Becoming a Slut Wife - Edith
By Just Plain Bob
I have known Edith almost all my life and for as long as I’ve known her she hadn’t liked me. It started in the first grade when she accused me of pulling her pigtails. The teacher stood me in the corner for ten minutes despite my protests that I hadn’t done it. Then, to add insult to injury Edith stuck her tongue out at me when I left the corner to go back to my seat.
That pretty much set the pattern for the next thirteen years. I had run ins with Edith in grade school, middle school and high school and the only thing I ever did to her was try to avoid her – to stay out of her way. And then she went and married my brother.
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College took me away from Edith and my brother, who chose to join the military rather than go to college, married Edith when he was discharged and came home. I heard that it was a whirlwind courtship. He came home from the Army, ran across her at a country western bar and three months later they were married in a civil ceremony. I didn’t hear about it until the three days after it happened.
I made my weekly phone call home to my mother and she said, “Guess what? Jerry got married on Tuesday. I think you know her, Edith Patterson? Didn’t you used to go to school with her?”
I couldn’t for the life of me understand what Jerry could have seen in the bitch that would even make him think of putting a ring on her finger. Oh she was a good-looking girl and she did have a pretty good figure, but she had the personality of a grape. But then it was none of my business; I didn’t have to live with her.
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I graduated and took a job six hundred miles from home and for the next three years had little contact with my family except for weekly phone calls and two or three day visits over the Christmas holidays. One day my boss called me into his office.
“You are from the Denver area, aren’t you?”
“Yes sir.”
“Know the area pretty well?”
“Lived there the first eighteen years of my life.”
“We are thinking of opening a branch in Denver. Based on your knowledge of the area where do you think we should locate?”
“If the choice were mine I’d go with the Denver Tech Center.”
“Well the choice is yours Jimmy, so the Tech Center it is and the next question is how soon can you be moved?”
“Sir?”
“The office will be yours Jim. How soon can you relocate and set it up?”
“I’m almost done with McClaren project so I’ll need to finish that. Everything else I can hand off to Mike. Say three weeks, two if I get lucky.”
“Good. Get McClaren done and then we can sit down and chart out what we want to do in Denver.
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I called my mom that night and asked if my old room was available for a couple of months and she said she was sure that we could work something out. At the time I didn’t think anything of her response. She and dad were living alone in a three bedroom house so why wouldn’t there be room?
I found out when I got there that they had redone the house. My dad’s HO gauge model railroad had taken over my old room and mom had turned Jerry’s room in to her sewing room. The basement was full of junk (stored relics according to my dad) so it looked as if I was going to have to live in a hotel or motel.
“Oh no” said my mom, “We’ve worked it out. Jerry and Edith have a three bedroom house and Jerry is looking forward to you staying with them.”
Jerry maybe, but I seriously doubted that Edith was going to welcome me with open arms. It didn’t take me long to notice that all was not well in the household. Edith treated Jerry like dirt and the worse she was to him the more he seemed to adore her. Ninety percent of his conversations with Edith could be boiled down to “yes dear,” “whatever you say my dear,” and “of course my love.”
It was clear from the very first minute that I was in the house that Edith did not share Jerry’s sentiments when it came to my staying there and she spent the first week I was there trying to bring me under her thumb like she had Jerry. Unfortunately for Edith I had grown up since our school days and I had learned (the hard way) not to always be Mr. Nice Guy. In fact, I had learned how effective being contrary could be. I ignored Edith. It was something that she wasn’t used to and I could tell that she didn’t like it, but she didn’t know what to do.
It was during the second week of my stay that I found a way to rattle Edith’s cage. She was good looking and had a good body and I was looking at her and wondering what kind of a fuck she would be and somehow she read it in my face. Later that evening I heard her tell Jerry that she was afraid to be left alone in the house with me. Jerry laughed and told her that she was imagining things.
“Damn it Jerry, he keeps undressing me with his eyes. Girls notice things like that.”
“He’s my brother Edith and I trust him.”
