I hit the post office on my way home from work and, as usual, my box was full of junk mail and bills. I leafed through them and dropped most of them in the trash can next to the table. Between the Visa statement and the Conoco bill was an enveloped addressed to me in the flowing handwriting I knew only too well. I’d been getting one a month for over a year. She had figured out that I was having my mail forwarded from the old address so she wrote and sent it there so it would be forwarded to me.

I met Pat at a wedding reception. A fellow I worked with got hitched and the entire office had been invited to the wedding. After the wedding everyone headed over to the VFW for the reception. I’d been there maybe an hour when this tall blonde walked in. She was an attention getter and she definitely got mine, but she was with someone so I put her out of my mind. Well, not completely out of my mind. The VFW hall wasn’t all that big a place so she was almost always in view.

Maybe another hour went by and I noticed that she seemed to be getting more and more upset with the man she was with. It was just after the bride and groom had cut the cake and I had gotten up to go to the bathroom. On the way I had to pass by the table where the blonde was sitting. Just as I reached the table I heard her say, "Bastard!" As loud as she said it it almost sounded as if it were directed at me and I turned to her and said:

"I beg your pardon?"

She blushed and said, "Not you, it’s this worthless lump that is my date. All he does is drink. I’ve been trying to get him out on the dance floor since we got her, but all he has done is drink and now the clod has passed out on me. I guess I deserve it though, it’s what I get for agreeing to a blind date."

Relieved to find out that she didn’t consider me a bastard I continued on to the bathroom and then went back to the table I was sharing with some co-workers.

The next time the band started playing I glanced over at her and saw her watching the dancers on the floor and tapping her toes. On a whim I got up, went over to her and asked her to dance. She said yes and that was the start of a whirlwind romance that saw us married three months later.

Patricia Ann was a computer whiz and she worked for a large corporation as a Systems Administrator. She tried to explain what she did to me, but I am one of the computer illiterate so it all went over my head. I know how to turn mine on and click on the icon that takes me to the Net and that is the extent of my computer savvy. I make my living as a heavy equipment mechanic and I do pretty well at it and it wasn’t long before the two of us had saved up enough to put a down payment on a house.

We had a great marriage; at least I thought we did. I was crazy in love with her and she certainly seemed to feel that way about me. But in the sixth year of our marriage something changed. When it started I couldn’t pinpoint with any degree of certainty and it could have been going on for quite a while before I noticed. Patty had always stopped with the girls from work one night a week and she was usually home by nine. I didn’t notice when it slipped to nine-thirty and then ten and then ten-thirty and it was only later that I thought back to those nights.

Patty started working late a couple of nights a week, usually on Tuesday and Thursday. She explained it away as an unexpectedly large contract that had critical due dates. They weren’t geared for such a large order and until management made some decisions about which way to go everyone was being asked to work overtime on shipping dates to get the orders out.

"Decisions?" I asked, "What kind of decisions?"

"They want to make sure the contract is long term before they invest in more equipment and hire more people."

"How long is this supposed to go on?"

"A couple of months maybe. I don’t know for sure."

The couple of months had run to eight months before I started bitching about it and she always calmly responded with, "It shouldn’t be that much longer baby. I know you don’t like it and I don’t either. I’m not all that fond of moving those shipping crates, but I promised to help."

And then one Wednesday night she called me and told me she had to work late that night also. "Ann was supposed to work tonight, but she was in an accident and is in the hospital so I have to cover for her."

The next morning over breakfast I asked, "How is Ann?"

Patty looked at me confused and then suddenly she said, "Ann, oh yes, Ann. She’s not good. They have her in traction. Both legs and one hip are broken and she is going to be off work for a while. Poor girl is having a hell of a run of bad luck. She went on vacation with her boyfriend and before it was over he told her he had found someone else. On the trip home the airline lost her luggage and now this accident."

"So you are going to be working overtime on Wednesdays now too?

"Yes, and maybe even a Friday or two."

It was about then I started to wonder about some things. Up to that point her working overtime was an irritant and that’s all I thought it was - just a stupid bunch of incompetent managers who couldn’t get their heads out of their asses and solve the problem. The confusion on her face when I asked about Ann started it. It was like she’d told a lie, forgotten it and then had to hurry and cover it. And if that was the case was she lying about having to work late? It was then I thought about the Wednesday nights spent with the girls from work and how they had gotten later and later. What was a computer type doing moving crates on a loading dock?

