? Where are you Dan?" but he wasn't there. I grabbed up my clothes and started dressing.

"What are you doing?" Mark asked.

"Dan's gone. I have to find him."

"I planned on a lot more pussy tonight baby, you can't leave now."

"I have to. I have to find Dan."

"Well you are going to have to walk back to your car because I damned sure am not going to get dressed and drive you."

"If that's the you feel about it get used to using your hand because I won't be back."

Mark laughed at me and said, "What? You think your cunt is made of gold or something? I've got more pussy available than I can handle. The only reason I fuck you is that it gives me a charge to cuckold the asshole you dumped me for. Go ahead and leave. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

"Miserable bastard" I snarled at him as I stormed out his door and slammed it behind me.

I was lucky and I flagged a cab almost as soon as I was outside Mark's apartment. During the cab ride I found myself praying that when I got to the Panda to pick up my car that Dan would be sitting at the bar waiting for me. Maybe he couldn't handle seeing me with another man and he left. Maybe he saw how much I was enjoying it and he decided to give me a little privacy.

When I got to the Panda I paid the driver and rushed inside the bar. I looked around, but did not see Dan anywhere. I hurried back out to the parking lot and saw that his car was not there. In a deep panic I ran to my car unlocked it to get in and then stopped as I saw the two envelopes sitting on the seat on the driver's side. In big letters one of them said, "OPEN ME FIRST." I picked up the envelopes, got in the car and turned on the overhead dome light. I sat there staring at the two envelopes and I had the sudden feeling that I did not really want to know what was in them, but knew that I had to open them anyway.

I opened the one that said 'me first'. It was four sheets of paper covered with Dan's handwriting. There was no salutation, no "Dear Kathy" not even just a "Kathy." The first seven words hit me like a sledgehammer in my stomach.

"I know all about you and Mark. I've known for about two months now. Two months ago when I was supposed to go to Akron the trip was cancelled at the last minute and when I got home you weren't there. I figured that you were out with the girls and knowing that I wouldn't be home I figured that you would stay out late with them so I didn't wait up for you. When I woke up at six-ten you still weren't home and I began to have a bad feeling. I made the bed, picked up after myself so you wouldn't know that I'd been there and went into work.

"I called you that afternoon to tell you I would be home around seven and during the course of the conversation I casually asked how your night had gone. You told me that you had come home early and curled up with a book until you fell asleep. A week later I set up a phony trip to Dayton and was outside your building when you got off work and I followed you and then sat outside Mark's apartment until six the next morning. Somehow I just couldn't make myself believe that you were just up there playing cribbage or something and time got away from you.

"I loved you more than life itself and I thought that your love for me was just as strong, but I guess I didn't know you as well as I thought I did. But I do know me. I knew that if I confronted you there would be tears, you would beg for forgiveness and promises would be made. I knew that my love for you was so strong that I would have forgiven you, but I also knew that our marriage would never be the same again.

"I knew that regardless of what promises you made I would never trust you again. I knew that every time I was on a business trip I would be sitting in a hotel room with my guts churning wondering if you were with someone. I knew that every time I called you on the phone and you didn't answer my first thought would be, "I wonder who she is with." You can't live a life without trust and it was a given that I would never trust you again.

"I needed to put you behind me and it needed to be done in a way that there would be no coming back from it. Confrontation would only put me in denial, I would accept what you did, forgive you and then go on to lead a shitty life. I needed something that would burn so deep into my soul that I could never bring myself to look at you or speak to you again.

"The entire wife watching fantasy was bogus. I knew that seeing you with Mark would do what I needed it to do. The idea was simplicity itself. Tell you the fantasy and let you do the rest. "My God, it's perfect" you would think, "I can do it with Mark in front of him and have the best of both worlds - my lover and a stable home life." I knew you would do it when you said, "What if it turns out I like it and want to do it again." You were already setting me up so your affair could continue only in front of me instead of behind my back.

"Since you are reading this that means that the deed has been done. The fact that I didn't rush back to your car and grab the envelopes says that I found your coupling with your lover to be just as disgusting as I expected it to be. I took a day off work today and several friends helped me move out of the house. I have cancelled all of our joint credit cards. I've cleaned out and closed our savings account, but I left you what is in the checking account and two of the certificates of deposit. The other five and what would have been your half of the savings will help set me up in an apartment or condo. I think it is only fair that since you drove me away you should pick up part of the tab for my having to relocate.

"I do not want to talk to you or see you again. Don't call, don't write, don't try and catch me at work. I want nothing to do with you ever again."

I dropped the pages from my fingers and I wept. I sobbed and tears ran down my face as what I had done hit me. Dear God, how could I have been so stupid. I let a dalliance with someone I didn't even care about destroy what I had with the man I adored, the man who meant more to me than my own life.

With trembling fingers I picked up the second envelope and opened it. I let out a loud wail and sagged down on the seat and my fingers let the divorce papers fall to the floor.