“Well I don’t!”
Jerry worked rotating shifts at the plant; four months on days, four months on swings and four months on graveyards. He was half way through his swing shift turn and that left Edith and me alone in the evenings. I started looking at her as if I was stripping her with my eyes and when she looked at me I would leer at her and rub my crotch. I’d whisper:
“So Edie (she hated to be called Edie), you think I’m going to rape you huh? Will you fight me if I do? Will you fight me real hard?”
One night we were sitting in front of the television and Edith got up to go to the bathroom and I asked her if while she was up she would please get me a beer.
“Why don’t you get up and get it yourself?”
“Because I have a hard on and I’m not sure what you would do when you saw it – attack it with a broom or try to pull my pants off to get to it.”
“You are disgusting!”
“And you are, what? A cock hungry slut? I see you sitting over there glancing sideways at my package and wondering.”
“I’m wondering all right. Wondering when you’ll snap and try to rip my clothes off me.”
“Not to worry Edie, it won’t be me. If you want it you will have to come and get it. I won’t go after my brother’s wife, but I won’t push you away if you come after me.”
“Can’t you think of anything but sex?”
“You say that as if sex is some horrible, nasty thing to be avoided.”
“It is with you.”
“Oh come on now Edie, I haven’t even tried.”
“No, but I know you and you will.”
Two night later, the same situation; we were watching TV and she got up to use the john and I asked her to please get me a beer while she was up. That time she didn’t say anything. When she came back into the room five minutes later I saw that she had taken her clothes off and put on a robe. She came over to me and bent down as she handed me the beer and her robe fell open enough for me to see that she was naked under it.
My mind immediately went into overdrive as I tried to figure out what she was up to. Was she trying to set something up? Get me to do something and then run to Jerry? What if she did? Was I all that keen on staying there anyway?
Those thoughts only took a fraction of a second to process and in that same fraction I decided on what to do. I ran my hand up her bare leg until it was only inches from her cunt. She didn’t move, she just looked down at me and smirked.
“Happy now? Sure you don’t want to go a little farther? I wish your brother could see you now, see how loyal you are.”
“Go ahead and tell him,” I said as I moved my hand those last few inches and felt her fur.
“He wouldn’t believe me. He’d think I was just trying to get him to make you leave.”
“We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” I said as I took my hand away and I would almost be willing to bet that I saw disappointment in her eyes as I did.
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That night changed the dynamic between Edith and me. Edith took to wearing her robe all the time when we watched television and she always moved in such a way that the robe would partially open so I could see that she was naked underneath. I was pretty sure by then that she was trying to tempt me into doing something, but to what end?
One night she sat there with the robe opened just enough that I could see part of her hairy cunt. She saw me as I kept glancing over at her and she smirked and said:
“What are you, a peeping tom or a lecher? Or are they the same thing?
I just smiled at her and then I pointed at the television set. “See that Edie? Most of the time it is just a big box full of electrical thingies that just sits there doing nothing. When you want to watch a program on it you have to push the ON button to make it work. That’s the way your robe works too. Same principle. It just sits there covering things up. When you want to show what is under it you have to open it up. Just like you pushed the ON button so we could watch the TV you had to open your robe for me to see your snatch. You don’t want me looking at it, close the robe.”
“You are such a disgusting pig!”
“Disgusting Edie? You want disgusting?” I unzipped my fly, took out my cock and stroked it a few times. “You showed me yours, so I’ll show you mind.”
She got up and ran from the room as I laughed and put my cock away.
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The next day was a hard one for me work wise. The contractors had finished the electrical on the new office and the building inspector had signed off on the Certificate of Occupancy. The office furniture had been delivered and I had wrestled it all into place. I was hot and sweaty when I got to the house so the first thing I did was take a shower. I was soaping my chest when the shower curtain opened and a very naked Edith got into the shower with me.
“Edith? What the hell are you doing?”