That Sunday is when it all came together for me. I was doing routine maintenance on Patty’s car. I’d changed the oil, added window washer fluid and then I decided to rotate the tires while I was at it. When I opened the trunk of the car to take out the spare I found two suitcases. Curious, I opened one and found it full of clothes. The other one was full of sexy lingerie, high heels and the like. Heels and lingerie that I had never seen before. I don’t know who Patty was wearing them for, but it damned sure wasn’t me. So much for Patty working overtime. There could only be one reason for several changes of clothes and all that sexy stuff being in her trunk and it sure wasn’t work related.

I can be a little slow on the uptake at times, but I work real hard at not being stupid. I like to look at problems, roll them around in my mind, look at them from all angles and consider all my options before making up my mind on what to do. I finished the tire rotation, closed the trunk and went into the house determined to find out more before doing anything.

Because it was the holiday season and things were pretty busy I decided to put off following Pat and spying on her until after the first of the year. It turned out that I didn’t have to wait that long. Patty’s company Christmas party was on a Wednesday and she had been looking forward to it. At the last minute I had a job come up that was probably going to prevent me from going with her. She was upset (no, that isn’t right - she was pissed!) and she was raising hell with me and I didn’t help anything when I shouted back at her:

"Now you know how I feel when you are working your damned overtime."

I told her I would try and get done in time to at least make an appearance, but that didn’t seem to mollify her at all.

The day of the party I worked my ass off to try and get done so I could make it to the party. The party started at seven and by hustling my ass off I was able to finish the job, get home, shower and change and get to the party by nine. I walked in the door and the first thing I saw was Patty locked in an embrace and french kissing some guy while people were stomping their feet, banging their fists on tables and shouting out, "Get a room you two" and "Take your affair to a motel." I turned and left without anyone even knowing I’d been there.

On my drive home I tried to make a list things that could have caused her to go looking, but for the life of me I couldn’t see what it could have been. I treated her like a queen for God’s sake. She wanted it, I did my best to get it for her. I helped around the house. I cooked at least three times a week and cleaned up after myself. I’d do a load of laundry in the evening while waiting for her to get home. I cleaned my den and the downstairs bathroom just off my den. All that in addition to taking care of the house, the yard and both cars.

I never forgot a birthday or an anniversary. I remembered the day we met and I gave her a card every year on that date; ditto on the anniversary of the day I proposed to her. I never even looked at other women. I did everything I could do to be the best husband she could possibly hope for so what went wrong? The only thing I could think of was the twenty pounds I’d put on over the last five years or so. Was that it? I was not physically attractive to her anymore?

Well, it didn’t really matter. After what I’d seen we were through. Loving her as much as I did it still wasn’t enough to make me share. And it wasn’t enough to make me fight for her either. So what if I won her back from this guy, would I win her back from the next one? And the one after him? No, as much as it pained me to admit it, Patty and I were through.

I did make one decision. The twenty pounds had to go. I’d be trim and fit when I started dating again. I also decided no divorce. I would never marry again and Patty and I had managed to get along all right while she was playing with her lover so I’d keep the status quo and save the hassle and expense of a divorce. All I had to do was pretend that I didn’t know about her and her lover.

She was in a mellow mood when she came home that night and she wanted to make love. It would have been unnatural for me to refuse her and besides I was curious to see if I could tell I was getting her lover’s leftovers. Surprisingly enough she felt no different than she had on any of a hundred other times we’d had sex in the last year, but what the hell, all that told me was how long I’d been being the second man in. I did have to wonder though, was she trying to fuck me to death out of guilt, or was she getting a charge out of giving me her lover’s leftovers?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Monday I joined a gym and sat down with a personal trainer and he mapped out a program for me. I hit the gym on the way to work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and after a month I started running on the off days - Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday - and took Sunday off as a day of rest. My relationship with Patty remained unchanged. She still acted as if I was the one and only and I never let on that I knew better. She was still ‘working late’ at least two nights a week and I had stopped bitching about it.

By the time two months had gone by I was down eighteen pounds, had firmed up some and was feeling pretty good about myself. Marla and Sally, the two girls who worked in the office, had both commented on the change and Sally asked me what brought it about. I told her that I was trying to get in shape so I’d be more attractive when I started to chase the ladies.

"Oh? And what does Patty have to say about that?"

"We have an understanding."

"Ooooh, an open marriage?"

"Yep."

"Well stud, I’m ready if you are."