“Going to wash your back. Clean those places you can’t reach,” she said as she took my wash rag from me. She soaped it up good and then she said, “There are some other things that need to real clean also” as she reached for my cock and began washing it.
“I can get that part myself Edith.”
“I know, but I’m the one who needs to be sure that it is clean enough.”
“Clean enough for what?”
“For this” she said as she leaned down and took me in her mouth.
I was stunned. There wasn’t any way that I wanted that to happen. All I want to do was fuck with my brother’s wife, fuck with her mind not fuck her. Obviously somewhere along the way I’d misread something. One thing was certain however, Edith knew how to suck a dick and once she got started there wasn’t any way I was going to stop her.
Her hands gripped my hips to steady herself and I felt her tongue working on me as she fucked her mouth with my cock. It had been months since I’d had a woman so I didn’t last all that long. The first blast hit the back of her throat and she jerked her mouth off me and spit on the floor of the shower.
“Damn you Jimmy, I don’t do that. I hate the taste.”
“Then you should have warned me.”
I turned the water off, grabbed a towel and did a quick rub down on both of us and then picked her up and started down the hall.
“What are you doing?”
“You got yours and now I’m going to get mine.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll see.”
I carried her into her bedroom and set her down on the bed. “Not here” she said, “Not on Jerry’s bed.”
“Jerry’s house, Jerry’s wife, Jerry’s brother, Jerry’s bed; has a certain kind of symmetry, don’t you think?”
I spread her legs apart and lowered my face to her pussy. “Don’t do that, it’s nasty.”
“Why? Don’t you wash it?”
“That’s not what I meant. It’s a nasty thing to do; Jerry says it is perverted.”
“I’m not Jerry sweetie,” and I went to work on her muff. It only took Edith sixty seconds to decide that ‘nasty’ was good and her hands grabbed my head and held me against her box as she started moaning and I hadn’t even started on her clit yet. I attacked it and she arched up off the bed and cried out. I spent the next two minutes on her and by then my cock had risen to the occasion.
I laid back and pulled Edith on top of me, my cock sliced into her pussy and then I took my hands off of her and let her go. She bounced and wriggled, gasped, moaned and cried out as she worked to get us both off. I let her ride me for a good five minutes and then I reached up and took her nipples between my thumb and forefinger and I pinched and twisted and she screamed, “OH FUCK!” and had an orgasm. I was close so I grabbed her waist in my hands and held her as I rammed myself hard up into her and then I was there.
“Get off, get off me,” I cried, “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna shoot.”
“Do it” she hissed, “Fill me, do it, do it” and I erupted.
When I was soft I said, “I didn’t want to cum in you. I didn’t want to take a chance on getting you pregnant.”
“I’m on the pill.”
“I thought they weren’t 100% effective?”
“I know, that’s why I’m also wearing a diaphragm.”
“You took the time to put in a diaphragm? You mean this wasn’t spontaneous? Not spur of the moment?”
“What do you think? I want it again,” and she took my limp lizard in her hand.
“It may be a while.”
“I’ll help,” she said and she slid down and took my cock in her mouth.
“I thought you didn’t like the taste?”
“It’s not bad mixed with me.”
I pulled away from her and she clutched at me and cried, “Where are you going?”
“No place, I just want to see.”
“See what?”
“What we taste like together” and I pulled her into a sixty-nine.
“Oh god” she moaned, as I fastened my mouth on her pussy. “It’s a good thing Jerry can’t see this, he’d tell us we were going straight to hell” and then she swallowed my cock.
We went twice more before she pushed me away and said, “I need to shower and then straighten the bedroom before your brother gets home.”
No other words were said and I went to my room wondering what had just happened and why.
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That day opened the floodgates. From then on Edith was on me as soon as I got home from work. She would meet me at the front door naked and ready and many times on the floor just inside the door is where we did it. I never asked her why she was doing it because I really didn’t want to know. I felt guilt at fucking my brother’s wife, but I let myself rationalize it. I didn’t go after Edith, she came after me and the fact was that I didn’t have enough strength of character to push her away. Besides, the guilt had a way of disappearing with the application of her hot pussy or her hot mouth to my cock.
One day I asked, “Aren’t you afraid that Jerry may come home early someday and catch us?”
“No, not really. He’s a nice guy, but he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I could tell him we were just playing a trick on him and he’d believe it.”
I wondered why, since she seemed to have such a low opinion of him, she had even married him, but I kept my mouth shut.
Saturdays and Sundays were bad days around the house. Jerry didn’t go out or do anything; he just sat in the recliner in front of the TV, watched ball games and drank beer. This drove Edith nuts because she wanted to fuck, but would rather have done it with hubby out of the house. Since he stayed in she got inventive.
She got me down in the basement on the pretext of helping her move something and then sat on the dryer while I put the pipe to her. Next she cleared a space in the basement directly under where Jerry’s recliner was so she could hear if he got up, put a rolled up sock in her mouth and then got on her knees and motioned me to move in behind her. Another time when Jerry was in the shower she grabbed me and with one ear on the shower she spread her legs and told me to hurry up and fuck her. I came just as Jerry turned the water off.
Once, after a very long evening that started at the front door, moved to the kitchen table, went from there to the living room couch and then finally ended up on her bed I asked:
“Why? You spent thirteen years of your life showing me how much you disliked me and now you can’t seem to keep your hands off me. What gives?”
“You mean you’ve never figured it out?”
“I guess not.”
“Keep thinking about it; it will come to you sooner or later. Meanwhile, let me see if I can make this work again” and she reached for my cock.
“Damn Edith, don’t you ever get enough? Between me and Jerry you ought to be walking around bowlegged.”
“Jerry has nothing to do with it. He takes it out of his pants, puts it in me, grunts for a minute or a minute and a half, asks me if it was good for me too and then he rolls over and goes to sleep.”
Once again I asked myself why she was with him if she had such a low opinion of him. Oh well, not my problem.
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I had the office up and running so I could finally take the time to go and look for a place of my own. Saturday at dinner I told Edith and Jerry that I was going to start looking for a place. Edith took the news calmly and the facial expression she gave Jerry said, “It’s about fucking time.” Jerry, on the other hand, went to work to try and talk me into staying.
“I feel better knowing she’s in safe hands while I’m at work.”
She was in my hands all right, but not safe, at least by his definition. Later on I overheard Edith telling him she was glad I was leaving and to stop trying to talk me out of going. An hour later she was asking me if I was crazy.
“It is so much easier for the two of us if you are here.”
“Oh come on Edith, I overheard you telling Jerry you were glad I was leaving.”
“Of course I told him that. As long as he thinks I want you gone he won’t get suspicious of us. Don’t get a place of your own, please, just stay here.”
“I need to get a place of my own Edith. I need to get out and date. I need to meet eligible women, get married, raise a family.”
“You can have all that here. I’m already doing everything a wife could do for you. I wash your dirty clothes, I cook for you and you are getting more sex from me than you ever would from a wife. If you want a family I’ll have your babies. I’ll go off the pill and I’ll wear my diaphragm when I’m with Jerry and take it out when I’m with you. Just tell me how many you want and I’ll give them to you.”
That almost stunned me into silence. She’d have my babies? What the fuck was going on!
“Now you are being just plain silly Edith. How could I acknowledge them? I’d have to move out so you would have a room to put them in. Why would you do that to Jerry? Jerry is a good husband to you so why are you messing around with me?”
“I don’t love Jerry and you are much, much better in bed than he is.”
“If you don’t love him why in God’s name did you marry him?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Well tell me so I can see if I can understand it.”
“Not now. Maybe some day, but not now.”
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The next morning at breakfast Jerry asked me again not to leave.
“I start my four months on mid-nights in two weeks and I would really feel better about it if I knew you were here with Edith. I don’t like having to worry about whether or not she is okay. I know that there isn’t a whole lot of crime in this area, but I’m a natural born worrier. Please stay Jim, help me out.”