That caught me by surprise. I’d always flirted with Sally and Marla and they had flirted back. I’d never expected it to be anything but flirting, but from the sound of Sally’s voice she was serious. What the hell, I said to myself, charge in there Jerry. Knowing that Patty was going to be working Thursday I said:

"You doing anything Thursday?"

"I guess I am now. What do you have in mind?"

"You pick."

"Okay, I’ll think about it and have something when you pick me up. Dress casual."

"I’ll be there at six-thirty, okay?"

Marla, who had been standing there listening, jumped in with, "Hey! I’ve got seniority here" and Sally laughed at her.

"You snooze, you lose sweetie. You will just have to wait your turn."

I showed up at Sally’s at six-thirty and she came to the door in her bathrobe. "Did I get here too early?"

"No. I’m already dressed for our date" and she opened her bathrobe. She was naked except for nylons, high heels and a garter belt. "I thought we would have desert first, dinner later and then decide what we want to do."

She led me into the bedroom and then knelt in front of me and pulled my zipper down. She reached in through my fly and wrapped her fingers around my cock and slowly worked it out into the open. She leaned forward and licked the head and then looked up at me, smiled and said:

"It’s a nice one baby, and I plan on having a lot of fun with it."

She licked the head and then the shaft from the tip to the base while she fondled my balls and then she drug her tongue along the underside until she was back to the tip and then she opened her mouth and took me in. It was one of life’s better blow jobs and she had me close to coming in just minutes. I let her know that I was getting ready to cum and she took her mouth off of me long enough to say:

"Do it baby, I want it" and then she put her mouth back on me and I blew.

I pulled her up and pushed her back on the bed, pushed her legs apart and returned the favor. I worked a finger into her pussy and my mouth found and latched onto her clit and I worked on her until she put her hands on my chest and tried to push me away.

"In me baby, in me. I need your cock in me. Please hurry baby, please fuck me."

I got up on the bed with her, pushed her legs apart and slid my cock into her and she moaned, "Oh God that feels good" and her legs clamped my waist and she pushed her hips up at me and she started cumming.

We never did get to eat dinner that night and I was one very well fucked man when Sally walked me to the door, gave me a passionate kiss and asked me when we could do it again.

"Tuesdays and Thursdays are the only days I have I can play."

"I’ll take them both."

I swung by work on the way home, used the shower in the locker room, changed into work clothes and then went down to Bill’s Bar for a beer so I would have alcohol on my breath and then I went on home. Patty was still up when I got home.

"Where have you been?"

"Knowing that you wouldn’t be here I decided to stop with the boys after work and shoot some pool."

"I hope you didn’t drink too much that you can’t rise to the occasion because I’m horny and I want your body."

I was hard put to perform, but I did manage to get the job done. I blamed the amount of time it took for me to get off on the booze. I’d have to watch that in the future. I’d forgotten that Patty always came home horny when she ‘worked late’ and I would have to make sure that I saved some for her.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For the next six weeks Sally and I went at it hot and heavy and then one night she said to me:

"It’s Marla’s turn now Jerry."

"I beg your pardon?"

"This is our last time. I’m going to let Marla have a turn now."

"I don’t have a say in this?"

"Yes and no. You have a say in whether you and Marla play or not, but no say at all in that this is our last time together. You are a married man Jerry and I’m letting myself get in too deep with you. There is no winning percentage for me here sweetie so I’m cutting you loose. Be a good guy and let it happen. That way we can stay friends and I won’t have to quit my job, okay?"

"You think Marla really wants a turn?"

"I know she does sweetie. All you have to do is ask. Then again, you may not have to. She knows I’m ending it and she might just ask you first."

And that is just what happened. Friday Marla came up to me and said:

"I hear you have Tuesday and Thursday free now. Can I have them?"

My first night with Marla was almost a repeat of my first night with Sally in that we never made it out of her apartment. There was a major difference between Marla and Sally in that Sally didn’t like anal and Marla loved it and she let me know that right up front. In fact, she wanted it up the butt more than she wanted me in her pussy. Who was I to argue with the lady?

My affair with Marla lasted five weeks and then she broke it off for the same reason Sally did.

"I’m getting in too deep with you Jerry and that is not a good thing to do with a married man."

The way they both put it was that if I were single we could move on together. They were both fun girls and both were great in bed, but get divorced to be with either of them? Get serious! They were both having an affair with a married man. Why would I want girls that would do that? I already had one of those at home.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Over the next eight months I met, dated and bedded nine different women. None of the affairs lasted longer than a month, most going only two or three weeks, but I didn’t want anything long term anyway. My home situation was unchanged. Patty still ‘worked late’ a couple of times a week, almost always Tuesday and Thursday so those were the nights that I played.