I needed to get away from Edith. I REALLY needed to get away from Edith. Oh I know that I was loving all the sex I was getting, but always in the back of my mind I was asking myself, “What is she up to?” I couldn’t forget all the trouble she caused me from first grade all the way through high school and I couldn’t help but think that her seducing me (hey- she was the one who opened her robe and who climbed in the shower with me) was part of a plan. But a plan for what?
I couldn’t see her going to Jerry and telling him unless she was ready and willing to go down in flames with me. I could be wrong of course. I could simply be a case of past history making me jumpy. For all I knew it was just my animal magnetism driving her wild. Yeah, right. I really, really needed to get out of Jerry’s place and into one of my own.
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I started going through the papers looking for an apartment close to work. When I got off work I drove around looking for a decent apartment and I found plenty of them, but I couldn’t find what I wanted. Well, that’s not exactly true. I couldn’t find what I wanted at a price I could afford to pay. So I was still at Jerry’s when he started his graveyard shift.
I quickly found out that his change of work schedule was not going to change the quantity of sex that I was getting from Edith, it just changed the timing. I was no longer met at the door with blow jobs; I started getting them to wake me up in the morning.
I usually went to bed around ten-thirty during the week and got up at five thirty in the morning. Now that Jerry was working mid-nights his car was no sooner out the driveway than Edith was climbing into bed with me. If I were asleep she would wake me up with a blow job and then fuck me until I couldn’t get it up any more. When the alarm went off in the morning she would be in bed sleeping with me, all snuggled up against me.
Jerry’s very first night on graveyards Edith came into my room, turned on the light and pulled the covers down. I was in that half awake/half asleep state when I felt my cock being handled. She squeezed it a couple of times and then she took it in her mouth and I felt her tongue slither around it. I grew as I came fully awake and my cock became even harder as her hand took hold of my ball sack and I thought the same thoughts that I always did at that point:
“Fuck it. I am not moving away from this. No fucking way am I going to walk away from this.”
She took her mouth off me and climbed up over me and as she lowered herself down on my spike she moaned:
“Ready for me lover? I’m ready for you. See how hot and wet my pussy is? You make it that way lover, you make me so fucking hot. Do you like me being a slut for you Jimmy? That’s what I am Jimmy, I’m your slut baby, your very own fuck slut. Fuck me Jimmy, fuck me.”
“Leave? Not on your ass” I thought as I drove myself up into her
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This went on for three weeks before I finally convinced myself that I’d better stop being so picky about apartments; I’d better just find something that I could afford and soon. I needed to get out of Jerry’s house before he came home from work early one day and found the two of us wrapped around each other and snoring away. I knew I had to get out, but as much as I knew it I still didn’t and the reason was Edith’s hot mouth and her constantly wet pussy. And there was another reason, even though I resisted admitting it to myself, I had fallen in love with her. It killed me to be around her knowing that except for what she gave me when Jerry wasn’t there she could never be mine. All I would ever have of her was what I could get while I was in my brother’s house
What finally stirred me into action was what happened on the first night of Jerry’s fourth week on mid-nights. Edith came into the room as soon as Jerry was gone, got in bed with me and when she had worn me out she had cuddled up next to me and murmured:
“I hope that tonight was the night Jimmy. I do really hope that tonight was the night.”
I had my arms wrapped around her and was nuzzling her neck as I asked, “The night for what sweetie?”
“I hope we made a baby tonight.”
“What?” I said as my blood turned to ice water.
“I hope you got me pregnant tonight lover. I know you want kids so I want to give you one. I went of the pill when Jerry changed shifts and tonight I didn’t put my diaphragm in. I want your baby Jimmy, I want you to get me pregnant.”
That was my call to action! The next day I took the very first apartment I saw that I could afford and the day after that I had moved in.
Jerry wasn’t very happy about it, but he understood where I was coming from when I told him I needed space so I could concentrate on my relationship with my girlfriend (which I didn’t have, but he didn’t know that). I told him that it seemed to be getting serious and might lead to wedding bells. That little bit of information seemed to trouble him, but I didn’t ask why.