I have no idea how much longer things would have gone on the way they were going if not for a strange coincidence. It was a Wednesday and I was at the gym. I had just finished my workout and I was in the shower when the man who had been with Patty at the Christmas party came in with two other men and started to change into exercise clothes. I turned the water off and was toweling myself dry and listening to the three men talk. I got that they were members who had always come in the evenings and had switched to mornings. There was some work related talk that led me to believe that they worked for the same company although not necessarily in the same office and then one of them said:

"How are you coming along with that fox you were with at the Christmas party. Still banging her?"

"I keep telling you that I’m not trying to get into her pants. We are just good friends."

"Yeah, right. I’d like to be good friends with her too. Hell, I’d love to be great friends with her."

"Forget it. She is so hung up on her husband that you would think her was made out of gold."

"Oh come on Mike, I’ve seen the two of you hugging and kissing."

"Just brother and sister good friends hugging and kissing. Honest, she is so hung up on her husband that no other man would ever have a chance."

"Bullshit Mike. I saw the two of you at the Christmas party and that kiss you exchanged was no brotherly smooch."

"True, but it didn’t mean anything. Her husband promised her he would be there and he didn’t show. She was pissed and add to that she’d been drinking a bit. When she finally accepted that he wasn’t going to show up she grabbed me and said, "Damn it, this is a holiday party and somebody is going to kiss me under the mistletoe and if it isn’t going to be Jerry it is going to be you." That was the one and only time."

"I find that hard to believe."

"You want to know how hung up she is on her husband? You know all that shipping and receiving overtime that everyone tries to avoid? She’s is working every minute of it she can get so she can buy him a Bass Boat for his birthday. A lot of that huddling we seem to do is her asking me about motor sizes, fish finders and all the other stuff she is planning on putting on it. I just hope the guy realizes what a gem he has in her. Come on, let’s hustle, I only have the racquet ball court until seven."

After they had gone I sat down on the wooden bench in front of the lockers and just stared at the wall.

My God! What had I done. I’d totally misread what was happening and then had allowed myself to go off half-cocked. I had done what I had erroneously thought Patty had done - I had cheated. I had gone behind the back of the woman who loved me and I had cheated and not just once, but a dozen times. The only saving factor was that I had not confronted Patty and said:

"Since you are doing it I am going to do it too."

Patty didn’t know what I’d done and what I obviously wasn’t going to do anymore. What I would do was do everything in my power to make it up to her even though she would never know what I had done.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It didn’t work out that way. I just wasn’t the kind of guy who could do what I had done and then go through life pretending that everything was fine. I could do it as long as I thought I was staying even with Patty, but once I found out that she hadn’t done anything it changed everything. I could not face her. I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes. I couldn’t even bring myself to make love to her because touching her with my cheating body would defile her. I had truly gone and destroyed my marriage and fucked up my life.

The stupid part was that it didn’t have to be that way. All that I would have to have done was step up and say "This is what I think is happening and this is why I am thinking it" and we could have talked things out. Knowing what I knew after hearing that locker room conversation I’m sure that there was probably a reasonable explanation for the suitcases in her trunk, but I never gave her a chance to give me that explanation.

Now I was fucked. I couldn’t face her. I didn’t have the courage to sit down and tell her what I had done and why. I was a coward and I did what cowards do - I ran.

I went to my boss, told him I’d caught my wife cheating and I was going to move on.

"I like the company and I like the work I’m doing and if you have an opening somewhere else I’d like to transfer to it. If not I guess I’ll have to give my notice."

He picked up the phone, made a call and just that quick I was on my way to Colorado. I told him my wife would probably come looking for me to cause me trouble and I asked him to tell her that I’d quit without notice and that he had no idea where I had gone.

The next day while Patty was at work I loaded everything of mine into my pickup. At the last minute I penned a simple note - "I’m sorry" - and put it on the kitchen table. It was a rotten thing to do to her, but she would get over it in time. She deserved better than me. She could get a divorce for "abandonment" and get on with her life.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

That happened fourteen months ago and not a day went by during those fourteen months that I didn’t think of Patty and what we’d had and that I had so stupidly destroyed. Fortunately there was a lot of work for me to do and it kept my mind and hands occupied for ten or twelve hours a day, but the nights killed me and waking up alone in the morning was murder.