Edith was furious with me. She wouldn’t even talk to me although I did over hear her tell Jerry that she was “Glad that the damned freeloader was out of the house.”
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It was two weeks after I had moved in to the apartment. I’d had a fairly good day at work and I was in a good mood when I came home. That mood evaporated when I found Edith sitting in the parking lot waiting for me. If I’d have seen her before she saw me I would have kept on going, but she had been watching for me and she got out of her car and stood there while waiting for me to park.
I got out of my car and she walked up to me, grabbed me and kissed me and when she broke the kiss I asked her what she was doing there:
“I came to give you a blow job and then I’m going to fuck your brains out, at least what few you have.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea Edith.”
“I didn’t ask you what you thought about it. I just told you what I was going to do. Now, do we go into your apartment or do I create a scene out her in the parking lot?”
I most definitely didn’t want a scene so we went into my apartment. As soon as she was in the door Edith was shedding clothes. I repeated what I’d said in the parking lot about it not being a good idea.
“Just shut up Jimmy and get your clothes off. I wouldn’t have to be here if you would have just stayed with me where you belonged.”
“Where I belonged? Why in God’s name did I belong with you?”
By then she was down to high heels and thigh high nylons, but I had made no move to undress so she muttered, “Stupid fucking men” and she came over to me, went to her knees and reached for my zipper. I’m not even close to being a strong guy, I proved that when I let her seduce me in the first place, and my dick was already on the way up before she got her dress all the way off. When she went to her knees in front of me I remembered the hot mouth, the steaming pussy and the way she had of turning me into mush and I didn’t fight.
She sucked my cock until I came and then she stood up, “Get your damned clothes off Jimmy, hurry up damn it, I need to be fucked.”
“Jerry has five hours before he leaves for work. You should be home fucking him.”
“I don’t want him, I want you” she said as she unbuttoned my shirt. “Why did you leave me Jimmy? Why did you take off and abandon me?”
“I left when you told me that you were trying to get me to get you pregnant. It was bad enough that I was fucking my brother’s wife, but there wasn’t any way I was going to give him kids to raise and support that weren’t his. Any babies in that house need to be his.”
“I don’t want his babies Jimmy, I want yours.”
By that time I was naked and she pulled me down on the floor, got on her knees and said, “Fuck me Jimmy, fuck your slutty sister in law. Shove your cock into your slut Jimmy, fuck me, fuck me hard.”
When it was over she led me into the bedroom and we went sixty-nine until I was hard again and then she rolled over onto her back and spread her legs wide.
“Look at it Jimmy. Look at my pussy. It’s yours Jimmy; it has always been yours. Fuck me baby, please fuck me.”
It was another exhausting session and it left me drained and a little light headed. I looked at the bedside clock and saw what time it was and told her that she needed to get home to her husband.
“I don’t want to go home to him Jimmy, I want to stay here with you. I’m yours Jimmy, I’ve always been yours.”
“You aren’t making any sense Edith. Most of our life you didn’t even like me. All you ever did was cause me problems and try to get me into trouble.”
“That’s the only way I could get you to notice me Jimmy. I’ve been stuck on you since grade school and you never paid me any attention at all. I wanted you to notice me Jimmy, that’s all I ever wanted, but you wouldn’t even come to me to ask me why I was so mean to you. All you ever had to do Jimmy, was notice me. If you would have come to me and asked me why I kept bothering you I would have told you.”
“If it was always me why did you marry Jerry?”
“When you went off to college marrying Jerry was the only way I could stay connected to you; the only way I could be sure of being around when you came home to visit. When you moved in with us I saw my chance and I took it. We belong together Jimmy and I know it even if you don’t.”
“You don’t know what you are saying Edith. There can’t ever be anything like that between us. You are Jerry’s wife and even though I feel guilty as hell for what we have been doing I won’t be responsible for breaking up his marriage.”
“You won’t have to, I’ll do it. He has been screwing Mary Ellen McCallister for almost three years now. I’ve known about it, but I never said anything because I needed to be with him to stay in touch with you. Now that we are together I’ll divorce him for adultery and then you and I can be together.”
“Yeah, right, and we won’t even think about the fact that my family will never speak to me again.”
“It might not be easy at first, but they will get over it.”
“Aren’t you overlooking something? That maybe I don’t feel the same about this as you do?”
“Bullshit Jimmy, I know you do even if you don’t realize it yet. I can tell from the way you stroke my body, the way you hold me after we make love, the way you run your fingers through my hair and the way you kiss my neck and nibble on my ear lobes. You love me Jimmy, you can hide it from yourself, but you can’t hide it from me. Accept it Jimmy, I’m yours and like it or not you won’t be able to get away from me.”
Her hand took hold of my cock and she said, “Once more lover, before I go home and break the news to Jerry.”
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Edith confronted Jerry, told him she knew all about Mary Ellen and that she wanted a divorce. He didn’t put up any fight at all, just said;
“Fine. If that’s what you want go ahead.”
While waiting for the divorce to become final Edith spent quite a few evenings at my place, but felt that for the sake of appearances that she shouldn’t spend the night. Several times during that period Jerry and I went out drinking and I offered him a shoulder to cry on, but he never did. He didn’t cry in his beer over Edith and what he told me on one of those nights really shook me up.
“Edith and I were a mistake from the start. I have no idea why we even got married. We weren’t married six months and I knew I had made a mistake. There wasn’t anything wrong with her; it was me. I didn’t really want to be with her, but I couldn’t figure out how to leave. I guess in a way I was relieved when she found out about Mary Ellen since that way she could end the marriage because I couldn’t seem to be able to do it. Hell, I even tried to sandbag you.”
“How so?”
“I did everything I could think of to throw you two together. Why do you think I was so keen on having you stay with us? Why I tried to argue you out of moving to a place of your own? It was my hope that the two of you would click and that I would come home from work one day, find both of you gone and a note on the kitchen table asking me to forgive you.”
“You can’t be serious. Edith doesn’t even like me. I heard her tell you to stop trying to talk me out of leaving. I heard her call me a freeloader and I heard her tell you that she was damned glad that I was finally going to be out of the house.”
“Yeah, but she was not glad for the reason you think. I saw the way she looked at you when she didn’t know I was watching her. She was glad you left because it took away the temptation. I think another month and something would have happened between the two of you. You can protest all you want bro, but just as I saw the way she looked at you I saw the way you looked at her. You could do worse Jim, you could do a lot worse. She is good looking, a great cook, keeps a spotless house and is pretty good in the sack. I can’t for the life of me figure out why all of a sudden I didn’t want her.”
“Yeah Jerry, sure. I can see it now, “Hi mom, hi dad, you all know Edith right? She’s my new girlfriend, ain’t that cool?” I can just imagine Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners at their house. You on one side of the table, me and Edith on the other and mom and dad looking at each other and wondering where they went wrong in raising me.”
“If they saw that I accepted it they would too.”
“You can’t be serious. You are pimping your wife to me?”
“My ex-wife. About to be ex-wife anyway, and like I said, you could do a lot worse.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The divorce was final eleven months ago and four months ago Edith and I got married. It raised more than a few eyebrows that my best man was my brother Jerry and that Edith’s maid of honor was my brother’s new wife, Mary Ellen McCallister.
The first Christmas dinner was a bit awkward, but we managed to get through it. I honestly believe that Jerry knew all along that Edith and I were fucking up a storm while I was living with them. I also believe that he set it up to happen just like he said he did. All I know for certain is that everyone seems happy with the way things turned out.
Mom and dad didn’t really know how to handle the situation and were a little standoffish for a while, but that changed two days ago when Edith told them they were about to become grandparents. Even now, as I finish this, my mom is in the living room coaching Edith on how to take care of her new grand baby.