When I first got to the job site my solution was to hit the bars after work and drown my sorrows, but that got old in a hurry. Going to work every morning with a hangover was not a good thing and all the beer was ruining everything that the gym and running had done for me. So I put myself on the wagon, found a local gym and started getting myself back in shape.

After I’d been there six months I noticed several ladies who seemed to be taking an interest in me, but I didn’t do anything about it. My head was still full of Patty and I didn’t know if the day would ever come that she would fade away and allow me to have thoughts of another woman.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I opened the Conoco statement and saw that I had overpaid and had a credit so I tore it up and dropped it in the trashcan. I didn’t bother opening the Visa statement; I knew damned well I didn’t have a credit on that one and I wouldn’t be making the payment until my next payday so I put it in my pocket. I held up the letter from Patty and stared at it. I held it to my nose and imagined that I smelled her scent on it and then I dropped it in the trashcan.

"That’s it?" said a voice from behind me. "You don’t even open it, just throw it away?"

I turned around and found Patty standing there. "Hello Jerry, long time no see."

I just stared at her. I couldn’t even run because she was between the door and me.

"Cat got your tongue? I’m not surprised. You always were a man of few words. I only got two when you left - "I’m sorry" - and I didn’t even get to know what you were sorry about. I’ve spent the last year wondering. I’ll never know why you wasted that extra word. You could have done it with just one. "Goodbye" would have accomplished the same thing and you could have saved a word. Come on Jerry, say something."

"How did you find me?"

"I’m not saying. If you run again I might have to use it again. I’m not about to give you another way to cover your tracks. The bottom line is that I am here and I’m not leaving until I know it all."

"Not here. Follow me to my apartment."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"So what in God’s name made you think I was cheating on you?"

"You were showing a lot of the classic signs of a cheating wife. All of a sudden working late when you had never done before. Increased sexual activity with the husband because you either felt guilty or your lover had you at a fever pitch by the time you had to go home so you had to get the husband to put out the fire. Or maybe because it turned you on to give him your lover’s leftovers. Night when you stopped for drinks with your co-workers that kept you out later and later. Then I found the suitcases in your trunk full of sexy clothes that you had never worn for me. Put all that together with walking in to your Christmas party and seeing you tongue wrestling with a guy while all your co-workers were hollering at you to get a room, to take it to a motel. You don’t say things like that to people that you don’t already know are lovers, at least the people I know don’t. It all added up to cheating wife."

"You poor, stupid boob. Why didn’t you talk to me? The suitcases were Ann’s. I told you that the airline lost her luggage. They found it, but by then Ann was in the hospital in traction and she asked me to pick it up for her. And the overtime was real Jerry. All you had to do was look at my paycheck stubs.

"You were right about the increase in sex being caused by guilt, but it was guilt at having to leave you alone so much. I knew it bothered you and I was trying to make it up to you. As for the Christmas thing, it meant nothing. I had too much to drink, I was pissed at you for not being there and since you weren’t there to give me a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe I grabbed Mike. Yes, it did get a little steamy, but if you had stuck around you would have seen us break apart and then go to different tables and he didn’t even dance with me the rest of the evening.

"God Jerry, I can’t believe that you just took off on me like that and didn’t even try and let me explain."

"That isn’t why I left Patty. I left because of what I did in response to what I thought you had done."

"And what was that?"

I took a deep breath and told her about Sally, Marla and all the others and how I was able to keep the marriage going because my cheating was keeping me on an equal footing with her cheating.

"And then when I found out that you weren’t cheating my life just came unglued. I couldn’t face you knowing what I had done to you and I realized that you deserved better than a cheating asshole so I left."

She sat there staring at me as she tried to absorb what I’d just told her and then she said:

"How did you find out I wasn’t really cheating?"

I told her about overhearing the conversation at the gym. Her face lost some of its color and she said:

"My God, what a fucked up mess." She kept looking at me and shaking her head. "Let me see if I have this straight. You thought I was cheating so you cheated so we would be even, right?"

I said yes and she went on, "So, as long as we were even you felt we could have a marriage and that everything would be all right, everything would be cool, right again?"

I shook my head yes.

"It was only when you stopped thinking that I was cheating that everything went to hell, is that it?"

I said yes.

"So if you had never heard that gym conversation we would still be living together? You would still be playing with your dollies thinking you were staying even with me?"

"Probably."

She stared at me for another minute and then asked, "Did you love me?"

"Yes I did. I still do. The only reason I stayed when I thought you were cheating was because I loved you to much to leave you."

"You do know I love you, don’t you? My being here should tell you that. I was devastated when you left me and not knowing why made it worse. I need you in my life Jerry. I need you to move back home with me or I’ll move out here to be with you, but one or the other Jerry, please."

"I can’t Patty. After what I did I just can’t. Being with you would be a constant reminder of just what a cheating asshole I’d been. I just couldn’t face you every day knowing what I’d done."

"But you could do it if I was cheating on you? As long as we were even you could face me?"

I shook my head yes.

"Then come on home Jerry, because we are even. I was cheating on you. You were right, you just used all the wrong information to come to your conclusions. On the nights I was working overtime Mike and I were fucking like a couple of sex crazed rabbits. It started one night just before we finished the shift. We bumped into each other, looked at each other and it was like a sexual spark jumped between us. He just grabbed me, turned me, bent me over a packing crate and took me. And I let him. Didn’t say a word, just let him take me.

"After that almost every night we worked overtime he would catch me in a dark corner or behind a stack of boxes and fuck me. I never said no. I never said yes either; I just let him take me. It was fun sex, exciting sex, gloriously illicit sex and I loved it. I loved the sex baby, not Mike, just the hot illicit erotic sex. I never even kissed him. That kiss at the Christmas party was the first and only time he ever kissed me. I had it made; a husband who loved me and who I was crazy about and who made fantastic, passionate love to me and a part time stud who treated me like a slut, a bitch in heat and made me love it. And then I had to go and fuck it all up."

"You fucked it up? How did you fuck it up?"

"You were starting to act a little strange and I thought you might be getting suspicious. The conversation you overheard was a set up. It was supposed to put your mind at rest and keep you from finding out that Mike and I were fucking up a storm. Instead, it broke us up. If I hadn’t tried being tricky we would still be together. You would still be with me and be thinking that the playing field was even."

"You would still be fucking Mike you mean."

"No Jerry, that is the most ironic thing about this. That faked conversation that sent you away from me ended it between Mike and me. That night when we worked overtime he brought the two guys he had the conversation with in with him and told me that all three of them were going to fuck me and I walked away from him. Since that night all I’ve done is work and try and find you.

"I need you Jerry. I’m not complete without you. Please baby, can we put the past behind us and start over? We are even baby, can we please start fresh?"

I stared at her and my mind was running a hundred miles an hour. I loved her to death and I missed her so much that a day didn’t go by that I didn’t think of her and want to be with her. But could I go through it again? She must have read my mind.

"It won’t ever happen again Jerry, I can promise you that. The last fourteen months have been a living hell Jerry, they have been the most miserable of my life. Being without you is killing me and I won’t ever do anything that will put me through that hell again. Please Jerry, I’m begging you, come back to me. Back home or here, just let me be with you."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There really wasn’t any question as to what I would do. I’d only run from her because I thought I wasn’t worthy of her. Given how much I loved her if she wanted me back knowing what I had done I’d have been a fool not to go. As for what she had done I had already accepted that when I started playing the "staying even" game.

Would we make it? We should. She loved me enough to lie to me, to paint herself as a slut that she never was. She never had an affair with Mike, she just told me she did so I would believe we were even and come home to her. How did I know? When I got back home I rejoined my gym and one morning as I was doing my workout Mike came in. I don’t know why, but I kept looking at him and after a while he came over to me and asked:

"Do I know you?"

"No, but you knew my wife well enough to have an affair with her."

"Whoa up there guy. I ain’t had no affairs with no married women."

"You deny having had an affair with Patty Bradley?"

"Hell yes I deny it. What makes you think I had an affair with Patty?"

I told him the story and he shook his head. "I would have loved to have made it with her, but that Christmas kiss is all I ever got, not that I didn’t try. The conversation you overheard is the truth. I don’t know why she wants you to think that I’m her lover. All I can tell you is that I wanted to be and I tried like hell to make it happen, but she would never even give me the time of day. Hell, I was stunned that I got the Christmas kiss."

Will I ever tell Patty about my talk with Mike? No. I’m not going to do anything to upset the apple cart.

She did buy me that Bass Boat and in a perverse moment I named it and put the name in large gold letters on both sides of the bow. Every time Patty and I climb on board "Mike’s Toy" we are reminded just how fragile relationships can be and how hard you need to work at it to hold it together.